Bananas - Funny news from around the world with Scotty Landes and Kurt Braunohler

Michelle Buteau and Jordan Carlos join Kurt and Scotty to talk about snails on meth, a man who didn’t sleep for 264 hours, a dog who developed tail syndrome after happy day at the beach and a woman who ran off with 30 pigs! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from Portland! Kurt and Scotty talk about Koko the gorilla’s nipple fetish, drunk guests taking their clothes off and fighting at Disney Springs, a 12 year old kid who built a working nuclear reactor and a drunken party guest that stole thumb off $4.5 million terracotta warrior statue! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Katrina Davis joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about Diplo beating Oprah’s marathon record, Ozzy Osborne giving up acid after talking to a horse for an hour, two Virginia inmates who tunneled out of prison and went to an IHOP and Anton syndrome of people who don’t know they’re blind! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jenny Zigrino joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a woman who called cops when she couldn't tell her twins apart, a man who ate ribs in the middle seat on a plane, a Filipino student named Drink Water that became a Gatorade Ambassador and the New Mexico Game and Fish hiring bear huggers! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a man who found an Egyptian sarcophagus abandoned on the sidewalk, the museum of failure in Brooklyn, an Olympics disaster that allowed one skater to make history and a Florida man injured by a falling iguana while doing yoga! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ivy Le (FOGO: Fear Of Going Outside podcast) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about ranch dressing ice cream and Sunny D vodka, a cat who alerted rescuers to a man who fell down a waterfall, a hotel shaped like a butthole, and an apartment complex plagued by a serial balcony vomiter! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about the government saying there is an alien mothership sending mini probes to Earth, mystery Uber Eats deliveries, a cemetery taking out personal ad to find local goose a mate, Sony owning a patent to yell at your TV to skip commercials, self driving cars that can re-possess themselves and an influencer who married themself and now wants a divorce! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Eden Dranger joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a Canadian super pig, Ezekiel the pancake eating pig who stole 2 kilos of tortillas, a micro nation inside desert with a dictator and walrus ban and a priest who temporarily died, went to hell and said Rihanna was playing in hell! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about fossilized bones of a monster bird found in New Zealand, a New York alligator captured in Prospect Park, A.I. being as smart as pigeons and a bride who found her groom being breast fed by his mother before their wedding! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about whether sea cats had passports, a man who stole 200k Cadbury eggs, baseball twins who aren’t related and a man who lives in old laundry mat! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ophira Eisenberg (comedian, author, podcaster) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about the first nude ever sent, Montreal’s number one restaurant on Trip Advisor and how female dogs judge their owners when they make mistakes! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a pigeon caught in a prison yard wearing a tiny backpack of meth, a 14 year old who has been sleeping outside for over 1000 days, a woman who wanted a giant penis on her grave, surgeons extracting condom wrapped banana from inside a man and dancers flash mobbing a funeral with Another One Bites The Dust! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a bear that took hundreds of selfies on trail cam, a woman who avoided paying for groceries for 2 years, when Cleveland released 1.5 million balloons and 2 men died and two 100 year old pen pals who still writing to each other! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nina Tarr joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a man who spent $15k to become a dog, a man arrested after stealing a suitcase full of meat, the Indiana DMV rejecting license plates and a man who used his company credit card to spend $300k at a strip club. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Monica Barbaro (Top Gun) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a husband who forgot his wife after a toilet break on a road trip, a Dutch supermarket with a slow lane for lonely seniors and a Reddit post about holding a grudge over being called carrot boy in grade school! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a Space X engineer quitting to make a pizza robot, a drunk man who pooped on his own car during a sobriety test, a robotic mouth that chants A.I. prayers, aman who has eaten mac and cheese for lunch and dinner for 17 years! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a British town that canceled fireworks for a walrus, German police that chased a Tesla on autopilot, the Chilean protest dog, a couple that has been camping only 11 minutes from their home for years and the Anchorage parking fairies. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your confessions about how John Mulaney made someone realize they are bi, hooking up with a friend’s ex-boyfriends, scratching a boss’s car, reporting a friend for copyright infringement and putting hot sauce in a roommates lotion! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from Minneapolis! Kurt and Scotty talk about a goat that loves punk rock, a woman charged $8k after rental car company claimed she drove 3x the circumference of the earth, an ice age bison and a man surviving at sea by holding on to soccer ball! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's another Bananas After Dark with Lauren Cook! Lauren joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a man who took 40,000 ecstasy pills over 9 years, a husband’s strange reaction to his sister in law’s pregnancy announcement, a man catfishing a police officer and convincing him to hand over his patrol car, a Mickey Mouse statue with lobster claws and man who had to have his testicles removed after they were making a hissing noise! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener confessions about making out with a guy with a short tongue, pretending to be a secret admirer to get back at a friend and breaking a friend’s ceramics projects in class! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Allison Miller (A Million Little Things) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a man who ate 40 chickens in 40 days, a Blockbuster themed bar, a school bus driver who took kids to Connecticut instead of Rhode Island, the young scientist award, a man who figured out how many cans of Spaghetti-o’s is needed to write Lord of the Rings! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Danielle Henderson returns to Bananas! She chats with Kurt and Scotty about a 33 mile road being stolen, armpit sex at BYU, a man driving into Japan’s oldest toilet and a bag-gate scandal in cornhole! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener confessions about making a friend sleep outside when there wasn’t enough room in car and buying a puzzle from charity shop that didn’t have enough pieces and still gifting it! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Atsuko Okatsuka returns to the Bananas podcast to talk with Kurt and Scotty about history’s original Florida man, a woman suing Velveeta, a man who was fired for not being fun at work and brothers running for mayor against each other! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a lyrebird that mimics the evacuation sound at zoo, the Texas couple who thinks house is haunted by sexual ghosts, a water slide catching on fire, the first Filipino to visit every country in the world and an attorney who fought helmet laws dies in motorcycle crash while not wearing helmet! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener confessions about not knowing the Pacific Ocean has salt in it, copying a friend's art project and winning an award, throwing a dead turtle out the car window, scamming neighbors into giving money for Model UN and being a below average taster! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Chloe Radcliffe (comedian) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a man painting a beaver with his tongue, Wendy’s workers messing with railroad tracks to slow down business, scientists trying to teach robots to laugh at the right time and a person throwing a steak out the window at a dinner party! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Georgia Hardstark returns to the Bananas podcast! She joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about the fake Mr. Bean that caused a rift between Pakistan and Zimbabwe, a woman stopped in airport security while wearing a butt-plug containing her boyfriend’s ashes, a person who purchased a wild owl at a gas station and how Justin Bieber is afraid of Judge Judy! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener stories and confessions about protesting to allow smoking in the library in college and eating the top off a baguette at the store! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Cristen Conger (Unladylike podcast) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about bratwurst-gate, an online post to trade parrot for Vespa, Irish dance cheating allegations and a customer suing Barilla pasta! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a babysitter who accidentally took two year old neighbor on vacation, a pregnant firefighter that helped car crash victim before giving birth, drama with fat bear week and cans of urine being sold outside Tate Museum! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your stories and confessions about a brother who was low on potassium, blaming bad farts on boyfriend, sharting while hiding and accidentally tagging yourself on someones social posts! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from Asbury Park! Kurt and Scotty talk about dolphins recognizing friends by tasting their piss, a naked couple having oral sex and crashed into a FedEx truck, the Japanese titles for the Fast and Furious movies and a Welsh man drinking in 56 pubs in 24 hours! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Steph Tolev joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about an orchestra audience waking up screaming, King Charles hiring a piper to wake him up everyday, a food delivery robot rolling through crime scene and baby puffins being thrown off cliffs in Iceland! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your stories and confessions about responding to free pearl necklace ad on Craigslist, a typo in a breakup past, getting revenge on cheating a boyfriend and being in a cab that hit a mystery substance! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alison Rosen returns to the podcast to talk with Kurt and Scotty about how dudes only play heavy metal to impress other dudes, police being called for screaming only to find a man working out, a pumpkin spice engagement ring and snack chips that are supposed to help millennials get laid! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell stories about an alarm clock ringing inside a wall for 19 years, a woman having the last laugh at her own funeral, a table of restaurant patrons that made the waiter question reality and a runaway chimpanzee in Ukraine! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your confessions about throwing fake bachelorette parties and sneaking into friend's house with strict parents home! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lili Trifilio of Beach Bunny joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about an 81 year old man selling his prairie dog vacuuming business, a wedding invitation that accidentally sent guests to a porn site and man who won a lying down competition! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kristen Meinzer (podcaster, author) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about officials asking people to stay away from horny manatees, a woman who swallowed an AirPod and recorded sound from inside her stomach, the attempted murder of the Tualatin chub shrub, a man who got trapped in hydrogen balloon while trying to collect pine nuts and the greatest footballer names of all time! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty ready your confessions about giving pizza to random guy on street for weeks and a hand job gone wrong! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lizzy Cooperman (comedian, Lizzy Cooperman's In Your Hands podcast) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about when the Price is Right gave elephants as prizes, a nationwide competition to boost alcohol consumption in Japan, a pony mayor getting barred from local bar and a couple arrested for having sex on Cedar Point ferris wheel! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mo Welch (comedian, artist) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about AI writing news articles, strange name associations, a snake that bites a 2 year old girl who then bites the snake back and how people on average tell 4 lies a day! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your confessions about not using a gifted telescope out of fear of seeing an alien, lying to parents about summer school, lying to parents about sleeping at a friends house and being afraid of butterflies! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell stories about a Chilean man who is accidentally paid 286% his normal salary resigns and disappears, a man forced to use a British accident to navigate his rental car, the Domino’s Pizza wedding registry and a man waking up in sleeper train to find it never left station! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Bananas live from LA! Cristela Alonzo joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about scientists milking mice, a man who hasn’t stopped farting since eating ham roll, a family fearing for their safety after being targeted by seagulls and a quarterback who eats bananas with peels on and drinks coffee with mayonnaise! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your stories and learning ASL and lying to parents about being hit by a car! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about why humans are the only animals with chins, calling a girlfriend Tony Pizza, the dog lawyer, making $100k to be candy taste tester and Tom Cruise’s stolen luggage! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jackie Fabulous (@jackiefabulous) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a skydiver that was saved by fire ants, a man who thought he was constipated but actually had water bottle up his butt, coconut water being needed for pig insemination and cannabis fed chickens! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.