Alonzo Bodden: Who's Paying Attention?

1- New Mac, old problems2- It's raining3- Trump, Pelosi. Pelosi, Trump.4- Single issue luxury5- Rolls Royce luxury6- Thank you, Ms. Cortez.7- Thank you, government workers.8- 27 lbs. of mac and cheese... Only in ‘merica.9- The best a man can get?10- I’m gonna name my podcast after Obama too

1- Comics on Comics2- Tiffany can bomb.3- Louis can try jokes.4- Burr is not racist.5- Trump is racist.6- Let's open the government, then judge jokes.7- New laws?

1 - Buy the Wall, Buy the Wall2 - Tucker advertisers not dirty3 - Hate is a real consequence4 - Mar A Lago is a mar a dump5 - Banking While Black6 - $7 is charity, right?7 - Toys for kids is real charity8 - What they think of us9 - RIP and thank you, Ms. Marshall

1- Didn’t make Top 102- Carnegie Hell No3- Wanted: Ambassador to UN. No experience necessary.4- Wanted: White House Chief of Staff. No experience necessary.5- Biblical lies to political lies, we’re moving forward.6- Walgreens bad, CVS good7- The charge is MURDER.8- Influencers influenced by lack of intelligence9- Don’t know the hustle10- Unless you can warm up, Chicago, I quit.11- Lebron is LeGood

1– No news is good news. There’s just no good news.2– Good guy with gun is black guy with gun is dead3– Racism still works in Mississippi.4– The art of the deal closed the plant.5– Tears over tear gas6– Sinclair propaganda7– Terrorist or mentally ill? I dunno, what color is he?8– Fed Ex: We also deliver ass-whoopins.

1- Not even fire can make him human.2- My own private fireman.3- Well I tried to vote...4- Shoot first, ask questions never.5- What, no coffee? Shoot.6- What was she wearing?7- She wore a hoodie.8- Thank you, Stan Lee.

1- The Blue Wave2- I love the women3- Governors, Gays, and Goodbye, Evil4- White men are still angry5- Thank you, Ms. Biles.

1- Shout out to the funny2- The right to life isn't yours.3- You might not vote in Georgia if...4- Bombed5- Her true color is black-face.6- We've reached a new low.7- Buy yourself a town

1- Op-Ed is an old school tweet2- Tell Melania that Kanye wrote "Gold Digger"3– Babysitting while black4– Guilty. It's about time. Guilty.5– "Help, Siri, It’s a cop."6– Hurricane Michael was not caused by gays7– Extreme your selfie8– Two contractors walked into a bar

1– Rich, white, male, privilege2- Kanye: crazy, black, male privilege3– Different kind of crazy4– Baseball. Thank God, there’s baseball.

1– It may be bad but he’ll make it worse.2- Damn that Helen Keller.3- My racism isn’t racist.4- Skinhead resume.5- Thank you, Dr. Phil.6- Yoga is out to get you.7- Unreal speed, Kenya, I salute you.

1- Do you know a law?2- Your home is my home, so I’ll shoot you.3- Serena is right. Game, set, and match.4- Sacrifice everything. Yes, he did.5- My Nikes will be wearing Nikes.

1- “Don’t monkey this up.” You just did.2- Not qualified at all. Welcome to the administration!3- The accountant is ready to talk.4- Leave my wife out of it, even though I said she did it.5- Mass shooting again...6- Cop found… guilty?7- Hey, officers, there’s money in killin' them negroes.8- Mollie Tibbetts and Nia Wilson both matter.9- Aretha Franklin, Neil Simon, and John McCain. We miss you all.10- Tiger loses off the course again11- Serena, you are a super hero. Wear what you want.

1- Thanks, Florida.2- Unhinged... I got tapes.3- Truth is Not Truth. Thats true.4- Master race? You can’t get into Master Bedroom5- Stephen Miller is a verified hypocrite6- Those priests are still at it. Now where are the good Catholics?7- Don’t see Billionaires Club. Go see BlackkKlansman8- Tiger is back9- Midseason form: Go Raiders

1 – Armando Frank was killed on YouTube. No indictment necessary.2 – LeBron opened a school. People got mad. What The Fuck?!3 – Don’t count your chickens, or Ostrich as the case may be.4 – Wilbur Ross is pulling a Madoff5 – Trump tweets beyond… oh screw it, he’s at it again.6 – I lost my invisible plane again. Damn Where did I park it?7 – Q Anon is coming or maybe… it's here.8 – Nia Wilson. Say Her Name.9 – The NRA is crying snowflake tears.10 – The only thing worse than being called a racist is being a stupid racist.

