Who Am I Really?

Neal’s search didn’t take off until he was 66 years old! He got a DNA kit for his birthday and within months he was in touch with his paternal family. Ohio’s open original birth certificate help him learn his birth mother’s name, but he couldn’t find a single maternal connection during his search. This episode was just about to be wrapped up to go live, when Neal circled back to share some big news.Read Full TranscriptNeal:                           00:01               He didn’t really remember very much about my biological mother and that’s a, that’s a search that continues to this day. Um, and sort of like, uh, everything that was fast and relatively easy about finding my genetic father and his family has been difficult about trying to find my genetic mother.Voices:                        00:35               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon:                       00:47               This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis. And on today’s show is Neal. He called me from right here in Rockville, Maryland. Neal search didn’t take off until he was 66 years old. He got a DNA kit for his birthday and within months he was in touch with his paternal family. Ohio’s open original birth certificate policy, helped him learn his birth mother’s name, but he couldn’t find a single maternal connection during his search. This episode was just about to end when Neal circled back to share some big news. This is Neal’s journey. Neal was raised in bay shore, New York on Long Island. He figures his parents must’ve done a good job with helping him to feel okay with his adoption because he always knew and his parents openly pointed out friends in the neighborhood who were adopted too. He had one younger sister also adopted and his parents selected a special day to commemorate their adoptions.Neal:                           01:50               Valentine’s Day became sort of our day to commemorate uh, our adoption of me and my sister. And uh, we just kind of, they just kind of made a big deal about it and uh, they were actually greeting cards at the time that, uh, I had a message about being accepted as an adoptee.Damon:                       02:15               Oh really? That’s interesting. I didn’t know that. That’s kind of cool.Neal:                           02:19               Yeah, it is.Damon:                       02:21               Neal says he and his sister got along fine when they were kids, but they kind of realized in adulthood that they were different people and they went their separate ways. In terms of inquiring about their adoptions Neal said his sister was much more into peppering their parents with questions about her adoption than he was about his. We agreed that sometimes young men just aren’t as interested in their adoptions as young women are. So that begs the question, when did he take an interest in understanding his roots?Neal:                           02:50               Things, things moved along? Uh, college marriage, kids and that whole thing. And uh, my mother died in the year 2000. My father passed away in 2012. And uh, my youngest sister died last year in 2017.New Speaker:             &n

Serena told me she had a similar experience to what a lot of adoptees feel, even though she grew up with her birth mother. I’m always talking about empathizing with others, so I wanted to hear her story. Serena told me about her birth on a Native American reservation in Arizona then her mother moving away. She was adopted by her father when he married her mother, but Serena never knew her biological father. When her paternal family called to say her birth father was ill, she was too stunned to act quickly, so she only met his relatives at his chaotic funeral. Take a moment to listen to the parallels between what I’ll call Serena’s “adoption adjacent” experience and those of other adoptees.Read Full TranscriptSerena:                        00:02               I don’t think I recognized the severity of his sickness. I didn’t… At that age, you still think you’re invincible and I had never had anyone that was even close to me die. So to have, you know, these people who are part of my paternal family, but I’ve never, I’ve never known call me and sort of dropped this sort of bomb. I think I just kind of froze.Voices:                        00:35               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I in mind?Damon:                       00:47               This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Serena. She called me from Virginia shortly after I met her at the Maryland Pod-casters Association meetup. She told me she had a similar experience to what a lot of adoptees feel, even though she grew up with her birth mother. I’m always thinking about empathizing with others. So I wanted to hear her story. Serena told me about her birth on a native American reservation in Arizona. Then her mother moving away, she was adopted by her father when he married her mother, but Serena never knew her biological father. When her paternal family call to say her birth father was ill, she was too stunned to act quickly, so she only met his relatives at a chaotic funeral. Take a moment to listen to the parallels between what I’ll call Serena’s adoption adjacent experience and those of other adoptees. This is Serena’s as journey.Damon:                       01:49               Serena was born on the Navajo reservation in Fort Defiance, Arizona, but her mother was only 18 at the time living with a friend because her own mother and grandmother had moved to Colorado. Her mother wanted to stay behind to finish high school at Window Rock, another Navajo reservation. That’s when sheSerena:                        02:09               met a boy, fell in love. Got Pregnant. She was… My mom is so freaking smart. She is God. She puts anything, anything at all I I’ll ever do to shame. She gave birth to me and then very shortly after flew across the country and came to the DC area and went to… And did her undergrad at Georgetown. I think something like two or three weeks after after giving birth because I was a little late. I was in the care of my grandmother for think my first two years out in Wyoming while my mom was sort of got her academic career started here and you, it’s a rough transition being from a reservation and living out west and you know, coming out here, it’s a, it’s a pretty big culture shock, you know, coming from a very small place where a lot of the people you see are, are like you or related to you or you know, you have a common culture to someplace like DCDamon:                       03:23               from other established herself in the DC area. Serena, when she was three years old, her birth father John moved to Alexandria, Virginia too and they made a go at being a young family togetherSeren

