Holding the Fort Abroad

What you will learn:Dating long distance: UK/Congo. The first years of marriage, being a lovepat and not realising the travel involved in my husband’s workExpat life is multi-layered and unpredictable! Dealing with a genetic eye condition and my husband’s unknown illness, a husband who commutes and two unexpected moves back to back. Learning to include myself in our family’s story! How many cultures in my life? How to start building a future lifeThe decision for my husband to work in KabulBeginning to investing in mentors. Developing a career faster than I thoughtMore information on being a lovepat:Visit www.amelderragui.com for more on entrepreneurship and having a greater impact with your business. Her Tandem Nomads’ Podcast has become The Time Is Now.Visit www.joparfitt.com/ on honing your writing skills.Read more about the SEEDS Framework.Download your Personal Development Plan Worksheet here.Books: Erin Meyer ‘The Culture Map’Stephen Covey ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ Brendon Burchard ‘High Performance Habits’Enjoyed This Episode? Please Leave A ReviewPlease leave a review or a comment. This will help more people find the podcast and get encouragement for this very specific lifestyle!

Synopsis:How can tapping help you with loneliness when your partner is gone, taking big decisions (do we do the split assignment?), exhaustion or fear. Tapping is all over social media these days. Eleni Vardaki is an EFT practitioner and in this episode she walks us through what tapping can and can’t do, we do a live exercise you can join in with. Learn a few tips on helping children manage their big emotions too, with sadness when your partner leaves for their trip for example. What you will learn:Benefits of tapping in regulating emotions and reducing stress markersDistinction between EFT meditations and EFT therapyEleni guiding Rhoda through a tapping exercise and the resulting decrease in fear intensity. You can join in too! How Tapping can help intense emotions from Split Assignment and Frequent Business Travel Challenges in Families. Tapping as a practical tool for emotional release in any locationTapping with Children and TeenagersWhat is Tapping ? - a blog by Eleni To see a 3 min video of tapping points click here (with diagram).Eleni also then guides you through a 12-minute tapping meditation for stress management while adding words.  You can download a self-guide for using tapping for self-care (with more detail) https://elenivardaki.com/eft-for-self-care-guide/Eleni’s services for schools:https://elenivardaki.com/school-services/Enjoyed This Episode? Please leave a review or a comment. This will help more people find the podcast and get encouragement for this very specific lifestyle!

Synopsis:In this episode of Holding the Fort Abroad, I dive deep into the decision-making process for split location assignments. We explore practical considerations, maintaining healthy relationships, and the importance of understanding your reasons for pursuing this path. Hear real-life experiences and gain valuable insights from those who have navigated this challenging terrain. Whether it's for a year or several, the decision is yours to make.Key Takeaways:Practical ConsiderationsTime differences and impact on communicationFlight costs and logisticsFlexibility in return timingsVisiting the working locationConsideration of duration, whether open-ended or fixed termRelationship ConsiderationsImpact on children of different agesInfluence of couple's current relationship statusEffects of geographical separation on relationshipBuilding and maintaining intimacy in long-distance relationshipsSetting intentions for the distance periodSeeking SupportRecommendation to involve therapists or outside perspectivesDiscussing with people who understand and have experience in split location assignmentsAvailable resources and individuals who have had similar experiencesEnjoyed This Episode? Please Leave A ReviewPlease leave a review or a comment. This will help more people find the podcast and get encouragement for this very specific lifestyle!

Synopsis:Join me in this conversation with Megan Norton on how fostering a sense of belonging can strengthen family ties. Megan is an intercultural trainer and author of Belonging Beyond Borders. As the daughter of a US Foreign Service employee, she moved many times during her childhood. As far back as Megan can remember, her father was often on short-term assignments during their times abroad. Her mum was even about to give birth as her dad was working away! Megan dubs herself, her brother and her parents the Norton Core Four, a testimony to their strong relationships.You Will Learn:How the concept of belonging can be used as a tool to foster connectedness in families where one parent travels for workBelonging to people, places and purposeMaking internal changes to reinforce one's sense of belonging.Creating your own community to belong toGuest Links:Website Megan's Book Enjoyed This Episode? Please Leave A ReviewPlease leave a review or a comment. This will help more people find the podcast and get encouragement for this very specific lifestyle!

Synopsis:In this episode, I delve into the common challenges faced by parents whose partners travel frequently for work. I discuss the dangers of exhaustion, feeling stuck, and harboring resentment while managing the home front solo. Drawing from my own experiences and insights, I share practical strategies for addressing these issues, from managing exhaustion to finding new passions and combating resentment. You Will Learn:What the parent who is at home with the kids may be going through! And if that’s you, how are doing doing around exhaustion levels, feeling stuck and resentment?Managing Exhaustion: Addressing mental and physical fatigue.Feeling Stuck: Embracing growth.Don’t Leave Resentment Fester: Recognizing and resolving negative emotions.Seeking Support: Building a network for practical and emotional aid.Prioritizing Self-Care: Importance of sleep and personal well-being.Resources mentioned in the episode:HTFA Episode #11 Personal Reflections: Two years after a burnoutHTFA Episode #28 How to conquer stress with a holistic approach Plant SEEDS https://amulticulturallife.com/blog/plant-s-e-e-d-s-for-your-future/Your Personal Development PlanTake the Holding the Fort Abroad quizDr Caroline Leaf Podcast 272: Why we shouldn't (& can't) "forgive & forget” Amel Derragui The Time is Now

