Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This episode is about taking the pressure off of a decision. Today's callers, Demi and James, have different religions but both value faith. They have both drawn in someone who challenges their rigidity in their belief systems. They would like guidance on whether or not their differences can be overcome. We work through that it is possible to understand another person's belief system without making it wrong and that we can believe different things and still love each other. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode351] The purpose of a relationship isn't to get married at a certain time or to have a certain number of kids. Remember, everything in life is for our growth and evolution and to move us out of judgment and fear and more into love. In relationships, we are not always going to agree. It's important that we have differences in relationships because we don't want to marry ourselves. But, our differences can't be extreme. We can differ in personality and preferences. For example, we don't have to be compatible in terms of liking the same music but we do need to have the same values. We can believe different things but we can still love each other. If you zoom out of all the guidelines and beliefs of all religions, what it all comes down to is love. Whatever God or religion you believe in, it is about love. Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you ever been or are you in a situation where you may have to compromise about a value that is important to you? Have you ever broken up or not dated someone because they don't subscribe to the same political ideology or they are not of the same religion? Or, have you written someone off because you consider those things a dealbreaker? Are you in a relationship where you had potential deal breakers but you've found your way through or are you in a relationship now where you wonder if something is a dealbreaker? Demi and James's Question: Demi and James have different religious beliefs and would like to know if it will become an issue that cannot be overcome. Demi and James's Key Insights and Ahas: They are taking a break from their relationship. They are willing to do whatever it takes to overcome the differences. James questions his beliefs. James is finding it difficult to overcome the religious differences. They get stuck when it comes to how to raise their children. Demi believes being Jewish is not something you can walk away from. There are some aspects of Christianity that seem unhealthy to Demi. Demi admires James for his faith. James is hurt because he feels as if his Christian identity is the enemy. This is the best relationship Demi has ever been in. They have a hard time defining boundaries. They have mutual respect. Demi is afraid to wait for a year because of her age. How to Get Over It and On With It: Look at the relationship through the eyes of love. Date for a year to figure out how they work as a couple without deciding whether or not the relationship is long-term. If they do work after a year, seek out a counselor who specializes in blended faiths. Talk about their values and dreams they can get excited about together. Takeaway: If you are trying to make a big decision about something, where are you putting too much pressure on yourself? Maybe it's not time to make a decision. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you ever struggle with anxiety, worry or even depression, do NOT miss this episode. One of the leading voices in personal development and transformation and an international bestselling author Mel Robbins joins Christine and gives a TON of soothing and practical advice for creating more calm in your life. Mel's work includes the global phenomenon The 5 Second Rule, the upcoming The High 5 Habit, four #1 bestselling audiobooks, the #1 podcast on Audible, as well as signature online courses that have changed the lives of more than half a million students worldwide. Her groundbreaking work on behavior change has been translated into 36 languages and is used by healthcare professionals, veterans' organizations, and the world's leading brands to inspire people to be more confident, effective, and fulfilled. As one of the most widely booked and followed public speakers in the world, Mel coaches more than 60 million people online every month and videos featuring her work have more than a billion views online, including her TEDx talk, which is one of the most popular of all time. There's nothing Mel loves more than making a real difference in people's lives by teaching them to believe in themselves and inspiring them to take the actions that will change their lives. Mel lives in New England with her husband of 25 years and their three kids, but she is and will always be a Midwesterner at heart.

This episode is about step-parenting from a healed place. Today's caller, Kendra, has two step-children who are triggering her anxiety. She then feels guilt and shame about being angry. We work through her past issues that are coming up to be healed and how she can navigate the situation in a way that is beneficial to her and her step-children. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode350] Anxiety is not bad. It is an alarm system that is alerting us to something we are not paying attention to. There is something we are repressing or that needs our awareness. The energy of anxiety is frenetic energy. It is when the nervous system is hyper-aroused due to a trauma, a past memory is being activated or, we are repressing such big emotions our nervous system is overloaded. When that happens we likely go into fight, flight, or freeze. When we are in survival brain, all the personal development tools we've learned aren't accessible. So, don't beat yourself up if you have done a lot of work but still get triggered in the moment or your nervous system is dysregulated; you are in a part of your brain that doesn't have access to those tools. And, just like our children choose us or we have soul contracts with certain people when we are a step-parent, those children choose us on some level as well. There are so many challenges that can come with blended families. In a divorce, there is often so much guilt that a parent may collapse some of their parental boundaries and let the kids get away with more than they would normally. Would you like to work to heal your inner child? Our Inner Child workshop was taught live but now you can get access to the recording. It includes coaching and experiential meditations. Go through it at your own pace, at any time. Go to ChristineHassler.com/innerchild at checkout and use the promo code 'OVERIT' for $50 off. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you notice yourself being triggered by your children or step-children and then feel guilt or shame about it? Do you have anxiety that has gotten worse due to a situation? When you were growing up, what were your tween and early teenage years like? Was it a difficult time? Do you think you have dealt with it? Do you often have anger or frustration at your spouse because of the way they are parenting? Kendra's Question: Kendra would like guidance on how to have connection and a relationship with her step-children while paying attention to the anxiety that triggers her. Kendra's Key Insights and Ahas: Her partner has two children from a previous marriage. They have 50% custody of the children. The situation affects her life and has always caused her anxiety. She has struggled with anxiety in other areas of her life. Her step-children bring high energy into their house. Her adolescence was confusing for her. She was raised in a traditional Christian home. She was made to feel as a female she should dim her light. She realizes the universe brought male step-children into her life for a reason. She lost her example of unconditional love when she was starting puberty. During adolescence, she didn't have the same freedoms that boys in her life had. She feels anger and resentment toward her step-children and then feels guilty for it. She is angry at her husband for letting his kids treat him like they do. She has trust issues around men. How to Get Over It and On With It: Express her thoughts and feelings. Regulate her breath and bring herself into the present moment. Call her husband forward to enforce parental boundaries. Teach the kids to release their emotions and to have an anger burn. Know it is OK to get away from the house, or situation if she needs to. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Let's talk about finding the "one". You know the magical person who is your soulmate, your other half, the one who completes you. I say these things with a tinge of sarcasm but I don't inject the sarcasm because I am jaded or don't believe in love, it's there because of the misunderstandings regarding soulmates and the pain many of us go through when it comes to romantic relationships. I believe there are lots of "ones" out there for us. My definition of a soulmate is someone who helps our soul to grow. Sometimes it's through a gut-wrenching break-up, sometimes it's through dating someone who triggers us and sometimes it's through someone who just comes in, loves us and holds up a beautiful mirror to remind us of who we truly are. Soulmates can be romantic partners, friends, colleagues and even someone you share a plane ride with once and never see again. So, why are many romantic relationships so painful? 1. The relationships are mirrors which can trigger unresolved issues from our childhood. 2. We often look to a romantic partner to fill our needs that our parents did not meet. This doesn't attract the best people to us. 3. We may want a relationship so badly to fill our voids or make us feel less alone that we move into a fantasy-based relationship. Today's call with Michael is a beautiful example of masculine vulnerability and strength. He finds himself dating from a place of pain rather than from love. He wants to move past the feeling that he needs to prove himself to women. Michael's mother wasn't really there for him and so he ends up with women who don't treat him well and who are not really there for him. This is the problem with trying to fill a void left by a parent through dating. We long so badly for the love of a parent that we attract someone just like them, which re-opens our unhealed wounds. We have to bring love and forgiveness to those places inside and fill ourselves with our own loving acceptance. It's time to let go of our fears about rejection, abandonment and getting hurt. I have a free gift for all of my podcast listeners. Here is how to receive my free ebook and meditation downloads. E-mail [email protected] for information. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you longing for a soulmate so much that it is causing you to suffer? Do you keep dating the same person but they have a different face? Could issues from your childhood influence who and how you are dating? Are you in a fantasy based relationship? Could it be time to remove your rose-colored glasses? Michael's Question: Michael wants to know how to move past the pain of a previous relationship and how to know when the person he is dating is the right one. Michael's Key Insights and Aha's: He is trying to heal a core wound from his childhood through a romantic relationship He is putting a lot of pressure on the women he dates He realizes he keeps running back to fix past relationships He carries fear and his unanswered questions around with him He feels unworthy and feels he needs to prove himself to women His strength is in his vulnerability, his honesty and his courage How to get over it and on with it: He should forgive the misunderstanding that he is unlovable or anything in his past was his fault He needs to re-parent his younger self in a way he always longed for He needs to take a dating hiatus Assignments and Takeaways: Is there a little boy or girl inside of you that has some misunderstandings which really need to be healed? Could it be time to end or transform your fantasy-based or issue-based relationship? Perhaps it's time for a dating hiatus and taking some time to date yourself. Fall back in love with yourself and realize just how lovable you are. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram [email protected] [email protected]

This emotional episode is a great example of getting stuck in our story. Today's caller, Aurora, has had to overcome an incredible past. She has been through many challenges, and feels enough is enough. She wants her life to change. But as you will hear, she is still committed to the story. We discuss ways she can take her power back and shift out of victim. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode349] Our minds have a way of not allowing new information or tools in so we can integrate them. There is resistance to change because we all have a comfort zone with our suffering. As much as we think we want to change, do we truly want to? Holding on to trauma comforts us because it is familiar. And, if we try to tackle all of our trauma at once or solve everything that ails us at once, it will feel overwhelming. When we sit up in an open body position it tells our subconscious mind and our nervous system we are safe. Anytime we are hunched over, crossed-legged, or protecting our heart, solar plexus, or root chakra, it communicates to our subconscious mind that we may not be safe. Sitting up straight is how we step into our power. Because when we say step into our power, we are really saying step into our truth. Taking responsibility is huge when it comes to healing. Responsibility is not the same as blaming ourselves. Take responsibility for things you wish you would have done differently without blaming yourself. Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you had a toxic, or unhealthy relationship with your past that you have trouble breaking free from? Do you get stuck in the same story over and over again? Do you feel not enough? Do you have trouble stepping into your power? Aurora's Question: Aurora would like guidance on how to free herself from feeling not enough, to be able to express herself freely, and to get her power back. Aurora's Key Insights and Ahas: She told her ex-husband she needed some space. She got violent with her ex even though she didn't want to. She doesn't condone violence. Her ex believes that once she got what she wanted from the relationship she ended it. She has been judged and traumatized by her older sister. A teacher body-shamed her and created toxic competitiveness. Her parents exhibit narcissistic attributes. She goes through a cycle of making progress and then starting over. She recently went through an intensive therapy treatment. She feels more at peace. She is proud of herself for doing the generational trauma healing work. She has suppressed herself for a long time. She has a habit of being emotionally collapsed. She is not so great at meeting her own needs. How to Get Over It and On With It: Sit in an open body position to let her subconscious mind know she is safe. Think about what her needs are and then give that thing to herself. Love and accept where she is, have compassion for herself, and work with what she has. Take her power back by forgiving herself for buying into any misunderstandings. Listen to this podcast, take responsibility, move out of victim, and believe she is able to shift out of this. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about moving into acceptance and forgiveness. Today's caller, Jen, is having a hard time getting to forgiveness because she doesn't believe her parents did the best they could. Her grudge may be costing her the very thing she longs for the most. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode94] One of the ways we get to forgiveness is knowing people did the best they could, even if we believe they could have done better. Knowing they did the best they could with the tools they had is one of the ways we can get to forgiveness. It can be difficult, especially when it was a parent or a loved one. Holding on to anger, blame, and resentment is toxic. It will eat you up inside and keep you from what you want. Continuing to use the past as a scapegoat for why you don't have want you want gives your past power. Until you move into acceptance and forgiveness, your past will infiltrate every aspect of your present and your future. Look at the places where you are not letting love into your life. Are you focusing too much on the people that didn't love you in the way you wanted, and missing out on all the love around you? Would you like to connect more with me and receive a resource to help you transform into owning your purpose? Use this link, ChristineHassler.com/SpiritJunkie to enroll in Gabby Bernstein's Spirit Junkie Masterclass by June 29th and receive access to the class, a one-hour one-on-one coaching session with me, a one-month membership to my Inner Circle Community, a download of my guided meditation CD and more. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Is there someone you have not been able to forgive because you truly feel what they did is unforgivable? ● Is there someone you are blaming for your not having what you want in your life? ● Do you tend to imagine worst-case scenarios and feel that things just don't go your way in life? ● Did you grow up around addicts or as the child of addicts? Jen's Question: Jen would like to forgive her mother and accept that her parents did the best they could. Jen's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She didn't get the love and attention she wanted as a child. ● She wants closure with her mother who recently passed. ● She feels broken. ● She's created the healthy family she always wanted. ● She is keeping herself from fully appreciating and accepting the love of her current family. ● She is using her past as a scapegoat. ● As a child, she had low expectations so she wouldn't be disappointed. ● It wasn't her job to save her parents. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She shouldn't identify with the victim role, and understand she received what she needed. ● She should stop mimicking her mother's behaviors. ● She should do projection work and let the love that exists in her current life in. ● She should have appreciation and have life-affirming and positive thoughts. Takeaways: ● If there is someone you want to hear something from, some kind of forgiveness, write a letter to you from them. Write down all the things you wanted to hear from them and read it to yourself. ● Do projection work. Look at judgments you have towards others and see how you may be doing it in your own life, externally or internally. ● Be honest about the cost of holding onto a grudge and write down what it is keeping you from. Write down all the blessings you have in life and how you may be blinded to them because of the grudge. ● Have positive expectations and use your imagination to consider the best-case scenario. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Coaches Corner with Gabby Bernstein — Turn Your Pain Into Purpose Inner Circle Membership Community @ChristinHassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram [email protected]

This emotional episode is about getting to the root of anger to be able to release it. Today's caller, Rose, has a deep-seated rage she directs toward her sister. But as we work through in the coaching call, she chose her sister, who poses less of a threat, to release her rage upon instead of the real person she is enraged with, her father. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode348] Whenever our reaction doesn't match with the circumstance, it means there is something else going on. Oftentimes, we have rage or anger just by being a human being on the planet, and we direct it at certain people or we become obsessive about certain people. The thing about anger is that it needs an exit route. It is a huge energetic wave and it needs a way to get out. Anger can leak out as irritability, addiction, aggression at other people or just being angry at ourselves. We spend so much energy keeping anger inside that we can get depressed or we might just direct it at someone who is an easy scapegoat but isn't actually the person we are enraged about. Go to ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease to get my Anger Release Program. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have a sibling or family member you are mad at and you can't shake it no matter how much work you do? Do you struggle with jealousy, envy, or wish you could have had someone else's life? Did you have a parent you were loyal to but as an adult, you question why you were so loyal? Do you have a hard time expressing your rage? Rose's Question: Rose struggles with her anger toward her sister and would like guidance on how to shift her feelings. Rose's Key Insights and Ahas: She formed an unhealthy alliance against her younger sister with her father. She loves her sister but feels deep rage toward her. She has done a lot of work around the issue. She has always felt mad at her sister and has taken her frustrations out on her. She didn't feel seen or appreciated as a child. She feels her sister takes her oxygen when they are in the same room. She feels her mom blames her for how she treats her sister. Her father was explosive. She swallows her rage. She gets enraged by her sister's bigness and how strong she is. Her anger makes her feel darkly powerful, righteous, and justified. She feels it is not OK to be herself. She is really mad at her father for making her feel small as a child. Her father was fragile and was inappropriate toward her. Her father made her feel ashamed for growing into her womanhood. Her father took his life. She realizes she transferred her anger toward her dad onto her sister. How to Get Over It and On With It: Get the rage and anger out through an Anger Release exercise or by writing F-U letters she doesn't send. Fully accept herself for who she is. Not be afraid of her rage because it is where her passion lives. Stay focused on who she is mad at to get to grief and then forgiveness. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Inner Child

This episode is about patience and becoming a loving partner to ourselves so we are ready to call in our soul match. Today's caller, Asma, is ready to call in a partner but may have some work to do around building faith and trust based on her inner child's wounding. Even if you are not looking for your person, you will get value from the conversations about patience, trust, and relationships. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode347] It's easy to believe in the magic of the universe when everything is going our way. It's harder when we are scared or things aren't going along with our plan. So many of our core trust issues come from our childhood. They come from the survival skills we adopted. That is where trust wounds begin. Surrender invites the masculine in because it is fiercely brave. It is a deep level of trust in our intuition, a higher power, and in life because we relinquish control. It creates receptivity and an entry point for the masculine. Most healthy masculine men don't like being told what to do. Those of us who are more on the spectrum of controlling have less faith and trust. Part of the way we deal with our spiritual crisis and our fear of trust and surrender is to over plan, over control, and be overly self-sufficient. When it comes to relationships we don't have as much control because another person is involved. When it comes to love, the other person is on their own timeline, even when we may feel ready. Our soul-match people are harder to find because we are growing with them, not growing from them. Soul match people share our visions and values and match more where we want to go instead of where we have been. It requires a person who has done their work. To all the single women who want to call in their person, I encourage you to take the Be the Queen course. Be empowered and intentional about calling in the relationship you desire. Experience a complete transformation. Get $200 off at ChristineHassler.com/bethequeen with the promo code "OVERIT". Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel like you have done the work but wondering where your prize is? Are you divorced or broken up and back in the dating scene and find yourself being impatient? Do you have a pattern of dating emotionally unavailable people or people who are not ready for a relationship? Are you patient with yourself or do you have a harsh inner critic? Asma's Question: Asma has wounding from a previous relationship but has done the work. She feels ready to receive her new partner but grows impatient with the lack of candidates. Asma's Key Insights and Ahas: She married young and is now divorced. She has done a lot of personal development work. She has created the home life she wants. She is ready to attract a partner with whom she feels a deep alignment. She is impatient and hard on herself. She wants a masculine man. She would like to develop trust. She didn't feel seen or heard by her father but she has abandonment wounding. Some men she dates are not ready to be in a relationship. How to Get Over It and On With It: Work on being patient. Look at how she can become a good partner and lover to herself. Be upfront at the beginning of a relationship about where she is and where she wants to go. Be clear about what she wants and where she wants to go. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Nicole Sachs, LCSW is a speaker, writer, podcaster and psychotherapist who has dedicated her work and her practice to the treatment of chronic pain, symptoms, syndromes and conditions. She is the author of the book The Meaning of Truth, and the online course FREEDOM FROM CHRONIC PAIN. Her brand, The Cure for Chronic Pain, includes a Website, Podcast and YouTube Channel. Her personal experience as well as work with thousands of people around the world have shaped and evolved Nicole's theories, which serve to teach those suffering how to heal themselves completely with no medication or surgery.

This episode is breaking familiar generational patterns. Today's caller, Angel, grew up in a chaotic home. As an adult, he seeks out chaos and uses numbing strategies when he feels triggered. We work through ways he can recognize the triggers and how he can make them an opportunity for healing without self-blame or shame. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode346] Unraveling and healing from trauma in our childhoods take time. It is hard to deal with our past when we distract ourselves by things happening in the present or with numbing strategies. Because we are often drawn to what is familiar, not what is healthy, that gets a lot of us stuck. We keep going back to things we know are not healthy, then we get stuck in the cycle of self-blame and shame without being compassionate with ourselves. A trigger is a gateway to healing, but if we go to a distraction or a quick fix we miss the opportunity for deeper healing. It's about making the decision at the time of the trigger to go inside and that is when we do the work. A disorganized attachment style is formed when we have had a chaotic childhood. A disorganized attachment style is like a "come here, now go away" pattern. It is the wanting of attention and affection, wanting to be seen but also wanting to withdraw. When real intimacy and real love get too close, the person with a disorganized attachment style wants to push it away. If you want to learn more about attachment styles you can download a great group coaching call for only $20 at ChristineHassler.com/group-coaching-replays. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have trouble being alone? Did you grow up in a chaotic environment where you didn't feel seen and safe? Did you witness violence? Do you find yourself in a cycle of going into dysfunctional relationships or abusing a substance and you feel shame about it? Do you have a lot of awareness but feel you are not changing? Angel's Question: Angel seeks chaos and conflict and would like guidance on how to feel a sense of safety and be in his body. Angel's Key Insights and Ahas: His childhood home was chaotic. He is social around other people. He finds it difficult to be alone with his thoughts. He feels empty. He seeks out chaos in his life. He uses substances in excess. His cycle of shame repeats. He shut down as a child to cope with the domestic violence he witnessed. He feels not-enough and has a disorganized attachment style. He has never felt loved or safe. He is always looking to find what he didn't get as a child. He feels he has awareness. He feels comforted when other people are around. His intuition tells him he should wait to enter a romantic relationship. He was in a trauma-bond relationship that blew up. He finds it hard to forget the trauma he experienced as a child. He still lives with his mom, and he feels anger toward her when she tries to parent him. How to Get Over It and On With It: Have compassion for himself. Acknowledge himself and tell himself he is not alone. Have patience with his process and acknowledge his progress. Resist the urge to go to the quick fix when he feels triggered. Leverage triggers when they come up. Write a letter to his mother he does not intend to give to her. Make the intention to make relationships with male mentors or build up more healthy male relationships. Takeaway: Use the moments when you feel triggered to reach for a distraction or a numbing strategy, to instead leverage the triggering opportunity to use your healing tools. Find healthy male groups to be a part of such as Mpowered Brotherhood on Instagram. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about overcoming the pain our inner bullies create. Today's caller, Ravi, was bullied as a child, and uses his inner critic as a protective measure. He became isolated and disconnected from his intuition, and he cut off listening to his heart because he didn't want to feel. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode82] When we cut off our feelings we not only cut off the pain, but we cut off the love and inspiration as well. What happened in the past does not have to create your future. You can get over it and on with it, but you must be consciously committed to letting it go. To transform, you need love, wisdom, and compassion from your heart, and alchemy. I guided Ravi through a heart meditation, like this one from a Coaches Corner episode. Ravi experienced clarity after the meditation. His heart said it wanted expression through art. The next step was to transform his trauma and pain, but Ravi said he didn't want to go there. Remember, the fear of feeling pain is what keeps you from transforming it. It is possible to alchemize passion, or suffering, into something you love. It takes a lot of energy to suppress pain. If you have had trauma, it can be scary to go there on your own. You should find someone to work with, someone who can go there with you to hold a space for you. The more you listen to your heart, the more it speaks to you! Join me this September at my retreat in Bali. Visiting a magical place with like-minded people will transform your mind, body, and spirit. It's a unique experience where you can experience significant healing that will last the rest of your life. Email [email protected] to sign up. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you trying to figure out your issues or challenges in your head? ● Were you bullied, teased or criticized as a child or a teenager, and it still haunts you today? ● Do you have a past trauma you are terrified to address and feel? ● Would you say you live more in your head than in your heart? Ravi's Question: Ravi wants to know how to find purpose in his life. Ravi's Key Insights and Ahas: ● He disconnected from his conscious mind to cope with the trauma. ● He internalizes the external bullying. ● He's scared of failure and being made fun of. ● He has managed his pain, but has not yet transformed it. ● He is in an avoidance pattern and protective mode. ● He's been in the midst of self-loathing. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● He should tap into the passion he experienced to create art. ● He could help other people who have been bullied. ● He needs to listen to his heart. ● He needs to start alchemizing his pain. ● He should practice release writing when he feels sadness. Assignments: ● Read The Lesson Quest and Your Life's Purpose in Chapter 9, The Spiritual Level in Expectation Hangover. ● Be honest about what you are attempting to figure out, and alchemize it. ● Listen to my Coaches Corner with Jim Kwik. ● Volunteer and be of service to someone else to help you with your inner critic. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Over It and On With It Listener Survey Expectation Hangover Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram [email protected] for Bali Retreat Information Bali Retreat Enrollment Page

This episode is about communicating with someone who has more of a controlling and rigid personality structure. Today's caller, Danielle, would like to reduce the friction between her and her husband when it comes to their parenting priorities. I coach Danielle on how to work with her husband to be a little less rigid and less controlling when it comes to her sons and when it comes to herself. And, how to get her sons to express themselves emotionally. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode345] When we are butting heads with someone, trying to get them to see our side of something will never work. Having curiosity and compassion for the other person's model of the world and the way they see things is the way forward. A lot of men, boys, and those who identify as masculine have been conditioned to suppress, to be less emotional, and that their value is the security and legacy they can provide or the money they can provide. Oftentimes emotional connection, the ability to be in their heart, the ability to trust, or to have more of a connection with their feminine side is difficult because there has been so much attention on the other. Remember, when someone says that something made them stronger it generally doesn't mean they now have the courage to be vulnerable and to seek help, to think deep into their wounds, to dig into their generational patterns to transform their experience. When children are not raised with the ability to have autonomy, sovereignty, and speak up for themselves, it can go one of two ways. Either they become overly compliant and get pushed around or they become overly aggressive because they are trying to get their power back. A lot of us can relate to us having differences in the way we see the world and what we think is right. Anytime we can heal a division in our home or within our families, it has a ripple effect elsewhere. So, at a time when it seems there is a lot of division, finger-pointing, and judgment in the world, shifting this in the home helps to collectively shift it. Are you in a relationship right now and you would like the relationship to be better? Or, your relationship is at a point where it is falling apart and you want to save it? Would you like to know what makes a relationship work? You can at any time by going to christinehassler.com/relationshipcourse. Listeners of this podcast get $50 off with promo code 'OVERIT'. Learn how to bring the zest back into your relationship. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you find there is someone in your life who is controlling and you wish they would be more intuitive and more emotionally available? Do you find it is hard to set boundaries with someone who is structured and set in their ways? Is it hard for you to have compassion for your partner or children because you are frustrated by what they are doing? Are you willing to see the little child inside of the adults you love and have compassion for the way they act the way they do? Danielle's Question: Danielle would like to know how she can enforce boundaries with her children while respecting her husband's role in the family. Danielle's Key Insights and Ahas: She set boundaries to keep burnout at bay. She and her husband lead a busy lifestyle. She and her husband are both active military. Her husband is high-energy and she is more passive. She values her parenting skills. She wants her boys to grow up with sovereignty. Her boys are diagnosed with ADHD/ADD. Her husband may have wounds around his relationship with his father. She is triggered by her husband's actions. How to Get Over It and On With It: Carve some time out with her husband to ask him what he wished would have been different between him and his father. Realize her husband has a father wound and she may be dealing with a tender little boy inside. Acknowledge her husband when he does emotional work. Approach her husband in a way that doesn't make him feel judged. Lean into her vulnerability and speak her needs in an empowered way. Create a fun way to empower her boys to express themselves. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Do you know the value of positive thinking but just can't seem to shift out of negative thinking? This coaching session is about expectations and shifting negative patterns. During this call, we examine Danielle's past to understand what formed her current expectations and get to the root of why she is sabotaging herself in relationships.

This episode is about releasing the judgment of our past decisions. Today's caller, MJ, was betrayed by her ex-husband and when she divorced, became a single mother of two. As she focused on raising her children, she neglected her sensual side and has not been on a date. She would like guidance on how to reclaim her life and get more out of her interpersonal relationships. We talk a lot about betrayal and holding on to judgment of our past selves. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode344] Hindsight is 20/20. Many people can relate to making a choice in the past they probably wouldn't make today that they are still beating themselves up for. When we do that to ourselves we are in the past and we completely block all the amazing things that can come into our present and future. Sometimes we don't forgive ourselves because we think that holding on to the judgment of ourselves will keep us from making the same mistake. In order to have a life and a future, we must forgive our past. Not just the people in the past but the former versions of ourselves in the past. As long as we are beating ourselves up for our past decisions we are fractured. We are at odds with a part of ourselves. Good luck having a rich, full, amazing life, being connected to our sensuality, having friendships, or having the relationship of our dreams if we are at war with a part of ourselves. We have to be at peace with all parts of ourselves. Have compassion for yourself and know that you did the best you could in your past. We don't have to stay at war with ourselves. We can invite all parts of ourselves into our hearts and deeply, truly, and fully forgive ourselves. If you want to do deeper work and you resonate with my coaching, I encourage you to join Personal Mastery. It is the foundational training of my work. I take you through how to transform and heal on the emotional, mental, behavioral, and spiritual levels. There are so many tips and tools. Personal Mastery is also a community. There are monthly calls and a Facebook group. Get coached by me without being on the show. Go to ChristineHassler.com/mastery. Get $100 off the course by typing in 'OVERIT' as the promo code when ordering. Consider/Ask Yourself: Was there a choice you made in your past you are still beating yourself up for? Have you been betrayed by someone or multiple people and you judge yourself for it? Do you have a difficult time connecting to your sensuality or sexuality? Have you been focused on raising your kids or your career, or both, and you want to get back out in the dating world but are not sure where to start? MJ's Question: MJ would like guidance on how to break down the emotional wall she put up after a divorce and flourish in her interpersonal relationships. MJ's Key Insights and Ahas: She divorced and became a single mother 10 years ago when her ex betrayed her by having a secret life. She has neglected her sensuality. She hasn't been on a date in seven years. She has put up an emotional wall when it comes to friendships and romantic relationships. She felt ashamed of who she chose to marry. She holds a belief that you cannot completely rely on men. She was naive when she was younger. She hasn't forgiven herself for marrying her first husband. She believed she needed to be punished. How to Get Over It and On With It: Forgive herself and reclaim the lost part of herself by releasing the shame and judgment. Integrate her younger self back into her life. Takeaway: Think about past parts of you that you hold judgment toward and forgive yourself to make yourself whole. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

When Luke Storey hosted me on his podcast, we went on a deep dive into everything from revealing personal insecurities to ego pitfalls to relationship attachment style. This episode has tools to cultivate self-love, set boundaries, and maintain healthier relations with yourself and those you invite into your life. You can learn more about Luke or reach out to him about working with him at https://www.lukestorey.com/ Inner Child Workshop

This episode is about giving yourself permission to have fun. Today's caller, Vicky, hasn't had fun in over a decade. She wants to but fears others will judge her for it. We work through what created the fear and how she can give herself a permission slip to express herself in joy without worrying about what others will think. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode343] Often, what we are projecting when we feel people are judging us is that we are judging ourselves. We need to challenge ourselves and say — so what? — if we are judged. What is the worst thing that can happen? As a child, it can be scary. We can feel ostracized from school, we can feel like we are not getting our parents' love but as adults, if someone judges us we can let it be OK. It is one of the great things about being an adult. We can handle judgment differently. We choose how we react. If we do get devastated by someone else's judgment, it means our inner child is being triggered. If that happens we have to parent our inner child and give them permission to have fun. If it has been a week since you have had fun, it's time to have some. We can't be serious all the time, especially when there is so much stress, uncertainty, and heaviness. Fun, joy, and play are important. No matter how old we get, we cannot forget to play. Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you just been working on yourself but haven't had fun in a long time? Are you afraid to be expressive or fun because you are concerned you might be judged? Do you fall into the trap of not wanting to pursue things because you feel you must be perfect before you can do it? How often do you let your inner child come out and play? Vicky's Question: Vicky has done a ton of personal development work but still doesn't authentically feel as if she has connected to joy. Vicky's Key Insights and Ahas: She is frustrated that she still doesn't feel connected. She hasn't had a lot of fun since her 20s. She wants to experience joy. She feels she has to work hard. She fantasizes about being goofy. She is afraid of judgment. She is a life coach but doesn't feel she deserves the title. Her parents fought a lot in front of her. She felt pressured to keep the peace in her childhood family home. She doesn't feel safe or seen. She didn't get to have enough fun as a child. She gets caught up in "should be." How to Get Over It and On With It: Be present, curious, and explorative in the moment. Ask herself what she could do to make herself feel safe and seen. Lean into being goofy and having fun. Choose how she wants to respond when she feels not enough. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Michael Gay who is a therapist joins Christine to discuss how we deal and heal from trauma. He has his M.A. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling with a focus in Transpersonal Psychology. Michael has worked in the field of counseling for the last 14 years as a guide, therapist, and trainer. He was a Wilderness Therapy guide for 6 years, leading and facilitating deep transformational work with teens, adults, and families in the mountains and high desert. He has also worked extensively in the field of addiction and recovery. He specializes in work with depression, groups, trauma, PTSD, grief, and families. In addition to his M.A., Michael completed a 3 year training at the Gestalt Institute of the Rockies, and continues to train at the Gestalt Equine Institute. As a therapist and facilitator, Michael uses experiential and body based methods. Many approaches to therapy and inner work stay at the intellectual and cognitive level, which rarely or slowly affect deep structural change. Engaging in more experiential and embodied work seems to bring the shifts people were unable to find in mainstream therapy. You can learn more about Michael or reach out to him about working with him at https://www.michaelgaycounseling.com/

This episode is about the healing benefits of being heard and being reflective. Today's caller, Jonathan, didn't feel seen or heard as a child by his controlling parents. He has competing intentions and would like guidance on how to be more vulnerable and intimate in relationships. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode342] When in any type of relationship, especially a romantic relationship, if it is hard for you to express yourself or get things out or you feel interrupted or judged, utilize the talking stick (any object). Go to your partner and tell them you wish to communicate something and that you want to use the talking stick. When you are holding the talking stick you are the only one talking. When you feel complete you hand it to your partner. It is a great practice if you have a hard time getting things out. It offers a sense of permission for those who wish to be heard. Oftentimes, we interrupt each other a lot. There may be one partner who is more assertive and the other partner may retract more. The talking stick is a great remedy for relationships with communication issues. Another effective communication tool is reflective listening or perception checking. When we slow down communication it builds trust and safety with other people. When you have the avoidant attachment style one of the best ways to heal it is in relationship, practicing intimacy. Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you feel seen and heard as a child? Did you spend a lot of time alone as a child? Do you still spend a lot of time alone today? Do you trust love? When things get too intimate, too vulnerable, or too close do you want to bail but you long for love at the same time? Jonathan's Question: Jonathan would like guidance on being intimate in close relationships with others and with himself. Jonathan's Key Insights and Ahas: His dad was controlling. He didn't have friends over to play with as a child. He knew at age seven that he couldn't trust love. He keeps intimate relationships at an arm's length. He wants to be seen without judgment in relationships. He spent a lot of time alone in life. His father offered transactional love. He attracts women who are not in their healthy feminine who have similar traits to his mother. He took a self-discovery journey. He wants to be authentic but doesn't find others who are authentic. He has competing intentions. People talk over him and interrupt him all the time. He tried structured environments but they were not for him. He feels unsafe and untethered. He is enrolled in the Elementum Coaching Institute. How to Get Over It and On With It: Lean more into his masculine energy. Find people he can be authentic with and who listen to him. Anchor himself into who he is, what he believes, and what he desires. Write it out until it becomes clear. Embody his awareness. Ground himself. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about self-honoring choices, ultimatums, and jealousy in mother-daughter relationships. Today's caller, Kristin, is looking for guidance in how to proceed after her mother gave her an ultimatum. We also look at the compensatory strategies Kristin has adopted in an effort to deal with things from her childhood. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode118] What is a self-honoring choice? A self-honoring choice is an honest choice rooted in truth that comes from love. Kristin felt she was always in competition with her mother. She became a perfectionist as a compensatory strategy because she felt that she could only receive love if she was perfect. Through her growth work, she is starting to make self-honoring choices for herself. What are you passionate about? What you are passionate about is often a tie into our spiritual curriculum and our parents are part of that curriculum. Remember, we choose our parents as our teachers. When our parents don't see us for who we truly are, it can seem cruel. But, part of our soul journey is to heal from past cruelty. What do you long for from your parents? Be sure to check out Coaches Corner. Last week I talked about ghosting and flaky behavior, the week before I interviewed Jill about selling skills and I even answer questions. So, if you have a question for me, email [email protected]. Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there someone in your life you are not speaking to or have a strained relationship with? If you grew up with two parents, was one more challenging for you to get along with or close to? Do you tend to be attracted, date or marry people you feel you must earn their love? Do you know what self-honoring choices are? If so, do you make them regularly? Kristin's Question: Kristin would like to know how to approach her mother about a recent ultimatum. Kristin's Key Insights and Ahas: She was in an abusive relationship. She made a self-honoring choice. She was always in competition with her mother. Her mother was passive aggressive. She yearned for attention from her mother. Her parents had a horrible relationship. Her existence triggers her mother. She chose her mother. How to Get Over It and On With It: She should keep working on herself and stay strong to break the pattern of contorting herself to make her mother feel better. She should realize her mom may not be able to face her issues. She should continue making self-honoring choices. Takeaways: Where are you not making self-honoring choices because you are trying too much to please people? And, where are you not making self-honoring choices because you are trying to be the bigger person vs. speaking your truth? Why did you pick your parents and what are they here to teach you? Let go of who you want your parents to be. Accept the fact that if your mother or father truly saw what they needed to see about themselves in order to give you the apology you crave, it might break them. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram [email protected]

This episode is about reducing a trauma response when communicating with people who matter to us. Today's caller, Amanda, feels scared and goes into a trauma response when communicating with her partner. In her past, she felt disempowered in other relationships. She would like guidance on how to feel less afraid when communicating her needs. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode341] When we have been through a challenging situation or trauma that goes deep into our subconscious mind, body, and nervous system, we feel we have no power or control. That is why it is so traumatic. The more we empower ourselves to have control, speak our needs, and make a request the more we tell our body and nervous system that we are safe. Anytime we are in a trauma response we are time-traveling. Our physical body is in the present moment but our nervous system is in the past. Our brain has a hard time distinguishing whether we are in a safe place or are we in trauma. Maybe we had no voice, no power, and no dominion over our experience when the trauma occurred. But, the more we can set ourselves up at the beginning, the less likely we are to time-travel into the trauma response. In a relationship, as much as we are sovereign beings and know that no one can heal us, it is also reasonable and healing in a relationship to know each other's wounds. We can be sensitive to other people's wounds and do our part to help the other person grow. We are entitled to make requests when we are taking responsibility. We cannot ask someone else to change until we own our end and are doing the work. Only then can we make a request of someone else. My Personal Mastery course takes you through how to transform and heal on an emotional, mental, behavioral, and spiritual level. It is also a community with monthly group coaching calls and an interactive Facebook page. ChristineHassler.com/mastery. Get $100 off the course with the promo code OVERIT. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have trouble speaking up for yourself or communicating your needs? Do you often get angry and lash out because your needs aren't being met and you are not communicating? Do you have difficulty calming yourself down when you are in a trauma response? Do you know what it means to regulate your nervous system when you are in a trauma response? Amanda's Question: Amanda would like guidance on how to feel less afraid when it comes to communicating her needs to her partner. Amanda's Key Insights and Ahas: She gets triggered when communicating with her partner. She sometimes abruptly leaves confrontation. When standing her ground, she can feel angry. She has done EMDR with her therapist. Her partner has big energy. She fears communicating her needs. She felt powerless when her dad remarried. She wants someone to stand up for her. She has been in an abusive relationship. She is committed to being vulnerable. How to Get Over It and On With It: Move her energy by regulating her nervous system and getting herself into the present moment. Name her feelings when she wants to communicate. Remind herself she is a grown woman and her partner is not her stepmother. Have a conversation with her partner about a flinch response. Release the rage she feels toward her stepmother and ex through release writing and the temper tantrum technique. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

People pleasing will not get you the kind of love you long for. Why? Well, when you are putting other people's needs before your own, you are not being honest. You are not showing up authentically. People pleasing can range in severity from caring about what people think to being a doormat. In my view, no degree of people pleasing is a good thing and being a complete doormat is dangerous. Think of a doormat after being used over and over. This is what happens to your spirit and your spark if you allow people to walk all over you. Your light starts to dim. You start to fade and you start to wear down. The Importance of Connection When Going Through a Loss We are not meant to grieve alone. One of the most healthy aspects of grieving is having support. You may find it hard to ask for help but you are giving another person a gift when you are vulnerable with them. Do not suffer in silence and solitude. The things that help the most are often the hardest to do. During difficult times, we need to do the hard things to get to the healing place we long for. Today's caller Shaun called in for some guidance while going through his divorce. He may be putting himself last and has a habit of people pleasing which is making his divorce harder. Don't lose sight of yourself during a loss. I encourage you to be honest with yourself about your people pleasing patterns. Coaches take note - I try to stay as clear and neutral as I possibly can, but during some calls, like this one, I slip from empathy to sympathy. I found myself being protective of Shaun and judgmental of the situation. I then moved back to neutrality which allowed me to guide Shaun appropriately. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you going through a loss right now and feel disconnected? ● Do you relate to being a people pleaser or a doormat? ● Are you concerned about what people think of you and often put others' needs and opinions in front of your own? ● Is there someone in your life you need to draw some boundaries with? ● Do you have a solid support system of people or just one person you can turn to who will listen when you are going through something challenging? Shaun's Question: Shaun would like to know how to get un-stuck after being blindsided by a breakup from a 15-year marriage. He wants advice on how to move past the situation. Shaun's Key Insights and Aha's: ● He has a pattern of taking care of others at his own expense. ● He may be losing his identity. ● He doesn't have a social circle for support. ● He should reach out to new people and ask for help. How to get over it and on with it: ● He should step into his power and his strength and put himself first. ● He should meet new people and join new groups. ● He has the opportunity to gain healthy friendships. Tools and Takeaways: ● Be honest and look at the ways your people pleasing could be depleting you, blocking intimacy and potentially building resentment. ● Listen to this week's Coaches Corner for additional tips. ● Reach out to people, ask for support or just ask them to listen. ● Write down one thing which will help you the most but may be hard for you to do. Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram [email protected] [email protected]

This episode is about having anxiety about relationships. Today's caller, Gabby, has a pattern of getting into relationships, but something always happens and they don't work out. She would like guidance about how to reduce the amount of anxiety she feels about relationships. We work through her childhood wounding and discuss ways for her to meet her own needs and heal her inner child. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode340] Oftentimes, the relationships we draw in reflect our primary wounding from our primary caregivers and our relationship with ourselves. When the people who are our everything can't be everything to us in the ways we need it is devastating. It becomes an open wound that we carry around and identify in others. That is why it is so important to do family of origin healing and grieve our parents. It helps to bring our little one into the present day. It helps us to stop picking people who are like them. We have relationships that trigger our childhood, but they are relationships for healing. They are not the relationships that go the distance. If they do last a long-time, they can be difficult because our wounds are constantly coming up. And, unless you and a partner are willing to work through those together the relationship will be frustrating. When we heal our childhood wounds we can pick from our present-day self, our adult self, and we can choose someone who is more in alignment with where we want to go. Know that every relationship challenge moves us closer to a healthy relationship. Want to learn more about attachment styles? For just $20 you can hear a previous group call where I provide answers to questions at Group Coaching Replays. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have an avoidant attachment style? Do you have anxiety when it comes to being in a relationship? Is there a part of you who thinks you are too broken or don't know how to be in a relationship? Do you have unrealistic expectations of what you think a relationship should or could be? Do you feel you have done enough inner work to attract a healthy relationship based on your vision or values versus your past wounds? Gabby's Question: Gabby has been going through long-term relationship anxiety and would like guidance on how to reduce it. Gabby's Key Insights and Ahas: She cycles through romantic relationships. She believes issues in her family are still at play in her relationships. She feels she is going backward in this area of her life. She is proud of her independence and her accomplishments. She values love, family, and kindness. She has a lot to give and deserves a lot. She has done personal development work and therapy. Her relationships have been growth opportunities. Physical touch and words of affirmation are important to her. Her father was very loving but also very closed off. She worries about making the wrong decisions in relationships. She is exhausted. Her childhood was filled with confusion. How to Get Over It and On With It: Have compassion for herself as she moves through this. Consider how she can meet her own needs. Hold off on dating until she grieves and heals her father-wound. Check-in with herself daily with her hand on her heart and belly to see what she needs. Remember she is not broken. Takeaways: Have massive compassion for yourself, your process, and your growth. Look at where you are still hanging on to something from your past that makes you draw in people or experiences that are similar. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

I thought it would be fun to re-air the VERY first episode I recorded in October of 2022. We have ALL come so far since then. Thank you for being part of this community as we learn and grow together.

This episode is about shifting our protective patterns and taking risks. Today's caller, Christine, lost her husband five years into their marriage. She wants to date again but is blocked by the fear of losing love again. We take a deep dive into the foundation of her fear and how she can choose to love again. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode339] Love is risky. Loving is easily the riskiest thing we do, whether it is loving our partners, animals, friends, or children. Love is risky because if we lose it is devastating. Our hearts want to close because the risk is difficult but when we close our hearts we miss out on the opportunity to love more. There is no quota on how much we can love in our lifetime. Or, how many loves we can have. Love is infinite. To deprive ourselves of ever-expanding love is riskier than losing again. Shame grows on the things we keep in the dark but when we speak and bring things into the light it allows us to be held with love and compassion. That is how we soften judgment and allow intimacy in again. Diving deep is valuable. Anyone who says they are too damaged but is actively working on themselves isn't damaged. We are only "damaged" if we go into victim and never do anything to pull ourselves out. The only way to get protective parts to shift is to let them know that you are going to work with them to protect yourself in a different way. Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you had a loss in your life and you are hesitant to give something another try because you are afraid of another loss? Do you judge yourself for having baggage, especially if you are single, and feel no one will want you? Are you scared of losing a person, a dream, or does the fear of loss prevent you from going after your dreams? Is there a judgment you hold against yourself that is blocking you that you haven't forgiven yourself for? Christine's Question: Christine would like to start dating and would like guidance on how to move past the resistance she feels towards it. Christine's Key Insights and Ahas: Her husband died seven years ago. He was her only significant romantic relationship. She is ready to start dating again but finds excuses why not to. She feels stuck. She doesn't think someone will want her because of her baggage. She is still grieving her husband. She judges herself for things out of her control. She has been through a lot at a young age. Her desire to protect herself from loss is stronger than her desire to let someone new in. She feels paralyzed by grief and fear. She is actively working on opening up and loving again. How to Get Over It and On With It: Get clear about her willingness to take a risk on love. Forgive herself for her self-judgments. Honor her past relationship in a way that doesn't include blame or shame. Acknowledge her fear, thank it for protecting her, and tell it she will be protecting herself in a different way. Create a bigger fear. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

My dear friend, Rebecca Tait, joins me for the second time on the show. Last year she gave us incredible insight about what was ahead for us in 2022. This year she drops some big time wisdom on why we may feel stuck or like things aren't changing even though we are doing the healing "work." Bec is an intuitive coach who provides guidance to people who feel stuck or uncertain in various aspects of their life. Learn more here: https://www.justaskbec.com/

This episode is about how to heal self-worth issues. Today's caller, Samantha, was dismissed by her father and never feels worthy of anything in her life. She asks for guidance on how to heal, and to connect more deeply with her children. We discuss how she can release her self-judgment, replace it with compassion, and make it an opportunity to heal her inner child. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode338] For the most part, anything that happens before the age of 12, makes us into the adults we are. If we don't feel wanted by our parents, the people who are supposed to want us and love us, it creates a big core wound. When we have low self-worth we think we are a burden and we deprive people in our lives of showing up and giving to us. If we commit to personal development, we have to let go of self-judgment. We will not transform and heal if we judge ourselves. Love and judgment can not be in the same place. We can love the part of ourselves that judges us because we know it is just trying to protect us, but if we are frustrated with ourselves, transformation won't happen. When judgment and frustration come up, know that it is our inner child calling out to us to meet their needs. Enrollment for the 2022 Elementum Coaching Institute closes on March 2, 2022. It is a nine-month comprehensive coaching certification program. It is a mix of learning the best coaching tools and skills but also doing your own inner work. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you struggle with self-worth? Did you have a dismissive parent and felt you were in their way? Do you have a lot of awareness but things are not changing? As a parent, do you have trouble connecting to your children or your inner child? Samantha's Question: Samantha has a core wound of not feeling worthy. She would like guidance on how to shift it and connect more intimately with her children. Samantha's Key Insights and Ahas: She received answers from the people closest to her she didn't expect to hear. She has never felt worthy of anything. She has done personal development work from a young age. Her father was angry and dismissed her. She wants to be unapologetically herself. She is frustrated to have awareness but is unable to shift. She judges herself for how she feels. She feels like a robot and sensitive, yet she compartmentalizes her feelings. She feels she puts a target on her back for someone to attack her negatively. She suppresses her feelings. She is being her dad to herself. She finds it hard to connect with her daughter. She didn't feel protected by her mother. How to Get Over It and On With It: Replace her judgment and frustration with compassion. Connect with her inner child and ask her what she needs. Make a self-honoring choice to not see her father anymore. Use her judgments as opportunities to parent her inner child. Takeaways: The last live inner child workshop is an evergreen program. Go to ChristineHassler.com/innerchild to get the entire workshop. It is just like attending the live event and you can go through it at your own pace. If you have a self-worth issue, ask people for what you need and let them show up for you. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Whitney Goodman is the radically honest psychotherapist behind the popular Instagram account @sitwithwhit and owner of the Collaborative Counseling Center, a private therapy practice in Miami. She helps individuals and couples heal past wounds and create the life they've always wanted. In TOXIC POSITIVITY, Whitney offers a powerful guide to owning our emotions—even the difficult ones—in order to show up authentically in the world. Learn more about Whitney and her book here: https://sitwithwhit.com/

This episode is about letting go. Today's caller, Hannah, went into shock after the loss of her mother and is feeling panic and anxiety. We talk through how she has never really allowed herself to grieve. Letting go is one of those things that sound good, right? But when it comes to doing, it can be difficult, especially when it comes to letting go of a dream, person, relationship, or chapter of our lives. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode337] It is a big deal to lose anyone we love, especially when we lose a parent before we thought we would. Many of us know that once our parents age into their 80s and 90s, and their health starts to deteriorate, it can be an easier transition for us because we see them suffering and we want them to be in a better place. But when we lose someone suddenly, it can be shocking. There are a lot of traumatic emotions around an unexpected death. It is physiological energy that needs an outlet. Often, the energy manifests itself as panic and anxiety. Panic and sadness serve a purpose and many times extreme emotions are a cry for help. The person who needs to answer the cry out is us. It is an alert that we need to learn to parent ourselves. Grief sometimes gets a bad rap. Sometimes we feel we need to go through it quickly or do it in a certain order, or we worry we could get stuck in it. But, grief is more than sadness. It is about honoring the love, reminiscing, and appreciating how much we loved the person or thing we grieve. If you haven't already done my Calling in 2022, Stepping Into the New Year Ritual, and Release 2021 Ritual. They are available as Coaches corner episodes. Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you have a loss of some kind that you haven't fully processed or grieved? Do you know what healthy grieving looks like? Do you find yourself dealing with panic and anxiety and would like to shift it? If you did have a loss, are you holding some anger toward God or the universe and are having a hard time reconnecting to your spirituality? Hannah's Question: Hannah has been dealing with panic and anxiety since her mother's death last year. She would like guidance on how to handle what may be a traumatic experience in the future. Hannah's Key Insights and Ahas: Her mother died due to COVID-19. She has developed PTSD over her mother's death. Her husband is deploying to the military this year. She feels as if she is on auto-pilot. She felt solely responsible for the planning of her mother's funeral. She is afraid to grieve because she doesn't know how it will affect her. She is going to therapy. She experienced family trauma during her youth. She felt sad but people didn't notice. She and her mother shared a mutual passion for spirituality. She feels anger toward the universe for taking her mother from her. How to Get Over It and On With It: Read The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise. Allow herself to fully experience grief by considering it as honoring how much she loved her mother. Trust herself to feel to heal. Share her vulnerability with her husband. Express her anger with God and lean into her spirituality. When she is triggered, regulate her nervous system by using techniques to bring her into the present. Takeaways: Are there any areas in your life where you have moved through a loss or transition and you didn't allow yourself to grieve? Let your emotions out when you feel angry toward God or the universe. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Today I am joined by one of my dearest friends and someone who inspires me on the regular with her integrity, creativity, and depth of love. Danielle LaPorte is a member of Oprah's Super Soul 100, and former director of a future studies think tank in Washington, DC. She's the author of The Fire Starter Sessions, White Hot Truth and The Desire Map, which has sold over 300,000 copies. She's the creator of the Heart Centered Facilitator Program and Membership with 400+ leaders doing Heart Centered conversation circles and workshops in over 30 countries. Her podcast, With Love, Danielle often ranks in iTunes' Wellness Top 10 with over 1 million downloads. DanielleLaPorte.com was named "Top 100 Websites for Women" by Forbes, and has over 5 million visitors per month. Her charity of choice is Ally Global: helping survivors of human trafficking to rebuild their lives. She lives in Vancouver, BC. Find her on Facebook or Instagram @daniellelaporte.

This episode is transforming nervous habits and meeting unmet needs. Today's caller, Morgan, has a big part of herself that she wants to change. Her needs in childhood were unmet by her mother and she created a nervous behavior as a coping strategy. If you bite your nails, pick your skin around your fingers, pull apart split ends, or any other nervous habit you would like to transform, this episode will help. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode336] Understanding the why behind a behavior doesn't make it go away. We need to remember that a nervous behavior is a physiological manifestation of an emotion. It is an alarm system that alerts us that a need that wasn't met in childhood is still not being met. When we have a nervous habit, it is telling us that we are trying to calm or suppress something. Needs, especially in childhood, are real and important. If certain needs aren't met at certain stages in life, it hinders who we are as adults. It doesn't break us but it does impact us. There is a strong developmental need to feel nurtured, nourished, and to feel a calming presence. When we are children our nervous system is developing or imprinting. Needs that are not met in childhood haunt us as adults. Any primary need we didn't get met in childhood will continue into adulthood. Over time, we develop coping strategies to try to handle the anxiety around that unmet need. If we don't get our needs met, our coping strategies come with little alarm systems that alert us that we need attention. Anything is healable. The first step of any transformation is acceptance. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have a nervous habit you would like to break free from? Do you have shame around that habit? Did you grow up in a house with a parent or parents who had a lot of anxiety? Do you believe you can shift something or do you want to continue carrying around the story that you can't? Morgan's Question: Since childhood, Morgan has had a nervous habit of picking at her skin. She would like guidance on how to manage her anxiety in a healthy way. Morgan's Key Insights and Ahas: She's had a spiritual awakening recently. She grew up in a stable home. Her mother has an anxious personality and body image issues. She worried about her mother's anxiety. She started picking at her skin because she wasn't having her needs met. Her mother had conditions around giving love. She felt she had to earn love from her mother. She didn't feel nurtured as a child. She doesn't fully understand why she picks her skin. She feels shame around her habit. She doesn't know what she needs for herself or who she is. How to Get Over It and On With It: When she begins picking her skin, stop and ask herself how she can nurture and nourish herself at the moment. Read Discovering the Inner Mother: A Guide to Healing the Mother Wound and Claiming Your Personal Power and Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance. Acknowledge that she loves her mother but there were needs her mother didn't meet. Look at her skin and scars and have compassion for herself. Believe she can shift her behavior. Grieve her mother wound, do anger release, and let the resentment out. Takeaways: Think about the needs you did not have met as a child and consider how you can give them to yourself now. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dr. Thema Bryantis a clinical psychologist and president-elect of the American Psychological Association. She is also a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University and an ordained minister in the African Methodist Episcopal Church. With more than twenty years of experience in trauma recovery, she has appeared as a mental health expert on television, radio, and print media. Dr. Thema raises awareness about mental health issues on The Homecoming Podcast and her social media platforms. Her new book HOMECOMING: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self is road map for dismantling the fear and shame that keep you from living a free and authentic life. Learn more here: https://drthema.com/

This episode is about loving and accepting all parts of ourselves, even the ones that challenge us. Today's caller, Odeta, struggles with her attachment to wanting to change a critical part of herself. The judgment and attachment are what is preventing her from being able to shift it. Any part of ourselves we judge or shame or anything we attach ourselves to shifting just holds on stronger. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode335] Self-love is not a state of being where we are in complete unconditional love with ourselves all the time or we love all parts of ourselves all the time or we never get triggered. Maybe there are some people on the planet who live that way, but they are few and far between. No matter how much work we do, we are still human. We still have parts that maybe we don't like very much; maybe our inner critic comes up. Self-love is the same to me as self-assurance. It is radical self-acceptance. It is accepting all parts of us, even the ones we want to change. For all coaches or anyone in the helping field, it is important for us to be honest about where we are. Walking the talk isn't about being perfect. Walking the talk isn't about having it all together, that is more about wearing a mask. Walking the talk is about owning that we have areas where we are doing well and the areas where we recognize that we are still human and that we are still learning. To be an effective coach, therapist, or practitioner, you don't have to arrive at some magic place. It is more about having the training, the experience, the intention, and the skills to hold space for people as they go through things you have been walking through too. Take the expectation off of yourself that you have to be perfect. Stay human. Enrollment for the 2022 Elementum Coaching Institute closes on March 10, 2022. It begins mid-March. It is a nine-month comprehensive coaching certification program. It is a mix of learning the best coaching materials compiled into one curriculum. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you intend and strive for self-love but you can't seem to get there? Do you have a nasty inner critic or inner judge that gets in your way? Is it hard for you to love and accept certain parts of yourself but are dead set on getting them to change? Odeta's Question: Odeta has done a lot of personal development work but fear and judgment of her ability to self-love are holding her back from being her best self. Odeta's Key Insights and Ahas: She can be paralyzed by anxiety. She is a coach, yoga instructor, and breathwork facilitator. She is an inspiration to her clients but is critical of herself. She feels she is learning the same lessons over and over. She is an overachiever and then burns herself out. She has done a lot of personal development work. She feels like an imposter and wants to show up differently. She feels like her inner critic is an enemy. She was bullied and body shamed as a teenager and didn't understand why. She grew up in an immigrant family. She tried to be perfect at everything to better belong. Part of her is stuck in her adolescence. She feels resistant to shifting. How to Get Over It and On With It: Accept that she wants to shift certain parts of herself without being attached to it. Listen to the Coaches Corner interview with Dr. Richard Schwartz about Internal Family Systems. Begin a dialogue with her 12-year-old self and remind her that she is safe. Realize her inner child is trying to protect her and is not her enemy. Takeaways: Any aspect of you that you don't like, that you want to change, has a positive intention. Until you can fulfill that positive intention in another way it is going to hang on. The essence of self-love is loving and accepting all parts of ourselves. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Do you want to learn more about that voice in your head? Then you'll love this episode. Ethan Kross, PhD, is one of the world's leading experts on controlling the conscious mind. An award-winning professor at the University of Michigan and the Ross School of Business, he is the director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory. He has participated in policy discussion at the White House and has been interviewed on CBS EveningNews, Good Morning America, Anderson Cooper Full Circle,and NPR's Morning Edition. He is the bestselling author of CHATTER: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It

This episode is about shared values and looking at the part we play in the relationship. Today's caller, Sarah, feels she is at the end of her rope in her relationship and is not sure if she should stay in it or go. The discussion revolves around the different circumstances in her relationship and what we get to is that there is just not enough information yet. If you find yourself at a choice point in your life and are struggling with what to do, either you need more time, or you know the right path and you are resisting taking it. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode334] Many people ask if they should stay or go. Whether it is a relationship, job, or city it can be very difficult to make a decision. If the answer isn't clear, it means one of two things, either the answer is clear but we don't like it so we try to make it work. Or, we just don't have enough clarity about it. In which case, it may not be the right time to make a yes-or-no decision. For a relationship to be successful, there needs to be a level of growth and connection, a level of satisfaction, and the freedom to be ourselves in what we create together. Those are just a fraction of the things that define success in relationships. In a relationship, we must have shared values. At least three or four of our values must be mirrored by our partner. If you don't have shared values, what is the compass? What is your North Star? What truly brings two people together if not their shared values? Enrollment for the 2022 Elementum Coaching Institute is open. It begins mid-March. It is a 9-month comprehensive coaching certification program. It is a mix of learning the best coaching materials compiled into one curriculum. On Feb. 10, 2022, there is a free webinar; to sign up visit ElementumCoachingInstitute.com/go-pro-masterclass. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a situation where you are doubting whether you should end it or keep going? Do you feel like you are in a relationship where you feel you are focused on growth and you want your partner to be but they don't value it as much as you do? Do you show up more controlling in a relationship? Do you have communication breakdowns and issues in your relationships? Sarah's Question: Sarah is having communication issues in her relationship and feels that she is at the end of her rope when it comes to the conflict. She wants guidance on whether or not she should stay or go. Sarah's Key Insights and Ahas: She thinks her partner is a great guy. She has communication issues in her relationship. The couple had been in counseling but had to quit. She gave her partner an ultimatum about getting counseling. She has learned to express her needs. She values growth and personal development. She could be in a Journeymate relationship. When she wants to talk things out he gets triggered. They have been together for six years. She is intentional about her life. She feels as if she has to take care of everything and is doing all the work on the relationship. She perceived women to be weak when she was younger. She feels at the end of her rope. She wants to find balance in her life and get out of her head. How to Get Over It and On With It: Acknowledge her partner and thank him for his efforts toward therapy. Ask her partner if he wants similar things from their relationship. If she does end the relationship, she needs to own 50% of what is happening and see what lessons can be gleaned from it. Listen to the Coaches Corner interview with Dr. Richard Schwartz about Internal Family Systems. Start focusing on the family dynamics she grew up with. Takeaways: If you are in a relationship, consider what values you and your partner share. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

You are going to love this episode with Britt Frank who is a therapist, teacher, speaker, and trauma specialist who is committed to dismantling the mental health myths that keep us feeling STUCK and SICK. We talk about how to heal trauma, myths the wellness industry perpetuates, why you are NOT broken and so many other juicy topics! Brit's work focuses on empowering people to understand the inner mechanisms of their brains and bodies. When we know how things work, the capacity for CHOICE is restored and life can and does change. Whether she's leading a workshop, teaching a class, or working individually with private clients, Britt's goal is to educate, empower, and equip people to transform even their most persistent and long-standing patterns of thinking and doing. Britt is also the author of the upcoming book The Science of Stuck—available March 15th wherever books are sold. It's a research-based tool kit for moving past what's holding you back—in life, in love, and in work. Learn more here: www.thegreenhousekc.com

This episode is about the dangers of sweeping things under the rug in relationships. Today's caller, Angela, is looking for clarity about why she is frustrated and triggered in her family relationships. We discuss ways she can speak her truth with love, use her voice, and stand in her power in her relationships and her life. She brushes things under the rug. If you identify with being a people pleaser, someone who prefers to avoid conflict, or shrug things off when they happen but internalize it later this is a great session for you. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode333] When we don't stand in our power in our lives, we can't stand in our power in relationships. Standing in our power can also be said as standing in our empowerment. Sometimes the word power can sound oppressive as if we are not being compassionate, or being selfish. But that is not really what standing in our empowerment means. It's about being in our truth. If your truth upsets someone, it is not your responsibility as long as you are not blaming them and are taking responsibility for your part, and communicating your thoughts in the most loving way you possibly can. Sometimes speaking our truth can hurt others but if it is done with honesty and love it can lead to growth or growth of a relationship. There is a way to deliver truth and love together. If you are delivering something that may be hard for someone to hear, do it with love. Standing in our empowerment also means not time traveling and being able to regulate our nervous system. There were times as children when we were disempowered or when we didn't have a voice that led to a pattern of disempowerment in our adulthood. When we are in our power, we are in the present, we are taking care of our inner child. Our nervous system isn't activated. We aren't in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. And, for HSPs or internalizers, big feelings and big reactivity can be scary. When big feelings come at us, they rattle our nervous system. HSPs often have intuitive gifts growing up but internalizing stuff and repressing relationship issues as adults can suppress intuitive gifts. The nervous system doesn't feel safe. We can't choose what we want to suppress and expect our intuitive gifts to open up and be expressed. When you suppress anything you suppress everything. Enrollment for the 2022 Elementum Coaching Institute is open. It begins mid-March. It is a 9-month comprehensive coaching certification program. It is a mix of learning the best coaching materials compiled into one curriculum. On Feb. 10, 2022, I will have a webinar, so be on the lookout for an email from me. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you consistently triggered in your relationships and wonder why you are having the same argument over and over? Did you grow up in a home where your needs were not met? Maybe you couldn't speak up for yourself or didn't feel empowered. Are you someone who is great at confrontation or do you avoid conflict? When you are in a situation of reactivity or frustration comes at you, do you fight, flight, freeze, or fawn or do you respond in a regulated way? Angela's Question: Angela is triggered by situations in her family and struggling in her relationships. She would like guidance on how to build harmony in her home. Angela's Key Insights and Ahas: She is in a 10-year relationship with her partner. She has a blended family. She is doing personal development work around what in her past may be triggering her. She wants to build harmony in her home. She was invalidated when she was younger. She had to care for her younger brother when her step-father passed. She gets triggered quickly. Her family has had to leave three different houses. Her partner is quick to anger. She believes a lot of the issues are about power dynamics. She believes men can't handle their anger. There is a power struggle in her relationship. How to Get Over It and On With It: To stand in her healthy feminine and learn how to not personalize what confronts her. Don't time travel, stay in her adult self, and stay calm while her partner is reacting or explosive. Allow little Angela to stand up for herself and have a voice. Tell her partner how his actions affect her and maybe listen to this episode together. Bring things out into the open. No more sweeping stuff under the rug. Takeaways: Get out of the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Don't time travel in highly reactive situations so you can respond as an adult and be in your power. Try to have a conversation with your partner in a calm place to remind them that you agreed not to talk to each other in that way. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHas

So many of us are trapped in a never-ending to-do list, looking for the next solution to make us more efficient. But often what we're left with is feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, burnt out and alone. Madeleine Dore is a writer and interviewer who explores how we can broaden the definition of a day well spent, through regular life experiments and events to examine how creativity isn't just something we do, but how we approach our lives. Madeleine spent five years looking for the secret to productivity, only to find there isn't one. Instead, she reveals, we're being set up to fail. Her new book, I Didn't Do The Thing Today, encourages us to say no to more time management techniques and yes to the joyful messiness and unpredictability of life Dore has been asking creative thinkers how they navigate their days on her popular blog Extraordinary Routines and podcast Routines & Ruts. She regularly conducts life experiments and hosts events to examine how creativity isn't just something we do, but how we approach our lives.

This episode is about making self-honoring choices that empower us. Today's caller, Jade, wants to break the cycle of being in broken and toxic relationships. We work through helping her connect the dots of needing validation from her current relationships to being disempowered by her mother when she was a child and guidance on how she can break the cycle. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode332] On-and-off-again relationships are a huge red flag. Some relationships need a break where both people can take time apart and work on themselves individually. When they come back together they decide to work through future conflicts together or that the relationship is not working and dissolve it. But, an on-again-off-again relationship demonstrates that the issues in the relationship are not being dealt with. It is a ping-ponging cycle of neither partner changing. If you are in an on-again-off-again cycle I invite you to turn it off for good. If you are in a toxic or on-again-off-again relationship, think about the consistent feelings that come up, ride those feelings back in time, ask those feelings what they are reminding you of, and then deal with it. When we think about connecting the dots of our current challenges to our past it is not always obvious. Often, when we have a "decent" upbringing we overlook the challenges because there isn't a major trauma that sticks out. Not feeling good enough for a parent and constantly feeling like you need to do what they need you to do, or become some version of yourself they approve of, is a big hurt. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have a pattern of being in on-again-off-again relationships? Did you grow up with a parent who was hard on you? Did you hear the phrase "I'm really disappointed in you" a lot? When you do try to end toxic relationships, do you feel so guilty and worried about upsetting the other person that you don't break up or maintain your boundaries? Do you feel empowered in your life and specifically in relationships? Do you find yourself consumed by the fear of rejection? Jade's Question: Jade feels anxiety about her pattern of entering toxic relationships. She wants to know how it connects to her past and guidance on how to heal her inner child. Jade's Key Insights and Ahas: She has been in a cycle of broken/toxic relationships. She tries to adjust herself to the other person. She feels anxious, ashamed, and angry with unpredictable people. Her mother made her feel not good enough and ashamed if she didn't meet her mother's standards. She is seeking validation and acceptance in a relationship. She didn't have a chance to build a relationship with her mother until she was an adult. Her mother disempowered her by not allowing her to make her own decisions. She attracts people who make her feel that she is not enough. Her mother forced dancing on her and she wasn't able to make her own decisions. She is afraid to lose love and validation. She takes on responsibilities that are not hers. How to Get Over It and On With It: End her relationship without any guilt. Explain to her partner's daughter why she is breaking up. Tell herself she is not responsible for making sure everyone else is okay. Hold off on dating for a while. Investigate healing her mother wound. Acknowledge herself for stepping into self-honoring choices and empowerment. Takeaways: You are not responsible for how other people feel. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is about healing wounds, feminine or masculine. Today's caller, Emily, wants to heal her sister wound. She has struggled with feeling judged or rejected by other women and fears being vulnerable with them. She would like guidance on how to make new female connections without being anxious. Anyone who may have wounds from their past when it comes to belonging will benefit from listening to this session. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode331] When we are teased, bullied, or have a strict, oppressive, or critical parent we develop an inner critic. Our inner critic can be much worse to us than the original offender was. Because we think if we are harder on ourselves than they were to us we will be more equipped to handle the adversity and pain. We believe it will hurt less when others do it. But, when we have a fierce inner critic it is impossible to be authentically ourselves. When it comes to making friends and being vulnerable we have to dim down the voice of our inner critic. Because our inner critic creates fear and doubt within ourselves and puts up walls, masks, and facades. But, when we show up authentic and honest we are lovable. We fit right in. Remember, childhood wounds are not something we heal in a few days. Part of the healing is to become aware of our patterns and practice transforming them. We heal the sister wound by getting honest and vulnerable with our sisters. Listeners of this show are invited to attend a free training session from Steven Kessler. His The Secret to Better Relationships: Let the Insight of 5 Personality Patterns will show you how to create thriving relationships. To register for the Wednesday, January 19th session at 11 am PST or 2 pm EST, go to ChristineHassler.com/Steven. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have a wound when it comes to belonging and making friends? If you identify as a woman, do you have a sister wound and find it hard to make friends with other women? Did you grow up in a family with a parent or step-parent that was super critical of you and now you have a worse inner critic? Is it often hard for you to be vulnerable and to feel seen? Do you second guess yourself when it comes to interactions with other people? Emily's Question: Emily struggles with vulnerability, judgment, and rejection and would like guidance on how to heal her sister wound. Emily's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels anxiety when making new connections or strengthening existing connections. She gets stuck in her head a lot. She fears being judged, rejected, and vulnerable. She attended the Inner Child workshop. She wants authentic relationships. Her inner critic keeps her from being authentic. At age 7, her parents divorced. Her mom had a 15-year relationship with someone who was critical of her. She felt her mom didn't protect her. She feels anger toward women. She does not feel a sense of belonging with other women but she wants to be part of the group. She has competing intentions. How to Get Over It and On With It: Journal about what she learned about women and what she thinks relationships with women could be. When interacting with women, keep herself present. When with a woman, or a group of women, internally remind herself that the past is the past. She is in the present and no one is judging her. Console her inner child and provide her with the protection she didn't get from her mother. Initiate a friendship with a woman she can be vulnerable with. Talk to her inner critic in compassionate ways. Takeaways: Practice working with your inner critic to come across more authentically. Explore the inner feminine wound by completing these sentences in a journal: "My beliefs about women are …" "What I learned about female relationships as an adolescent is …" "Female friendships are …" "When I think about being friends with women …" It is time to find your soul sisters and brothers. Find friends that are family. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Teri Cochrane is the founder of the Global Sustainable Health Institute® and an international thought leader in longevity. Through her decades of clinical work, Teri has developed The Cochrane Method®, a future-facing, multisystem health and longevity model. This model examines the intersection of genetic expression due to pathogenic and environmental causes, energy, and her clients' unique personal blueprint. Teri specializes in solutions to complex health conditions and serves world class athletes. She is the author of the Amazon best-selling new release book, The Wildatarian Diet: Living As Nature Intended. Visit: https://tericochrane.com/discount/Christine10 and you can use the code "Christine10" and get 10% all supplements

This episode is about having a pattern of needing to be in a relationship and feeling like something is missing if you don't have a person. Today's caller, Lee, has a lot of awareness, but something is missing, and that is being able to access and release his anger. We work through how to release his anger, grieve his childhood, and step into his power. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode330] If we grow up in a household with a lot of anger, we think all anger is that way. Yet, anger itself is not bad. It is what we do with anger that can be harmful to ourselves or others. Anger projected onto others through words, yelling, abuse, or violation is unhealthy and dark. Anger directed inward such as being hard on yourself, having a bad inner critic, or self-harming is also unhealthy anger. Yet, anger itself is a natural human emotion. If we get our anger out in a safe way we show up more grounded and more present. We become calmer. Remember, we never want to direct our anger at someone and never inward onto ourselves. We want to get a pillow and let our anger out to allow the parts of us that are angry a chance to heal. Releasing anger is an important way we become empowered. Often, what makes us needy is that we haven't found our fierceness or our voice and we are always looking for somebody else to make us feel a certain way. But, when we can get our anger out and step into our power we stop looking to others to fill a void. If you missed my Release 2021 Ritual Coaches Corner make sure to do it before doing the Calling in 2022, Stepping Into the New Year Ritual. Enrollment for the Elementum Coaching Institute is open. Become a master coach upon graduation from the 2022 program. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel like something is missing if you are not in a relationship? Do you tend to attract people with an avoidant attachment style? Did you grow up with one or both parents that were either neglectful or abusive? Did you feel unwanted as a child and are consistently trying to love yourself but you can't seem to let the unloved feelings go? Lee's Question: Lee always feels that something is missing in his life. He feels he is drawn to people too quickly. Lee's Key Insights and Ahas: He strives to work on his physical and mental health. He feels something is missing in his life. Being with another person makes him feel safe. He uses relationships to fill a void. He has an anxious attachment style. He was neglected and abused in childhood. His father tore the family apart. He felt unwanted and not good enough as a child. He does things to self-soothe. He represses his anger and turns it inward. He outsources his self-worth to other people. He is needy in relationships. How to Get Over It and On With It: Have compassion for himself. Allow his inner child to fully grieve. Let his anger out to release his emotions. Examine the conscious and subconscious vows he made to not be like his father. Step into his masculinity and power. Takeaways: Do the Anger Release exercise to move the energy of anger out. Are there any conscious or unconscious vows or oaths you made to never be like someone? If so, you may be denying a part of your expression and it is likely holding you back from authenticity. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Christine leads you through part two of her annual new year's ritual and guides you through a meditation / visualization to consciously call in 2022. You can access the breathwork and meditation series Stef and Christine created and get a holiday discount using code HOLIDAY at https://christinehassler.com/breathwork/

This episode is about discerning intuition from fear-based thoughts. Today's caller, Tamy, doubts herself and uses constant learning as a compensatory strategy when she may not have fully integrated the information she has already gathered. If you have ever wondered if your feelings are fear-based or truly your intuition, or struggle with self-doubt, this is a great session to tune into. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode329] We often try to compensate for our self-doubts by people-pleasing, caretaking, obsessing about how we look, or being on a constant train of achieving or learning. Too much learning can be compensation for where we feel self-doubt. You can be in radical self-acceptance or confidence, and still know there are things you are practicing and integrating. When we truly listen to our intuition and when we are on track with our personal development work, we stay aligned. We won't get on an ego-driven path. Ego-based success and compensatory success are houses of cards. And, that is what we fear because we can start to feel like a fraud. We feel as if we could lose everything. If you listen to your intuition, you will stay on a path of success that is sustainable. Start paying more attention to how your intuition works. Start with little things. Intuition comes in more clearly when we are not distracted. The less we distract ourselves with thoughts of self-worth, validation, and acceptance the more space our intuition has to present itself. If you missed my Release 2021 Ritual Coaches Corner make sure to do it before doing the Calling in 2022, Stepping Into the New Year Ritual available this week. We have a holiday gift for you this January. Get $30 off of our Breathwork and Guided Meditation series. Use promo code 'holiday' at christinehassler.com/breathwork. The Early Bird discount for the Elementum Coaching Institute ends December 31, 2021, so get your application in. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you sometimes wonder if the information you're getting or if the thoughts you are having are your intuition or fear? Are you addicted to learning, always believing there is more you need to learn? Do you doubt yourself or struggle with self-acceptance? Do you have a fear of success; not just failure, but a bit of fear of success? Tamy's Question: Tamy wants to know how to recognize and trust her intuition and get rid of self-doubt. Tamy's Key Insights and Ahas: She is an intuitive person. She fears taking action. She has developed ways to rely on herself. She judges herself and doubts her abilities. She feels she doesn't know enough. She has higher standards for herself than she does for others. She has been chronically learning without leaving time for integration. She fears success. How to Get Over It and On With It: Listen to her intuition and consider where she is being guided next. Consider how her thoughts make her feel. If it makes her feel fear it is not her intuition. Respond to the guidance she gets. Takeaways: Journal about what would happen if you are successful. Start with 'If I am successful then…' and see what comes up for you. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Welcome to my annual two-part ritual to complete this year and step forward into the next with intention! In this episode, I guide you through a step-by-step process to complete 2021 with awareness and intention and let it go! And stay tuned for next week's episode where I offer you a process to receive 2022. I record these fresh every year so be sure to tune in even if you are familiar with the process :)

This episode is about prioritizing ourselves and our children. Today's caller, Aprisa, is a single mother who looks to others to get her needs met. She had a traumatic childhood and has not yet healed her inner child wounding. We also discuss depression and how highly-sensitive people have more proclivity to depression because feeling big emotions can feel scary. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode328] With single parents, the rightful roles of parent and child can get a little murky. It is important not to hide our emotions from our children. It is okay for them to see us sad or angry but we want to make sure they know it is not their responsibility. Sadness doesn't last forever but it is important to feel it because when we hold down our emotions they get stuck. What often happens with people who are depressed is that they don't know what to do with their big feelings. They end up being distant, irritable, or sad. When what they need to get at is their anger, rage, grief, shame, and other big feelings. Oftentimes, when someone is diagnosed with depression it is important to look at the root cause and what else could be going on. And, many times the diagnosis of depression can be limiting. When we suppress our feelings and are not connected with our inner child we can collapse into the subconscious programming, patterning, and time travel when we are triggered. Be on the lookout for my soon-to-be-released Year in Review episode and join me in releasing 2021 and calling in 2022. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you an introvert or a highly sensitive person who has a proclivity to depression, especially when you suppress emotions? Have you found yourself parentifying a spouse or partner? Or, are you spousifying your child? Aprisa's Question: Aprisa is triggered by her traumatic past and doesn't feel her needs are being met in her current relationship. Aprisa's Key Insights and Ahas: She is a single mother. She has abandonment trauma from her past. She just moved to a new continent with her son. She is currently in a relationship and puts her boyfriend before herself and her son. She has been clinically diagnosed with depression. She feels her needs are not being met. She wants to feel peace and not be triggered. She has big emotions and doesn't know how to explain them. She looks to her partner to heal her inner child. She gets triggered and emotionally falls back on her subconscious programming. She is passing on her anxious attachment style to her son. How to Get Over It and On With It: Reduce the burden on her son by reframing how she explains her depression to him. Create a secure attachment to her son to bring her closer to her inner child. Acknowledge her big feelings and realize she is not doing anything wrong. Connect to her inner child and love and parent herself with love and compassion. Resist the addiction to codependency. Prioritize herself and her son. Takeaways: Listen to my Coaches Corner #286 — Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf. Remember, you have the power to transform and heal, no one else can do it for you. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Another dear friend of mine joins me on the podcast today to discuss how to tap into and trust your intuition, the importance of leaving unhealthy relationships and the magic and power of animals. Alyson Charles is a shaman and spiritual teacher who is devoted to living by the calls of inner wisdom, mysticism, energy medicine, and shamanic practices she has mastered through her studies with spiritual teachers, both of and beyond this world. She leads global courses, events, and talks to reconnect people to their fullest power and confidence through sacred practices and rituals. Alyson's power animal shamanic journey was named a top meditation to try by O, The Oprah Magazine, and she has collaborated with a range of media outlets and brands, including the New York Times, HBO, National Geographic, Well + Good, mindbodygreen, Forbes, Elle, and Self. You can pre-order her beautiful new book here: https://www.alysoncharles.com/animalpower

This episode is about making self-honoring choices without feeling selfish. Today's caller, Pooja, has a beautiful relationship with her parents but is torn between pursuing her dream of being a life coach and staying in the U.S. or moving home to be closer to her aging parents who miss her. This episode will help you to get out of limbo and make decisions that feel selfish. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode327] We want to make choices that are aligned with us versus a "should." Choices made from "should" create a higher likelihood of resentment. We either end up resenting the people who pulled us to make the choice or we resent ourselves for making the choice because we feel like we betrayed and abandoned ourselves, which is never a good situation. Whenever you feel the pull of both duty and desire, ask yourself what the most self-honoring choice is, because when we make the most self-honoring choice we are less likely to feel resentment later. We show up more authentically in our relationships when we make choices that are self-honoring. Choose something, start to take steps forward, and then if you need to choose something else, you can. If you are considering becoming a great coach, the $2,500 early bird discount for enrollment in ElementumCoachingInstitute.com ends on December 31, 2021. Email [email protected] if you have specific questions. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you struggling with a decision or choice, or have you been in limbo and it is causing you a lot of anxiety? Are you often torn between what you want to do and duty, obligation, or love you feel for your family that is pulling you in a different direction? Do you live far away from your parents or your family and feel a pull to be closer to them but also pull to stay where you are because you love it? When you make a choice that feels self-honoring does it feel selfish to you? Pooja's Question: Pooja is transitioning careers and is not yet ready to return to India to be with her aging parents. She would like guidance on whether to return or to follow her dream. Pooja's Key Insights and Ahas: She moved to the U.S. with the intention of returning home after a work assignment. She and her husband have been in the U.S. since 2013. She is going through a career transition. Her parents may expect her and her husband to return to India. Her dream is to be a life coach. She is torn between duty, obligation, and love. She hasn't had a heart-to-heart conversation with her parents about her dream. Her values are aligned with her parents' values. Her parents have given her freedom in her life and have never asked her for anything. Her parents are aging but healthy. How to Get Over It and On With It: Make a decision without expectations or "shoulds." Have a conversation with her parents about her dreams and goals. Commit to a decision and know that she can change it if she feels a nudge from her intuition. Keep in contact with her parents via video. Takeaways: If you are struggling with a decision/choice, remember you are not locked in. Empower yourself by getting out of limbo. Sponsor: STORYWORTH — Do you have your gifts ready for the holidays? A thoughtful and meaningful gift you can give a family member is Storyworth. Storyworth helps your family share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Storyworth has helped numerous families learn about each other in profound and special ways. After a year, Storyworth compiles the stories and pictures in a keepsake book that ships for free. Give the important people in your life a meaningful gift Storyworth.com/overit and get $10 off your first purchase. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This episode is incredibly educational when it comes to our attachment styles. I talk with licensed psychotherapist Ellen Boeder about how attachment styles are formed, how they impact our adult relationships, and what we can do to heal them so we can have more secure attachments. A little more about Ellen . . . She has been a therapist since 2003. She has a strong background in yoga and meditation, and her graduate training in Transpersonal Psychology also deeply inform her work. Since getting married 12 years ago, and becoming a mother to two children, Ellen transitioned from working primarily with women to focusing on couples. Ellen is trained in PACT, a therapeutic modality for couples founded by Stan Tatkin, PsyD., that synthesizes attachment theory, neuroscience, and affect regulation models to support couples in creating an enduring and nourishing relationship through secure functioning. In addition to maintaining a part time private practice, Ellen is on faculty for the Relationship School—a business founded by her husband Jayson Gaddis that provides in depth relationship education for anyone who wants to learn, as well as training for relationship coaches.

This episode is about setting healthy boundaries and speaking our truth. Today's caller, Nicole, grew up in an unhealthy family dynamic. Her grandmother didn't accept her family and tried to split them up. She wants to be at peace with the situation but has not yet dealt with her anger. During the holidays, if you are the one who is breaking generational patterns, you may be called selfish or righteous. It can be a difficult place to be put in. But, I encourage you to stand in your truth. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode326] So many families use guilt and obligation to get people to do things. If you don't play into it then you may be told you are uncaring or disappointing. But, remember, guilt and obligation are not love. Just because you say no or have a boundary does not mean you do not love your family; it just means you are not playing into the unhealthy family dynamic. Love itself is unconditional. You can love your family and have compassion for them but relationships are not unconditional. You wouldn't stay in a relationship if the person lied, cheated, or took your money. And, just because someone is a blood relative doesn't give them the right to have a relationship with you if they are violating certain boundaries. We can all have loving boundaries and have compassion for people but not tolerate their behavior. I don't believe that just because someone has had a hard life and has been hurt, that they should have a get-out-of-jail-free card to mistreat other people. We don't have to let that into our lives. Just because someone has had a hard life it doesn't give them the right to make our life hard. Considering becoming a coach? Take a moment to listen to my Coaches Corner episode #312 with Alexi Parnos, co-founder of ElementumCoachingInstitute.com. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel guilty if you shut certain people, especially family members, out of your life? Are you carrying around anger or resentment about how you've been treated by your family? Are you mad at your parents for not sticking up for you inside of their family? If you are a parent, what do you want to teach your child about family dynamics? Nicole's Question: Nicole is considering cutting her father's family out of her life and would like guidance on how to navigate through an unhealthy family dynamic. Nicole's Key Insights and Ahas: Her father's family tried to split her parents up. She wants to cut her father's family out of her life. Her grandmother wants to form a relationship with her daughter. She is holding onto hurt and anger. She wants to be at peace with the situation. She hasn't recognized the impact the situation has had on her. She played a therapist for her mother as a child. Her father was afraid to stand up for his own family. Her grandmother sends passive-aggressive notes. She gets triggered by her grandmother. How to Get Over It and On With It: Process her emotions to move into forgiveness. Do the Empty Chair process and have a conversation with little Nicole about what she needs and give her a voice. Mother her inner child. Let herself release her anger or write an FU letter. Set boundaries and open her heart. Takeaways: Get honest with yourself about unhealthy family dynamics. Will this be the year you speak your truth? Will you have a care-frontation conversation about what is going on? Or will this be another year of people-pleasing, swallowing your feelings, and having guilt and obligation, or just avoiding your family altogether? Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — Delivers life-changing comfort for your body with high-quality underwear, sleep, and loungewear. Thirdlove obsesses over every stitch. Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size and style. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite Seamless wireless bra or loungewear. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram [email protected] — Males who want to be on the show [email protected] — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.