Rick’s birthmother relinquished him into foster care where he was terrorized as a toddler. He was eventually adopted around age 6 but always felt like an outsider. At 16 years old he reunited with his maternal family who informed him his mother was institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia. Their reunion didn’t go at all how he had hoped. When he found his birth father, the man was incarcerated but welcoming. Eventually, Rick distanced himself from his birth father and when he tried to reconnect, it was too late.Read Full TranscriptRick:                            00:03               Like this was part of her schizophrenia, you know, so she believes that she had another child. I’m an only child. She believed that she had a girl that was taken away from her too. So this is a lot for a 16 year old boy just to take in, you know, I’ve never been around anybody mentally ill. I’ve never experienced this. And now this was my…. This is my mom.Voices:                        00:35               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I mind?Damon:                       00:47               This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Rick. He called me from Central Illinois. Rick tells the story of being terrorized in foster care as a toddler and challenges in childhood, connecting with his adopted family. Those early issues drove his desire to find his birth mother, but when he did, her mental state wouldn’t allow them to connect. Rick hadn’t focused on finding his birth father at all, but when he did, the man was surprisingly receptive. They had a falling out and Rick tried to reconnect later, but he learned it was too late, but that news wasn’t even the worst news of that day. Rick’s doing just fine now, but he’s been through a lot. This is Rick’s journey… Rick says, adoption was never really talked about in his house growing up, but even before his adoption, he says he spent the first years of his life with his mother and grandmother.Rick:                            01:50               I have kind of a unique experience. I wasn’t adopted as an infant. I was actually with my mother and grandmother for about the first year of my life and then was placed into foster care. And so my earliest memories are not of my adopted family or my biological family, but a foster family. Um, and those weren’t very good memories at all. Um, and so these things fester throughout life and, uh, just kinda came up and got triggered and you know, it was one of those things I needed to talk about but didn’t really feel like I could talk about my adopted parents pretty much, you know, just wanted me to pretend like they were my parents. And always was that way and there was no reason to believe that it ever wasn’t.Damon:                       02:38               I wonder if you could take me back just to your memories of foster care. Do you mind just sharing a little bit about what, what was so traumatic about it?Rick:                            02:47               Uh, sure. My earliest memories that the most traumatic thing for me, I had a bed wetting problem as a kid, which I was in foster care. I would have been too, you know, so, um, so I don’t really think of bedwetting problem at two is really an issue, um, but it, it was to them. So it was, there’s a lot of shaming around that and there were times I was locked in rooms and they were pounding on the door and saying, this is the Boogie man and, you know, just really trying to scare me and put a lot of fear into me. And I just, I never understood why or how somebody could treat a child that way. You know what I mean? The worst experience was, uh, around

Born in the Panama Canal Zone, Stephanie was adopted by a US military family stationed there in 1961. She was never told she was adopted, but she always knew there was a family secret. When she was 43 years old Stephanie discovered the secret was her own adoption.Because she was born in the Panama Canal Zone, her adoption records were available through a Freedom of information Act request (FOIA). Unfortunately, that didn’t lead to a reunion with her biological mother. After 13 years, she has never heard from her biological mother.Fortunately, she reunited with her birth father and his entire family has warmly welcomed her. Stephanie says “For the first time I know how it feels to look into the eyes of those whom I share a connection with. That cannot be described with words.”The post 029 – A Lifetime of Interveners Saw Me Through appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.Stephanie (00:04):Cause you know, I never really looked at it that way before to say, wait, nobody uses the same pen to write something over a six year period. And it's like, and then all of a sudden, you know, it's like I've now I've just got to go. I'm thinking to myself my whole life fundamentally has been a lie.Voices (00:30):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon (00:41):This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Stephanie. She was never told she was adopted, but she says she always knew there was a family secret. In her early forties she discovered the secret was herself and the woman who raised her was not her mother. While she felt vindicated that she had been correct, the news turned her world upside down as she looked in the rear view mirror to see a trail of deception right down to the notes in her baby book. Her reunion with her birth mother didn't go as she had hoped. Fortunately, things were very different in the reunion with her birth father, Stephanie shares, how she located her birth father's roommate in the military and how he was one of the many supportive interveners throughout her life. Here's Stephanie's journey.Stephanie (01:34):I always had this feeling that I, something wasn't right.Damon (01:40):That's Stephanie. Before I even had a chance to ask her a question about her journey, she was already going deep on one of the interesting parts. So I just listened.Stephanie (01:49):You know, like there was some sort of secret in my family, something wasn't right and I kept coming back to I don't fit here, you know, and I have friends that I've had for 40 years and they always say, have you taught, you been talking about this adoption thing for ever. So the way that this happened is, um, we had family here for Christmas in 2003, um, a toothbrush was left in the house and it was a room that my adoptive mother or at that point, my mother stayed in. So we clarified that it actually belonged to her. And I said, well, this is my chance to actually find out if I, what I have believed for a very, very long time is true. And I found a lab in Canada that could extract DNA from it and sent it off and waited and waited.Stephanie (02:44):And about six weeks later, and um, April of 2004, this letter arrives and my spouse opened it and I got home from work. I didn't know it had arrived. We sat down and there was kind of this nervous tension. We had a friend staying with us and finally she said to me, so a letter arrived. And I'm like, well, okay, are you going to tell me? And I will always remember the way that it sounded to me in that response as "the toothbrush wasn't your mother." Because that's kind of the words you hear when something like this happens. You always hear it a certain way and remembered a certain way. And I was like, and I jumped up and it was like I knew it. I always knew this was true. Oh my God.Damon (03:29):And you were 43 years old when you found out.Stephanie (03:32):I was 43 years old when I found out I was adopted.Damon (03:35):Stephanie didn't use the commercially available DNA tests that most of us think of when we're looking for answers about our biological past. She had swiped a toothbrush that was left behind by her adoptive mother. I asked Stephanie what that confirmation of her lifelong suspicion had changed for her.Stephanie (03:52):Well, I would simultaneously say everything and nothing, so it changed everything about my life and nothing about my kind of background. So it was sort of a mixed bag of things all at the same time because it kind of vindicated this sense from me that I always knew that there was some thing in my family that didn't fit and that there was a secret and there was all these things going on and all these dynamics. I just didn't know it was me.Damon (04:26):Wow.Damon (04:28):Okay. Now let's go back to the beginning of Stephanie's story. She was born in the Panama Canal Zone, adopted

