Zen Pop

Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! Cathy and Todd share the story behind Zen Parenting Radio’s evolution into Zen Pop Parenting—a podcast where mindful living, emotional awareness, and Gen X pop culture come together. From the music, movies, and moments that shaped them to the real-life experiences of parenting kids (young or grown), they explore how connection and communication help people better understand themselves and each other. For longtime listeners of Zen Parenting Radio, there’s no need to worry, they’re still the same Cathy and Todd. They’ve kept a strong focus on parenting and self-awareness, continuing to explore how to stay connected to their kids and true to themselves. This is simply an update—a way to build on what’s always worked and view it through a fresh lens. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen MenLiving Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: 11 mistakes I have made as a husband (and why I’m better for it) Listen, Allow, Support, Repeat Podcast #244 Listen To This One With Your Partner- Podcast #378 A Call To Men Podcast #449 Real-Time Emotional Labor- Podcast #440 The Profound Loneliness of American Men- Podcast #429 How Do I Get My Partner To….- Podcast# 423 The Gift Of Failure- Podcast #407 The Five Invitations- Podcast #406 Emotional Labor is an Unpaid Job- Podcast #405 The Joke- Podcast #469 Connection Is Everything Podcast # 483 (Gottman) Wounds & Triggers- Podcast #528 Emotional Neglect: What Your Feelings Are Saying- Podcast #512 The Enneagram- Podcast #508 Managing Screen Time Part 1- Podcast #558 Managing Screen Time Part 2- Podcast #559 Spiritual Bypassing & Race- Podcast #551 Women’s Rights are Human Rights- Podcast #616 Getting To Zero- An Interview With Jayson Gaddis- Podcast #621 Dr. Dan Siegel- The Power of Showing UP- Podcast #526 A Discussion With Dr. Shefali Tsabary (Replay) Podcast #289 “All Teenagers Are Amazing” – Dr. John Duffy Podcast #264 “All Teenagers Are Amazing” Part 2- Dr. John Duffy Podcast #266 Setting Boundaries With Love Outliving Cancer with Tears, Wit, and Grace 10 Habits To Turn Your Marriage Around 10 Mistakes I Made as a Wife (And Why I’m Better For it) For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI SummaryZen Pop Parenting Podcast LaunchTodd and Kathy introduce their new podcast format, Zen Pop Parenting, which will blend pop culture discussions with their existing focus on self-awareness, mindfulness, and parenting. They reflect on their 15-year journey with Zen Parenting Radio, sharing statistics on listenership and international reach. The hosts express excitement about the new direction, emphasizing that it will maintain their core values while incorporating more fun, nostalgia, and pop culture references to better connect with their audience and their children’s experiences.Reflecting on Podcast ThemesTodd and Kathy reminisce about various podcast episodes they’ve recorded over the years. They recall a story about a young ballet dancer named Soren, whose father was inspired by their “Zen parenting” approach. They also discuss episodes on understanding women, emotional labor, loneliness in men, and the importance of connection in relationships. The conversation touches on personal experiences, including dealing with perimenopause and losing parents, as well as their discussions on death and analyzing song lyrics.Understanding Emotional Neglect in RelationshipsTodd discusses several relationship and psychological concepts. He mentions the “Four Horsemen” in relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, with contempt being the most detrimental. Todd also talks about emotional neglect, explaining how it can affect children’s development when their feelings are ignored or dismissed by parents. He references the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) test, which includes questions about various forms of childhood trauma, including emotional neglect. Todd emphasizes the importance of recognizing and naming these experiences to understand personal struggles, particularly for Generation X who may have experienced emotional neglect in their upbringing.Zen Parenting Podcast Evolu

Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! Cathy and Todd discuss what brings you both peace and fire and why your somatic experience (what you feel in your body) is a more authentic guide than overthinking. They unpack what the word miracle really means, challenge narrow ideas of productivity, and share a single word that can help you enjoy life instead of staying stuck. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen MenLiving Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp 0:00 What adds peace and fire? 28:22 A Word for When It’s All Too Much 30:42- Boundaries * Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Pop Culture Meets Mindful ParentingTodd announced a shift in the focus of Zen Parenting Radio, emphasizing a new direction that integrates pop culture as a primary lens to explore themes of mindfulness, parenting, compassion, and self-awareness. He explained that the show will delve into how pop culture reflects societal values, connects families, and offers insights into personal growth. Starting June 1st, the show will feature updated content, a new title, and a renewed enthusiasm while maintaining its core message about the importance of a parent’s self-understanding for a child’s well-being. Somatic Awareness and Peaceful ChoicesTodd and Sweet discussed two pieces of writing, focusing on the concept of “what adds peace and fire” and the somatic experience of feeling versus thinking. They explored how somatic awareness can guide personal choices, bypassing intellectual considerations to connect with bodily sensations. Todd shared personal examples of peace-inducing activities, including rabbits, walks, and reading, while emphasizing the importance of balancing thinking and feeling in decision-making. Finding Peace and ProductivityTodd and his partner discuss various ways they find peace and relaxation. Todd mentions driving his Jeep with the top down and a good sound system, which he also uses to help regulate his daughters’ moods. They talk about enjoying nature, such as lilac trees in their backyard and a cardinal that sings daily. The couple also discusses different perspectives on productivity, with Todd’s partner encouraging a broader definition that includes activities like reading or yard work. They reflect on how their different approaches to relaxation and productivity affect each other. Music’s Personal and Social ImpactThe group discussed personal connections to songs, with Todd sharing how “Sweet Baby James” by James Taylor evokes memories of his father, while Tracy highlighted the significance of Tracy Chapman’s music in her life, particularly regarding social justice issues. The conversation then centered on Milt Hold’s song “Quiet,” which was written after experiencing sexual assault and became widely known during the 2016 Women’s March. The song’s powerful performance at a conference left a lasting impact on the group, with its message resonating deeply with themes of personal empowerment and social awareness. Active Listening and Personal BoundariesTodd discussed the importance of active listening, emphasizing the need to balance empathy with personal boundaries. He shared his personal journey of developing “full body listening” and the challenges of maintaining boundaries while being present for others. Todd also introduced the concept of “liberosis,” a term from John Koenig’s Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, which describes the desire to care a little less and loosen one’s grip on concerns. Embracing Freedom in Life’s FlowTodd discussed the concept of liberosis, which he described as allowing oneself to move freely from one thing to the next with less expectation and more freedom of expression. He explained that this way of being is connected to liberation and can help people enjoy life more by trusting that what comes next might be useful or helpful. Todd also noted that while goals are not inherently bad, they can become a source of heaviness if one believes that life’s enjoyment or success depends solely on achieving planned outcomes. Transforming Perception

Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! Empathy drives connection, but some claim it’s dangerous because it disrupts the status quo they want to maintain. We explore why empathy is being framed as a flaw, and how history, research, and pop culture remind us that caring about others isn’t weakness—it’s what keeps us human. Plus, a deep dive into the greatest villains and protagonists in film and what they teach us about staying grounded in what we know to be true. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary SummaryPodcast Shifts to Pop Culture FocusTodd and Cathy announced a shift in their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, to focus more on pop culture and its reflection of societal values, parenting, and self-awareness. They plan to explore how pop culture has shaped their beliefs and parenting styles, and how it can provide deeper insight into who they are and how they want to show up in the world. The new direction is set to start on June 1st, with the first two episodes already recorded. New Pope’s Chicago Connection DiscussedThe new Pope, Leo, hails from the south side of Chicago and is a White Sox fan, which has sparked excitement and a sense of connection among Chicagoans. Todd discusses how people are finding ways to relate to the Pope through personal anecdotes and shared experiences. The conversation touches on the Pope’s potential focus on ministry and caring for others, drawing comparisons to Pope Francis’s approach. Todd also mentions a women’s group meeting on Zoom with Kathy scheduled for the following day. Empathy’s Importance in Business and ParentingTodd discussed the importance of empathy and its demonization in various contexts, including religious doctrine and business. He emphasized the need for clarity on the concept of empathy and its benefits, using his college class as an example. Todd also introduced Team Zen, a platform for deep parenting discussions and workshops, and encouraged attendees to join. He concluded by highlighting the need for empathy in parenting and society, despite its potential misinterpretation. Todd’s Movie Quote Guessing GameTodd plays a movie quote guessing game, sharing various quotes and discussing the films they come from. He correctly identifies quotes from “Before Sunrise,” “Winnie the Pooh,” “The Fall of the Roman Empire,” and “Bee Movie.” Todd expresses his family’s fondness for “Bee Movie,” describing it as a “sick movie” they watched frequently when the children were ill. He concludes with a quote from “The Greatest,” featuring Muhammad Ali. Empathy: Balancing Compassion and Moral ClarityTodd discussed the concept of empathy, addressing concerns that it can be seen as negative. He clarified that empathy is not about feeling and taking on another person’s emotions, but rather understanding their feelings by relating to them through personal experiences. Todd emphasized the importance of maintaining stability and moral clarity while empathizing with others, and not being overwhelmed by their emotions. He also touched on the theological concerns surrounding empathy, stating that it should not compromise one’s moral judgment or lead to sinful behavior under the guise of compassion. Empathy and Interconnectedness in TheologyTodd discussed the importance of spiritual practices in fostering empathy and connection among individuals. He questioned the notion of empathy being labeled a sin, suggesting that it might be a means to protect a doctrine rather than people. Todd emphasized the interconnectedness of theology and the need for understanding and empathy in relationships. He also shared his personal interests in psychology, cultural studies, and theology, highlighting the importance of education in fostering empathy and understanding. Men as Heroes and VillainsTodd discussed the perception of men a

Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! They also discuss the normal shifts in kids’ friendships, highlighting the importance of loyalty, boundaries, and the reality that friendships evolve. As parents, we can feel more overwhelmed than our kids when these changes happen, but it’s important to normalize the ups and downs of friendships and offer support without letting our own fear or discomfort take over. Some Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Renaming Podcast to Zen Pop Parenting In the meeting, Todd and Cathy discussed the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen Pop Parenting. The new format will focus on pop culture and its influence on parenting, with a more humorous and light-hearted approach. The podcast will continue to be available on the same platform, and existing subscribers will not need to take any action. The first episode under the new format is scheduled for June 3rd. Friendships and Self-Identification in Children Todd and Kathy discussed the normalcy of changing friendships among children. They highlighted that friendships are not meant to last forever and that it’s a natural part of growing up for children to explore different social circles. They also touched on the importance of self-identification and the need for children to experience different social situations to understand what they truly want. The conversation also emphasized the need for parents to be aware of their own biases and not assume that their children are always being excluded or left out. Fictional Friendships: Longevity and Speculation Todd discussed the longevity of fictional friendships in movies, questioning whether they would still be friends in a generation. He used examples from movies like Shawshank, Thelma and Louise, Forrest and Bubba, Harry Ron and Hermione, Buzz and Woody, Wayne and Garth, Bonnie and Clyde, and others. Todd also humorously speculated on the potential outcomes of these friendships if the characters had made different choices or lived in different times. Meaningful Conversations With Children Todd discussed the importance of having meaningful conversations with children, emphasizing the need to start with basic topics and gradually move to more intimate subjects. He used the example of discussing baseball to illustrate how non-intense topics can lead to deeper conversations. Todd also highlighted the significance of sharing personal experiences and being curious about others’ lives to foster connections and understanding. Fire Alarm Incident and Leadership Todd discussed an incident at his club where a fire alarm went off, and while the women were outside following the rules, the men continued weightlifting. Todd and his partner had a conversation about entitlement, gender, and leadership, connecting the dots between the incident and the political landscape. They also discussed the importance of adhering to protocols and considering the safety of others. Todd’s Reflections on Friendship and Loyalty Todd discussed the importance of loyalty and boundaries in friendships, using Aristotle’s quote “a friend to all is a friend to none” as an example. He shared his personal experience of being a people pleaser and losing his sense of self in the process. Todd also mentioned a song by Taylor Swift, “Cardigan,” which he believes is about loyalty and the challenges of maintaining friendships. He ended the discussion by reminiscing about his high school days and the mixtape his pledge mom made for him, which included the song “Hello, Goodbye” by Phil Collins. Friendships: Challenges and Prioritization In the meeting, Todd discussed the challenges of maintaining friendships, particularly those that require effort and choice. He shared his personal experiences with friendships that have shifted or ended, and emphasized the importance of choosing which friendships to prio

We dig into the gender differences in why we show up the way we do, how we’re conditioned, why women so often carry the weight of everyone’s well-being, and why emotional presence is still seen as optional for a lot of men. We talk about why these conversations are essential in our own homes, and what sometimes keeps us from having them. We also explore how all of this shows up not just in families and relationships, but in leadership, corporate culture, and the bigger cultural conversation around change and staying connected. Some Ways to Support Us Wildcard – Men, Marriage, and Menopause: Navigating the Change Together Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp 20:51 What Do You Think About When You Wake Up? 26:58 Difference b/w men and women 43:36 Poop talk * Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Parenting Strategies and Acts of ServiceTodd and Kathy discussed their parenting experiences and strategies. Todd shared a story about his daughter asking him to pick up Chipotle for her, which he gladly did as an act of service. Kathy pointed out that this aligns with Todd’s love language of acts of service. They also discussed the importance of connecting with their children, even if it means doing favors for them. Additionally, they touched on the topic of not allowing their children to use DoorDash, as it costs money and they prefer to do things for them. Reframing Parenting and Building RelationshipsTodd discussed the importance of reframing the narrative around children’s involvement in their lives. He shared a personal experience where he initially hesitated to help his daughter with a task, but ultimately decided to support her. The conversation then shifted to the need for parents to strike a balance between supporting their children and teaching them independence. The group also discussed the challenges of parenting teenagers and the need to adapt to their changing needs. Todd introduced a new subscription called “Pebbling” on his Substack platform, which aims to provide small gestures of connection and affection to build relationships. Cultural Conditioning and Gender RolesTodd discussed the cultural conditioning and expectations that influence their daily routines and interactions. He highlighted how these expectations are deeply ingrained in their upbringing and gender roles, affecting their behavior and decision-making. Todd emphasized the importance of understanding these factors to improve communication and balance in their relationships. He also touched on the potential for defensiveness in men when confronted with perceived inadequacies, suggesting that this is a result of cultural conditioning rather than personal failure. Questioning Patriarchy and Systemic ChangeTodd discussed the cultural belief that white men should not be questioned, using the Brett Kavanaugh hearings as an example. He emphasized the need to question the system rather than individual men, and how this can lead to a better understanding and conversation. Todd also highlighted the difference between freedom and permission, using the example of a banker who felt liberated after the recent president’s election. He stressed that patriarchy is a system, not a personal issue, and that men should not take it personally when it is discussed. Todd also pointed out the importance of recognizing the contributions of others, regardless of gender, in achieving success. Todd’s Gratitude and Financial DiscussionsTodd and his partner discussed the importance of gratitude and understanding in their relationship. They talked about how they used to focus on gratitude to strengthen their bond and how this foundation helped them navigate conversations about money and other issues. Todd also shared his experiences with a coach who suggested having regular meetings to discuss their finances, which helped alleviate his money-related worries. They also discussed the need to shift from a mindset of individual strength to a collective approach, emphasizing the importance of considering each other’s needs and working together. Shared Respo

We talk about our oddly soothing obsession with rug-cleaning and lawn care TikToks—and what they reveal about care, restoration, and using your energy to make things better. We also get into the difference between seeking positive vs. negative attention, and why people sometimes act out when what they really want is to be seen and to belong. From ASMR satisfaction to deeper reflections on generosity vs. harm, we discuss showing up with intention and leaving things better than we found them. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Efficiency and Leadership MetaphorsTodd discussed the satisfaction of watching a rug cleaner and lawn care professional efficiently and effectively complete their tasks. He used these examples as metaphors to emphasize the importance of leaving things better than they were found, and to critique leaders who cause chaos. Todd suggested that such behavior may stem from an inability to get needs met or be seen, drawing parallels to children seeking attention. Leadership, Fear, and Positive ImpactTodd discussed the importance of leadership and the impact of fear and anger on individuals. He used the movie Gladiator as an example, comparing the characters of Marcus Aurelius and his son, played by Joaquin Phoenix. Todd emphasized the need for real-life experiences and the consequences of using power and fear to control others. He also touched on the theme of doing good in the world and the positive effects it can have on both the individual and others. Understanding Human Behavior Through Pop CultureTodd discussed the importance of connection and respect, using the Grinch and Miranda Priestly as examples. He explained that the Grinch’s desire to steal Christmas stemmed from his unmet need for love and support, while Miranda Priestly’s cold demeanor was a result of her position. Todd emphasized the use of pop culture references to illustrate human behavior and emotions, and encouraged the use of these examples to better understand others. Female Leadership and Personal GrowthThe discussion covers various topics, including the portrayal of female leadership in media, personal growth through adversity, and the importance of intention in one’s actions. Todd and his co-host reflect on the character of Miranda Priestly from “The Devil Wears Prada” and Monica Lewinsky’s resilience in the face of public scrutiny. They emphasize the value of learning from mistakes and developing post-traumatic growth. The conversation concludes with mentions of Kathy’s upcoming substack subscription offering and a brief discussion about ASMR videos.

Cathy and Todd talk about the collective anxiety so many of us are carrying right now, whether it’s our daily responsibilities or the heaviness of what we’re witnessing on a national or global scale. They discuss Cathy’s three personal guideposts—integrity, humility, and compassion—how these words help her navigate parenting, conflict, relationships, and the uncertainty of this moment, along with the pop culture icons that represent each one. They also take time to talk about the male loneliness epidemic: why it matters, how it’s showing up in culture, and what it means for connection, emotional health, and community. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Addressing Men’s Loneliness and AdaptationCathy and Todd discuss the loneliness epidemic among men, arguing that the phrase “men are lonely” should be reframed as “men are choosing to be lonely” to emphasize personal responsibility. He and his co-host explore ways men can adapt to changing cultural norms, including educational adjustments, vocational training, and redefining masculinity. They also promote their upcoming events, including a discussion on menopause for couples, emphasizing the importance of understanding and supporting partners through life changes. Finding Personal Stability in Challenging TimesCathy and Todd discussed the importance of personal words or symbols that can provide stability during challenging times. He shared his three words that he has used for years and believes they hold up under any circumstance. Cathy and Todd also encouraged others to find their own words that resonate with them, using the example of a Spanish word “trabahaba” as a personal preference. The discussion aimed to help individuals develop tools or mechanisms to maintain themselves during non-stable times. Cathy and Todd’s Car Wash MetaphorCathy and Todd discussed his experience with the car wash, emphasizing the feeling of protection and relaxation it provides. He used the car wash as a metaphor to explain his three words: protect, chaos, and car. Cathy and Todd expressed his desire to stay focused and move forward despite the overwhelming negativity and chaos in the world. He encouraged others to find their own metaphorical “car” to help them navigate through life’s challenges. Integrity and Wholeness in Pop CultureCathy and Todd discussed the importance of integrity, using examples from pop culture such as Atticus Finch and Forrest Gump. He emphasized the need to be true to oneself and to act with purpose and behavior. Cathy and Todd also mentioned the concept of wholeness, acknowledging all aspects of oneself and taking care of oneself. He used the character of Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation as an example of someone who embodies integrity despite their flaws. Cathy and Todd’s second word was humility, which he has previously discussed on the show. Humility and Personal Opinions in MusicCathy and Todd discussed the importance of humility, emphasizing that it allows individuals to be curious, listen to others, and learn new things. He also highlighted the need for humility in understanding the role one plays in the world and the importance of living in uncertainty. Cathy and Todd further discussed the influence of personal opinions on music and food, emphasizing that everyone has their own preferences. He concluded by expressing his love for pop music and its ability to evoke positive emotions and memories. Cathy and Todd’s Pop Culture and Life GuideCathy and Todd discussed his perspective on pop culture, specifically referencing a YouTube clip where Tarantino talked about his favorite movies. He also shared his thoughts on the TV show Yellow Jackets, expressing his disappointment with the third season but appreciating the finale. Cathy and Todd emphasized the importance of having an educated opinion, like a rock critic, and understanding the tone of a show. He also shared his guideposts for navigating life’s chaos: integrity, humi

Cathy and Todd talk about the double standard of managing other people’s emotions—how it’s both expected and criticized—and why this kind of emotional regulation is often misunderstood and overlooked. They also discuss menopause and why emotions can shift or intensify, and how learning what’s really going on can help the whole family better understand and respond, rather than dismissing what can be a really difficult time. Plus, they talk about The White Lotus, Yellowjackets, and talk about their upcoming conversation on navigating friendships—with our kids and within ourselves—on Wednesday, April 9th at Deerfield High School. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamp 14:25 The problem with “let them” Links shared in this episode: The Unseen Work of Regulating Others An Oprah Winfrey Special: The Menopause Revolution For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Regulating Conversations in Social Situations Cathy discusses the unseen work of regulating others in social situations, particularly within families. She explains how she often manages conversations to keep them harmonious, ensuring everyone feels included and tempering moods when necessary. This can involve subtle interventions like making eye contact, giving others a chance to speak, or even physically stopping someone from interrupting. While this work can be beneficial, Kathy acknowledges it can also be controlling and exhausting, leading to burnout. She notes that this behavior is both expected and criticized, creating a challenging dynamic for those who tend to regulate others. Todd’s Perimenopause Experiences and Emotional Changes Todd discussed his experiences with perimenopause, explaining that hormonal changes can lead to increased anger and emotional vulnerability. He shared that these feelings are temporary and can be managed with the right support. Todd also mentioned the importance of understanding and accepting these changes, rather than attributing them to societal stereotypes. Supporting Partners Through Menopause Todd discussed the challenges of supporting his wife during her menopause, emphasizing the need for understanding and empathy. He mentioned Oprah’s recent special on menopause and the importance of learning about the hormonal changes women experience. Todd also expressed frustration with the medical system, feeling he has to advocate for himself and do extensive research to get the right care. He highlighted the need for men to better understand and support their partners during this time. Addressing Personal and Societal Issues Todd discussed the challenges of dealing with personal and societal issues while maintaining a positive demeanor. He emphasized the importance of acknowledging and addressing these issues, even if they are uncomfortable or difficult to discuss. Todd also mentioned the need for emotional release and the impact of external factors on personal well-being. The team discussed the importance of open communication and the need to address topics that are often overlooked. Todd concluded by promoting the Team Zen parenting virtual community and the services of Jeremy Kraft.

Todd and Cathy discuss a recent episode of survivor, Cathy’s frustration at Todd’s double parking, as well as humility, masculinity, responsibility, and emotional support in relationships. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Growing Our Girls discussion about Restoring Our Girls Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Links shared in this episode: Survivor 48 – Jeff Probst Gets Emotional as Eva Opens Up For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Zen Parenting Radio: Humility & Survivor Todd and Cathy introduce episode 809 of Zen Parenting Radio, discussing potential topics including humility, masculinity, and responsibility. They promote Cathy’s new book “Restoring Our Girls” and mention upcoming virtual book club talks and in-person events. Todd also highlights their Zen Talk community and various micro-communities within Team Zen for parents seeking support. They then discuss a recent episode of Survivor, where a contestant named Eva had an intense emotional reaction during a competition, leading to Jeff Probst crying for the first time in 48 seasons. Joe’s Empathetic Actions in Survivor Todd discussed an emotional episode from the TV show Survivor where a contestant named Eva, who has autism, experienced a meltdown. Her teammate Joe, who was not on her team, helped calm her down by providing physical comfort and reassurance. Todd highlighted Joe’s actions as an example of masculinity, emphasizing that Joe’s caring and calm demeanor were more important than the game’s rules. Todd also suggested sharing this clip with children as a creative way to teach them about empathy and understanding. Todd’s Emotional Support and Survivor Todd expressed gratitude for the support he received from the team, emphasizing the importance of asking for and receiving help. He shared a personal experience of dealing with autism and the need for vulnerability. Todd also discussed the emotional impact of losing a pet and the importance of allowing oneself to feel and process emotions. He praised Jeff Probst’s ability to connect with the audience and share his own experiences as a parent. Todd concluded by highlighting the various aspects of the show Survivor, emphasizing its themes of teamwork, empathy, and human connection. Demonstrating Family Values Through Pop Culture Todd discussed the importance of demonstrating family values to children through pop culture examples and real-life experiences. He emphasized the need for parents to model humility and take responsibility for their actions, rather than blaming others. Todd also highlighted the need for children to understand that they have choices in life and should not blame others for their difficulties. The discussion also touched on the concept of humility and its importance in personal and professional life. Vulnerability and Humility in Relationships Todd discussed the importance of vulnerability and humility in personal and professional relationships. He emphasized that vulnerability is a sign of strength, as it allows for learning, taking responsibility, and seeking help. He also highlighted the negative impact of overpowering and win-at-all-costs mentality, which can lead to exhaustion and damaged connections. Todd encouraged the group to reflect on their own eulogies and consider qualities they want to be remembered for, rather than focusing solely on power and conquest. He defined humility as having a modest view of one’s own importance, recognizing the importance of learning from others, and acknowledging strengths and weaknesses without arrogance or insecurity. Todd’s Double Parking Frustration Todd expressed frustration about double parking outside Chipotle, which he felt was uncool and caused inconvenience to others. He also mentioned an incident where he was in a hurry to get food and blamed Chipotle for having a new dish that made him hungry. Kathy defended Todd’s actions, suggesting that he was just trying to get food quickly and that double parking was not a big deal. However, Todd insisted that double parking was not acceptable and that it was important to be

Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of raising kids who enjoy learning, emphasizing the need for a play-based learning environment and the importance of not overburdening children with academic tasks too early. They also highlighted the challenges faced by educators, including pressure from parents and curriculum requirements, and advocated for more creative and diverse teaching methods. The conversation also focused on parenting strategies, the role of teachers, and the need for parents to manage their children’s schoolwork, with a particular emphasis on understanding and supporting children’s identities and interests. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Growing Our Girls discussion about Restoring Our Girls Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamps 4:08 Atlantic Article16:08 Education System34:53 Breakfast Club 43:21 Be on your kids team ** Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Meeting summary with AI Companion now supports additional languages in preview. Learn More Raising Kids Who Enjoy LearningIn this episode of Zen Parenting Radio, Todd and Cathy discuss the importance of raising kids who enjoy learning. They explore the education system, focusing on the role of teachers and the impact of the system on children’s learning experiences. They also discuss parenting strategies and the need for parents to manage their children’s schoolwork. The conversation is based on an article from The Atlantic, which highlights the disengagement crisis among teenagers. The hosts emphasize the need for a play-based learning environment and the importance of not overburdening children with academic tasks too early. They also mention a book by Cathy Cassani Adams, “Restoring Our Girls,” which they encourage listeners to read. Education and Parenting ApproachesThe discussion focuses on education and parenting approaches. Todd and his partner emphasize the importance of allowing children to learn independently and fail, rather than constantly nagging or pressuring them. They argue that the purpose of education should be to develop critical thinking skills and a love for learning, not just to achieve high grades or get into prestigious schools. They criticize parents who intervene too much in their children’s education, suggesting that this can lead to disengagement and poor academic performance. The speakers also highlight the challenges faced by educators, including pressure from parents and curriculum requirements, and advocate for more creative and diverse teaching methods. Supporting Children’s Identities and InterestsTodd discussed the importance of understanding and supporting children’s identities and interests, rather than pushing them towards predetermined paths. He emphasized the need for parents to be on their children’s teams, providing guidance and support rather than pressure. Todd also highlighted the importance of intrinsic motivation and allowing children to explore their passions, rather than solely focusing on academic success. He shared examples of how different children have found their own paths and encouraged parents to redefine what success means for their children.

Todd and Cathy discussed their personal experiences and a Netflix miniseries called “Adolescence,”, focusing on issues such as gender dynamics, male rage, and online influences on young men. They explored the manosphere, its impact on society, and the importance of addressing digital sexism and male supremacy, while also examining family dynamics and communication styles between genders. They emphasized the need for understanding and addressing the experiences of boys and young men, encouraging open conversations about online content and emotions, and promoting positive relationships between genders. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Growing Our Girls discussion about Restoring Our Girls Fatherhood Full House Dark Side of the Moon Advance Time Stamps 8:21 Adolescence 13:00 Manosphere explained * 26:04 Generational comparison * 32:40 Men vs Women Comparison * 55:12 Boy Values ** Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Meeting summary with AI Companion now supports additional languages in preview. Learn More Quick recap Next steps Parents to have conversations with their sons about emotions and healthy ways to express feelings. Parents to discuss with their children what they are seeing online, especially related to the manosphere and bro culture. Parents to listen to and discuss media their children consume (e.g. Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson) to identify problematic content. Parents to affirm their sons’ value and worth beyond grades, sports, or achievements. Listeners to watch the Netflix series “Adolescence” and share their thoughts with Todd or Kathy via email. Interested listeners to sign up for upcoming Zen Parenting events (Zen Talk, Team Zen community for differently wired children, Women’s Circle). Interested fathers to join the Men Living weekly Full House meeting on fatherhood. Interested men to sign up for the Men Living weekend in Virginia in September. Summary Discussing Netflix Miniseries on AdolescenceThe podcast hosts Todd and Kathy discuss their recent experience of putting down their pet rabbit after 11 years, expressing the emotional difficulty of making that decision. They then introduce a Netflix miniseries about adolescence, focusing on an episode featuring a 13-year-old boy who stabs and kills a 13-year-old girl. The series explores issues such as gender dynamics, male rage, and online influences on young men. Todd and Kathy plan to discuss the episode and encourage listeners to watch the series, which they believe raises awareness about important societal issues. Manosphere: Digital Sexism and Male SupremacyTodd discussed the manosphere, a network of online communities focused on men’s issues, including masculinity, gender dynamics, and men’s rights. He highlighted key subgroups within the manosphere, such as men’s rights activists, MGTOW (men going their own way), pickup artists, and red pill communities. Todd emphasized the importance of addressing the manosphere, as it represents an extreme form of digital sexism and male supremacy. He encouraged parents to engage in discussions with their children about these issues, as there is an ongoing emergency that needs to be addressed. Family Dynamics and Emotional RepressionThe episode explores the complex dynamics of a family dealing with a troubled 13-year-old boy named Jamie, who has committed a serious crime. The therapist, a woman in her late thirties or early forties, faces challenges from both Jamie and the male guard as she attempts to assess the boy. The father’s approach to parenting, influenced by his own upbringing, emphasizes improvement over his father’s generation but still struggles with emotional expression. The mother is portrayed as bearing the emotional labor for the entire family, helping her husband, son, and daughter process their feelings while receiving little support herself. The discussion highlights the pervasive influence of the manosphere on young men and the cycle of emotional repression in families. Gender Differences in Communication StylesTodd and his wife discuss their different listening styles when th

Todd and Cathy shared strategies for staying informed without burning out from the world, and the need for personal well-being for continued engagement and making a difference. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Links shared in this episode: For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile Bullet points- Set Boundaries Allocate specific times for news consumption (e.g., 15 minutes in the morning or after work). Avoid checking the news right before bed to protect your mental space. Diversify Media Types Switch between reading, podcasts, and videos to prevent fatigue. Choose formats that feel manageable rather than overwhelming. “Good Enough” Knowledge You don’t need to know every detail about every issue. Aim for a solid understanding rather than full mastery. Balance Heavy News with Positive Stories Seek out hopeful, solution-focused reporting to counterbalance negative headlines. Actionable Steps When news feels overwhelming, channel that energy into something productive—donating, volunteering, or having meaningful conversations. Self-Care Recognize when you need to step away and give yourself permission to unplug without guilt. Be Mindful of Social Media Social media algorithms often amplify anxiety-inducing content. Consider limiting exposure or curating your feed to minimize stress. Discernment Ask yourself: Do I need to know this? How does this information serve me? This can help you focus on what truly matters. AI Summary Summary Parents’ Favoritism and Golden ChildTodd discussed a study by the American Psychological Association (APA) that analyzed data from over 19,000 participants, revealing that parents tend to favor their daughters, eldest children, and more conscientious kids. Todd and the other participants debated the reasons behind this preference, with some suggesting it might be due to the child being easier to parent or more emotionally connected. They also discussed the concept of a “golden child” and how it might be perceived as a way for parents to feel good about themselves rather than a reflection of the child’s actual qualities. Todd Discusses Jill Scott and PhilanthropyTodd discusses a song called “Golden” by Jill Scott, an R&B singer and actress known for her roles in Tyler Perry’s movies. He then shares positive news from the Good Good Good Newsletter, highlighting Travis Kelce’s donation of a mansion for homeless youth housing and Virginia lawmakers’ unanimous passage of a bill to educate the public about menstrual disorders. Todd expresses his preference for tangible philanthropic efforts and wonders about the implementation of the Virginia education initiative. Menopause Education and Self-AdvocacyTodd discussed the lack of education on menopause for medical professionals, highlighting the need for women to advocate for themselves and seek information on the topic. He shared his personal experiences and the challenges of finding reliable information, emphasizing the importance of self-education and seeking specialists when necessary. Todd’s Reflection on Mary Oliver’s PoemTodd discussed a Mary Oliver poem that resonated with him, focusing on the themes of worry, self-improvement, and health. He emphasized the importance of recognizing when worry is not productive and instead choosing to “go out and sing,” suggesting that this mindset shift can be practiced over time. Todd clarified that the poem does not advocate for complete elimination of worry, but rather encourages individuals to recognize when they are stuck in a cycle of worry and to break free from it. Todd Discusses Trust and CommunicationTodd discussed the importance of trust and open communication in relationships, particularly in the context of parenting. He emphasized that snooping or hiding information is not a healthy approach and can damage relationships. Todd also shared his perspective on the balance between staying informed and avoiding excessive worry or fear. He used examples from popular culture to illustrate his points. The conversation ended with a discussion on the potential benefits of open communication and the importance

We discuss Women’s History Month, emphasizing the importance of understanding women’s experiences and challenges in society. They explore various aspects of women’s safety, cultural norms, and the need for men to engage with and support women’s issues. We also highlight the significance of nurturing relationships, adaptability, and women’s role in holding memories and creating change, while encouraging men to be curious and empathetic towards women’s experiences. Links shared in this episode Meryl Streep Speaking Men Women Holding Things For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Women’s History Month: Engaging MenTodd and Cathy introduce episode 805 of Zen Parenting Radio, focusing on Women’s History Month in March. They discuss the importance of men engaging with women’s issues, referencing Meryl Streep’s comments on how women have adapted to a male-dominated culture. Todd and Gabby emphasize that understanding women’s experiences is crucial for everyone, not just women. They also mention the origins of Women’s History Month, which began as a week-long observance initiated by President Jimmy Carter in 1980 before expanding to a full month in 1987. Women’s Safety and Hypervigilance ChallengesTodd discussed the challenges faced by women in navigating public spaces and the responsibility that falls on them to stay safe. He highlighted the mental load of hypervigilance that women often have to bear and the expectation that they adapt to the unsafety of their lives. Todd also shared stories of women who have been abused, stalked, or terrorized, emphasizing the need for understanding and empathy. He suggested that the podcast could serve as a platform for men to understand the experiences of women and to speak up or take action when necessary. Todd also discussed specific cases, such as a professional tennis player who was stalked at a tournament, and the need for women to identify potential threats and take action to ensure their safety. Empowering Women Through Cultural AwarenessTodd discussed the importance of understanding and addressing the cultural norms that contribute to a lack of safety for women. He emphasized the need for men to listen to women’s experiences and share them with others, particularly with their sons, to help shift the conversation towards prioritizing women’s safety. Todd also highlighted the interconnectedness of the pyramid of rape culture, starting with seemingly benign comments and jokes, which can lead to more severe acts of violence. He suggested that reading his book, “Restoring Our Girls,” could help men better understand women’s experiences and perspectives. Todd also recommended watching certain movies, such as “The Hunting Ground” and a documentary about rape kits, to gain insight into the issues faced by women. Political Disruptions at Town Hall MeetingTodd expressed concern about political disruptions and censorship at a recent Idaho Republican Town Hall meeting, where a woman was dragged out for asking questions. He also shared a video clip from Myra Kalman’s book, “Women Holding Things,” emphasizing the need to focus on positive aspects while acknowledging the real-world impact of these issues. Holding Relationships for Personal GrowthTodd discussed the importance of holding and nurturing relationships, emphasizing that these connections are essential for personal growth and happiness. He contrasted this with the pursuit of power, money, and fame, which he believes can never fully satisfy an individual. Todd also highlighted the significance of humor and adaptability in navigating the challenges of life, particularly for women who have historically been expected to adapt to changing circumstances. He praised the work of Myra’s book and the concept of “holding” as a metaphor for the various responsibilities and relationships that women often undertake. Empowering Women’s Roles in FamiliesTodd discussed how women play a significant role in holding memories, rituals, and prov

Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of critical thinking, the avoidance of thought terminating cliches, and the need for clear roles and expectations within their team. They also expressed concerns about the current state of the administration and its impact on society, and highlighted the importance of adapting to changing cultural norms and supporting children’s spiritedness. Lastly, they emphasized the need for open and honest conversations, and encouraged others to join Team Zen and support children’s feelings of unfairness. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Time Stamps 13:47 Thought terminating cliches 15:42 Todd gets himself into trouble * 51:04 Fathering rebellious daughters * 53:47 Three parenting thought terminating cliches * This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile AI Summary Critical Thinking and Thought TerminationTodd and Kathy discussed the importance of critical thinking and the avoidance of thought terminating cliches in discussions. They highlighted how these cliches can be used to manipulate and control conversations, often leading to unhealthy debates. Todd also introduced a new partner, David Serrano, who is a personal financial advisor. The conversation then shifted to a video clip featuring Ricky Pearsall, a 49er who was shot in the chest, discussing forgiveness. Todd contrasted Ricky’s approach to forgiveness with the idea of keeping discussions open, emphasizing the importance of kindness and compassion in these discussions. Avoiding Thought Terminating ClichésTodd discussed the concept of thought terminating cliches and their impact on critical thinking and communication. He shared his experience with a recent incident where he used a thought terminating cliche, which led to a misunderstanding. Todd emphasized the importance of recognizing and avoiding such cliches in conversations to encourage critical thinking and open communication. He also suggested alternative ways to respond to thought terminating cliches, such as asking for more information or expressing willingness to learn. The discussion highlighted the need for effective communication and understanding in personal and professional relationships. Adapting to Changing Cultural NormsTodd and his team discussed the importance of adapting to changing cultural norms, particularly for men who are struggling to evolve and learn new ways of compassion and understanding. They also explored the use of thought-terminating cliches, which can hinder meaningful discussions and limit personal growth. Todd highlighted the need for individuals to question and challenge these cliches, especially when they are used to silence or dismiss others, particularly women. The team also discussed the importance of supporting children’s spiritedness and questioning, rather than enforcing compliance, and the need for parents to engage in open and honest conversations with their children. Navigating Life’s Unfairness With ChildrenTodd discussed the impact of a quote from his mother, born in 1925, who said “nobody ever said life was going to be fair.” He reflected on how this quote has influenced his parenting, particularly in relation to his daughter Skylar, a junior who qualified for the state finals in speech. Todd emphasized the importance of acknowledging and supporting children’s feelings of unfairness, rather than dismissing them with the idea that life is always fair. He also encouraged others to join Team Zen and highlighted Jeremy Kraft’s services as a painter and remodeler throughout the Chicagoland area.

Todd and Cathy talk with Cara Natterson MD and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, authors of This Is So Awkward, Modern Puberty Explained. We share experiences and motivations for focusing on puberty and sex education. They also discussed the differences between traditional and progressive education systems, the influence of pornography on societal attitudes towards body hair, and the challenges parents face in navigating conversations about puberty and sexuality with their children. The group agreed on the importance of open communication, maintaining physical affection, and promoting bodily autonomy and agency in these conversations. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Authors of “This Is So Awkward In the meeting, Todd and Kathy welcomed Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, the authors of “This is So Awkward,” a podcast focusing on helping parents navigate puberty and adolescence. Cara is a pediatrician and best-selling author, while Vanessa is an educator and founder of Dynamo Girl, a program supporting girls’ confidence through sports and puberty education. The discussion was informal and conversational, with the hosts and guests sharing personal details about their lives and families. Balancing Traditional and Progressive Education Cara and Todd discuss the differences between traditional and progressive education systems, particularly focusing on exams and emotional intelligence. Cara shares her children’s experience transitioning from a progressive high school without exams to college, noting their initial struggle but eventual adaptation. Less describes her children’s school’s approach to exams, which balances academic assessment with emotional well-being. The group agrees that schools can incorporate both traditional and progressive elements, but it requires a willingness to change established practices and consider new approaches to scheduling and student well-being. Harlan Cohen’s Advice and LA Fires In the meeting, Less and Todd discussed their acquaintance, Harlan Cohen, who provides advice on managing college life. Todd shared his experience of sending Harlan’s content to his daughter. The conversation then shifted to Cara, who shared her personal experience of living close to the mandatory evacuation zone during the fires in LA. She expressed the city’s struggle with leadership and the emotional response to the fires. Todd acknowledged the destruction and thanked Cara for her insights, mentioning that people around the country were thinking about her and donating to recommended charities. Puberty Education and Parental Roles Todd, Vanessa, and Cara discussed their experiences and motivations for focusing on puberty and sex education. Vanessa shared how her coaching experience led her to found a company focused on girls’ emotional development, and she discovered the need for puberty education after coaching elementary school girls. Cara, a pediatrician, started writing parenting books and was introduced to the topic of puberty through her work with American Girl. Both agreed that puberty education is crucial due to the earlier onset of puberty in girls. The conversation then shifted to the roles of mothers and fathers in discussing puberty and sex with their children. Cara emphasized the need for both parents to be involved in these conversations, as the traditional approach of separating boys and girls for such discussions is outdated and limiting. Maintaining Physical Affection in Children In the meeting, the participants discussed the importance of maintaining physical affection and connection with children as they grow older. They highlighted the need for parents, particularly fathers, to continue showing love and affection even as their children develop and may not want to be hugged or cuddled as much. The group also discussed the challenges of navigating changing bodies and the importance of open communication about these changes. They emphasized the need for parents to be aware of their children’s needs and to adapt their approach to maintain a strong connection. The conversation also touched on the cultural shift towards more open

Todd and Cathy reminisced about the evolution of telephones and shared their experiences with prank calls and shared phone lines. They also discussed the importance of open-mindedness, empathy, and understanding in human interactions, emphasizing the need to trust oneself and not rely solely on personal experiences or opinions. The conversation concluded with a reflection on the passage of time and the changing dynamics of family relationships. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Quick recap Evolution of Telephones and CommunicationIn the meeting, Todd and Cathy reminisced about their past experiences with telephones, discussing the evolution from rotary dials to cell phones. They talked about the busy signal, call waiting, and the introduction of Caller Id. They also discussed the shift from answering machines to voicemails, and the transition from writing down phone numbers to storing them in phones. They shared their experiences with prank calls, shared phone lines, and the use of 1-900 numbers. The conversation ended with a nostalgic look back at the days of holding phones in the bathroom or on stairs to maintain privacy. Jalen Hurts and Kendrick LamarTodd discusses two topics from the Super Bowl: Jalen Hurts’ management team and Kendrick Lamar’s halftime performance. He praises Hurts for his succinct explanation of why he works with many women, stating it gives him “an eye that I didn’t have.” Regarding the halftime show, Todd describes Kendrick Lamar’s performance as filled with messages and Easter eggs, encouraging viewers to research the meaning behind the songs and imagery. He acknowledges that while not everyone may enjoy or understand Lamar’s music, there is value in being curious and open-minded about it. Overcoming Personal Experience BiasTodd discussed the importance of open-mindedness and the dangers of personal experience bias or anecdotal absolutism. He emphasized that everyone sees the world through their own lens, but it’s crucial to be open to learning from others’ experiences. Todd also differentiated between being curious and being willing to learn, noting that curiosity alone doesn’t necessarily lead to growth. He used the example of parenting to illustrate how being open-minded can broaden one’s perspective on the world. The discussion concluded with a reflection on the challenges of maintaining open-mindedness, particularly when faced with differing opinions. Navigating Trauma and School RefusalTodd shared a personal experience about navigating his daughter’s school refusal, contrasting it with a friend’s approach of forcing the child to attend school. Todd expressed his belief that his method, which involved allowing his daughter to calm down and then return to school, was more effective in maintaining a connection and avoiding potential trauma. He emphasized the importance of understanding that trauma can manifest differently in individuals and the need for open-mindedness in decision-making. Todd also discussed his past work as a therapist at a children’s hospital, where he observed the limitations of behavior modification programs and the importance of considering various aspects of human behavior in therapy. Maintaining an Open and Curious MindsetTodd discussed the importance of maintaining an open and curious mindset, contrasting it with a narrow mindset. He suggested that one can identify their mindset by observing their breathing patterns and body signals. Todd also highlighted the significance of active listening and the challenges it presents in podcasting. He further elaborated on various behaviors that indicate a narrow mindset, such as defensive postures, blaming others, clinging to opinions, suppressing emotions, using distractions, and avoiding disconfirming data. Todd emphasized the need for continuous improvement in these areas to foster a more open and receptive mindset. Empathy and Understanding in InteractionsTodd discussed the importance of empathy and understanding in human interactions. He highlighted the tendency for people to dehumanize others and shut off their concern for others&#821

Todd and Cathy discussed the concept of “flooding the zone” in family dynamics and personal peace of mind, emphasizing the importance of critical thinking, discernment, and effective communication. They explored various strategies to manage the effects of flooding the zone, including being clear about core values, prioritizing and filtering information, and engaging with discernment. The discussion also touched on the importance of emotional regulation, resilience, and setting boundaries in parenting, as well as the role of physical touch and respect for children’s boundaries. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Meeting summary for ZPR Podcast Recording (02/03/2025) Quick recap Todd and Cathy discussed the concept of “flooding the zone” in family dynamics and personal peace of mind, emphasizing the importance of critical thinking, discernment, and effective communication. They explored various strategies to manage the effects of flooding the zone, including being clear about core values, prioritizing and filtering information, and engaging with discernment. The discussion also touched on the importance of emotional regulation, resilience, and setting boundaries in parenting, as well as the role of physical touch and respect for children’s boundaries. Summary Managing “Flooding the Zone” in FamiliesIn this episode of Zen Parenting Radio, Todd and Kathy discuss the concept of “flooding the zone,” a political tactic used to distract, confuse, or control the narrative. They explore how this tactic can be applied to family dynamics and personal peace of mind. Todd outlines six strategies to manage the effects of flooding the zone: being clear about core values, prioritizing and filtering information, pausing and reflecting, engaging with discernment, and educating and empowering oneself. The aim is to reduce the fear response and increase critical thinking skills to navigate overwhelming information and situations. Encouraging Critical Thinking in ChildrenTodd discussed the importance of critical thinking and discernment in decision-making, using the example of a Gen X parent’s concern about her daughter’s outfit. He emphasized that providing answers and solutions to children stifles their critical thinking abilities and suggested that parents should encourage their children to think through their choices and decisions. Todd also mentioned the potential for this behavior to manifest in families, often unconsciously, and suggested that it could be a political strategy. He concluded by referencing movie scenes where parents struggle with effective communication and decision-making with their children. Flooding the Zone” in Family DynamicsTodd led a discussion about the concept of “flooding the zone” in family dynamics, using scenes from various movies as examples. He explained that this term refers to when one family member dominates a conversation or situation, often with negative or critical comments. Todd used examples from “Lady Bird,” “The Breakfast Club,” and “Dead Poets Society” to illustrate how this behavior can manifest in different relationships. He emphasized that while these behaviors may come from a place of worry or concern, they can still be damaging and hinder effective communication within a family. Effective Communication With ChildrenTodd discussed the importance of effective communication with children, particularly in dealing with overwhelming situations. He emphasized the need to avoid criticizing or overwhelming children with multiple issues at once, instead focusing on one issue at a time. Todd also highlighted the importance of emotional regulation and validation, suggesting that parents should empathize with their children’s feelings and help them focus on one issue at a time. He further suggested that parents should offer comfort and support, rather than trying to solve all the child’s problems at once. Todd also touched on the concept of “parent flooding,” where parents, due to anxiety, tend to over-explain and talk too much, which can be overwhelm

Todd and Cathy discussed highlights from their recent Zen Parenting Conference, including various topics such as generational slang, societal challenges for boys and girls, and the importance of open communication with children. They reflected on the conference’s success, emphasizing the interactive nature of the event, the impact of guest speakers, and the significance of human connections. Todd also shared personal experiences and insights from the conference, expressing gratitude towards family, friends, and supporters while acknowledging the need for continued growth and adaptation in their initiatives. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Exploring Generational Slang EvolutionTodd and Kathy discussed their top 10 best moments from their recent Zen Parenting Conference, also known as Zen Con 25. They shared various slang terms used by different generations, including “no cap,” “busen,” “slay,” “glaze,” “8,” “locked in,” “aura,” “bet,” “cooked,” “mogging,” “sigma,” “gang,” “take the L,” “unk,” “facts,” and “finna.” Todd also shared his experience with his daughters, Skylar and Jc, and how they use these terms differently. The discussion aimed to help listeners understand the current slang used by different generations and how it has evolved over time. Zen Parenting Conference Success and FutureTodd discussed the success of the Zen Parenting Conference, highlighting the interactive nature of the event, including the use of cards on the tables for speakers and a “Good Intentions” wall. He expressed his gratitude towards the conference’s sponsors and attendees, emphasizing the positive impact they have on the world. Todd also mentioned the team Zen get-together, which has become a yearly tradition for many attendees, fostering strong friendships and connections. He suggested the possibility of organizing a smaller, more intimate event in the future, possibly at a retreat center. Todd’s Conference Experience and DiscussionTodd shared his experiences from a recent conference, highlighting the social aspects and the importance of human connections. He also mentioned a special moment dedicated to Millie, who was unable to attend due to health issues. Todd then discussed the format of the conference, emphasizing the need for more interaction and space for questions. He shared his experience of a session with Dr. John Duffy, where they discussed their respective books and the questions they received from the audience. Todd expressed satisfaction with the session, noting that it went beyond the initial topic and allowed for a more engaging and interactive discussion. Adaptation and Leadership in Changing WorldTodd and John discussed the challenges faced by girls and boys in adapting to a changing world. They emphasized the importance of adaptability, particularly for girls who have had to continuously adapt to a world predominantly run by men. They also discussed the need for boys to adapt to a culture that requires more compassion and understanding. Todd suggested that boys could adapt to new roles in industries such as teaching and social work, which are currently underrepresented. The conversation also touched on the role of parenting and leadership in shaping the next generation’s perspectives and behaviors. Todd and John encouraged parents to engage in conversations with their children about the messages they receive from various sources, rather than shutting them down. Navigating Beauty Standards and Media InfluenceTodd discussed the complexities of societal beauty standards and the influence of media on individuals, particularly young girls. He highlighted the confusion and pressure girls face due to the portrayal of beauty in media, such as makeup and clothing. Todd also touched on the importance of understanding the history of oppression faced by women and girls, and the need to adapt and overcome these challenges. He suggested that parents should engage in open and honest conversations with

Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of optimism, perseverance, and emotional intelligence in personal and professional development, using examples from their experiences and current events. They also highlighted the impact of independent filmmakers and digital platforms on the entertainment industry, and expressed optimism about the growing understanding and research on menopause and women’s health. Lastly, they emphasized the need for expanding one’s awareness and perspective, and the importance of self-compassion and nurturing relationships in personal growth. Time Stamps 10:39 The Long Game/Shannon Watts 21:12 Returning TV Shows 30:41 Menopause/ Womens Research 34:06 Emotional Intelligence on the rise 37:50 Adaptability 47:32 Todd’s reflections on MenLiving weekend For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Summary AI Summary Zen Con 25 and Personal ExperiencesTodd and Kathy discussed the upcoming Zen Con 25 conference, emphasizing its importance for those feeling heavy or needing a shift in perspective. They also touched on their personal experiences with Zoom and Google, expressing frustration over the lack of control over their accounts. Todd mentioned a past men’s retreat and hinted at a reflection from it. They also discussed the possibility of Glenn Phillips playing certain songs at the conference. Lastly, they encouraged anyone interested in attending the conference to reach out, assuring that financial issues would not be a barrier. Embracing Optimism and Perseverance in ChallengesTodd discussed the importance of optimism and perseverance in the face of challenges. He emphasized the need to celebrate small wins and not give up when faced with setbacks, drawing parallels from his experiences as a parent and his interest in mindfulness and self-awareness. Todd also highlighted the importance of focusing on the long game, using examples from history and current events to illustrate how progress is often slow but ultimately leads to positive change. He concluded by encouraging the audience to maintain optimism and to recognize the small victories that contribute to larger goals. Independent Filmmakers and TV ShowsTodd discussed the impact of independent filmmakers and digital platforms on the entertainment industry. He highlighted how these platforms have made it easier for independent filmmakers to reach their audiences and share unique experiences. Todd also shared his excitement about upcoming TV shows, including “Severance,” “White Lotus,” “Yellow Jackets,” and “Stranger Things.” He emphasized the importance of these shows in exploring themes of connection and disconnection among people. Todd also mentioned that he and his family enjoy watching these shows together, as a way to connect and discuss their experiences. Optimism in Women’s Health ResearchTodd expressed optimism about the growing understanding and research on menopause and women’s health. He highlighted the historical lack of research on women’s health, with many pharmaceuticals and healthcare inventions being developed with only men in mind. Todd gave an example of Ambien, a sleep medication, which was initially tested on men and later found to require a different dosage for women due to their slower metabolism. He noted that this oversight led to car accidents and other issues for women. Todd’s optimism stems from the increased focus on women’s health and the recognition of the need for more research and understanding. Emotional Intelligence and Human ConnectionTodd and his co-host discussed the importance of emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and self-awareness in parenting and personal development. They highlighted the need for human connection and the potential for AI to enhance human interaction, but also emphasized the importance of human touch and compassion. The conversation also touched on the need for adaptability and resilience, particularly in leadership, and the necessity of being creative in the face of challenges. They also mentioned their upcoming conference and a book they co-authored, “Restoring Our Girls.” Expandi

Todd and Cathy discuss Mel Robbins book “Let Them”, the importance of nuance in self-help concepts. They also touched on the importance of trust and communication in relationships, and the concept of “letting go” in personal relationships. Lastly, they shared their thoughts on various TV shows and movies, and emphasized the importance of self-awareness and emotional expression in relationships. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Summary Zen Parenting Conference and Self-Help Todd and Kathy discussed the upcoming Zen Parenting Conference, which has been taking up most of Todd’s time. They also touched on the topic of self-help, noting its resurgence and the repackaging of existing ideas. Todd expressed his appreciation for self-help but emphasized the importance of nuance, using Mel Robbins’ book “Let Them” as an example. He mentioned that he plans to write a substack about the topic and acknowledged that the concept of “let them” has been around for a long time, even though it’s now being called a “theory.” Zencon 25 Event and Parenting Tips Todd discussed the upcoming Zencon 25 event, which starts a week from Friday, January 24th. He mentioned that Glenn Phillips, the lead singer of Toad the Wet Sprocket, will be performing an acoustic set and sharing stories. Todd and Kathy will also be on stage for a couple of hours before the musical act. Todd encouraged everyone to attend the event, even offering to help with ticket costs for those who are interested but facing financial issues. He also discussed a section from a book called “Restoring Our Girls,” which highlights phrases to avoid when dealing with daughters. Todd emphasized the importance of being mindful of the language used when interacting with children. Building Trust in Sensitive Conversations Todd discussed the importance of trust and communication in relationships, particularly when dealing with sensitive topics such as sexual assault. He emphasized the need to question negative myths and stereotypes about girls, and to create a non-judgmental environment where they feel comfortable sharing their experiences. Todd also highlighted the importance of not shutting down conversations with phrases like “I don’t believe you,” and instead encouraging open dialogue. He concluded by briefly touching on the topic of “I told you so,” which he described as a potentially damaging phrase in relationships. Balancing Self-Reflection and Conflict Todd discussed the concept of “let them” from a self-help book, emphasizing the importance of allowing others to be themselves and not trying to control their feelings or actions. He noted that while this approach can be beneficial, it should not be taken to an extreme where it leads to passivity or avoidance of conflict. Todd also highlighted the need for personal growth and self-reflection, suggesting that one’s own reactivity and aversion to conflict should be investigated. He used the example of a yoga class to illustrate the balance between allowing others to have their own experiences and ensuring their safety. Balancing Letting Go in Relationships Todd and the speaker discussed the concept of “letting go” and its application in personal relationships. They agreed that while the idea is not new, it can be easily manipulated or oversimplified. They also discussed the importance of self-awareness and nuance in applying this concept, emphasizing that it’s not about being hyper-focused on others’ experiences but about finding a balance. They touched on the idea that sometimes, letting go means not trying to fix or control a situation, but rather allowing it to unfold naturally. The conversation also highlighted the need for individuals to explore what feels right for them, rather than blindly following a concept. Sesame Street Characters and Interstellar Todd discussed his favorite Sesame Street characters, including Oscar the Grouch and Snuffleupagus, and how they represented different emotions. He also shared his thoughts on the character Murray, who he believes could st

Todd and Cathy discussed Cathy’s most recent Substack which were 10 quotes that impacted Cathy. The conversation covered a range of subjects including the balance between joy and sadness, the value of kindness and compassion, and the significance of critical thinking and role modeling in conversations. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Meeting summary with AI Companion now supports additional languages in preview. Learn More Meeting summary for https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82667986075?pwd=RlhaajhRWDIrZXAwai8zWkx2UWk4QT09 (01/06/2025) Quick recap Todd and Kathy discussed their upcoming podcast episode and conference, while sharing personal experiences and reflections on various life topics. Throughout the meeting, Todd emphasized the importance of authenticity, self-reflection, and finding joy in everyday experiences, drawing from philosophical concepts and personal anecdotes. The conversation covered a range of subjects including the balance between joy and sadness, the value of kindness and compassion, and the significance of critical thinking and role modeling in conversations. Next steps Conference attendees to register for Zen Con 2025 within the next 2.5 weeks. Readers of “Restoring Our Girls” to leave 5-star reviews on Amazon or Goodreads if they found the book helpful. Sweetie to continue writing her weekly substack, ensuring it’s published on Fridays. Todd to review and potentially adjust his commitments, considering which tasks are truly necessary. Podcast listeners to consider sharing their art, writing, or teaching, as it may positively impact others. Summary Podcast Episode and Upcoming ConferenceTodd and Cathy discussed their upcoming podcast episode, which will be their 797th. They also talked about their last conference, Zen Con 25, which is 18 days away. Todd encouraged anyone who can attend to join them, mentioning that they have scholarships available. They also discussed their vision boards and how they use them to set intentions. Kathy shared her moment, “Starting the Year with Empowering Quotes,” where she shared 10 quotes she thought were worth sharing with her subscribers. They also briefly discussed their recent holiday celebrations and how they had to readjust to normal life after the festivities. Embracing Different Parts of SelfTodd discussed the importance of understanding and accepting different aspects of oneself, using the concept of ‘parts work’ and ‘internal family systems’. He emphasized the need to acknowledge and love these parts, rather than denying or repressing them, as they often act in protection or distraction. Todd also shared a quote by Jane Hirschfield about the unpredictability of life, using the example of a rock garden in Kyoto where one cannot see all the rocks from a single viewpoint. He suggested that this unpredictability can be both negative and positive, and that there is always something we cannot foresee. Todd concluded by emphasizing the need for humility in understanding our own lives and the lives of others. Finding Joy Amidst Grief and SadnessTodd discussed the importance of understanding paradox and the balance between joy and sadness. He shared personal experiences of feeling joy in the midst of grief and at funerals, highlighting the unique energy and connection present in such situations. Todd also reflected on the challenges of organizing funerals and the need for a suitable venue to accommodate the necessary events. He emphasized the importance of finding a balance between the binary nature of joy and sadness, and the need to appreciate the moments of joy amidst difficult situations. Kindness, Compassion, and Humility in LifeTodd discussed the importance of kindness and compassion in making a difference in people’s lives. He shared a personal experience of receiving a meaningful quote from a listener, which he still looks at daily. Todd emphasized the value of humility and understanding one’s place in the world, drawing from a Zen saying that encourages embracing both the specialness and ordinariness of a person. He concluded by highlighting the significance of balancing ambit

Todd and Cathy discussed various TV shows, movies, and practices to improve mental and emotional well-being, including gratitude lists, morning pages, and yogic adjustments. They also emphasized the importance of prioritization, effective task management, and creating playlists for personal enjoyment and staying connected with others. Lastly, they touched on the concept of meditation, the importance of initiating conversations with daughters, and the need for nonjudgmental and engaging interactions. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Meeting summary for zpr (12/30/2024) Quick recap Todd and Kathy discussed various TV shows, movies, and practices to improve mental and emotional well-being, including gratitude lists, morning pages, and yogic adjustments. They also emphasized the importance of prioritization, effective task management, and creating playlists for personal enjoyment and staying connected with others. Lastly, they touched on the concept of meditation, the importance of initiating conversations with daughters, and the need for nonjudgmental and engaging interactions. Summary Avoiding Disappointment and Classic SitcomsTodd prepares to record a podcast episode discussing ideas for avoiding disappointment in the new year. Instead of making resolutions, Kathy suggests 10 enjoyable practices that can improve life. Before that, they pay tribute to the recently deceased Linda Lavin from the show Alice and former President Jimmy Carter. Todd and Kathy reminisce about 1970s and 80s sitcoms like Alice that reflected more realistic family situations. They fondly recall memorable catchphrases from those classic shows that audiences eagerly awaited. TV Shows, Movies, and Parenting ConferenceTodd discussed various TV shows and movies, including Hill Street Blues, Hawaii 5-0, and The A-Team. He also mentioned his boss sending stone crabs every year and the catchphrase “make it so” from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Todd then promoted the upcoming Zen Parenting Conference, encouraging listeners to invest in themselves and their families. He also shared his thoughts on eccentric director Boz Luhrman and his dislike for musicals, except for Wicked and Blues Brothers. Lastly, Todd mentioned a movie he watched called Bad Christmas Moms. Improving Mental Well-Being PracticesTodd discussed various practices to improve mental and emotional well-being. He suggested starting the day with a gratitude list, a brain dump through morning pages, and writing letters from love. He also recommended a yogic adjustment called’shoulders back’ to improve posture and breathing. Todd emphasized the importance of these practices in shifting one’s mindset and promoting positivity. He also mentioned his intention to share more about these practices in his substack. Todd’s Emotional Flu and MemoriesTodd discusses crying while watching several movies due to being sick with the flu. He reflects that grief and sadness can get “stuck” in the lungs according to Eastern medicine beliefs. Todd attributes his susceptibility to illness partly to unresolved emotions needing release, in addition to exposure to germs. He and his friend reminisce about an amusing “Pants on the Ground” performance from American Idol. Promoting Mindfulness and Self-Care PracticesTodd discussed various practices to promote mindfulness and self-care. He emphasized the importance of taking breaks, such as lying on the ground to release stress and gain positive energy. He also highlighted the value of gratitude texts, which can be sent to express appreciation for others. Todd also stressed the importance of weekly opt-outs, allowing individuals to reassess their commitments and prioritize their well-being. He used the metaphor of pebbling, likening the act of sending texts or gifts to offering love and support. Todd encouraged the practice of recognizing and opting out of obligations that may not be necessary, promoting a sense of freedom and choice. Eisenhower Matrix and Vision BoardsTodd discussed the importance of prioritization and managing tasks effectively. He introduced the Eisenhower Matrix, a tool for catego

Todd and Cathy discussed the movie “Elf,” covering its production, casting, and memorable scenes. They explored the film’s themes, characters, and cultural significance, while also playing a trivia game and sharing personal reflections on the Christmas spirit. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Order-Restoring our Girls Attend ZenCon 25 Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys

Todd & Cathy discussed the release of Cathy’s book “Restoring Our Girls,” which focuses on challenges faced by teenage girls. Todd shared insights on making P, B, & J’s, parenting, particularly maintaining connections with his daughters as they mature and become more independent. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Pre-Restoring our Girls Register for the Workshop Attend ZenCon 25 Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Cathy’s Book Release and Workshop Todd’s Frustration and Daughter’s Schedule Todd shared his frustration about making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, specifically the clumpiness of the jelly. He learned from someone that putting the jelly on the peanut butter makes it easier to spread. He then shifted the conversation to his frustration with his daughter’s busy schedule, particularly during her junior high school years. He acknowledged that he tends to forget how busy his daughter is during this time. Todd also mentioned that he had been venting to Cathy about his frustration. He then read a paragraph from a book, which he felt was written specifically for him on that day. Navigating Parental Relationships and Rejection Todd discussed the challenges of maintaining a relationship with his daughters as they mature. He acknowledged that he sometimes feels hurt when they prefer to spend time with friends or alone rather than with him. Todd recognized that he has not experienced rejection in the same way as others, having had a series of relationships since he was 12. He suggested that this lack of experience with rejection has made it difficult for him to handle his daughters’ independence. Todd also noted that parenting can be messy and harder to define when it comes to understanding his daughters’ preferences. One-Way Connections in Parenting Discussed Todd discussed the concept of one-way connections, particularly in the context of parenting. He emphasized the importance of providing support and stability to children without expecting anything in return. Todd also touched on the idea of letting children grow and develop their own relationships, even if it means they pull away from their parents at times. He shared personal experiences with his daughters, noting that they eventually return, but in a more mature and independent way. Todd’s Parenting Strategies and Boundaries Todd discussed his approach to maintaining connections with his children, emphasizing the importance of small, one-way gestures such as sending texts and pictures throughout the day. He shared an example of how he surprised his daughter with a quiet morning and a new shower curtain for her bathroom. Todd also highlighted the importance of setting boundaries and expectations for his children, such as informing him about their whereabouts and following through with commitments. He expressed his belief that these small actions and expectations contribute to a sense of security and comfort in the home. Empathy and Perspective in Parenting Todd discussed the importance of understanding and empathizing with children’s experiences, rather than judging them. He emphasized the need for parents to have a wider perspective on the world and to see things from their children’s point of view. Todd also highlighted the importance of self-compassion, self-forgiveness, and self-acceptance in parenting. He shared personal anecdotes about his daughters, illustrating how they sometimes need time to catch up with their parents due to their busy lives. Todd concluded by stressing the need for parents to be open to their children’s experiences and not to judge them for being busy. Planning Family Activities and Games Todd shared his enthusiasm for planning family activities, emphasizing his preference for setting up games and movie nights with specific rules and timings. He also discussed his stress around these activities, suggesting that he should let go a bit and allow others to join in at their own pace. Todd also introduced a game called “Cones of Dunshire” which he had learned from his daughters and was eager to play. The game involves rolling dice, building civilizations, and accumulating cones to win. Zen Con 25

Cathy & Todd discussed the release of Cathy’s fifth book, the importance of allowing oneself and one’s children to express their true selves, and the challenges of parenting. They also shared personal stories about their daughters and the reasons behind children unloading their emotions at night. Lastly, they emphasized the importance of emotional release, creative problem-solving, and maintaining stability for children. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Pre-order Restoring our Girls Register for the Workshop Attend ZenCon 25 Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Summary Cathy’s Book Release and Workshop In this episode of Zen Parenting Radio, Todd and Cathy discussed the upcoming release of Cathy’s fifth book, “Restoring Our Girls,” which is set to be released on December 10th. They also announced a free workshop on December 16th for those who have purchased the book, focusing on how to have conversations with daughters. Todd emphasized the importance of the book and the workshop, stating that it would be a valuable resource for parents seeking to understand their daughters better. The episode concluded with a reminder about the last in-person conference scheduled for January 24th and 25th, with details to be provided later. Wicked’s Themes and Personal Expression Cathy & Todd discuss the musical Wicked and its themes of conditioning and conformity. Cathy shares a personal story about dressing up as Dorothy for Halloween multiple years as a child, and how other boys’ reactions made her consider conforming to more stereotypically masculine costumes. This leads to a broader discussion about the importance of allowing oneself and one’s children to express their true selves rather than conforming to societal expectations. They also briefly mention their experience watching the Wicked movie and how it relates to these themes. Leading in Parenting and Communication They explored the idea of leading as a parent, including allowing children to lead and taking the initiative to reconnect with them as they grow. They also discussed the challenges of having real conversations with children, particularly when they come to their parents late at night. Todd emphasized the importance of validating children’s feelings without agreeing with them, and the potential for children to sense their parents’ emotions even when they are not explicitly expressed. Finding Acceptable Communication Methods They shared a personal story about their daughter who preferred writing letters to expressing her feelings verbally. This method allowed her to share her emotions in a less overwhelming way. They emphasized the importance of finding a method that works for both parent and child, rather than insisting on a specific way of communication. They also highlighted the need for parents to be open and accepting of their children’s unique ways of expressing themselves, rather than imposing their own expectations or preferences. Understanding Children’s Emotional Unloading They discussed the reasons behind children unloading their emotions at night. They emphasized that it’s not due to a desire to be annoying, but rather a genuine emotional release after a day of heightened feelings and stress. Cathy also highlighted the importance of understanding that these unfiltered emotions may not always reflect the child’s full reality or perspective. They used a personal anecdote to illustrate this point, where a mother’s concerns about her daughter’s school experience were not entirely accurate. They concluded by suggesting that these emotional releases are akin to unloading baggage, allowing the child to see things more clearly. Emotional Release and Parenting Strategies They discussed the importance of emotional release and creative problem-solving in parenting. Cathy emphasized the need for parents to be adaptable and flexible, rather than rigidly adhering to a single approach. They also highlighted the significance of setting boundaries and understanding the needs of children, using examples from his own experiences with his daughters. Todd encouraged parents to be creative in their interactions with their children, sugge

This week’s podcast features a chat with three high school seniors from Hinsdale Central, just outside of Chicago. Zara, Rami, and Molly have started Chase Light, a group focused on breaking down the stigma around mental health and offering support to their peers. They were inspired by the community support seen in Alcoholics Anonymous and want to help other teens deal with stress and mental health issues that are common in high school. They talk honestly about how adults often don’t quite understand what teens need when it comes to mental health and give some ideas on what could be better. They also discuss how smartphones and social media add to the stress, making this a really relevant conversation for both parents and teens. Tune in to hear their stories and the positive impact they’re aiming to have. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Quick recap The group discussed the challenges faced by young men in expressing their emotions and the societal pressures that contribute to these behaviors. They also explored the impact of social media on their lives, with Zara sharing her personal experience of deleting social media for six months and Rami using it as a motivation. Lastly, they shared techniques for managing stress and anxiety, with Zara emphasizing the importance of planning, taking breaks, and listening to their kids. Next steps Parents to practice active listening and avoid being overbearing when their children share concerns or struggles. Students to explore healthy ways to manage stress, such as planning their day, taking breaks, or using music to relax. Parents to prioritize self-care while supporting their children’s mental health and well-being. Summary Overcoming Emotional Vulnerability in SocietyZara shared her personal journey of overcoming her initial reluctance to discuss her feelings and how it led her to create an organization to help others navigate similar situations. She highlighted the challenges faced by young men in expressing their emotions, attributing this to societal expectations and the need to appear tough. Zara’s friends, Molly and Sarah, agreed with her observations, noting the difference in vulnerability between young men and women. Todd, the facilitator, acknowledged the challenges faced by both genders and emphasized the importance of emotional vulnerability in connecting with others. The group agreed that societal expectations and conditioning play a significant role in shaping these behaviors. High School Pressure and CompetitionTodd and Zara discussed the pressure and competitiveness they feel in their high school community, particularly regarding college applications. Zara shared her personal experience of feeling pressure to attend a prestigious college, despite her parents not being overly concerned about her choice. She also mentioned the influence of social media, such as TikTok, where students share their college acceptances and extracurricular activities, creating a sense of competition. Todd acknowledged the cultural and societal factors contributing to this pressure, and Zara agreed that it was not just coming from parents or school advisors, but also from peers and social media. Social Media Perspectives and UsageIn the meeting, Zara, Rami, and Todd discussed their perspectives on social media. Zara expressed her belief that social media can be both positive and negative, depending on the platform and how it’s used. She also shared her personal experience of deleting social media for six months during Covid, which made her the happiest person on earth. Rami, on the other hand, uses social media as a motivation to improve himself. Todd agreed with both perspectives, noting that social media can be both fun and toxic. The group also discussed the hypocrisy of parents telling their kids not to use social media while they themselves use it. Zara suggested that parents should have conversations with their kids about social media rather than punishing them for using it. The group also discussed the importance of having activities and scheduling things in their day to avoid addiction to social media. Managing Stress and Music Preferenc

Cathy & Todd discussed the concept of Spiral Dynamics, a theory about human evolution and societal development, and its application in parenting and relationships. They emphasized the importance of balance, flexibility, and empathy in understanding different stages of development and maintaining a strong value system. They also touched on the interconnectedness of values and the need for critical thinking. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Exploring Spiral Dynamics and Evolution Todd discussed the concept of spiral dynamics, a theory about how societies and individuals evolve over time. He mentioned that he based his new book on this idea, focusing on the yellow level of evolution, which he hopes society is currently reaching. Todd also shared his personal connection to the topic, mentioning that he listened to others process through the complex theory. He briefly touched on the idea of colors representing different levels of evolution, but did not delve into specifics. Exploring Spiral Dynamics and Compassion Todd discussed the concept of Spiral Dynamics, a model that helps understand human behavior and evolution. He explained that people often revert to earlier stages of development, such as the survival mindset (Beige) or tribal understanding (Purple), depending on their circumstances. Todd also mentioned the importance of compassion in understanding these different stages. He ended the discussion by briefly touching on the last stage, Turquoise, which represents a holistic and interconnected mindset. Exploring Color Associations and Personalities Todd discussed the different personality traits associated with various colors, focusing on red, blue, and orange. He described red as assertive, powerful, and impulsive, often associated with authoritarian leaders. Blue, he explained, is about valuing order, authority, and structure, and is common in religious leaders and conservative politicians. Orange, he noted, is about enthusiasm, playfulness, and a desire for excitement. Todd also shared his personal experiences and connections to these colors, using Taylor Swift songs and personal anecdotes to illustrate his points. Balancing Human Nature in Society Todd discussed the importance of balance in society, focusing on the different aspects of human nature represented by the colors red, blue, orange, and green. He highlighted the potential pitfalls of each color, such as the shadow of green, which can lead to idealism versus practicality and exclusion in the name of inclusion. Todd emphasized the need for a more inclusive and empathetic society, but also acknowledged that there is still work to be done to achieve this balance. Adapting Parenting Styles for Change Todd discussed the importance of adapting and being flexible in parenting, drawing from the concept of yellow in the context of spiral dynamics. He emphasized that parenting styles should evolve to meet the changing needs of children, rather than relying on traditional methods. Todd also introduced a book, “Restoring Our Girls,” which explores the values of yellow and how they can be applied in parenting. He highlighted the need for integrating different concepts and understanding that multiple things can be true at once. Todd also touched on the importance of empathy and innovation, using the example of the TV show “Law and Order” to illustrate the balance between structure and adaptability. Critical Thinking in Polarized Society Todd discussed the importance of critical thinking and its role in preventing abusive relationships, high control groups, cults, and conspiracy theories. He emphasized that critical thinking is not solely about education, but also about being able to see things from multiple perspectives and understanding other people’s viewpoints. Todd also highlighted the current polarized society and how certain groups benefit from pushing people apart. He mentioned his past experiences with philosophy majors who claimed that business schools teach what to think, while philosophy teaches how to think. Balancing Perspectives in Parenting and Relationships Todd discussed the challenges of pare

Todd and Cathy emphasized the importance of understanding and connecting with daughters, using Cathy’s upcoming book on parenting girls as a guide. They shared personal experiences and strategies for maintaining strong relationships with children, highlighting the need for physical presence, understanding, and adapting communication styles. They also stressed the importance of respecting individual needs and preferences, and encouraged the use of humor and creativity in communication, while also promoting community and optimistic perspectives. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys AI Summary Meeting summary with AI Companion now supports additional languages in preview. Learn More Meeting summary for ZPR Podcast Recording (11/11/2024) Quick recap Cathy’s Book on Parenting GirlsTodd discusses the importance of Cathy’s upcoming book on parenting girls, even though the current focus is on issues facing boys. He emphasizes that girls’ struggles should not be overlooked based on data suggesting they perform better academically. Cathy’s book highlights the value “Connect with me” by addressing daughters’ desire to feel understood and less alone. Todd praises the book for capturing Kathy’s natural parenting wisdom beyond just summarizing previous advice. Navigating Parent-Child Connection ChallengesTodd discussed the challenges of maintaining a strong connection with daughters in a society filled with distractions. He introduced a book as a roadmap for staying connected, both energetically and conversationally. Todd emphasized the importance of understanding the natural process of differentiation in children, which can be both heartbreaking and liberating for parents. He shared a personal experience of trying to connect with his daughter, highlighting the need to consider the child’s perspective and not force connection. Todd also introduced the concept of “When I know you’re thinking of me, I feel less alone,” suggesting that parents should find creative ways to check in with their children, even when they seem distant. Supporting Overwhelmed Teenagers With PresenceTodd discussed his approach to connecting with his 17-year-old daughter, who was feeling overwhelmed. He emphasized the importance of physical presence and actions, rather than just words, to show support and understanding. He shared an example of how he laid down on the floor to be at her level, and offered to do small tasks like washing her sheets to show his availability. Todd also highlighted the importance of not imposing one’s own needs or expectations on the child, but rather understanding and respecting their boundaries. He concluded by suggesting that asking the child what support means to them can be a valuable approach, even if they may not have a clear answer. Adapting Communication Strategies With ChildrenTodd emphasized the importance of adapting communication strategies with children, particularly when they respond negatively. He suggested that parents should not judge themselves harshly for not achieving immediate results, but instead, try different approaches. Todd also highlighted the value of maintaining connections with others, even in challenging times, and encouraged the use of humor and creativity in communication. He shared a personal experience of spending quality time with his daughter, Skylar, and suggested that parents should be mindful of their children’s needs and interests. Respecting Individual Needs in RelationshipsTodd discussed the importance of understanding and respecting individual needs and preferences in relationships, particularly in the context of parenting. He shared his own experience with his daughter, who prefers to read in the morning to feel less alone, and emphasized the need to consider the other person’s perspective rather than imposing one’s own. Todd also highlighted the importance of asking questions and avoiding judgments, and suggested that conversations about personal issues should be approached with sensitivity and at appropriate times. He encouraged the audience to try different approaches and ad

Todd and Cathy bring calm in the context of an upcoming election. They discussed the importance of self-compassion, its three components, and the concept of mindfulness, emphasizing that self-compassion is not about letting oneself off the hook, but rather about treating oneself with kindness and understanding. They also highlighted the challenges of balancing emotions and planning for the future, and the importance of self-care and mindfulness in managing these emotions. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Zen Parenting Radio: Calm and ElectionIn this episode of Zen parenting radio, Todd and Kathy aim to bring some calm to their audience, particularly in the context of an upcoming election. They decided to record a 30-minute podcast of calm, without any sales pitches or discussions about their conference or book. The podcast was recorded on November 2nd and scheduled to be released on November 5th. The hosts also experimented with a study music track in the background, but were unsure if it would be effective. Self-Compassion and Radical AcceptanceTodd discussed the importance of self-compassion, particularly in times of anxiety or overwhelm. He shared his personal experiences with fear and anxiety, noting that he tends to freeze up and become paralyzed when faced with fear. Todd emphasized the need for self-compassion to keep moving forward despite these feelings. He also acknowledged that he tends to compartmentalize, while his colleague tends to be more spongy. Todd stressed the importance of radical self-acceptance and awareness of one’s situation to make shifts towards feeling more. He also noted that not everyone experiences self-criticism or wishes to be different, and that some people may be more concerned with external challenges. Self-Compassion: A More Stable SenseTodd discussed the concept of self-compassion, its origins in research by Kristen Neff, and its distinction from self-esteem. He highlighted that self-esteem often relies on external validation and comparison, whereas self-compassion is more accepting and understanding, especially in times of failure. Todd also emphasized the importance of self-compassion in fostering a more connected and supportive environment, both for oneself and others. He concluded by noting that self-compassion provides a more stable sense of self-worth over time, which is particularly relevant for parents dealing with their children’s struggles. The Power of Self-CompassionTodd discussed the importance of self-compassion and its three components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. He emphasized that self-compassion is not about letting oneself off the hook, but rather about treating oneself with kindness and understanding, which allows for clearer thinking and better decision-making. Todd also highlighted the potential negative effects of self-judgment and the importance of acknowledging and directing attention away from the inner critic. He concluded by stating that self-compassion enables individuals to recognize their mistakes and make different choices, leading to personal growth and development. Mindfulness: Awareness and Self-Kindness JourneyTodd discussed the concept of mindfulness, describing it as being aware of one’s surroundings and body without judgment. He emphasized that it’s a lifelong journey and not about achieving a specific state, but rather about being present in the moment. Todd also highlighted the importance of self-kindness when one’s mind wanders, and the need to recognize that one doesn’t have to stay in a negative state. He used personal experiences and practical examples to illustrate his points. Balancing Emotions and Planning for FutureTodd discussed the challenges of balancing emotions and planning for the future. He acknowledged the difficulty of staying calm amidst uncertainty, such as the upcoming election, and the need to prepare mentally for potential outcomes. Todd also shared his personal experiences of hyperventilating due to worry about missing important moments with his children. He emphasized the importance of self-care and mindfulness in managing these emotions. The conv

Todd and Cathy emphasized the importance of supporting children through their challenges, the need for parents to understand their children’s perspectives, and the significance of civic engagement, particularly voting. They also discussed the importance of critical thinking, questioning authority, and engaging with adults, while expressing concern about the current political climate and the need for honesty and transparency. Lastly, they shared their experiences and perspectives on leadership, the importance of creating spaces for real conversations, and the need for people to listen more and understand the potential impact of political changes on their lives. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack A Little Bit Culty – A Conversation with The Vow’s Sarah Edmondson and Anthony “Nippy” Ames – Podcast #675 Time Stamps (00:09:30) ZPR Moment- “I Don’t Know” (00:21:14) Civil engagement (00:43:31) Talking to women ** (00:48:52) Join Team Zen (00:51:11) Attend ZenCon 25 Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Summary Supporting Children and Civic EngagementTodd emphasized the importance of supporting children through their challenges, suggesting that this support should start early in their lives. He also discussed the need for parents to understand their children’s perspectives and not impose their own expectations. Todd further highlighted the significance of civic engagement, particularly voting, and expressed concern about the complacency of younger generations. He acknowledged that the current time is different from his own youth, but still believes that young people should be more engaged in the voting process. Voting, Women’s Rights, and ChangeTodd discussed the importance of voting and the impact of recent election cycles on the direction of the country. He expressed his concern about the erosion of women’s rights and the need for change. Todd also shared his personal experience of being a woman and working with women, emphasizing the importance of reproductive freedom and overall health. He encouraged others to register to vote and participate in the democratic process, despite differing opinions. Embracing Uncertainty and Honest ParentingTodd expressed his concern about the current political climate and the need for honesty and transparency. He emphasized the importance of valuing uncertainty and not pretending to have all the answers. Todd also discussed the concept of “Zen parenting,” which involves being honest with children about not knowing everything and encouraging them to find their own solutions. He highlighted the power of saying “I don’t know” as a way to promote self-discovery and decision-making in children. Embracing Uncertainty in ParentingTodd discusses the importance of acknowledging that one does not have all the answers, especially when it comes to parenting and understanding children’s perspectives. He emphasizes staying curious, demonstrating humility, and giving children the freedom to find their own path instead of imposing one’s own expectations. Todd plays clips from movies to illustrate his point about not pretending to know everything. The overall message is to be open-minded, avoid assumptions, and embrace the uncertainty of not having all the answers when it comes to raising children. Encouraging Critical Thinking and EngagementTodd discussed the importance of critical thinking and allowing children to form their own opinions, rather than imposing one’s own beliefs. He emphasized the need for children to learn to trust themselves and process information from various sources. Todd also touched on the topic of civil engagement, using the example of the upcoming election. He suggested that parents should engage their children in discussions about current issues, such as gun control, in a child-appropriate manner. Todd stressed the importance of finding common ground and understanding different viewpoints, rather than resorting to binary thinking. Critical Thinking and Respectful DignityTodd discussed the importance of critical thinking and questioning authority, emphasizing that it doesn’t mean disrespecting e

Todd and Cathy explored the concept of love bombing, its connection to cults and abusive relationships, and the importance of teaching children to recognize and navigate such situations. The conversation also touched on Todd’s experience at an event addressing domestic violence, Cathy’s upcoming book, and the significance of intuition and boundary-setting in relationships. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack A Little Bit Culty – A Conversation with The Vow’s Sarah Edmondson and Anthony “Nippy” Ames – Podcast #675 Time Stamps (00:03:15) What we’re talking about (00:09:45) What is an anxiety spiral? (00:32:20) First steps * (00:50:20) Join Team Zen Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys

Cathy & Todd explore anxiety spirals sharing personal experiences and strategies for managing anxiety, including mindfulness, grounding techniques, self-soothing methods, and healthy distractions. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Time Stamps (00:03:15) What we’re talking about (00:09:45) What is an anxiety spiral? (00:32:20) First steps * (00:50:20) Join Team Zen Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys

Todd & Cathy shared the pervasive nature of comparison culture in various aspects of life. They emphasized the importance of self-awareness, individuality, and understanding the underlying motivations behind one’s actions and desires, rather than just focusing on external validation. They also discussed the impact of social media on comparison culture, the importance of empathy and kindness, and the fleeting nature of happiness derived from material possessions. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Time Stamps (00:04:55) Todd’s airport guy story (00:52:57) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 (00:16:00) Comparison (00:25:06) Todd owns his stuff * (00:53:04) Join Team Zen Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys

We discuss the importance of self-understanding, real conversations with children, and the impact of labels on their development. Discussions also focused on mental well-being, resilience, and personal growth in children, emphasizing the need to allow them to explore their own interests and make decisions. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Time Stamps (00:01:45) Critical thinking and investigating dis-information (00:14:47) “Know Me”- The Danger of Labels (00:52:57) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 (00:53:04) Join Team Zen Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys

Dr. John Duffy joins us as we take questions from Team Zen regarding teens experimenting with drugs and alcohol, lack of motivation, screen time, time management, and challenges with youth sports coaches. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Some Ways to Support Us Attend ZenCon 25 Pre-order Restoring our Girls Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Time Stamps (00:00:00) ZenCon25 Announcement (00:12:00) 16 year old son experimenting with drugs/alcohol (00:25:07) 20 year old son stuck and unmotivated (00:34:23) ZenCon 25, Restoring Our Girls, Team Zen (00:39:40) 17 year old daughter struggling with screentime and time management (00:51:35) 14 year old son challenges with his baseball coach (01:10:04) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys

Todd and Cathy discuss the paradox of feedback as well as the 8 C’s of IFS (Internal Family Systems) For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:03:46) Movie “feedback references” (00:06:38) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack– Feedback (00:13:06) The basic premise of IFS (00:19:40) ) Join Team Zen (00:20:35) The 8’C (00:39:22) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast

Todd and Cathy discuss cell phone use in schools, and the challenges of navigating through difficult situations such as elderly care and relationship dynamics. They also highlighted the importance of effective communication, teamwork, and self-care in dealing with such situations. Lastly, they discussed the top 10 common obstacles families face when dealing with aging parents. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Join Team Zen Want a more intimate relationship? Why “Noticing” is Essential for Understanding and Intimacy in Your Relationship. Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:05:15) Cell phones in schools (00:12:32) You, me and we (00:27:32) Join Team Zen (00:33:17) Top 10 common obstacles families face when dealing with aging parents (00:47:49) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Here are 10 common obstacles families face when dealing with aging parents: Communication Challenges: Aging parents may struggle to communicate their needs, either due to cognitive decline, pride, or fear of burdening their children. Similarly, adult children may find it difficult to navigate sensitive conversations about care and long-term planning. Role Reversal: Children taking on caregiving responsibilities can create tension, especially when aging parents resist acknowledging the shift in roles, leading to frustration or conflict. Financial Strain: The cost of healthcare, assisted living, or home care can create financial pressure on families. Sorting out financial responsibilities between siblings and parents adds another layer of complexity. Healthcare Decisions: Families often face tough decisions about medical treatments, palliative care, or end-of-life wishes. These can be emotionally draining, especially when family members disagree on the best course of action. Emotional Stress: Caring for an aging parent can lead to burnout, depression, or guilt, especially if one family member is the primary caregiver. The emotional toll can affect relationships with siblings, partners, and even the aging parent. Cognitive Decline: Conditions like dementia or Alzheimer’s can make caregiving more challenging, as family members navigate memory loss, confusion, and changes in personality or behavior. Living Arrangements: Deciding whether parents should age in place, move in with a family member, or transition to assisted living can be difficult. Families may struggle to find a solution that respects the parent’s wishes while ensuring their safety. Sibling Disagreements: Family members often have different opinions on how to care for aging parents, which can cause conflict. This can be exacerbated if responsibilities are not evenly shared or if old family dynamics resurface. Legal and Ethical Considerations: Managing power of attorney, wills, and healthcare directives can become complicated, especially if these documents are outdated or incomplete. Ethical concerns about autonomy and consent also come into play with aging parents. Time Constraints: Many adult children are juggling their own families, careers, and responsibilities, which can make it difficult to devote the necessary time and attention to caregiving. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy or resentment. 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast    

Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of self-understanding, open communication, and healthy boundaries in parenting and relationships. They also highlighted the value of shared experiences, respect, and emotional regulation in building strong relationships. Additionally, they touched on the appeal of various forms of media and the need for ongoing conversations about family history and challenges. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Join Team Zen Want a more intimate relationship? Why “Noticing” is Essential for Understanding and Intimacy in Your Relationship. Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:02:35) Yes, Boys Can (00:09:40) Family secrets ZPR Moment Sign up for Cathy’s Substack (00:19:50) 7 Things- Boundaries (00:27:57) Friends (00:29:58) Dark times (00:33:36) Be themselves (00:40:44) Difficult conversations (00:43:43) They fought (00:49:46) Make light of each other’s quirks (00:53:25) Join Team Zen (00:53:36) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast    

Todd and Cathy discuss the concept of milestones in parenting, emphasizing the importance of allowing children to develop at their own pace and encouraging them to step out of their comfort zones. They shared personal anecdotes about their own children’s developmental differences and their experiences with spiders, cicadas, and flies. They also highlighted the challenges and milestones of parenting, including the transition of children into school and beyond, and the need for parents to provide support and connection in the face of various pressures. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Join Team Zen Want a more intimate relationship? Why “Noticing” is Essential for Understanding and Intimacy in Your Relationship. Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:04:37) Critters (00:13:55) Navigating Milestones (00:16:45) Pirates of the Caribbean (00:19:00) Trust your gut (00:22:37) Join Team Zen (01:02:00) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast    

Todd and Cathy discuss projection and why sometimes we are projecting, sometimes we are reacting, sometimes we are sharing our feelings, and sometimes it’s a mix of all three! They also discuss why the first day of school (from Kindergarten through college) is filled with both joy and fear, and reminisce about how the saxophone is used in so many 80s movie scores and pop music. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Join Team Zen Want a more intimate relationship? Why “Noticing” is Essential for Understanding and Intimacy in Your Relationship. Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:00:43) Phil Donahue RIP (00:02:10) Saxophone talk (00:06:45) Back to School ZPR Moment- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack (00:13:50) What is projection (00:26:14) Join Team Zen (00:29:54) Jeff Foster’s take (00:47:12) Projecting in parenting (00:51:30) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast    

Cathy and Todd discuss the new language around healthy masculinity, inspired by Vice Presidential nominee Tim Walz, and they explore how men can embrace traditional masculine traits while also valuing and expressing compassion and kindness. They talk about the small happy things—those small, happy moments that not only boost our mood but also improve our overall perspective. They also discuss strategies for supporting men, women, boys and girls when it comes to mental wellness, emphasizing the importance of a balanced approach. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Join Team Zen Want a more intimate relationship? Why “Noticing” is Essential for Understanding and Intimacy in Your Relationship. Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:03:50) Phones in schools (00:02:08) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack– Our Girls Want to Feel Inspired (00:19:04) Small happy things (00:30:37) Join Team Zen (00:32:36) What is “tonic masculinity”? (00:51:42) Our parts and the role of self-awareness ** (00:57:58) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast    

Cathy and Todd talk about anxiety and why it’s a completely normal part of life. They explain how anxiety isn’t just a response to stress but a built-in part of our survival system. Using the movie Inside Out 2, they show how anxiety, like the other emotions in the film, helps us navigate uncertainty and stay safe. They also offer practical tips for managing anxiety and discuss how accepting and understanding it can lead to greater adaptability and resilience. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Join Team Zen Male Menopause: The Three Obstacles Midlife Men Face and How to Overcome Them Want a more intimate relationship? Why “Noticing” is Essential for Understanding and Intimacy in Your Relationship. Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:10:52) Acknowledging Anxiety- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack (00:13:30) Body intelligence & anxiety ** (00:20:09) The second arrow (00:27:27) Join Team Zen (00:28:22) Ways to help our kids regulate (00:49:09) Anxiety can be a messenger (00:59:03) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast    

Cathy and Todd discuss life trajectories, emphasizing that success isn’t confined to a single right path, way, class, major, or job. They highlight the importance of children trusting their instincts and their own knowledge as they go through life. They also explore how resilience and adaptability are developed through every setback, and how we can help our children feel supported and trusted as they navigate their experiences. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources It’s OK | Hyundai Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:05:44) Life trajectories (00:13:25) You will see how the pieces fit together (00:16:30) Hyundai commercial (00:19:48) Good challenge vs bad challenge ** (00:21:02) Whiplash ** (00:26:09) Join Team Zen (00:26:30) Take care of your own business (00:30:05) What ZPR is all about ** (00:35:40) Make home safe (00:37:50) Life trajectories part 2 (00:52:37) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast    

Cathy and Todd discuss cognitive labor, which is the mental effort and worry of anticipating needs, considering options, making decisions, and tracking progress in the home and with kids. They explore how it’s connected to emotional and invisible labor and stress the importance of ongoing discussions to reduce resentment and ensure everyone feels seen and understood. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Other Emotional Labor Podcasts Women Aren’t Nags, We’re Fed Up- Podcast #495 Real-Time Emotional Labor- Podcast #440 Emotional Labor is an Unpaid Job- Podcast #405 Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:10:48) What can I do to help? (00:21:03) Being responsible for other people’s happiness (00:26:30) Join Team Zen (00:31:29) The lies told to boys and men ** (00:32:24) Why Todd doesn’t do it ** (00:53:39) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast    

Todd and Cathy emphasize the importance of being present, thinking critically, and doing in parenting, and discussed the concept of human archetypes and the need to focus on the present moment. They also shared personal anecdotes about balancing ‘being’, ‘doing’, and ‘thinking’, and discussed the challenges of societal expectations and the importance of living authentically. Lastly, they addressed underlying issues in relationships, the importance of taking action, and the need to process emotions healthily. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:00:28) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack– Being, thinking, and doing (00:06:22) Todd’s “Be, Think, Do Balance” (00:14:58) Todd’s “Be’er” shows up (00:27:22) Cathy’s “Be, Think, Do Balance” (00:57:32) The spiritual bypass ** (00:59:41) Comparing pain (01:00:55) We are a hedonistic society that believes we should be suffering. (01:02:04) Join Team Zen (01:02:35) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast    

Cathy & Todd discuss why our kids feel pressure to conform, focusing on when it’s developmentally appropriate and when it may be cause for concern. They also discuss how adults feel the same pressure to conform, emphasizing why relating to our kids, rather than judging them, is more impactful for their learning and for maintaining our connection. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:00:36) Join Team Zen (00:04:59) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack– The pressure to conform (00:20:18) Taking care of ourselves (00:21:25) Spanx and Skims ** (00:33:58) Flair (00:43:45) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast    

Todd and Cathy discuss the importance and value of difficult conversations in partnership and parenting, emphasizing the two extremes: complete avoidance or overbearing insistence on discussing things. They explore how to find a middle ground—being approachable and open, but also willing to set boundaries and agree to expectations. This approach allows for a home environment where real conversations are encouraged and practiced, and where everyone feels heard and comfortable sharing. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:08:24) Setting an infrastructure for difficult conversations (00:18:47) Talking ourselves out of having difficult conversations (00:14:05) Difficult Conversations Sign up for Cathy’s Substack (00:29:33) Join Team Zen (00:38:35) Finding the balance ** (00:41:12) If react immediately, I shut her down, if I wait too long, I shut me down) ** (01:02:48) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast    

Todd and Cathy discuss what brings us joy when we are young versus what brings us joy when we are older. They also discuss agreements that can be made within a relationship to keep communication open and healthy. They share why it’s important to appreciate who we are and where we are now, rather than trying to return to a certain time, body, or mindset that may not align with who we have become. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Donate to MenLiving Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:01:00) Grief & Time- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack (00:07:13) Relationship Agreements (00:22:40) Novelty & Ordinary (00:25:26) Join Team Zen (00:32:44) Incredible hulk (00:34:49) Levels of joy ** (00:45:02) Body Awareness ** (00:48:40) Normal Eating ** (00:50:48 ) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast    

Todd and Cathy discuss who’s in the inner circle of the Brat Pack and who is Brat Pack adjacent based on their memories from the 80s and their experience with Andrew McCarthy’s Brat Pack Documentary. They discuss how growth and self-awareness play significant roles in the documentary, and why some individuals evolve faster than others. They also touch on Inside Out 2 and address a listener question about shifting generational cycles. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Donate to MenLiving Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:00:43) Join Team Zen (00:01:20) Chain breaker in a family system (00:10:20) Brats (00:54:29) Inside Out (01:00:58) Panic Attacks** (01:01:32) Parts work ** (01:03:20) uncomfortable and uncomfortable emotion ** (01:05:42) Pride- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack (01:06:14) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast    

Cathy and Todd discuss how women are socialized to become smaller and more restricted, and then begin to unwind and unfold this process once they become aware of what’s happening. Cathy provides an overview of this in her Substack titled ‘Women Unfolding,’ explaining why this is the image she sees in her mind when she works with women. Todd shares his version of men unfolding, and they discuss songs that have parentheses in the title and debate whether or not those parentheses are necessary. For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com. Resources Join Team Zen Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Donate to MenLiving Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 Time Stamps (00:13:33) Todd’s perception of cheese sauce on nachos * (00:00:52) Join Team Zen (00:17:27) Women Unfolding- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack (00:20:29) Folds in regards to on our kids report cards * (00:29:40) Folding in as if we’re still children * (00:32:20) The hole (00:44:15) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800 3 Ways to Support Us Sign up for Cathy’s Substack Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Other Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile This week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Resources Ask Us Anything If You’ve Come this Far Podcast