Who Am I Really?

Darryl, from Australia, admits he had a challenging childhood from his relationship with his adoptive father, to their family's need to move around a lot because they were so poor, and his experience learning he is a late discovery adoptee.Darryl describes himself as a person for whom the truth is very important, so as an adult he discharged his adoption setting his personal record straight.This is Darryl's journey.

Wendy, from Minnesota, had a lot of information about her natural mother and assumed the woman would want to know her, but that wasn't the case. They corresponded once, solely for her natural mother to share clinical information, then the door closed.Wendy said finding her paternal sister Jen, a woman she could have met years earlier at church, has been a redemptive blessing that's brought Wendy peace.This is Wendy's journey.

Brandi, who called me from myrtle Beach, South Carolina, is an inquisitive person adopted in to a family with a history of scholars, which is rare for a black family in the south. DNA led Brandi to a cousin who was determined to help her figure out their biological connection and which of two men were her birth father. Coincidentally Brandi studied the music of a uniquely east coast southern diaspora of African people, only to learn she was studying the music of her own roots.This is Brandi's journey.

When Susan, from Irving, Texas, found her natural mother, she learned she was conceived in transit when two young lives collided, then never saw one another again. Her birth mother's life seemed too chaotic the women to make a deeper connection. The woman ended things abruptly when Susan didn't behave the way she wanted. Susans's paternal connection, while a complete surprise, was filled with joy and acceptance for a father who needed to fill a void, and a daughter who craved the same. This is Susan's journey.

To date, I’ve only interviewed a few guests who weren't adoptees, and this will be another one. Today you're going to meet Anne-Marie from Southern California who drafted an impassioned submission to be on the Who Am I Really podcast. At first I wanted to stay true to the focus of the show, sharing adoptee voices. But I quickly realized there is no place, that I know of, for natural mothers to tell their stories and Anne-Marie was trusting me with hers. When she got pregnant in her teen years, she placed her daughter for adoption despite every fiber of her being wanting to keep her baby. When she turned 18 years old, Anne-Marie’s daughter Alex found her and they reunited. When Alex went to college she slipped out of her studies and into rehab where Anne-Marie was part of her and many other rehabbing adoptees recoveries. In the end Anne-Marie lost Alex twice, feels lucky to have known her at all, and wants every adoptee to know that we are loved. This is Anne-Marie’s journey.

Liz, from Michigan, grew up in a neighborhood full of adoptees, so it wasn’t until years later in the Dominican Republic teaching a class with a lot of adoptees in it that her own adoption sunk in. After finding her natural mother through an intermediary they reunited during a sleepover in a hotel room where they stayed up all night. Their bond solidified when Liz’s daughter was born bringing them closer as they marveled at the next generation of their family before them. After more than a decade in reunion, Liz played an emotional farewell to her mother on her viola to say goodbye. This is Liz’s journey.

Jim, who now lives in Delaware, said growing up he had no desire to search for his first family. After his parents passed and he found his adoption name change form, his feelings about a search changed. While he missed his biological mother, one of her lifelong friends shared some intimate pieces of the woman’s life, including his birth father's name. Jim made the trip to Texas to meet his birthfather, who felt re-energized in his final months by Jim’s emergence. This is Jim’s journey.

Gloria called me from Texas where she grew up with Mexican parents. In younger days she tried to find the ways she looked like her family. In adulthood, following the whim of some co-workers, Gloria did a DNA test naive to what it could possibly reveal. In a matter of months she was plunged into the deep end as a late discovery adoptee. She began drinking to cope, accidentally pushed away her paternal sister, but managed to hang onto her relationship with her biological mother.This is Gloria's journey.