Brittney, from Connecticut, grew up knowing but not closely connected with her biological mother . After a bombshell moment where her mom revealed the truth about her paternal parentage, Brittney felt like she was left to clean up the mess of lies. She was conflicted about searching for her birth father because of her loyalty to her adoptive father. Brittney said she was glad she searched because what she learned filled a hole she didn't even know was in her. This is Brittney's journey. Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Gabe called me early one morning from Salt Lake City, Utah. Gabe is a black transracial adoptee, and a transgender man from a family and community that didn't know how to talk about who he is as a person. After a tough time coming out to his adoptive family, Gabe's reunion revealed his birth parents' secret that their children had a full blooded brother they hadn't known about. Now, Gabe finds himself questioning where he belongs as he doesn't feel like he fits in either family. This is Gabe's Journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Andrie, who lives in Duluth, Georgia, learned she was adopted as a kid, then started coping with the rejection she felt by making up stories about her birth parents, a habit that carried into adulthood. Searching for her truth, Andrie found her birth father, but has chosen to distance herself from him When she met her birth mother Andrie found a woman she has a lot in common with and whom she says she absolutely loves. This is Andrie's journey. Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Daughter Dee lives in Maryland with me. Dee had a wonderful upbringing in Philadelphia, PA where she was cherished and celebrated on her birthdays. When she was fresh out of college Dee's adoptive mother passed away. Dee learned she was adopted and her world turned into a question mark while mourning. As a late discovery adoptee (LDA), she faced secondary rejection, unanswered questions. And misattributed parentage. This is daughter D's journey Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbeanlVMPWZJEKn38hrIydEs4

Samantha, from south Florida, watched her adoptive mother reunite with the son she placed for adoption. Samantha found herself anticipating her own reunion one day, so she decided to take action. When she located her birth mother, she learned the woman was very young when she gave birth, was told to forget about the whole thing and had built walls around herself from the trauma of her youth. Samantha remains a positive person, even though she feels like she's an outsider looking in on her birth family. This is Samantha's journeyWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Share Your StoryDamon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” Listen OnApple PodcastsSpotifyGoogle PlayTuneInStitcherPlayer FMPodbeanYouTubeSocial MediaFacebook Instagram

Emma described her adoption with words and concepts like "purchased", "captor", and "Stockholm syndrome". Those aren't the ideas behind a healthy parent child relationshipWhen she decided to find her birth mother, Emma would not be deterred by the redacted information her case worker gave her, so she took action... illegally, to steal her birth mother's name. In reunion Emma lacked the tools to maintain a relationship with her birth mother, and stood face to face with her birth father who portrayed himself as an innocent bystander, not a biological relative.This is Emma's journey. The Gathering Place, An Adoptee StoryWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Rebecca, from Tallahassee, Florida, grew up in a religious home where she was over protected and adoption was not discussed or explored. In reunion, She learned her social worker who helped her placement had remained friends with her birth mother and was able to connect them immediately. Rebecca is the documentarian behind the movie Reckoning With The Primal Wound, a visual exploration of the landmark book, "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier. She's worked on the movie and an audio version of the book. One has gone very well. The other is blocked by a litigious brick wall that Rebecca didn't anticipate and that's triggering adoptee abandonment issues.This is Rebecca's journeyReckoning With The Primal WoundWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareDamon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8Social MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Listen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH

Carlyn (Kar-leen), from Santa Fe, New Mexico, grew up in a junkyard house in a tough relationship with her adoptive mother. Caryln felt over protected, trapped, and wondering why that was her life. After submitting a DNA test for fun, Carlyn was connected with a biological relative she had never heard of forcing her adoptive sister to finally reveal Carlyn's adoption. The news sent a wrecking ball, sailing through her life. Carlyn's newly found DNA matched biological sister was seeking connection because the woman never really had a family. Soon the pair were told they had no time to waste meeting Carlyn's birth mother.This is Carlyn's journey. Purchase Junkyard GirlWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Today you're going to meet candidate for Congress Maxwell Frost who called me from Orlando, Florida. Maxwell is a transracial adoptee who grew up loved and supported. When he found himself at a crossroads in his life, the decision to run for public office are not, he realized he wanted to get some answers about his birth mother and his adoption. Speaking with the woman Maxwell learned about the cycle of poverty her community has faced. Hearing her story and her unscripted delivery of one of his life mantras was part of what he needed to validate his run for office. This is Maxwell's journeyMaxwell Frost For CongressWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

