Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This episode is about healing our traumas while raising children. Today's caller, Nicole, says her children and home responsibilities are triggering her trauma. She is constantly in survival mode. She asks for guidance on how to relieve her anxiety and overwhelm. Christine offers tips for how to set healthy boundaries and regulate her nervous system. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode378] Often, there are places inside of us that are still unhealed and that are still tender. We have managed those tender parts but haven't ever transformed. It's a huge distinction between what brings peace and contentment in life and what just gets us through the day. So many of us have had a painful past that we have learned to manage or sweep under the rug, or we've distracted ourselves with work or taking care of others and haven't really, truly taken care of ourselves. Our past trauma, past issues, and challenges are not forefront every day but we aren't living to our fullest potential. The deepest level of contentment that we can access is limited because so much of our energy is spent on managing what we've never truly transformed. To get to where we want to go in life, we have to transform and that requires healing on deeper levels. There is nothing that can catalyze that like having children. Children often bring forward the things that we have swept under the rug. They force us to look at ourselves. They trigger us. They are the perfect teachers because we love them so much and we don't want to pass on our pain and trauma to them. We want to transform. but we don't know how because our inner child is still wounded; we haven't healed our traumas from our childhoods. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you a parent and do you sometimes question your parenting? Do you have unresolved trauma from your childhood and has being a parent activated it, or if you're not a parent, do you know you have unresolved trauma from your childhood and you're not sure what to do with it? Do you just feel too busy, or that there is too much going on in your life to deal with any of your trauma or do any healing? Nicole's Question: Nicole is triggered by her child and would like guidance navigating her parenting journey while healing her trauma. Nicole's Key Insights and Ahas: She has food insecurity issues. She has child abuse, neglect, and abandonment traumas from her childhood. She isn't in contact with her family. She feels she has to run the family and home by herself. She feels stuck in her relationship. Her nervous system is deregulated and in survival mode. She feels anxious and overwhelmed. She is unpredictable and inconsistent based on her trauma. She feels she doesn't deserve her daughter. Her daughter was abused by someone close. How to Get Over It and On With It: Make time for herself to heal her trauma. Regulate her nervous system daily by humming and taking deep breaths. Make a place for her daughter to have a temper tantrum. Be present with her daughter. Takeaways: What are the things you can do daily to regulate your nervous system? Sponsor: STORYWORTH — During the holidays you are bound to hear lots of stories from loved ones. Documenting those stories can be challenging. Storyworth helps your family share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. After a year, Storyworth compiles your family's stories in an exquisite hardbound keepsake book that ships for free. Give the important people in your life a meaningful gift Storyworth.com/overit and get $10 off your first purchase. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Athena Grace is now nearly nine months old and I'm finally ready to share the story of her birth. It was the most empowering and intense experience of my life and I'm deeply grateful to have delivered her at home. Stef joins me for the episode as he was o

This episode is about being open to opportunities by eliminating the walls we have up. Today's caller, Rich, feels blocked in building his coaching practice but the session is not so much about building his coaching practice but about him becoming his own best client because his biggest blocks are his own beliefs and unresolved hurts. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode377] We are told many things in our lives. Some of those things are not always positive. We tend to take on criticism much more than the compliments and acknowledgments we were given. Especially if that criticism came from a parent or any authority figure. Those criticisms from our past repeat like a broken record in our heads and impact our future. So, instead of living the life we want, we keep listening to the old story. Whose voice is in your head that you have adopted as your own? It is time to give that voice back and not allow it to define you. How we do anything is how we do everything. Many times we try to change our external circumstances thinking that a new job or new relationship will change the patterns and programming of things we don't like. But, if how we do anything is how we do everything, then we just apply the same patterning and programming to the next thing. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you suffering because you cannot identify your purpose? Is there a person in your life who is struggling to find their purpose? Do you push them to find their purpose or try to find it for them? Do you feel worthy and deserving inside? And, how does your self-confidence, or lack thereof, impact your results? Is someone else's voice inside your head? Do you need to banish it? Rich's Question: Rich would like to know how to get over his fear and anxiety to follow through with his goal of becoming a coach. He wants to overcome his limiting beliefs from his past, which may be blocking his future success. Rich's Key Insights and Ahas: He was providing his coaching services for free. He feels friends and family are expecting more of him. He is getting married soon. He suffers from social anxiety and has a hard time focusing. He meditates and exercises to deal with his anxiety. He has a mission to make an emotional impact on people's lives. He was criticized as a child by his stepfather. He struggles with self-worth and fears failure. He is a sensitive creative. He has done work around self-compassion. He is not sure of the source of his resistance. How to Get Over It and On With It: Do emotional healing and forgive himself for buying into the misunderstanding that he is not worthy. Realize the way he is treating himself is how his stepfather treated him. Treat himself like he treats his clients. Work through the emotional section of Expectation Hangover to release his anger. Consider what makes him authentic and worthy. Design a program for himself and become his best client. Takeaways: Write down your limiting beliefs and figure out who owns the voice. Move into compassion for anyone who programmed your thoughts. Write a letter to give an unwelcome belief back to the person who gave it to you. Be honest about the emotional walls you have put up and be committed to taking them down. Set up two chairs and carry out your own therapy session. Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to get an Air Doctor today go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code "Overit" and get up to 35% off on selected models. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This is the final episode of a three-part couples coaching series with Claire and Jimmy together. In today's call, Christine asks both Claire and Jimmy how they can acknowledge and appreciate each other more while empowering them to take responsibility for their childhood wounds and how they are playing out in their relationship. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode376] If you are in a relationship and you find yourself continuing to loop on the same argument over and over again, dig a little deeper to discover what is underneath it. Figure out where you may not be taking responsibility for your stuff and whether you are expecting your partner to heal it. Also, ask yourself where you may not be compassionate for their stuff and where you may be missing the ways they show up for you, and how you can appreciate it more. It is not our job in a relationship to heal our partner's wounds but it is our responsibility as a loving, conscious partner to understand and empathize with them. It's not to tolerate toxic behavior but to adjust our behavior and our request to show we are empathetic and understanding of who our partner is. The process of relationship is to continue to work on ourselves, work out our own triggers, and move toward our partner. Every relationship takes comprise. Love is a verb, not just the words. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a relationship and you keep looping on the same argument over and over again? Do you have a sense that the argument, the disagreement, or the trigger you're having could be linked to a deeper issue? Are you willing to compromise in your relationship or do you just want it your way? Are you ignoring the ways your partner does love you and does show up for you because it is not exactly the way you want it? Claire & Jimmy's Question: Claire & Jimmy together. Claire & Jimmy's Key Insights and Ahas: Claire triggers Jimmy to put his walls up and he shuts down. Jimmy's version of being committed doesn't match up with Claire's. Claire is yearning to have Jimmy all-in, in the relationship. Intimacy is scary for Jimmy. They are helping each other heal. Claire is scared she can't get her needs met in their relationship. They both realize they need to make some changes. Jimmy is sensitive to disappointing people and timid about the level of commitment Claire wants. They have a coffee date, meditate together, and relax in the hot tub at night. How to Get Over It and On With It: Claire can acknowledge all the things Jimmy is doing right. Every night, Jimmy can tell Claire why he loves her. Claire can give Jimmy time to feel safer in the relationship. Show a greater level of empathy and understanding to each other. Jimmy can talk to Claire with the kindness and compassion he shows his daughters. Claire can have compassion for Jimmy as he is trying to figure things out. Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — is good looking, clean cooking. Caraway cookware is beautiful, easy to clean and use and it is non-toxic. It has a naturally slick ceramic surface and comes in cookware and bakeware sets. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off limited-time offer and use Overit at checkout. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Krista St-Germain is a Master Certified Life Coach, Post-Traumatic Growth and grief expert, widow, mom and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast. When her husband was killed by a drunk driver in 2016, Krista's life was completely and unexpectedly flipped upside down. After therapy helped her uncurl from the fetal position, Krista discovered Life Coaching, Post Traumatic Growth and learned the tools she needed to move forward and create a future she could get excited about. Now she coaches and teaches other widows so they can love life again, too.

This episode is the second of a three-part couples coaching series. Christine coaches Claire and Jimmy separately, and then together in Part 3. In today's call, with Jimmy, she explores the things from his childhood that may make commitment a bit hard for him. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode375] It is okay if we have conflict. It is okay if plans need to be rearranged. It is okay if you unintentionally disappoint someone. There is a difference between promising someone you will be somewhere and not showing up versus having to renegotiate an agreement. It is reframing conflict into clarification. Because not every situation, conversation, or engagement with someone that we think is going to be stressful is. If we go in thinking something is going to be confrontational, that the other person is going to be upset, or that it is not going to go well, we limit the possibilities. But if we go in seeking clarification, or as a renegotiation of a commitment, then it becomes an entirely different conversation. When we find a safe space on our own, we don't necessarily default to an avoidant attachment style, although it can happen. What we default to is that it is safer on our own. Intimacy or really committing to making plans is challenging. If we add in that we don't want to disappoint anyone as a sort of reason or even a subconscious excuse not to make plans, not to get closer, then we have a great wall of protection built around us. It can prevent us from going to deeper levels of intimacy with others. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you sometimes commitment-phobic? Do you love the idea of plans but when it comes to making them, it's hard, or wish your partner would make plans and you don't understand why they don't? Do you relate to being a lone wolf and find it hard to be in relationship because you sometimes do better on your own? And, although you want love, commitment, and relationship, at the same time you don't want to disappoint anyone? Do you not do things for fear of disappointing people but then you end up disappointing them anyway? Jimmy's Question: Jimmy wonders if there isn't more at play when he and Claire struggle with planning things together. Jimmy's Key Insights and Ahas: When he gets pressed or pushed he feels blocked and withdraws. He is worried his responsibilities hinder him from showing up responsibly. He fears letting Claire down. He is taking steps to adjust his work calendar. His schedule to see his children is fluid. It is important that he shows up responsibly for work. His father wasn't present for him in childhood. He wants to show up for his daughters. He has a pattern of avoiding conflict. He wants harmony in his life. At 14, he helped parent his siblings and worked outside of the home. He didn't have anyone looking out for him growing up. He enjoys being committed but not committed. He likes to be spontaneous. He can see why Claire feels the way she does. He is scared of intimacy. His identity, confidence, and worth are tied to his work. He has an opportunity for intimacy. How to Get Over It and On With It: Reframe how he thinks about conflict. Think about renegotiating plans as clarifying conversations. Ask 14-year-old Jimmy what he is scared of. Consider what kind of relationship he desires. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

An enlightening psychologist and national speaker, Dr. Marisa G Franco is known for digesting and communicating science in ways that resonate deeply enough with people to change their lives. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and her forthcoming book Platonic: How The Science of AttachmentCan Help You Make—and Keep—Friends debuts with Penguin Random House in September 2022. She writes about friendship for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications like The New York Times, The Telegraph, and Vice. She speaks on belonging across the country.

This episode is the first of a three-part couples coaching series. Christine coaches Claire and Jimmy separately, and then together in Part 3. In today's call, Claire reveals she would like Jimmy to make plans with her and make her a priority in his life. Christine uncovers some childhood patterns that may be at play in Claire's current relationship. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode374] When there is something that is bothering us and we are unable to shift it, we need to dig deeper. It is normal for us to be able to identify what is going on with someone else yet still to be blind to our own blocks. When we finally see it we realize how obvious it was but it is hard to see. We often just want to notice the current problem and fix our relationship, versus going back to see what it reminds us of in our past. Things in our lives will continue to be frustrating until we unpack the message they are illuminating. When we take the time to work on ourselves first, often it offers more clarity about issues in our relationships. We can't work on issues in our relationships without working on ourselves. Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there a constant pattern in your relationship you can't seem to shift? Do you and your partner argue about the same issues over and over? Do you have an unmet need from a parent that is showing up in your relationship? Are you willing to see your partner in a different light? Are you willing to see your partner for who they are, right here, right now? Claire's Question: Claire would like guidance about how she can feel like a priority in her partner's life. Claire's Key Insights and Ahas: Her childhood wound is abandonment. She doesn't feel like a priority in Jimmy's life. When she feels seen by Jimmy she feels empowered in the relationship. She has different patterns than Jimmy. She has been married before. Her father wasn't present every day in her childhood. She is attached to planning and doing things. How to Get Over It and On With It: Practice connection and intimacy with Jimmy in everyday life. Remind her inner child that Jimmy isn't her Dad and she can get love whenever she wants. Let go of planning for a while to accept love in the here and now. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Christine's husband Stef who is a breathwork facilitator joins her to talk about the incredibly powerful modality of breathwork. Learn more about what breathwork is and how it may help you to tap into deeper levels of healing and freedom. If you want to join Stef and Christine for their next breathwork event, go here: https://stefanossifandos.com/feminine/ And if you are interested in their breathwork and meditation program, go here: https://christinehassler.com/breathwork

This episode is about trusting our intuition and keeping others' voices out of our heads. Today's caller, Hannah, has made a clear decision to do something for herself. Yet, doubts are creeping in due to the opinions of others. If you have a gut feeling about something and other people are doubting you or you want to get to the place where you can trust your own inner knowing, this call will be extremely helpful. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode373] You do not owe anyone an explanation for your decisions. If your decisions directly impact others, then a discussion is necessary. But, when you make personal decisions that only impact you, it is nobody else's business but yours. And on the flip side, we need to respect other people's choices even if we wouldn't make the same ones. When people are not respecting our boundaries, it is imperative we create a distance from them. And, just because someone is a family member, doesn't give them the right to have unlimited opinions about our lives and to know everything about us. Other people's voices should not be louder than our own intuition. Join Stefanos live for Breathwork for the Feminine. It is designed for women only. Stefanos leads the breathwork and then he and Christine both do coaching and processing afterward. Join them live in Austin on November 7th, 2022, from 6‒9 CST, or join virtually — Go to Stefanossifandos.com/feminine to register. Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you recently made a decision that others are doubting and you wonder if you should be doubting it yourself? Do you have a habit of people-pleasing, being a chameleon, or going against what you want? Do you doubt that you have intuition and don't know how to connect to it? Do you need to have stronger boundaries with certain people in your life? Hannah's Question: Hannah is on the brink of a scheduled surgery. She knows this is the right choice for her but would like clarity about the pressure she feels. Hannah's Key Insights and Ahas: She's never wanted children. She has a tubal ligation procedure scheduled. Her inner voice is telling her she is broken. She's done personal development work for some time. She is the only child in her family who isn't married or doesn't want children. Having the procedure feels self-honoring. Others around her question her judgment. She struggles when making decisions for herself. She feels pressure about not having rights over her body. She felt a sense of relief after making a decision. This may be the first decision she has made based on what she wants. She is a people-pleaser. How to Get Over It and On With It: Make choices without checking in with others. Stop putting her needs aside in favor of the needs of others. Practice making quicker decisions and go with her gut. Takeaways: Stay out of other people's business. Keep others out of your business. Listen to your gut. Don't let people's voices be louder than your own voice. Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — is good looking, clean cooking. Caraway cookware is beautiful, easy to clean and use and it is non-toxic. It has a naturally slick ceramic surface and comes in cookware and bakeware sets. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off limited-time offer and use Overit at checkout. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Have you forgotten who you truly are? Are you caught up in some self-doubt, guilt, loneliness, sadness or disappointment? Could you use a reminder of how lovable you are? Then don't miss this episode where Christine speaks straight to your heart.

This episode is about how loving actions help us heal. Today's caller, Jada, was never shown love in childhood and wants to know how she can learn to love herself. When we don't have loving stable parenting, we are at a disadvantage. But, people who have had a disadvantaged childhood and have done the work to heal it, find a force, love, and momentum that is unstoppable. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode372] Growing up without a role model for what love feels like is akin to growing up in a house with only one language. Would you expect yourself to speak another language naturally? Would it just appear in your brain? No. When we don't have models for what love is, it is hard to access love; it is hard to know what true healthy love is without other people. It makes it hard to access self-love as well. When something bad happens, many people say that the experience has made them stronger and more resilient. But what that translates to is the experiences they endured created walls to protect their heart so they never really let love in because they are scared to death of being hurt again. For many people who had difficult childhoods, there is a lot of anger and grief they never got to feel. When we are healing trauma it is not about going back and reliving the experience. It's about giving ourselves the voice we never had. When looking at self-love, we have to take actions that signify self-care and actions that signify that we are being good to ourselves. That is the first step in learning how to love ourselves. Love is a feeling that we can access through actions. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you want to love yourself but you are not sure how? Did you have a traumatic childhood full of chaos and without a role model of love? Do you question if you will get over your past? Could it be possible that you are doing loving things but you don't even know it? Jada's Question: Jada grew up without a role model of what love is and would like guidance on how to find genuine self-love. Jada's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels anxiety when telling her story. She was abused and didn't have love in her childhood. She feels unworthy and undeserving of love. She wants to turn her memories into something else. She has done self-work for three years. She is repressing anger. She wants love and support. Her inner child craves unconditional love. She recognizes how her lack of self-love shows up in her life. She is tired of how her childhood has affected her. She does not go into victim. How to Get Over It and On With It: Discontinue trying to find beauty in the trauma. Take the time to process her emotions. Recognize that love; she may not know how to feel self-love but she knows what loving actions are. Give herself credit for how far she's come. Know that as she continues on this healing path she will propel forward. Find a seasoned therapist so she doesn't have to do healing alone. Sponsor: Organifi — is a healthy and easy way to get the nutrients you need. The body needs both macro and micronutrients for optimal health. Organifi's Green Juice includes Moringa which is known as nature's most powerful multivitamin. For 20% off your order use the code 'OVERIT' to receive 20% off your order. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about accepting where we are in life and enjoying it to the fullest. Today's caller, Lindsey, has wanted to find a partner to share her life with for a long time. She has done personal development work but still believes she needs to fix herself before calling in a partner. We work through ways she can trust life, trust divine timing, and enjoy her life. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode371] When we have hindsight, it is easy to move into acceptance. We look back and consider that something happened for a reason it makes it easier to accept. When we have to accept something, or we choose to accept something that isn't what we want, that is when the real spiritual ninja work comes in. The constant trying to figure out why — which is something we all do to some degree — we don't have something we want or something in our life isn't working. We pick ourselves apart with a fine-toothed comb trying to find the reason. Because if we find the reason, it gives us control and then we can do something to solve it. It is a pattern of constantly looking. Acceptance is when we move into the peace of what is. It is when we stop wishing for something to be different or when we have feelings about circumstances not being what we want, we don't bypass them. Resignation is when we give up. Acceptance has relief energy. When we surrender we can be open to something shifting. When we move into full acceptance of who we are and where we are in our lives, the acceptance keeps us in the energetic of love and shifts what we are broadcasting. Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there something you want badly and think you will be happier when you get it? Are you single and don't want to be single but you can't move into acceptance of it? Have you done work to change an issue or circumstance but it isn't shifting and you keep trying? Do you believe your life would be better if you had something you don't? Lindsey's Question: Lindsey has been single for most of her life and would like guidance on how to call in a partner. Lindsey's Key Insights and Ahas: She has been single for 10+ years but wants to call in a partner. She is an adventurous woman in life and work. She has a belief that men find her good enough to sleep with but not good enough to date. She believes she would be better in a relationship. She is sad because she doesn't have a partner. She feels she has no control over finding a partner and pities herself. She feels looked over by the people in her life. She has limiting beliefs about herself. She is constantly doing to not think about the uncertainty of life. She believes that if she doesn't work hard to get something she won't get it. She is incorporating practices to keep herself present. She surrenders in water and with music. How to Get Over It and On With It: Accept where she is right now. Move toward acceptance and let go of wanting something else. Make a playlist of songs that make her love her life in the now. Stop herself from going down a spiral. Stop trying to fix something that isn't broken. Trust life and trust divine timing. Takeaways: You can't always get what you want but you can get what you need. If we can move into acceptance of wherever we are or are not, we have more enjoyment and freedom in our life. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you feel like you have done lots of personal development work yet certain patterns or issues keep coming back, then don't miss this episode! Christine explains why you must plant flowers after you weed your consciousness and break circuits that are currently running your mental programming.

This episode is about the protective patterns we create when we don't feel safe. Today's caller, Amanda, says she wants guidance on how to access her sensuality but the core issue is truly about how she can feel safe and be vulnerable. We can't feel safe in our sexuality or sensuality unless we feel safe in our vulnerability. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode370] When women don't feel safe in their bodies we tend to go into our heads. We talk, talk, talk, and don't notice what is going on in our bodies. As human beings, we are a combination of doing and being, flowing and going, masculine and feminine, sensual and productive, right and left. So, one of our biggest turn-ons is safety. If we feel safe, we can let go. If we don't feel safe, forget about it. We need to learn that it is safe to feel and to be emotionally vulnerable. When we attempt to make changes while in frustration, it is important to shift into vulnerability and full self-expression. We need to accept all aspects of ourselves. Sensuality can feel scary because it feels out of control when we keep our safe place in our heads. When we don't feel safe, we have protective patterns that frustrate us. We judge the patterns and try to change them. But, nothing heals judgment. The first step of healing is to love, accept, and thank the pattern for protecting us. If you don't feel safe expressing yourself emotionally, you won't feel safe expressing yourself sensually and sexually. When an expression is muted, all expressions are muted. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel blocked from your sensuality? Would you like to be more expressed in your life, especially sexually? Did you have the space to be expressed as a child? Was vulnerability encouraged in your house or did you have to hide or numb your feelings or deal with them on your own? Are you in a relationship and feel inhibited with your own partner? Do people in your life give you feedback that they would like to be closer to you? Do you feel your relationships could be deeper but you are scared to go there? Amanda's Question: Amanda feels shame and guilt when it comes to sensuality and would like guidance on how to embody her sexuality without guilt and to feel good. Amanda's Key Insights and Ahas: She will be 40 this year. She is in a loving, committed relationship. As a child, she was raised Christian and was taught to believe that "good girls don't" do certain things. She wants to let go of things that don't serve her. She feels awkward when expressing her sensual self. Feeling uncomfortable and numb stems from her childhood. She doesn't feel safe being vulnerable. People care about her and want to be honest with her. She wants to break the pattern. She commits to being in her body and creating opportunities to be emotionally vulnerable. How to Get Over It and On With It: Remind herself that it is safe to feel. Feel her discomfort but also feel she is safe. Practice vulnerability. Write three questions to evoke emotional vulnerability. Recreate an opportunity to be fully expressed. Forgive herself for judging herself and being hard on herself. Takeaways: If you want to be more sensually or sexually expressed, look at how emotionally expressed you are. Do you make safe spaces for your sensuality? Sponsors: Organifi — is an organic superfood supplement line that makes quality, trusted nutrition convenient and acceptable. I love Organifi's Gold and Gold Chocolate, which include relaxing mushrooms and root spices. It doesn't spike your blood sugar like other hot chocolates. For 20% off your order use the code 'OVERIT' to receive 20% off your order. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about upper limiting and discerning deal breakers versus growth opportunities in relationships. Everything seems to be finally working out for today's caller, Daria, but she is having difficulty accepting it and her fiance. She asks for guidance on how to break existing patterns to make sure she doesn't self-sabotage herself or her relationship. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode369] It is very common that once we start to get the things we want, we start to wonder if we deserve them and if they are fleeting. We often have unexpected feelings when things start to go well. When the hormones and infatuation of a new relationship wear off, in the realness of a relationship, there may be things about our partner that we don't like. In most relationships, there are things about our partners we just don't like and that we want to change. These things fall into several categories but more definitive would be to think of them as deal breakers or growth opportunities. There are some things about our partner that we need to decide if it is truly annoying or not. Focusing on what we love about our partners and accepting them for who they are can go a long way. We can choose to focus on the great things about our partners. When we want to request a change of behavior from our partner, they must feel safe in the relationship. My Women's Retreat is this weekend, October 7‒9, 2022 in Austin. Go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat to get more information about this gentle and nourishing life-changing opportunity. Whatever your issue or concern there is a place for you. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you sure about your relationship? You don't have doubts but there are some things about your partner you wish they would change. Do you tend to have high standards and wonder if you are settling? Are you good at communicating what you need in a relationship? Or, maybe you are not as good at it as you think you are? Are you willing to be the change you want to see in the relationship? Daria's Question: Daria is feeling a sudden change of feelings toward her fiance and would like guidance to ensure she doesn't self-sabotage. Daria's Key Insights and Ahas: She is upper limiting herself. She discovered her ex-husband deceived her. Her upbringing drastically changed when her mother got sick. She loves her fiance. She feels herself pulling away from her partner. She wishes he could be more of a grownup with her. She feels comfortable asking for things from him but feels she has to do it constantly. She loves his sense of playfulness and is a good friend to people. She is not sure when she is trying to change her partner or change the things he does. She is trying to learn how to deal with him and her feelings. Her relationship feels lopsided. She wants to make the relationship work. How to Get Over It and On With It: Read The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level by Gay Hendricks. Get turned on by the things she loves about her partner. Realize her fiance feels her come-and-go energy and it can make him feel unsafe. To break her pattern, consider when and how she can lean into how much she loves him. Trust life and know that it is safe to be happy. Takeaways: Experiment with a person who annoys you. For one week, choose to only recognize the amazing things you like about them. Sponsors: Caraway Cookware — Now that I am cooking for my baby I want to make sure I have the least amount of toxins in my house. Caraway cookware is beautiful, easy to clean and use and it is non-toxic. It has a naturally slick ceramic surface and comes in cookware and bakeware sets. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off limited-time offer and use Overit at checkout. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Author, speaker, teacher and force of love Danielle LaPorte joins Christine to dive deep into inner child work, forgiveness, radiance, choosing higher quality thoughts and so much more. Make sure to get her new book How To Be Loving: As Your Heart is Breaking Open and Our World is Waking Up which is a nuanced perspective on the life-changing power of Self Compassion, shadow work and being more receptive to Higher Guidance. This is a guide on how to use the genius of your heart to create conditions for healing. Learn more at https://daniellelaporte.com/

This episode is about being the parent you always wanted and wanted to be. Today's caller, Carrie, wants to repair a strained relationship with her children. She feels shame about her past behaviors and wants guidance on how to build a connection with them and their children. There is a lot of vulnerability and courage in this honest conversation. It can be scary to be a generational pattern breaker and it takes a lot of courage to follow through but it can transform our relationships. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode368] Many parents carry around a silent shame about some of the choices they made as parents. Parenting is hard. It doesn't come with a manual. Creating a healthy environment for our children is challenging when we don't have good parenting ourselves. We are still impacted by our trauma and our hurt; it can feel impossible not to pass it on. The hard part about trauma, or behavior we categorize as hurtful or bad, is that it is not due to anyone setting out to hurt another person. People who have unprocessed trauma and don't know how to deal with it. People who are hurt and sad all the time haven't gotten to their anger. People who are angry and explosive haven't gotten to their hurt and sadness. What happens with parent-child relationships is the hurt parent wants a two-way street. Meaning, the hurt parent wants the child to make it okay for them as well, but that is not the child's job. It is the parent's job to make it okay for the child. Give your children the opportunity to hear the things they always wanted to hear. Register for my upcoming Women's Retreat which will be held in Austin from October 7‒9, 2022. Go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat to get more information about this gentle and nourishing life-changing opportunity. Whatever your issue or concern there is a place for you. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you a parent that has guilt or shame about how you parented or how you treated your child or children? Do you know that you are passing on generational patterns and trauma? Have you told yourself you would never do it yet you find yourself doing it? Do you have a strained or strange relationship with one of your children that you want to remedy? You want to have a connection with them but you are not sure how. Do you trust yourself enough to parent yourself in a way that can help you parent your child better, and your adult children who still need parenting? Carrie's Question: Carrie was a parent who inflicted trauma on her children. She would like guidance on how to repair their relationship. Carrie's Key Insights and Ahas: She was a single mother. Her children were teenagers when she made regrettable decisions. She acted in ways that made her children feel unsafe. Inconsistent behaviors were common while she was raising her children. She is a full-time traveler. Her children don't acknowledge her as family. Her children's father isn't accessible. She feels shame about repeating the actions of her parents. She fears triggering her daughter when around her grandchildren. Her daughter doesn't reach out to her. She doesn't want to hear what her daughter may say to her. She fears confronting her anger. How to Get Over It and On With It: Trust that it is time to remove her shame. Step into her mama bear and expect more from herself as a mother. Have a heart-to-heart conversation, apologize to her daughter, and listen and love her. Allow herself to feel her sadness. Do the Anger Release process. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about navigating a relationship with a new baby coming. Today's caller, Cassie, is about to have a child but is uncertain about staying with the baby's father. She would like guidance about how to feel supported emotionally and financially during this trying time. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode367] It is difficult enough for women who are becoming new mothers but for them to not have support can be really challenging. But, on the other hand, couples who stay together for the children who are not in a healthy relationship don't have kids that turn out any better than the kids whose parents got divorced. Kids pick up on unhealthy relationships when they are not aligned and may model their future relationships on them. When a baby comes, it transforms and changes a relationship. The focus of attention is on the baby and not as much on the partners. That is why it is important to have clear agreements in place about parenting responsibilities before a child is born. I'm excited about my upcoming Women's Retreat which will be held in Austin from October 7‒9, 2022. Go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat to get more information about this life-changing opportunity. Whatever your issue or concern there is a place for you. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a relationship and you don't know whether to stay or go? Do you have children and you are concerned the relationship isn't a fit and you don't know if you should stay in it for the children? Do you feel your partner isn't holding up their end of the agreement? financially, personal development, or any other way? Do you have clear agreements with your partner so each of you knows what you can expect and count on from each other to prevent expectation hangovers? Cassie's Question: Cassie is pregnant with her partner of 2-plus years. She is having some difficulty in her relationship and would like guidance on whether or not to leave the relationship. Cassie's Key Insights and Ahas: She is seven months pregnant. Her pregnancy has highlighted some of her fears about her relationship. She is unsure if her intuition is telling her to step away from the relationship. She is excited about becoming a mother. She and her partner have different values around money. She is confused about her next steps. Her partner wants to be in the relationship. Her partner recently left his career. She feels emotionally distressed from their disagreements. She wants her partner to monetarily provide for the family. She is not yet sure about what agreements she will need to clarify. How to Get Over It and On With It: Get clear agreements from her partner about the upcoming parenting responsibilities. Consider how she can respond to his requests without anger or resentment. Recognize that she is a co-parent with her partner. Appeal to her partner's heart about the parenting and healing opportunity. Pay attention to the things she appreciates and loves about her partner. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Christine shares five reminders that may come at the perfect time for you. If you are disappointed with something in your life, judging yourself, lacking in self-care, don't feel like all the "work" you are doing is paying off, or just need some inspiration today - don't miss this episode!

This episode is a couple's coaching session with the partners currently experiencing struggles in their relationship. Rory & Tyler have listened to their partner's individual sessions and spoken with each other about what they heard. Christine discusses strategies and opportunities the couple can use to move their relationship forward. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode366] Relationships are challenging. It is generally easy in the first year when there is infatuation and hormones but afterward comes the depth, transformation, and healing. In any relationship, struggles and doubts are normal and natural. It is important to uncover where the doubt is coming from. Does it come from red flags or deep intuition? There is a difference between a relationship that has potential versus a relationship that has the key ingredients to go the difference. Love isn't always enough for a relationship to go the distance and to be healthy. However, love plus a commitment to do the work independently and together can be the game-changer in a relationship. Making loving requests is a great way to not build resentment in relationships. Requests from a loving place are much different than demands from a defensive or pissed-off place. People who come from a defensive or pissed-off place have difficulty getting their needs met. Consider/Ask Yourself: When you hear your partner give feedback about you, can you hear it or do you get triggered immediately? Are you playing out little boy or girl behavior in your relationship that is a turn-off for your partner? Are you respecting and tending to the little boy or girl inside your partner? Are you willing to go the distance in your partnership by doing the work? Is your partner willing? Are you willing to be in a relationship where your partner isn't doing the work? Can you make powerful, loving requests of your partner to get your needs met? Rory & Tyler's Question: After their separate coaching sessions, Rory & Tyler come together to work through their issues and discuss ways to move their relationship forward. Rory & Tyler's Key Insights and Ahas: Tyler wants to hold space for Rory to really see her. Rory wants to be her whole self and allow Tyler to be his whole self in the relationship. They both would like unclouded, infinite, real love. Tyler would like words of confirmation from Rory. Tyler finds it hard to release anger. Tyler feels triggered when Rory acts a certain way. Tyler needs to be inspired romantically. Rory loves Tyler for his support. Tyler loves Rory for her joviality. How to Get Over It and On With It: Tyler, do emotional release work. Rory, explore her sensuality and sexuality. Get specific with each other about what they want. Work with a therapist together and separately. Tyler, when he is triggered to remind himself that Rory is not his mother. Use a simple codeword to help their partner recognize their triggers. Rory, inspire Tyler romantically. Sponsor: Mind Doc App is an easy way to bolster your mental health and get constructive suggestions. Whether you are generally fine or struggling with something, you can answer a few questions in the Mind Doc app a few times a day and the app's algorithm provides you with an overview of your mental wellbeing. Get 50% off a 6-month subscription to the app at https://minddoc.onelink.me/D1u6/qryj27lw, and use the code CHRISTINE50 Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

After Nanci died on March 14, 1994, she returned to Nanci's life from the most extensive afterlife experience survived and recorded in order to tell anyone who would listen about what happened to her in the afterlife and what she remembers learning there about life, death, and the afterlife. Her afterlife experience gave her knowledge of spiritual tools we souls inside humans can access and she shares that knowledge with us. Her new book, Create a New Reality—Move Beyond Law of Attraction Theory, introduces you to the incredible spiritual power of manifesting that we souls possess, and leads you step-by-step through how to create more opportunities to better your life, to replace old beliefs that hold you back from creating a happier life, and to heal yourself of physical and emotional wounds. Learn more at http://nancidanison.com/

This episode is a couple's coaching session with the female partner in the relationship. Today's caller, Rory, finds herself at a crossroads after being in a three-year relationship with Tyler. She would like guidance on whether or not she can get her needs met in this relationship. During this session, Christine questions whether there are enough shared values for both of them to go the distance in a side-by-side partnership. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode365] The length of a relationship does not determine its success. If a relationship doesn't last, it is not a failure. Some of the most successful relationships have ended. Relationships are successful when you learn a lot or heal from them. Unfortunately, love isn't enough in a relationship. Physically, for men, attraction is very important. They like to feel attracted to their partner consistently over the long term. For a female to feel sexual and safe, she needs to feel like there is a commitment to consciousness, emotional vulnerability, and intimacy. A couple needs shared values, vision, the right polarity, and an equal amount of willingness and commitment. A couple must want the same things in life to make a relationship work. I'm happy to announce that my next Women's Retreat will be held in Austin from October 7‒9, 2022. Go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat to get more information about this life-changing opportunity. There is still time to register! Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in any kind of relationship, be it friendship, romantic, or work where you feel you are giving more than you are getting? Did you grow up in a family where love was confused with validation? Did you only feel loved and seen when you accomplished something? Are you a female who has been accused of being too much in your masculine energy? Do you feel you have done a lot of work but your romantic partner isn't doing their work? Do you think you will be willing and able to grow together as a couple? Rory's Question: Rory is at a crossroads with her partner and trying to figure out if the relationship has run its course. Rory's Key Insights and Ahas: She believes she operates in the masculine and her partner in the feminine. She believes things need structure and that a relationship needs work. She feels she does more than she receives. As a child, she only felt love when she accomplished something. Her relationship feels safe to her. She doesn't feel taken care of in the relationship. She knows, logically, that Tyler loves her but her emotional needs aren't being met. She has been a victim of sexual assault. She feels less than when she is being herself. She feels she is not supported when she makes decisions. They took a short break from the relationship. She would like Tyler to dive deep into the work needed in their relationship. How to Get Over It and On With It: Look into the protective patterns that show up in her relationship. Be completely herself in the relationship. Ask for what she needs in a vulnerable way. Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — I am a stickler for healthy food. I worked long and hard to make sure I have the least amount of toxins in my house. Caraway cookware is beautiful, easy to clean and use and it is non-toxic. Its naturally slick ceramic surface needs minimum oil or butter for the slide-off-the-pan eggs we all love. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of a 10% off limited-time offer and use Overit at checkout. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

In this episode I share my fertility and pregnancy journey. My intention is to share information that may be helpful and inspiring. I've received a lot of questions about getting pregnant in my 40s and I've been hesitant to share since fertility is such a tender topic and I have deep compassion for anyone going through fertility or pregnancy challenges. Please know you are not doing anything wrong and there is nothing wrong with you. I hope this episode is helpful.

This episode is a couple's coaching session with the male partner in the relationship. Today's caller, Tyler, is in a relationship with an amazing woman. He says they are at a crossroads and would like guidance on whether or not to make her his life partner or if they are better served to let each other go. Christine uncovers a childhood wound that may be keeping him from experiencing true intimacy with his partner. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode364] In a relationship, over time the attraction changes. It becomes more about intimacy and about exploring sexuality together. The initial infatuation attraction is easy. That is the low-hanging fruit attraction. Next-level relationships take intimacy, sexuality, and affection to another level. In a relationship, it is about exploring and going deeper with each other and not relying on the quick high. The beginning of a relationship is almost always the easiest. We have hormones attracting us to each other and things are new and shiny. It is when we go deeper that intimacy blocks reveal themselves. Remember, more often than not, things that come up in our relationships stem from things that we did not get in our childhood. I'm happy to announce that my next Women's Retreat will be held in Austin from October 7‒9, 2022. Go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat to get more information about this life-changing opportunity. The early-bird promo ends on Sept. 1, 2022. So register ASAP! Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you someone who loves romance, and the infatuation period in a relationship but after it wears off you find it gets hard? Do you feel that your needs are not being met or do you have a hard time communicating your needs? Do you have a mother or father wound and you think it may be impacting how you are showing up in a relationship? Are you questioning whether the relationship you are in is the one you should be in or whether it has an expiration date and it is time for you to move forward? Tyler's Question: Tyler is in a relationship and is looking for guidance on how to make strides toward making her a life partner or if they are better served to let each other go. Tyler's Key Insights and Ahas: His partner has some core traits he wants in a partner. He feels they are at a crossroads with some important decisions to make. Emotionally, he may be half-in and half-out. He is an overthinker. He may push her away because he senses her masculinity. His partner reminds him of his mother. They have been together for three years. He feels guilty about not showing up as the man he is capable of being. He doesn't lead the relationship the way he feels he should. He is still trying to decide how to show up in the relationship. He loves his partner, Rory. He attracts "masculine" women. He has a mother wound because he feels resentful for feeling as if he was her caregiver in his childhood. A part of him may not know how to have intimacy with a woman. He fears being let down by a woman. He is tired of it being so hard to feel loved, desired, and cared for. He is craving deep intimacy with a woman. He wants to be more expressive in a relationship. He feels he needs to initiate sexual relations within the relationship. How to Get Over It and On With It: Do emotional release work and grieve the relationship he never had with his mother, at ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease. Don't make a relationship decision right now. Be open and appreciate how his partner desires him. Find passion and purpose in other areas of his life besides romance. Practice intimacy with his partner. Sponsor: Mind Doc App is an easy way to bolster your mental health and get constructive suggestions. Whether you are generally fine or struggling with something, you can answer a few questions in the Mind Doc app a few times a day and the app's algorithm provides you with an overview of your mental wellbeing. Get 50% off a 6-month subscription to the app at https://minddoc.onelink.me/D1u6/qryj27lw, and use the code CHRISTINE50 Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

The human experience is a beautiful thing, even when it's challenging. It is sacred when someone is vulnerable. Today's caller, Toni, shares her vulnerability as she asks for guidance. She reveals that many of the decisions of her life come from a place of fear. Toni is confused about what security and love really are. We talk about having a relationship with a higher power especially after she has gone through times in her life when she didn't feel there was any kind of God. There IS some kind of higher power. There are so many names for it, so many ways people interpret it, but to me, it is infinite unconditional love. It may be hard to believe in any kind of God, when there is so much suffering in the world. The best way I can attempt to understand all the horrible things that happen, is that they happen as a result of human choice and free will. While many human choices are still made from a place of pain and fear, we are in a time of awakening. We are in a massive shift in consciousness. What is available to us all, is to make the choice to see the world through spiritual eyes. See ourselves through more spiritual eyes, without judgment; to see through the eyes of infinite and unconditional love. To heal our own pain that is preventing us from feeling connected to a higher power. We are moving into more acceptance, forgiveness and gratitude. If you are craving a deeper spiritual connection, please don't wait for God to prove itself to you -- instead, open your heart, and pray to be shown the way. You are a spiritual being having a human experience. You are one. You are love. You are connected. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you feel you are operating more out of fear than faith? ● Are you making a lot of decisions with fear or self-doubt? ● Are you a people pleaser, who is afraid of disappointing people? ● Is connecting to a higher power challenging to you? If you do have a connection, would you like to deepen it? ● Are there situations in your life that make you doubt whether a God exists? Toni's Question: Toni feels all aspects of her life are affected by her making decisions from a place of fear. She would like to find a way to think more productively. x Toni's Key Insights and Aha's: ● She fears failing and disappointing people. ● Her self-worth is based on her people pleasing. ● She's confused about what security and love really are. ● She hasn't felt protected, or connected to her spirituality, since her father passed. ● She feels like she would be clearer, if she had a spiritual connection. ● She has been operating in survival mode. ● She should know she is not broken. ● She can change her relationship with herself, today. ● She can focus on her blessings, not on her fears. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should realize she can access her spirituality. ● She should start processing her pain, and remove judgment, to arrive at forgiveness and love. ● She should put herself in an environment where she can heal. ● She can start cultivating her relationship with God, by talking to him/her. Assignments and Takeaways: ● What is in your way of a connection to a higher power? ● What is keeping you in patterns of people pleasing and indecision? ● Do you have old trauma that needs to be processed? ● What beliefs may be keeping you from having beliefs? ● What religious upbringing did you have, which no longer resonates with you? ● You need to find which truth resonates with you. ● Look for a spiritual community of people who are committed to awakening, and who know we are all connected to source. ● Start to develop a relationship with your higher power. ● Pray. Pray for experiences, feelings, and pray to be shown the way. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter@christinehassler on Instagram [email protected] Over It and On With It Initial Podcast

This episode is about speaking our needs in relationships and clearing out relationships that no longer serve us. Today's caller, Josie, recently broke up with a long-term friend. She is feeling guilt around her decision. Christine reveals how friendships can be a beautiful teacher for us. We attract and draw in people in all different capacities and often friends that trigger us and reveal our issues. Yet, some friendships have expiration dates just like romantic relationships. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode363] We don't always think of friendships as a way to learn about our unresolved issues, particularly with our parents. Yet, we are always seeking to evolve and grow. Our subconscious is always at work trying to meet our needs. When we have unmet needs we look to people who seem familiar to the people who didn't meet our needs in the first place. If you have a friendship that is not working and draining you and you keep trying but it feels overwhelming, it is okay to end the friendship. It is better to end it and have a clearing and completion conversation than to make excuses and dread the person's phone call or see them when you just don't want to be their friend. It takes up a lot of energetic space and it is not kind to the other person to pretend to be their friend. Complete any friendships that are not serving you or that you have grown out of. It is OK to move on. I'm happy to announce that my next Women's Retreat will be held in Austin from October 7‒9, 2022. Go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat or listen to my Coaches Corner with Jill to get more information about this life-changing opportunity. The early-bird registration promo ends on Sept. 1, 2022. Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you recently have a breakup with a friend or are you in a friendship that may need a breakup? Do you have a friendship where you feel you can't fully be yourself or maybe the friendship feels one-sided? Have you ever thought the friends you attract are based on childhood issues? Do you feel you audition in relationships? Josie's Question: Josie recently had a breakup with a life-long friend and she is doubting her decision. Josie's Key Insights and Ahas: She recently broke up with her life-long friend. She feels guilty about her decision to break up. But she feels a sense of relief. She let others drive relationships. She feels she auditions in her relationships. She feels she needs to put her needs aside to be noticed. She feels nervous telling others how she feels. She fears abandonment in her current relationship. She feels that if she is her true self she will lose her boyfriend. In many ways, she parented her father. How to Get Over It and On With It: Do work around her father wound. Speak her needs in relationships. Let go of any relationships that no longer serve her. Takeaways: Move on from friendships that you have grown out of or that no longer serve you. Sponsor: Mind Doc App is an easy way to bolster your mental health and get constructive suggestions. Whether you are generally fine or struggling with something, you can answer a few questions in the Mind Doc app a few times a day and the app's algorithm provides you with an overview of your mental wellbeing. Get 50% off a 6-month subscription to the app at https://minddoc.onelink.me/D1u6/qryj27lw, and use the code Christine50. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Collectively we are all going through a rebalancing of masculine and feminine energies, not only in what it means to be a man or a woman, but what it means to be human. We are just moving into rebalancing this energy so masculine and feminine energies can be in flow together. While women struggle to find their place in the masculine energy, men struggle to fit into more feminine things, such as being vulnerable or pursuing more creative endeavors that may feel less manly. This is not a time to be discouraged. We are all longing for belonging and connection. This episode is about questioning the old paradigms and rules. Today's caller, Jake, thinks he is stuck, but from my point of view he is at a crossroads. Will he continue to let old programming and belief systems drive him, or will he make a commitment to move past the fear of old paradigms, and step into his full potential? During the call, I didn't want to take Jake down the road of investigating his past, because he had already spent too much time analyzing the past and worrying about the future. Jake said he had an easy-going upbringing without a lot of drama or trauma. Often, feeling that degree of comfort as a child makes it harder to take risks as an adult, because we don't have enough experiential evidence to recover from failure, risks, and things that scare us. We have to stop asking ourselves why, why, why. We don't have to self-analyze ourselves to death. We need to be aware of the patterns and self-limiting beliefs, so we can shift them. We all need to step up into our full potential, and not allow outdated paradigms hold us back. Men, it is ok to be vulnerable, to talk about your doubts, and to admit to confusion about who you are, and how to find your purpose. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you a man, or with a man, who is questioning his career path or purpose? ● Is fear something that is stopping you? ● Do you relate to sabotaging yourself? Jake 's Question: Jake feels drawn toward another career change. He wants to know how to get out of his own head to move forward. Jake 's Key Insights and Aha's: ● He is sabotaging himself. ● He has competing intentions. ● He has a propensity to not follow through. ● He battles with fear and low self-worth. ● He has time management issues. ● He has created motion toward what he wants by putting himself out there. ● He is afraid he won't live up to his full potential. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● He should invest in a coach. ● He should read The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida, and other personal development books. ● He should work on shifting his belief system and get clear about what his vision is. ● Over the next 40 days, he should do 10 things that get him out of his comfort zone. ● He should make a schedule for himself and stick to it. Assignments and Takeaways: ● Go out and engage in behavior which pulls you out of your comfort zone, to develop trust in yourself. ● Commit to rewiring your brain. Visit NeuroGym to learn more. ● Stop obsessing about what you think is a liability. ● Show up fully for yourself, be your own word. Make commitments and don't break them. If you do break them, re-negotiate and start again. Resources: Christine Hassler - Book a session to be on the show! Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram [email protected] NeuroGym

This episode is about getting the love we deserve. Today's caller, Rachel, is in an issue-based relationship with a partner who doesn't make her a priority. An issue-based relationship is when unresolved issues bring two people together. These relationships tend to be stressful, on-again-off-again, and come with anxiety, but the physical attraction is often very strong. Whether or not you are in a relationship you will get some gems from this episode. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode362] Do you want the love of your life to be someone who causes you anxiety, who doesn't make compromises for you, or who doesn't make you a priority? Don't you want better? We all deserve better than that. The problem is we get the love we think we deserve, not the love we actually deserve. Many of us find ourselves in a position where we know something isn't good for us. We know we want, and deserve better, but we just can't let it go. It's a form of addiction. It's codependency. It is having our unmet needs tickled just enough that we go back for more. But, it's not love. It's not a true connection or partnership. Something that can trip us up and make us suffer way more than we need to is when we have a rose-colored glasses tint on the way we see things. Because, when we do, we are more in love with an ideal than we are with the reality of things. When we experience a love that is not based on unresolved issues, it makes us glad we left the relationships that were based on our issues. Love that comes from a healthy place is amazing! If someone isn't going out of their way to make you a priority, it is a red flag. I'm happy to announce that my next Women's Retreat will be held in Austin from October 7‒9, 2022. Go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat or listen to my Coaches Corner with Jill to get more information about this life-changing opportunity. The early-bird registration promo ends on Sept. 1, 2022. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you with someone you call the love of your life but they are more of a teacher or trigger in your life? Are you aware your unresolved childhood issues and unmet needs could be influencing your relationship choices or the people you are attracted to? Are you good at speaking up for your needs in relationships? Do you feel you always fight to get your needs met but it never happens? Do you know you are in a relationship that isn't good for you but you can't seem to get out of it? Rachel's Question: Rachel has an on-again-off-again relationship with someone she considers the love of her life and would like guidance on. Rachel's Key Insights and Ahas: She looks outside of herself to find fulfillment. She believes her partner is the love of her life. Her partner doesn't meet her needs. She and her partner have great chemistry. Her partner reminds her of her father. She lost her family and fears losing her partner. Her partner says he can't handle her emotions. She is in an intense issue-based relationship. There are a lot of highs and lows in the relationship. Her threshold for love is based on her relationship with her father. She feels she is missing out on having a good life. She feels anxious and exhausted. How to Get Over It and On With It: Let the relationship go to break her pattern. Grieve the relationship with her partner and her father wound. Work with a coach and get an accountability partner and ask for what she needs. Pull her inner mother forward. Remind herself that this is her inner child is trying to heal her father wound. Be compassionate with herself while she finds authentic self-love. Go to the ocean and perform an emotional release ritual. Refrain from calling her current partner the love of her life. Takeaways: Awareness is not enough. Start making the changes necessary to transform. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

You are going to learn so much from this episode!! And get to listen to a live demo of Dr Schwartz doing parts work with me. Richard Schwartz began his career as a family therapist and an academic at the University of Illinois at Chicago. There he discovered that family therapy alone did not achieve full symptom relief and in asking patients why, he learned that they were plagued by what they called "parts." From these explorations with parts work, the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model was born in the early 1980s. IFS is now evidence-based and has become a widely-used form of psychotherapy, particularly with trauma. It provides a non-pathologizing, optimistic, and empowering perspective and a practical and effective set of techniques for working with individuals, couples, families, and more recently, corporations and classrooms. In 2013 Schwartz left the Chicago area and now lives in Brookline, MA where he is on the faculty of the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

This episode is about releasing grief and confusion and allowing ourselves the time and space to heal. Today's caller, Amy, is 25-plus years past when she decided to have an abortion and is triggered by everything going on with Roe vs. Wade. We talk about it as an example of how grief never really goes away. She would like guidance about how to move past her shame, guilt, and lingering grief. If you are someone who has chosen to have an abortion or had to, I hope you find comfort in this episode. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode361] Sometimes we have to slow down to speed up as we may be triggering our trauma with too much personal development work. Too much good work can trigger trauma and we may be doing too much of a good thing. When we grow up in chaos, our nervous systems become overloaded and personal development work can trigger it. Trauma is too much, too soon, too fast. When we work on ourselves too much it can trigger our trauma bell. Even though personal development is good, to our nervous system it feels like an overload and too much to process. One of the biggest tips for healing trauma is when we are in any kind of overload, we take a pause and ask ourselves what we need at the moment. It can take practice. The better we get at it the more we start to be able to get out of the trigger. When we are conditioned at operating with a hyper-aroused nervous system, pausing and pacing ourselves is the key to healing. I'm happy to announce that my next Women's Retreat will be held in Austin from October 7‒9, 2022. Go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat or listen to my Coaches Corner with Jill to get more information about this life-changing opportunity. Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you have an abortion at some point in your life and still carry around guilt and shame but are ready to let it go? Do you judge other women who have made a similar choice? Are you willing to let go of the judgment? Do you suffer from confusion and lack of clarity? Could you be doing too much personal development work? Is it working against you? Amy's Question: Amy would like some deep healing for her 16-year-old inner child who made a decision that she continues to guilt and shame herself for. Amy's Key Insights and Ahas: She completed the Inner Child Workshops 1 and 2. She had an abortion at 16. The recent Roe vs. Wade conversations trigger her. She was brought up in the Catholic religion. She wants to heal her inner child. The father of the child didn't take responsibility. She feels as if she sinned and that God will punish her. She has never fully grieved her loss. She feels she has released the soul of the baby back to the universe. She has three children. She would like clarity about her journey. She is passionate about life and confidence coaching. She feels unworthy of being a coach. She has integrity. She has beautiful things to offer people. How to Get Over It and On With It: Make a date to do the empty chair process with herself and the soul of the baby then invite her 16-year-old self into the joys of motherhood. Take a pause when she feels overwhelmed or triggered. Give herself some space and not feel as if she has to process everything at once. Keep doing the work but not in a way that overwhelms her. Takeaways: Slow down to speed up. Are you triggering your trauma with too much personal development work? Do you need to slow down and give yourself some space? Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you feel like you have a lot of awareness but things in your life are not changing…it may be time for some "experiential" work. In this episode Christine and Jill about what happens at Christine's Signature Retreat to help you discern if it's right for you. More info about the retreat here: https://christinehassler.com/signatureretreat/

This episode is about standing up for yourself in a relationship. Today's caller, Marc, feels a shift in his 20-year marriage. He is willing to work on the relationship but his wife is avoiding it. This episode is relatable to many people because we discuss why he doesn't take a stand for himself and how it takes two people to make a relationship work. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode360] Many midlife crises happen because people find themselves in a place where they can't suppress anymore. Often, their kids are older, they are set in their careers, and their life is a bit more predictable, then all of a sudden they find it difficult to suppress what they feel they have missed out on. When an individual feels they've sacrificed a lot of their life in parenthood or the like, a sense of selfishness or entitlement bubbles up and they go in the opposite direction of where they have been. And, a person who is more reactive and triggered shouldn't be leading a relationship because they will lead the relationship to a dead end. Sometimes our less obvious wounds are more impactful. A lot of time the person who holds the more feminine pole in a relationship often wants the masculine pole to lead, to come to us and let us know when things are off. I'm happy to announce that my next Women's Retreat will be held in Austin from October 7‒9, 2022. Go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat to get more information about this life-changing opportunity. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a relationship and you feel you are pulling more of the weight and are doing more of the work but your partner isn't? Are you unclear about where you stand in a relationship? Are you in limbo waiting for someone to tell you if the relationship is moving forward? Do you avoid standing up for yourself and what you want? Did you have a parent you couldn't afford to lose so you tiptoed around them and the wound is impacting your adult relationships? Marc's Question: Marc noticed a shift in his 20-year marriage. He feels as if he is in limbo. He is asking for guidance on what his next steps should be. Marc's Key Insights and Ahas: He has been married for 20 years and has two teenage kids. He feels a shift in attitude from his wife. He is going to therapy but his wife isn't. He is putting a lot of work into what steps to take next. He is not sure he wants to stay in the marriage. His wife may be premenopausal. He and his wife put the kids first over each other. His father abandoned his family when he was young. He doesn't want to continue being in limbo. He has questions to ask his wife but is afraid of what the answers may be. His wife hasn't been there for him during some difficult times. He recognizes he has some blind spots but thinks he has been a good husband. He feels unappreciated. His mother wound is affecting his relationship with his wife. How to Get Over It and On With It: Realize he is a constant reminder of the things his wife isn't facing. He deserves clarity from his wife. Stand up for himself and the marriage. Work with his inner child and let him know that he will be okay, no matter what happens. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Control is something we all struggle with. We think we have 100% control over life, but we don't. We do have choices and dominion but we don't have total control. Our egos like to have certainty and to have a plan, which is rooted in fear. It is scary not to know what is coming next. If we try to control every aspect of our lives, we often miss out on all the beautiful opportunities the universe has for us. Sometimes the opportunities come in the form of challenges, which are not to punish or test us but to help us grow. During these times it is important that we do not go into victim mode. It is also important that when we go through uncertainty we don't try to immediately fill up that space with something new. Sometimes we just have to sit in the discomfort of uncertainty to see what it is there for to teach us. If we don't deal with our Expectation Hangovers they will keep repeating and the same types of disappointments will keep coming up. It's OK if you don't have it all figured out. A quarter-life crisis is normal. It is the time when many of us step into our personal life journey. Challenges are what build our grit and character. I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 3 reservations left. E-mail [email protected] for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you having a quarter-life crisis or an Expectation Hangover? Are things not going according to plan? Do you relate to living off a checklist? If things don't get checked off are you hard on yourself? Is external achievement and validation important to you? Are there things you say you are surrendered about but you're not? Are you still trying to make things happen or have you just resigned? Frankie's Question: Frankie would like to know how to move into a place of acceptance about where she is in her life. Frankie's Key Insights and Aha's: She has a should list and a checklist in her head She has a deep strength within her Her identity comes from what she can achieve She is hard on herself more than she is compassionate Love for her is connected to validation and praise How to get over it and on with it: She should consider who she would be at 49 if her life had no struggles She can pray without asking for something Her self-talk needs to move towards love and acceptance She can delve deeper in her spiritual practice She should update her story about who she is supposed to be Assignments and Takeaways: Listen to my story in my very first Over It and On With It Process your emotions through release writing and the temper tantrum technique in Expectation Hangover. Do not pray for things but pray to be shown the way. Be nice to yourself. Ditch your checklist. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E–book Expectation Hangover 20 Something 20 Everything @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram [email protected] [email protected]

This episode is about making a big decision. Today's caller, Catherine, is considering moving in with her boyfriend but isn't sure whether or not she is ready. She would like guidance on how to make a big decision. We discuss how she can use the intuitive decision-making process to become clear about what she wants and the learning opportunities of relationships. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode359] When we feel that we have to make every decision on our own, it can keep us from speaking our needs in relationships. To break the pattern of feeling like you have to do everything on your own requires speaking your needs and asking for help and support. In the masculine-feminine dynamic when we are doing things on our own, not in collaboration, we can lean a bit too much into our masculine energy. It is important to stretch ourselves, but not stretch ourselves so much that we snap. If we want continued progress in our life we stretch ourselves just enough where we feel the stretch but we don't snap. An issue-based relationship is where the chemistry is really hot and heavy early on but what is really attracting the partners is unresolved issues. You may find yourself attracted to someone who is like your mother or father or who triggers your insecurities or biggest wounds. We tend to draw in relationships that have tons of red flags but the passion and chemistry keep us going back for more. The learning opportunity of issue-based relationships is to heal the wound that attracts us to a person in the first place. I'm happy to announce that my next Women's Retreat will be held in Austin from October 7‒9, 2022. Go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat to get more information about this life-changing opportunity. Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there a big decision you are considering making? Do you want to make a change but you don't know if it's too extreme or a great challenge? Are you someone who likes to have certainty in your life? In a relationship, have you tried to change the other person rather than taking full responsibility for how you are showing up? Catherine's Question: Catherine would like guidance about her relationship and about whether or not she should move in with her partner. Catherine's Key Insights and Ahas: She has been dating her partner for five months. She is concerned about the stability of the relationship. Her intuition is nudging her to take an adventure. She and her partner live hours apart. The relationship has been a bit rocky. She changed her expectations of men after research. She is unsure about how to lean into her femininity. She is afraid to trust. There is a lot of change presenting itself to her. She is learning things during her decision-making process. She tends to make all-or-nothing decisions. She is looking to take responsibility for her part in the relationship. She is ready to receive love. How to Get Over It and On With It: Do the intuitive decision-making process and listen to her body. Make agreements with her partner about how they will live together. Clean up her end of the relationship. Sponsor: Cured — Would you like to feel plugged in without an extra cup of coffee or two? RISE is formulated by an in-house herbalist and is all about getting an extra boost of energy. To help you stay laser-focused on your goals and reduce your caffeine intake, RISE includes Lion's Mane & Cordyceps mushrooms, ginseng, broad-spectrum CBD, and more. Go to Curednutrition.com/OVERIT and use the promo code OVERIT at check out for 20% off. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Do you exhibit a type of behavior or personality trait you don't necessarily love about yourself? It could be moodiness or it could be being extremely judgmental or it could be an emotional state you have a tendency to default to like sadness, worry, anger or fear. Women often have a difficult time dealing with anger because we have not been encouraged to express it. We may default to sadness which limits us from reaching our passion and our fire. We suppress our emotions and any big emotion we suppress will eventually leak. Anger becomes irritability, sadness becomes depression and shame comes out as insecurity. Suppressed emotions can also lead to physical ailments. It is not healthy to suppress our emotions. Today's caller Monica acknowledges her own moodiness and is wondering if it is something she can change or if it's a fixed personality trait. She suppresses her anger and doesn't speak her truth. If there is something about you that does not feel good to you, like moodiness, you can change it. You just need to uncover why it's there in the first place. Moodiness can be a messenger that you may be suppressing pent up anger and frustration. It is liberating to express your anger and be free of the moodiness. I invite all of you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail [email protected] for information on how to join the festivities or to join me in Los Angeles in July for my signature retreat. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Is there something about you that you would like to change? Is it an inherent part of your personality or do you believe you can change it? Are you willing to do the work to change it? ● Do you experience times when you are irritable or snap at someone? How do you express your anger? ● Do you feel self-expressed? Do you fully feel your feelings? Monica's Question: Monica recognizes she is a moody person and would like to know if she is able to shift out of it or if it is part of her personality. Monica's Key Insights and Aha's: ● Her moodiness stems from suppressing her anger ● When she speaks her truth she feels shut down ● She has trouble expressing herself ● She doesn't like conflict ● She becomes the victim, as a coping strategy How to get over it and on with it: ● Realize her irritability and bluntness are actually inner anger leaking out ● She should do the Temper Tantrum technique and 32 days of the Release Writing technique, which are in her copy of Expectation Hangover ● She should step away from the conversation and get her anger out, on her own Tools and Takeaways: ● Identify the ways you may be leaking. Know where you are suppressing and how you may be expressing it in other ways. ● If you sense you may have anger you have yet to acknowledge, start Release Writing. ● Work through the emotional section of Expectation Hangover, in particular, the Adult Temper Tantrum and Release Writing techniques. ● Speak your truth and process your raw feelings to eliminate suppression. Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter@christinehassler on Instagram [email protected] [email protected]

This episode is about understanding why we do the things we do and how to heal. Today's caller, Donna, endured traumatic experiences as a child. She eats for comfort because she was not nurtured or prioritized as a child. People don't start emotionally eating if they grew up in a family where they felt safe to express their emotions. We talk about two great actionable tools you can use if you struggle with emotional or binge eating, or not feeling like you have worth. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode358] Every little child needs to feel nurtured and soothed when they have feelings. When we have a super-traumatized part of ourselves we need to figure out a way to flood the system with a sensory experience. Some people choose drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, and some choose food. Food offers a flood of sensory experiences so it helps to keep the trauma hidden. It is amazing how much we judge ourselves for the challenges we have. We often don't understand why it is not easy to change or do things differently when what we are doing is completely reasonable based on our trauma. It's not that it is okay to use trauma as a scapegoat for the rest of our lives, however, we must acknowledge our story and understand that, of course, we are dealing with things the way we do. We must have compassion for ourselves before we can change. No one has ever healed in the energy of judgment. No one has ever healed by beating the crap out of themselves. No one has ever healed believing they are still broken. We want to honor and acknowledge our past and understand that it makes sense that it is difficult or harder for us to change. The only way to break out of the pattern of not feeling like we are a priority is to find the source, then perform the daily practice of looking in the mirror, being present with ourselves, and saying I love you. The Inner Child workshop is a tool that helps us reconnect with our little one and facilitates healing. Find the recorded version of the Inner Child workshop here. Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you grow up in a household where you could express your feelings or did you have to swallow your feelings? Do you struggle with binge or emotional eating? Do you use food to comfort or soothe? Is it hard for you to make yourself a priority? Are you there for everyone else but not there for yourself? Were you truly mothered? Donna's Question: Donna would like guidance on how to make herself a priority. Donna's Key Insights and Ahas: She has difficulty prioritizing herself because she never felt she was a priority. She uses food to manage her emotions. Her mother attempted suicide when she was young. She was physically abused at a daycare facility. She lost her brother when she was thirteen. She has very few conscious memories of her youth. Her memories have manifested as nightmares. She leaned on her sister to make her feel safe. She is searching for comfort. Food has been her mother in many ways. Her mother passed away last year. She missed out on nurture. She is a people-pleaser. She mothers herself by giving herself pep talks. She doesn't nurture herself. Her mother never told her she loved her. She has everything she needs within. She is not broken. How to Get Over It and On With It: Rephrase how she describes her eating for comfort. When she becomes aware she is eating for comfort, grab her cuddle bear and imagine herself as a child. Tell herself every day that she is loved. Sponsor: Cured — Would you like to feel plugged in without an extra cup of coffee, or two? RISE is formulated by an in-house herbalist and is all about getting an extra boost of energy. To help you stay laser-focused on your goals and reduce your caffeine intake, RISE includes Lion's Mane & Cordyceps mushrooms, ginseng, broad-spectrum CBD, and more. Go to Curednutrition.com/OVERIT and use the promo code OVERIT at check out for 20% off. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about asking for what you need in relationships. Today's caller, Megan, feels overwhelmed when faced with too many choices and is afraid to be truly seen. She doesn't want her pattern of uncertainty to sabotage her new relationship. Like in many coaching sessions, her initial question isn't exactly what we focus on. This is for anyone who has trouble making decisions, doubts themselves, or is in sabotaging patterns. For empaths, love can feel overwhelming because we love so deeply. When we are in a relationship it can feel smothering and overwhelming. Instead of communicating that we need boundaries and space with love we are often afraid of confrontation or don't want to make the other person upset. So, we unconsciously push them away by either judging them internally, nitpicking, or acting out in other ways. Empaths need to know what they need — especially at the beginning of the relationship. When you are first dating someone you need to be vocal and ask for what you need. Boundaries in a relationship and asking for what you need is important. That way you don't have to build walls. You can have a door and that door can be open most of the time but sometimes you need to shut it and put on the do not disturb sign. The people in your life that love you will understand. It will allow them to spend time with themselves. When our heart is broken either through a breakup or the death of someone, we want to love again but we are scared because it feels risky. Fear of making the wrong decision will keep you from making the decision. Basically, fear complicates everything in your life. The more you can drop into love and your inner knowing and move out of the energy of fear the more clarity you will have in all aspects of your life. I am a proud sponsor of B-school which is an online training program for modern entrepreneurs taught by Marie Forleo. When you register through my link you will receive special bonuses from me. I include four group coaching calls of 90 min each, four custom meditations for entrepreneurs, access to my Facebook group, a one day retreat, plus free access to my master class for coaches. Go to ChristineHassler.com/bschool or email [email protected] for more information. For free training videos from Marie go to ChristineHassler.com/training.

This episode is about taking the action steps to get out of a toxic relationship. Today's caller, Sara, grew up in a traumatic home and recently broke up from a severely toxic relationship. She has such a high tolerance for trauma and toxicity, she hesitates to take the logistical action steps needed to remove herself and her daughter from the toxic environment. It may be difficult to listen to but you will also hear her strength, heart, and resilience. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode357] It can be hard to see how unhealthy a relationship is when we have a high tolerance for abusive behavior. When we are in situations that trigger trauma, it is tricky because oftentimes, there are action steps we need to take to change the real-world reality of things. We have to put our deeper healing aside for the moment and take immediate action. It is hard to make rational decisions when we are emotionally triggered. Allowing other people to tell us we are damaged or to tell us what our issues are is toxic behavior. We don't need someone else to tell us that we are not healed or are broken. Whatever someone projects onto us is a reflection of their issues. This behavior is abusive and gaslighting. It is a massive red flag! Don't let them take your power away. No one has the authority to evaluate your wholeness or issues. If there is someone in your life who is doing that to you, RUN! Coaches — When someone is in a breakup situation that involves legal stuff and needs protection, it is not the time to do deep somatic trauma work on their childhood. When someone doesn't feel safe in their immediate situation their nervous system isn't regulated, there is a fine line between guiding people towards their own answers and getting a strong feeling to give direct feedback. A coach's job is to do a little bit of both. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you shoulda/coulda/woulding all over yourself? Is there something that happened in your past you wish could be different now? Are you beating yourself up with "What Ifs"? Did you have a traumatic childhood and are you repeating it in your adult life? Do you think you may be in a toxic or unhealthy relationship? Do you see yourself as broken or allow yourself to be told who you are? Sara's Question: Sara is going through a brutal breakup after three years together with an unhealthy, controlling person. She would like guidance on how to move forward in her life. Sara's Key Insights and Ahas: This is her first serious relationship. She believed her ex to be her forever relationship. They have a child together. She feels she brought toxicity into the relationship based on her past. Her ex is 20 years older than she is. Her ex is very controlling and expects perfection. She had mental breakdowns during the relationship. She doesn't have much support because maintains distance from her family. She doesn't have a history of mental breakdowns. She had postpartum depression. There is gaslighting and narcissism in the relationship. She has lost herself in this relationship. She feels stuck and doesn't have many resources at her disposal. She has wounds that create low-self worth. She allows other people to degrade her. She had spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical abuse in her childhood. She has PTSD when it comes to transitions. She feels like a hopeless prisoner in her relationship. She has an opportunity to live with a friend. How to Get Over It and On With It: Change the way she sees the breakup to consider it a relief that she is getting out of a toxic relationship. Acknowledge her strength and know she is not broken. Realize there is nothing she could have done to change the situation. Stop wasting time ruminating over what could be and start thinking about what she will do for herself and her baby. Reach out to her friend for logistical support. Play offensively, take charge, and have her boundaries up. Continue to work with a therapist and advocates who can help her make sound decisions when she is emotionally triggered. Sponsor: Cured — Would you like to feel plugged in without an extra cup of coffee, or two? RISE is formulated by an in-house herbalist and is all about getting an extra boost of energy. To help you stay laser-focused on your goals and reduce your caffeine intake, RISE includes Lion's Mane & Cordyceps mushrooms, ginseng, broad-spectrum CBD, and more. Go to Curednutrition.com/OVERIT and use the promo code OVERIT at check out for 20% off. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certifi

This episode is about never feeling good enough and always looking for what could go wrong. Today's caller, Dana, didn't have her needs met as a child and built a protective pattern to help her cope with her abandonment wound. We work through ways to calm her nervous system and feel safe when asking for what she needs. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode356] Whether or not you grew up in a house where you felt like your needs were not met, all of us can relate to feeling not good enough, or the feeling that things in our lives are not good enough. Or, we can be either incredibly critical of ourselves or other people. We get ourselves into a vicious cycle. When we have unmet needs, especially if we were raised in a way where we couldn't have an outburst, had to be the good kid, or had to keep it together, it caused us to keep stuff inside. Those of us who had to withhold a lot as children can be mean to people internally but when it comes to saying something externally, we cower. When we have awareness about one of our protective patterns, we don't want to expect that we are immediately going to change it. That would just set us up for an Expectation Hangover and offer us more opportunities to beat ourselves up. The purpose of personal development is not an overnight transformation. As evolving human beings, personal transformation is more about gaining awareness. We can spot the patterns we fall into and then work with ourselves while we are in the pattern. True transformation comes when we find ourselves in the trigger, habit, or reaction and we become aware we are in it then, we choose differently. My next Women's Retreat will be held in Austin on October 7‒9, 2022. I will post the website and open enrollment soon! Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have the feeling of never feeling good enough? Do you constantly look for what is wrong in a situation, or what could go wrong, and have a hard time finding peace and joy in what is? Did you grow up in a house where your needs were not met and you have a hard time communicating your needs now? Do you have a hard time being present and slowing down? Are you always thinking of what you have to do next? Dana's Question: Dana would like to understand why no matter what she does or achieves it never feels enough. Dana's Key Insights and Ahas: She is an achiever and is viewed as blessed. She finds fault with her husband in almost everything he does. She is always thinking about what comes next. She has an abandonment wound from her alcoholic father. Her mother was very young and always working. She over-achieves as a protective pattern. As a child, she always wanted to be accepted, heard, and understood. She looks for what is wrong so she can prepare for it. She has never had her needs met and is a bit angry because of it. She is afraid to trust the good things in her life. She is waiting for her partner to disappoint her. There is an intimacy-affection need that is not being met in her relationship. She needs a strong circle of friends around her. She doesn't feel worthy of friendship and connectedness. She craves intimacy. She doesn't know how to celebrate success. She holds a lot of tension and is often on edge. How to Get Over It and On With It: Work with her protective pattern and know it is safe to trust the good in her life. Practice opening her heart and being less judgmental of herself. Focus on contentment and allow herself a moment to relax and feel relief in the moment. Breathe love into her heart and belly and tell herself she is safe. Bring conscious awareness to what she needs. Sponsor: Cured — If you feel anxiety or that it is hard to go to sleep, you may want to give Zen a try. Zen is formulated by an in-house herbalist and is all about being calm and relaxed. To help you sleep and regulate your nervous system, Zen includes Reishi mushrooms, magnesium, CBD, and more. Go to Curednutrition.com/OVERIT and use the promo code OVERIT at check out for 20% off. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Guest on Getting Unstuck with Jillian Michaels

This episode is about opening our hearts by diving deep into our grief. Today's caller, Sarah, lost her father unexpectedly. It was not the way she planned to go through the transition. She is moving through grief and feels resistance to grief. We talk about how she can receive more support and know that she doesn't have to do it on her own. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode355] The reality that our parents will die is something we all know. But, as it gets closer it is difficult to deal with. Whenever we have a looming feeling that something is close, we grasp onto anything that makes us feel like we have some sense of control. We all have our coping strategies to bypass our feelings. Going into our feelings can make us feel out of control. How do we feel more in control? We control. This is a strategy that is rewarded because when we control things we are seen as productive, and efficient. But we don't give ourselves the grace to fall apart and we need to fall apart sometimes. Often, it is in the falling apart that we crack our heart open to fully grieve and truly feel what we need to feel so we are not suppressing, which causes disease within our body and spirit. The more we don't allow ourselves to fall into the sea of grief, the more we are treading water, it seems like we are functioning; there is always a low-level suppression so, over time, it does impact us. When we have a way to swim through the sea of grief and we have markers, it doesn't feel as daunting. Consider/Ask Yourself: Did something happen that didn't go the way you planned and you're having a hard time accepting it? Have you recently lost a parent or someone close to you or are you anticipating the loss of a parent soon? Do you attempt to control, plan, and strategize things when you feel helpless or that you don't know what to do? Are you afraid of grief because you think it is a pit you will fall into and never be able to get out? Sarah's Question: Sarah is experiencing grief because her father passed somewhat unexpectedly but is not allowing herself to fully feel it. Sarah's Key Insights and Ahas: She prepared for her father's passing for years. She feels he was ripped away from her. Control is a coping strategy for her. Her father never wanted to be a burden. She didn't want her father to suffer. She blames herself when she doesn't get the results she wants. How to Get Over It and On With It: Release her need for control. Honor the love she felt for her father by fully allowing herself to grieve. Tell people she needs time to grieve and be open to their support. When she drops into grief, play the song she and her father connected with. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dr. Judith Orloff is a New York Times bestselling author, psychiatrist and is on the UCLA psychiatric clinical faculty. Dr. Orloff specializes in treating empaths and sensitive people in her Los Angeles based private practice. Judith Orloff MD asserts that we are keepers of an innate intuitive intelligence so perceptive that it can tell us how to heal — and prevent — illness. Yet intuition and spirituality are the very aspects of our wisdom usually disenfranchised from traditional health care. Dr. Orloff's latest book "The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People" (Sounds True, 2017) is an invaluable resource to help sensitive people of all kinds develop healthy coping mechanisms in our high-stimulus world without experiencing compassion fatigue or burnout. Empaths can then fully embody their gifts of intuition, creativity, and compassion. Dr. Orloff's work has been featured all over the world in various media outlets. You can learn more about at www.drjudithorloff.com.

This episode is about how to get over heartbreak and open ourselves up to love again. Today's caller, Gabriella, went through a recent breakup and wants guidance on how she can trust herself to not have her heart broken again. We never want to enter any situation hoping that what happened in the past doesn't happen again. We discuss ways she can release her fears and open up to love to have a tender experience. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode354] When we have a heartbreak, we tend to look at how we can prevent it in the future, but that is a limiting way to look at it. Instead, we can consider how we can leverage the heartbreak and heartache to open our hearts up even more. After a breakup, ask yourself proactive questions such as: What did you learn from the relationship? Who do you want to be, in a relationship? What do you need in a relationship? What are the red flags you may have overlooked? How did you show up in the relationship that you don't want to duplicate? What values do you have? We learn to trust ourselves by taking care of ourselves. If you feel you need an extra layer of support so you don't fall into the same hole twice, allow yourself a misstep or two. If trusting yourself is hard, take steps to make it easier. Take baby steps. If you are nervous about making the same mistake twice or opening your heart again, think about the action steps you need to put in place so that you feel safer. When it comes to love, it is risky sometimes. We cannot prevent getting hurt. Love is tender but the risk is worth it. The reward of opening your heart and finding an aligned partnership or friendship is worth any risk. If you feel that something is missing in your life you may be focusing too much on what's missing and not paying enough attention or gratitude to what you have. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you going through a breakup or maybe haven't gotten over one from your past? Do you not trust yourself when it comes to making the right decision when it comes to your next relationship? Are you romanticizing your past relationship or are you a hopeless romantic? What do you believe the purpose of a romantic relationship is? Gabriella's Question: Gabriella would like guidance on how to listen to her intuition, trust herself, and keep her heart open to a new relationship. Gabriella's Key Insights and Ahas: She was in an intense relationship that ended recently. She believed her past partner was THE one. She is afraid of future heartbreak. She was blindsided and deeply hurt. She is in the beginning stages of her life. She became more self-aware and grew because of the breakup. She is a bit of a hopeless romantic. She had an inner child abandonment wound. She does inner child work and it helps. She is aware of her anxious attachment style. She doesn't trust herself completely. She fears leaving people behind as she grows. She took some months away from dating. She loves being in love and partnership. She is in the middle of a career change. The ending of the relationship has been a catalyst for her breakthroughs. She understands that she is not in control and to go into new things with an open heart and open eyes. How to Get Over It and On With It: Write a letter, something tangible, to herself about her red flags and share it with someone she trusts and ask them to hold her accountable. Make dating a discovery process about herself and the other person. Be grateful for the experience, do the healing, and move forward. Takeaways: If you are going through a breakup or transition, consider the questions you are asking yourself and challenge yourself. Are they productive questions? Are they getting you anywhere? If you relate to being a hopeless romantic, take off your rose-colored glasses. Redefine what your definition of romance is. Remember, we may outgrow certain people. But it opens us up to meet people who are more aligned and more in the right vibration. Write out a plan of all the things you learned and the red flags you ignored. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

The heart of this coaching session is about self-compassion. Steve has been in his masculine and repressing his pain for much of his life. Another level of his pain is surfacing and that's because his unconscious knows he is ready to deal with it. If you are at a point in your life where you feel like you have done a lot of personal growth work but pain is resurfacing in your life you do not want to miss this episode. It takes a lot of energy to repress pain. And, that's why it feels hard to move forward in our lives, it feels hard to get a career off the ground, or to connect in relationships because we are unconsciously suppressing a lot of pain. Pain wants to come up and out. Our bodies don't want to hold terrible memories or trauma inside. Our unconscious mind wants to let it go. So, it continues to make us feel uncomfortable until we deal with it. Not just mentally, but emotionally as well. It may be difficult to go back and to feel the pain of your childhood but you are feeling it anyway, 24/7 — it is just repressed. It is healthier to go into it and feel it fully with self-compassion so it can come up and out. When pain doesn't have a way to express with compassion, it sits inside you dormant and continues to drive your choices and behaviors. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel like you have hit a point where things were going well but old stuff started to come up? If you are a man, do you have difficulty feeling vulnerable? Do you judge it as weakness? Is vulnerability awkward for you? Maybe, it's OK for others to be vulnerable but it's hard for you? Do you trust yourself? Do you trust your decisions? Do you feel safe with your pain? Do you find yourself jumping to forgiveness too quickly? Are you able to mentally understand and justify things that have happened in your life but you notice the pain is still there? Steve's Question: Steve is struggling with worrying about what other people think of him for what he believes to be the first time in his life. Steve's Key Insights and Ahas: He's always had to prove himself. He has tried to be different his entire life. He joined a gang as a teenager. He hasn't forgiven himself for betraying himself. His experience built loyalty. He is able to relate to many different types of people. He has a warrior spirit. His girlfriend was murdered. He didn't have a relationship with his father. He is in the process of up-leveling. He wants to eliminate his pain completely. How to Get Over It and On With It: He needs to quit judging himself and create a space to be vulnerable. He needs to trust himself more. He needs to spend time feeling his feelings. He needs to do the emotional section of Expectation Hangover. He should write down what being a loving father to himself looks like. Sponsors: Express — No time for an outfit change after work? Express rewrites the rules of dressing for a job, with style by delivering fashion-forward essentials to your door. Express has pants, work tops, dresses, and more. Listeners to Over It and On With It will receive $25 off when you spend $100 by using the code 'Christine' at checkout. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Watch Christine Hassler on YouTube — Hit Subscribe! Christine's Personal Mastery Course Expectation Hangover Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Christine's Books @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram [email protected] — If you want to be a guest on this show.

This episode is about understanding why we have uncertainty when making decisions. Today's caller, Kathy, wants to know how to make a decision about something important to her. She is hesitating and feels that it has been a pattern throughout her life. We discuss what in her past may have caused her hesitancy and how to clear the blocks she has around making decisions. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode353] When we feel we don't know what to do, or we don't feel like making a decision at the moment, it actually is a decision. Oftentimes, we beat ourselves up when we feel we should decide something and we become frustrated that we can't decide. Our pause, and the not knowing, is the window of time we need to get clarity. Many of us agonize over making a decision about whether it will be right or wrong. We may feel panic when a certain subject comes up. And, when panic comes up, it is often because of that unspoken fear. But, whenever we have trouble making decisions it usually means we don't trust our inner wisdom. If we trusted ourselves fully, we wouldn't agonize over the decision-making process. Everyone to some degree agonizes over decisions from time to time, especially big decisions. It may be that we resist making a decision about marriage and/or children because our family of origin wounds are still raw. Our inner child may not be ready to get into that trauma again. We may think it is our present-day self that is feeling the resistance or lack of excitement, but it is our inner child that is feeling it. If your head is making your decisions, you will make decisions from a place of fear. If you make decisions from the heart, it is the heart's job to make decisions from love. The head keeps us safe. But when we play it too safe, we block love and we don't get to see what is possible. Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there a conversation, question, or thought that brings up panic or anxiety for you? Do you want something in your life but are scared of it? As a child, did you have a lot of opportunities to make decisions, or were your decisions made for you? Were you sheltered or protected? Do you trust yourself to make a choice and to deal with the consequences? Kathy's Question: Kathy feels she may be making some decisions out of fear and would like guidance about how to trust in her decision-making process. Kathy's Key Insights and Ahas: When conversations concerning marriage and children come about she is resisting talking about them. She doesn't trust her decision-making process. She was sheltered as a child. She didn't have to work through big issues. She may have a rigid personality pattern. She has made decisions on a whim. She has a fierce inner critic. She is worried about making the wrong decision. Her parents respected and loved each other. She is clear that she wants a family. She and her partner come from different backgrounds. She worries about the compromises she may have to make in the future. She fears her partner is not being honest about where he wants to live. She may be withholding information from her partner about how she feels. How to Get Over It and On With It: Listen to the Coaches Corner with Steven Kessler about the Five Personality Patterns. Turn her concerns into curiosity. Be okay with not knowing what to do. Speak with her partner about her true feelings. Don't focus on what may go wrong when she makes a decision. Let her head and heart work together. Open your heart to possibilities. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about being your authentic self and speaking your truth. I coach today's caller, Judy, through her feelings of isolation, and empower her to have an honest conversation with her husband, and herself, about her needs. Loneliness is an epidemic, especially in this day and age when so many of us live alone. We are not close to our family geographically, or we don't have a soul family or community to be a part of. We need a healing connection. We need to feel part of something, part of a tribe. We need to feel connected to ourselves. What often perpetuates a feeling of loneliness is a disconnection to ourselves that comes from judging ourselves and being hard on ourselves. If you suffer from loneliness or a lack of self-esteem you are not alone. Let the fact that you are not alone motivate you to gain confidence and to connect with a community. Speaking your truth is when you say what's true for you, and you are able to communicate your needs. When are you not speaking your truth? Many of us think people pleasing is a way to get love and find validation. We think if people see the real us, they may not like us. The more you show the real you, and the more authentic you are, your relationship with yourself will improve, your self-esteem will improve, and the intimacy and connection you have with other people will also improve. It's great to make other people happy but it's more important to please ourselves first, by making self-honoring choices. People pleasing could be the reason you are feeling isolated. On some level, people pleasing is draining. Drop the people pleasing, up your self-esteem by making self-honoring choices and get out there and find your tribe! Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel isolated? Are you craving more connection? Are you in a marriage or relationship where you feel isolated? Do you feel like you are dependent on your partner or you are living according to their dreams and desires more than your own? Are you a people pleaser? Do you have a hard time making your needs a priority? Do you find it challenging to speak your truth? Judy's Question: Judy wants to know how to find herself and how to raise her self-esteem. Judy's Key Insights and Ahas: She has been continuously moving for a year. Her husband tries to support her but he doesn't really get it. Her husband has a stronger personality than she does. She's dependent on her husband and doesn't go places on her own. She always puts other people first. She has a hard time saying no. She takes care of people, hoping it will help to build intimacy. How to Get Over It and On With It: She should be honest and vulnerable with her husband about her feelings. She should speak up when she feels she wants to say something. She should lean more into authenticity and less into people pleasing. She should spend some time on her own engaging with other people. Takeaways: If you are in a relationship with the opposite sex, and would like to improve your masculine/feminine communication dynamics, consider studying the subject more. If you are feeling isolated, start with a goal of talking to five new people every day, and then build on that number. Start getting yourself out there and finding your tribe. Speak your truth authentically. If you have trouble doing it, join the Inner Circle community. Authenticity is this month's area of focus. Communicate your needs to the most important people in your life. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Inner Circle Membership Community @ChristinHassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram [email protected] Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life, by Christine Hassler The Queen's Code, by Alison A. Armstrong Understand Men PAX Program by Alison Armstrong David Deida

This episode is about embodying the personal development work we do. Today's caller, Dominique, would like to have a relationship with her sister. There is a lot of family history and many things have happened between them. She wants a closer relationship but her sister is not doing the work. We discuss ways she can not take things personally and how she can be the change she wants to see. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode352] When we are learning about ourselves and digging up old wounds, going back to the source is intense. Everything can feel amplified and we tend to be more sensitive to triggers, especially around our family. Personal development is not an overnight process and we need to look at triggers as opportunities for growth. When we constantly want people to be different, we are constantly disappointed and triggered. We waste time and energy that we could be spending doing our own work. We create the possibility of people being different when we are different. When we are the change we want to see. It is the best advertisement for anyone to want a different relationship with us. When we say yes to being any kind of facilitator, coach, or therapist any time we work with people's emotions and their past, all of our stuff comes forward. We have to show up in a way that is embodied to help others. You can read all the books and read all the theories but until you do the work and embody it, how are you going to help people? Mark October 7‒9, 2022 on your calendar as I am called to facilitate another Women's Signature Retreat! It will be in Austin, Texas. More details to follow. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a dynamic where you want a more vulnerable, deeper connection but the other person isn't? Do you continue to be triggered in certain family situations or a relationship dynamic? Does someone make you feel rejected, judged, or dismissed? Are you doing the work and feel as if you had made progress but then, when with your family, you get triggered? Dominique's Question: Dominique gets triggered by her sister. She would like to share a deeper connection with her but is not sure how to get there. Dominique's Key Insights and Ahas: She is in grad school to become a therapist. She has faced her childhood trauma and the toxic dynamic within her family. She has been a people-pleaser. She had a psychological and spiritual awakening. She is the middle child in an immigrant family. Her younger sister patronizes her and disrespects her. She craves attention and love from her sister. She has more awareness than her sister. Her inner child gets defensive and she retreats inside herself. How to Get Over It and On With It: Accept that her sister's soul may not be ready to do the deep work. Do not take her sister's actions personally and honor her boundaries. Ask her sister for clarity about the things she says while maintaining a high vibration. Set an intention to find her soul sisters. Let her sister see her be loving and embodying the change she would like to see. Be gentle with herself during this process. Perform a ritual to ground herself before meeting with her family. Remove expectations of herself and others and accept where everyone is. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Guest on The Optimal Body Podcast: Calling in the One with Christine Hassler