Lisa called me from New Jersey to share her story of growing up in an abusive home. She had one unrelated adopted sister who didn’t have the same experience in their house that Lisa had. Lisa always felt like the odd person out and hoped that reunion with her birth mother would be a rescue from those feelings.The opposite was true with her maternal connection which fell apart twice, but Lisa’s paternal ties have made her feel accepted for her nature versus how she was… or wasn’t nurtured. This is Lisa’s journey

Breanna learned that she was fostered then adopted but for financial gain and she described her home as a hostile environment. Her adopted mother was abusive, and Breanna ultimately ran away from home to the military. But before bootcamp she contacted her birth mother, and learned the hard truth about her conception. In reunion, she was forced to watch her birth father’s judgment for his actions.The post 102 – It’s Always Maybe appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.Breanna (00:05):She feels really guilty and I think that's why she doesn't want me to hate her. She thinks that I should hate her and I don't hate her. It does make me angry now that like you're wasting time. We could be like, we could be going forward, but like I don't hate you for giving me up like I really don't hate her.Damon (00:32):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members.Damon (00:53):I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Breanna who called me from Jacksonville, North Carolina. Breanna learned that she was fostered then adopted but for financial gain. Her adopted mother was abusive and Breanna ultimately ran away from home to the military, but before bootcamp she contacted her birth mother and learned the hard truth about her conception in reunion. She was forced to watch her birth father's judgment for his actions. This is Breanna's journey. The weekend I spoke to Breanna. She was teaching her six year old daughter to ride her bicycle. When she spoke of her parents, she said they never really talked about adoption, but she remembers a time when she was six years old at church when her status as an adoptee stood out in her mind.Breanna (01:41):When we joined the church, they introduced themselves and they said, we adopted four kids and we have two of our own. So they didn't talk about it and they didn't really want to talk about it. My dad was more like, Oh, we're your parents we raised you and are the ones who who've taken care of you, you know? So we left it alone. It wasn't like a topic.Damon (02:02):Breanna's siblings who were biological to her parents were many years older than the adoptees in their home. You heard Breanna say she has four adopted siblings. Breanna is in the middle of the adoptees. They were all foster children. First adoptees who didn't know their own stories. Her parents had adoption folders for every child, which Breanna found in their garage. They had pictures and photo books for every child. She learned that some of her adopted siblings were children of drug addicted parents. Breanna located everyone's folder except her own, which was frustrating. She talks a bit about why her parents fostered them. FirstBreanna (02:43):they said that they adopted us because they needed money and there was money to foster care and they got paid for us and then they were offered more money if they adopted us. So they actually got paid up until we were, we graduated from high school. So originally that's why they went into foster care. They, so I don't, I guess eventually it wasn't like a need.Damon (03:08):So did you, could you feel that need like were, how were they as parents? I guess what I'm asking is when I think of parents who choose to foster out of financial need, I have a, I'll admit I have a little bit of a negative feeling in my gut about that. Tell me about your home in terms of this particular stereotype that I have.Breanna (03:34):I say like the home was really a hostile place to be. Like I avoided my, my house. And I think like now that I'm older, I know that my dad of what at the house because of like my mom, I think I'm pretty sure she struggled with mental illness, but like my dad, I told you like he always lived away. He always worked away. Like he only came to visit us on the weekends and like he would tell us like once we got like to teenagers, we'd be like, why can't, like, why won't you like divorce her? Or why won't you like, let us move in with you? Or something. He was like, you know, this could be like, you guys could be worse off if you were with like your biological families or if you were somewhere else. Like it could be worse, you know? And he kind of left it at that and he was really like soft spoken. Like he didn't say very much. So I can't say like, he was horrible, but my mom, like, she did really horrible things to us and would say things to us. So, no, I can't say my childhood was great and, um, at all. And I was a very depressed child. Um, now that I'm older, I can realize, I realized thatDamon (04:43):Breanna describes herself as a quiet keep to herself kind of child, so people may not have recognized her depression. She's a writer and a poet, not really much for talking. Her siblings were more boisterous, outspoken, throwing tantrums and that kind of thing. Breanna describes herself as a people pleaser who earned straight A's in school.Breanna (05:0

In Debby’s home adoption was an open topic because she was fostered by her grandparents and adopted by their daughter. Unfortunately, she wasn’t welcome as an adoptee by her adopted father and she and her family faced abuse by her stepfather. In reunion Debby found out her birth parents tried to stay together and she has full blood siblings. But her biological father has tried to deny she is his, even though she and the rest of the family know their truth.