This is a special episode of the, Who Am I Really? podcast. My guest today is Pamela Karanova, who first appeared on the show on episode 160, "Stepping Into A Space Of Freedom". She told her story of addiction, thoughts of taking her own life and debilitating depression all in the context of her journey through adoption and reunion. Thankfully, Pam has recovered from much of her life's trauma and finding her way out of the darkness inspired Pam to create some special things. I brought Pam back because she is the empowering adoptee advocate behind two amazing movements - Adoptee Remembrance Day, a global observance of several serious adoptee focused issues and Adoptees Connecta soon to be international movement to get adoptees together in person to support one another. I asked Pam to share about the movements she has started. Adoptee Remembrance Day #AdopteeRemembranceDay #ARD #AdopteesWeRememberAdoptees Connect: https://adopteesconnect.com/Plant an affiliate: https://adopteesconnect.com/start-an-affiliate/TED Talk: Adoption, DNA, and the Impact on a Concealed LifeWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Lynn, from Danville, Virginia knew she was adopted, but she never knew the secret that hers was a kinship adoption... and she had always known her birth mother. So, Lynn didn't have a reunion as much as a re-introduction to her birth mother through the lens of her true relationship to Lynn. Meeting her birth father, things started off great but the honeymoon faded leaving Lynn confused, but open to exploring how to repair things. Lynn spends her extra time advocating for young pregnant women at a clinic where she lives and she hopes adoptive parents will educate themselves about how to navigate adoption. This is Lynn's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Donna, from Scottsdale, Arizona, had a condition at birth which meant she was going straight to the hospital before her adoption, insuring her detachment from her birth mother and her future family, until she recovered. When she was a teenager, Donna was cut off by her adoptive father when she got pregnant then placed her own daughter for adoption. In reunion, Donna has found a best friend in her birth mother, a birth father who's too full of himself and unkind to remain in contact with, and her daughter whom she had to wait years for until the time was right for everyone to connect more deeply. This is Donna's journeyWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Heidi, from Silicon Valley, California, grew up walking on eggshells, crying a lot and "staying small" in her world despite being gifted. She found her maternal family guided by a somewhat famous reunion specialist who helped the reunion along. Heidi says reunion can be weird and awkward for how much time has passed while an adoptee tries to get to know their biological relatives in the present. Her reunions are further complicated by the emotions of her birth mother and birth father being the opposite reactions to her return than she expected. This is Heidi's journeyLyrics to Looking For Me (Lyrics)Looking for Me (Heidi Frederick © 2021)My life a blurry canvas, full of pain and sometimes numbNo voice, no choice, grasping for joy, yet slipping through my handsSo lost without direction, afraid to ask for helpfull of fear and loneliness, days and nights all by myselfSilent struggle of a misfit, just trying to fit inplease tell me what to hope for, don’t let me down againMissing peace, missing pieces, yet not a search for them,I’m looking for me, to set me free, know who I truly amSearching for places, strangers faces, no reflection foundwas looking for them, yet searching for mealone, yet in a crowdIf you could only know, my motive is so pureNot looking to replace you, our relationship, secureIt’s not them I’m looking for, it’s me I long to know,You chose me then, you choose me now, but I need to heal and growCan’t imagine, what they went through, so young and so aloneknowing she’s a part of you and suddenly she’s goneThey told you to move on, you’ll have more kids one dayIt’s better not to hold her, just turn and walk awaySearching for places, strangers faces, no reflection foundwas looking for you, but searching for mestill alone, yet in a crowdTies that bind, can’t be broken with false promised and empty wordsAfter all this is your child, yet, she’s no longer yoursShe’s spent her whole life wondering, if one day you would meetno bitterness or resentment, not filled with rage or hateWith secrets and shame comes darkness, but courage and hope bring lightWalls come down, healing is found, not easy, but worth the fight.My life, now a mosaic of brokenness and lightTo rise and shine for all to see, to pass the torch of lifeSearching for places, strangers faces, my reflection foundIn my search for you, I’ve been set freemy soul no longer bound.Searching for places, strangers faces, my reflection foundIn my search for you, I’ve been set freemy soul no longer bound.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Jack from Phoenix, Arizona, said as a boy, he was kept separate from his sister who was biologically related to his parents. While he was interested in reunion jack was clearly told his desires were unacceptable. He held off from searching for years only to find later that his birth mother was eagerly awaiting his return. On his paternal side, Jack was met with a wall of protection with the exception of one sister. From a distance jack says he's learned more about his paternal family than they probably know about themselves. This is jack's journey Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

David, from San Jose, CA said when he was a kid he knew he was talented and smart but his gifts didn't seem to measure up to his adoptive parents expectations. When David learned he was adopted the news, left him wanting to find his birth mother rebelling and challenged to control his behavior. In reunion, David found his paternal family, but similar elements of dysfunction in their family and drastically differing opinions prevent him from getting any closer. This is David's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareDamon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8Listen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/

I'm back for season 11 of the, Who Am I Really? podcast. It's going to be another moving season of open, heartfelt discussions about the adoption experience from people from all walks of life. But before we get to the season, I want to update you on my own journey. Some of, you may know that I lost my adoptive mother Veronica on Friday, September 2nd, 2022. It was the end of a long road for her as mental illness had taken such a toll on both her mind and her body. This is another part of my journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Bryan Elliott, writer, director, producer, grew up in Southern California feeling under prioritized by his adoptive mother. At an early age, he had ambitions of finding his birth family. After extensive research Bryan called a long list of women only to realize she was among those who had repeatedly told him, "sorry, it's not me." when he called.Maternal secondary rejection was solidified with the threat of legal action, but later legal correspondence clarified his birth father's identity in the search for a man Bryan had searched for for decades. It took some coaxing, but Bryan was finally granted full access to his paternal family. This is Bryan's journeyLiving In Adoptionland podcastWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Lisa, my guest from episode 168, "A Vein of Gratitude" is back to share how her reunion has been in the year since we spoke. Lisa and I chatted the night before Lisa met her birth mother for the first time. The COVID-19 pandemic had kept them apart, so the moment was imminent that they would finally meet. The reunion went well, even though some discussion topics were closed for exploration. Afterwards, Lisa struggled with her birth mother's expressions of love and the woman's intense desire to connect Lisa to her half-brother. Lisa had an array of reunion, emotions and experiences in the year, since we first spoke. Now it's time for an update on Lisa's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Mike, from SoCo, Maine was cruising through childhood until he was told he was adopted. The news shook Mike's confidence in relationships and the aftermath lingered in self doubt, creeping through his personal and professional life. When he found his maternal family, Mike was welcomed in as his sister lamented that they missed so much time apart. Now Mike serves as Chairman of the Board of the National Council for Adoption (NCFA). He coaches others on bringing their best selves to every relationship through a process of building personal trust communities. This is Mike's journey Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Singer/song writer Jenni Alpert, aka Cami, my guest from episode 96, is back to share an update on her life with her birth father, Don. Recall Jenni took on her birth nickname Cami and went under cover in the streets of Los Angeles to locate Don who was hiding from the law, using drugs, and living outside. Using the tools in her belt that she'd accumulated throughout her life, Jenni became Don's advocate and introduced him to alternatives to life in the streets. When she revealed she was a musician, a creative partnership blossomed and they began performing together at non-profit homeless advocacy events, adoption and fostering events, and touring around the country. Don is no longer with us, but Jenni is honoring her birth father by making her life's purpose to uplift others. This is an update on Jenni's journey. Go back and listen to: Episode 096 - The Safe Place That's Don's Place Music with Don: Until Then https://youtu.be/1Uxa0H1FHe4Documentary: Homeless the Soundtrack (Apple TV, Google Play, YouTube TV) https://youtu.be/kvWZ1inuvN8Book: Home is Where the Heart is, An Adoption and Biological Reunion Story: A Memoirhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/0578938138/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_7QTQV9NJCANHWD15M3YSAftermath since Don's passing: https://youtu.be/xGVhaK1nRtkCami and Don music and speaking YouTube:https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_cdP6dotlBs23P1dR3eL9r3gqMUDu-oyJenni Alpert Music https://youtube.com/user/JenniAlpertWebsite: www.jennialpert.comDon’s Take: (montage of my birth father Don’s perspective in the form of speeches and candid conversations, his take on Homelessness, Adoption, and Biological Reunions, & our performances at shelters, rescue missions, adoption related programs, nightclubs and events) https://youtu.be/BW9Q-VI9z7ASoundCloud sound bytes recordings of Cami and Don candid conversations, challenging stigmas https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/tW15pMZB41biWNx79Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Singer Song writer Jenni Alpert, commonly referred to by her birth name, Cami had a wonderful life supported by her adoptive parents as she pursued the performing arts. After her adoptive father passed away, she learned that her biological mother had too. Her maternal connections went well over time, but her paternal side remained a mystery. Locating her birth father was one thing… doing reconnaissance, ensuring her safety, and tapping into over a decade of her various volunteer experiences with people who’s lives were in the streets was something different. In their story you’ll hear the dedication of a daughter who found her birth father down and out, accepted him as he was , and worked hard to find a pathway for them to reunite and share their love of music. This is Jenni’s journey.Photo:Cami (aka Jenni Alpert) and her birth father DonPhoto credit: Jeff Fasano Here’s a link to the news story I referenced: https://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/video/father-and-daughter-duo-reunited-in-song-62059077604Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Alyssa, from Jacksonville, Florida, is a biracial woman who was adopted into a white family in a white community. Living without racial mirrors. She realized in her youth, she was missing a connection to the black community. With identifying information, Alyssa was able to locate her biological parents quickly, but Alyssa is eternally grateful that her maternal aunt was the cherished person she connected with first. Alyssa's relationships with her biological parents are strained for now, but she holds out hope that her birth mother will come to understand how she feels, appreciate that she's doing the work to maintain her own happiness, and that they can reconnect one day.This is Alyssa's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Shannon, from Hazel Green, Alabama, stood out from her adoptive family in looks and some personality traits. So there was a natural curiosity about her birth family. She assumed she'd be able to locate them, her whole story would be laid out with clear facts about her conception, and everything would make sense. Instead, Shannon found a birth mother who had very little recollection of that time in her life, she was given misleading information, and she spent many years in a reunion with the wrong guy. This is Shannon's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Larry, from Grand Rapids, Michigan, talks about his life as a transracial adoptee in a predominantly white community where many white parents adopted black children. In a desperate search for role models he latched on to some undesirable stereotypes of what a black man should be including stories he heard about his birth father. After a near death experience in the streets, Larry located his birth mother who eventually wrote the letter he needed to read to release the pressure he was under. This is Larry's journey"White, Confused, Black and Christian", by Larry YffLarryYff.comWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Julie, from Humboldt County, California, had a wonderful reunion with her birth mother and has learned how a woman operates, which has helped Julie managed some of her own feelings in their reunion. But when Julie's birth mother admitted she'd had a one night stand, Julie thought she'd never find her birth father.DNA testing helped her figure out that her birth father was one of two brothers and one of them was so much like her. He had to be the guy. But was he. When the truth was discovered, Julie was left to maintain the family secret. This is Julie's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

After years of struggling to get along with her adoptive mother, who struggled as a World War II survivor, Danielle finally figured out the reasons for their differences. She's a late discovery adoptee, but hers was less of a discovery, more of a revelation that overcame her in the middle of the night. She found her birth mother who wondered why it took so long for them to finally connect. Then the magic died and their reunion was over. Later Danielle did a DNA test connecting to a distant paternal relative, and it was just in time to meet her birth father. This is Danielle's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Jonathan's admits adoption was always part of his story and he was never made to feel special or different. But after his adopted sister sought out her biological family for medical information, Jonathan decided it was time for his search to begin to. What he found was such a great likeness to his paternal side, that it worked against him in meeting his biological mother who might not have been mentally strong enough to see the face of the young man she used to know appearing again on her adult, biological son. This is Jonathan's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Mike who called me from Berlin, Germany was born in St. Louis, Missouri. It's a place he ultimately fought hard to try to get away from because of its association with his adoptive family. After years traveling the country, then moving abroad to Germany Mike found himself in reunion with his birth mother back in St. Louis. Mike says that out of everyone, he looks the most like the one person he really wanted to find. And that these days he's turning some challenging experiences in his life into positivity for others. This is mike's journeyWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Rebecca called me from outside of Richmond, Virginia. She has lived a life in adoption from the formation of her family, with her adoption to becoming a birth mother, dedicating her professional life to adoption and experiencing reunion with her birth mother birth father and her son. Her reunions have been a mix of denial and near rejection to full acceptance after years of anticipation and surprise to be found by the parents of her own child. You're going to be amazed to hear how much adoption can be woven throughout one adoptee's life. This is Rebecca's journeyWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

When Lisa and I chatted, she was in a hotel in South Dakota, but she normally resides in Tennessee. She was in town for the momentous occasion of reuniting with her birth mother the next day. We agreed to chat ahead of time because Lisa knew she would be a different person after reunion. Lisa led a quiet life, surrounded by family she loved and felt deeply connected to. Her adoption was never kept a secret from her and played a constant theme in her life. Guided by gratitude and the question, "where do I come from?" Lisa's journey started with a DNA test, which opened the doors to help her answer that nagging question. Lisa mapped out generations of her family tree, discovered she was a secret to some in her family and a sequestered fact to others. The path of Lisa's reunion still has a winding road ahead so, this is Lisa's journey so far... (part 2 of Lisa's journey will be ep. 181 - Wandering Tree)Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/Share Your Story - bit.ly/2imgrtv_ShareListen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

Today my guest is Micheleana who lives outside of Kansas city in Lawrence, Kansas. Micheleana's early life was tumultuous after her parents divorced. Her adoptive mother passed away suddenly, and she was abandoned by her adoptive family. Incredibly her birth father walked right into her life twice and she didn't even recognize him. Unfortunately, she got an unexpectedly awkward introduction to her birth mother that may have set the stage of continued uneasiness between them when it comes to really getting to know one another. This is Micheleana's journey

Today you're going to meet Michael who called me from Atlanta, Georgia. Michael grew up with adoptive parents who were functional alcoholics which meant they had a dysfunctional home with a narcissistic mother and a detached father. When DNA testing linked Michael with his maternal family he learned that his siblings knew about him but his birth mother was kept in the dark that her secret had been revealed. In reunion, Michael's eyes were opened to the meaning of nature versus nurture when he found shared physical traits and common interests in athletics, music and more. Now Michael helps run an Adoptees Connect group in Atlanta for adopted people to link up and support one another. This is Michael's journey.

Elisa lives outside of Philadelphia. She shares her story of the DNA test. She completed to learn more about her heritage that surprisingly linked her to her birth mother. The woman was lifelong friends with Elisa's birth father's family, but the man never knew that Elisa existed until her birth mother helped connect them at her own home. Elisa's birth mother has met her adoptive parents which filled an unrecognized void in her parents' lives this is Elisa's journey

Simon from the United Kingdom, knew he was adopted from as early as he can remember. When he finally decided to search for his birth mother, he had a flash of anger about the toy. The woman left him. But when he learned of her situation and heard another birth mother's perspective, that his anger was likely misguided, he quickly changed course to empathizing with his birth mother. Listen to Simon's efforts to support other adoptees and his desire to change prevailing narratives in adoption. This is simon's journey

Debbie lives outside of Portland, Oregon. Her parents adopted her and her brother too soon after tragedy struck their family. Debbie found her roots in Kansas, in a small town where the grape vine unexpectedly spread news fast that she was in town. Uh, sad loss. Oddly gave Debbie a chance to connect more deeply with her birth mother. But her birth father only told half of his family about Debbie creating a minefield of secrets in this era of consumer DNA testing. This is Debbie's journey

Cindy lives outside of Sacramento, California. She and her sister were placed in foster care where they learned to protect themselves and be tough. Cindy's search started with an abundance of identifiable information thanks to her adoptive parents. In reunion, she found a man she truly resembled, was bonded to, but who was forced to cut their relationship again until his final days. Cindy found the pieces that were missing in her personal puzzle and healing that she, and many other people involved in her adoption reunion, really needed. This is Cindy's journey.Once In A Lullaby: My Journey Homehttps://www.livinglightoasis.com/

Kevin, from upstate New York, shares his journey to find his worthiness, to beat in this life. His search for his birth mother led him to the one woman who knew he existed and the unexpected sibling set that has fortified his own fight to carry on. Kevin continues his search for his paternal connections. All with his angel Roz on his shoulder. Loving him as she loved her own birth children. This is Kevin's journey. Check out Kevin's book: "Dear Stephen Michael's Mother"https://www.kevinbarhydt.com

Erika called me from outside of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Ericka and her older adopted brother were doing fine with their adoptive parents until the birth of their siblings created an unspoken split between the children. In reunion, Erika's mother was an open book about her experiences as one of the girls who went away, while her adoptive mother was closed to the fact that Erika was actually related to her birth mother, subscribing to the blank slate mentality of the baby scope era. Connecting with her birth father she found a man who always knew about her but didn't realize that he missed her until Erika returned. This is Erika's journey.

Today's adoptee story is Winnie's. She called me from Los Angeles, California. Growing up, Winnie's adoptive parents were closed to discussing her adoption, rejected her basic desire to socialize and left her to fend for herself in the name of creating an independent woman. But her treatment was unfairly different from that of her adopted sister. When he has an arduous road ahead seeking reunion with her birth mother in India in the face of information inaccuracies. And in the wake of massive COVID 19 casualties. Winnie is the creator of Indian Adoptees Connect, a community for Indian adopted people like herself. This is Winnie's journey

Pam called me from Lexington, Kentucky.Growing up in adoption she suffered in the care of her adoptive mother who was unable to be a to parent her children because she was barely holding on herself.In reunion Pam found two alcoholics and when she looked in the mirror she saw someone who needed to change her trajectory before she followed in their footsteps. Pam has done a lot of empathizing to heal herself, and focused her energy on creating Adoptees Connect to help other adopted people find support like what she needed in her darkest days. She also founded Adoptee Remembrance Day, October 30th, #adopteeremembranceday. It's a time to recognize Adoptee Suicide, Adoptee Abuse & Neglect, and Adoptee Loss.This is Pam's journey.

Ed called me from here in Maryland. He shared the sad, circumstances of his adoptive parents losing two children, but not really healing from the losses, feeling loyalty to his adoptive parents. Ed went on a clandestine search for his birth mother, found her then lost touch for years. All of which exacerbated his anxiety within him. Fortunately Ed reunited with his maternal and paternal sides and connected to his personal history in some unique ways. This is Ed's journey.

Jennifer, from Standardsville, Virginia, said growing up in New York, she had a very different childhood experience in her family than her sister, who was biological to their parents. Their mother suffered with substance abuse and deep down the woman probably knew she wasn't as good a mother to Jennifer as she could've been. In reunion Jennifer realized that secrets of the past were hard to overcome because they were ladened with stigma from her birth mother's pregnancy experience. Her paternal reunion was a surreal phone experience that you have to hear Jennifer tell to believe. Thankfully her aunt and younger sister made up for the shocking phone conversation she had with her birth father. This is jennifer's journey.

Honor described a childhood in isolation, so much so that it impacted her health when she started school. Wondering about her biological parents, she developed a romantic story in her mind that they were in love but simply couldn’t keep her. It took her many years to track down her real story which was far more complex, and at one point she thought that one of her worst fears was true. When she found her birth mother, they only had a passing anonymous introduction to one another and when they met again years later, the woman was unable to recognize who Honor was. When Honor tracked down her birth father, his actions indicated he was the right guy, even if he didn’t explicitly say so.Read Full TranscriptHonor:                         00:05               Then he said, “oh, and there’s something else”, and I said, “what.? And he said, “she claims that she was raped”, so I was in bits.Damon:                       00:14               Really.?Honor:                         00:15               I remember going into the garden alone and wondering about and I wanted to cry but couldn’t. I was just crucified inside because that for me, was the worst scenario that I could hear.Voices:                        00:35               Who am I? Who am I? Who Am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon:                       00:47               This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Honor. She called me from outside of Edinburgh. Scotland. Honor described a childhood in isolation, so much so that it impacted her health when she started school. It took her many years to track down her real story and at one point she thought that one of her worst fears was true when she found her birth mother. They only had a passing anonymous introduction to one another, and when they met again years later, the woman was unable to recognize who Honor was when Honor tracked down her birth father. His actions indicated he was the right guy even if he didn’t explicitly say so. This is Honors journey. Honor was born in good shepherd, mother and baby home in bishop ton near Glasgow, Scotland. Her mother and father adopted her as slightly older parents, 44 and 42 respectively on her, says she was adopted officially at four years old and she remembers that time of their lives because her parents seemed agitated, which she still remembers clearly. They told her she was adopted, but she didn’t know what it meant. She just knew it was a word. She should definitely rememberHonor:                         02:12               And occasionally, I would ask the question, why did you choose to me? Um, I think it was probably because I liked the answer, which is because she was the one who smiled. And then I sensed this was old preschool and pre five year old. I then became very aware of how uncomfortable my mother became. If I asked the question, she didn’t like itDamon:                       02:37               and what would she do, how could you tellHonor:                         02:40               she she, she would look uncomfortable and would just say, well, because you were the one that smiled and carry on doing something else. She’d never sat me on her knee and talked about it nicely. It was like I answered, now shut up. It was definitely a discomfort situation which I picked up on.

