Zen Pop

Cathy and Todd discuss Netflix’s documentary Unknown Number: The High School Catfish and how texts and constant accessibility blur the line between connection and chaos. What started as “stranger danger” in Gen X childhood has become “tech danger” in our kids’ phones—cyberbullying, rumors, and anonymous numbers lighting up at all hours. The documentary shows how quickly trust can unravel and how phones have become symbols of both intimacy and manipulation. The deeper lesson is that parenting through technology requires more than control or surveillance, it demands emotional maturity, boundaries, and the courage to talk honestly about what’s happening behind the screen. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Dark Side of the Moon Advance Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Catfishing Documentary and Parenting Insights Todd and Sweetie discussed a new documentary called “Unknown Number: The High School Catfish,” directed by Skye Borgman, which tells the story of Lauren and Owen, a teenage couple from a small town in Michigan who were cyberbullied for 22 months. They highlighted the documentary’s relevance to Gen X parenting and its potential to spark discussions about cell phones, emotional maturity, and parenting. Todd and Sweetie also mentioned Sweetie’s book “Restoring Our Girls” and their involvement with Team Zen, offering a free subscription to their Substack newsletter for team members. Parenting in the Digital Age The discussion centered on a documentary about inappropriate text messages sent to a teenage couple in 2020, highlighting the evolving landscape of anonymous communication and its impact on children. Todd shared insights into the differences between Gen X and current parenting experiences, noting the shift from unsupervised childhood activities to heightened technological concerns. He also discussed the decline in child harm statistics despite persistent “stranger danger” fears and shared anecdotes about prank calls and ding-dong ditching, contrasting these with modern parenting practices and the role of technology in children’s lives. Tech Evolution and Parenting Concerns Todd discussed the evolution of communication technologies and their impact on parenting, particularly focusing on the shift from traditional “stranger danger” concerns to modern “tech danger” issues. He traced the development from caller ID and party lines in the 1990s to social media and DMs in the 2010s, noting how smartphones and apps like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat have changed both children’s experiences and parental concerns about screen time and online safety. Small Town Dynamics and Technology Todd discussed the dynamics of small towns, drawing from his experience growing up in Dekalb, Illinois, and how these dynamics played a role in the documentary. He noted that in wealthier towns, more resources might be directed towards solving issues, and he observed that parents in the town featured in the documentary seemed overinvested in their children’s lives. Todd also shared his memories of early internet technology, including the excitement of getting online and the challenges of using dial-up connections, before transitioning to a discussion about the Blair Witch Project and its impact. Unraveling Threats: A Young Couple’s Story The documentary tells the story of Lauren and Owen, a young couple who were targeted by anonymous text messages in 2020, escalating to 40-50 daily threats and suicidal content. The authorities initially struggled to handle the case, with the sheriff being unhelpful and only involving the FBI after a year. The FBI liaison, Bradley, successfully traced the messages to a Verizon phone number and identified the perpetrator, though the documentary ends before revealing the answer. Cyberbullying Trauma and Misunderstanding The group discussed a documentary about a girl named Lauren who was targeted by cyberbullying, with the shocking revelation that her mother, Kendra Licari, was actually the perpetrator. They explored how Lauren’s seemingly calm reaction to the discove

Cathy and Todd talk about two 90s political favorites, Dave and The American President, and how they captured Gen X’s wishful politics. From an ordinary guy running the White House with kindness to a widowed president balancing romance and leadership, both films imagined a world where decency could still win in Washington. They explore what these stories meant in the Clinton era, why they still feel good to watch, and how their themes of authenticity, vulnerability, and optimism show up in the way Gen X parents raise their kids today. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Dark Side of the Moon Advance Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Summary Podcast Shift and Subscription Focus Andrew and Kathy discussed their upcoming podcast episode focused on the movies “The American President” and “Dave,” exploring Gen X idealism and politics. They emphasized the podcast’s shift from Zen Parenting Radio to focus on topics that excite them, such as boy bands and hair bands, and highlighted their subscription offerings, including a newsletter and women’s circle. Andrew also mentioned his book “Restoring Our Girls” and encouraged listeners to join Team Zen for access to various resources and support groups. Political Films and Cultural Context Andrew and his colleague discussed the films Dave and The American President, comparing their casts, settings, and political backdrops. They noted that Dave, released in 1993, reflected a shift in political atmosphere after 12 years of Republican presidents, while The American President, released in 1995, depicted a more partisan and bitter Washington during Clinton’s presidency. They also touched on personal experiences, such as Andrew’s recent visit to Drake University and his research into the 1993 context, including the Waco siege and Michael Jordan’s retirement. Capra Films: Optimism and Nostalgia Andrew discussed the themes and characteristics of Capra-esque films, comparing them to the movies “Dave” and “The American President.” He explained how these films embody optimism, humor, and faith in humanity, contrasting corruption with decency. Andrew also shared personal anecdotes about renting VHS tapes and the nostalgia associated with the VCR era, including a humorous story about a movie store mix-up. Comparing Political Themed Movies Andrew and his companion discussed the movies “Dave” and “The American President,” comparing their themes, genres, and personal preferences. They shared interesting facts about the movies, such as the involvement of Michael J. Fox and Annette Bening, and the use of the Oval Office set in both films. Andrew also mentioned his past habit of watching “The American President” before speaking engagements to stay focused. They briefly touched on the political themes in the movies and the characters’ roles, with Andrew expressing admiration for Annette Bening’s portrayal in “The American President.” Exploring ‘Dave’ and Political Films The group discussed the film Dave, including its connections to real-life figures and its critical reception. They explored interesting facts about the movie, such as President Clinton’s involvement and the similarities between the film and Aaron Sorkin’s later work, The West Wing. The conversation also touched on other movies set in Washington, D.C., with each participant sharing their favorite films and quotes from Wedding Crashers. The discussion concluded with a brief mention of the film’s rating on Rotten Tomatoes and the group’s enjoyment of certain John Grisham adaptations. Dave” Movie Analysis and Budget Andrew discussed the film “Dave,” highlighting its implausible premise and requiring significant suspension of disbelief. He noted the movie’s memorable scenes, including cameos and budget-balancing antics, while questioning the logic of certain plot points. Andrew also shared interesting facts about U.S. deficits, comparing historical figures and explaining the vastness of a trillion

Cathy and Todd look at how groups like Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, Boyz II Men, and One Direction shaped pop culture and redefined what young men were allowed to sing about. They created space for emotion, love, and vulnerability on stage, but always within a carefully controlled, marketable image. From Lou Pearlman’s factory-style boyband empire to Simon Cowell’s reality TV machine, they explore the rise, the nostalgia, and why boy bands are both cringe and classic at the same time, with Cathy offering deeper reflections from a longtime fan’s perspective. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Dark Side of the Moon Advance Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Todd and Kathy discussed their upcoming podcast episode on boy bands, which will focus on their cultural impact and personal favorites. They promoted their Zen Pop Parenting podcast and related offerings, including a book, newsletter, and virtual community. Todd shared a personal story about his daughter’s experience with sorority rush at Alabama, and they briefly discussed a documentary on boy bands. They also considered whether to bleep an F-bomb in their podcast and reflected on their evolving perceptions of boy bands. Evolution of Boy Bands Todd discussed the evolution of boy bands, tracing their history from the 1950s to the 1980s. He highlighted influential bands like the Beatles, Jackson 5, and New Edition, noting how these groups laid the groundwork for later boy bands. Todd also mentioned Menudo and New Kids on the Block, discussing their formation and popularity. He emphasized that boy bands have often been seen as a vehicle for popularity and commercial success, and he reflected on how his own musical tastes have evolved over time. Boy Band Era Nostalgia Todd and his companion discussed various boy bands, focusing on NKOTB, Boyz II Men, and the Backstreet Boys. They explored the history, members, and impact of these bands, with Todd sharing interesting facts about their origins and the role of Lou Perlman in their formation. They considered creating a podcast dedicated to the Backstreet Boys, given the depth of material. The conversation highlighted the cultural significance of boy bands in the 1990s and their enduring influence. Boy Band Marketing Strategies Todd discussed the contrasting approaches of Lou Perlman and Simon Cowell in creating and marketing boy bands. Perlman focused on blending individual talents into cohesive teams, while Cowell emphasized highlighting individual members to appeal to fans. They explored the cultural impact of boy bands, particularly on young girls, and the evolving dynamics between bands like the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. Todd also touched on the appeal of boy bands for both fans and performers, and the role of marketing in shaping public perception. Boy Bands and Pop Culture Todd and the other participant discussed various boy bands and their impact on pop culture. They talked about 98 Degrees, One Direction, and the Jonas Brothers, sharing personal experiences and memories. Todd mentioned attending a Backstreet Boys concert and how the band’s music helped her during a difficult time. They also discussed the lyrics and production of popular songs, including “I Want It That Way” by the Backstreet Boys. Todd shared information about Max Martin, a prominent songwriter and producer, and his work with various artists. The conversation concluded with a discussion about Brian Lattrell’s vocal issues and the challenges the Backstreet Boys faced as a result. Boy Bands: Manufacturing and Struggles The discussion focused on the history and dynamics of boy bands, particularly the Backstreet Boys, with Todd sharing insights about their personal struggles and transformations. Todd highlighted how boy bands like the Backstreet Boys were created as manufactured entities to appeal to teenage audiences, while also discussing the challenges faced by band members, including addiction and issues with authenticity. The conversation touched on the cultural impact of boy bands, their role in challenging traditional masculinity norms, and the exploitation faced by child stars. Todd

Cathy and Todd explore how 1980s glam metal, later dubbed “hairbands” in the ’90s, fused hypersexual, alpha-male posturing with makeup, teased hair, and flamboyant style, creating a theatrical masculinity that rose with MTV and collapsed with the arrival of grunge. From Def Leppard to Poison, these bands borrowed from femininity while reinforcing traditional masculinity, leading to a theatrical version of toughness built for MTV’s visual era. They discuss the rise, peak, and fall of the genre, its shift from rebellion to redundancy, and how it reflected and reshaped cultural ideas about gender, authenticity, and performance. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Dark Side of the Moon Advance Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Summary Hair Bands and Gen X Culture Todd and Kathy discussed the evolution of hair bands and their impact on Gen X culture. They clarified the distinction between heavy metal and hair bands, explaining that hair bands emerged in the early 1980s with bands like Quiet Riot and Def Leppard. Todd shared his research findings, including the origins of the term “hair band” and the influence of David Bowie on the genre. They also announced upcoming changes to their virtual community and podcast, including the addition of a Zen Parenting Radio podcast. Evolution of 1980s Hair Metal Todd discussed the evolution of hair metal bands in the 1980s, highlighting key albums and artists like Van Halen, Motley Crue, Def Leppard, Bon Jovi, and Poison. He noted that Bon Jovi transformed their style after the hair metal era, while bands like Def Leppard and Poison maintained popularity. Todd also argued that Guns N’ Roses, with their deeper musical talent, served as a bridge or catalyst in the transition from hair metal to grunge, though he acknowledged the appeal of lighter, fun songs from the era. Rock Music Evolution and Subgenres Todd discussed the evolution of rock music, particularly focusing on the transition from 1980s hair bands to different metal subgenres. He explained how bands like Van Halen and Whitesnake evolved their sound to become more mainstream, while other bands like Metallica and Slayer embraced thrash metal. Todd also shared his own categorization of rock music, distinguishing between heavy metal, hair band glam metal, and hard rock. The conversation touched on how different musical styles reflect societal changes and performative masculinity. Gender-Bending in Music History Todd and his partner discussed the evolution of masculinity in music, particularly focusing on the 1980s hair metal era and its subsequent shift to grunge in the early 1990s. They explored how bands like Van Halen and Motley Crue embraced exaggerated masculinity while incorporating feminine elements like makeup. Todd then highlighted ten notable gender-bending artists throughout history, including Harry Styles, Janelle Monae, Lady Gaga, Marilyn Manson, Annie Lennox, Freddie Mercury, Boy George, Grace Jones, Prince, and David Bowie. They discussed how these artists challenged traditional gender norms through their fashion, presentation, and music. Rock Music Influences and Experiences Todd and Sweetie shared personal stories about their musical influences and experiences, particularly focusing on their introduction to rock music in the 1980s. Todd recalled his love for Van Halen in fifth grade, while Sweetie shared her early exposure to alternative music through her sister and brother-in-law. They discussed how different people and experiences shaped their musical tastes over time, with Todd highlighting significant moments like listening to “Round and Round” in seventh grade and his unsuccessful attempt to attend a Def Leppard concert in high school. The conversation concluded with Todd recounting how he finally saw Def Leppard perform at a concert in Tinley Park with his roommates, despite initially being unable to attend due to his parents’ restrictions. Power Ballad Discussion and Debate Todd and Sweetie discussed their favorite power ballads, with Todd sharing his top 10 list that included songs by bands like Motley Crue, Def Leppar

Cathy and Todd discuss 9 to 5 and Working Girl, two movies Gen X women grew up on that shaped how we think about work, power, and what it means to succeed. We watched women push through, keep their heads down, and prove themselves in systems that were never really made for them, and we learned to do the same. We’ve told our daughters they can be anything, but we also passed down burnout, perfectionism, and the pressure to keep it all together. Now girls are asking, “Why are we working so hard for something that doesn’t even work for us?” This episode is about what these films gave us, what they left out, and how we’re rethinking success, feminism, and parenting the next generation. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Dark Side of the Moon Advance Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Summary Podcast Planning and Technical Updates Todd and Kathy discussed technical issues related to Wi-Fi and recording devices, noting improvements in connectivity. They also talked about editing a podcast, considering the duration of opening segments and transitions between songs. Todd mentioned his leg pain and a humorous incident involving an ice pack. They prepared to record a new episode of “Zen Pop Parenting,” with Todd introducing the segment. Gen X Feminism in 1980s Films Todd and his co-host discussed the cultural impact of two iconic 1980s films, “9 to 5” and “Working Girl,” exploring how they reflected and shaped Gen X feminism. They highlighted the films’ portrayal of workplace inequality, the pressure to “have it all,” and the contrast between systemic change and individual ambition. Todd shared personal anecdotes about watching these movies with his daughters and reflecting on their messages in the context of his own life and the 2016 election. The discussion also touched on the broader cultural landscape of the 1980s, including music and fashion, and how these elements contributed to the era’s feminist energy. 1991 Hearing’s Impact on Culture Todd discussed the Anita Hill-Clarence Thomas Supreme Court nomination hearing in 1991, highlighting its impact on workplace harassment awareness and the “Year of the Woman” election in 1992. He noted that while Clarence Thomas was ultimately confirmed, the hearing sparked national conversations about gender, race, and power in the workplace, with parallels to more recent events involving Christine Blasey Ford and Brett Kavanaugh. Todd also mentioned how the cultural shift influenced TV and film, citing shows like “Murphy Brown” and movies like “9 to 5” and “Thelma & Louise” as examples of changing portrayals of women in the workplace. Women’s Strength in Film Todd discussed the themes of strength and resilience in women, using examples from movies like Steel Magnolias and Working Girl. He shared interesting facts about the filming of Working Girl, including Melanie Griffith’s addiction issues and Mike Nichols’ directorial approach. Todd also highlighted Carly Simon’s achievements and the success of 9 to 5, noting its cultural impact and Dolly Parton’s role in its creation. Working Girl” Character Analysis Todd discussed the film “Working Girl,” focusing on Melanie Griffith’s transformation from a sex symbol to a leading actress and the movie’s plot twists. He highlighted the unexpected proposal scene and criticized the character development, particularly the rapid progression from an affair to a marriage proposal. Todd also compared “Working Girl” to other films with similar plot elements, such as “The Deer Hunter” and “9 to 5,” and expressed a desire to watch it as a double feature with “9 to 5.” Fantasies of Workplace Revenge Todd discussed the movie “9 to 5” and its plot, which revolves around three female office workers who fantasize about killing their boss. He shared details about the characters’ fantasies, including Judy’s desire to hunt down her boss, Dora Lee’s plan to give

Our daughters Jacey, Camryn, and Skylar join us as we explore the themes behind The Hunger Games books and movies and what they say about power, survival, and the cost of being human in an inhumane system. We talk about the Capitol’s need for control, how hope threatens oppression, and what happens when kids are forced to grow up too soon. Plus, we connect it all to parenting—what it means to show up and why sibling bonds matter when systems fail. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Dark Side of the Moon Advance Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile

Cathy and Todd discuss Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and The Big Lebowski, two films that ask the same question in totally different ways: what if we just stopped playing the game? They set the scene with the cultural vibes of the ’80s and ’90s including achievement culture, Reaganomics, slacker disillusionment and reflect on how Ferris and The Dude each push back against pressure and performance. From parade dancing and White Russians to teen burnout and existential shrugs, the share personal stories, emotional insight, and parenting takeaways, exploring why sometimes doing “nothing” is exactly what we need. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Dark Side of the Moon Advance Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Todd and Kathy introduce episode 826 of Zen Pop Parenting, which is their 9th episode in this series. They discuss the theme of “doing nothing” as portrayed in the movies Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and The Big Lebowski. The hosts debate which of these two films they would choose if stranded on a desert island, with Todd preferring Ferris Bueller for its personal connections and Kathy leaning towards The Big Lebowski. They warn listeners that the episode will contain explicit language due to clips from The Big Lebowski.Ferris Bueller’s Day Off AnalysisTodd and his co-host discuss the movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” offering their perspectives on the characters and themes. They argue that the film is primarily about Cameron’s journey, with Jeannie’s character development also being significant, while Ferris remains unchanged. The hosts set the scene for the movie, describing it as a 1986 John Hughes film set in suburban Chicago, focusing on Ferris skipping school with his friends for a day of adventure in the city. They also discuss the cultural context of the 1980s, including Reaganomics and achievement culture, and compare the film’s box office performance to other popular movies of that year.The Big Lebowski: Cult Classic AnalysisThe discussion focuses on the movie “The Big Lebowski” (1998), starring Jeff Bridges as “the Dude.” Todd explains that the film, set in early 1990s Los Angeles, follows an unemployed bowler who gets involved in a crime plot after someone ruins his rug. The movie’s absurdist humor reflects the post-Cold War era’s cultural drift and confusion. Todd notes that the film’s structure is based on Raymond Chandler’s detective stories, and despite its cult status, it was not a box office success upon release. The main character is described as a 1960s counterculture figure who remains unchanged in the 1990s.Reflecting on Classic FilmsTodd discusses his memories of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and The Big Lebowski. He recalls watching Ferris Bueller frequently after its release, noting its quotable lines and impact on his generation. Todd mentions performing a palm routine to a song from the movie and recognizes Sig Sig Sputnik’s music from the soundtrack. Regarding The Big Lebowski, Todd admits he came to appreciate it much later, only watching it for the first time about 20 years ago.Ferris Bueller’s Day Off DiscussionTodd and his conversation partner discuss their experiences with playing hooky and compare them to the movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” They explore the feasibility of replicating Ferris’s day off in real life, considering the time it takes to drive from the suburbs to Chicago. The conversation then shifts to discussing White Russians and Todd’s habit of quoting a specific line from the movie when his daughters are sick. They reflect on the differences between how mothers and fathers typically care for sick children, acknowledging that these tendencies are learned behaviors rather than biological traits.Ferris Bueller Trivia HighlightsTodd shares various random facts about the movies “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “The Big Lebowski.” He mentions that John Hughes wrote “Ferris Bueller” in under a week, and that Alan Ruck, who played

Cathy and Todd discuss Stranger Things Season 1 through a cultural, emotional, and psychological lens. They explore how the show’s 80s nostalgia, supernatural mystery, and strong character dynamics reflect deeper themes of trauma, shadow work, friendship, and resilience. Set against the backdrop of 2016 (Cubs World Series Win, presidential election, and personal turning points), they unpack why the Upside Down isn’t just a scary place but a metaphor for the parts of ourselves we avoid, and how love, connection, and curiosity help us survive what feels unknowable. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Dark Side of the Moon Advance Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Meeting summary for ZPR Podcast Recording (07/02/2025) Quick recapTodd and his co-host discussed their love for the TV show Stranger Things, exploring its themes, characters, and psychological aspects. They delved into the show’s portrayal of trauma, friendship, and personal growth, while also sharing their favorite moments and music from the series. The discussion touched on the importance of understanding and supporting children’s interests, as well as the anticipation for the upcoming fifth season of Stranger Things.SummaryStranger Things and D&D ConnectionsTodd discussed his love for Dungeons & Dragons, comparing it to the show Stranger Things, which he believes reflects his childhood. He mentioned that Stranger Things season one was nominated for 18 Emmys and won 5, and he shared interesting facts about the show’s creation and influences, including its references to various 80s movies and music. Todd also highlighted the show’s themes of friendship, family, and teamwork, and mentioned that the actors had played Dungeons & Dragons before filming began.Stranger Things Season 1 ReviewTodd and his co-host discussed their love for the first season of Stranger Things, highlighting the character of Joyce Byers and her intensity, as well as the show’s revival of 1980s and 1990s actors like Winona Ryder and Matthew Modine. They also talked about Steve Harrington’s character development and the controversial “Papa” storyline. The hosts shared their favorite scenes from the season, including the dramatic moment when Mike is willing to jump off a cliff for his friend, and the emotional reunion of the kids with Will in the hospital. They concluded by discussing the deeper themes of the show, including trauma and grief, and how it relates to their podcast’s title.Shadow Self in Stranger ThingsTodd discussed the psychological themes in Stranger Things, focusing on the upside down as a representation of the shadow self and unconscious trauma. He explained how characters like Will, Eleven, and Hopper deal with their own traumas and how facing these dark aspects can lead to personal growth. Todd also highlighted the importance of integrating the shadow self and the dangers of ignoring or repressing it. He concluded by drawing parallels to real-world issues, such as the ethical considerations in scientific experimentation, particularly in the context of AI development.ChatGPT and Stranger Things InsightsTodd discussed his interactions with ChatGPT, expressing frustration with its lack of understanding and personality, despite uploading personal information to improve its responses. He explored themes from Stranger Things, particularly focusing on the character of Eleven as a modern-day chosen one and the importance of parental trust and openness. Todd emphasized the show’s lessons for parents, including believing their children’s experiences and staying curious, while highlighting the intuitive and creative nature of children. He also humorously criticized the cluelessness of the Wheeler family in the show, drawing parallels to his own experiences.Children’s Interests and ‘Stranger ThingsTodd discussed the importance of understanding and supporting children’s interests, emphasizing that being different is a superpower and that connection heals trauma. He highlighted the significance of body language as a form of communication,

Cathy & Todd revisit the rise and fall of Milli Vanilli, one of pop music’s most infamous scandals, and discuss how their story became a powerful metaphor for imposter syndrome. In the late ’80s, image was everything—style often mattered more than substance. They take a look at what happens when performance is rewarded over honesty, and how that same pressure to “fake it” still shows up today: in parenting, work, and how we see ourselves. From cultural deception to personal doubt, this episode discusses what it means to lose your voice, find it again, and redefine success on your own terms. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile SummaryMilli Vanilli and Imposter SyndromeTodd and Cathy introduce their podcast “Zen Pop Parenting,” which explores how pop culture can help understand parenting and relationships. They discuss the topic of their current episode, “Pulling a Milli Vanilli: How Pop’s Biggest Scandal Became a Metaphor for Imposter Syndrome.” They provide background on Milli Vanilli, a German-French pop duo consisting of Rob Pilatus and Fab Morvan, and mention the documentary about them on Paramount Plus. Todd and Kathy plan to discuss the duo’s creation by producer Frank Farion, their scandal, and its relevance to imposter syndrome.Milli Vanilli: Pop Culture IconsThe discussion focused on the 1980s pop duo Milli Vanilli, their rise to fame, and their impact on music culture. Todd highlighted their stylish image, good looks, and dance moves as key factors in their popularity, while also noting that their songs were a blend of pop and R&B. The conversation then shifted to band names, with Todd and others discussing memorable and sometimes controversial names, including Toad the Wet Sprocket, Smashing Pumpkins, and Panic! at the Disco.Milli Vanilli: The Vocal ScandalThe discussion focused on the Milli Vanilli scandal, where it was revealed in 1990 that Robin and Fab, the duo’s lead singers, did not perform their own vocals, despite winning the Grammy for Best New Artist that year. The scandal unfolded during a live MTV performance when the backing track skipped, leading to one member fleeing the stage before being coerced to return. The conversation explored how the duo became scapegoats for systemic issues in the music industry, with the real singers kept anonymous while the public faced the fallout, and highlighted broader themes about authenticity in pop music that influenced the rise of grunge.Music Industry Authenticity ShiftTodd discussed the contractual issues faced by various artists, including Jojo, Prince, and TLC, highlighting the challenges they encountered due to label disputes. He also mentioned the cultural context of the late 1980s, including the AIDS crisis, the fall of the Berlin Wall, and the rise of pop culture icons like Madonna and the Simpsons. Todd emphasized the shift from escapist, image-focused music to a return to authenticity in the music industry, using Milli Vanilli as a prime example of this pendulum swing.Overcoming Imposter SyndromeTodd discussed his experience with imposter syndrome, sharing that he still feels nervous when leading men’s groups despite his success in podcasting. He emphasized the difference between feeling nervous and experiencing imposter syndrome, and highlighted that many successful people, including Neil Patrick Harris, have faced similar feelings of inadequacy despite their achievements. Todd also reflected on his career journey, noting that he no longer needs to be the one with all the answers and is open to learning from others.Milli Vanilli’s Impact on Pop CultureTodd discussed the inclusion of Milli Vanilli’s music in the “Pam and Tommy” show, clarifying that it was an acted series rather than a documentary. He highlighted the use of the duo’s songs in conjunction with high-profile events like the O.J. Simpson trial and the Menendez brothers case, noting the meta aspect of using songs that were popular during these events. Todd also shared insights about the

Cathy and Todd discuss what 80’s nerd movies like Weird Science and Revenge of the Nerds taught Gen X and what those messages look like in hindsight. They break down how these films centered male fantasies, ignored consent, and portrayed women as tools for male transformation, all while positioning the “nerd” as a misunderstood hero. They discuss the cultural backdrop: Reagan-era ideals, latchkey independence, and a tech world just beginning to take shape. Then they look at how these stories shaped a generation’s view of power, relationships, and identity and how that’s showing up in parenting today. This isn’t about canceling the past. It’s about being honest about what we learned, what we missed, and how to do better now. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI SummarySummary 1980s Nerd Culture Films ImpactTodd and Cathy discuss the 1980s movies Weird Science and Revenge of the Nerds, exploring their cultural impact and the evolution of nerd culture. They highlight the films’ controversial themes and discuss the actors involved, including Robert Downey Jr.’s early role in Weird Science. The conversation aims to reflect on how these movies shaped Gen X nostalgia and influenced perceptions of nerd culture today. 1980s Nerd Culture EvolutionTodd discussed the cultural context of the 1980s, highlighting Ronald Reagan’s presidency, the Cold War, and the shift in middle-class values. He noted the rise of underdog stories and nerd culture in movies like The Karate Kid, The Goonies, and Revenge of the Nerds. Todd also mentioned the impact of MTV and the transition from boy-centric to girl-centric nerd stories in recent years, citing movies like Mean Girls, American Pie, Napoleon Dynamite, and Juno. 1980s High School Movie MemoriesTodd and Cathy discussed their high school experiences, with Todd recalling his transition from being part of the “cool crowd” in grade school to a less prominent social status in high school. They shared memories of 1980s movies like Revenge of the Nerds and Weird Science, with Todd noting that Weird Science became a favorite due to its memorable quotes and jokes. They also discussed interesting facts about the movies, such as Kelly LeBrock’s role in Weird Science and Anthony Michael Hall’s decision to pass on National Lampoon’s European Vacation to star in it. Movie Trivia and Casting InsightsTodd and Cathy discussed various trivia and facts about movies, including John Hughes’ writing process for Weird Science and casting choices that didn’t materialize. They also explored details about the Revenge of the Nerds series, such as filming locations and interesting trivia about the cast and crew. Todd shared personal anecdotes about attending a karaoke bar called Trader Todd’s, which played a role in her marriage. The conversation concluded with a brief mention of Michael J. Fox’s potential involvement in Revenge of the Nerds and an amusing fact about Curtis Armstrong’s almost-rejection for his role due to looking too clean. Weird Science: Gender Stereotypes CritiqueThe discussion focuses on problematic aspects of the movie Weird Science. Todd points out that the film is a male fantasy that objectifies women, with the main female character, Lisa, existing solely for the male protagonists’ desires. The movie ignores consent and autonomy, reinforces toxic gender norms, and portrays women as responsible for fixing men’s self-esteem. Todd also notes the lack of diversity in the film, a common issue in John Hughes movies, and draws parallels to other films with similar themes. Sexual Assault in 80s CinemaThe group discussed two movies, focusing on their portrayal of women and boundary-crossing behavior. They highlighted issues in Weird Science and Revenge of the Nerds, including objectification, hidden cameras, and lack of consent, culminating in scenes of sexual assault that were normalized in the films. The discussion raised concerns about how these movies, watched by young audiences, contribut

Cathy and Todd discuss how two iconic shows—The Brady Bunch and Modern Family—reflect changing ideas about family across generations. They look at what made The Brady Bunch groundbreaking in the late ’60s and how Modern Family pushed those boundaries further by exploring race, sexuality, parenting, and identity. They compare how each show handles conflict, humor, and the realities of blending families, whether through remarriage, adoption, or shifting roles. They share personal stories, favorite episodes, and the moments that still resonate. They also highlight what holds up, what doesn’t, and what these shows teach us about belonging, repair, and the work it takes to stay connected. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI SummaryBlended Families in TV HistoryTodd and Cathy discussed the differences between the Brady Bunch and Modern Family, focusing on their portrayals of blended families and the cultural impact of each show. They highlighted that the Brady Bunch, a 1960s-70s sitcom, depicted an idealized nuclear family structure, whereas Modern Family, a 2000s mockumentary, explored more complex emotional themes and diverse family dynamics. They also touched on the shows’ representation, with the Brady Bunch being heteronormative and all-white, and Modern Family embracing diversity in race, culture, and sexuality. Todd shared personal anecdotes about their family’s connection to both shows, including a memorable cameo video for their daughter.Brady Bunch: Cast and Spin-OffsTodd discussed various aspects of the Brady Bunch series, including its spin-offs, cast dynamics, and behind-the-scenes details. He mentioned that Robert Reed, who played Mike Brady, was a closeted gay man and had a difficult relationship with the show. Todd also covered the show’s various sequels and spin-offs, including the animated Brady Kids and the 1990s reboot. He shared some interesting facts about the cast, such as Barry Williams’ surfing scenes and Ariel Winter’s legal emancipation from her parents.Brady Bunch and Modern Family NostalgiaTodd and Cathy discussed cultural references from “The Brady Bunch” and “Modern Family,” including quotes, episodes, and characters like Cousin Oliver and Aunt Jenny. They shared their thoughts on specific moments and characters, such as Cam’s Fisbo persona and Dylan’s song in “Modern Family.” The conversation was light-hearted and focused on nostalgia and humor related to these shows.Blended Family Dynamics in TVTodd discussed the themes of blended families in the TV shows “The Brady Bunch” and “Modern Family,” focusing on how these families navigate emotional depth, adapt to change, and resolve conflicts. He emphasized the importance of humor, patience, and understanding in blended families, highlighting how the shows demonstrate that family is a construction and not solely based on biology. Todd also discussed how the characters evolve over time, showing that people can outgrow their initial roles within a family. He concluded by touching on the challenges of maintaining fairness in blended families and the need for parents to balance loyalty and inclusion for all children involved.Balancing Work and Family DynamicsTodd discussed the challenges of balancing work and family life, emphasizing the importance of communication and validation in family dynamics. He highlighted the unique experiences of different family structures and the need to acknowledge and validate each other’s feelings. Todd also compared the parenting styles and conscientiousness of the Brady Bunch and Modern Family, concluding that the Modern Family kids may be more evolved due to the show’s later release date.Comparing TV Classics: Brady Bunch vs. Modern FamilyTodd and Elise discussed and compared two classic TV shows: The Brady Bunch and Modern Family. They ranked characters from both shows and highlighted memorable episodes and guest stars. Todd expressed that while Modern Family is a better show in terms

