Bananas - Funny news from around the world with Scotty Landes and Kurt Braunohler

Kurt and Scotty talk about lying roommates and more! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from Brooklyn, NY! Kurt and Scotty talk about a man falling into Mount Vesuvius while trying to take a selfie, why Cheetos are banned in Germany, a message in bottle seeking a boyfriend, the medical reason you might have to put sugar on your butthole and a shirtless drunk man arrested while shoveling pasta into his mouth! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sarah Marshall (You're Wrong About podcast) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about breathing through your butthole, a Japanese worker that lost a USB stick with the entire city’s data on it, a sentient AI that hired an attorney and a man who called the police to see if he was ripped off buying meth! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener confessions and stories about peeing in the ocean and algae starting to glow, having sex on ski gondola and locking eyes with a random person, a cat that ruins a carpet when owner has sex and pretending to be allergic to things! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about how balancing on one foot can tell you whether you will live or die, a woman who won every category at county fair but no one can find her and police pulling a python out of man’s pants after he was arrested for fighting! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

V Spehar (@underthedesknews) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about how people like other people who smell like them, a guy that spent over $8.5k a year on Pepsi, a man who is going to push peanut up a mountain with his nose and the world’s most expensive bath! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read confessions about Read matching with someone you already hooked up with and falling on a hike on a date! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about turning celebrities into lab grown salami, how drinking coffee before shopping can make you spend more money, an update on Jonathan the oldest tortoise to have ever lived, a family who’s roof was removed by contractor they didn’t hire and an update on the woman who sued Geico for getting STD while having sex in a car! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from Denver! Kurt and Scotty talk about a scientist that accidentally made a vicious mutant attack hamster, Disney ruining a proposal, the Arizona penis man and a fish that jumped into a man’s mouth and throat and lodged itself there! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your stories and confessions about vets finding underwear in dogs stomachs that reveals affairs, hiding a burger from wife so she wouldn’t eat it and never paying taxes! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Courtney Pauroso joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a rodent that disintegrates from having too much sex, a stag party that got stranded in Amsterdam, a rabbit that climbs mountains and sexy talking trash cans in Sweden! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mitra Jouhari (Three Busy Debras, Big Mouth) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a woman who tried her first real meal after eating nothing but potato chips for 23 years, a bartender who found an ATM glitch and blew $1.6 million, an update on the people who changed their name to Salmon for free sushi and the story of Staff Sergeant Reckless! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read a listener about their mom's eventful trip to the zoo as a child! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas After Dark! Kurt and Scotty talks about a Korean kid's game called Poop Needle, a man who stole a lawn mover and cut the victim’s grass, nuking the moon and a woman who gave birth at a Metallica concert! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from Vancouver, Canada! Kurt and Scotty talk about a woman that brought a wild bobcat into her house, how a falling meatball caused a student to fail a test, a Spanish driver that ate hash cakes and a woman who had a drinking glass in her bladder for 4 years! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener confessions about peeing in sibling's beds while they slept, hanging up the phone while dad was trying to book a hotel and a man that fell off a cruise ship. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a toilet that turns human feces into crypto, the 13 most fascinating festivals, a senior citizen that stole a jacket from an art museum, a McDonalds customer that was fined for eating his food at Starbucks and how Walden Pond is being killed by urine! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about how Nebraska got it’s own Navy, a soccer player fired after farting too much, fish causing the ocean to move when they have sex, holy water spiked seltzer, a flamingo on the loose in Texas, the speed texting record, Nissan creating it’s new car smell and the Harry Potter broomstick toy that might be a vibrator! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener stories and confessions about a store clerk who didn’t know what a banana was, stealing money from mom for sweets, being a secret alcoholic and getting sober and pretending to have pinkeye to get out of work! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from the Aladdin Theater in Portland! Kurt and Scotty talk about a man who almost lost his penis after pubic hair cut off circulation, a man who snorkeled into a music festival, an Australian paraglider who landed and was immediately punched by kangaroo and how Jeff Koons is sending sculptures to the moon! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Katie Notopoulos (technology reporter for Buzzfeed) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about Dallas getting Rick-Rolled by a massive QR code, pizza shop workers that took down a robber only to realize it was their former boss, giving lions oxytocin and a man who got his nose broken when a paraglider crashed into him! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your confessions about bad neighbors! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a college student who demanded an airplane from Pepsi, how most people can't name all their grandparents, a vasectomy doctor named Dick Chopp, a man who offered free pancakes to make friends and an elderly woman who got arrested for a slow speed chase! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Cristela Alonzo (comedian, actress, writer) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a Denver man who faces felony charges over making a pickle ball court, a man who delivered his resume to companies by dressing up as a donut delivery person and a woman who allowed a baby bird to nest in her hair! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener confessions about tampon stealing revenge and releasing groundhogs into someone else’s garden! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Charlize Theron joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about the wild world of experimental surgery, multiple people who fell out of a building after man fell off a nearby roof, a foul mouthed crow that befriended a school class and a woman who discovered a naked man who had been living in her trunk for 3 days! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher (The Endless Honeymoon podcast) join Kurt and Scotty to talk about a vulva shaped spaceship, including wax figures of celebrities in your wedding, volunteers needed for the muff festival and a goat that helped with a police chase! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from Tacoma, Washington! Jessica Dobson returns to the podcast to chat with Kurt and Scotty about a man who tried to cash a 368 billion dollar check, a woman who hired Miss Bigfoot for a kids birthday party, a model school pupil who turned out to be a 30 year old imposter and a hero dog that faked rescuing children for treats! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about person who lived with their partner and cheated with their roommate and lying about dating Chad Kroeger! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Zainab Johnson (comedian, Upload) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about certain emotional support animals not being allowed to fly anymore, a church clock that was fixed with two cans of WD40, a man rescued twice in two days while hiking in Arizona, ranch dressing diamonds and how vegetables might not actually help your help! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kara Klenk and Liza Treyger (That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast) are back on Bananas to chat with Kurt and Scotty about a robot that bought ecstasy online, a man who was arrested after stealing a car and leaving it on train tracks, the story about the Shakespeare fanatic that introduced all the Bard's birds to America and a Massachusetts woman who won a trip to New Hampshire on The Price Is Right! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about another incident where someone barfed out their dentures and other adventures at sea! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bridget Everett (Somebody Somewhere on HBO Max now) chats with Kurt and Scotty about why the US is hiding billions of pounds of cheese, a man who tried to sneak 52 lizards and snakes into the US, free rent for a walrus impersonator and a man who broke into a home, took a bath, drank a beer and left $200 for damages! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sasheer Zamata (SNL, Woke, Best Friends podcast) chats with Kurt and Scotty about a drunk brawl at DisneyWorld, a priest who baptized people incorrectly for years, a company that is offering people $6000 to smell their dog's poop, a kid who snuck his own book into the library and a woman who faked pregnancy for paid time off! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your confessions about laughing at a date's tattoo, breaking a gas pump, pooping in front of your significant other, a man who got out of the car to yell at another driver and his car went off a cliff, food halls in college, pretending to be an architect and fashion blogger to get into parties and faking a friends community service hours! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sheila Carrasco (Ghosts) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a man who gets his dentures back after losing them 11 years earlier, the internet of dongs, a cross-country Olympic skier who suffered a frozen penis and the worst Olympian ever! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a ribbon cutting at the world’s smallest park, a man who pranked people at his own funeral, a bored security guard who doodled on a million dollar painting, banned baby names and the FDA dropping it’s regulation for French dressing! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about about how octopuses might be aliens, a veteran using fortune cookie numbers to win the lottery, a man who finds dozens of tunnels under his house and a village in Antarctica where people aren’t allowed to have their appendix! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Becky Lucas (comedian, The Becky and Cam Hotline podcast) chats with Kurt and Scotty about a woman with two vaginas, a woman who ate so much sushi she ended up in the hospital, Turkmenistan’s leader doing donuts next to a flaming crater, a man who survived 27 hours at sea following a tsunami and the guy who played Barney the Dinosaur’s tantric sex business! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener confessions about sleeping with twin brothers, reheating chicken and falling asleep, going on a date with a porn star and parents who decided on different names for their baby! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Taylor Tomlinson (comedy, Sad in the City podcast) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a flock of pigeons abducted in NYC, a doctor who branded patients livers with initials, a vacuum robot that escaped from a Cambridge Travelodge and a man who’s job was so tedious he suffered from bore-out and sued! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Robby Hoffman joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a man who runs a moist towelette museum out of a planetarium, how a bartender's tip led to an arrest in a buoy burning, a man that tried to fill a scuba tank with weed smoke and lost his testicles and a man who lied to his wife for over a decade about Haribo gummy bears! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read confessions about stealing snacks that an ex that used to hide around the house, faking a British accent to impress a girl and dating someone and not being able to pronounce their name! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about North Korea’s claim that Kim Jong Il invented burritos, a woman who yelled she was engaged out her window in NYC, the 90 Day Fiancé star who had to stop selling her farts, a woman who ran 49 red lights in her ex boyfriend's car and how the last time the Suez Canal was blocked a micro nation formed! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty are joined by Elizabeth Taylor and Alix Shapiro of True Beauty Brooklyn to talk about making plastic out of salmon sperm, a man who was born a dwarf and died a giant, a bride who got pooped on, vomited and then passed out, a girl that found Bronze age axes with a metal detector and a man who fell out of a Subway ceiling after a robbery spree! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about a dad being hypnotized and an encounter with a weird man involving photography and cashews! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your confessions about getting revenge on bad roommates, looking up big boobs on mom’s work computer and a roommate who tried to get their money back on a dead fish! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lillie West (Lala Lala) chats with Kurt and Scotty about a cheese fire shutting down a Norwegian tunnel, college banning animal nudity, envelopes full of money found in Joel Osteen’s church walls and cyberpunk albatrosses! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from the Dynasty Typewriter in LA! Georgia Hardstark joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about how many communions it would take to actually eat Jesus, a lost hiker who ignored calls from rescuers, farting into petri dishes and a man who eats all his meals at Six Flags! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about plagiarizing famous people’s autographs and how a doctor thawed cadavers! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.