As an interracial adoptee and musical artist, Ferera grew up feeling different from her adopted family. When her adoption was tearfully confirmed by her Mom, it created doubt within her about whether it was okay to be different? Ferera met her birth mother, and the woman’s twin sister, so their reunion was a shared experience that somewhat fractured the intimate connection Ferera would have liked to have developed. She’s in touch with her birth father, but they’ve never met b/c he lives in the Philipines.Stream Ferera’s song “Second Time” via: Soundcloud | SpotifyWatch Acoustic Version on YouTubeConnect With Ferera:Website  |Facebook | Twitter | Instagram| YouTube |SoundcloudRead Full TranscriptFerera:                        00:01               She said that I was making it all about me and I do believe that she was saying that out of her own pain. For an adoptee. It’s like, well, I didn’t choose this. I didn’t ever choose to be adopted. I didn’t choose for me to be in this position and so I wanted to work it out. I really did and so when I reached out to her and tried to talk about it, I suggested let’s get on the phone because emails are just, things can get misconstrued, but I never did hear back from her again.Voices:                        00:34               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?New Speaker:              00:47               This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Ferera. She called me from Austin, Texas as an interracial adoptee and musical artists for rare, grew up feeling different from her adopted family. When her adoption was confirmed by her mother, it created doubt within herself about whether it was okay to be different Ferera met her birth mother and the woman’s twin sister. So their reunion was a shared experience that somewhat fractured the intimate connection Ferera would have liked to have developed. She’s in touch with her birth father but they’ve never met because he lives overseas. This is Ferera journey.Damon:                       01:33               Ferera originally from Houston. She said the first time she ever felt different from her family was around three years old since those early days Ferera has gotten her DNA test done. So she can tell you more clearly now what her heritage is. But at first all she could tell you isFerera:                        01:49               I am a transracial adoptee. And so, um, I grew up in, um, a Chinese family and um, I’m Filipino but there, you know, there’s a big difference so. I think many people don’t realize that there is such a big difference between the two, but there is culturally and all these things. But basically growing up we didn’t really talk about it. I wasn’t really told that I was adopted until I was, um, uh, 10 years old. And that’s only because I asked, because I look completely different from my family, but I always felt like I inherently knew that I was adopted because, you know, I think the majority of us, you know, at least the other adoptees that I’ve spoken to have said like a, yeah, I think I always knew, I mean, even the ones that aren’t transracially adopted. So yeah, I asked my mom if I was at, if I was born from her, those were the words I used. I think that was like six or seven. I forgot how old. The first time I asked her was, she kind of didn’t answer me directly the first time she just said, well, you know, no matter if you’re born, if I gave birth, she or not, I, we love you just the same. And so I thought that was a little bit interesting, but I like, I, like I said, I knew I was not of the same, you know, from that family.Damon:                       03:11               So l

Adoptees have the ultimate voice about the adoption experience. Adoptee podcasters are offering fellow adoptees outlets for sharing their inner thoughts and deepest emotions about their adoption journeys -- the happy and sad, incredible experiences and the awful outcomes. On Wednesday, November 4, 2020 @ 7pm ET the hosts of some of the leading adoptee hosted podcasts: "Adoptees On" with Haley Radke, "Born In June Raised In April" with April Dinwoodie and "Who Am I Really?" with Damon Davis shared some of their insights from several years and hundreds of episodes podcasting about adoption. This was an open event for everyone to attend, ask questions, and hopefully leave with useful insights.* At 1:20:32 April and Haley very graciously supported the group through a Zoom bomb (a rude interruption in our online forum by uninvited participants). Just wanted to explain the odd transition in the content at that moment. 

Rachel is a Hispanic woman of Chilean descent, raised in a Jewish family. She shared her feelings of otherness trying to connect with other Spanish speaking children with her limited proficiency. Rachel describes her father’s blindness to her heritage, and her unbelievable luck to have strangers who went out of their way to help her meet her birth mother in Chile.Read Full TranscriptRachel:                        00:03               It took me a while to sort through it. I remember talking to my grandmother about it and she said, you know, Rachel, it’s not about how you get here, It’s about what you do with yourself once you’re here. So she was like focused less on that event that led to you being here and focus more on what you want to do with yourself and how you want to, you know, make a name for yourself. And that is something that I’ve always held ontoVoices:                        00:35               Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon:                       00:47               This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Rachel. She called me from right here in Frederick, Maryland. Rachel is a Hispanic woman of Chilean descent, raised in a Jewish family. She shared her feelings of otherness, her father’s blindness to her heritage and her unbelievable luck to have strangers who went out of their way to help her meet her birth mother in Chile. This is Rachel’s journey. In Rachel’s family, adoption was a fairly open topic. Her brother was adopted three years before her and they always knew they were adopted from young ages. When they got older, they understood a little bit more what that meant.Rachel:                        01:37               I feel like I was my only like person in my group of friends that was adopted growing up. And I think that kind of felt a little bit strange sometimes.Damon:                       01:48               Do you remember mentioning it to other people or did you just, you just couldn’t see other adoptees so you figured you were the only one?Rachel:                        01:56               No, I think I always mentioned it like, I feel like it was something that I talked about a lot. Um, I know that I asked a million questions. My brother didn’t talk much about his biological family or didn’t really express like a lot of curiosity about it, but I was always asking questions like, can you tell me about my biological mom or why was I given up for adoption? Or Can we talk about this? And, um, my parents didn’t ever answer questions. It was kind of always like, when you turn 18, we’ll let you know. But I still was always asking. So it was definitely something that I would mention to friends or to, you know, people within my community. Um, I was always telling everybody like, I’m from Chile and I thought that was a, a pretty cool thing.Damon:                       02:43               Yeah. That’s really interesting. So what, what do you, why do you think you were always asking about it? It sounds like you were somewhat self-aware about it from a very early age. What do you think sparked your curiosity to want to ask about it? It sounds like from even the very beginning.Rachel:                        03:01               Um, I wish I knew the answer to that question. I don’t, I don’t necessarily know,