Alex, whom I spoke with live in Los Angeles, California, said growing up, he could never quite pinpoint the out-of-place feeling he carried in his adopted life. When his children began asking about family medical history, an incredibly lucky mistake with 23andMe DNA testing kits led Alex to his full-blood brothers.Alex and his brothers agree that the timing of their reunion was fortuitous for everyone. Their mother was not forced to face the pain of the past, and his brothers were able to bond without being inhibited by anyone else’s feelings.This is Alex’s journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? WebsiteShare Your StoryDamon's storyFind the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneInStitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Mikayla (alias), from Australia, never wanted to confront her adoption until she began thinking about starting a family of her own. Through DNA testing, she uncovered both maternal and paternal connections, each marked by different levels of openness and receptivity that evolved and, in some cases, completely flipped.Ultimately, Mikayla earned the trust of her birth mother and met her face to face during a busy post-COVID period, amid an early pregnancy and wedding bells for someone special in her life.This is MiKayla’s journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? WebsiteShare Your StoryDamon's storyFind the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneInStitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Dr. Abby Hasberry spoke to me from Baltimore, Maryland. Transracially adopted, Abby was brought into a family that believed in racial harmony but didn’t support her ethnic expression as a teen. She became a first mother and was misled about the choices she made when placing her son. She has endured the ups and downs of adoption reunion with her firstborn and her own biological family.Today, Dr. Abby is a therapist supporting people across the adoption constellation through her practice.This is Abby’s journey.Dear Abby CounselingAdopting PrivilegeInstagram: d.e.a.r._abbyWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? WebsiteShare Your StoryDamon's storyFind the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneInStitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Alejandra, who spoke to me from Tampa, Florida, said that growing up she towered over her Mexican parents as a blonde white woman. They loved her deeply, making her feel safe she feels loyalty towards them. But adoption reunion, found Alejandra twice. Her maternal side had searched for decades to find her. Her paternal aunt found her then introduced her to her half-Brother. Alejandra has special gifts that made her super fast, overwhelming maternal reunion, a challenging adventure. This is Alejandra's journey.I Just Can't Make This Sh!t UpWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Yvette, from Memphis, TN, shared that In her childhood no one would say the word "adopted",. After a tense moment in the neighborhood and a series of events, Yvette figured out the truth. In reunion, Yvette learned she was placed for adoption at an odd place in the birth order of her siblings, corroborating an unsettling suspicion she had about her parents' relationship. However, she has also met some wonderful birth family members, one of whom she said is the best thing that has ever happened to her. This is Yvette's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Lauren, from southwest England in the UK, grew up knowing she was adopted and was loyal to her family, but applying to university and thinking through her life made her want to trace her roots. When she found her birth mother, she met a woman who started off chilly but warmed up when Lauren got to meet her parents, and Lauren learned that mother and daughter have something in common. Her birth father found her too, after Lauren sent a letter, but in the end she's not connected to either side of her birth families, choosing to let things be as they are.This is Lauren's journey.Women Of A Certain Stage, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTubeWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Nicole, from outside London in the UK, grew up in Australia. As a teenager, Nicole struggled with her adoption, so after reaching out for help, her birth mother was found, but that caused challenges with her adoptive parents. Soon after, Nicole’s birth father was found and proudly showcased, but she admits she wasn’t ready for that paternal relationship and wishes now that she had invested more in it back then.Nicole also shared her feelings about how adopted people invest in parenting our own children.This is Nicole’s journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Greg, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, said when his son was born, he thought he could stroll into the D.C. adoption system to ask for his adoption records, but he learned there were significant barriers to access. He’s one of the few people who found reunion through a registry, meeting his birth mother just in time to form a bond, then inheriting the true documentation of her past, more valuable than anything the courts could provide.Greg still holds out hope that his birth father will warm up more quickly to get to know him one day. Until then... ...this is Greg's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Christy, who called me from Utah, was deeply loved by her adoptive parents, who prayed she would be delivered to them. But throughout childhood, she was unable to shake the feeling of being abandoned. In reunion, Christy heard the hard truth of her conception, self-medicated to escape her feelings, then recovered to center herself in motherhood. Christy shared the importance of telling our stories, as another adoptee and journey mate did for her. This is Christy's journey.New Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean