Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This episode is about changing your role in a chaotic family. Today's caller, Julia, is a highly sensitive person with amazing gifts. She is at a choice point about how she wants to use them. She is looking for permission to pursue her life through authentic expression. Many relate to the feeling of conflict between familial obligations and pursuing your soul's journey. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode301] Ultimately, we do not know why our souls choose our families. But, we often come into families and family systems to break generational patterns. And, many of us experience family conflict if we are here to break generational patterns. Part of our soul's journey is to not repeat the patterns. But, it is tricky because there's an inner child piece that still wants to be loved and accepted by the family. It can be hard because we love the family and it feels like a betrayal to go and do our own thing. One of the biggest gifts we can give our families is to embody and demonstrate what healthy looks like or what breaking patterns looks like. Not playing a role in the family can give other members a chance to get out of their roles. From the outside, breaking generational patterns can appear as mean or selfish. But, what we do allows everyone else the freedom to change their roles. We teach the most through our actions. If you have been wanting to join my Personal Mastery Course but just haven't done it yet, now is a great time to sign up. On July 8, 2021, there will be a one-day event including personal coaching from me. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Mastery to join. The call will be recorded if you cannot make it live and you will have this course for life. Interested in a Breathwork and Meditation Course, including anger release? Go to ChristineHassler.com/breathwork. Consider/Ask Yourself Are you a highly sensitive person or empath? Did you grow up in a house where you didn't feel understood? Did you grow up around a lot of chaos? Is there a lot of family, social, or work drama where you tend to be the anchor? Do you calm everyone down but then feel drained? Is there something you want to pursue but you feel you would be betraying people if you follow your soul's calling? Julia's Question: Julia feels she can't escape her family's chaos and would like guidance on how to grow in life without allowing her family drama to hold her back. Julia's Key Insights and Ahas: She is a highly sensitive person who is part of a chaotic family. Her father was physically abusive. Her mother suffered from panic attacks. Her older sister has bipolar disorder. She feels caught up in her family's drama. She is pursuing acting opportunities. She is in a relationship and considering having a family but doesn't want to pass on a generational pattern. She has a desire to be creative. She feels like a crutch for her sister. Taking care of her family is not her calling. She is resilient. She dishonors herself when she gets caught up in the family drama. She wants to channel her energy in more productive ways. How to Get Over It and On With It: Prioritize herself. Process her feelings. Pursue her life through creativity. Tell little Julia her family is not her responsibility. Set boundaries to protect her energy. Takeaways: Do you relate to being a highly sensitive person and the gifts that come with it? Are you allowing your energy to be depleted or do you use your gift in a generative way? Are you in a situation where you take over responsibility for your family and you are in a conflict between what the inner child and soul want? Consider the generational patterns you are breaking in your family. Do not come from guilt and obligation when interacting with your family. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — When was the last time you treated yourself to a perfectly fitted new bra or sleepwear? Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite bra from the limited edition summer style collection and vacation-ready designs. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

I got so much incredible feedback on the last CC we did on boundaries that I wanted to bring on another amazing, super informative expert. Nedra Glover Tawwab joins me today who is a licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert, has practiced relationship therapy for twelve years and is the founder and owner of the group therapy practice Kaleidoscope Counseling. She has been recently featured in TheNew York Times, The Guardian, Psychology Today, Self, and Vice, and has appeared on numerous podcasts, including Don't Keep Your Day Job, Do theThing, and Therapy for Black Girls. Tawwab runs a popular Instagram account where she shares practices, tools, and reflections for mental health and hosts weekly Q&As about boundaries and relationships. She lives in Charlotte,North Carolina, with her family. Her new book is Set Boundaries, Find Peace.

This episode is about releasing addictive patterns by remembering the love within us. Today's caller, Linda, recently ended an on-again-off-again two-year relationship. She questions which wounds are causing her patterns. We discuss her soul's journey, how she is not broken, and how she can help herself feel safe, seen, and loved. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode300] It is often unresolved issues from our past hurts, wounds, and things that were hard to go through that impacted our beliefs, attachment style, trauma response, and psyche. However, it is important not to see ourselves as wounded or broken. Personal development is best addressed as a learning opportunity, not from a fix-it mindset. When we don't have a great model for love and when we feel worthless, relationships, even unhealthy ones, are going to be addictive. Because, often, we confuse love for something familiar. Even if you are an addict or have been in the past it doesn't mean you haven't made progress. Just the fact you're listening to this show and this kind of information, means you are a seeker. You want out of the addiction, patterns, bad relationships, and the scarcity mentality. It can be frustrating if you feel you have a long way to go but acknowledge the wisdom of your soul for at least getting you to where you are now. You will get farther if you continue to be proud of yourself for where you are. If you have been wanting to join my Personal Mastery Course but just haven't done it yet, now is a great time to sign up. On July 8, 2021, there will be a one-day event including personal coaching from me. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Mastery to join. The call will be recorded if you cannot make it live. Consider/Ask Yourself Are you still in a relationship or not quite over a relationship you were in and out of, that on some level you know wasn't good for you but you just can't seem to let go? Did you have an absentee parent or parents or caregivers who didn't give you the security and safety every child truly deserves? Are you learning how to love yourself and think that maybe you have forgotten? Are you trying to figure out what wound in your life is creating some of the undesirable events? Linda's Question: Linda has been in an on-and-off relationship and would like to know which childhood wound is creating this pattern. Linda's Key Insights and Ahas: She recently ended an on-and-off two-year relationship. She feels she lost herself in the relationship but is attached and addicted to it. She was critical of herself as a child. Her parents divorced when she was three and she lived with her grandparents. She was bullied for many years as a child. She feels safe hiding and not being seen. She would like to feel loved. She goes back to the relationship because of shared interests. She wants to spend time on her own and remember how to love herself. She has feelings of abandonment and rejection. She needs to feel seen and that someone is there for her. How to Get Over It and On With It: She needs to remember how much she loves herself. Write a list of all the things that did not work in the relationship and read it when she feels like reaching out to him. Write a list of the amazing things about herself and read it every day. Turn up the voice of her inner parent to feel safe, seen, and loved. Takeaways: If you are in a relationship you feel attached or addicted to and you continually justify it in your head, take off your rose-colored glasses and ask yourself if you have a high tolerance for putting up with crap. Focus on falling back in love with yourself. Sponsor: STORYWORTH — is an online service that helps your Dad, Grandfather, father-in-law, and every father figure in your life share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Storyworth has helped numerous families learn about each other in profound and special ways. After a year, Storyworth compiles stories and pictures in a keepsake book that ships for free. Give your Dad a meaningful gift Storyworth.com/overit and get $10 off your first purchase. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Want to learn how to reduce (even eliminate) things like anxiety, depression, obsessive thinking and stress? Then you are going to love my conversation with Dr. Carolline Leaf. She is a communication pathologist and cognitive neuroscientist, specializing in cognitive and metacognitive neuropsychology. Since the early 1980s, she has researched the mind-brain connection, the nature of mental health and the formation of memory. She was one of the first in her field to study how the brain can change (neuroplasticity) with directed mind input. During her years in clinical practice and her work with thousands of underprivileged teachers and students in her home country of South Africa and in the USA, she developed her theory of how we think, build memory and learn, creating practical guides and tools that have transformed the lives of hundreds of thousands of individuals with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), learning disabilities (ADD, ADHD), autism, dementias, and mental ill-health issues like anxiety and depression. You can learn more and get her book at: https://drleaf.com/

This episode is about radical self-acceptance. Today's caller, Sylvie, has had therapy, done tons of personal development work, and speaks with her inner child but still feels blocked. We discuss ways she can reframe her perception of what her awareness is bringing up and how she can fully accept and love herself and her human experience. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode299] When we have something we criticize, don't like, or want to change and the way we relate to it is with judgment and shame and guilt, it amplifies it because all of our fears are seeking to be loved. We have the need to be seen and to be loved. When it comes to the parts of ourselves that we judge and shame just pushing through our response to it, our freeze pattern, can re-traumatize us and reinforce wounds. So, instead of pushing through it, bring love to it. We continue to get "negative" or undesirable experiences, not because we are being tested or the universe wants to punish us, but because our soul is always seeking to evolve. It is looking for a new way to respond to the circumstances. Circumstances don't just stop when we have an awareness about something. When we have an awareness and we know why we are drawing certain things into our lives, we work through it, and then the same thing comes to us again because we need to practice integrating it. If you missed our juicy group call on love, sex, and intimacy last week go to Christinehassler.com/group-coaching-replays to download it and check out all previous calls for only $20. Join us for our Relationship Course on June 11‒13, 2021. It will be recorded if you can't make it live. But if you make it live you have an opportunity for live coaching. Go to ChristineHassler.com/relationshipcourse. We will discuss aligning values, getting better at fulfilling each other's needs, and communication tools. Couples and singles are welcome. Check out my new audio course on the Himalaya Learning App. Himalaya is an audio learning platform that provides an extensive library of courses from great minds such as Malcolm Gladwell, Tim Ferriss, Seth Godin, and me. In my program, "Your Heart, Your Life," I teach about love and relationships. Go to himalaya.com/heart and use the promo code "heart" for a 14-day free trial. Consider/Ask Yourself Have you done all the work but feel like things just are not changing? Do you freeze or just feel bolted down when it comes to putting yourself out there and making a request when selling your business? Did you grow up in a home where you weren't nurtured and loved, especially when you made mistakes? Do you have a very critical judgmental voice inside your head? When you fail or make a mistake do you experience shame and guilt? Sylvie's Question: Sylvie fears rejection. She has done personal development work but still feels blocked. Sylvie's Key Insights and Ahas: She has been working to heal her traumatic childhood. She has a critical inner judgment. She is proud of her personal transformation. She talks with her inner child. She feels she is on the cusp of a breakthrough. She feels she is not reaching her potential. She is an empath and sees the world differently. She puts a lot of pressure on herself. She is starting her personal chef business but is hesitant to talk about it to others. She didn't feel safe and nurtured as a child. She needs to feed herself the love she feeds to others. How to Get Over It and On With It: Move into acceptance and move out of "fix and heal." Ask what her triggers want her to know. Consider the worst-case scenario and play it out in her mind. Connect and tap into the big "why" of what she is doing. Regulate herself when she feels the "freeze." Takeaways: When you are in a trauma response such as worry or freeze think about the worst-case scenario and play it out. Bring unconditional love and acceptance to your undesirable feelings. Take an inventory of the personal growth information you are consuming. If something makes you feel shame or somehow inadequate, stop ingesting it. Listen to Episode 297 where I describe how to regulate the nervous system. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

My longtime friend Kute Blackson joins me this week to discuss the magic of surrender. Surrender is one of those sexy spiritual words that we often do not truly understand or experience. Kute shares with us how we can actually surrender and the magic it brings to our lives when we do. Kute Blackson is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events he organizes around the world as well as at outside events. He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of one hundred of the world's foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award, Blackson is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple: To awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically and fulfill their true life's purpose.