1- He would, or he wouldn’t, would he, wouldn’t he?2- Treason? Nah, just Obama.3- Jesus was ‘Merican.4- I met James Comey. He’s tall.5- Standing ground… again.6- Sorry To Bother You

1- Mr. Putin, your pet is at it again.2- Oh great, now hate crimes come in all colors.3- Here comes da judge.4- A prosecutor who should be prosecuted5- Rich famous, and now self-made.6- Really self-made mayor of S.F..7- There are 64 million reasons to teach your kid soccer.

1. This decision makes sense. Just ask God.2. Benefits! Get your free benefits here!3. You will be sentenced to 30 years.4. Horrible women5. Permit Patty, Mike Huckabee, and other non-racist racists.6. Life in the poor lane7. Tweet of the Week

1- I was wrong. Don’t arrest me. 2- Horrible people, I’m noticing a pattern. 3- Locking up kids. 4- Control costs more than money. 5- Take some R&R and get laid black

1- Hello, Officer, there's an NFL playing burglar outside.2- If Canada is angry, it's you, not Canada.3- Will they or won't they? Only Singapore knows.4 - Piece of cake as long as it's not gay cake.5- Welcome, champions. Well not you, or you, or those guys.6- Tweet of the week

1- America First, whether we like it or not.2- New police tactics seem to match old police tactics.3- M.A.G.A. with no jobs or hospitals or housing or…4- NFL: No Fans League5- I’ll be damned, Rachel, someone did buy the book.6- Go! Knights! Go!7- Stacy Abrams for Governor

1- Stop calling cops. 2- I’ll be at the cookout. 3- Doing everything at the police station. 4- Gas is going up. Where’s that coal powered car? 5- Iran, Jerusalem, confusion, war. 6- I’ll bet on that. 7- Georgia on my mind. 8- The Miserable States of America

1- Bad comes in 3s2- Moving: now where’d you put that?3- James Shaw is a HERO.4- 80,000 good guys with guns can't match one black hero.5- Speaking of heroes... Michelle Wolf is mine.6- Goodbye, Bill.7- We told you he’s an idiot.8- I’m just hanging around Starbucks.

1- Moving blues2- The What House?3- The new normal4- Wah wah. I want my hate treated fairly.5- Fox News would not like M.L.K.6- M.L.K. would not like 20187- Baseball snow days

1- March For Our Lives2- Why is Rick talking?!3- You look like my daughter.4- Thou Shalt Not-- Ahhh, go ahead.5- Yes, we forgave Bill. He rebalanced the budget.6- Trump Friends7- Naomi Wadler's life matters.8- Play Ball!

1- So while I was porn-- I mean, Storm surfing...2- Too big to fail? Let's get smaller.3- Make my wall a fence.4- There's got to be a lazy one around here somewhere.5- We will return after March Madness. Hey, who broke my bracket?

1 – The Oscars.2 – We’re shooting. Not a movie, a school.3 – In God we trust. We also trust the AR-15.4 – Life is sacred. Well, for the baby Mom, not so much.5 – Coal + Steel = jobs in 19516 – Fake Science, Fake experiment, Fake whatever you got.7 – Trade you a Mexican for Somali.8 – My chair cost more than your chair.9 – Marry me baby, no really marry me, while you’re still a baby.

1- Yeah, there’s money in it. Grow Up. 2- I’m paid to talk about not paying college athletes. 3- The pros get it. 4- I love Olympians. 5- I gotta learn to Curl. 6- Kudos, Ms. Vonn. 7- Hey, Fox News, it's called freedom of speech, shut up and dribble that! 8- Dwyane Wade just dropped the mic on that issue. 9- Lauren Gibbs takes the high road and does the Olympic ideal proud. 10- James Wallace Jr., call me Bubba. Not here because of race. He’s here to race.

1- Unplugged and I like it.2- Little said, Nothing done.3- School shooting again.4- "Backpacks! Got those bulletproof backpacks here!"5- I’m not sure who’s insane: him or US.6- I’m going to Wakanda.7- Black Panther All Star Game.

1- Dial Up News.2- State of the Union.3- Obama, would you stop it?4- Today, I’m a Philly fan.5 - Dry land is in my future.

1- Shut 'em down.2- My grandfather had the answer.3- Making America great again costs money.4- We fold.5- I’m 6’3, 239 lbs. Real news of fake weight.6- Will someone tell tubby the women were marching against him.7- What’s wrong with the racist misogynistic party I supported?8. Wanna borrow some cash?

1- Smart people are too smart to say it.2- You didn’t believe that wall story, did you?3- You wanted the con.4- Nice, sweet racists.5- "We was just bein' ‘Merikkkan."6- A tough job to do well.7- Ain't easy being white.