Cathy and Todd explore the rise of 90s grunge and the tragic stories of its most iconic frontmen — Kurt Cobain, Chris Cornell, Layne Staley, Scott Weiland, and others — whose music reshaped rock while exposing the industry’s deep neglect of mental health and addiction. From the breakthroughs of Nevermind and Ten to the cultural shift away from glam and pop, this show shares how Gen X’s disillusionment found its voice in grunge and what the deaths of its stars teach us about authenticity, vulnerability, and the danger of romanticizing pain. They dive into the music and movies of the era, unpacking myths like the 27 Club and the idea that great art has to come from suffering, while reflecting on how these stories can shape the way we live, connect, parent, and develop emotional intelligence in a more grounded, meaningful way. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Dark Side of the Moon Advance Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Meeting summary for ZPR Podcast Recording (05/27/2025) Quick recapThe discussion explored the rise and impact of grunge music in the early 1990s, examining how it replaced other music genres and influenced pop culture through movies and fashion trends. The conversation delved into the tragic deaths of prominent musicians and the challenges faced by Gen X artists, including their struggles with mental health and addiction while navigating cultural shifts. The discussion concluded with reflections on the authenticity of pain in art, the role of the music industry in exploiting artists’ struggles, and the cultural impact of 1990s grunge music through personal connections and trivia.1990s Grunge and Mental HealthTodd and Kathy discuss the deaths of 1990s grunge music lead singers, focusing on the impact of mental health and addiction. They plan to explore the cultural shift of 1991, when Nirvana’s “Nevermind” album overshadowed Michael Jackson’s “Dangerous,” as a significant turning point in pop culture. The podcast aims to balance pop culture discussions with serious topics like mental health and wellness.Grunge’s Rise and Cultural ImpactThe discussion focused on the evolution of music genres, particularly the rise of grunge in the early 1990s and its impact on other music styles. Todd explained that bands like Soundgarden, Nirvana, and Pearl Jam were considered the “Big 5” grunge bands, while The Smashing Pumpkins, despite their popularity, were not classified as grunge due to their different aesthetic and goals. The group also discussed how grunge music, characterized by emotional honesty and minimalism, replaced other genres like hair metal, corporate rock, and synth pop, and how this shift was reflected in movies like “Singles” and “Reality Bites.”Grunge Music and College MemoriesTodd and his friend discussed the grunge music era, sharing memories of listening to albums like Nirvana’s “Unplugged” and Pearl Jam’s “Ten” in college. They reflected on fashion trends of the time, noting how differently students dressed compared to today. The conversation also touched on the release of several significant albums in 1991, including Guns N’ Roses’ “Use Your Illusion” and Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “Blood Sugar Sex Magik.” They briefly mentioned the death of Blind Melon’s Shannon Hoon and his impact on the band’s music.Musician Deaths and Mental HealthThe discussion focused on the tragic deaths of several prominent musicians, particularly those who died at the age of 27, including Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, and Jim Morrison. Todd explored the reasons behind these deaths, attributing them to addiction, mental health issues, and a lack of support in the music industry during the 1990s. The conversation also touched on the beef between Kurt Cobain and Axl Rose, and the origins of the phrase “It’s better to burn out than to fade away.” Todd emphasized the need for better mental health support for artists and the importance of addressing the glamorization of early death

Cathy and Todd dive into how 80s pop culture—especially the roles played by William Zabka—shaped Gen X’s early ideas about bullying, power, and masculinity. From The Karate Kid’s Johnny Lawrence to Just One of the Guys’ Greg Tolan, Zabka’s characters weren’t just villains—they were cultural blueprints. In this episode, they explore how these archetypes trained us to recognize bullying as loud, obvious, and physical, and why that old model leaves many Gen X parents unequipped to understand the quiet, social cruelty their kids face today. They reflect on Zabka’s surprising return in Cobra Kai, the emotional growth Gen X is still working through, and how we can better support a generation that sees power and empathy very differently. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Meeting summary for ZPR Podcast Recording (05/20/2025) Quick recap The podcast episode focuses on exploring 1980s pop culture and its impact on Gen X perceptions of bullying and social dynamics, particularly through movies like The Karate Kid and discussions about actor William Zabka’s roles. The hosts share personal experiences with bullying and examine how these cultural references have evolved over time, including the success of the Cobra Kai TV series as a modern reimagining of the original story. The episode concludes with a trivia game about 80s movies and TV shows, followed by discussions about song choices and upcoming content for the podcast. Summary Podcast Planning: Zen Pop ParentingTodd prepares for recording a podcast episode, discussing technical aspects like audio fading and applause. He reviews the show’s intro, which focuses on connecting families through movies, music, and meaning. Todd also mentions incorporating clips from William Zabka and references to “The Karate Kid.” The episode appears to be part of the “Zen Pop Parenting” series, which combines Gen X pop culture with real-life reflection. Zabka’s Bully Roles in 80s CinemaThe discussion focuses on actor William Zabka and his portrayal of bullies in 1980s movies, particularly in “The Karate Kid” and “Just One of the Guys.” Todd and his co-host explore how Zabka’s characters shaped Gen X perceptions of bullying, power dynamics, and masculinity. They also touch on other 80s movies and actors, including “European Vacation” and “Back to School,” and briefly discuss the trend of female celebrities showing their breasts in films during that era. The hosts emphasize how these movies and characters, though outdated, have left a lasting impact on their generation’s understanding of social dynamics. Reflecting on Past Bullying ExperiencesTodd shares two personal stories about bullying from his past. In the first, he recalls being punched in the mouth by a classmate named Steve in high school after being a “smart ass.” In the second story, Todd admits to bullying a classmate named Jim in fourth grade, later apologizing to him as an adult, though Jim didn’t remember the incident. Todd’s colleague then shares two of her own bullying experiences from childhood, including being pressured by male friends in fourth grade and a high school incident where a girl threatened to beat her up but ultimately just wanted help with schoolwork. Revisiting the Karate Kid LegacyThe discussion covers various aspects of 1980s pop culture, focusing on The Karate Kid and its actors. Todd and his co-host share trivia about William Zabka, who played Johnny in the film, noting that he was less popular than other teen idols due to his villainous role. They also discuss the film’s ending, pointing out that Daniel’s winning move was technically illegal under tournament rules. The conversation then shifts to the TV series Cobra Kai, which they praise for its humor and fresh perspective on the original story. They briefly touch on other 80s reboots, including a short-lived Brady Bunch sequel series, before returning to discuss Cobra Kai’s success in reexa

Cathy and Todd explore how The Outsiders became a defining moment for Gen X identity—and launched a generation of future stars who dominated Teen & Tiger Beat. They break down how the movie came together, what it taught us, and why its themes still resonate today, for us and our kids. Plus, all the WTF moments, random facts, unforgettable quotes, and cringe-classic scenes that make it both iconic and fun to revisit. Zen POP Parenting is about seeing pop culture as more than just entertainment. It can be a mirror, a guide, and a spark for personal growth. It also helps us connect with our kids and remember what it felt like to be their age. Join us for nostalgic trivia, competitive games, and a new way to bring connection and curiosity to your podcast listening. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary

Welcome to the very first episode of Zen POP Parenting with Cathy and Todd! We’re kicking things off with a deep dive into MTV and the iconic song Video Killed the Radio Star. We’ll explore how MTV shaped our culture, influenced our parenting, and impacted our sense of self. As Gen Xers who grew up with the rise of music videos and 24-hour cable TV, we’re revisiting the pop culture that shaped us and considering how it still shows up in how we parent today. We’re also introducing new segments—like Remember When, WTF, Rolling in the Deep, Parenting, Cringe or Classic, and more—offering pop culture reflections alongside the usual Zen Parenting depth and insight. Zen POP Parenting is about seeing pop culture as more than just entertainment. It can be a mirror, a guide, and a spark for personal growth. It also helps us connect with our kids and remember what it felt like to be their age. Join us for nostalgic trivia, competitive games, and a new way to bring connection and curiosity to your podcast listening. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Summary MTV’s Impact on Gen XIn the first episode of the revamped podcast, Zen Pop Parenting, Todd and Kathy discuss the impact of MTV on their generation, Gen X. They reflect on how MTV changed the way they perceived music and artists, and how it influenced their sense of self. They also discuss the evolution of music consumption, from vinyl records to digital platforms, and how this has shaped their experiences. The podcast aims to explore the intersection of pop culture and parenting, and how these elements have shaped their lives. MTV’s Impact on Music IndustryTodd discussed the early days of MTV and its impact on their generation. He mentioned how MTV initially played mostly British artists due to their readiness for the visual medium. Todd also shared some of the first songs played on MTV, including “Video Killed the Radio Star” and “Billie Jean.” He highlighted the importance of MTV in breaking racial barriers in the music industry, with Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” being a turning point. Todd also mentioned some of the memorable moments in MTV history, such as the introduction of “Cribs” and “Yo MTV Raps.” The team also discussed some of the weird and memorable moments in MTV history, including the interview with David Bowie and the appearance of Courtney Love on stage with Madonna. MTV’s Influence on Gen XTodd discussed the impact of MTV on the Gen X generation, highlighting how it influenced their emotional development, creativity, and individuality. He noted that MTV provided a visual medium for storytelling, allowing viewers to connect with artists and their personal lives. Todd also emphasized the importance of music in processing life experiences and how it has become a soundtrack for generations. He concluded by discussing the power of representation in pop culture, suggesting that understanding the music and shows of the past can help parents better connect with their children. Music Game and MTV TriviaIn the meeting, Todd and his friends discussed the creation of a music game where they come up with a topic or word and choose a song that connects well to it. They emphasized the importance of choosing a song that is not too obvious or too obscure. Todd also shared his experience with the game, including a memorable moment when he chose the song “99 Luft Balloons” to represent a particular topic. The group also played a trivia game related to MTV and its history, with Todd providing the answers. The conversation ended with an announcement of the next episode’s topic, which will be about the movie “The Outsiders” and its impact on their generation.

Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! Cathy and Todd share the story behind Zen Parenting Radio’s evolution into Zen Pop Parenting—a podcast where mindful living, emotional awareness, and Gen X pop culture come together. From the music, movies, and moments that shaped them to the real-life experiences of parenting kids (young or grown), they explore how connection and communication help people better understand themselves and each other. For longtime listeners of Zen Parenting Radio, there’s no need to worry, they’re still the same Cathy and Todd. They’ve kept a strong focus on parenting and self-awareness, continuing to explore how to stay connected to their kids and true to themselves. This is simply an update—a way to build on what’s always worked and view it through a fresh lens. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen MenLiving Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: 11 mistakes I have made as a husband (and why I’m better for it) Listen, Allow, Support, Repeat Podcast #244 Listen To This One With Your Partner- Podcast #378 A Call To Men Podcast #449 Real-Time Emotional Labor- Podcast #440 The Profound Loneliness of American Men- Podcast #429 How Do I Get My Partner To….- Podcast# 423 The Gift Of Failure- Podcast #407 The Five Invitations- Podcast #406 Emotional Labor is an Unpaid Job- Podcast #405 The Joke- Podcast #469 Connection Is Everything Podcast # 483 (Gottman) Wounds & Triggers- Podcast #528 Emotional Neglect: What Your Feelings Are Saying- Podcast #512 The Enneagram- Podcast #508 Managing Screen Time Part 1- Podcast #558 Managing Screen Time Part 2- Podcast #559 Spiritual Bypassing & Race- Podcast #551 Women’s Rights are Human Rights- Podcast #616 Getting To Zero- An Interview With Jayson Gaddis- Podcast #621 Dr. Dan Siegel- The Power of Showing UP- Podcast #526 A Discussion With Dr. Shefali Tsabary (Replay) Podcast #289 “All Teenagers Are Amazing” – Dr. John Duffy Podcast #264 “All Teenagers Are Amazing” Part 2- Dr. John Duffy Podcast #266 Setting Boundaries With Love Outliving Cancer with Tears, Wit, and Grace 10 Habits To Turn Your Marriage Around 10 Mistakes I Made as a Wife (And Why I’m Better For it) For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI SummaryZen Pop Parenting Podcast LaunchTodd and Kathy introduce their new podcast format, Zen Pop Parenting, which will blend pop culture discussions with their existing focus on self-awareness, mindfulness, and parenting. They reflect on their 15-year journey with Zen Parenting Radio, sharing statistics on listenership and international reach. The hosts express excitement about the new direction, emphasizing that it will maintain their core values while incorporating more fun, nostalgia, and pop culture references to better connect with their audience and their children’s experiences.Reflecting on Podcast ThemesTodd and Kathy reminisce about various podcast episodes they’ve recorded over the years. They recall a story about a young ballet dancer named Soren, whose father was inspired by their “Zen parenting” approach. They also discuss episodes on understanding women, emotional labor, loneliness in men, and the importance of connection in relationships. The conversation touches on personal experiences, including dealing with perimenopause and losing parents, as well as their discussions on death and analyzing song lyrics.Understanding Emotional Neglect in RelationshipsTodd discusses several relationship and psychological concepts. He mentions the “Four Horsemen” in relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, with contempt being the most detrimental. Todd also talks about emotional neglect, explaining how it can affect children’s development when their feelings are ignored or dismissed by parents. He references the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) test, which includes questions about various forms of childhood trauma, including emotional neglect. Todd emphasizes the importance of recognizing and naming these experiences to understand personal struggles, particularly for Generation X who may have experienced emotional neglect in their upbringing.Zen Parenting Podcast Evolu

Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! Cathy and Todd discuss what brings you both peace and fire and why your somatic experience (what you feel in your body) is a more authentic guide than overthinking. They unpack what the word miracle really means, challenge narrow ideas of productivity, and share a single word that can help you enjoy life instead of staying stuck. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen MenLiving Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp 0:00 What adds peace and fire? 28:22 A Word for When It’s All Too Much 30:42- Boundaries * Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Pop Culture Meets Mindful ParentingTodd announced a shift in the focus of Zen Parenting Radio, emphasizing a new direction that integrates pop culture as a primary lens to explore themes of mindfulness, parenting, compassion, and self-awareness. He explained that the show will delve into how pop culture reflects societal values, connects families, and offers insights into personal growth. Starting June 1st, the show will feature updated content, a new title, and a renewed enthusiasm while maintaining its core message about the importance of a parent’s self-understanding for a child’s well-being. Somatic Awareness and Peaceful ChoicesTodd and Sweet discussed two pieces of writing, focusing on the concept of “what adds peace and fire” and the somatic experience of feeling versus thinking. They explored how somatic awareness can guide personal choices, bypassing intellectual considerations to connect with bodily sensations. Todd shared personal examples of peace-inducing activities, including rabbits, walks, and reading, while emphasizing the importance of balancing thinking and feeling in decision-making. Finding Peace and ProductivityTodd and his partner discuss various ways they find peace and relaxation. Todd mentions driving his Jeep with the top down and a good sound system, which he also uses to help regulate his daughters’ moods. They talk about enjoying nature, such as lilac trees in their backyard and a cardinal that sings daily. The couple also discusses different perspectives on productivity, with Todd’s partner encouraging a broader definition that includes activities like reading or yard work. They reflect on how their different approaches to relaxation and productivity affect each other. Music’s Personal and Social ImpactThe group discussed personal connections to songs, with Todd sharing how “Sweet Baby James” by James Taylor evokes memories of his father, while Tracy highlighted the significance of Tracy Chapman’s music in her life, particularly regarding social justice issues. The conversation then centered on Milt Hold’s song “Quiet,” which was written after experiencing sexual assault and became widely known during the 2016 Women’s March. The song’s powerful performance at a conference left a lasting impact on the group, with its message resonating deeply with themes of personal empowerment and social awareness. Active Listening and Personal BoundariesTodd discussed the importance of active listening, emphasizing the need to balance empathy with personal boundaries. He shared his personal journey of developing “full body listening” and the challenges of maintaining boundaries while being present for others. Todd also introduced the concept of “liberosis,” a term from John Koenig’s Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, which describes the desire to care a little less and loosen one’s grip on concerns. Embracing Freedom in Life’s FlowTodd discussed the concept of liberosis, which he described as allowing oneself to move freely from one thing to the next with less expectation and more freedom of expression. He explained that this way of being is connected to liberation and can help people enjoy life more by trusting that what comes next might be useful or helpful. Todd also noted that while goals are not inherently bad, they can become a source of heaviness if one believes that life’s enjoyment or success depends solely on achieving planned outcomes. Transforming Perception

Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! Empathy drives connection, but some claim it’s dangerous because it disrupts the status quo they want to maintain. We explore why empathy is being framed as a flaw, and how history, research, and pop culture remind us that caring about others isn’t weakness—it’s what keeps us human. Plus, a deep dive into the greatest villains and protagonists in film and what they teach us about staying grounded in what we know to be true. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary SummaryPodcast Shifts to Pop Culture FocusTodd and Cathy announced a shift in their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, to focus more on pop culture and its reflection of societal values, parenting, and self-awareness. They plan to explore how pop culture has shaped their beliefs and parenting styles, and how it can provide deeper insight into who they are and how they want to show up in the world. The new direction is set to start on June 1st, with the first two episodes already recorded. New Pope’s Chicago Connection DiscussedThe new Pope, Leo, hails from the south side of Chicago and is a White Sox fan, which has sparked excitement and a sense of connection among Chicagoans. Todd discusses how people are finding ways to relate to the Pope through personal anecdotes and shared experiences. The conversation touches on the Pope’s potential focus on ministry and caring for others, drawing comparisons to Pope Francis’s approach. Todd also mentions a women’s group meeting on Zoom with Kathy scheduled for the following day. Empathy’s Importance in Business and ParentingTodd discussed the importance of empathy and its demonization in various contexts, including religious doctrine and business. He emphasized the need for clarity on the concept of empathy and its benefits, using his college class as an example. Todd also introduced Team Zen, a platform for deep parenting discussions and workshops, and encouraged attendees to join. He concluded by highlighting the need for empathy in parenting and society, despite its potential misinterpretation. Todd’s Movie Quote Guessing GameTodd plays a movie quote guessing game, sharing various quotes and discussing the films they come from. He correctly identifies quotes from “Before Sunrise,” “Winnie the Pooh,” “The Fall of the Roman Empire,” and “Bee Movie.” Todd expresses his family’s fondness for “Bee Movie,” describing it as a “sick movie” they watched frequently when the children were ill. He concludes with a quote from “The Greatest,” featuring Muhammad Ali. Empathy: Balancing Compassion and Moral ClarityTodd discussed the concept of empathy, addressing concerns that it can be seen as negative. He clarified that empathy is not about feeling and taking on another person’s emotions, but rather understanding their feelings by relating to them through personal experiences. Todd emphasized the importance of maintaining stability and moral clarity while empathizing with others, and not being overwhelmed by their emotions. He also touched on the theological concerns surrounding empathy, stating that it should not compromise one’s moral judgment or lead to sinful behavior under the guise of compassion. Empathy and Interconnectedness in TheologyTodd discussed the importance of spiritual practices in fostering empathy and connection among individuals. He questioned the notion of empathy being labeled a sin, suggesting that it might be a means to protect a doctrine rather than people. Todd emphasized the interconnectedness of theology and the need for understanding and empathy in relationships. He also shared his personal interests in psychology, cultural studies, and theology, highlighting the importance of education in fostering empathy and understanding. Men as Heroes and VillainsTodd discussed the perception of men a

Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! They also discuss the normal shifts in kids’ friendships, highlighting the importance of loyalty, boundaries, and the reality that friendships evolve. As parents, we can feel more overwhelmed than our kids when these changes happen, but it’s important to normalize the ups and downs of friendships and offer support without letting our own fear or discomfort take over. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Renaming Podcast to Zen Pop Parenting In the meeting, Todd and Cathy discussed the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen Pop Parenting. The new format will focus on pop culture and its influence on parenting, with a more humorous and light-hearted approach. The podcast will continue to be available on the same platform, and existing subscribers will not need to take any action. The first episode under the new format is scheduled for June 3rd. Friendships and Self-Identification in Children Todd and Kathy discussed the normalcy of changing friendships among children. They highlighted that friendships are not meant to last forever and that it’s a natural part of growing up for children to explore different social circles. They also touched on the importance of self-identification and the need for children to experience different social situations to understand what they truly want. The conversation also emphasized the need for parents to be aware of their own biases and not assume that their children are always being excluded or left out. Fictional Friendships: Longevity and Speculation Todd discussed the longevity of fictional friendships in movies, questioning whether they would still be friends in a generation. He used examples from movies like Shawshank, Thelma and Louise, Forrest and Bubba, Harry Ron and Hermione, Buzz and Woody, Wayne and Garth, Bonnie and Clyde, and others. Todd also humorously speculated on the potential outcomes of these friendships if the characters had made different choices or lived in different times. Meaningful Conversations With Children Todd discussed the importance of having meaningful conversations with children, emphasizing the need to start with basic topics and gradually move to more intimate subjects. He used the example of discussing baseball to illustrate how non-intense topics can lead to deeper conversations. Todd also highlighted the significance of sharing personal experiences and being curious about others’ lives to foster connections and understanding. Fire Alarm Incident and Leadership Todd discussed an incident at his club where a fire alarm went off, and while the women were outside following the rules, the men continued weightlifting. Todd and his partner had a conversation about entitlement, gender, and leadership, connecting the dots between the incident and the political landscape. They also discussed the importance of adhering to protocols and considering the safety of others. Todd’s Reflections on Friendship and Loyalty Todd discussed the importance of loyalty and boundaries in friendships, using Aristotle’s quote “a friend to all is a friend to none” as an example. He shared his personal experience of being a people pleaser and losing his sense of self in the process. Todd also mentioned a song by Taylor Swift, “Cardigan,” which he believes is about loyalty and the challenges of maintaining friendships. He ended the discussion by reminiscing about his high school days and the mixtape his pledge mom made for him, which included the song “Hello, Goodbye” by Phil Collins. Friendships: Challenges and Prioritization In the meeting, Todd discussed the challenges of maintaining friendships, particularly those that require effort and choice. He shared his personal experiences with friendships that have shifted or ended, and emphasized the importance of choosing which friendships to prio

We dig into the gender differences in why we show up the way we do, how we’re conditioned, why women so often carry the weight of everyone’s well-being, and why emotional presence is still seen as optional for a lot of men. We talk about why these conversations are essential in our own homes, and what sometimes keeps us from having them. We also explore how all of this shows up not just in families and relationships, but in leadership, corporate culture, and the bigger cultural conversation around change and staying connected. Some Ways to Support Us Wildcard – Men, Marriage, and Menopause: Navigating the Change Together Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp 20:51 What Do You Think About When You Wake Up? 26:58 Difference b/w men and women 43:36 Poop talk * Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Parenting Strategies and Acts of ServiceTodd and Kathy discussed their parenting experiences and strategies. Todd shared a story about his daughter asking him to pick up Chipotle for her, which he gladly did as an act of service. Kathy pointed out that this aligns with Todd’s love language of acts of service. They also discussed the importance of connecting with their children, even if it means doing favors for them. Additionally, they touched on the topic of not allowing their children to use DoorDash, as it costs money and they prefer to do things for them. Reframing Parenting and Building RelationshipsTodd discussed the importance of reframing the narrative around children’s involvement in their lives. He shared a personal experience where he initially hesitated to help his daughter with a task, but ultimately decided to support her. The conversation then shifted to the need for parents to strike a balance between supporting their children and teaching them independence. The group also discussed the challenges of parenting teenagers and the need to adapt to their changing needs. Todd introduced a new subscription called “Pebbling” on his Substack platform, which aims to provide small gestures of connection and affection to build relationships. Cultural Conditioning and Gender RolesTodd discussed the cultural conditioning and expectations that influence their daily routines and interactions. He highlighted how these expectations are deeply ingrained in their upbringing and gender roles, affecting their behavior and decision-making. Todd emphasized the importance of understanding these factors to improve communication and balance in their relationships. He also touched on the potential for defensiveness in men when confronted with perceived inadequacies, suggesting that this is a result of cultural conditioning rather than personal failure. Questioning Patriarchy and Systemic ChangeTodd discussed the cultural belief that white men should not be questioned, using the Brett Kavanaugh hearings as an example. He emphasized the need to question the system rather than individual men, and how this can lead to a better understanding and conversation. Todd also highlighted the difference between freedom and permission, using the example of a banker who felt liberated after the recent president’s election. He stressed that patriarchy is a system, not a personal issue, and that men should not take it personally when it is discussed. Todd also pointed out the importance of recognizing the contributions of others, regardless of gender, in achieving success. Todd’s Gratitude and Financial DiscussionsTodd and his partner discussed the importance of gratitude and understanding in their relationship. They talked about how they used to focus on gratitude to strengthen their bond and how this foundation helped them navigate conversations about money and other issues. Todd also shared his experiences with a coach who suggested having regular meetings to discuss their finances, which helped alleviate his money-related worries. They also discussed the need to shift from a mindset of individual strength to a collective approach, emphasizing the importance of considering each other’s needs and working together. Shared Respo

We talk about our oddly soothing obsession with rug-cleaning and lawn care TikToks—and what they reveal about care, restoration, and using your energy to make things better. We also get into the difference between seeking positive vs. negative attention, and why people sometimes act out when what they really want is to be seen and to belong. From ASMR satisfaction to deeper reflections on generosity vs. harm, we discuss showing up with intention and leaving things better than we found them. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Efficiency and Leadership MetaphorsTodd discussed the satisfaction of watching a rug cleaner and lawn care professional efficiently and effectively complete their tasks. He used these examples as metaphors to emphasize the importance of leaving things better than they were found, and to critique leaders who cause chaos. Todd suggested that such behavior may stem from an inability to get needs met or be seen, drawing parallels to children seeking attention. Leadership, Fear, and Positive ImpactTodd discussed the importance of leadership and the impact of fear and anger on individuals. He used the movie Gladiator as an example, comparing the characters of Marcus Aurelius and his son, played by Joaquin Phoenix. Todd emphasized the need for real-life experiences and the consequences of using power and fear to control others. He also touched on the theme of doing good in the world and the positive effects it can have on both the individual and others. Understanding Human Behavior Through Pop CultureTodd discussed the importance of connection and respect, using the Grinch and Miranda Priestly as examples. He explained that the Grinch’s desire to steal Christmas stemmed from his unmet need for love and support, while Miranda Priestly’s cold demeanor was a result of her position. Todd emphasized the use of pop culture references to illustrate human behavior and emotions, and encouraged the use of these examples to better understand others. Female Leadership and Personal GrowthThe discussion covers various topics, including the portrayal of female leadership in media, personal growth through adversity, and the importance of intention in one’s actions. Todd and his co-host reflect on the character of Miranda Priestly from “The Devil Wears Prada” and Monica Lewinsky’s resilience in the face of public scrutiny. They emphasize the value of learning from mistakes and developing post-traumatic growth. The conversation concludes with mentions of Kathy’s upcoming substack subscription offering and a brief discussion about ASMR videos.

Cathy and Todd talk about the collective anxiety so many of us are carrying right now, whether it’s our daily responsibilities or the heaviness of what we’re witnessing on a national or global scale. They discuss Cathy’s three personal guideposts—integrity, humility, and compassion—how these words help her navigate parenting, conflict, relationships, and the uncertainty of this moment, along with the pop culture icons that represent each one. They also take time to talk about the male loneliness epidemic: why it matters, how it’s showing up in culture, and what it means for connection, emotional health, and community. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Addressing Men’s Loneliness and AdaptationCathy and Todd discuss the loneliness epidemic among men, arguing that the phrase “men are lonely” should be reframed as “men are choosing to be lonely” to emphasize personal responsibility. He and his co-host explore ways men can adapt to changing cultural norms, including educational adjustments, vocational training, and redefining masculinity. They also promote their upcoming events, including a discussion on menopause for couples, emphasizing the importance of understanding and supporting partners through life changes. Finding Personal Stability in Challenging TimesCathy and Todd discussed the importance of personal words or symbols that can provide stability during challenging times. He shared his three words that he has used for years and believes they hold up under any circumstance. Cathy and Todd also encouraged others to find their own words that resonate with them, using the example of a Spanish word “trabahaba” as a personal preference. The discussion aimed to help individuals develop tools or mechanisms to maintain themselves during non-stable times. Cathy and Todd’s Car Wash MetaphorCathy and Todd discussed his experience with the car wash, emphasizing the feeling of protection and relaxation it provides. He used the car wash as a metaphor to explain his three words: protect, chaos, and car. Cathy and Todd expressed his desire to stay focused and move forward despite the overwhelming negativity and chaos in the world. He encouraged others to find their own metaphorical “car” to help them navigate through life’s challenges. Integrity and Wholeness in Pop CultureCathy and Todd discussed the importance of integrity, using examples from pop culture such as Atticus Finch and Forrest Gump. He emphasized the need to be true to oneself and to act with purpose and behavior. Cathy and Todd also mentioned the concept of wholeness, acknowledging all aspects of oneself and taking care of oneself. He used the character of Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation as an example of someone who embodies integrity despite their flaws. Cathy and Todd’s second word was humility, which he has previously discussed on the show. Humility and Personal Opinions in MusicCathy and Todd discussed the importance of humility, emphasizing that it allows individuals to be curious, listen to others, and learn new things. He also highlighted the need for humility in understanding the role one plays in the world and the importance of living in uncertainty. Cathy and Todd further discussed the influence of personal opinions on music and food, emphasizing that everyone has their own preferences. He concluded by expressing his love for pop music and its ability to evoke positive emotions and memories. Cathy and Todd’s Pop Culture and Life GuideCathy and Todd discussed his perspective on pop culture, specifically referencing a YouTube clip where Tarantino talked about his favorite movies. He also shared his thoughts on the TV show Yellow Jackets, expressing his disappointment with the third season but appreciating the finale. Cathy and Todd emphasized the importance of having an educated opinion, like a rock critic, and understanding the tone of a show. He also shared his guideposts for navigating life’s chaos: integrity, humi

Cathy and Todd talk about the double standard of managing other people’s emotions—how it’s both expected and criticized—and why this kind of emotional regulation is often misunderstood and overlooked. They also discuss menopause and why emotions can shift or intensify, and how learning what’s really going on can help the whole family better understand and respond, rather than dismissing what can be a really difficult time. Plus, they talk about The White Lotus, Yellowjackets, and talk about their upcoming conversation on navigating friendships—with our kids and within ourselves—on Wednesday, April 9th at Deerfield High School. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp 14:25 The problem with “let them” Links shared in this episode: The Unseen Work of Regulating Others An Oprah Winfrey Special: The Menopause Revolution For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Regulating Conversations in Social Situations Cathy discusses the unseen work of regulating others in social situations, particularly within families. She explains how she often manages conversations to keep them harmonious, ensuring everyone feels included and tempering moods when necessary. This can involve subtle interventions like making eye contact, giving others a chance to speak, or even physically stopping someone from interrupting. While this work can be beneficial, Kathy acknowledges it can also be controlling and exhausting, leading to burnout. She notes that this behavior is both expected and criticized, creating a challenging dynamic for those who tend to regulate others. Todd’s Perimenopause Experiences and Emotional Changes Todd discussed his experiences with perimenopause, explaining that hormonal changes can lead to increased anger and emotional vulnerability. He shared that these feelings are temporary and can be managed with the right support. Todd also mentioned the importance of understanding and accepting these changes, rather than attributing them to societal stereotypes. Supporting Partners Through Menopause Todd discussed the challenges of supporting his wife during her menopause, emphasizing the need for understanding and empathy. He mentioned Oprah’s recent special on menopause and the importance of learning about the hormonal changes women experience. Todd also expressed frustration with the medical system, feeling he has to advocate for himself and do extensive research to get the right care. He highlighted the need for men to better understand and support their partners during this time. Addressing Personal and Societal Issues Todd discussed the challenges of dealing with personal and societal issues while maintaining a positive demeanor. He emphasized the importance of acknowledging and addressing these issues, even if they are uncomfortable or difficult to discuss. Todd also mentioned the need for emotional release and the impact of external factors on personal well-being. The team discussed the importance of open communication and the need to address topics that are often overlooked. Todd concluded by promoting the Team Zen parenting virtual community and the services of Jeremy Kraft.

