Bananas - Funny news from around the world with Scotty Landes and Kurt Braunohler

Kurt and Scotty talk about how Nebraska got it’s own Navy, a soccer player fired after farting too much, fish causing the ocean to move when they have sex, holy water spiked seltzer, a flamingo on the loose in Texas, the speed texting record, Nissan creating it’s new car smell and the Harry Potter broomstick toy that might be a vibrator! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener stories and confessions about a store clerk who didn’t know what a banana was, stealing money from mom for sweets, being a secret alcoholic and getting sober and pretending to have pinkeye to get out of work! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from the Aladdin Theater in Portland! Kurt and Scotty talk about a man who almost lost his penis after pubic hair cut off circulation, a man who snorkeled into a music festival, an Australian paraglider who landed and was immediately punched by kangaroo and how Jeff Koons is sending sculptures to the moon! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Katie Notopoulos (technology reporter for Buzzfeed) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about Dallas getting Rick-Rolled by a massive QR code, pizza shop workers that took down a robber only to realize it was their former boss, giving lions oxytocin and a man who got his nose broken when a paraglider crashed into him! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your confessions about bad neighbors! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a college student who demanded an airplane from Pepsi, how most people can't name all their grandparents, a vasectomy doctor named Dick Chopp, a man who offered free pancakes to make friends and an elderly woman who got arrested for a slow speed chase! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Cristela Alonzo (comedian, actress, writer) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a Denver man who faces felony charges over making a pickle ball court, a man who delivered his resume to companies by dressing up as a donut delivery person and a woman who allowed a baby bird to nest in her hair! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener confessions about tampon stealing revenge and releasing groundhogs into someone else’s garden! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Charlize Theron joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about the wild world of experimental surgery, multiple people who fell out of a building after man fell off a nearby roof, a foul mouthed crow that befriended a school class and a woman who discovered a naked man who had been living in her trunk for 3 days! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher (The Endless Honeymoon podcast) join Kurt and Scotty to talk about a vulva shaped spaceship, including wax figures of celebrities in your wedding, volunteers needed for the muff festival and a goat that helped with a police chase! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from Tacoma, Washington! Jessica Dobson returns to the podcast to chat with Kurt and Scotty about a man who tried to cash a 368 billion dollar check, a woman who hired Miss Bigfoot for a kids birthday party, a model school pupil who turned out to be a 30 year old imposter and a hero dog that faked rescuing children for treats! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about person who lived with their partner and cheated with their roommate and lying about dating Chad Kroeger! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Zainab Johnson (comedian, Upload) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about certain emotional support animals not being allowed to fly anymore, a church clock that was fixed with two cans of WD40, a man rescued twice in two days while hiking in Arizona, ranch dressing diamonds and how vegetables might not actually help your help! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kara Klenk and Liza Treyger (That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast) are back on Bananas to chat with Kurt and Scotty about a robot that bought ecstasy online, a man who was arrested after stealing a car and leaving it on train tracks, the story about the Shakespeare fanatic that introduced all the Bard's birds to America and a Massachusetts woman who won a trip to New Hampshire on The Price Is Right! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about another incident where someone barfed out their dentures and other adventures at sea! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bridget Everett (Somebody Somewhere on HBO Max now) chats with Kurt and Scotty about why the US is hiding billions of pounds of cheese, a man who tried to sneak 52 lizards and snakes into the US, free rent for a walrus impersonator and a man who broke into a home, took a bath, drank a beer and left $200 for damages! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sasheer Zamata (SNL, Woke, Best Friends podcast) chats with Kurt and Scotty about a drunk brawl at DisneyWorld, a priest who baptized people incorrectly for years, a company that is offering people $6000 to smell their dog's poop, a kid who snuck his own book into the library and a woman who faked pregnancy for paid time off! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your confessions about laughing at a date's tattoo, breaking a gas pump, pooping in front of your significant other, a man who got out of the car to yell at another driver and his car went off a cliff, food halls in college, pretending to be an architect and fashion blogger to get into parties and faking a friends community service hours! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sheila Carrasco (Ghosts) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a man who gets his dentures back after losing them 11 years earlier, the internet of dongs, a cross-country Olympic skier who suffered a frozen penis and the worst Olympian ever! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a ribbon cutting at the world’s smallest park, a man who pranked people at his own funeral, a bored security guard who doodled on a million dollar painting, banned baby names and the FDA dropping it’s regulation for French dressing! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about about how octopuses might be aliens, a veteran using fortune cookie numbers to win the lottery, a man who finds dozens of tunnels under his house and a village in Antarctica where people aren’t allowed to have their appendix! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Becky Lucas (comedian, The Becky and Cam Hotline podcast) chats with Kurt and Scotty about a woman with two vaginas, a woman who ate so much sushi she ended up in the hospital, Turkmenistan’s leader doing donuts next to a flaming crater, a man who survived 27 hours at sea following a tsunami and the guy who played Barney the Dinosaur’s tantric sex business! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener confessions about sleeping with twin brothers, reheating chicken and falling asleep, going on a date with a porn star and parents who decided on different names for their baby! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Taylor Tomlinson (comedy, Sad in the City podcast) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a flock of pigeons abducted in NYC, a doctor who branded patients livers with initials, a vacuum robot that escaped from a Cambridge Travelodge and a man who’s job was so tedious he suffered from bore-out and sued! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Robby Hoffman joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a man who runs a moist towelette museum out of a planetarium, how a bartender's tip led to an arrest in a buoy burning, a man that tried to fill a scuba tank with weed smoke and lost his testicles and a man who lied to his wife for over a decade about Haribo gummy bears! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read confessions about stealing snacks that an ex that used to hide around the house, faking a British accent to impress a girl and dating someone and not being able to pronounce their name! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about North Korea’s claim that Kim Jong Il invented burritos, a woman who yelled she was engaged out her window in NYC, the 90 Day Fiancé star who had to stop selling her farts, a woman who ran 49 red lights in her ex boyfriend's car and how the last time the Suez Canal was blocked a micro nation formed! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty are joined by Elizabeth Taylor and Alix Shapiro of True Beauty Brooklyn to talk about making plastic out of salmon sperm, a man who was born a dwarf and died a giant, a bride who got pooped on, vomited and then passed out, a girl that found Bronze age axes with a metal detector and a man who fell out of a Subway ceiling after a robbery spree! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about a dad being hypnotized and an encounter with a weird man involving photography and cashews! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your confessions about getting revenge on bad roommates, looking up big boobs on mom’s work computer and a roommate who tried to get their money back on a dead fish! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lillie West (Lala Lala) chats with Kurt and Scotty about a cheese fire shutting down a Norwegian tunnel, college banning animal nudity, envelopes full of money found in Joel Osteen’s church walls and cyberpunk albatrosses! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from the Dynasty Typewriter in LA! Georgia Hardstark joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about how many communions it would take to actually eat Jesus, a lost hiker who ignored calls from rescuers, farting into petri dishes and a man who eats all his meals at Six Flags! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about plagiarizing famous people’s autographs and how a doctor thawed cadavers! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read confessions about a dog who ate 11 stuffed animals twice and a woman who brought a kangaroo and iguana to a hair salon! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about how bookstores can make people have to poop, Ranch-nog, a rain storm that only fell on one car, NASCAR’s flim-flam man and sand being inducted into the toy hall of fame! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from The Bell House in Brooklyn, NY! Special guest Hannah Pilkes joins Kurt and Scotty talk about an update on the bishop who left the church for a Satanic writer, a space cloud of booze, a cow that escaped a slaughterhouse and went to a water park and a woman who kept feeding her neighbor's sad horse! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a very eclectic dad and a college confession about peeing on steaks! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about a friend with a mysterious party trick, and an incident with a raccoon at a thrift store! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about Instagrammers flocking to a toxic dump, a man who broke a record juggling axes, a snowstorm that left dozens stranded in UK pub and how seals have an 18 second memory! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hannah Einbinder (Hacks) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a math tutor who posts his lessons on Pornhub, a car parked in the same spot for 47 years, a turkey on the loose in Rhode Island and sandals from Kmart that make a fart noise! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener stories about yard flamingos and swingers and a creepy customer at a coffee shop! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your confessions about stealing a desk from work and pulling one over on the man! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live in Fort Wayne, Indiana! Kurt and Scotty talk about a man who declared his love using Rubik’s Cubes, a man who ejaculates from his anus and urinates feces, a chicken who lived for months without a head and a Texas football coach’s stripper girlfriend's monkey that bit a child! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Morgan James (new album A Very Magnetic Christmas) chats with Kurt and Scotty about a man who was arrested in a car chase and claimed to be teaching his dog to drive, a dating app for cat lovers, a man creating a cow helicopter, the number one delivered item by Uber Eats in 2021 and a 25 year old puddle! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your confessions about lying about being on “happy pills”, tricking a significant other into eating leftovers and leaving a butt imprint on a church piano bench! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scott tell a listener stories about fake snow causing chaos and a found dildo on a cruise! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Celia Pacquola joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about the dancing plague of 1518, a fake pilot caught after flying planes for 20 years, a woman that sued Geico after having sex in a car and getting an STD and how the inventor of the Pringles can was buried in one! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live in Hamden, Connecticut! Danielle Henderson (I Saw What You Did podcast) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about Pablo Escobar’s hippos being declared people, a man who made his date pay for $100 tacos at Taco Bell, a human zookeeper that fathered chicks with a murderous crane and the cigarette smoking, beer chugging bear that helped fight Nazis! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty get a call on the Banana phone and the listener tells a story about accidentally stealing a seeing-eye dog and they tell a story about a listener’s friend named Ricky! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about an interesting friend from law school, and a very strange pizza delivery! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.