1- Yes, California is high. LEGALLY.2- Buttons3- I resolve to get rich4- It's a new year, I’m shipping milk and pumping gas.5- Jesus Coins6- Hey, Brother, can I build you a statue?

1- Taxing: the long con.2- Listen to Pop.3- Bye, Felicia.4- 7 dirty, I mean, intelligent words.5- Spicer and the Mooch6- Alternative facts from Fake News7- Yep, that’s a hurricane.8- Guns! Guns! Guns!9- Summer of Supremacy10- Are you sure about that whole Civil War thing?11- They all agree to attack the intern12- #metoo13- Don’t judge me.14- Aaron (the Good Judge) and Jay-Z and Black princesses and Wonder Woman and Star Wars and other random good.15- Don’t give up…yet.

1- I’m wrong. Thank you, Alabama.2- They cry voter fraud because none of their disenfranchisement worked.3- Trump unfit to clean toilets. We knew it, but it's still nice to hear.4- Fear is down and so are gun prices.5- Viral video = cash. Hmmm...6- Happy Holidays, Ivanka.

1- Goodbye, Al Franken. 2- Goodbye, Trent. Who? Who the hell is Trent?! No one cares. 3- The morality of politics or politics of morality. 4- A black life mattered. 5- I apologize, Ms Vonn. 6- For rent: Your Neighborhood.

1- Thanks for nothing, Tiger.2- No pie for you.3- Couldn’t make it through one speech... Pocahontas? Really?!4- Date 14 year olds or arrest guys trying to date 14 year olds? WWJD?5- Keep my net neutral!6- Warriors did it to me again. Kudos, K.D.. Now please call Tiger.

1. I’m back from vacation.2. Citizen of the Year.3. Lookin' for the good.4. Trickle down again.5. International House of Twitter Feuds.6. Vigorous Denial.7. It's ok. Joseph was 107 when he met Mary.8. This week in sexual harassment.9. Is it worth it? Ahhh, just blame Hillary.10. Clippers losing, Trickle Down Economics: Welcome to the bad 80’s.

1- Mass Murder in Church.2- Thoughts, prayers, and other Top 10 hits.3- Hey, FB, track dis!4- "Donna Brazile, thank you." Signed, the Republicans.5- Terrorize NY? The city keeps running.6- There is peace in the force and on Twitter.7- Public schools to private prisons.8- Yeah, Ben, you don’t know s**t.9- Happy Holidaze.

1. Happy Indictment Day!2. Gone to Canada, home to same ole things.3. Weekly White Supremacist4. Bump Stop ain't stopped5. Football, politics: same nothing6. Sexual harassment goes male.7. Mr. Trudeau, Let Me In.8. Thank God for Baseball.9. Lewis Hamilton: Champion

1- Another shooting but we’re not anti-gun.2- Thoughts and prayers for sale.3- Hey, kids, go to CEO school.4- Pence is Anti-NFL. NFL is Anti-Pence.5- Mississippi is Anti-you.6- Ok, maybe it is biblical but the bible wasn’t anti-everything.7- They’re even Anti Anti-Nazi.8- R.I.P., Ralphie.

1– Misdirection worked.2- Respect the flag (available on t-shirts, boxers, or briefs)!3- Dan Gilbert offended by those more racist than he.4- President's Cup dedicated to Puerto Rico but not filled with drinking water.5– Michael Che killed it, bitches.6- 8 years? Not one N bomb?7– The Juice is Loose.

1- Take a knee.2- Pop is WOKE.3- Sadly, Katrina is now Puerto Rican.4- Russians Emails? Puerto Rico? Health Care? Nope, let's cry about football.

1- 9/11: We remember and thank you to the heroes.2- Hurricanes bring out the worst, the best, and the worst again.3- 8 year old hanged. That's attempted murder.4- BLM leadership, Lets pick the worst person again.5- It IS rocket science.6- Respect the working dog.7- One good asshole.

1- Have a wonderful flood!2- That’s what the Government does.3- Lock the church, there’s a flood out there.4- The Big Lie is just that.5- Don’t take away my dream.6- My sword is bigger than yours.

#192: Nothing to See Here by Alonzo Bodden

1- Uncivil war.2- Trump: the alt-President.3- They need us. We don’t need them.4- Stupid in all colors.

1- Oh Canada.2- What I did this summer.3- Healthcare: here, gone, and back again.4- W.W.E. Trump wants war.5- Opiod… Crisis?6- Some good news.7- Then there’s Florida...

1- Canadian news.2- Were you at the meeting?3- Secret plans.4- Just For Laughs.

1- Twitter fight as news is fake news.2- Unexpected high road.3- Independence Is Un’merrikkkan.4- Left vs Right, right?5- We OD’d on Party Before solution.6- Thou Shalt Not Steal, not even for a hobby.