This episode is about how to get your needs met in an intimate relationship. Today's caller, Shaun, is looking for guidance on how to re-open his heart and rekindle the warmth for his partner whom he loves. We discuss strategies for getting beyond the hurts and moving toward understanding and compassion. We often love the way we need to be loved instead of loving a person the way they need to be loved. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode298] As much as we want love and connection in a relationship, the thing we want even more is not to get hurt or lose our power. Often, we put more energy into avoiding what we don't want than creating the relationship we do want because that's what we need to do to survive. Our intimate relationships are often the very fertile ground where we work out any issues from childhood we haven't quite resolved. If we were criticized a lot in childhood, it can come up in a relationship. If we were anxious or didn't feel safe, that is going to come up. If there was cheating within our parent's relationship, that is going to come up. Jealousy, abandonment, all the things we felt as children tend to come up in romantic relationships because romantic relationships are our adult family. Remember, our relationship with our primary family is the intimate relationship that forms the foundation for all future intimate relationships. Whenever we are in an argument, or rut, or tension with our partner, the most important thing that we can do is get to a level of understanding and compassion with ourselves and our partner to understand what the need is that is not being met inside of ourselves. We discover the unmet need that is triggering us and making the situation hard. Then, we look at our needs and then at our partner's needs and take responsibility for communicating the needs in a clear, specific, non-blaming way. It is important to be clear with our partners about how we need to be loved. Join us for our virtual Relationship Retreat on June 11‒13, 2021. It will be recorded if you can't make it live. But if you make it live you have an opportunity for live coaching. Go to ChristineHassler.com/relationshipretreat. We will discuss aligning values, getting better at fulfilling each other's needs, and communication tools. Couples and singles are welcome. I've partnered with Hiitide, which is an online book club and micro-course to help you apply principles from my book, Expectation Hangover, to your daily life. Turn the book into action. Get 28-days of easily digestible prompts and exercises delivered to your phone. A live Q&A session with me is included. The project launches July 1, 2021. Go to ChristineHassler.com/bookclub to learn more. Podcast listeners get 25% off by using the code 'Hangover25' at checkout. Consider/Ask Yourself Do you feel like your heart is not open to your partner? Do you feel like there are things that happen in your relationship you can't forgive, can't shift, or can't get over? Are there issues from your childhood that may be playing out in your relationship? Are you in a dynamic of being avoidant and it produces anxiety in your partner, or vice-a-versa? Shaun's Question: Shaun would like guidance on how to re-open his heart to his partner. Shaun's Key Insights and Ahas: He has been in his relationship for nearly five years. He doesn't feel the closeness he once felt. He loves his partner. Both partners get triggered during arguments. He was bullied as a child and felt attacked. His dad wasn't around as much as he would have liked. His parent's marriage was passionless. The dynamic in his partner's family was competitive. He tends to dissociate during arguments. How to Get Over It and On With It: Ask his partner what she needs. Set his partner up to win. Attend our upcoming relationship retreat. Have a 'needs' conversation with his partner. Get specific about how he wants his needs met. Make his relationship his top priority. Takeaways: When triggered in a relationship, consider what needs are not being met. Make your current or future relationship a priority. Join us for our relationship retreat June 11-13, 2021. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Today Asterian Astrologer Jade Luna joins me again to discuss how the stars predicted this time we are in, what we can learn from it and how we can move forward. Jade and I speak about what life is really about and what the most important things that each and every one of us can do right now to live our most aligned and true lives. Jade S. Luna is the first Westerner ever to reconstruct Jyotish (Hindu Astrology) into a Greco-Roman format. Jade has traveled extensively around the planet, lecturing and conducting workshops on Astrology and Ancient Roman-Greco mysticism. He has traveled to India more than 30 times and spent a great deal of time with various teachers, Saints and Sadhu's in Asia. Jade also consults with people privately. He usually presents a few seminars each year at various locations world wide. He is the author of Asterian Astrology and has been one of the most successful Astrologers in the world and has maintained a high level practice for over 18 years. You can learn more or book a session with him here: http://www.asterianastrology.com

This episode is about regulating the nervous system and dealing with past pains. Today's caller, Lara, is looking for guidance on how to cultivate a sense of safety and security. We work through a body practice to regulate her nervous system and bring her into calm. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode297] Feeling safety and security isn't a mental thing. They have to be felt in the body. When we feel safe and secure, the nervous system relaxes, the body gets out of our survival brain and it comes into a rest-and-digest stage where the nervous system can regulate. With a dysregulated nervous system you cannot shift it by talking, analyzing, or awareness. It becomes frustrating because you can see your anxiety and you understand why it is there and explain your reasons for having anxiety. But, just being able to explain something doesn't change it. The healing or the fixing of it becomes another obsession. What it comes down to is the creation of safety and security. We are always trying to get back to feeling safe and secure. The human body and the nervous system are very resilient, as is the human spirit, but we cannot shift and change when we think we are broken. We need to have compassion for ourselves and one of our most valuable inner resources is our ability to ask for help. Join us for our virtual Relationship Retreat on June 11‒13, 2021. It will be recorded if you can't make it live. Go to ChristineHassler.com/relationshipretreat. We will discuss masculine and feminine energy, polarity, and the duality of all things. Couples and singles are welcome. Tuesday, June 1 at 5 pm (PT) I will host another group coaching call for only $20. To sign up go to ChristineHassler.com/group. Check out my new audio course on the Himalaya Learning App. Himalaya is an audio learning platform that provides an extensive library of courses from great minds such as Malcolm Gladwell, Tim Ferriss, Seth Godin, and me. In my program, "Your Heart, Your Life," I teach about love and relationships. Go to himalaya.com/heart and use the promo code "heart" for a 14-day free trial. Consider/Ask Yourself Do you constantly feel anxious or deal with obsessive thoughts? Have you outsourced your worth or your sense of safety? Are you looking for it in your achievements, a relationship, or even your appearance? Do you crave to be in a relationship, then when you get in them, they're not healthy? Do you have trouble regulating your nervous system and bringing yourself into a calm? Lara's Question: Lara would like to know how she can cultivate a sense of trust and safety and guidance on how to stop filling her void with external things or men. Lara's Key Insights and Ahas: She does not feel worthy or good enough. She struggles with binge eating. She tries to outsource her worth through her appearance, men, or achievements. She has had manic episodes. She craves being in relationships and wants to be saved. She over-analyzes everything she does. She feels stuck. She has a sharp mind and a lot of self-awareness. She grew up with inconsistency and chaos in her childhood. Her mother was not there for her as a child. How to Get Over It and On With It: Recognize when her nervous system is dysregulated and greet it with compassion. Put her hands on her belly and chest and then breathe deep and make a "VUUU" sound. Hold a stuffed animal and rock back and forth to soothe herself. Give herself the parenting and the developmental stages she didn't get. Go to the people and sources that give her motherly love. Takeaways: Consider the indicators when you go into survival mode then recognize and accept them. Have compassion for yourself. Move into a source of regulation such as breathing, holding a stuffed animal, rocking, etc. Stop trying to shift a dysregulated nervous system with your mind. Remember, nothing is broken or wrong about you. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about having difficult conversations with our parents. Today's caller, Max, is trying to avoid being triggered when he speaks to his father. We discuss how Max can ease the impact on his inner child and not experience an expectation hangover. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode296] If a parent or someone we love opens the door to have a conversation we want to run right through and share everything we have been wanting to say for the last 20 years. The other person may feel bombarded and not be ready to hear everything we have to say in one conversation. If you are offered an open door with someone who has been closed for a very long time, do not rush through it thinking it is a green light to speak about everything you have been holding in for decades. Sometimes we need triggering events to create momentum and shifts in a relationship. It is better to approach the situation slowly. *Coaches — this is where you want to be mindful with your clients. For someone who has a triggering relationship, if they have an opportunity like that you want to support them and guide them through walking through the door slowly. Coach them toward taking baby steps so they don't end up with a massive expectation hangover. Join us for our virtual Relationship Retreat on June 11‒13, 2021. It will be recorded if you can't make it live. Go to ChristineHassler.com/relationshipretreat. We will discuss masculine and feminine energy, polarity, and the duality of all things. Couples and singles are welcome. Consider/Ask Yourself Do you have patterns of escapism? Is there a parent whose love you are seeking? Do you seek out their love in unhealthy ways? Have you always felt like one or both of your parents don't understand you? Do you feel so different from your family you don't know if you will ever fit in? Max's Question: Max would like advice on how to keep himself grounded when he speaks with his father. Max's Key Insights and Ahas: He was disloyal in his relationship. He knew avoidance issues were a pattern throughout his life. Love and sex are separate for him. He is the oldest of six children. His childhood family was emotionally suppressive. His father struggled with alcohol abuse and infidelity. His biological mother abandoned him. He then escaped to Mother's house later in life. He does a lot of personal growth work. He has opposing views from his family about current events. He wants a compassionate embrace from his father. He wants to escape when he feels overwhelmed. He is learning to set boundaries. How to Get Over It and On With It: Set an intention of having his father get to know him better. Figure out what little Max needs. Approach his relationships slowly, in a way that does not shock his inner child. Takeaways: If you are going to have a conversation with someone who has opened a door, write out some questions or comments. Go into those kinds of conversations prepared so your nervous system doesn't go into overdrive. When making a big decision, check in with your inner child and do not push yourself. Taking baby steps can be powerful. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — Ladies, when was the last time you treated yourself to a perfectly fitted new bra or loungewear? Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your favorite bra. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you are someone who prides themselves on "being strong" and not great at asking for support, this episode is for you!. Elayne Fluker is the author of the new book, Get Over "I Got It" (HarperCollins Leadership) -- is the host of the Support is Sexy podcast featuring interviews with more than 500 diverse women entrepreneurs, and founder of SiS.Academy -- an online learning platform for Black Women entrepreneurs.

This episode is about healing trauma. Today's caller, Anne, is a musician who wants to expand her creative expression but feels blocked due to the sexual abuse she experienced. She has done a lot of personal development work but still has difficulty fully expressing herself. She wants guidance on how to navigate through her trauma to heal it. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode295] Trauma impacts and/or injures the nervous system. When a person experiences extreme trauma the brain goes into survival, which means fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. The brain is always on the lookout for danger and it is exhausting. That is why we experience fear and anxiety. I can't label what "extreme" is because two people can have the same situation happen to them and one person may register in their nervous system as not that big of a deal, but another person with the same circumstances can register it as a really big deal. When we are healing trauma it is not about reliving it. It is about providing space for somatic emotional release and working with a person to regulate their nervous system. It is about coming out of the survival brain and moving back into the "rest and digest" part of the nervous system, moving from the sympathetic nervous system which is on alert, and into the parasympathetic nervous system. The personal development/self-help world can be misleading, perhaps even damaging, for people that have experienced extensive trauma like rape, sexual abuse, physical abuse, racial trauma, etc. Often, there's an expectation or ethos in the personal development industry that you just need to shift your mindset about something and find the lesson of it. Or, that challenging experiences make you stronger or you can meditate your way through anything. It leaves a lot of people feeling like they are failing at personal development. Join us for our virtual Relationship Retreat on June 11‒13, 2021. It will be recorded if you can't make it live. Go to ChristineHassler.com/relationshipretreat. We will discuss masculine and feminine energy, polarity, and the duality of all things. Couples and singles are welcome. Check out my new audio course on the Himalaya Learning App. Himalaya is an audio learning platform that provides an extensive library of courses from great minds such as Malcolm Gladwell, Tim Ferriss, Seth Godin, and me. In my program, "Your Heart, Your Life" I teach about love and relationships. Go to himalaya.com/heart and use promo code "heart" for a 14-day free trial. Anne's Question: Anne has been trying to heal trauma from sexual abuse and rape and would like guidance on how to navigate through it to shift it. Anne's Key Insights and Ahas: She experienced sexual abuse. She is a musician. She has depression and feels blocked. She feels she cannot fully express herself. She has done energy work and spoken to counselors. She has done the temper tantrum technique. She is having a biologically correct response to what is happening. She has had bad experiences with the medical system. She trusts her intuition but not her decision-making process. How to Get Over It and On With It: Give herself grace and understanding. Trust that she still has her innocence, expression, femininity, and sexuality. Acknowledge the progress she has made. Work with a trauma-trained therapist to help her regulate her nervous system. Nurture her creativeness and passion. Do not push through her fear. Have faith and trust her intuition to align with the right person to help. Realize she has been through a high level of trauma and she deserves a high level of support. Takeaways: Look at the things you have bought into in the personal development world. Are there things that feel more motivational? Could they be hurting more than helping? Is it time to normalize the biologically correct behavior you're experiencing to find the right specialist to help you with it? Consider where you have trust issues. Find something to put your trust into even if it is your intuition. Be open to receiving support. Put it out there verbally and energetically. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Julie Bjelland is a Psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, host of The HSP Podcast, and Founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community, whose mission is to create a paradigm shift where sensitivity is embraced, valued, and honored. Julie offers essential resources for educating, inspiring, and empowering HSPs. Register for her free Masterclasses, take the Sensitivity Quiz and profoundly transform your life in her courses and community. Her HSPs in Business Group is designed to support and empower sensitive people to grow heart-centered businesses, share their voices, and be part of the change the world needs.JulieBjelland.com

This episode is about holding space for our partners. Today's caller, Brandon, would like guidance on how to be in the healthy space of masculine and feminine presence. It is a lovely conversation about integration and holding space when you get to a place where you feel wonderful, but your partner isn't quite there. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode294] When someone comes to us and vents, there is a desire to want to fix whatever it is. The masculine tends to want to fix. The feminine tends to want to take it on and over-empathize into sympathy or go into a caretaker role. We all have masculine and feminine energetics inside of us. Underneath any upset is an unmet need. When we can find the need in an argument or a trigger inside ourselves, we can begin to deal with the true trigger. When we are trying to ease the trigger with talk or action, it usually doesn't work because we are not reaching the unmet need. Remember, everyone is on their own path. When one person gets to a place of feeling evolved like they've "got it" in some ways they want the other person to join them. And, wanting someone you care about to grow and evolve is great. However, judgment can creep in. When we grow and we have awareness we can get on a spiritual or personal growth soapbox. It can be unconscious, or subtle, but the other person can feel judged. The other person can feel pressure. When you get triggered, ask yourself if your masculine comes out or your feminine. Or, can you be in the healthy space of masculine and feminine presence, where the masculine part of you welcomes it, holds space, and asks it what it needs and the feminine part has massive compassion and nurtures you? Join us for our virtual Relationship Retreat on June 11‒13, 2021. It will be recorded if you can't make it live. Go to ChristineHassler.com/relationshipretreat. We will discuss masculine and feminine energy, polarity, and the duality of all things. Couples and singles are welcome. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a phase of your relationship where it's time to integrate some of the things you've learned? Do you feel like you or your partner may be a little "ahead" in your personal development and integration? Does one partner get frustrated because the other is not as far along? Do you feel polarity in your relationship? As in, one of you holds a strong feminine pull and one of you holds a strong masculine pull. Are you possibly in your unhealthy masculine or feminine expressions? Brandon's Question: Brandon would like assistance with integrating some learnings into his relationship. Brandon's Key Insights and Ahas: He has been married for five years. He has a daughter. His relationship has been through some "speedbumps." He was abandoned at 13. He has done personal development work. He feels supported, loved, and compassion from his wife. He is learning more about the feminine dynamic. He is new to setting boundaries. They tried having a polyamorous relationship. He feels oneness with God. He is growing into feminine, within his masculine role. He is in a beautiful place emotionally and spiritually. How to Get Over It and On With It: Focus on how to make his wife feel safe. Be a masculine container without attachment to a shift or change. Don't judge his wife for being at a different vibration. Ask his wife what she needs when she vents. He needs to be consistent in his actions. Do the Sacred Union process together with his wife. Takeaways: Look at the masculine/feminine relationship inside of yourself. Pay attention to whether you want to fix others or yourself and see if you can back off the fixing and be in a place of unconditional love and acceptance. Join us for our powerful virtual Relationship Retreat, June 11‒13, 2021. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

What are boundaries? How do we set them and keep them? How do we know if our boundaries have been crossed? These are just some of the juicy questions that Terri Cole, author of the book, Boundary Boss, answers. You will get so much value out of this conversation and it will improve all of your relationships! Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and global relationship and empowerment expert. For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs. She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 250,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. To get your copy of the book and the free gifts from Terri, go to https://boundarybossbook.com/

This episode is about loving your big feelings and emotions. Today's caller, Beth, wants to feel comfortable in her skin. In her childhood home, her gift of being an empath became a liability. Whoever is the most open, the most sensitive one in a family often absorbs everyone else's feelings. Beth would like guidance on how to keep her heart open but not feel overwhelmed by her feelings. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode293] In today's world, it's often hard to keep our hearts open. So many people are numb, or shut down from feeling, or are scared to feel the "negative" feelings like sadness and anger, or have built walls and around their hearts and wear masks every day. When we are empathic and live among people who suppress, we feel it all. Oftentimes, what makes an empath's heart hurt is feeling sympathy or sorry. It is feeling someone else's pain and suffering so much so that we feel bad for them. It is a judgment. When we are in sympathy we are judging. The truth is none of us want to be blissfully ignorant. Ignorance really isn't bliss. We may think it is and think back to a time when maybe we weren't so awake and aware and romanticize it, thinking maybe it was better, but it really isn't. We are here to evolve. We are here to awaken. And although it comes with many challenges, going back into being asleep is not an option. Feelings are part of our life force and tears are not bad. Celebrate yourself. Join us for our Love and Relationship Group Coaching Call on April 22 at 5 pm Central. It will be recorded if you can't make it. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group. It's $20. We will discuss masculine and feminine energy, polarity, and the duality of all things. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you a soft-hearted person or do you tend to cry about a lot of things? Have you ever been told you're "too sensitive"? Do you downplay challenges or trauma from childhood and think your childhood wasn't that bad? Beth's Question: Beth would like guidance on how to be more self-aware. Beth's Key Insights and Ahas: She's become more aware from doing personal development work. She thinks peace might be unattainable for her. She is not comfortable in her skin and feels like a sham. She is a single mom. She is very emotional and sometimes wishes she was not. She carries shame about being soft-hearted. She cries easily. She was a middle child who felt alone. People tell her she is too emotional. She has the gift of being an empath. She attended the Inner Child Workshop. No one encouraged her emotional intelligence. She was teased as a kid. She had temper tantrums at home. How to Get Over It and On With It: Stop judging herself for how she feels. Welcome her feelings when they arise. Do not hold other people's feelings. Do not feel sympathy for others. Meditate and ask for spiritual assistance. Takeaways: Release, rather than recycle your feelings. Parent your sensitive, beautiful inner child. Get the anger out. Download the anger release process at ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease. Join in on this week's Group Coaching Call. Sponsor: Organifi — is an organic superfood powdered tea that makes quality, trusted nutrition convenient and delicious. Shift your nutritional intake in a simple way. For 20% off your order, go to Organifi.com/overit and use the code "OVERIT" at checkout to receive 20% off all products. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Stefanos joins Christine again to share tips for how to manage challenging conversations and moments in a relationship. Any relationship, not just romantic ones, hit periods of growth where the relationship needs to get to the next level. This can be confronting for one or both people. In this episode we give you advice on when to pause and allow integration to happen (rather than keep processing) as well as a tool called "pendulating." To join us for our group coaching call on relationships, go to www.christinehassler.com/group

This episode is about calming an anxious or hypervigilant mind. Today's caller, Demi, has a pattern of obsessive-compulsive thinking, anxiety, and a worst-case scenario mindset. She would like guidance on how to calm her mind and be more compassionate with herself. It is a very human trait to worry and have anxiety, especially for people who grew up in a chaotic home. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode292] One of the ways we can deal with hypervigilance or anxiety is by witnessing it. It is important we do our best not to make it wrong and accept it. The moment we realize it is not us, the moment we recognize it as OCD, our inner critic, or when we can name it, it gives us a sense of control. It makes it feel as if it is not a runaway train. That's how we begin to calm down. The pattern of not being able to relax but also feeling like you are not doing enough is caused by the emotion underneath the hypervigilance we don't want to feel. And, with hypervigilance comes increased sensitivity. Increased sensitivity usually means more connection to intuition, compassion, and empathy. People who grew up in a chaotic home may have a hard time relaxing because often, that was the calm before the storm. Having an emotional release with no judgment is an important part of working with this. If you know someone who isn't able to calm down or "just not think" about something it is important to have sensitivity and compassion for them because it can be maddening for the person dealing with anxiety or OCD to be told to calm down when the pattern is playing out. Join us for our Love and Relationship Group Coaching Call on April 22 at 5 pm Central. It will be recorded if you can't make it. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group. It's $20. We will discuss masculine and feminine energy, polarity, and the duality of all things. Email [email protected] to get on the early bird list for our upcoming Relationship Retreat. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you tend to have an overactive brain? Do you struggle with indecision and a pattern of you feel like you can never do enough? Do you deal with FOMO or "shoulding" all over yourself? Do you have a strong intuition but either don't listen to it or question yourself? Demi's Question: Demi has struggled with overthinking and FOMO since her teen years and would like guidance on how to calm herself. Demi's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels like she is not doing enough. Her mind gets loud, and she overanalyzes everything. She suffers from anxiety. There was instability in her childhood home. Her parents had a chaotic relationship. She recently started therapy. She has studied Somatic therapy. She loves herself. How to Get Over It and On With It: Become aware of her inner critic and accept it with compassion. Forgive herself for being hard on herself. Practice release writing. Realize she is not her thoughts. Get out of her mind by shaking her body or breathing to move her energy around. Takeaways: If you have people in your life who tell you to calm down or to not think about something, do your best to have boundaries about it. The moment you notice a pattern starting, separate yourself from it. Don't judge it. Notice it, then love it and accept it. Use physical calming techniques to move the energy around in the body. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — What if you could remove the hassle of bra shopping and find the most comfortable, perfect fitting bra or loungewear in minutes? Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your favorite bra. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

I have looked long and hard for a fertility expert that has both heart and correct, research backed, up to date expertise...and I found it all in Dr. Cleopatra. If you have any questions or concerns about your reproductive health and longevity, you will love this reassuring and informative episode. Dr. Cleopatra is The Fertility Strategist and Executive Director of the Fertility & Pregnancy Institute. The mission of the Fertility & Pregnancy Institute is to see what others can't using the best of love, science, and commitment to help ensure that your fertility keeps up with your high-achieving life so that you get to have as many superbabies as your heart desires. Dr. Cleopatra is a scientist and university professor specializing in fertility, pregnancy, and how health is transmitted from one generation to the next. To date, she has received nearly $3 million in grant funding from the National Institutes of Health, the National Science Foundation, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, and others. Dr. Cleopatra has been cited over 1,000 times in the past 5 years alone. Dr. Cleopatra teaches women about the primemester—the magical and powerful window of opportunity before pregnancy—when we literally have the power to change the quality and expression of the genes that we pass down to our babies and grandbabies. Using the science-based, big-hearted PrimemesterTM Protocol developed and refined by Dr. Cleopatra over the past 24 years, the Fertility & Pregnancy Institute helps women all over the world reverse reproductive aging; get pregnant quickly and easily; reduce miscarriage risk; and finally have the superbaby™ they have been dreaming of for as long as they can remember. Dr. Cleopatra is the author of the forthcoming book, "Primemester to Your Superbaby™." Learn more at christinehassler.com/drcleo

This episode is about letting go of patterns and relationships that no longer serve you. Today's caller, Barbara, has a pattern of staying in things long after they are dead, long after the signs say something is no longer in alignment with her life, or it is depleting her life in some way. The pattern of trying to breathe new life into something already dead is a waste of a precious life force. If you can relate to holding on to things for too long or staying in relationships after their expiration date has expired, this episode is for you. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode291] Being able to nurture and be empathetic and feel what others are going through is a gift. Gifts usually come with a learning opportunity. The gift of being incredibly caring and empathic comes with the learning opportunity of boundaries, of not loving or caring for another so much that we lose sight of ourselves. If you want to step into your gifts as a healer, empath, teacher, or true caregiver without depleting yourself, for your gifts to flourish you have to break the pattern of giving to dead ends. Break the pattern of giving so much you deplete yourself of your energy, self-care, self-worth, and self-love. Break the cycle of giving to dead ends, nourish your gifts, and use them in a way they can be fully received. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you a natural nurturer, or caretaker so much so that it often depletes your self-care? Is it hard for you to leave situations or relationships or let go of expectations for your life? Do you keep trying to make something work when you know deep down it probably will not? Do you feel like a doormat and as if your needs come last? When you set boundaries to take care of yourself, does it cause you guilt and concern about how the other person is doing more than how you are doing? Barbara's Question: Barbara is questioning staying in her current relationship. Barbara's Key Insights and Ahas: Her boyfriend is in the hospital after threatening to kill her. She doesn't know the mental status of her boyfriend. She doesn't feel it is in her highest good to stay in her relationship. She is in therapy. Her boyfriend's family is giving her the cold shoulder. She hasn't had her needs met in her relationships. She is a natural empath. She works in a nursing home. She has a good friend she can heal with. She doesn't want to get into another relationship. How to Get Over It and On With It: Take care of herself as she cares for others. Step away from this relationship. Be aware that her self-worth is not based on how she takes care of others. No more sacrificing herself. Self-care is her number one priority. Join the next Inner Child workshop with her friend. Make a list of all of the reasons this relationship is not a fit for her. Takeaways: What are the warning signs you have gotten in your life about a person or situation that wasn't truly aligned and you ignored them? Look at your patterns of people-pleasing and overgiving and know your self-worth and value do not come from helping others. If you are in a helping profession, make sure you take quality time to take care of yourself and fill your own cup. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Stef (Christine's husband) is back on the podcast to talk with me about the common challenges we see couples face and how to overcome them. We will also be hosting a virtual relationship retreat in June, go to www.christinehassler.com/relationshipsupport to get on the early bird list for discounts and details.

This episode is about loving our inner child and making them feel safe. Today's caller, Mikaela, has a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety stemming from the chaos that surrounded her in her childhood home. She wants to feel safe and be seen. This call is great support for any of you who feel fear even if it isn't reasonable for a situation. Or, those of you who are confused about how to connect to your inner child. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode290] For parents or anybody who wants to be a parent, it is very important you continue to parent, or start to parent your inner child when you have children. When someone who had a difficult childhood has a child, they become a great parent to their child. Much better than the parents they had. But it can activate their inner child because their inner child wants to know why they are not receiving the same love and attention from them. Our inner children can act up and act out. Parenting our inner child does not take anything away from our children. It actually gives to them because our children are unconsciously learning from us all the time. When we are parenting ourselves well, they feel that. And, in return, we are a better parent to them. We are not triggered as much by our children when we are parenting our inner child. Remember, we do not want to be anxious about our anxiety. We do not want to be scared about our fear. Because when we are anxious about our fear and anxiety it becomes worse. If you would like to move unconscious stuff and move it into a vibration where you can attract different things into your life, listen to our special breathwork and meditation series. Save $30 on the eight guided sessions when you use the code "breathe" at ChristineHassler.com/breathwork. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you ever have a big fear that comes up but it does not quite match the situation? When fear overcomes you, is it hard to calm down and break free from it? Did you grow up in a house full of chaos where you didn't feel safe? Did you or do you ever just want to hide and be invisible? Mikaela's Question: Mikaela has feelings of inadequacy and fear. She would like guidance on how to become calm and free herself of those feelings. Mikaela's Key Insights and Ahas: There was a lot of chaos in her childhood home. Her father was an abusive alcoholic. She tried to make herself invisible. She has tremendous fear. No one ever recognized how scared she was. She wanted someone to comfort her and make her feel safe. She feels grief for herself as a child. She compares herself to others. She feels robbed of her childhood. She is self-conscious. How to Get Over It and On With It: Connect to her inner child to make her feel seen and safe. Visualize her adult self removing her inner child from the chaos. Acknowledge and honor her grief. Forgive herself for any misunderstandings. Takeaways: If you have consistent levels of fear or anxiety that don't match a situation, it is an alarm bell being activated or triggered. Instead of trying to calm yourself, experiment with following the feeling in a soft, loving way. Doing inner child work doesn't mean we re-experience and relive traumatic events. It means we grieve with the little one who is activated and let them express while being compassionate with them. Invite your inner child to live in the present with you, not the past. Get access to Inner Child Workshop recordings by emailing [email protected]. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Christine answers two listener questions. The first is around the fear of abandonment....what causes is, how it shows up in life, and how to heal it. The second question is regarding how to be with friends going through a hard time without being "life coachy" with them. Also you can take the love block quiz Christine mentioned to find out what fear hold you back here: https://stefanossifandos.com/love-block-quiz/

This episode is about how to shift personality patterns. Today's caller, Nikhi, is looking for guidance on how to speak up for herself and how to ask for what she wants. She has completed two Inner Child Workshops and is ready to work through the resistance she feels as she begins to shift her patterns. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode289] Doing personal growth work, especially inner child work, doesn't mean that boom, all of a sudden you're healed. It takes time. The patterns we develop, the coping strategies, the results from our wounding have been there for many years. It takes time for something to move from awareness to integration. The enduring pattern develops around age three because our need at that age is expression, to be able to express our feelings, to be able to express who we are, and to feel like it's safe to be ourselves. If we lived in a family where emotional expression wasn't encouraged, or we were to be seen, not heard, or we were told what to do, we had to figure out what to do just to not piss anybody off, we end up often with something called the enduring pattern. The enduring pattern is when we think we will just hold it all together or hold it all inside because it's not safe to express or speak our truth. There are two parts to speaking up for yourself. Part one is speaking your needs and part two, continuing to speak up when you are met with criticism, gas-lighting, or feeling squashed. Get on the interest list for our next couple's Relationship Retreat. It is a live, 3-day virtual retreat coming up in June. Christinehassler.com/relationshipsupport Listen to past group coaching calls, ChristineHassler.com/group-coaching-replays, and listen to Coaches Corner with Erica Alaura for important energy cleansing work. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you get overwhelmed easily but yet have trouble asking for help? Does your reaction to something, like your level of a reaction, sometimes not match the reality of the situation? Are you hard on yourself? Do you have a fierce inner critic? Do you internalize your feelings? Is it difficult for you to ask for support? Nikhi's Question: Nikhi is looking for guidance on how to speak up for herself and ask for what she needs from an empowered place. Nikhi's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels disempowered. She doesn't ask for what she needs and then feels shame about it. She feels triggered and angry when her husband reminds her of things. She is an empath. She didn't feel seen or heard as a child. She internalizes things that happen to her. She has completed two Inner Child Workshops. She has an anxious attachment style and an enduring personality pattern. She gets overwhelmed easily. She was not allowed to express anger as a child. She struggles with structure. Her subtle inner critic comes out as a sinking feeling. She wants to find an accountability partner. How to Get Over It and On With It: Speak up and share her emotions. Practice feeling and expressing her feelings. Do 10-minutes of Release Writing or record thoughts on her phone daily. Write a letter to her inner parent to re-read when she feels resistance. Takeaways: Discipline yourself with love and gentleness. Don't put too much on your plate. Sponsor: ShipStation — Do you have an online business and want to ship things without micromanaging the process. ShipStation software tracks all of your shipments in one easy-to-use interface. Over and On With It listeners can try ShipStation for free for 60-days by using the offer code 'OVERIT'. Go to ShipStation.com and click on the microphone at the top of the page to let Shipstation help your business grow and thrive. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Erika Aluara is a friend and personal healer of Christine's. She is an intuitive, channel and a transcendence coach partnering people to experience not only unrecognizable transformation but true transcendence. In this interview, she also clears YOU the listener which is not to miss!! Erika draws on her extensive training and experience to incorporate multiple modalities, including Psychic Channeling, Spiritual Response Therapy, Past Life Clearing and ThetaHealing®. Erika is deeply passionate about holding the space and sifting through the elements her clients reject, repress or fear about themselves — discreetly, confidentially and without judgment — transmuting that negative emotion into peace, understanding and ultimately, acceptance. If you are interested in an integrative approach with sustainability as its core feel free to book in for a consultation session, the experience is beyond priceless! You can learn more about: https://www.erikaalaura.com/