Synopsis:Find out how the Sullivan family makes their split location arrangement work, what they prioritise, how Michael stays present as a father for his children even though he lives thousands of miles away. They are not new at this and Michael shares his hard earned wisdom. Michael Sullivan currently teaches in Turkey while his wife works and lives in the Philippines with their children. He is finalising his soon-to-be published book and hosts a TCK Podcast.You will learn:Impact of separation on family lifeChallenges with prioritiesThe necessity of strong communication and working through difficultiesMisconceptions about split-location familiesCoping with skepticism from othersMaintaining a functioning family despite the physical distance  Guest Links:Find out more about Michael’s book and TCK Podcast on his Website Connect with him on LinkedIn

Synopsis:Today's episode is a special solo edition where I dive into the challenges and triumphs of families living this unique lifestyle. I explore the possibility of balancing work passion with a happy family life, and I share a few inspirational stories of families who are successfully doing just that. From strategies for self-care and parenting together, to maintaining long-distance relationships and managing transitions, I cover the essential pillars for making this lifestyle work. Plus, I touch on the good reasons families choose this path.. So, join me as we delve into navigating the world of work travel and living abroad while holding down the fort at home.You Will Learn:01:10 - You are not alone.05:18 - Focusing on the 5 Foundational Pillars for this very specific lifestyle.11:20 - Write down why it makes sense for your familyBuy the Book:Buy your personal copy of  Holding the Fort Abroad or buy it as a gift for someone you know.Contact details:[email protected]: Connect with me on Instagram , LinkedIn

Synopsis:Does time geographically apart mean a sexless marriage? Whether under one roof or across continents, Phillips Hwang unpacks for us what healthy sexuality looks like and how to grow in connection and intimacy in our relationships. Phillips is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (Indiana), Certified Sex Therapist, and a Nationally Certified Counselor who specializes in couples counseling, individual counseling, and sex therapy.You will learn:05:25 - What is healthy sexuality?13:45 - Life is hard, carrying past hurts affects us.24:22 - Establishing healthy sexuality and intimacy in relationships.35:20 - Sexual intimacy after a long time apart42:00 - Practices for managing unfulfilled desires in relationships.50:25 - Dealing with sexual rejection from a partner.01:01:45 - Stay connected through shared objects and activities.01:03:39 - Decide as a couple what level of sexual connectedness when apart promotes a sense of love and connectedness with each other.01:06:00 - Valuing fidelity, respect, and mindfulness in relationships.01:13:10 - It takes years to develop a good sex life! Resources mentioned in this episode:https://www.sorestcounseling.com/rhoda.htmlGuest's Link:www.sorestcounseling.com

Synopsis:HTFA Episode #036, titled “Bonding across Distance: Anaju’s Tales of a Globetrotting Father”, explores how her family coped with her father's absence through ritual, reading, and intentional time together. Anaju reflects on her dad's efforts to stay connected despite the distance and how this unique upbringing led her to pursue a master's in sociology. She’s now focusing on the integration of Venezuelan immigrants through language—an inspiration drawn from her own multicultural experiences.You Will Learn:Anaju’s family's strategies to maintain connection, continuity and to foster relationshipsThe career decisions Anaju’s mother madeHer realization of the unusual nature of her father's work situation during childhoodInstances of dealing with emotional and physical challenges in her father's absenceImpact of writing as a coping mechanismAnaju's father’s efforts to engage and be present while at homeFamily discussions on travel risks and preparation strategiesSeeking therapy to cope with moving at age 15. Benefits of finding a TCK-aware therapist and processing the challenges of having a highly mobile lifeAnaju’s work with TCK training and her insights on prevention and guiding children,  Her focus on her sociology master's concentrating on the integration of Venezuelan immigrants through Portuguese language

Synopsis:In this episode, I talk with Tanya Crossman about Negative and Childhood Experiences, feeling safe, and having a travelling dad. You will learn:00:00 - Large survey of adult TCKs compared to CDC Kaiser study for Adverse Childhood Experiences07:27 - TCK training educates and supports global families.10:25 - Childhood trauma includes abuse and household dysfunction.13:39 - Our brain flags unfamiliar stimuli, prompting concern.19:03 - New Survey on Positive Childhood Experiences22:27 - Excitedly waiting, then being angry when dad returns.25:42 - Busy schedule, frequent business calls, family adjustments.27:21 - Parental separation impacts attachment.30:44 - Importance of understanding impact of time apart.34:16 - Feeling safe depends on environment and perception.35:56 - Reassure kids about safety.39:13 - Preparing for, navigating, and adjusting during  transitions.42:41 - Research and resources available, affordable and accessible.Resources mentioned in the episode:TCK Training White Paper on ACEs Misunderstood BookTCK Training is doing research on the childhood experience of growing up in a different country. They a’re asking adults what were the hardship and the positives of their childhood experience, and the strengths and struggles they found in adulthood. Add your story by completing the Survey. Contact Tanya:LinkedInWebsite

Synopsis:Nanna Hauch and I talk about transitions and how the Hero’s journey can help geographically split families with multiple changes at the same time. Nanna is a licensed couple and family psychotherapist, now based in Denmark. She's the founder of Expat Hero. In This Episode: The Hero’s journey 01:31 Staying connected 08:56“Transition Triggers Trauma” and an overwhelmed nervous system 17:01 “Honour that expat life is an adventure” 27:49 Putting your mask on first versus sacrificing yourself in a crisis 35:12 Living your story with courage 42:46Resources Mentioned in the Episode:Joseph Campbell Hero’s JourneyContact Nanna Hauch:EmailWeb

Synopsis:Today, my guest is Patrick Kadian, an expat for 30 years, and also Mr. Mom (in his words). We talk about how he navigates being a dad with a wife who's away a lot, how he has used his professional skills within his family life and how he has become more emotionally aware.In This Episode:Patrick’s message to dads 01:45Becoming the primary carer: an evolving situation 03:08Defying gender roles 09:43Managing the travel 19:49When she comes home from a trip…. 24:45Keeping the family cohesive and using professional tools 28:45Download:Patrick's family branding artworkGender Roles as mentioned

Synopsis:Florence Reisch, her husband and children have lived geographically apart for 7 years. We talk about the difference it made for her to prepare, what it was like for them. Living this life comes with expected and unexpected challenges and silver linings and we cover those too.  Florence Reisch is also known as ‘coachingwiththeflo’. She is a fellow Swiss who has lived around the world for 25 years. She is the author of the book ‘Expat Wife, Happy Life’, a book about expatriation, which is now in multiple languages, Spanish, German, Italian, Portuguese, and French is in the making. Quite a feat!  She tells us a little about her book. Go buy the book to find out more!In This Episode:How the book came about (01:33).The message in Florence’s book (03:54).Challenges are normal and you can have an amazing life once you feel more confident (07:20).The importance of personal work and investing in your relationship  (09:50).Effective communication (11:37).Joining communities of similar interests (13:30).‘Don’t take a decision until you are in that situation?  Reconsidering her opinion on split location and taking a decision that is best for everyone (16:24).“Never assume an employee will not take the split location. Let people make their own decision” (19:23).The importance of preparing for split location (21:21).The help offered by the company and organising your own help (27:25)The unexpected (33:33)Silver linings (37:38)Contact Florence:https://www.coachingwiththeflo.com/services

Synopsis:Today my guest is Carlos Baker. We talk about his music, his new book, the challenges he went through in his childhood, surviving adult depression and being the primary parent in a new country. In this Episode: A challenging childhood illness: how parents and children can experience difficulties differently 01:00Not being equipped for adult adversity 18:50Dealing with adult depression 21:40“The beginning of an amazing adventure in Germany” 24:00 Parenting choices and being the primary caregiver 26:00Living geographically apart for a time 33:20Living out a passion. Music and Writing 38:30Contact Carlos BakerEmail: [email protected] www.ckbakerband.comC.K. Baker Band on SpotifySongs for Ivy book   Trigger warning, this book deals with alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide child neglect and death and dying. It is a journey of acceptance and being surrounded by those who are true friends. 

Synopsis:Today, my guest is Kate Berger. With Kate, we talk about the main message parents need to give to children, what to do when an older child steps into the role of a physically absent parent and the importance of learning to cope with change. Kate is a child psychologist and the founder of the Expat Kids Club. Her main aim is to support emotional well-being of expatriate children, and she does that through individual, family and corporate consultations. In this Episode:Why it’s important for children, parents and corporations to “learn and develop skills to cope effectively”. 01:52Challenges due to Frequent Business Travel  - Consequences of a parent travelling in and out of home 06:26Addressing when an older child steps into the physically absent parent’s role. Importance of parents working collaboratively 13:08Kate uses the word ‘instability’ to describe the coming and going of a parent who travels. She gives her insights on whether to strive for more stability or learn how to live better with it. 16:55The main message parents need to give to their children 20:28Resources mentioned in the episode:Families in Global Transition Find out more about Third Culture Kids The International Therapists Directory Contact Kate:The Expat Kids ClubKate Berger, MSc , Child & Adolescent Psychologist+31614832702expatkidsclub.com Offices in Amstelveen & WassenaarSee my interview with the Financial Times (video & article) and collaboration HSBC Expat "Expat Kids" Campaign (video & article).

Synopsis:Dr Laura Anderson is a clinical psychologist and the founder of Common Chord Psychologist Services. She provides consultation services for multi-racial families, adoptive families, and families with gender expansive members, as they overcome barriers, derive strength from their differences and thrive. Additionally, she has a particular area of interest in supporting third culture children and families who may need support with the stresses associated with living out of their countries of origin. Today with Dr. Laura, we're going to be talking about how intercultural dynamics play out when distance is involved, how to be a family when not living under the same roof, and coping with uncertainties, which is very much part of this life when travel date changes, when there are emergencies, or when there's risk involved when the parent is in a hostile in environment.In This Episode:Dr Laura Anderson explains the name Common ChordShe explains her work among expat families and families in split locations, working with all age ranges.She gives practical tips for understanding kid brain and strategies for coping with change.She discusses how to talk about feelings and emotions with children and teens.Rhoda and Dr Anderson discuss the importance of rituals and of keeping the traveling parent in the loop, as well as how to engage your child in conversation.Navigating the return home of the travelling parent. Dr Anderson touches on anxiety, and teaches us how to recognize the early symptoms, and how this can help in dealing with the root issues and reacting better.Parents in dangerous locations and the importance of explaining in an age appropriate way the situation and the reasons behind the decision.Contact Dr LauraWebsiteEmail InstagramFacebook LinkedIn

Synopsis:Today my guest is Kirsten Pontius. Kirsten is an expat, she is a wellness specialist. She works with individuals on their personal wellbeing but she also works with staff in international schools who are often forgotten! Kirsten and I met a few years ago in a workshop and we have recently reconnected. She gives us her insights and shares tools we can use when we are overwhelmed, which can definitely happen when our partner’s are away and we are the only adult at home. In This Episode:We're meant to have that kind of elevated stress response, 1%-3% of our lives01:55 Helping families of staff of international schools04:40 Kirsten’s story: from long-distance dating to 15 years abroad to holistic support09:15  How can we break up the stress response so that we are not living in it all day every day. Especially when we feel there is no time to stop.  Reclaim time Flexing the breath muscle with a breath pointTelling your body you are safeUse a 3-min timer24:20 Plan B as a  BaselineBuiding minimums Building routine and automation to reduce decision fatigue when we live transient and changing lives32:33 Achievable morning and evening routines as downtime 36:38 Considering what we are modeling38:49 It’s not the expat ‘holding the fort’ lifestyle41:00 Food intolerances and travelResources mentioned in the episode:Progressive Muscle Relaxation Grounding Habit stackingBook - Moving abroad with your health and sanity by Kirsten PontiusKirsten’s next Refresh Program will run: Sept 13 - Oct 18, 2023Contact KirstenWebsiteInstagram

Synopsis:Franziska is the founder of Be Happy Abroad. She's a coach, passionate about supporting internationals. She has experience of frequent business travel, and after an initial conversation about what she does now and her experience, we're going to talk about nutrition, intuitive eating more specifically, which is a key element for anyone, but especially important to pay attention to when there is a lot going out. In This Episode:Franziska’s journey as an expat and the effect that has on identityFranziska tells a bit about the Happy Abroad summit, how and why she founded it and the story behind the nameFranziska’s experience of her husband’s frequent business travelFranziska explains the four basic principles of intuitive eating, what they are and how to incorporate them into everyday life so as to have a healthy nutrition which fulfills your needs.Contact Franziska:Email FacebookLinkedin

Synopsis:Elizabeth has founded many businesses, she is a mentor, an author. She founded growatyourpace.com where you can find transformational courses. She is also the founder of Spoken Lives, where women share. She will tell us a little more about what she is doing now and Elizabeth has kindly agreed to share with us what it is like to travel for business when you are a mum and what she did that worked.In This Episode:About Elizabeth and the different projects she is involved inElizabeth’s first business trips as a young mum, how she experienced it and what practical things she put in place for her children to feel her presence. The different roles in house management for the stay-at-home and the travelling partnerEquipping your children to be independent and resourcefulCreating a space for children to talk with their parentsResources Mentioned in the Episode:https://growatyourpace.com/ (online courses - free ones, too! (Mountain of Ideas & Baby Focus would be helpful))https://spokenlives.com/ (Toronto based women's speaker series)https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Self-Reliant-Children-Self-Indulgent-World/dp/0761511288 resource mentioned in episodewww.yourapplauseacademy.com (online course - how to plan, launch and make money with your own speaker series)www.officementors.com (business mentoring)https://lidialae.com/ Contact ElizabethWebsite (book information and survey)Email  Linkedin

Synopsis:Karina is an adult third culture kid, a psychologist, a sex therapist, and a mother. She helps expatriated cross-cultural and frequent traveling couples and families to thrive. We will talk first about her research that she's doing on becoming mothers abroad, and then she's going to give us her insights into frequent business travel. When you are a mom, this is a topic that hasn’t yet been addressed on this podcast, and one that comes up a lot in questions about frequent business travel.In this Episode:About Karina’s background and researchMatrescence, the process of becoming a motherCombining motherhood and travel – Is it possible? Karina and Rhoda talk about what to consider in your decision-making and what to put in place if you decide to travel.How each situation is different - be it moms, dads, or children – and how that should impact us. How to help each other in spite of differences.Role models in children’s lives and the importance of being emotionally present.Children’s developmental stages and the importance for attachment.You don’t need to be perfect!Resources Mentioned in the Episode:Help Karina’s research by filling in her survey below.As a pioneering thesis in Sensory Processing Sensitivity, exploring some aspects of our personality as possible preventive factors during adjustment to motherhood, I need two large groups; expatriated and non-expatriate European mothers. So every mom is welcome to participate.PARTICIPATION IS 100% ANONYMOUS AND VOLUNTEER.FOR EXPATRIATED MOMS FOR NON-EXPATRIATED EUROPEAN MOMS Megan Meeker books:Strong Mothers, Strong SonsStrong Fathers, Strong DaughtersContact Karina:EmailLinkedIn

Synopsis:Jennie Linton is a certified life coach, about to complete a clinical mental health counselling program, she is a mom to 4 daughters and married to a US diplomat. She’s lived on 4 continents and in 7 countries. She is part of the team on the Big Purple Blob, an online platform for US Diplomatic community and she is also the host of her own podcast, The Expat Mom. She is passionate about helping moms feel emotionally healthy so they can be the kind of mom they want to be.In This Episode:Jennie’s journey as an expat and her struggles related to her children’s mental health, and the importance of a positive mindset in how we perceive the world and our situationHow to identify the narratives in your head and transform them into a constructive thought processDifferent practical tools to improving psychological and emotional healthJennie walks us through a series of common beliefs about the expat life and holding down the fort abroad, and how to process the thoughts and counter them with facts and encouraging truthResources in the Episode:‘Myths That Threaten Split-Location Marriages’ free cheat sheet: https://forms.aweber.com/form/25/1425643925.htmContact Jennie:WebsiteEmail: [email protected] InstagramFacebookPodcast: The Expat Mom

Synopsis:Kate is British, married to a Frenchman and they currently live in France. She is a Facilitator, Certified Coach and Mentor. Her husband has been travelling Monday-Friday for about a year now. We talk about her family’s experience with this lifestyle, and what she has put in place.In This Episode:How Kate came to end up in France and the kind of coaching work Kate doesHow learning to navigating change is a vital skill for all humans, especially expatsWhat Kate and her family put in place to enable business travel for her husband and to make it work for the whole family The pros and cons of Monday-Friday business travel and Kate experience of navigating this modelThe importance of listening to yourself, to your body, to set limits and expectations, and then constantly adapting to what works for you.Contact Kate:WebsiteEmailInstagram FacebookLinkedIn

Synopsis:Angelic is a Holistic Health Practitioner, Mindfulness Coach and author from San Diego, CA. She is also a volunteer with the Myositis Support and Understanding organization where she moderates mindfulness conversations on clubhouse and advocates for myositis, a rare auto immune disease that has affected her own life. She also knows what it is to live as an expat. In this interview, she talks about her expat journey and her new book ‘Women Thrive’. We discuss how we can live wellness with a partner who works away from home.In This Episode:Angelic tells of her move to England with her partner, and the emotional challenges she faced in relation to her new situation, such as losing her sense of purpose.How she came to discover the world of therapy and life coaching and then launching her own business in the field. Angelic talks about volunteer work helping her regain purpose.Angelic tells of her experience being diagnosed with and then managing a rare autoimmune disease.What mindfulness is and how it can help to overcome false narratives and the stresses of lifePractical tips for practising mindfulness and other life tipsAngelic talks about her book ‘Women Thrive’Resources Mentioned:Women Thrive: Inspiring True Stories of Women - by Angelic IngramContact Angelic:Website Instagram LinkedInLinktree

Synopsis:Mariam Navaid Ottimofiore is a Pakistani expat author, writer, researcher and economist. She has lived in ten countries as both a TCK and an expat adult: The Kingdom of Bahrain, the United States, Pakistan, the United Kingdom, Germany, Denmark, Singapore, the United Arab Emirates, Ghana and Portugal. She is the author of the expat guidebook This Messy Mobile Life: How a MOLA can help globally mobile families create a life by design (Summertime Publishing 2019) which equips international families to navigate a life abroad. She is also the blogger behind the expat blog And Then We Moved To in which she explores expat life and raising multicultural and multilingual children in her East-meets-West marriage.In This Episode:Mariam’s life as a mum of a globally mobile family. Her experience of this lifestyle with young children and children of differing ages.The unique struggle living and coping in cultures where one partner is entirely dependent on the travelling partner, with very little rights of their own (visa, finances, etc.)The need for flexibility when one partner travels for work, as well as working together as a team.The importance of asking for help, having a backup adult, and good self-care. To have realistic expectations of yourself.Mum vs Dad travelling: the upsides and society’s double standards.Navigating the return of the travelling parent and how to reintegrate them into family life and routine.Ideas and strategies for keeping the travelling partner emotionally present in the home/with the kids.The importance of good communication within the couple, sharing each other’s experiences.How knowing all the travelling partner’s travel details can be vitally important, especially when dealing with high-risk situations Contact Mariam:Website InstagramFacebook LinkedIn

Synopsis:Carole Hallett is an expat expert and host of the Expat Ability Chat podcast and founder of Expat child. After having lived as an expat, she is now living in her home country while her husband moves on assignment. In her coaching practice she has often seen that frequent business travel is a part of the expat experience.In This Episode:Carole explains about her various moves as an expat in Japan, Germany and South Africa. She tells of how she met her husband and came to live the expat life as a couple too.       How companies do and don’t support families in overseas assignments, scenarios to be aware of and what to put in place to put the odds in your favour, such as building up a support network.The importance of clearly communicating each partner’s needs, especially in a relationship where one partner is often travelling.The challenges of moving with teens, how to change school systems with older children.Resources Mentioned in the Episode:Expat ChildExpatability Chat podcast Contact Carole:LinkedInEmail

Synopsis:Today my guest is Colleen Higgs. She and her husband have five children. As a professional turned mum, she knows what it is like to be frustrating when parenting is efficient! In her blog Unpacking Parenting, she challenges us to stop using measures used for efficiency and look at parenting in a completely different way. Colleen also knows what it is like to live abroad and have a travelling partner. She is just about to finish a solo-parenting stint of two years. She shares with us some of her insights on this life and what has helped her. In This Episode:Applying (or not) to parenting the principles we learn in our professional life.Transition timesDon’t compare How does living in your season look likeSome practical tipsSign up to Colleen's Newsletter:www.unpackingparenting.com

Synopsis:In this episode I share my acronym GREAT which helps to remember the five strategies to make business travel work for you and your family. Whether your partner is gone Monday to Friday, or months at a time. Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Workbook - How to ask for help and get the help you need. Take the time out to figure out:what stops you from asking for helpwhat help you needwho to ask Contact Rhodawww.amulticulturallife.comSign up for my newsletter for information on upcoming events and new resources.

Synopsis:Today my guest is Arlette Chatlein. She is no stranger to living far from her partner. Born in Curaçao, Arlette moved to The Netherlands when she was 19 years old to study Economics at the University of Rotterdam. Little did she know that it would only be her first move. Her and her husband have lived apart at three different times. Listen to her share what they have learned.In This Episode:Her three different experiencesWhat they have learnedWhat have you put in place, maybe even subconsciously that makes it work? Do you think it's mindset? Do you think this life is for anyone or does it take a special kind of person? Resources Mentioned in This Episode:Tips on reaching out to people in a new context (see Arlette’s website) Contact Arlette:WebsiteFaceBookInstagram

Synopsis:Wiebke Anton is a relationship coach for people living abroad. In this episode, we talk about being a couple who moves and how we can prioritise our relationship.In This Episode:Typical scenarios that Wiebke sees in her work with couples who move abroadWhat Wiebke focuses on during relationship care sessions, exercises that she uses, and how these apply to couples who are geographically separatedSome advice and fun ideas for keeping romance alive even when geographically separated, and how to have stress reducing conversations with your partner.How to navigate phases of being reunited, when the travelling partner returns home, and examples of questions to ask each other.The balance between sharing with your partner and keeping the relationship as carefree as possible. For example: am I using my partner's absence as an emotional blackmail or weapon in our arguments? How do I address negative feelings in an appropriate manner?Resources mentioned in the episode:Kate Galloway podcast with Wiebke Anton The BeReal app. Paula Hall books: https://www.paulahall.co.uk/books/ How to Express Intense Emotions in a Healthy Way – Dr. Leaf (drleaf.com)Wiebke's questions: for returning home:When I come home or when you come home, what is your best way to unwind yourself from the journey and from the scenery change?Do you need some buffer time and do you need, for instance, the first evening for yourself?Do I want to be picked up from the airport? Yes or no?Is it important for me that the house is cleaned, yes or no?Do you want to cook? Shall we cook together? Do you want to come home and everything is prepared?Contact Wiebke:Website Instagram (@wiebke.help4love)LinkedIn 

Synopsis:Becky Grappo is an educational consultant. She works with families throughout the United States and around the world on planning their children's education. Her husband was a career foreign service officer for 27 years in the US Diplomatic Service. During that time and with three young children at home, she went back to school and got her graduate degree in education. She taught in several international schools before going back to the US and working in a US public school. Then she worked at the State department helping to guide foreign service families as they were planning the education for their children. Throughout her husband's career, they faced several unaccompanied tours.In This Episode:What Becky does for work nowA new baby (not what you think!) during an unaccompanied tourWhat couples need to have in place before being geographically separatedYou are not the only family living apart in your organisation. Is there any way of getting together? Can you ask your partner’s organisation for support as a group?Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Monday Morning Emails - Book by Terry Anne Wilson & Jo Parfitt Standardized Regulations (DSSR) - Department of State Contact Becky:Email

Synopsis:Today my guest is Richelle Futch. Richelle has built and scaled multiple ventures across technology, education, nonprofit and service based industries. She is a sponsorship specialist, an author, a public speaker and a trainer. Richelle is a former Marine, current military spouse and advocate for military employment, preventative mental health care and reform. She has worked with congress members on policy reform and has been invited to the White House on behalf of her work and advocacy efforts.Together we explore some of the similarities between a military family and a family where a partner is a humanitarian for example. We touch on the aspect of calling, or vocation which means physical separation from spouse and children. Non-Military families can learn from what helps military families succeed. In this Episode:Richelle explains why she wrote her post (which later went viral) She shares challenges military families experience.What Richelle thinks military families need to succeed.Richelle gives us what she has learned in her solo parenting journey.What Richelle would say to the family of a humanitarian going to a country at war for example.Resources mentioned in the episodeBerry's acculturation model (see example here)Dialectical Behavior Therapy (see explanation here)www.herruck.com Contact RichelleLinkedInRichelle’s LinkedIn Post: Full Text – Posted on 16 August 2022 "This past week I've been seeing some harsh posts in some social media groups about military spouses.I have seen quite a few folks completely obliterate military spouses for identifying as military spouses. Saying "You don't serve." Or ask, "Why do you put that on your profile or resume?" Followed by hurtful bashing remarks disguised as humor.Just some insight from my experience as both a veteran and military spouse...When I say my spouse is active duty, I am not trying to say his accomplishments are mine. Not at all. What I am conveying is, as the spouse of someone who has been to war... multiple times, has a high optempo job, is dealing with a lot of stuff they can't always control or discuss, and is gone... a lot, I am impacted by this and it requires me to pivot my plans last minute, solo parent for months at a time, adjust, re-adjust, be emotionally intelligent, maintain my interests/career/friends/boundaries/ all knowing that the needs of the military comes first ...so, my plans while good in theory really are never completely solid. That is quite a mouthful, so it is easier to say I'm a military spouse and hope that the person receiving that understands 'Oh there are outside factors impacting their life that are different (or the same) as mine'. There is transparency in that statement. It means my family belongs to a culture you may or may not understand. My point is, identifying as a military spouse is not stolen valor.That is all :)Richelle Futch, LICSW• 1st Entrepreneur & Founder: Sponsorship Specialist. Veteran. Mental Health Counselor. Trainer

Synopsis:Today my guest is Bruna Toubia. She is multicultural, multilingual. She has lived in Europe, the Middle East and Asia. And she is trained in  impressive array of holistic, process-orientated and goal-orientated methods. First she is going introduce systemic constellations and then she will help us see how they can be a powerful tool in situations where you are geographically separated from your spouse. In this Episode: Bruna explains constellations. How can constellations help for someone who has a partner who is often absent with some examples of scenarios. How constellations can help decide on a posting away from the family or help when time apart Can a parent use it if there is a situation with a child? How can someone set up a constellation with BrunaBruna shares with us a life or parenting resourceResources mentioned in the episode:Book - Love’s Hidden Symmetry: What Makes Love Work in Relationships? by Bert HellingerContact Bruna:WebsiteEmailTel Number: +41 76 406 53 55

Synopsis:Dr Neeta is a US licensed psychologist living, practicing, and consulting internationally. Her online private practice includes therapy and coaching services for expats, first gens, interculturalists, digital nomads, diplomats, humanitarian workers, military veterans, third culture kids, and globally mobile folx. Her approach is integrative and humanistic, with a focus on solutions for growth and holistic wellness. In This Episode:Emotional numbing and the wall between the partner who was away and the rest of the family. No place for stoicism!An invitation to doing deeper inner workThe flip side of being strongHonoring the family systemThe importance of experimentingA bubble bath a day is not going to take away the lonelinessGetting out of your headPreparing for a split locationRecommended resourcesResources mentioned in the episode:Hold me Tight book by Dr Sue Johnson Self Compassion - website for Dr. Kristin NeffContact Dr Neeta:Website

SynopsisIn this episode, I share a little about my burnout in January 2021, the panic attacks I experienced and the exhaustion that set in after a series of difficult situations accumulated. I share how I recovered and the lessons learned from that incredibly difficult time. If you feel that you have been stressed for a long time, this might be worth a listen. If you are experiencing panic attacks, stop listening if it is triggering for you. In these shownotes are the techniques and tools that helped me. I am so grateful that during that time I had access to emotional and practical help from professionals and from family and friends. In this EpisodeWhat happened that led to burnout Lessons learnedBring your stress levels as low down as possible as often as possibleCheck your hormone levelsCheck your vitamin and mineral levels (low B12 & Low Magnesium) Self-havening, Progressive Muscle Relaxation to relaxTime your panic attackResources Mentioned in the EpisodeSelf havening Dr Caroline Leaf Spikey ballProgressive Muscle Therapy Vivian Chiona at Expat NestContact [email protected]       www.amulticulturallife.com to sign up for newsletter

Synopsis:International adoptee, born in Sri Lanka and holder of a French passport, Florence Chabert d’Hieres specialises in cross-cultural training and coaching from 6 years old kids to top management.In 2009, she created Coach4expat. She is the author of “I'm a citizen of the world” for parents and children to help them succeed in their expat adventure. During the pandemic, she created Expat Village an online village, allowing a one stop shop for the personal and professional needs for expats and their families.In This Episode:More about Expat Village and Florence’s workHow she has experienced having a partner who is away a lot for work.What Florence would say to families with little children/older children? What she has found works for this type of lifestyle.Brain Gym and how it has helped Florence and her family (specifically with being away from each other)Apart from Brain Gym, Florence shares a life/parenting resource that she has found really helpfulMentioned in the Episode:Brain GymExpat VillageContact Florence:Coach4Expat

SynopsisShellee Burroughs is a UK Registered Art Therapist. She has 10+ years’ experience counselling within the education sector, specialising in trauma and sexual abuse therapy.She is an experienced child and adolescent counsellor using a range of approaches from Creative Arts and Play/Sand Tray Therapy, Child Accelerated Trauma Therapy, Narrative Therapy, and Strengths Based Psychology. She also knows all about Third Culture Kids! In this EpisodeShellee’s personal and professional story. Her main takeaways of living split location during Covid with teens I ask Shellee if she sees any benefits to this life What would say to a family who is about to live it or who is living? With teens? How art therapy can help us with this lifestyle' (even for non-artists).Shellee shares about her post it notes.A favourite resourceResources Mentioned in EpisodeThe Emotions’ Wheel Good for when you're struggling to name how you feel.Families in Global Transition Contact Shellee BurroughsInstagramWebsite Email  

SynopsisFor many years, Matthijs de Rave worked as Sales Director for well known, worldwide insurance companies and was also an author of children’s books. One day, he had an airplane epiphany and founded Expat Valley. I talk to him about being the first Ombudsman for International Children, and what it was like being an travelling dad.In this EpisodeWhat is an Ombudsman for International Children, what Matthijs does and who are international children. (1:19)His personal experience of travelling a lot for work and being a dad. (5:59)The impact on his children. (6:51)His airplane epiphany. (8:11)The Trip Kit.(11:25)Phone calls home (20:41)What Matthijs would say to someone who is just starting to travel a lot for work. (21:55).The importance of hearing other people’s stories around business travel and being more open about talking about it. (26:16)Matthijs’ favourite resources for life and parenting. (35:22)Resources mentioned in the episodeThe Biggest Little Farm Contact Matthijs de RaveExpat ValleyLinkedIn

SynopsisKerry is a researcher, collaborator and entrepreneur in aging, care and connection. She is the Founder of The Long Distance Grandparent, a mission driven business, helping grandparents build strong bonds with their grandchildren – no matter the distance between.In this Episode The Long Distance Grandparent Society (1:10)Nurturing the relationship: similarities in maintaining connection between grandparents and grandkids and maintaining connection with travelling parents & their children (6:30)The Five Pillars to Connection (11:40)The importance of having a vision for the relationship (11:50)The Connection Loop (30:37)Starting early (39:11)Grief (40:20)Spontaneity(42:09)Two of Kerry’s favourite resources for parenting (44:34)Resources mentioned in the episodePeaceful Parenting Raising Adventurous EatersPeekabondContact Kerrywww.thelongdistancegrandparent.comKerry has a lot of different blogs on connecting, various topics, inspiration and ideas for staying connected. She sends out a weekly email with those kinds of tips. and you can find out more about the membership at that website as well.

SynopsisSharoya Ham is a behaviour change specialist and founder of Embrace Behavior Change. She is also a licensed teacher with over 25 years of experience working with at-risk students and their families. Her favourite career, however, was as a stay-at-home mom. She attributes her three amazing sons who are now 18, 20, and 23 for teaching her endless lessons about parenting. Sharoya is an American who hails from the state of New Jersey. Over the past 15 years, she and her husband and their three sons have lived in six African countries. Sharoya’s husband travelled a lot over the years so she knows what it is like to be home alone with the children.In this Episode:Sharoya’s general approach: working with parents at their wit’s end when nothing works to see relationships transform.Acknowledging what is going right and creating a vision.Embracing your own behaviour changes. Building what we want to see in our children in five/ten years from now. The difference between a compliment and building confidence. Focusing on positive behavioursSharoya’s personal journeyRecognising it is a lot! We keep asking our bodies and emotions more than they can handle. What dads say about parenting How we can invite our travelling partners to parent.Resources mentioned in the Episode:1.    Personal permission card set "I give myself permission to ..." 2.    Marco Polo appContact SharoyaWebsite: Embrace Behavior ChangeFacebook: Embrace Behavior ChangeInstagram: parentcoachsharoyaTwitter: Sharoya Ham

SynopsisVivian is the founder of Expat Nest, an online counselling service for internationals. She is a registered psychologist with Master’s degrees in both Child & Adolescent Psychology and Health Psychology. She was recognised in 2020 as one of the 100 most influential women in the world by Women appreciating Women. She is bicultural with family all over the world, Vivian is familiar with the international community and inspired by its diversity. In this episodeVivian’s goal - providing an empathetic and comforting environment in which expats feel heard and understood and helping deal with the challenges of expat life. Multi-lingual and expat specialised: how and why Expat Nest works. Difficulties that Vivian often sees with people living in split locations. Vivian’s top tips for couples and families living in split locations.Why get in touch with a therapist?Vivian’s top recommended resources.Resources Mentioned‘Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds’ book by David C. Pollock & Ruth E. van RekenFamilies In Global Transition ‘Belonging Everywhere and Nowhere’ book by Lois J. Bushong‘Holding The Fort Abroad’ book by Rhoda Bangerter ‘Solo Parenting Expat Mums’ Facebook groupThe Tandem Nomad Podcast by Amel Derragui'In Transit’ (formerly Expat Happy Hour) podcast with Sundae Bean Contact VivianExpat Nest

Synopsis:Robert has many different skills, he’s been in the military, he’s been a teacher, he is trained as an engineer and he is the dad of two wonderful girls. He gives us his perspective as a Holding the Fort Dad and gives some fantastic tips on parenting too !In This Episode:      Robert’s life before becoming a Holding the Fort DadBeing the only dad in Mother & Toddler groupsStagging on & Staffing off: the importance of getting rest. The value of retrainingTop tips on having a female au pair when mum is the one travellingBatch cookingTaking care of an elderly parent as wellAdvice to dads whose partner is about to be away a lot for workThe importance of having other adult contactResources:www.mumsnet.com - a wonderful resource for getting answers to questionsDyscalculia

Synopsis:Claire Hauxwell is a professional badass (accompanying supportive spouse), writer, and coach. A trained Supply Chain professional and ex-spreadsheet lover, she now puts her Type A personality to work by deconstructing the nuances of expat life. With more than a decade of global living experience, Claire shares her wisdom on the blog – My Theory On Blooming, and coaches female expat accompanying spouses to create fulfilling and intentional lives abroad. If she’s not roaming the aisles of the grocery store or meandering the forest with her dogs, you’ll find her sweating it out at CrossFit or having cocktails with friends. Claire and her family currently live in Switzerland, but return to the shores of Muskegon, Michigan every summer for a taste of home. On this podcast she shares her expat story through the lens of life with a partner who travels for work. In this Episode:    Claire begins her story as an accompanying spouse with a newborn and a toddler in a new city with a husband gone for work most of the time. Missing birthdays and big dates(stay tuned, this comes up again at 30)The importance of organising help with childcare. Transitions when your partner comes home from a trip.Keeping your partner in the loop when they are awayWhat Claire would say to a new mum, in a new place, with a partner who travels. Mentioned in this Episode: Guidebook ‘Asking for help’

Synopsis:Helen is NOT an expat, she is the mother of expats, a long distance grandparent and the author of a series of books on distance relationships between grandparents, distance sons and daughters and distance grandchildren. One of Helen’s children was an expat with a travelling partner. This episode is a conversation being a distance grandparent when your expat child is solo parenting.In This Episode:The importance of generations understanding each other in distance familiesBeing available but keeping boundariesDistance Parents/in Laws are all different ! Advice for Distance Parents How a Distance Child can use this advice to ask their parents/in laws for helpWhat if you have a difficult relationship with Parents/In Laws ?Resource Mentioned in the Episode:Being a Distance Grandparent by Helen Ellis5 Love Languages by Gary ChapmanIt's All About Relationships by Karen L Rancourt

Synopsis:Margaret Ghielmetti knows what it is like to be home alone when she thought she was moving abroad with her husband and not moving abroad waiting for her husband to come home. She talks about her journey from thinking she would be fine to the reality she encountered to finally being open about needing help and creating a life for herself on her own terms. In this Episode:  The metaphorical life handbook we receive from our families.Why Margaret was surprised by the effect of her husband’s travelling although she (thought she) knew what she had signed up for.Supporting each other when not in the same place. Expressing your needs.Sharing the blessing of allowing others to help us.Stop saying ‘I’m fine’.Deciding non-negotiables for you! Keeping soft boundaries.Casting a wide net.Feeling lonely when you feel you should be feeling lucky.Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:     Brene Brown/The Anatomy of TrustGuidebook ‘Asking for help’ Contact Margaret:‘Bravi(ish): A Memoir of a Recovering Perfectionist’www.margaretghielmetti.com

SynopsisIn this episode I talk about what you can expect from this podcast and why I am doing it. Extract from the book Holding the Fort Abroad: “Holding the fort, or, in American English, holding down the fort, is an expression that means taking care of things during someone’s absence. In March 2019, as my husband prepared to live in Afghanistan for two years while I stayed in Switzerland, I realised that he has travelled for work throughout our 15-year marriage, albeit not eight weeks at a time, as we were then planning. It would be fair to say I took care of home, family and my own projects while he was away. There have been times when I arrived with our two boys at the location of my husband’s new posting and he was already off on a work trip. In the meantime, I found a home, transitioned the children into a new school and settled in. Or the other way around: he went on to his new job while I sold the house, organised the goodbyes and shipped us all off to our new destination. Over the years, I have had conversations with fellow globally mobile families about the fact that often, a big part of a posting includes work travel. Frequent business travel is mentioned, along with loss of social network, loneliness and resentment as typical stresses of expatriation on the Accompanying Partner. But its impact is rarely looked at separately. It is high time we start talking, in its own right, about life abroad with a travelling partner.”Resources mentioned in the showHolding the Fort Abroad - BookFollow Rhoda at:InstagramSolo parenting expat mums - Facebook groupLinkedIn