Bananas - Funny news from around the world with Scotty Landes and Kurt Braunohler

Kurt and Scotty talk about a remote that repels dancing grannies, a woman who beat off robbers with a Rock Band guitar, a meteorite landing on a woman’s pillow and cats being annoyed that their owners are home more! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell a listener story about how hot dogs caused a divorce! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SuChin Pak joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a drunk pilot who landed a a plane on New York City streets twice, a forklift driver who was buried under 50 tons of cheese, a family who’s dog turned out to be a bear and a suspicious package outside a library in Oregon! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kendra Cole (writer on The Wonder Years) chats with Kurt and Scotty about a clown shortage in Ireland, wild boars attacking Shakira, two kids who got locked in a super market overnight, a missing drunk man that joined a search party looking for him and the new Amazon robot that throws itself down stairs! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mary Roach (new book Fuzz out now!) chats with Kurt and Scotty about a crypto-currency trading hamster, how many s’mores you could make out of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, a miracle shark baby and lab grown woolly mammoths! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell a listener story about going on a cruise and accidentally breaking the law! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tells listener stories about working at the geriatric ward in a hospital and a very crazy pizza delivery! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Aisling Bea (This Way Up on Hulu now!) talks with Kurt and Scotty about how penguins and badgers have a gas from Venus in their feces, a man who left a photocopy of his face at a building he broke into, an update on the man who won a candy factory and a raccoon living a luxurious life in an attic! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about how a man’s sexual performance led to arson, a man that stabbed himself while driving and eating Taco Bell, how animals flirt, a man who lost his life savings on a carnival game, a man who dumped his sex doll for an ash tray and how eating a hot dog takes a year off your life! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about a very boring professor and accidentally attacking a mail delivery person! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell a listener story about a naked man who was found in a yard, and a man who drank two light beers and got way too drunk and fell asleep in a race car! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Allison Fields joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a man who could eat anything and used his skill to become a spy, the Deerfield Testicle Festival, a bishop who left his job after falling in love with a Satan worshipper, a man who stuffed a live eel up his butt to cure constipation and psychic bum readings! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kristen Schaal returns to the podcast to talk to Kurt and Scotty about a man who could suck water into his anus, a secret apartment in a mall, the Moronic Moped Marathon, the girl who won a handwriting contest and the tree that owns itself! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read your confessions about stealing toilet paper from work, hooking up with guy who didn’t own toilet paper and a substitute that ran out of class because his cat was in the microwave! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about autocorrect and a car accident and a neighborhood's Christmas mannequin! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about a customer who really wanted to bring a pet pig into a store and a very eccentric co-worker! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about scientists accidentally creating daddy short legs spiders, a naked man arrested for floating down the river while running from bail bondsmen, the universe being conscious, a man who used a a first class plane ticket to eat for free at the airport for a year, an update on Prancer the demonic chihuahua and the full story about the woman with the fudge recipe on her tombstone! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a naked high speed chase involving Satan, a house cat that shut down a school, football sized goldfish, a woman being hit by a plane while kayaking, the kayak court of Salt Lake City and a fudge recipe on a headstone! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about waking up and finding a drunk man in your hotel room and a clown traumatizing a kid at a birthday party See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this minisode Kurt and Scotty talk about Scotty's infamous pants parties, a strange passenger on a plane and a 3 year old who loves an Austrian concert violinist! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Shonali Bhowmik (musician/filmmaker/actor, Tigers and Monkeys) chats with Kurt and Scotty about the human suction cup, visitors getting injured at the Titanic museum, a man who woke up with amnesia, a man who brought his mother’s ashes on a date and how the Matrix code came from a sushi recipe! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a kids toy that sings a Polish rap about cocaine, a group of boys shipwrecked on an island for 15 months, an exorcism of dead trees at Home Depot, static electricity in a jacket that sparked fires and evacuations, and how if spiders worked together they could eat all humans in one year! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about stumbling on an Elvis impersonation contest and a family and confusion over chicken tacos! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell listener stories about a grandfather’s unique jobs and finding a coworker doing something strange with a vacuum! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Aparna Nancherla (comedian, Corporate, The Greath North) talks to Kurt and Scotty about a baby born on 7/11, cocaine users getting banned from football matches, a missing tortoise found after 30 years, land lobsters in Big Bend and a woman that won a toy Yoda! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Maria Bamford joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about fish sex and noise, Peppa Pig causing American kids to have British accents, cocky and aggressive radioactive pigs in Japan, a wood satellite and the Australian Prime Minister insisting he didn’t shit his pants at a McDonalds! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell a story about a listener who tried to kick herself in the head repeatedly and almost ruptured her appendix and a story about a listener who got a nose bleed while driving and gets pulled over! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a newspaper that congratulated a man for pleasing 15 women, the blobs that fell from the sky, Subway’s “tuna”, the world’s most expensive mango and an Alzheimer’s patient marrying his wife for a second time! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alyssa Limperis (comedy, new movie Too Late) talks with Kurt and Scotty about an update on Buddy the Beefalo, a woman who chased her daughter down the street while wearing a fox costume, a runner who collapsed during a race, a woman who had a toy stuck up her nose for 37 years, the blue people of Kentucky and French robbers that tried to rob a McDonalds! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell a listener story about a woman who met a man who just wanted to comb her hair and a listener story about a woman who listed her house as a restaurant! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ever Mainard (comedy, Paddleton) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a Baltimore man who stole an ambulance to drive himself to the hospital, a man who did not sleep for 40 years, a man who broke the world record stacking M&Ms, an accidental Dad-Fest and two women who escaped prison and were arrested in an escape room! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell stories about DNA on NYC subways, a guy who stole $21 million worth of lunar rocks so he could have sex on them, strange insurance policies and a petition for Jeff Bezos to buy and eat the Mona Lisa! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty discuss a listener story about accidentally eating acid candy and a listener story about a Viking metal band and a pigeon! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Megan Gailey (comedian/writer, I Love A Lifetime Movie podcast) joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a worm with a hundred butts, a man who was stuck on amusement park ride for 48 hours, a man who found a locked safe buried in his yard, a woman arrested for masturbating in front of chicken shop twice in a month and a man who drunk texted an aquarium! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Avital Ash (Anti Social Distance, He's Right Behind You podcast) chats with Kurt and Scotty about a man searching for his dog who went missing near a river, conversation lengths, diet noodles that wreaked havoc on a woman’s digestive system and a device invented to assist childbirth! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read listener stories about an interesting hotel stay at a band director convention, the time a mom rode a horse into a bar for a bet and Scotty talks about being recognized as people he’s not! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Yeardley Smith (The Simpsons, Small Town Dicks podcast) chats with Kurt and Scotty about Russia trying to clone a 3,000 year old army, an Australian woman who came out surgery with an Irish accent, a Sister who collects skulls, a 29 year old who posed as a high schooler to promote her Instagram and a woman named Crystal Metheny who was arrested for firing a missile into a car! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Starlee Kine (Mystery Show podcast, Search Party) talks to Kurt and Scotty about psychedelic fungus and cicadas, a marijuana strapped arrow shot towards a prison, Jesus’s foreskin and how 6% of Americans thinking they can win a fight against a grizzly bear! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty read a listener story about two cousins who had never met and ended up living together, Scotty talks about his experience dating a dancer and they read a listener story about family trip to a drive through safari park! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell a story about a 6th grade science project involving cat butts, coyotes who attacked a man on an electric scooter, thousands of employees stuck on a reply-all email nightmare, a bride and groom who crashed a house for their wedding and a turkey sex experiment! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Shalewa Sharpe (The War Report Podcast) chats with Kurt and Scotty about Prancer the chihuahua who is haunted by a Victorian child, Sparkles the Unicorn, an elderly couple who used morse code to escape an assisted living facility, a teen who accidentally moved into a retirement community and herring farts being mistaken for a submarine! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a visit to Graceland Too, a weird AirBnb experience, a moose stealing a kid and hearing weird noises at a wedding! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Carolina Groppa (Angle on Producers podcast) chats with Kurt and Scotty about a Russian man who got trapped in a boy band on a Chinese TV show, the inventor of the Heimlich maneuver, two 5 year olds who tunneled their way out of pre-school to try to buy a sports car, a woman’s swimsuit that helped her survive a shark attack, 5 people who lived in a sunless cave to study time and a 77 year old substitute teacher who received a gift from a former student! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell a story about a man who married and divorced his wife multiple times to get more paid vacation time at work, five hit men jailed after each hired the other, a man accused of tossing used coffee cups into a yard for three years, a couple who accidentally defaced a $500k painting and how the Suez Canal blockage caused a garden gnome shortage! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty tell a listener story about being arrested for not returning library books and a listener story about a man’s interesting lottery number choices! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this minisode, Kurt and Scotty talk about a rock climber who uses his skills to help a robbery case, Scotty talks about sneaking out of his girlfriends’s house in high school, a listener writes in about seeing a pirate eat half a cheesecake with his hands and Kurt talks about Chengwin and Chunk! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Millie De Chirico and Danielle Henderson (I Saw What You Did podcast) join Kurt and Scotty to talk about a man who’s friends shipped him in a crate across seas, how a bank robber’s ugly tie helped him get away, Topher Grace confronting a heckler, a mafia fugitive caught after posting cooking videos on Youtube and the weirdest penises in the animal kingdom! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's the One Year Bananaversary! Georgia Hardstark and Karen Kilgariff join Kurt and Scotty to celebrate and talk about the Taiwan government asking people to stop legally changing their names to Salmon, a man who threw a firework and lit 4 U-Hauls on fire, a woman returning abandoned boats to their owners, a woman who discovers her son’s fiancé is her long lost daughter and Mr. Brightside by The Killers unprecedented run on the UK charts! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Kurt and Scotty talk about a guy who went on tour with a band and had some interesting experiences, a grandma who wore panties on her head when she slept and more! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Laurel Bristow is back for a Bananas After Dark! Laurel, Kurt and Scotty talk about climate change shrinking human penises, a man who put 15 eggs up his butt, a found letter, A.I. generated pick up lines and the most bought items on Amazon after stimulus checks were sent out! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.