This episode is about honoring emotions with compassion and acceptance. Today's caller, Olivia, is going through a unique situation. She is feeling confused by her emotions and would like guidance on how to feel her feelings without going into "victim" and how to grieve after a loss. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode288] It is normal for emotions to be confusing. We live in a mental, logical, linear-based world where we want certainty. We want things to make sense. But life isn't linear, there aren't five steps to make every sense of everything. Life is messy. It's complicated. It's a journey. Especially when it comes to emotions, we don't want to try to manage them, understand them, or know why. We just need to learn how to feel and move through them. But, often, our mind gets in the way. This is the biggest reason so many people deal with repression, suppression, depression and then have to distract themselves or develop addictions. It's because we don't know how to be with our emotions. Most of the time, when we are crying or feeling we are analyzing it. Maybe not allowing ourselves to be in the emotion and ride the waves. One wave could have twenty different feelings in it. It is about letting yourself go with compassion. If you want to evolve and be free of some of the stuff that is weighing you down, you have to feel. We only get lost in our feelings when we judge them or when we go into "victim." Join Stefanos and me for our 3-day virtual Inner Child Workshop. It's not about working on yourself. It's about connecting to your little one and letting go of some things you have been carrying around. We can help you bring your little one into their future, which is your present, and help them feel loved and safe. ChristineHassler.com/innerchild — March 19–21, 2021. Listen to past group coaching calls at ChristineHassler.com/group-coaching-replays. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you often feel confused about your feelings? Do you feel guilty about feeling the way you feel? Do you put other people's needs above yours, making their feelings and tending to their feelings and their concerns more of a priority? Do you feel overwhelmed with a current emotion? Are you scared if you go into it you will lose yourself? Are you going through a loss of any kind? A loss of a person you love, a pet, job, a dream? Olivia's Question: Olivia has had major heartbreak and loss and is confused about how to feel. Olivia's Key Insights and Ahas: She ended a long-term relationship and then her ex married quickly after. Her ex passed away tragically within a year of their breakup. She feels stuck in her emotions. She feels confused and guilty about being upset. She looks to other people about how to feel. She didn't attend his funeral. She is a people pleaser and puts others first. She can fall into "victim" and judge herself. She buries her anger. How to Get Over It and On With It: Give herself permission to feel all of her feelings. Allow herself to grieve. Honor what she is feeling with compassion. Realize she may never get an apology. Perform a personal memorial service for her ex. Dig up her anger to release it with the Anger Release technique. Practice the Empty Chair process from Personal Mastery. Takeaways: Practice riding the waves with compassion for yourself and others. Allow emotions to be confusing. You don't need to understand them mentally. The body and heart understand emotions, not your mind. Consider joining us for the Inner Child workshop on March 19–21. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — What if you could remove the hassle of bra shopping and find the most comfortable, perfect fitting bra or loungewear in minutes? Take the fit finder quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your favorite bra. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

We all know self-love is incredibly important but what does it mean and how do you do it? Listen in for a Coaches Corner where Christine discusses a way to practice and understand self-love.

This episode is about honoring your needs and speaking your truth. I coach today's caller, Judy, through her feelings of isolation and empower her to have an honest conversation with her husband and herself about her needs. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode287] Loneliness is an epidemic, especially in this day and age when so many of us live alone. We are not close to our family geographically or we don't have a soul family or community to be a part of. We need a healing connection. We need to feel part of something, part of a tribe. We need to feel connected to ourselves. What often perpetuates a feeling of loneliness is a disconnection from ourselves that comes from judging ourselves and being hard on ourselves. If you suffer from loneliness or a lack of self-esteem, you are not alone. Let the fact that you are not alone motivate you to gain confidence and to connect with a community. Speaking your truth is when you say what's true for you and you are able to communicate your needs. When are you not speaking your truth? Many of us think people-pleasing is a way to get love and find validation. We think if people see the real us, they may not like us. The more you show the real you and the more authentic you are, your relationship with yourself will improve, your self-esteem will improve, and the intimacy and connection you have with other people will also improve. It's great to make other people happy but it's more important to please ourselves first by making self-honoring choices. People-pleasing could be the reason you are feeling isolated. On some level, people-pleasing is draining. Drop the people-pleasing, up your self-esteem by making self-honoring choices, and get out there and find your tribe! Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel isolated? Are you craving more connection? Are you in a marriage or relationship where you feel isolated? Do you feel like you are dependent on your partner or you are living according to their dreams and desires more than your own? Are you a people-pleaser? Do you have a hard time making your needs a priority? Do you find it challenging to speak your truth? Judy's Question: Judy wants to know how to find herself and how to raise her self-esteem. Judy's Key Insights and Ahas: She has been continuously moving for a year. Her husband tries to support her but he doesn't really get it. Her husband has a stronger personality than she does. She's dependent on her husband and doesn't go places on her own. She always puts other people first. She has a hard time saying no. She takes care of people, hoping it will help to build intimacy. How to Get Over It and On With It: She should be honest and vulnerable with her husband about her feelings. She should speak up when she feels she wants to say something. She should lean more into authenticity and less into people-pleasing. She should spend some time on her own engaging with other people. Takeaways: If you are in a relationship with the opposite sex and would like to improve your masculine/feminine communication dynamics, consider studying the subject more. If you are feeling isolated, start with a goal of talking to five new people every day and then build on that number. Start getting yourself out there and finding your tribe. Speak your truth authentically. If you have trouble doing it, join the Inner Circle community. Authenticity is this month's area of focus. Communicate your needs to the most important people in your life. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Christine answers the question: How do we truly move into acceptance of something turning out differently than we want and truly let go?" Acceptance is one of the most powerful things we can do for our healing and growth, yet it is often so difficult because what we have to accept is a reality we don't want. Christine teaches what acceptance actually is and the importance of moving out of regret, shoulda coulda woulda thinking, and how to move through our disappointments rather than get stuck.

This call is about breaking patterns with self-compassion. Today's caller, Maria, has been unfaithful in her relationships since the age of fifteen. She carries shame and judgment around it. Romantic relationships are so greatly influenced by our childhood wounds. In this call, you will see how Maria's childhood is impacting how she shows up in relationships today and why she's cheating. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode286] Shame and judgment are heavy and toxic. They are the things that keep us from shifting and changing. Yet, they make us want to change even more because the more shame we feel and the more we judge ourselves the more committed we are to changing. We may go to therapy, take courses, or listen to podcasts but it doesn't change things. Shame and judgment can be the catalyst for something we need to shift but we must move into compassion and acceptance in order to get to the healing that creates the shift. Sometimes, we have to face our worst fears in order to not have them be the monster in the closet. We have to open the closet door and deal with the monster because we can't stand lying in my bed and worrying that the monster will get us. We have to get up and deal with it so we can get some sleep. Loneliness can become dangerous because we crave connection. We all need to feel loved and we will do extreme things to get love. Even repeat patterns that are no longer serving us. How wounding affects our romantic relationships is the topic of the Virtual Group Coaching Call on March 11, 2021. $20 is all it costs to connect with your inner child and other like-minded people. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you carry a lot of shame about something you've done or that you're doing or a pattern you have? Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship or cheated on? Is there something in your life that you are having a hard time shifting and you know you want to take a big step but you can't seem to make it happen? If you have children, what are you teaching them through your actions? Are you being an example of what you'd want them to be in life and relationships? Maria's Question: Maria wants to know why she continues the pattern of cheating on her partners. Maria's Key Insights and Ahas: She has cheated on her partners since she was 15. She needs validation from men to feel worthy. She feels unlovable. Her father died when she was eight. She was one of six children. Her mother wasn't loving. She felt alone growing up. She likes being protected by older men. She became addicted to having a boyfriend. She would like to shift her pattern now. She has two daughters. Her ex-husband spoke to her children about her cheating. She distracts herself through relationships. She is scared of making a shift. She started therapy this week. She hasn't fully grieved her father. How to Get Over It and On With It: Forgive herself for judging and shaming herself. Move into the energy of self-compassion. Breakup with her boyfriend and be single for a while. Get a coach or therapist to work with her. Takeaways For You: Are you trying to shift yourself through shame and judgment? Can you bring self-compassion in? Are you the bartender trying to get sober all the while serving alcohol all day? Are you in an environment that is not conducive to your healing and what can you do to get out of that environment? Join our Group Coaching Call on March 11th about how inner child work impacts relationships. Sponsor: Rothy's — Give yourself stylish, comfortable, versatile shoes made from eco-friendly material, including repurposed plastic water bottles and marine plastics from Rothy's. They are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Check out the latest shoes, handbags, and masks from Rothy's by using this link Rothys.com/over. With free returns and exchanges on eligible products. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Listen in as Christine discusses why growth can be so painful, why the pain is not "bad", ways to decrease the pain, and why the pain is NOT necessary for growth. Link to blog/podcast she mentions: https://christinehassler.com/2018/03/do-you-have-enough-

This call is about letting go of worry and anxiety. Today's caller, Lara, has a lot of worry and anxiety when it comes to her kids. She would like guidance on how to tame it and not have it impact her children. When we let worry get the best of us, not only are we raising cortisol levels in our bodies, which is bad for our health, but we are moving out of our resourced state where we have access to intellect and intuition. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode285] When we have a lot of worry and anxiety, it doesn't do us any good. We become good at imagining worst-case scenarios but the heightened sense of anxiety puts us in the amygdala part of our brain — the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. When we are in that part of our brain, we are not thinking clearly; we are not well resourced. When it comes to keeping ourselves safe and protecting ourselves, being prepared allows us to relax because we have a plan in place. We need to learn to channel the worry into something else — into being productive, being prepared, or deepening our spiritual practice. There is a certainty we get from physical world reality, control, and from seeing things. And, there is a certainty we get from faith. Unfortunately, for most of us, our certainty muscle is based on control. That muscle is much stronger than our faith muscle. Having faith in the universe, higher power, God, or whatever resonates with you, is key in letting go of anxiety and letting go of attachment. Because if there is not something bigger than you that you trust, you will always be addicted to control. You will feel like you have to have your hands on the steering wheel of life at all times. It will be hard to let go. This is why surrender is important. Surrender isn't about giving up. It is about letting go. It's about relaxing into the knowing that there is a higher power taking care of you and taking care of the people you love. Join Stefanos and me for our 3-day virtual Inner Child Workshop. It's not about working on yourself. It's about connecting to your little one and letting go of some things you have been carrying around. We can help you bring your little one into their future, which is your present, and help them feel loved and safe. Don't let money be an issue, we have scholarships! ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email [email protected] — March 19–21, 2021 We are creating a Relationship Retreat. It will be a 3-day virtual event. Get on the interest list to find out more and receive the early bird discount at ChristineHassler.com/relationshipsupport. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you love people so much you just want to hang on to them tightly and often control what they're doing? Do you worry about the people in your life and you feel better when they're in your sight? Do you have a hard time letting them go? Are you a parent who is struggling with the balance of giving your kids freedom, not wanting to project your anxiety on them, but also worrying if you don't, something bad is going to happen? As a child did you feel safe? Did you feel like all your needs were met? Did you feel like you had a parent that made you feel calm and resourced or do you have more of an anxious-attachment style? Lara's Question: Lara feels stuck in a cycle of anxiety and does not want it to negatively impact her children. Lara's Key Insights and Ahas: She has anxiety. She tends to control situations. Her children are becoming independent. She had chaos in her childhood. Her mother was the nervous type. She worries and does not trust that things will be OK. She has an anxious attachment style with her children. How to Get Over It and On With It: Trust and have faith that her children are protected. Join the Inner Child Workshop. Allow her mother's intuition to guide her actions. Greet her anxiety with love and remember it is just her inner child. Start a meditation and mindfulness practice. Takeaways For You: Make your inner child feel safe. Let them know you are there for them. Trust your intuition. Sponsor: ShipStation — The solution for online businesses and individuals who want to ship things without leaving home. ShipStation software tracks all of your shipments in one easy-to-use interface. Over and On With It listeners can try ShipStation for free for 60-days by using the offer code 'OVERIT'. Go to ShipStation.com and click on the microphone at the top of the page to let Shipstation help your business grow and thrive. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Luke Storey is a motivational speaker, kundalini yoga and meditation teacher, world-class biohacker, host of The Life Stylist Podcast, and founder of the world's premier online fashion school for stylists, School of Style which he founded in 2008. Luke's spent the past twenty-three years developing and refining the ultimate wellness lifestyle, based on the most transformative principles of primal health and ancient spiritual practices, while at the same time embracing the most cutting-edge natural healing and consciousness expanding technologies. He has tenaciously applied the results of his field research and used them to not only completely transform his own life but also the lives of thousands of fans and followers through his various media channels and speaking engagements. As a transformational speaker and entrepreneur, Luke continues to share his strategies for healing and happiness through his innovative and highly effective Lifestyle Design teachings, his Youtube channel, and his wildly popular podcast. You can learn more about Luke here www.lukestorey.com.