Todd and Cathy discuss a recent episode of survivor, Cathy’s frustration at Todd’s double parking, as well as humility, masculinity, responsibility, and emotional support in relationships. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Growing Our Girls discussion about Restoring Our Girls Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Links shared in this episode: Survivor 48 – Jeff Probst Gets Emotional as Eva Opens Up For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Zen Parenting Radio: Humility & Survivor Todd and Cathy introduce episode 809 of Zen Parenting Radio, discussing potential topics including humility, masculinity, and responsibility. They promote Cathy’s new book “Restoring Our Girls” and mention upcoming virtual book club talks and in-person events. Todd also highlights their Zen Talk community and various micro-communities within Team Zen for parents seeking support. They then discuss a recent episode of Survivor, where a contestant named Eva had an intense emotional reaction during a competition, leading to Jeff Probst crying for the first time in 48 seasons. Joe’s Empathetic Actions in Survivor Todd discussed an emotional episode from the TV show Survivor where a contestant named Eva, who has autism, experienced a meltdown. Her teammate Joe, who was not on her team, helped calm her down by providing physical comfort and reassurance. Todd highlighted Joe’s actions as an example of masculinity, emphasizing that Joe’s caring and calm demeanor were more important than the game’s rules. Todd also suggested sharing this clip with children as a creative way to teach them about empathy and understanding. Todd’s Emotional Support and Survivor Todd expressed gratitude for the support he received from the team, emphasizing the importance of asking for and receiving help. He shared a personal experience of dealing with autism and the need for vulnerability. Todd also discussed the emotional impact of losing a pet and the importance of allowing oneself to feel and process emotions. He praised Jeff Probst’s ability to connect with the audience and share his own experiences as a parent. Todd concluded by highlighting the various aspects of the show Survivor, emphasizing its themes of teamwork, empathy, and human connection. Demonstrating Family Values Through Pop Culture Todd discussed the importance of demonstrating family values to children through pop culture examples and real-life experiences. He emphasized the need for parents to model humility and take responsibility for their actions, rather than blaming others. Todd also highlighted the need for children to understand that they have choices in life and should not blame others for their difficulties. The discussion also touched on the concept of humility and its importance in personal and professional life. Vulnerability and Humility in Relationships Todd discussed the importance of vulnerability and humility in personal and professional relationships. He emphasized that vulnerability is a sign of strength, as it allows for learning, taking responsibility, and seeking help. He also highlighted the negative impact of overpowering and win-at-all-costs mentality, which can lead to exhaustion and damaged connections. Todd encouraged the group to reflect on their own eulogies and consider qualities they want to be remembered for, rather than focusing solely on power and conquest. He defined humility as having a modest view of one’s own importance, recognizing the importance of learning from others, and acknowledging strengths and weaknesses without arrogance or insecurity. Todd’s Double Parking Frustration Todd expressed frustration about double parking outside Chipotle, which he felt was uncool and caused inconvenience to others. He also mentioned an incident where he was in a hurry to get food and blamed Chipotle for having a new dish that made him hungry. Kathy defended Todd’s actions, suggesting that he was just trying to get food quickly and that double parking was not a big deal. However, Todd insisted that double parking was not acceptable and that it was important to be

Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of raising kids who enjoy learning, emphasizing the need for a play-based learning environment and the importance of not overburdening children with academic tasks too early. They also highlighted the challenges faced by educators, including pressure from parents and curriculum requirements, and advocated for more creative and diverse teaching methods. The conversation also focused on parenting strategies, the role of teachers, and the need for parents to manage their children’s schoolwork, with a particular emphasis on understanding and supporting children’s identities and interests. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Growing Our Girls discussion about Restoring Our Girls Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamps 4:08 Atlantic Article16:08 Education System34:53 Breakfast Club 43:21 Be on your kids team ** Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Meeting summary with AI Companion now supports additional languages in preview. Learn More Raising Kids Who Enjoy LearningIn this episode of Zen Parenting Radio, Todd and Cathy discuss the importance of raising kids who enjoy learning. They explore the education system, focusing on the role of teachers and the impact of the system on children’s learning experiences. They also discuss parenting strategies and the need for parents to manage their children’s schoolwork. The conversation is based on an article from The Atlantic, which highlights the disengagement crisis among teenagers. The hosts emphasize the need for a play-based learning environment and the importance of not overburdening children with academic tasks too early. They also mention a book by Cathy Cassani Adams, “Restoring Our Girls,” which they encourage listeners to read. Education and Parenting ApproachesThe discussion focuses on education and parenting approaches. Todd and his partner emphasize the importance of allowing children to learn independently and fail, rather than constantly nagging or pressuring them. They argue that the purpose of education should be to develop critical thinking skills and a love for learning, not just to achieve high grades or get into prestigious schools. They criticize parents who intervene too much in their children’s education, suggesting that this can lead to disengagement and poor academic performance. The speakers also highlight the challenges faced by educators, including pressure from parents and curriculum requirements, and advocate for more creative and diverse teaching methods. Supporting Children’s Identities and InterestsTodd discussed the importance of understanding and supporting children’s identities and interests, rather than pushing them towards predetermined paths. He emphasized the need for parents to be on their children’s teams, providing guidance and support rather than pressure. Todd also highlighted the importance of intrinsic motivation and allowing children to explore their passions, rather than solely focusing on academic success. He shared examples of how different children have found their own paths and encouraged parents to redefine what success means for their children.

Todd and Cathy discussed their personal experiences and a Netflix miniseries called “Adolescence,”, focusing on issues such as gender dynamics, male rage, and online influences on young men. They explored the manosphere, its impact on society, and the importance of addressing digital sexism and male supremacy, while also examining family dynamics and communication styles between genders. They emphasized the need for understanding and addressing the experiences of boys and young men, encouraging open conversations about online content and emotions, and promoting positive relationships between genders. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Growing Our Girls discussion about Restoring Our Girls Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamps 8:21 Adolescence 13:00 Manosphere explained * 26:04 Generational comparison * 32:40 Men vs Women Comparison * 55:12 Boy Values ** Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Meeting summary with AI Companion now supports additional languages in preview. Learn More Quick recap Next steps Parents to have conversations with their sons about emotions and healthy ways to express feelings. Parents to discuss with their children what they are seeing online, especially related to the manosphere and bro culture. Parents to listen to and discuss media their children consume (e.g. Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson) to identify problematic content. Parents to affirm their sons’ value and worth beyond grades, sports, or achievements. Listeners to watch the Netflix series “Adolescence” and share their thoughts with Todd or Kathy via email. Interested listeners to sign up for upcoming Zen Parenting events (Zen Talk, Team Zen community for differently wired children, Women’s Circle). Interested fathers to join the Men Living weekly Full House meeting on fatherhood. Interested men to sign up for the Men Living weekend in Virginia in September. Summary Discussing Netflix Miniseries on AdolescenceThe podcast hosts Todd and Kathy discuss their recent experience of putting down their pet rabbit after 11 years, expressing the emotional difficulty of making that decision. They then introduce a Netflix miniseries about adolescence, focusing on an episode featuring a 13-year-old boy who stabs and kills a 13-year-old girl. The series explores issues such as gender dynamics, male rage, and online influences on young men. Todd and Kathy plan to discuss the episode and encourage listeners to watch the series, which they believe raises awareness about important societal issues. Manosphere: Digital Sexism and Male SupremacyTodd discussed the manosphere, a network of online communities focused on men’s issues, including masculinity, gender dynamics, and men’s rights. He highlighted key subgroups within the manosphere, such as men’s rights activists, MGTOW (men going their own way), pickup artists, and red pill communities. Todd emphasized the importance of addressing the manosphere, as it represents an extreme form of digital sexism and male supremacy. He encouraged parents to engage in discussions with their children about these issues, as there is an ongoing emergency that needs to be addressed. Family Dynamics and Emotional RepressionThe episode explores the complex dynamics of a family dealing with a troubled 13-year-old boy named Jamie, who has committed a serious crime. The therapist, a woman in her late thirties or early forties, faces challenges from both Jamie and the male guard as she attempts to assess the boy. The father’s approach to parenting, influenced by his own upbringing, emphasizes improvement over his father’s generation but still struggles with emotional expression. The mother is portrayed as bearing the emotional labor for the entire family, helping her husband, son, and daughter process their feelings while receiving little support herself. The discussion highlights the pervasive influence of the manosphere on young men and the cycle of emotional repression in families. Gender Differences in Communication StylesTodd and his wife discuss their different listening styles when th

Todd and Cathy shared strategies for staying informed without burning out from the world, and the need for personal well-being for continued engagement and making a difference. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile Bullet points- Set Boundaries Allocate specific times for news consumption (e.g., 15 minutes in the morning or after work). Avoid checking the news right before bed to protect your mental space. Diversify Media Types Switch between reading, podcasts, and videos to prevent fatigue. Choose formats that feel manageable rather than overwhelming. “Good Enough” Knowledge You don’t need to know every detail about every issue. Aim for a solid understanding rather than full mastery. Balance Heavy News with Positive Stories Seek out hopeful, solution-focused reporting to counterbalance negative headlines. Actionable Steps When news feels overwhelming, channel that energy into something productive—donating, volunteering, or having meaningful conversations. Self-Care Recognize when you need to step away and give yourself permission to unplug without guilt. Be Mindful of Social Media Social media algorithms often amplify anxiety-inducing content. Consider limiting exposure or curating your feed to minimize stress. Discernment Ask yourself: Do I need to know this? How does this information serve me? This can help you focus on what truly matters. AI Summary Summary Parents’ Favoritism and Golden ChildTodd discussed a study by the American Psychological Association (APA) that analyzed data from over 19,000 participants, revealing that parents tend to favor their daughters, eldest children, and more conscientious kids. Todd and the other participants debated the reasons behind this preference, with some suggesting it might be due to the child being easier to parent or more emotionally connected. They also discussed the concept of a “golden child” and how it might be perceived as a way for parents to feel good about themselves rather than a reflection of the child’s actual qualities. Todd Discusses Jill Scott and PhilanthropyTodd discusses a song called “Golden” by Jill Scott, an R&B singer and actress known for her roles in Tyler Perry’s movies. He then shares positive news from the Good Good Good Newsletter, highlighting Travis Kelce’s donation of a mansion for homeless youth housing and Virginia lawmakers’ unanimous passage of a bill to educate the public about menstrual disorders. Todd expresses his preference for tangible philanthropic efforts and wonders about the implementation of the Virginia education initiative. Menopause Education and Self-AdvocacyTodd discussed the lack of education on menopause for medical professionals, highlighting the need for women to advocate for themselves and seek information on the topic. He shared his personal experiences and the challenges of finding reliable information, emphasizing the importance of self-education and seeking specialists when necessary. Todd’s Reflection on Mary Oliver’s PoemTodd discussed a Mary Oliver poem that resonated with him, focusing on the themes of worry, self-improvement, and health. He emphasized the importance of recognizing when worry is not productive and instead choosing to “go out and sing,” suggesting that this mindset shift can be practiced over time. Todd clarified that the poem does not advocate for complete elimination of worry, but rather encourages individuals to recognize when they are stuck in a cycle of worry and to break free from it. Todd Discusses Trust and CommunicationTodd discussed the importance of trust and open communication in relationships, particularly in the context of parenting. He emphasized that snooping or hiding information is not a healthy approach and can damage relationships. Todd also shared his perspective on the balance between staying informed and avoiding excessive worry or fear. He used examples from popular culture to illustrate his points. The conversation ended with a discussion on the potential benefits of open communication and the importance

We discuss Women’s History Month, emphasizing the importance of understanding women’s experiences and challenges in society. They explore various aspects of women’s safety, cultural norms, and the need for men to engage with and support women’s issues. We also highlight the significance of nurturing relationships, adaptability, and women’s role in holding memories and creating change, while encouraging men to be curious and empathetic towards women’s experiences. Links shared in this episode Meryl Streep Speaking Men Women Holding Things For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Women’s History Month: Engaging MenTodd and Cathy introduce episode 805 of Zen Parenting Radio, focusing on Women’s History Month in March. They discuss the importance of men engaging with women’s issues, referencing Meryl Streep’s comments on how women have adapted to a male-dominated culture. Todd and Gabby emphasize that understanding women’s experiences is crucial for everyone, not just women. They also mention the origins of Women’s History Month, which began as a week-long observance initiated by President Jimmy Carter in 1980 before expanding to a full month in 1987. Women’s Safety and Hypervigilance ChallengesTodd discussed the challenges faced by women in navigating public spaces and the responsibility that falls on them to stay safe. He highlighted the mental load of hypervigilance that women often have to bear and the expectation that they adapt to the unsafety of their lives. Todd also shared stories of women who have been abused, stalked, or terrorized, emphasizing the need for understanding and empathy. He suggested that the podcast could serve as a platform for men to understand the experiences of women and to speak up or take action when necessary. Todd also discussed specific cases, such as a professional tennis player who was stalked at a tournament, and the need for women to identify potential threats and take action to ensure their safety. Empowering Women Through Cultural AwarenessTodd discussed the importance of understanding and addressing the cultural norms that contribute to a lack of safety for women. He emphasized the need for men to listen to women’s experiences and share them with others, particularly with their sons, to help shift the conversation towards prioritizing women’s safety. Todd also highlighted the interconnectedness of the pyramid of rape culture, starting with seemingly benign comments and jokes, which can lead to more severe acts of violence. He suggested that reading his book, “Restoring Our Girls,” could help men better understand women’s experiences and perspectives. Todd also recommended watching certain movies, such as “The Hunting Ground” and a documentary about rape kits, to gain insight into the issues faced by women. Political Disruptions at Town Hall MeetingTodd expressed concern about political disruptions and censorship at a recent Idaho Republican Town Hall meeting, where a woman was dragged out for asking questions. He also shared a video clip from Myra Kalman’s book, “Women Holding Things,” emphasizing the need to focus on positive aspects while acknowledging the real-world impact of these issues. Holding Relationships for Personal GrowthTodd discussed the importance of holding and nurturing relationships, emphasizing that these connections are essential for personal growth and happiness. He contrasted this with the pursuit of power, money, and fame, which he believes can never fully satisfy an individual. Todd also highlighted the significance of humor and adaptability in navigating the challenges of life, particularly for women who have historically been expected to adapt to changing circumstances. He praised the work of Myra’s book and the concept of “holding” as a metaphor for the various responsibilities and relationships that women often undertake. Empowering Women’s Roles in FamiliesTodd discussed how women play a significant role in holding memories, rituals, and prov

Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of critical thinking, the avoidance of thought terminating cliches, and the need for clear roles and expectations within their team. They also expressed concerns about the current state of the administration and its impact on society, and highlighted the importance of adapting to changing cultural norms and supporting children’s spiritedness. Lastly, they emphasized the need for open and honest conversations, and encouraged others to join Team Zen and support children’s feelings of unfairness. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Time Stamps 13:47 Thought terminating cliches 15:42 Todd gets himself into trouble * 51:04 Fathering rebellious daughters * 53:47 Three parenting thought terminating cliches * This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Critical Thinking and Thought TerminationTodd and Kathy discussed the importance of critical thinking and the avoidance of thought terminating cliches in discussions. They highlighted how these cliches can be used to manipulate and control conversations, often leading to unhealthy debates. Todd also introduced a new partner, David Serrano, who is a personal financial advisor. The conversation then shifted to a video clip featuring Ricky Pearsall, a 49er who was shot in the chest, discussing forgiveness. Todd contrasted Ricky’s approach to forgiveness with the idea of keeping discussions open, emphasizing the importance of kindness and compassion in these discussions. Avoiding Thought Terminating ClichésTodd discussed the concept of thought terminating cliches and their impact on critical thinking and communication. He shared his experience with a recent incident where he used a thought terminating cliche, which led to a misunderstanding. Todd emphasized the importance of recognizing and avoiding such cliches in conversations to encourage critical thinking and open communication. He also suggested alternative ways to respond to thought terminating cliches, such as asking for more information or expressing willingness to learn. The discussion highlighted the need for effective communication and understanding in personal and professional relationships. Adapting to Changing Cultural NormsTodd and his team discussed the importance of adapting to changing cultural norms, particularly for men who are struggling to evolve and learn new ways of compassion and understanding. They also explored the use of thought-terminating cliches, which can hinder meaningful discussions and limit personal growth. Todd highlighted the need for individuals to question and challenge these cliches, especially when they are used to silence or dismiss others, particularly women. The team also discussed the importance of supporting children’s spiritedness and questioning, rather than enforcing compliance, and the need for parents to engage in open and honest conversations with their children. Navigating Life’s Unfairness With ChildrenTodd discussed the impact of a quote from his mother, born in 1925, who said “nobody ever said life was going to be fair.” He reflected on how this quote has influenced his parenting, particularly in relation to his daughter Skylar, a junior who qualified for the state finals in speech. Todd emphasized the importance of acknowledging and supporting children’s feelings of unfairness, rather than dismissing them with the idea that life is always fair. He also encouraged others to join Team Zen and highlighted Jeremy Kraft’s services as a painter and remodeler throughout the Chicagoland area.

Todd and Cathy talk with Cara Natterson MD and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, authors of This Is So Awkward, Modern Puberty Explained. We share experiences and motivations for focusing on puberty and sex education. They also discussed the differences between traditional and progressive education systems, the influence of pornography on societal attitudes towards body hair, and the challenges parents face in navigating conversations about puberty and sexuality with their children. The group agreed on the importance of open communication, maintaining physical affection, and promoting bodily autonomy and agency in these conversations. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Authors of “This Is So Awkward In the meeting, Todd and Kathy welcomed Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, the authors of “This is So Awkward,” a podcast focusing on helping parents navigate puberty and adolescence. Cara is a pediatrician and best-selling author, while Vanessa is an educator and founder of Dynamo Girl, a program supporting girls’ confidence through sports and puberty education. The discussion was informal and conversational, with the hosts and guests sharing personal details about their lives and families. Balancing Traditional and Progressive Education Cara and Todd discuss the differences between traditional and progressive education systems, particularly focusing on exams and emotional intelligence. Cara shares her children’s experience transitioning from a progressive high school without exams to college, noting their initial struggle but eventual adaptation. Less describes her children’s school’s approach to exams, which balances academic assessment with emotional well-being. The group agrees that schools can incorporate both traditional and progressive elements, but it requires a willingness to change established practices and consider new approaches to scheduling and student well-being. Harlan Cohen’s Advice and LA Fires In the meeting, Less and Todd discussed their acquaintance, Harlan Cohen, who provides advice on managing college life. Todd shared his experience of sending Harlan’s content to his daughter. The conversation then shifted to Cara, who shared her personal experience of living close to the mandatory evacuation zone during the fires in LA. She expressed the city’s struggle with leadership and the emotional response to the fires. Todd acknowledged the destruction and thanked Cara for her insights, mentioning that people around the country were thinking about her and donating to recommended charities. Puberty Education and Parental Roles Todd, Vanessa, and Cara discussed their experiences and motivations for focusing on puberty and sex education. Vanessa shared how her coaching experience led her to found a company focused on girls’ emotional development, and she discovered the need for puberty education after coaching elementary school girls. Cara, a pediatrician, started writing parenting books and was introduced to the topic of puberty through her work with American Girl. Both agreed that puberty education is crucial due to the earlier onset of puberty in girls. The conversation then shifted to the roles of mothers and fathers in discussing puberty and sex with their children. Cara emphasized the need for both parents to be involved in these conversations, as the traditional approach of separating boys and girls for such discussions is outdated and limiting. Maintaining Physical Affection in Children In the meeting, the participants discussed the importance of maintaining physical affection and connection with children as they grow older. They highlighted the need for parents, particularly fathers, to continue showing love and affection even as their children develop and may not want to be hugged or cuddled as much. The group also discussed the challenges of navigating changing bodies and the importance of open communication about these changes. They emphasized the need for parents to be aware of their children’s needs and to adapt their approach to maintain a strong connection. The conversation also touched on the cultural shift towards more open

Todd and Cathy reminisced about the evolution of telephones and shared their experiences with prank calls and shared phone lines. They also discussed the importance of open-mindedness, empathy, and understanding in human interactions, emphasizing the need to trust oneself and not rely solely on personal experiences or opinions. The conversation concluded with a reflection on the passage of time and the changing dynamics of family relationships. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Quick recap Evolution of Telephones and CommunicationIn the meeting, Todd and Cathy reminisced about their past experiences with telephones, discussing the evolution from rotary dials to cell phones. They talked about the busy signal, call waiting, and the introduction of Caller Id. They also discussed the shift from answering machines to voicemails, and the transition from writing down phone numbers to storing them in phones. They shared their experiences with prank calls, shared phone lines, and the use of 1-900 numbers. The conversation ended with a nostalgic look back at the days of holding phones in the bathroom or on stairs to maintain privacy. Jalen Hurts and Kendrick LamarTodd discusses two topics from the Super Bowl: Jalen Hurts’ management team and Kendrick Lamar’s halftime performance. He praises Hurts for his succinct explanation of why he works with many women, stating it gives him “an eye that I didn’t have.” Regarding the halftime show, Todd describes Kendrick Lamar’s performance as filled with messages and Easter eggs, encouraging viewers to research the meaning behind the songs and imagery. He acknowledges that while not everyone may enjoy or understand Lamar’s music, there is value in being curious and open-minded about it. Overcoming Personal Experience BiasTodd discussed the importance of open-mindedness and the dangers of personal experience bias or anecdotal absolutism. He emphasized that everyone sees the world through their own lens, but it’s crucial to be open to learning from others’ experiences. Todd also differentiated between being curious and being willing to learn, noting that curiosity alone doesn’t necessarily lead to growth. He used the example of parenting to illustrate how being open-minded can broaden one’s perspective on the world. The discussion concluded with a reflection on the challenges of maintaining open-mindedness, particularly when faced with differing opinions. Navigating Trauma and School RefusalTodd shared a personal experience about navigating his daughter’s school refusal, contrasting it with a friend’s approach of forcing the child to attend school. Todd expressed his belief that his method, which involved allowing his daughter to calm down and then return to school, was more effective in maintaining a connection and avoiding potential trauma. He emphasized the importance of understanding that trauma can manifest differently in individuals and the need for open-mindedness in decision-making. Todd also discussed his past work as a therapist at a children’s hospital, where he observed the limitations of behavior modification programs and the importance of considering various aspects of human behavior in therapy. Maintaining an Open and Curious MindsetTodd discussed the importance of maintaining an open and curious mindset, contrasting it with a narrow mindset. He suggested that one can identify their mindset by observing their breathing patterns and body signals. Todd also highlighted the significance of active listening and the challenges it presents in podcasting. He further elaborated on various behaviors that indicate a narrow mindset, such as defensive postures, blaming others, clinging to opinions, suppressing emotions, using distractions, and avoiding disconfirming data. Todd emphasized the need for continuous improvement in these areas to foster a more open and receptive mindset. Empathy and Understanding in InteractionsTodd discussed the importance of empathy and understanding in human interactions. He highlighted the tendency for people to dehumanize others and shut off their concern for others&#821

Todd and Cathy discussed the concept of “flooding the zone” in family dynamics and personal peace of mind, emphasizing the importance of critical thinking, discernment, and effective communication. They explored various strategies to manage the effects of flooding the zone, including being clear about core values, prioritizing and filtering information, and engaging with discernment. The discussion also touched on the importance of emotional regulation, resilience, and setting boundaries in parenting, as well as the role of physical touch and respect for children’s boundaries. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Meeting summary for ZPR Podcast Recording (02/03/2025) Quick recap Todd and Cathy discussed the concept of “flooding the zone” in family dynamics and personal peace of mind, emphasizing the importance of critical thinking, discernment, and effective communication. They explored various strategies to manage the effects of flooding the zone, including being clear about core values, prioritizing and filtering information, and engaging with discernment. The discussion also touched on the importance of emotional regulation, resilience, and setting boundaries in parenting, as well as the role of physical touch and respect for children’s boundaries. Summary Managing “Flooding the Zone” in FamiliesIn this episode of Zen Parenting Radio, Todd and Kathy discuss the concept of “flooding the zone,” a political tactic used to distract, confuse, or control the narrative. They explore how this tactic can be applied to family dynamics and personal peace of mind. Todd outlines six strategies to manage the effects of flooding the zone: being clear about core values, prioritizing and filtering information, pausing and reflecting, engaging with discernment, and educating and empowering oneself. The aim is to reduce the fear response and increase critical thinking skills to navigate overwhelming information and situations. Encouraging Critical Thinking in ChildrenTodd discussed the importance of critical thinking and discernment in decision-making, using the example of a Gen X parent’s concern about her daughter’s outfit. He emphasized that providing answers and solutions to children stifles their critical thinking abilities and suggested that parents should encourage their children to think through their choices and decisions. Todd also mentioned the potential for this behavior to manifest in families, often unconsciously, and suggested that it could be a political strategy. He concluded by referencing movie scenes where parents struggle with effective communication and decision-making with their children. Flooding the Zone” in Family DynamicsTodd led a discussion about the concept of “flooding the zone” in family dynamics, using scenes from various movies as examples. He explained that this term refers to when one family member dominates a conversation or situation, often with negative or critical comments. Todd used examples from “Lady Bird,” “The Breakfast Club,” and “Dead Poets Society” to illustrate how this behavior can manifest in different relationships. He emphasized that while these behaviors may come from a place of worry or concern, they can still be damaging and hinder effective communication within a family. Effective Communication With ChildrenTodd discussed the importance of effective communication with children, particularly in dealing with overwhelming situations. He emphasized the need to avoid criticizing or overwhelming children with multiple issues at once, instead focusing on one issue at a time. Todd also highlighted the importance of emotional regulation and validation, suggesting that parents should empathize with their children’s feelings and help them focus on one issue at a time. He further suggested that parents should offer comfort and support, rather than trying to solve all the child’s problems at once. Todd also touched on the concept of “parent flooding,” where parents, due to anxiety, tend to over-explain and talk too much, which can be overwhelm

Todd and Cathy discussed highlights from their recent Zen Parenting Conference, including various topics such as generational slang, societal challenges for boys and girls, and the importance of open communication with children. They reflected on the conference’s success, emphasizing the interactive nature of the event, the impact of guest speakers, and the significance of human connections. Todd also shared personal experiences and insights from the conference, expressing gratitude towards family, friends, and supporters while acknowledging the need for continued growth and adaptation in their initiatives. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Exploring Generational Slang EvolutionTodd and Kathy discussed their top 10 best moments from their recent Zen Parenting Conference, also known as Zen Con 25. They shared various slang terms used by different generations, including “no cap,” “busen,” “slay,” “glaze,” “8,” “locked in,” “aura,” “bet,” “cooked,” “mogging,” “sigma,” “gang,” “take the L,” “unk,” “facts,” and “finna.” Todd also shared his experience with his daughters, Skylar and Jc, and how they use these terms differently. The discussion aimed to help listeners understand the current slang used by different generations and how it has evolved over time. Zen Parenting Conference Success and FutureTodd discussed the success of the Zen Parenting Conference, highlighting the interactive nature of the event, including the use of cards on the tables for speakers and a “Good Intentions” wall. He expressed his gratitude towards the conference’s sponsors and attendees, emphasizing the positive impact they have on the world. Todd also mentioned the team Zen get-together, which has become a yearly tradition for many attendees, fostering strong friendships and connections. He suggested the possibility of organizing a smaller, more intimate event in the future, possibly at a retreat center. Todd’s Conference Experience and DiscussionTodd shared his experiences from a recent conference, highlighting the social aspects and the importance of human connections. He also mentioned a special moment dedicated to Millie, who was unable to attend due to health issues. Todd then discussed the format of the conference, emphasizing the need for more interaction and space for questions. He shared his experience of a session with Dr. John Duffy, where they discussed their respective books and the questions they received from the audience. Todd expressed satisfaction with the session, noting that it went beyond the initial topic and allowed for a more engaging and interactive discussion. Adaptation and Leadership in Changing WorldTodd and John discussed the challenges faced by girls and boys in adapting to a changing world. They emphasized the importance of adaptability, particularly for girls who have had to continuously adapt to a world predominantly run by men. They also discussed the need for boys to adapt to a culture that requires more compassion and understanding. Todd suggested that boys could adapt to new roles in industries such as teaching and social work, which are currently underrepresented. The conversation also touched on the role of parenting and leadership in shaping the next generation’s perspectives and behaviors. Todd and John encouraged parents to engage in conversations with their children about the messages they receive from various sources, rather than shutting them down. Navigating Beauty Standards and Media InfluenceTodd discussed the complexities of societal beauty standards and the influence of media on individuals, particularly young girls. He highlighted the confusion and pressure girls face due to the portrayal of beauty in media, such as makeup and clothing. Todd also touched on the importance of understanding the history of oppression faced by women and girls, and the need to adapt and overcome these challenges. He suggested that parents should engage in open and honest conversations with

Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of optimism, perseverance, and emotional intelligence in personal and professional development, using examples from their experiences and current events. They also highlighted the impact of independent filmmakers and digital platforms on the entertainment industry, and expressed optimism about the growing understanding and research on menopause and women’s health. Lastly, they emphasized the need for expanding one’s awareness and perspective, and the importance of self-compassion and nurturing relationships in personal growth. Time Stamps 10:39 The Long Game/Shannon Watts 21:12 Returning TV Shows 30:41 Menopause/ Womens Research 34:06 Emotional Intelligence on the rise 37:50 Adaptability 47:32 Todd’s reflections on MenLiving weekend For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Summary AI Summary Zen Con 25 and Personal ExperiencesTodd and Kathy discussed the upcoming Zen Con 25 conference, emphasizing its importance for those feeling heavy or needing a shift in perspective. They also touched on their personal experiences with Zoom and Google, expressing frustration over the lack of control over their accounts. Todd mentioned a past men’s retreat and hinted at a reflection from it. They also discussed the possibility of Glenn Phillips playing certain songs at the conference. Lastly, they encouraged anyone interested in attending the conference to reach out, assuring that financial issues would not be a barrier. Embracing Optimism and Perseverance in ChallengesTodd discussed the importance of optimism and perseverance in the face of challenges. He emphasized the need to celebrate small wins and not give up when faced with setbacks, drawing parallels from his experiences as a parent and his interest in mindfulness and self-awareness. Todd also highlighted the importance of focusing on the long game, using examples from history and current events to illustrate how progress is often slow but ultimately leads to positive change. He concluded by encouraging the audience to maintain optimism and to recognize the small victories that contribute to larger goals. Independent Filmmakers and TV ShowsTodd discussed the impact of independent filmmakers and digital platforms on the entertainment industry. He highlighted how these platforms have made it easier for independent filmmakers to reach their audiences and share unique experiences. Todd also shared his excitement about upcoming TV shows, including “Severance,” “White Lotus,” “Yellow Jackets,” and “Stranger Things.” He emphasized the importance of these shows in exploring themes of connection and disconnection among people. Todd also mentioned that he and his family enjoy watching these shows together, as a way to connect and discuss their experiences. Optimism in Women’s Health ResearchTodd expressed optimism about the growing understanding and research on menopause and women’s health. He highlighted the historical lack of research on women’s health, with many pharmaceuticals and healthcare inventions being developed with only men in mind. Todd gave an example of Ambien, a sleep medication, which was initially tested on men and later found to require a different dosage for women due to their slower metabolism. He noted that this oversight led to car accidents and other issues for women. Todd’s optimism stems from the increased focus on women’s health and the recognition of the need for more research and understanding. Emotional Intelligence and Human ConnectionTodd and his co-host discussed the importance of emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and self-awareness in parenting and personal development. They highlighted the need for human connection and the potential for AI to enhance human interaction, but also emphasized the importance of human touch and compassion. The conversation also touched on the need for adaptability and resilience, particularly in leadership, and the necessity of being creative in the face of challenges. They also mentioned their upcoming conference and a book they co-authored, “Restoring Our Girls.” Expandi