This call is about making self-honoring choices. Today's caller, Elena, has separated from her husband after being co-dependent for many years. She is uncertain how to move forward because she isn't clear about who she is. She asks for guidance about what to do next. This is an important call for those who feel they have lost themselves in a relationship or job. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode284] When you are trying to make an important decision, from getting a divorce to having a child, to moving to a new city or quitting your job, you need to start on the inside first. Look at where you are in the situation. Ask yourself if you want the job? Do you want the marriage to work? Are you scared to speak your feelings? What is underneath the surface feelings? For most people, limbo feels safe because you don't have to make a choice. But, what is safe for most of us is what is familiar. Usually what is familiar doesn't leave any opportunity for change or breakthrough. When you are in limbo, not moving in any direction, there are no possibilities. There is only more of the same. When we know who we are and we practice honoring choices, not selfish choices, clarity becomes a lot easier. Because we can say, "This is a yes. This is in alignment with my most authentic self. I'm not coming from a place of hurt or from my childhood wounding. I'm not looking for love or validation outside of me." It becomes much easier to make decisions. Everyone has the tools to love themselves and figure out who they are. If you are in a human body with a mind, a soul, and a heart you have the tools. You may need someone to help you use the tools but you have the tools. Join Stefanos and me for our 3-day virtual Inner Child Workshop. It's not about working on yourself. It's about connecting to your little one and letting go of some things you have been carrying around. We can help you bring your little one into their future, which is your present, and help them feel loved and safe. Don't let money be an issue, we have scholarships! ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email [email protected] — March 19–21, 2021 We are creating a Relationship Retreat. It will be a 3-day virtual event. Get on the interest list to find out more and receive the early bird discount at ChristineHassler.com/relationshipsupport. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel you have forgotten who you are or lost who you are? Do you feel like within a marriage, being a parent, in a job, or friendship you have sacrificed your own identity? Are you in limbo about a big decision and terrified to make the change? Do you feel lost when it comes to getting support or asking for help? Elena's Question: Elena would like to find herself after losing herself in a co-dependent, long-term relationship. Elena's Key Insights and Ahas: She had been with her husband since the age of 14 until separating three years ago. She was co-dependent during her marriage. He had an emotional affair with someone else. The couple tried therapy. She is afraid to make a move. She lacks the confidence to make a change. She needs to put herself first. She grew up with old-school Italian values. Her mother divorced her father at her same age. Her temper goes quickly from one to 100. She likes to make people happy. She feels she needs to earn love. She doesn't know how to be. She is in Personal Mastery. How to Get Over It and On With It: Create some space to find out who she is. Be self-honoring and choose self-love. Realize she does not have to please people for them to love her. Journal to help process her feelings. Focus on the relationship she has with herself. Takeaways For You: Get support. Reach out for help. Form clear boundaries about what is not working for you, get clear about who you are and step into self-love. Join Personal Mastery. Be gentle with yourself. Stop telling yourself all the reasons you cannot do something and collect evidence for how you can. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — Comfortable, perfectly-fitting bras that feel good to wear. What if you could remove the hassle of bra shopping and find the most comfortable, perfect-fitting bra in minutes? Take the fit finder quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes and great fitting underwear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your favorite bra. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Sahara Rose is an ancient soul in a modern body. She has been called "a leading voice for the millennial generation into the new paradigm shift" by Deepak Chopra, who wrote the foreword of her books. She is the best-selling author of Eat Feel Fresh, Idiot's Guide to Ayurveda, A Yogic Path, her new book Discover Your Dharma. She also hosts the Highest Self Podcast, the #1 spirituality podcast on iTunes, and founder of Rose Gold Goddesses, the sacred sisterhood collective.

This call is about worst-case scenario thinking. Today's caller, Kate, is always waiting for the other shoe to drop because of chaos in her childhood. She has never felt safe. If you find yourself at a point where life is smooth and good but you keep waiting for something to happen and then judge yourself for having negative thoughts, this show will offer you solid guidance. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode283] Often, when people are in personal development, they learn from their suffering. There is an unconscious belief that they learn and grow from challenge or loss. But, while those things can be awakenings to growth, we must choose to learn and grow. We don't need loss and hardship to motivate us, inspire us to grow, or evolve our souls. Often, when we are worried the other shoe is going to drop, the fears coming up are our inner child trying to communicate with us. The body and emotions are often the language of the inner child, of our subconscious mind. So, pay attention to those, and instead of trying to get rid of them, ask them what they need. It is not our thoughts that attract things to us. It is our feelings and our frequency. Gratitude is a great frequency to move us out of anxiety or obsessive thinking. Moving into gratitude and truly feeling it is so much better than distraction. If you have fears of manifesting your bad thoughts, remember that the percentage of time you spend in the present and in gratitude is probably greater than the percentage of time you spend worrying. Worrying just feels more intense because it is intense and uncomfortable when you do it. Take comfort that it will be okay. Join Stefanos and me for our 3-day virtual Inner Child Workshop. It's not about working on yourself. It's about connecting to your little one and letting go of some things you have been carrying around. We can help you bring your little one into their future, which is your present, and help them feel loved and safe. Don't let money be an issue, we have scholarships! Christinehassler.com/innerchild or email [email protected] — March 19–21, 2021 Do you want to make coaching your career or enhance your current practice? Join our 6-month coach training program. You will be mentored by me and three other master-level coaches. If you are interested in applying, go to Elementum Coaching Institute to apply before the first class fills up. Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you have a childhood where you couldn't really relax, there was a lot of uncertainty, or everything was going fine and then a shoe dropped and you find yourself constantly waiting for the other one to drop? Have you done a lot of work on yourself? Are things going really well but you feel you can't trust it? Do you fear that your fear about things going badly will manifest bad things? Do you feel you have a deep connection to your inner child and they feel safe? Kate's Question: Kate would like guidance around why, when things are going well, she fears something is going to go wrong. Kate's Key Insights and Ahas: She is at a great place in her life. She often expects the worst. She fears she is going to sabotage herself. She has done personal development work. She spends more time in fear than joy. Her father was unpredictable and angry. Her sister was often sick. She didn't feel safe as a child. She wants to be more spontaneous. She uses distraction as a coping strategy. She believed challenges were a path to growth. She does not need to suffer to learn and grow. She will pay attention to the voice of her inner child. How to Get Over It and On With It: Reassure her inner child and put one hand on her belly and one on her heart and say "I am safe" when she has fear about something going wrong. Journal about how learning through challenge is over. Move into acceptance, soothe her inner child, and make a conscious decision to choose gratitude. Takeaways For You: Sign up for the Inner Child Workshop. Practice the 3-step process. Acceptance, reassurance of safety, and gratitude. Vow that you can evolve through choice, not challenge. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Hayden Dawes is a licensed social worker whose practice experience includes hospital social work, mental health, and addiction treatment, in addition to people involved in the legal system. Although grounded in relational-experiential approaches to mental health treatment, Hayden has been trained in advanced trauma modalities and remains curious about all forms of mental health treatments. Hayden is currently a Ph.D. student at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill's School of Social Work. His research is in examining the psychosocial challenges impacting people of color and LGBTQIA+ individuals. He is also interested in seeking advanced methods to intervene on providers' implicit and explicit biases. In response to racial injustice within the mental health practitioner community, Hayden wrote an article that was featured on Medium titled "An Invitation to White Therapists" it has since been widely used in direct practice education, consultation, and supervision. Hayden currently resides in Greensboro NC with his partner of 10 years. Hayden is an avid crossfitter, traveler, dance partner, and reality-tv specialist. During the COVID pandemic, Hayden expanded his personal "radical permission"practice to create a #radicalpermission project for the greater community across social media platforms, to encourage people to set intentions with grace.

This call is about feeling safe and feeling enough. Today's caller, Jessie, has been struggling with childhood trauma and is self-soothing by buying things she doesn't need. Any of you who struggle with not-enoughness, or have been labeled as having ADD, or are not sure if you have dealt with your childhood trauma, this is a great episode for you. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode282] The unconscious drives about 90-95% of our behavior. We come from our past trauma or our limiting beliefs until we reach a point where we are aware of it and choose and attract something differently. Often, people who struggle with low self-worth or of not-enoughness are constantly trying to compensate by doing, talking, and proving. They are not great at reaching out for support because there is a level of trauma that still is running the show. There comes a point when trauma becomes part of our learning and part of the things that helped us grow and part of the things that have evolved our soul but before it gets there it becomes the thing to create our reality until we shift it. For coaches and therapists, when you have a client who seems to dart around and doesn't land on one thing for very long, it indicates that they just don't feel safe, and feeling safe is everything. Remember, we attract at the level of our issues until we heal those and move into a different frequency. Connecting to your inner child is February's topic for the Virtual Group Coaching Call on February 11, 2021. $20 is all it costs to connect with your inner child and other like-minded people. Join Stefanos and me for our 3-day virtual Inner Child Workshop. It's not about working on yourself. It's about connecting to your little one and letting go of some things you have been carrying around. We can help you bring your little one into their future, which is your present, and help them feel loved and safe. Don't let money be an issue, we have scholarships! Christinehassler.com/innerchild or email [email protected] — March 19–21, 2021 Do you want to make coaching your career? Join our 6-month coach training program. You will be mentored by me and three other master-level coaches. Plus you will have the opportunity to be a coach in the program moving forward. Go to Christinehassler.com/coachtraining Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you shop too much or have some kind of behavior you know is not healthy but you just can't stop yourself from doing it? Do you struggle with feeling not enough? Do you have a lot of childhood trauma or chaos you have done your best to cope with but don't know if you are totally free? Have you and do you accept all parts of yourself? Jessie's Question: Jesse struggles with childhood trauma and not-enoughness. She wants to feel safe and enough. Jessie's Key Insights and Ahas: She buys things she feels will make her look a certain way. Her mother is overly critical. She self-soothes with shopping. She doesn't feel safe. She lost her brother and her dad early in life. She has been labeled as having ADD. She lived in fear as a child due to her dad's abusiveness. She has done talk therapy. She is overwhelmed when she has to do adult things. She feels alone. There was chaos in her childhood. Her nervous system is delicate. She is trying to handle too much at once. How to Get Over It and On With It: Grieve the relationship she hasn't had. Invoke the loving mother inside herself. Stop judging herself for doing something she is trying to transform. Stop dating for a while. Find a source for trauma or somatic therapy with whom she feels safe. Understand there is nothing wrong with her. Takeaways For You: Ask your body, which is connected to your inner child, what it needs? If you are a parent, one of the best things you can do is do your own work. Invest in yourself. If you are a great parent to your inner child, you will be a better parent to your own child. Join the inner child workshop. Seek out support and get help. Sign up for the group call or join the Inner Child Workshop. Sponsor: Rothy's — Give yourself stylish, comfortable, versatile shoes made from eco-friendly material, including repurposed plastic water bottles and marine plastics from Rothy's. They are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Check out the latest shoes, handbags, and masks from Rothy's by using this link Rothys.com/over. With free returns and exchanges on eligible products. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you are feeling confused, frustrated or stuck regarding your career, this is the interview for you. Ashley Stahl joins Christine to talk about the ways you can get clarity on your next career move, learn the 10 core skill sets that exist in the workforce and more! Ashley is counter-terrorism professional turned career coach and author of the book You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career, and she's on a mission to help you step into a career you're excited about and aligned with. She supports clients in 31 countries in discovering their best career path, upgrading their confidence and landing more job offers. Her book-- along with $2,000 worth of free courses on money mindset, getting clarity on your career, and starting your side hustle -- is available now at YouTurnBook.com.

This call is about being the change you want to see in a relationship. Today's caller, Jasmine, would like more intimacy and connection in her marriage. We work through how the relationship dynamics have changed and the childhood wounding that may be affecting her and her husband. Whether you are in a relationship or not, if you are someone who wishes someone else would change or wish someone would be different, this is an episode you should listen to. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode281] Both men and women have masculine and feminine energy in us. It is like the Yin and Yang. They go together in balance. Most of us have one energetic that sits in front of the other. The feminine yearns for presence, affection, and intimacy. The masculine energy is focused. It is responsible, but it can be in the shadow masculine if it is focused to the point that it is ignoring emotional availability. I am making a massive generalization here, but I see women, for a while, putting more work into a relationship. Then, after learning to drop into their feminine they often expect something to change in the other person. If you decide to be more into your feminine energy, be sure to do it freely, without expectation. When we are the invitation; when we are the change that we want to see... that is truly the only way change is created. Are you the invitation without expectation? Or, are you being the invitation because you want something to happen? Connecting to your inner child is February's topic for the Virtual Group Coaching Call. $20 is all it cost to connect with your inner child and other like-minded people. Join Stefanos and me for our 3-day virtual Inner Child Workshop. It's not about working on yourself. It's about connecting to your little one and letting go of some things you have been carrying around. We can help you bring your little one into their future, which is your present, and help them feel loved and safe. Don't let money be an issue, we have scholarships! Christinehassler.com/innerchild or email [email protected] — March 19-21, 2021 Do you want to make coaching your career? Join our 6-month coach training program. You will be mentored by me and three other master-level coaches. Plus you will have the opportunity to be a coach in the program moving forward. Go to Christinehassler.com/coachtraining Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a bit of a relationship rut? Has a relationship, marriage, or even a friendship been going along for years and it's good but there's something you would like to change? Have responsibilities in your life made you grow apart from your partner? Are you the more conscious one in a relationship and feel like you are constantly wanting your partner to grow or be conscious with you and they just seem to stay where they are? Are you aware that the most intimate relationships in your life often trigger your childhood issues? Jasmine's Question: Jasmine wants more connection and intimacy from her husband of 11 years. Jasmine's Key Insights and Ahas: She has been married for 11 years. She and her husband lead a busy life. She would like more emotional intimacy from her husband. She is doing consciousness work. She has shifted the relationship dynamic. She has tried initiating physical contact. She has childhood wounding with regard to her father. She loves small quiet moments. How to Get Over It and On With It: Create what she wants in the relationship. Acknowledge her husband more. Be vulnerable to create intimacy. Step into her feminine energy and be the invitation. Do not try to get Dad's love from her husband. Be inspired to move toward love. Download the Sacred Union process and possibly share it with her husband. Takeaways For You: Are there patterns in your relationship where you may be breeding resentment based on old stories that need to be updated? Would a little bit of relationship detoxing shift your relationship to the next level? If you want something to change be the invitation for it. Consider joining us for our Inner Child Workshop. Download our free guided Sacred Union process. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

In this episode you'll learn why everyone (even you!!) is wired for peak performance. Steven Kotler New York Times bestselling author and peak performance expert—on a science-based approach to unleash our full potential and succeed against all odds. During a time when it's easy to give up, Kotler teaches us how to exceed our limitations with his newest book, The Art of the Impossible. Kotler decodes the secrets of elite performers, including top CEOs, Olympic athletes, and respected artists—many of whom his organization Flow Research Collective trains. Listen and learn the role of flow in pulling off the impossible, how to become exponentially more productive, and how to innovate in mind and matter. Grab Steven's book here: https://www.stevenkotler.com/ Learn more about him here: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-art-of-impossible-steven-kotler?variant=32126584881186

This call is about self-acceptance and leading a fully-expressed life. Dani calls in looking for guidance on how to get out of the funk she is in. She feels unmotivated and burned out. But, as we discuss, the beautiful thing about burnout is that it is a wake-up call to tell us we are living in an unsustainable way. It is in the unknown that magical opportunities present themselves. When we plan and control everything there is little room for the universe to surprise us. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode280] A lot of us are committed to personal growth. But, we must be aware of when we are working on ourselves a little too much and sometimes just let it be. Be in radical self-acceptance. Be in a place of just accepting where we are and shifting our energy into one of love and gratitude. It is the balance between not brushing stuff under the rug and living in denial but not overworking ourselves so we are always a personal growth project. When we grew up in a house where there was a lot of uncertainty or chaos there is a frenetic energy that happens. It is constantly looking for safety and certainty. It can keep us very busy. If you relate to that, I encourage you just to stop and slow down. Because our soul, or the universe, does not give us much momentum on something when it comes from a place of lack. Sometimes we just need to stop and be with ourselves. Join Stefanos and me for our 3-day virtual Inner Child Workshop. It's not about working on yourself. It's about connecting to your little one and letting go of some things you have been carrying around. We can help you bring your little one into their future, which is your present, and help them feel loved and safe. Don't let money be an issue, we have scholarships! Christinehassler.com/innerchild or email [email protected] — March 19-21, 2021 Do you want to make coaching your career? Join our 6-month coach training program. You will be mentored by me and three other master-level coaches. Plus you will have the opportunity to be a coach in the program moving forward. Go to Christinehassler.com/coachtraining Dani's Question: Dani feels a loss of identity, burned out, and unmotivated and would like guidance on how to break free of her funk. Dani's Key Insights and Ahas: She was a full-time musician who started a life coaching business last year. She feels she has a block around her career. Her focus on her career is a coping strategy. She puts a lot of pressure on herself. She wants to live a balanced life. She's done a lot of personal development work. She is always searching for something and pushing herself. She hasn't felt safe in her life. She has no anticipation for the future. She feels uncertain. She has taken many risks in her life. How to Get Over It and On With It: Resist the habit of trying to figure everything out. Embrace uncertainty. Give herself the gift of feeling safe in the present moment. Permit herself to just be. Move out of distraction and into stillness and safety. Takeaways For You: Sit in the safety of uncertainty. Sign up for the Inner Child Workshop. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — Comfortable, perfectly-fitting bras that feel good to wear. What if you could remove the hassle of bra shopping and find the most comfortable, perfect fitting bra in minutes? Take the fit finder quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes and great fitting underwear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your favorite bra. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is a hug for your mind and your heart. Well-respected physician and educator, Dr. Nzing Harrison joins Christine to speak about how to cope with all the stress of this year, why compassion is a requirement for your brain and health, how to identify and deal with addiction or unhealthy coping strategies and SO much more. Dr. Harrison is the Chief Medical Officer and Co-Founder of Eleanor Health, a value-based provider of compassionate, comprehensive, outpatient addiction treatment. Approachable and energetic, she has been known to explain medical concepts with an ease and humor that results in her audiences developing understanding of difficult material while having a good time doing it! She has written and presented several articles and workshops on the medical aspects of addiction and other psychiatric disorders, and has consulted on the same topics both nationally and internationally. Despite the credentials, she prides herself on being a regular ol' person who loves regular ol' people. She will tell you the most important accomplishment of her life is her husband and two teenage sons. Nzinga (yes, first name basis!) is excited to embark on this podcast journey, and can't wait to answer any and all questions you may have about addictive or other psychiatric disorders. Learn more here: https://www.eleanorhealth.com/team

This call is about breaking out of patterns and unhealthy relationships. Elizabeth calls in asking for daily mantras, actions, and tools to help her feel worthy of a loving relationship. She is struggling with enoughness. She wants to get over a "toxic" relationship from her past and truly embrace, rather than sabotage, the healthy relationship she is in now. We get to the fundamental ouch or significant life event that created the misunderstanding that perpetuates her feelings of not being enough. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode279] The feeling of not-enoughness is a major human problem. Eventually, we will evolve out of this not-enoughness thinking and raise children differently so we all don't have to have this major human epidemic. Know that by listening to this show, doing inner work, and feeding yourself the truth, you are doing your part to evolve human consciousness. Nothing outside of you can fulfill you and nothing external comes to you until you truly know that you are worthy and enough. That being said, we live in an interdependent world. And, although we cannot look to the outside world to make us happy, it is important to feel connected to others and attract and nurture healthy relationships, no matter where we are in our journey. The brain may confuse familiarity with love because it was wired from an early age to make love an equation. Many learn that if they act a certain way they will get love. Conditional love can feel familiar. But, worthiness is not conditional. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you struggle with not feeling enough? Have you ever had a "toxic" relationship? Do you doubt that the people in your life really love you and see you? Do you fear that you will not measure up in some way? Is there a fierce inner critic that lives inside your head? And, even though you know you should be nicer to yourself, you can't seem to change your self-talk? Elizabeth's Question: Elizabeth is searching for some daily mantras or actions that will make her feel enough and worthy. Elizabeth's Key Insights and Ahas: She is having difficulty connecting her intellect with her heart. She feels not enough and that her life is pointless. She verbalizes the chaos she feels in her mind. She was in an eight-year "toxic" relationship. She has "love" attached to feeling a certain way. She has trouble quieting her inner critic. How to Get Over It and On With It: Be in the present moment and feel her feelings. Stop and breathe when her mind starts racing. Realize nothing is wrong with her. Forgive herself for confusing familiarity with love. Give her inner critic a new job description. Practice release writing when her inner critic is bratty. Takeaways For You: If you struggle with not-enoughness, when you feel it coming on, stop and think that you are hungry for the truth. And then, feed yourself some truth. Watch your language and watch what you are affirming. Slow down! Drop in and breathe. Give things you want to shift a new job description and a new role. If you want some additional help join my Personal Mastery Course. Join us for the Be the Queen program. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Christine's guest today is A'magine, a sex educator and author who guides people into sexual empowerment. A'magine has been teaching and speaking about sexuality for over two decades, including her TEDx talk "Owning Your Sexual Power." She is author of Woman on Fire: Nine Elements to Wake up Your Erotic Energy, Personal Power and Sexual Intelligence and co-author of the best-selling classic Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men. Often conversations about sexuality can push a lot of buttons - this conversation is the opposite of that! You will feel reassured, seen, and empowered with steps to have a more fulfilling sex life! Learn more about A'magine and her programs here: https://www.amyjogoddard.com/

Do you know the value of positive thinking but just can't seem to shift out of negative thinking? This coaching session is about expectations and shifting negative patterns. During this call, we examine Danielle's past to understand what formed her current expectations and get to the root of why she is sabotaging herself in relationships. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode278] Any habituated response, feeling, or pattern of behavior you are currently engaged in was created a long time ago and you created it for a reason. If you really want to shift something you must get curious about the origin of it. Your expectations about what could or could not happen in your present or future life are based on what has happened in your past until you consciously choose to update them. Significant life events and/or repetitive events trigger us to form beliefs. These beliefs cause us to form expectations about life, others, and ourselves which impact our present and create our future. And, any "negative" pattern we want to change has a payoff and usually can't be changed overnight. That's why it is important that we learn what the payoff is and learn how to get it in a more positive way. While it's important not to become a victim in your life or be stuck in your story so much so that your past becomes an excuse or scapegoat for why you don't have what you want, it is important to acknowledge it and understand how it is impacting you. Stefanos and I created a series of eight prescriptive breathwork and meditation tracks you can use anytime. If you order by January 15, 2021, get $30 off your purchase at ChristineHassler.com/breathwork when you enter code "HOLIDAY". Your beloved exists. Start cultivating the relationship now by signing up for the upcoming Be the Queen program. It includes live sessions and one-on-one support. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen and read the testimonials. Starting January 24, 2021. Sign up now to get access to the bonus session on January 14th. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you a negative thinker? Do you tend to sabotage things before they even get started? Is anxiety something you would like to feel less of? Do you desire a healthy, loving relationship? Are you the child of immigrants? Danielle's Question: Danielle would like to know how to relieve herself of self-imposed anxiety and negative thinking in relationships and dating. Danielle's Key Insights and Ahas: She has become comfortable with her negative thinking. She creates a frenzy inside of her. Her parents got divorced. She has fun memories of her childhood. She saw her parents fighting. She feels she needs to protect herself from being caught off guard. She used her negative thinking as a shield to feel safe but it also keeps love out. She is always in fight-or-flight mode. She is a first-generation Cuban American. She found her life coach through prayer and intention. She will change her inner dialogue. How to Get Over It and On With It: Identify her negative thinking, thank it for protecting her and ask her mind to help her to determine a true statement for what is happening. Consider attending the upcoming Personal Mastery Course and the Signature Retreat. Work with a healer to do some energetic bodywork. Cut some cords energetically. Takeaways: Be aware of what you affirm with your thoughts. Get curious about your past. What were the repetitive events or significant life events in your past that cause your expectations and how are they affecting your life now? Anything you would label as negative or a pattern you want to change, identify the payoff, and find a way to get that payoff in a more positive way. Always approach your growth, development, and healing with love and curiosity. Don't be afraid to reach out for support. If you resonated with a lot of what came up in this coaching session, my Personal Mastery Course would be a great next step for you. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This is a special, loving and timely episode. One of my dearest friends and someone I turn to frequently for intuitive guidance and reassurance, Rebecca Tait, joins me to discuss how we can process 2020 and prepare for 2021. Bec is a gifted psychic who provides intuitive guidance to people who feel stuck or uncertain in various aspects of their personal and professional life. You can set your own personal session with Bec here: https://www.justaskbec.com/ To get Christine's 40 day journal and to-do list, go here: https://christinehassler.com/40-day-journal/ To grab your download of our Breathwork and Meditation series and get $30 off using the promo code HOLIDAY go here: https://christinehassler.com/breathwork/

This call is about moving out of victim and regret to fast-track healing. Today's caller, Leah, is still getting over a breakup and is starting to feel hopeless about the marriage and family she wants to call in. Even if you haven't had a breakup, this call is for anyone who is not where they want to be in life. It is a great example of what happens when we stay in the victim-perpetrator pattern. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode277] If you have been in a relationship or a situation you felt was a waste of time and wish you wouldn't have done it, understand that it had happened to get you into the fast lane for healing. Issue-based relationships, even though they are difficult to go through, they jolt us into recognizing childhood wounds that need to be healed for us to have healthy adult relationships. If we want a healthy, authentic relationship that is not a repeat of our childhood issues, we need to do the inner work. There are no "blocks" to what we want, there are just unresolved issues to what we haven't healed. We have to do the healing work before we can attract healthy things. Your beloved exists. Start cultivating the relationship now by signing up for the upcoming Be the Queen program. It includes live sessions and one-on-one support. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen and read the testimonials. Starting January 24, 2021. Sign up now to get access to the bonus session on January 14th. Let's transition into 2021 together. In the latest Coaches Corner, I add a ritual to wrap up 2020. As a Holiday gift for you, Stefanos and I created a series of eight prescriptive breathwork and meditation tracks you can use anytime. If you order by January 13, 2021, get $30 off your purchase at ChristineHassler.com/breathwork when you enter code "HOLIDAY". Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have something in your life; a breakup or something else from your past you can't seem to get over and you're stuck in regret? Do you beat yourself up for choices you made in the past that you have no control over changing now? Do you find yourself craving a family or a partner because you didn't have a loving family? Do you have anger toward someone it is time to let go of? Leah's Question: Leah would like guidance on how to get over a bad breakup and begin to manifest a healthy, long-term relationship. Leah's Key Insights and Ahas: She was traumatized by a bad breakup two years ago. She is disappointed by the lack of progress in her personal development and healing work. Her parents divorced when she was young and there were no strong bonds formed with either of them. She resents her mother and feels neglected. She feels betrayed and used by her ex. She does not feel a deep connection to anyone since her ex. She is giving him a lot of power over her. She wants to work on trusting herself. She has done therapy but has difficulty sticking with it. She moves in between the victim and perpetrator archetypes. How to Get Over It and On With It: Do not take the situation personally. Realize her worthiness and value. Stop beating herself up. Release her anger by doing the Temper-tantrum and release writing practice from Expectation Hangover. Join the Be the Queen program. Be grateful for the lesson and give herself what she needs. Stay in compassion when she feels helpless or hopeless. Work with someone who will follow her divine timing. Takeaways: Consider doing the anger release or the release writing practice and look at where you are in a victim and perpetrator pattern. Remember, if you are healing an aspect of yourself, you are not healing all of you. Sponsor: Rothy's — Give yourself stylish, comfortable, versatile shoes made from eco-friendly material, including repurposed plastic water bottles and marine plastics from Rothy's. They are the softest shoes you will ever put on your feet. Check out the latest shoes, handbags, and masks from Rothy's by using this link Rothys.com/over. With free returns and exchanges on eligible products. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Christine leads you through part two of her annual new year's ritual and guides you through a meditation/visualization to consciously call in 2021. You can access the breathwork and meditation series Stef and Christine created and get a holiday discount using code HOLIDAY at https://christinehassler.com/breathwork/

This call is about healing shame by sharing your truth with the people you love. Today's caller, Scott, is concerned about how his parents will react when he shares a childhood secret with them. He is asking for guidance on how to approach the subject without upsetting them. If you relate to holding in a secret, or things you do not want to say or do not know how to bring forward you will find this conversation helpful. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode276] Revealing secrets is difficult for many of us. Sometimes it is easier to keep things brushed under the rug when we do not want to deal with a particular conversation. But, secrets can be toxic and carry shame. Do I believe that we should tell the people we love everything? I don't know. Not always. But, when it is something we allow to perpetuate a pattern that protects others, especially our parents, above speaking our truth, often the truth will prevail. When we speak our truth we must do it with love. Protecting our children is one thing, but protecting our parents is a different conversation. If we are trying to protect our parents, we are taking on the parental role. I'm not saying that we should not consider their emotions. However, if we have a pattern of being the parent, and worrying about our parents while sacrificing our truth and our vulnerability, it is different. Your beloved exists. Start cultivating the relationship now by signing up for the upcoming Be the Queen program. It includes live sessions and one-on-one support. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen and read the testimonials. Starting January 24, 2021. Sign up now to get access to the bonus session on January 14th. Let's transition into 2021 together. In the latest Coaches Corner, I add a ritual to wrap up 2020. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have a secret from a family member or friend and you want to share it but you are afraid of upsetting them so you keep it inside? Did you grow up feeling alone? Were you the person who had to protect family members or parent your parents? Are you ready to break patterns that don't serve you anymore? Scott's Question: Scott is looking for guidance about sharing a secret with his family he has had since childhood but does not want to upset them. Scott's Key Insights and Ahas: He fears the shame and blame associated with sharing his secret. His story will soon be widely shared. He wants to protect his family. He is speaking with a professional therapist. He feels it is an important part of his story. He felt he had to be brave for his family. He stays away from his family and feels alone. He felt he had to parent his parents. He finally feels seen. He does not want to hide any longer. How to Get Over It and On With It: Be aware he can not control someone else's feelings. Deliver his secret from a loving place. Tell his parents about his loneliness. Be authentic, loving, and vulnerable when he speaks with his parents. Ask Yourself: Where are you not being authentic? Where are you not being vulnerable? Where are you not speaking your truth because you are too afraid of someone else's reaction? In what ways were you not able to be a child in your relationship with your parents? How can you take your rightful place, as a child, within your family? Sponsor: Natural Shilajit Resin is collected high in the mountains and contains a powerful mineral used in ayurvedic medicine that naturally detoxes your body, increases stamina and energy, and protects your cells against aging. To receive your 10% discount, go to ChristineHassler.com/resin and use the promo code 'overit' at check out. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] [email protected] — For information on any of my services. Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.