Todd and Cathy discuss Mel Robbins book “Let Them”, the importance of nuance in self-help concepts. They also touched on the importance of trust and communication in relationships, and the concept of “letting go” in personal relationships. Lastly, they shared their thoughts on various TV shows and movies, and emphasized the importance of self-awareness and emotional expression in relationships. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Summary Zen Parenting Conference and Self-Help Todd and Kathy discussed the upcoming Zen Parenting Conference, which has been taking up most of Todd’s time. They also touched on the topic of self-help, noting its resurgence and the repackaging of existing ideas. Todd expressed his appreciation for self-help but emphasized the importance of nuance, using Mel Robbins’ book “Let Them” as an example. He mentioned that he plans to write a substack about the topic and acknowledged that the concept of “let them” has been around for a long time, even though it’s now being called a “theory.” Zencon 25 Event and Parenting Tips Todd discussed the upcoming Zencon 25 event, which starts a week from Friday, January 24th. He mentioned that Glenn Phillips, the lead singer of Toad the Wet Sprocket, will be performing an acoustic set and sharing stories. Todd and Kathy will also be on stage for a couple of hours before the musical act. Todd encouraged everyone to attend the event, even offering to help with ticket costs for those who are interested but facing financial issues. He also discussed a section from a book called “Restoring Our Girls,” which highlights phrases to avoid when dealing with daughters. Todd emphasized the importance of being mindful of the language used when interacting with children. Building Trust in Sensitive Conversations Todd discussed the importance of trust and communication in relationships, particularly when dealing with sensitive topics such as sexual assault. He emphasized the need to question negative myths and stereotypes about girls, and to create a non-judgmental environment where they feel comfortable sharing their experiences. Todd also highlighted the importance of not shutting down conversations with phrases like “I don’t believe you,” and instead encouraging open dialogue. He concluded by briefly touching on the topic of “I told you so,” which he described as a potentially damaging phrase in relationships. Balancing Self-Reflection and Conflict Todd discussed the concept of “let them” from a self-help book, emphasizing the importance of allowing others to be themselves and not trying to control their feelings or actions. He noted that while this approach can be beneficial, it should not be taken to an extreme where it leads to passivity or avoidance of conflict. Todd also highlighted the need for personal growth and self-reflection, suggesting that one’s own reactivity and aversion to conflict should be investigated. He used the example of a yoga class to illustrate the balance between allowing others to have their own experiences and ensuring their safety. Balancing Letting Go in Relationships Todd and the speaker discussed the concept of “letting go” and its application in personal relationships. They agreed that while the idea is not new, it can be easily manipulated or oversimplified. They also discussed the importance of self-awareness and nuance in applying this concept, emphasizing that it’s not about being hyper-focused on others’ experiences but about finding a balance. They touched on the idea that sometimes, letting go means not trying to fix or control a situation, but rather allowing it to unfold naturally. The conversation also highlighted the need for individuals to explore what feels right for them, rather than blindly following a concept. Sesame Street Characters and Interstellar Todd discussed his favorite Sesame Street characters, including Oscar the Grouch and Snuffleupagus, and how they represented different emotions. He also shared his thoughts on the character Murray, who he believes could st

Todd and Cathy discussed Cathy’s most recent Substack which were 10 quotes that impacted Cathy. The conversation covered a range of subjects including the balance between joy and sadness, the value of kindness and compassion, and the significance of critical thinking and role modeling in conversations. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Meeting summary with AI Companion now supports additional languages in preview. Learn More Meeting summary for https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82667986075?pwd=RlhaajhRWDIrZXAwai8zWkx2UWk4QT09 (01/06/2025) Quick recap Todd and Kathy discussed their upcoming podcast episode and conference, while sharing personal experiences and reflections on various life topics. Throughout the meeting, Todd emphasized the importance of authenticity, self-reflection, and finding joy in everyday experiences, drawing from philosophical concepts and personal anecdotes. The conversation covered a range of subjects including the balance between joy and sadness, the value of kindness and compassion, and the significance of critical thinking and role modeling in conversations. Next steps Conference attendees to register for Zen Con 2025 within the next 2.5 weeks. Readers of “Restoring Our Girls” to leave 5-star reviews on Amazon or Goodreads if they found the book helpful. Sweetie to continue writing her weekly substack, ensuring it’s published on Fridays. Todd to review and potentially adjust his commitments, considering which tasks are truly necessary. Podcast listeners to consider sharing their art, writing, or teaching, as it may positively impact others. Summary Podcast Episode and Upcoming ConferenceTodd and Cathy discussed their upcoming podcast episode, which will be their 797th. They also talked about their last conference, Zen Con 25, which is 18 days away. Todd encouraged anyone who can attend to join them, mentioning that they have scholarships available. They also discussed their vision boards and how they use them to set intentions. Kathy shared her moment, “Starting the Year with Empowering Quotes,” where she shared 10 quotes she thought were worth sharing with her subscribers. They also briefly discussed their recent holiday celebrations and how they had to readjust to normal life after the festivities. Embracing Different Parts of SelfTodd discussed the importance of understanding and accepting different aspects of oneself, using the concept of ‘parts work’ and ‘internal family systems’. He emphasized the need to acknowledge and love these parts, rather than denying or repressing them, as they often act in protection or distraction. Todd also shared a quote by Jane Hirschfield about the unpredictability of life, using the example of a rock garden in Kyoto where one cannot see all the rocks from a single viewpoint. He suggested that this unpredictability can be both negative and positive, and that there is always something we cannot foresee. Todd concluded by emphasizing the need for humility in understanding our own lives and the lives of others. Finding Joy Amidst Grief and SadnessTodd discussed the importance of understanding paradox and the balance between joy and sadness. He shared personal experiences of feeling joy in the midst of grief and at funerals, highlighting the unique energy and connection present in such situations. Todd also reflected on the challenges of organizing funerals and the need for a suitable venue to accommodate the necessary events. He emphasized the importance of finding a balance between the binary nature of joy and sadness, and the need to appreciate the moments of joy amidst difficult situations. Kindness, Compassion, and Humility in LifeTodd discussed the importance of kindness and compassion in making a difference in people’s lives. He shared a personal experience of receiving a meaningful quote from a listener, which he still looks at daily. Todd emphasized the value of humility and understanding one’s place in the world, drawing from a Zen saying that encourages embracing both the specialness and ordinariness of a person. He concluded by highlighting the significance of balancing ambit

Todd and Cathy discussed various TV shows, movies, and practices to improve mental and emotional well-being, including gratitude lists, morning pages, and yogic adjustments. They also emphasized the importance of prioritization, effective task management, and creating playlists for personal enjoyment and staying connected with others. Lastly, they touched on the concept of meditation, the importance of initiating conversations with daughters, and the need for nonjudgmental and engaging interactions. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Meeting summary for zpr (12/30/2024) Quick recap Todd and Kathy discussed various TV shows, movies, and practices to improve mental and emotional well-being, including gratitude lists, morning pages, and yogic adjustments. They also emphasized the importance of prioritization, effective task management, and creating playlists for personal enjoyment and staying connected with others. Lastly, they touched on the concept of meditation, the importance of initiating conversations with daughters, and the need for nonjudgmental and engaging interactions. Summary Avoiding Disappointment and Classic SitcomsTodd prepares to record a podcast episode discussing ideas for avoiding disappointment in the new year. Instead of making resolutions, Kathy suggests 10 enjoyable practices that can improve life. Before that, they pay tribute to the recently deceased Linda Lavin from the show Alice and former President Jimmy Carter. Todd and Kathy reminisce about 1970s and 80s sitcoms like Alice that reflected more realistic family situations. They fondly recall memorable catchphrases from those classic shows that audiences eagerly awaited. TV Shows, Movies, and Parenting ConferenceTodd discussed various TV shows and movies, including Hill Street Blues, Hawaii 5-0, and The A-Team. He also mentioned his boss sending stone crabs every year and the catchphrase “make it so” from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Todd then promoted the upcoming Zen Parenting Conference, encouraging listeners to invest in themselves and their families. He also shared his thoughts on eccentric director Boz Luhrman and his dislike for musicals, except for Wicked and Blues Brothers. Lastly, Todd mentioned a movie he watched called Bad Christmas Moms. Improving Mental Well-Being PracticesTodd discussed various practices to improve mental and emotional well-being. He suggested starting the day with a gratitude list, a brain dump through morning pages, and writing letters from love. He also recommended a yogic adjustment called’shoulders back’ to improve posture and breathing. Todd emphasized the importance of these practices in shifting one’s mindset and promoting positivity. He also mentioned his intention to share more about these practices in his substack. Todd’s Emotional Flu and MemoriesTodd discusses crying while watching several movies due to being sick with the flu. He reflects that grief and sadness can get “stuck” in the lungs according to Eastern medicine beliefs. Todd attributes his susceptibility to illness partly to unresolved emotions needing release, in addition to exposure to germs. He and his friend reminisce about an amusing “Pants on the Ground” performance from American Idol. Promoting Mindfulness and Self-Care PracticesTodd discussed various practices to promote mindfulness and self-care. He emphasized the importance of taking breaks, such as lying on the ground to release stress and gain positive energy. He also highlighted the value of gratitude texts, which can be sent to express appreciation for others. Todd also stressed the importance of weekly opt-outs, allowing individuals to reassess their commitments and prioritize their well-being. He used the metaphor of pebbling, likening the act of sending texts or gifts to offering love and support. Todd encouraged the practice of recognizing and opting out of obligations that may not be necessary, promoting a sense of freedom and choice. Eisenhower Matrix and Vision BoardsTodd discussed the importance of prioritization and managing tasks effectively. He introduced the Eisenhower Matrix, a tool for catego

Todd and Cathy discussed the movie “Elf,” covering its production, casting, and memorable scenes. They explored the film’s themes, characters, and cultural significance, while also playing a trivia game and sharing personal reflections on the Christmas spirit. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Order-Restoring our Girls Attend ZenCon 25 Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys

Todd & Cathy discussed the release of Cathy’s book “Restoring Our Girls,” which focuses on challenges faced by teenage girls. Todd shared insights on making P, B, & J’s, parenting, particularly maintaining connections with his daughters as they mature and become more independent. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Pre-Restoring our Girls Register for the Workshop Attend ZenCon 25 Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Cathy’s Book Release and Workshop Todd’s Frustration and Daughter’s Schedule Todd shared his frustration about making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, specifically the clumpiness of the jelly. He learned from someone that putting the jelly on the peanut butter makes it easier to spread. He then shifted the conversation to his frustration with his daughter’s busy schedule, particularly during her junior high school years. He acknowledged that he tends to forget how busy his daughter is during this time. Todd also mentioned that he had been venting to Cathy about his frustration. He then read a paragraph from a book, which he felt was written specifically for him on that day. Navigating Parental Relationships and Rejection Todd discussed the challenges of maintaining a relationship with his daughters as they mature. He acknowledged that he sometimes feels hurt when they prefer to spend time with friends or alone rather than with him. Todd recognized that he has not experienced rejection in the same way as others, having had a series of relationships since he was 12. He suggested that this lack of experience with rejection has made it difficult for him to handle his daughters’ independence. Todd also noted that parenting can be messy and harder to define when it comes to understanding his daughters’ preferences. One-Way Connections in Parenting Discussed Todd discussed the concept of one-way connections, particularly in the context of parenting. He emphasized the importance of providing support and stability to children without expecting anything in return. Todd also touched on the idea of letting children grow and develop their own relationships, even if it means they pull away from their parents at times. He shared personal experiences with his daughters, noting that they eventually return, but in a more mature and independent way. Todd’s Parenting Strategies and Boundaries Todd discussed his approach to maintaining connections with his children, emphasizing the importance of small, one-way gestures such as sending texts and pictures throughout the day. He shared an example of how he surprised his daughter with a quiet morning and a new shower curtain for her bathroom. Todd also highlighted the importance of setting boundaries and expectations for his children, such as informing him about their whereabouts and following through with commitments. He expressed his belief that these small actions and expectations contribute to a sense of security and comfort in the home. Empathy and Perspective in Parenting Todd discussed the importance of understanding and empathizing with children’s experiences, rather than judging them. He emphasized the need for parents to have a wider perspective on the world and to see things from their children’s point of view. Todd also highlighted the importance of self-compassion, self-forgiveness, and self-acceptance in parenting. He shared personal anecdotes about his daughters, illustrating how they sometimes need time to catch up with their parents due to their busy lives. Todd concluded by stressing the need for parents to be open to their children’s experiences and not to judge them for being busy. Planning Family Activities and Games Todd shared his enthusiasm for planning family activities, emphasizing his preference for setting up games and movie nights with specific rules and timings. He also discussed his stress around these activities, suggesting that he should let go a bit and allow others to join in at their own pace. Todd also introduced a game called “Cones of Dunshire” which he had learned from his daughters and was eager to play. The game involves rolling dice, building civilizations, and accumulating cones to win. Zen Con 25

Cathy & Todd discussed the release of Cathy’s fifth book, the importance of allowing oneself and one’s children to express their true selves, and the challenges of parenting. They also shared personal stories about their daughters and the reasons behind children unloading their emotions at night. Lastly, they emphasized the importance of emotional release, creative problem-solving, and maintaining stability for children. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Pre-order Restoring our Girls Register for the Workshop Attend ZenCon 25 Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Summary Cathy’s Book Release and Workshop In this episode of Zen Parenting Radio, Todd and Cathy discussed the upcoming release of Cathy’s fifth book, “Restoring Our Girls,” which is set to be released on December 10th. They also announced a free workshop on December 16th for those who have purchased the book, focusing on how to have conversations with daughters. Todd emphasized the importance of the book and the workshop, stating that it would be a valuable resource for parents seeking to understand their daughters better. The episode concluded with a reminder about the last in-person conference scheduled for January 24th and 25th, with details to be provided later. Wicked’s Themes and Personal Expression Cathy & Todd discuss the musical Wicked and its themes of conditioning and conformity. Cathy shares a personal story about dressing up as Dorothy for Halloween multiple years as a child, and how other boys’ reactions made her consider conforming to more stereotypically masculine costumes. This leads to a broader discussion about the importance of allowing oneself and one’s children to express their true selves rather than conforming to societal expectations. They also briefly mention their experience watching the Wicked movie and how it relates to these themes. Leading in Parenting and Communication They explored the idea of leading as a parent, including allowing children to lead and taking the initiative to reconnect with them as they grow. They also discussed the challenges of having real conversations with children, particularly when they come to their parents late at night. Todd emphasized the importance of validating children’s feelings without agreeing with them, and the potential for children to sense their parents’ emotions even when they are not explicitly expressed. Finding Acceptable Communication Methods They shared a personal story about their daughter who preferred writing letters to expressing her feelings verbally. This method allowed her to share her emotions in a less overwhelming way. They emphasized the importance of finding a method that works for both parent and child, rather than insisting on a specific way of communication. They also highlighted the need for parents to be open and accepting of their children’s unique ways of expressing themselves, rather than imposing their own expectations or preferences. Understanding Children’s Emotional Unloading They discussed the reasons behind children unloading their emotions at night. They emphasized that it’s not due to a desire to be annoying, but rather a genuine emotional release after a day of heightened feelings and stress. Cathy also highlighted the importance of understanding that these unfiltered emotions may not always reflect the child’s full reality or perspective. They used a personal anecdote to illustrate this point, where a mother’s concerns about her daughter’s school experience were not entirely accurate. They concluded by suggesting that these emotional releases are akin to unloading baggage, allowing the child to see things more clearly. Emotional Release and Parenting Strategies They discussed the importance of emotional release and creative problem-solving in parenting. Cathy emphasized the need for parents to be adaptable and flexible, rather than rigidly adhering to a single approach. They also highlighted the significance of setting boundaries and understanding the needs of children, using examples from his own experiences with his daughters. Todd encouraged parents to be creative in their interactions with their children, sugge

This week’s podcast features a chat with three high school seniors from Hinsdale Central, just outside of Chicago. Zara, Rami, and Molly have started Chase Light, a group focused on breaking down the stigma around mental health and offering support to their peers. They were inspired by the community support seen in Alcoholics Anonymous and want to help other teens deal with stress and mental health issues that are common in high school. They talk honestly about how adults often don’t quite understand what teens need when it comes to mental health and give some ideas on what could be better. They also discuss how smartphones and social media add to the stress, making this a really relevant conversation for both parents and teens. Tune in to hear their stories and the positive impact they’re aiming to have. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Quick recap The group discussed the challenges faced by young men in expressing their emotions and the societal pressures that contribute to these behaviors. They also explored the impact of social media on their lives, with Zara sharing her personal experience of deleting social media for six months and Rami using it as a motivation. Lastly, they shared techniques for managing stress and anxiety, with Zara emphasizing the importance of planning, taking breaks, and listening to their kids. Next steps Parents to practice active listening and avoid being overbearing when their children share concerns or struggles. Students to explore healthy ways to manage stress, such as planning their day, taking breaks, or using music to relax. Parents to prioritize self-care while supporting their children’s mental health and well-being. Summary Overcoming Emotional Vulnerability in SocietyZara shared her personal journey of overcoming her initial reluctance to discuss her feelings and how it led her to create an organization to help others navigate similar situations. She highlighted the challenges faced by young men in expressing their emotions, attributing this to societal expectations and the need to appear tough. Zara’s friends, Molly and Sarah, agreed with her observations, noting the difference in vulnerability between young men and women. Todd, the facilitator, acknowledged the challenges faced by both genders and emphasized the importance of emotional vulnerability in connecting with others. The group agreed that societal expectations and conditioning play a significant role in shaping these behaviors. High School Pressure and CompetitionTodd and Zara discussed the pressure and competitiveness they feel in their high school community, particularly regarding college applications. Zara shared her personal experience of feeling pressure to attend a prestigious college, despite her parents not being overly concerned about her choice. She also mentioned the influence of social media, such as TikTok, where students share their college acceptances and extracurricular activities, creating a sense of competition. Todd acknowledged the cultural and societal factors contributing to this pressure, and Zara agreed that it was not just coming from parents or school advisors, but also from peers and social media. Social Media Perspectives and UsageIn the meeting, Zara, Rami, and Todd discussed their perspectives on social media. Zara expressed her belief that social media can be both positive and negative, depending on the platform and how it’s used. She also shared her personal experience of deleting social media for six months during Covid, which made her the happiest person on earth. Rami, on the other hand, uses social media as a motivation to improve himself. Todd agreed with both perspectives, noting that social media can be both fun and toxic. The group also discussed the hypocrisy of parents telling their kids not to use social media while they themselves use it. Zara suggested that parents should have conversations with their kids about social media rather than punishing them for using it. The group also discussed the importance of having activities and scheduling things in their day to avoid addiction to social media. Managing Stress and Music Preferenc

Cathy & Todd discussed the concept of Spiral Dynamics, a theory about human evolution and societal development, and its application in parenting and relationships. They emphasized the importance of balance, flexibility, and empathy in understanding different stages of development and maintaining a strong value system. They also touched on the interconnectedness of values and the need for critical thinking. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Exploring Spiral Dynamics and Evolution Todd discussed the concept of spiral dynamics, a theory about how societies and individuals evolve over time. He mentioned that he based his new book on this idea, focusing on the yellow level of evolution, which he hopes society is currently reaching. Todd also shared his personal connection to the topic, mentioning that he listened to others process through the complex theory. He briefly touched on the idea of colors representing different levels of evolution, but did not delve into specifics. Exploring Spiral Dynamics and Compassion Todd discussed the concept of Spiral Dynamics, a model that helps understand human behavior and evolution. He explained that people often revert to earlier stages of development, such as the survival mindset (Beige) or tribal understanding (Purple), depending on their circumstances. Todd also mentioned the importance of compassion in understanding these different stages. He ended the discussion by briefly touching on the last stage, Turquoise, which represents a holistic and interconnected mindset. Exploring Color Associations and Personalities Todd discussed the different personality traits associated with various colors, focusing on red, blue, and orange. He described red as assertive, powerful, and impulsive, often associated with authoritarian leaders. Blue, he explained, is about valuing order, authority, and structure, and is common in religious leaders and conservative politicians. Orange, he noted, is about enthusiasm, playfulness, and a desire for excitement. Todd also shared his personal experiences and connections to these colors, using Taylor Swift songs and personal anecdotes to illustrate his points. Balancing Human Nature in Society Todd discussed the importance of balance in society, focusing on the different aspects of human nature represented by the colors red, blue, orange, and green. He highlighted the potential pitfalls of each color, such as the shadow of green, which can lead to idealism versus practicality and exclusion in the name of inclusion. Todd emphasized the need for a more inclusive and empathetic society, but also acknowledged that there is still work to be done to achieve this balance. Adapting Parenting Styles for Change Todd discussed the importance of adapting and being flexible in parenting, drawing from the concept of yellow in the context of spiral dynamics. He emphasized that parenting styles should evolve to meet the changing needs of children, rather than relying on traditional methods. Todd also introduced a book, “Restoring Our Girls,” which explores the values of yellow and how they can be applied in parenting. He highlighted the need for integrating different concepts and understanding that multiple things can be true at once. Todd also touched on the importance of empathy and innovation, using the example of the TV show “Law and Order” to illustrate the balance between structure and adaptability. Critical Thinking in Polarized Society Todd discussed the importance of critical thinking and its role in preventing abusive relationships, high control groups, cults, and conspiracy theories. He emphasized that critical thinking is not solely about education, but also about being able to see things from multiple perspectives and understanding other people’s viewpoints. Todd also highlighted the current polarized society and how certain groups benefit from pushing people apart. He mentioned his past experiences with philosophy majors who claimed that business schools teach what to think, while philosophy teaches how to think. Balancing Perspectives in Parenting and Relationships Todd discussed the challenges of pare

Todd and Cathy emphasized the importance of understanding and connecting with daughters, using Cathy’s upcoming book on parenting girls as a guide. They shared personal experiences and strategies for maintaining strong relationships with children, highlighting the need for physical presence, understanding, and adapting communication styles. They also stressed the importance of respecting individual needs and preferences, and encouraged the use of humor and creativity in communication, while also promoting community and optimistic perspectives. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Meeting summary with AI Companion now supports additional languages in preview. Learn More Meeting summary for ZPR Podcast Recording (11/11/2024) Quick recap Cathy’s Book on Parenting GirlsTodd discusses the importance of Cathy’s upcoming book on parenting girls, even though the current focus is on issues facing boys. He emphasizes that girls’ struggles should not be overlooked based on data suggesting they perform better academically. Cathy’s book highlights the value “Connect with me” by addressing daughters’ desire to feel understood and less alone. Todd praises the book for capturing Kathy’s natural parenting wisdom beyond just summarizing previous advice. Navigating Parent-Child Connection ChallengesTodd discussed the challenges of maintaining a strong connection with daughters in a society filled with distractions. He introduced a book as a roadmap for staying connected, both energetically and conversationally. Todd emphasized the importance of understanding the natural process of differentiation in children, which can be both heartbreaking and liberating for parents. He shared a personal experience of trying to connect with his daughter, highlighting the need to consider the child’s perspective and not force connection. Todd also introduced the concept of “When I know you’re thinking of me, I feel less alone,” suggesting that parents should find creative ways to check in with their children, even when they seem distant. Supporting Overwhelmed Teenagers With PresenceTodd discussed his approach to connecting with his 17-year-old daughter, who was feeling overwhelmed. He emphasized the importance of physical presence and actions, rather than just words, to show support and understanding. He shared an example of how he laid down on the floor to be at her level, and offered to do small tasks like washing her sheets to show his availability. Todd also highlighted the importance of not imposing one’s own needs or expectations on the child, but rather understanding and respecting their boundaries. He concluded by suggesting that asking the child what support means to them can be a valuable approach, even if they may not have a clear answer. Adapting Communication Strategies With ChildrenTodd emphasized the importance of adapting communication strategies with children, particularly when they respond negatively. He suggested that parents should not judge themselves harshly for not achieving immediate results, but instead, try different approaches. Todd also highlighted the value of maintaining connections with others, even in challenging times, and encouraged the use of humor and creativity in communication. He shared a personal experience of spending quality time with his daughter, Skylar, and suggested that parents should be mindful of their children’s needs and interests. Respecting Individual Needs in RelationshipsTodd discussed the importance of understanding and respecting individual needs and preferences in relationships, particularly in the context of parenting. He shared his own experience with his daughter, who prefers to read in the morning to feel less alone, and emphasized the need to consider the other person’s perspective rather than imposing one’s own. Todd also highlighted the importance of asking questions and avoiding judgments, and suggested that conversations about personal issues should be approached with sensitivity and at appropriate times. He encouraged the audience to try different approaches and ad

Todd and Cathy bring calm in the context of an upcoming election. They discussed the importance of self-compassion, its three components, and the concept of mindfulness, emphasizing that self-compassion is not about letting oneself off the hook, but rather about treating oneself with kindness and understanding. They also highlighted the challenges of balancing emotions and planning for the future, and the importance of self-care and mindfulness in managing these emotions. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Zen Parenting Radio: Calm and ElectionIn this episode of Zen parenting radio, Todd and Kathy aim to bring some calm to their audience, particularly in the context of an upcoming election. They decided to record a 30-minute podcast of calm, without any sales pitches or discussions about their conference or book. The podcast was recorded on November 2nd and scheduled to be released on November 5th. The hosts also experimented with a study music track in the background, but were unsure if it would be effective. Self-Compassion and Radical AcceptanceTodd discussed the importance of self-compassion, particularly in times of anxiety or overwhelm. He shared his personal experiences with fear and anxiety, noting that he tends to freeze up and become paralyzed when faced with fear. Todd emphasized the need for self-compassion to keep moving forward despite these feelings. He also acknowledged that he tends to compartmentalize, while his colleague tends to be more spongy. Todd stressed the importance of radical self-acceptance and awareness of one’s situation to make shifts towards feeling more. He also noted that not everyone experiences self-criticism or wishes to be different, and that some people may be more concerned with external challenges. Self-Compassion: A More Stable SenseTodd discussed the concept of self-compassion, its origins in research by Kristen Neff, and its distinction from self-esteem. He highlighted that self-esteem often relies on external validation and comparison, whereas self-compassion is more accepting and understanding, especially in times of failure. Todd also emphasized the importance of self-compassion in fostering a more connected and supportive environment, both for oneself and others. He concluded by noting that self-compassion provides a more stable sense of self-worth over time, which is particularly relevant for parents dealing with their children’s struggles. The Power of Self-CompassionTodd discussed the importance of self-compassion and its three components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. He emphasized that self-compassion is not about letting oneself off the hook, but rather about treating oneself with kindness and understanding, which allows for clearer thinking and better decision-making. Todd also highlighted the potential negative effects of self-judgment and the importance of acknowledging and directing attention away from the inner critic. He concluded by stating that self-compassion enables individuals to recognize their mistakes and make different choices, leading to personal growth and development. Mindfulness: Awareness and Self-Kindness JourneyTodd discussed the concept of mindfulness, describing it as being aware of one’s surroundings and body without judgment. He emphasized that it’s a lifelong journey and not about achieving a specific state, but rather about being present in the moment. Todd also highlighted the importance of self-kindness when one’s mind wanders, and the need to recognize that one doesn’t have to stay in a negative state. He used personal experiences and practical examples to illustrate his points. Balancing Emotions and Planning for FutureTodd discussed the challenges of balancing emotions and planning for the future. He acknowledged the difficulty of staying calm amidst uncertainty, such as the upcoming election, and the need to prepare mentally for potential outcomes. Todd also shared his personal experiences of hyperventilating due to worry about missing important moments with his children. He emphasized the importance of self-care and mindfulness in managing these emotions. The conv

Todd and Cathy emphasized the importance of supporting children through their challenges, the need for parents to understand their children’s perspectives, and the significance of civic engagement, particularly voting. They also discussed the importance of critical thinking, questioning authority, and engaging with adults, while expressing concern about the current political climate and the need for honesty and transparency. Lastly, they shared their experiences and perspectives on leadership, the importance of creating spaces for real conversations, and the need for people to listen more and understand the potential impact of political changes on their lives. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack A Little Bit Culty – A Conversation with The Vow’s Sarah Edmondson and Anthony “Nippy” Ames – Podcast #675 Time Stamps (00:09:30) ZPR Moment- “I Don’t Know” (00:21:14) Civil engagement (00:43:31) Talking to women ** (00:48:52) Join Team Zen (00:51:11) Attend ZenCon 25 Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Summary Supporting Children and Civic EngagementTodd emphasized the importance of supporting children through their challenges, suggesting that this support should start early in their lives. He also discussed the need for parents to understand their children’s perspectives and not impose their own expectations. Todd further highlighted the significance of civic engagement, particularly voting, and expressed concern about the complacency of younger generations. He acknowledged that the current time is different from his own youth, but still believes that young people should be more engaged in the voting process. Voting, Women’s Rights, and ChangeTodd discussed the importance of voting and the impact of recent election cycles on the direction of the country. He expressed his concern about the erosion of women’s rights and the need for change. Todd also shared his personal experience of being a woman and working with women, emphasizing the importance of reproductive freedom and overall health. He encouraged others to register to vote and participate in the democratic process, despite differing opinions. Embracing Uncertainty and Honest ParentingTodd expressed his concern about the current political climate and the need for honesty and transparency. He emphasized the importance of valuing uncertainty and not pretending to have all the answers. Todd also discussed the concept of “Zen parenting,” which involves being honest with children about not knowing everything and encouraging them to find their own solutions. He highlighted the power of saying “I don’t know” as a way to promote self-discovery and decision-making in children. Embracing Uncertainty in ParentingTodd discusses the importance of acknowledging that one does not have all the answers, especially when it comes to parenting and understanding children’s perspectives. He emphasizes staying curious, demonstrating humility, and giving children the freedom to find their own path instead of imposing one’s own expectations. Todd plays clips from movies to illustrate his point about not pretending to know everything. The overall message is to be open-minded, avoid assumptions, and embrace the uncertainty of not having all the answers when it comes to raising children. Encouraging Critical Thinking and EngagementTodd discussed the importance of critical thinking and allowing children to form their own opinions, rather than imposing one’s own beliefs. He emphasized the need for children to learn to trust themselves and process information from various sources. Todd also touched on the topic of civil engagement, using the example of the upcoming election. He suggested that parents should engage their children in discussions about current issues, such as gun control, in a child-appropriate manner. Todd stressed the importance of finding common ground and understanding different viewpoints, rather than resorting to binary thinking. Critical Thinking and Respectful DignityTodd discussed the importance of critical thinking and questioning authority, emphasizing that it doesn’t mean disrespecting e

Todd and Cathy explored the concept of love bombing, its connection to cults and abusive relationships, and the importance of teaching children to recognize and navigate such situations. The conversation also touched on Todd’s experience at an event addressing domestic violence, Cathy’s upcoming book, and the significance of intuition and boundary-setting in relationships. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack A Little Bit Culty – A Conversation with The Vow’s Sarah Edmondson and Anthony “Nippy” Ames – Podcast #675 Time Stamps (00:03:15) What we’re talking about (00:09:45) What is an anxiety spiral? (00:32:20) First steps * (00:50:20) Join Team Zen Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys

Cathy & Todd explore anxiety spirals sharing personal experiences and strategies for managing anxiety, including mindfulness, grounding techniques, self-soothing methods, and healthy distractions. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Time Stamps (00:03:15) What we’re talking about (00:09:45) What is an anxiety spiral? (00:32:20) First steps * (00:50:20) Join Team Zen Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys

Todd & Cathy shared the pervasive nature of comparison culture in various aspects of life. They emphasized the importance of self-awareness, individuality, and understanding the underlying motivations behind one’s actions and desires, rather than just focusing on external validation. They also discussed the impact of social media on comparison culture, the importance of empathy and kindness, and the fleeting nature of happiness derived from material possessions. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Time Stamps (00:04:55) Todd’s airport guy story (00:52:57) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 (00:16:00) Comparison (00:25:06) Todd owns his stuff * (00:53:04) Join Team Zen Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys

We discuss the importance of self-understanding, real conversations with children, and the impact of labels on their development. Discussions also focused on mental well-being, resilience, and personal growth in children, emphasizing the need to allow them to explore their own interests and make decisions. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Time Stamps (00:01:45) Critical thinking and investigating dis-information (00:14:47) “Know Me”- The Danger of Labels (00:52:57) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 (00:53:04) Join Team Zen Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys

Dr. John Duffy joins us as we take questions from Team Zen regarding teens experimenting with drugs and alcohol, lack of motivation, screen time, time management, and challenges with youth sports coaches. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Time Stamps (00:00:00) ZenCon25 Announcement (00:12:00) 16 year old son experimenting with drugs/alcohol (00:25:07) 20 year old son stuck and unmotivated (00:34:23) ZenCon 25, Restoring Our Girls, Team Zen (00:39:40) 17 year old daughter struggling with screentime and time management (00:51:35) 14 year old son challenges with his baseball coach (01:10:04) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys