Who Am I Really?

Darryl, from Australia, admits he had a challenging childhood from his relationship with his adoptive father, to their family's need to move around a lot because they were so poor, and his experience learning he is a late discovery adoptee.Darryl describes himself as a person for whom the truth is very important, so as an adult he discharged his adoption setting his personal record straight.This is Darryl's journey.

Wendy, from Minnesota, had a lot of information about her natural mother and assumed the woman would want to know her, but that wasn't the case. They corresponded once, solely for her natural mother to share clinical information, then the door closed.Wendy said finding her paternal sister Jen, a woman she could have met years earlier at church, has been a redemptive blessing that's brought Wendy peace.This is Wendy's journey.

Brandi, who called me from myrtle Beach, South Carolina, is an inquisitive person adopted in to a family with a history of scholars, which is rare for a black family in the south. DNA led Brandi to a cousin who was determined to help her figure out their biological connection and which of two men were her birth father. Coincidentally Brandi studied the music of a uniquely east coast southern diaspora of African people, only to learn she was studying the music of her own roots.This is Brandi's journey.

When Susan, from Irving, Texas, found her natural mother, she learned she was conceived in transit when two young lives collided, then never saw one another again. Her birth mother's life seemed too chaotic the women to make a deeper connection. The woman ended things abruptly when Susan didn't behave the way she wanted. Susans's paternal connection, while a complete surprise, was filled with joy and acceptance for a father who needed to fill a void, and a daughter who craved the same. This is Susan's journey.

To date, I’ve only interviewed a few guests who weren't adoptees, and this will be another one. Today you're going to meet Anne-Marie from Southern California who drafted an impassioned submission to be on the Who Am I Really podcast. At first I wanted to stay true to the focus of the show, sharing adoptee voices. But I quickly realized there is no place, that I know of, for natural mothers to tell their stories and Anne-Marie was trusting me with hers. When she got pregnant in her teen years, she placed her daughter for adoption despite every fiber of her being wanting to keep her baby. When she turned 18 years old, Anne-Marie’s daughter Alex found her and they reunited. When Alex went to college she slipped out of her studies and into rehab where Anne-Marie was part of her and many other rehabbing adoptees recoveries. In the end Anne-Marie lost Alex twice, feels lucky to have known her at all, and wants every adoptee to know that we are loved. This is Anne-Marie’s journey.

Liz, from Michigan, grew up in a neighborhood full of adoptees, so it wasn’t until years later in the Dominican Republic teaching a class with a lot of adoptees in it that her own adoption sunk in. After finding her natural mother through an intermediary they reunited during a sleepover in a hotel room where they stayed up all night. Their bond solidified when Liz’s daughter was born bringing them closer as they marveled at the next generation of their family before them. After more than a decade in reunion, Liz played an emotional farewell to her mother on her viola to say goodbye. This is Liz’s journey.

Jim, who now lives in Delaware, said growing up he had no desire to search for his first family. After his parents passed and he found his adoption name change form, his feelings about a search changed. While he missed his biological mother, one of her lifelong friends shared some intimate pieces of the woman’s life, including his birth father's name. Jim made the trip to Texas to meet his birthfather, who felt re-energized in his final months by Jim’s emergence. This is Jim’s journey.

Gloria called me from Texas where she grew up with Mexican parents. In younger days she tried to find the ways she looked like her family. In adulthood, following the whim of some co-workers, Gloria did a DNA test naive to what it could possibly reveal. In a matter of months she was plunged into the deep end as a late discovery adoptee. She began drinking to cope, accidentally pushed away her paternal sister, but managed to hang onto her relationship with her biological mother.This is Gloria's journey.

Lisa called me from New Jersey to share her story of growing up in an abusive home. She had one unrelated adopted sister who didn’t have the same experience in their house that Lisa had. Lisa always felt like the odd person out and hoped that reunion with her birth mother would be a rescue from those feelings.The opposite was true with her maternal connection which fell apart twice, but Lisa’s paternal ties have made her feel accepted for her nature versus how she was… or wasn’t nurtured. This is Lisa’s journey

Breanna learned that she was fostered then adopted but for financial gain and she described her home as a hostile environment. Her adopted mother was abusive, and Breanna ultimately ran away from home to the military. But before bootcamp she contacted her birth mother, and learned the hard truth about her conception. In reunion, she was forced to watch her birth father’s judgment for his actions.The post 102 – It’s Always Maybe appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.Breanna (00:05):She feels really guilty and I think that's why she doesn't want me to hate her. She thinks that I should hate her and I don't hate her. It does make me angry now that like you're wasting time. We could be like, we could be going forward, but like I don't hate you for giving me up like I really don't hate her.Damon (00:32):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members.Damon (00:53):I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Breanna who called me from Jacksonville, North Carolina. Breanna learned that she was fostered then adopted but for financial gain. Her adopted mother was abusive and Breanna ultimately ran away from home to the military, but before bootcamp she contacted her birth mother and learned the hard truth about her conception in reunion. She was forced to watch her birth father's judgment for his actions. This is Breanna's journey. The weekend I spoke to Breanna. She was teaching her six year old daughter to ride her bicycle. When she spoke of her parents, she said they never really talked about adoption, but she remembers a time when she was six years old at church when her status as an adoptee stood out in her mind.Breanna (01:41):When we joined the church, they introduced themselves and they said, we adopted four kids and we have two of our own. So they didn't talk about it and they didn't really want to talk about it. My dad was more like, Oh, we're your parents we raised you and are the ones who who've taken care of you, you know? So we left it alone. It wasn't like a topic.Damon (02:02):Breanna's siblings who were biological to her parents were many years older than the adoptees in their home. You heard Breanna say she has four adopted siblings. Breanna is in the middle of the adoptees. They were all foster children. First adoptees who didn't know their own stories. Her parents had adoption folders for every child, which Breanna found in their garage. They had pictures and photo books for every child. She learned that some of her adopted siblings were children of drug addicted parents. Breanna located everyone's folder except her own, which was frustrating. She talks a bit about why her parents fostered them. FirstBreanna (02:43):they said that they adopted us because they needed money and there was money to foster care and they got paid for us and then they were offered more money if they adopted us. So they actually got paid up until we were, we graduated from high school. So originally that's why they went into foster care. They, so I don't, I guess eventually it wasn't like a need.Damon (03:08):So did you, could you feel that need like were, how were they as parents? I guess what I'm asking is when I think of parents who choose to foster out of financial need, I have a, I'll admit I have a little bit of a negative feeling in my gut about that. Tell me about your home in terms of this particular stereotype that I have.Breanna (03:34):I say like the home was really a hostile place to be. Like I avoided my, my house. And I think like now that I'm older, I know that my dad of what at the house because of like my mom, I think I'm pretty sure she struggled with mental illness, but like my dad, I told you like he always lived away. He always worked away. Like he only came to visit us on the weekends and like he would tell us like once we got like to teenagers, we'd be like, why can't, like, why won't you like divorce her? Or why won't you like, let us move in with you? Or something. He was like, you know, this could be like, you guys could be worse off if you were with like your biological families or if you were somewhere else. Like it could be worse, you know? And he kind of left it at that and he was really like soft spoken. Like he didn't say very much. So I can't say like, he was horrible, but my mom, like, she did really horrible things to us and would say things to us. So, no, I can't say my childhood was great and, um, at all. And I was a very depressed child. Um, now that I'm older, I can realize, I realized thatDamon (04:43):Breanna describes herself as a quiet keep to herself kind of child, so people may not have recognized her depression. She's a writer and a poet, not really much for talking. Her siblings were more boisterous, outspoken, throwing tantrums and that kind of thing. Breanna describes herself as a people pleaser who earned straight A's in school.Breanna (05:0

In Debby’s home adoption was an open topic because she was fostered by her grandparents and adopted by their daughter. Unfortunately, she wasn’t welcome as an adoptee by her adopted father and she and her family faced abuse by her stepfather. In reunion Debby found out her birth parents tried to stay together and she has full blood siblings. But her biological father has tried to deny she is his, even though she and the rest of the family know their truth.

Alex, whom I spoke with live in Los Angeles, California, said growing up, he could never quite pinpoint the out-of-place feeling he carried in his adopted life. When his children began asking about family medical history, an incredibly lucky mistake with 23andMe DNA testing kits led Alex to his full-blood brothers.Alex and his brothers agree that the timing of their reunion was fortuitous for everyone. Their mother was not forced to face the pain of the past, and his brothers were able to bond without being inhibited by anyone else’s feelings.This is Alex’s journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? WebsiteShare Your StoryDamon's storyFind the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneInStitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Mikayla (alias), from Australia, never wanted to confront her adoption until she began thinking about starting a family of her own. Through DNA testing, she uncovered both maternal and paternal connections, each marked by different levels of openness and receptivity that evolved and, in some cases, completely flipped.Ultimately, Mikayla earned the trust of her birth mother and met her face to face during a busy post-COVID period, amid an early pregnancy and wedding bells for someone special in her life.This is MiKayla’s journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? WebsiteShare Your StoryDamon's storyFind the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneInStitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Dr. Abby Hasberry spoke to me from Baltimore, Maryland. Transracially adopted, Abby was brought into a family that believed in racial harmony but didn’t support her ethnic expression as a teen. She became a first mother and was misled about the choices she made when placing her son. She has endured the ups and downs of adoption reunion with her firstborn and her own biological family.Today, Dr. Abby is a therapist supporting people across the adoption constellation through her practice.This is Abby’s journey.Dear Abby CounselingAdopting PrivilegeInstagram: d.e.a.r._abbyWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? WebsiteShare Your StoryDamon's storyFind the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneInStitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Alejandra, who spoke to me from Tampa, Florida, said that growing up she towered over her Mexican parents as a blonde white woman. They loved her deeply, making her feel safe she feels loyalty towards them. But adoption reunion, found Alejandra twice. Her maternal side had searched for decades to find her. Her paternal aunt found her then introduced her to her half-Brother. Alejandra has special gifts that made her super fast, overwhelming maternal reunion, a challenging adventure. This is Alejandra's journey.I Just Can't Make This Sh!t UpWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Yvette, from Memphis, TN, shared that In her childhood no one would say the word "adopted",. After a tense moment in the neighborhood and a series of events, Yvette figured out the truth. In reunion, Yvette learned she was placed for adoption at an odd place in the birth order of her siblings, corroborating an unsettling suspicion she had about her parents' relationship. However, she has also met some wonderful birth family members, one of whom she said is the best thing that has ever happened to her. This is Yvette's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Lauren, from southwest England in the UK, grew up knowing she was adopted and was loyal to her family, but applying to university and thinking through her life made her want to trace her roots. When she found her birth mother, she met a woman who started off chilly but warmed up when Lauren got to meet her parents, and Lauren learned that mother and daughter have something in common. Her birth father found her too, after Lauren sent a letter, but in the end she's not connected to either side of her birth families, choosing to let things be as they are.This is Lauren's journey.Women Of A Certain Stage, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTubeWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Nicole, from outside London in the UK, grew up in Australia. As a teenager, Nicole struggled with her adoption, so after reaching out for help, her birth mother was found, but that caused challenges with her adoptive parents. Soon after, Nicole’s birth father was found and proudly showcased, but she admits she wasn’t ready for that paternal relationship and wishes now that she had invested more in it back then.Nicole also shared her feelings about how adopted people invest in parenting our own children.This is Nicole’s journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Greg, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, said when his son was born, he thought he could stroll into the D.C. adoption system to ask for his adoption records, but he learned there were significant barriers to access. He’s one of the few people who found reunion through a registry, meeting his birth mother just in time to form a bond, then inheriting the true documentation of her past, more valuable than anything the courts could provide.Greg still holds out hope that his birth father will warm up more quickly to get to know him one day. Until then... ...this is Greg's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Christy, who called me from Utah, was deeply loved by her adoptive parents, who prayed she would be delivered to them. But throughout childhood, she was unable to shake the feeling of being abandoned. In reunion, Christy heard the hard truth of her conception, self-medicated to escape her feelings, then recovered to center herself in motherhood. Christy shared the importance of telling our stories, as another adoptee and journey mate did for her. This is Christy's journey.New Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Neshia, from outside of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, said her birth mother lived the street life and exposed her children to the full dark side of the choices she was making back then. Neshia credits one amazing foster family with showing her what a normal life as a child should be, but it was short-lived. Transplanted from the city into a rural transracial adoption, she was cast out as a teen, and trauma cycles repeated themselves. But today, Neshia is doing her best to be a mom to her own children, focusing on the glimmers of hope in her life. This is Neshia's journey.New Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Today is a special double adoptee episode with Noreen and Adrian. They both live in Massachusetts, but they were together in New Hampshire to meet someone special in Noreen's search. Her adoptive mother was very supportive and even spoke with her first mother.For Adrian, the maternal search has had its ups and downs, including finding a grave, but their stories ended up converging when they found each other through DNA, developed an instant bond, and have since supported each other through a shared paternal search. These are the individual and convergent journeys of Noreen and Adrian.New Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Lori, from Missouri, said that growing up she wondered who her birth mother was, but it wasn’t until she received her original birth certificate that the gravity of her identity truly hit home.Incredibly, documenting her search on social media led her to a very supportive search angel who already knew exactly who Lori was looking for.She tried to correspond with her birth mother, but Lori was blocked and rejected, leaving her with only hope for the future. Still, Lori said finding each piece has given her peace.This is Lori’s journey.New Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Sharla, from West Texas, grew up never wanting to find her birth family. But in truth, she knows she was suppressing that feeling. After a DNA test, Sharla finally figured out she had made a paternal connection, but she didn't realize how close she had actually come to meeting her birth father.Unfortunately, Sharla has gotten mixed signals from her birth mother, and now the woman has left her with negative comments. Sharla refuses to let her negativity drag her down.This is Sharla's journey.New Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Elina, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, was born in Russia. She spent her early years in her birth family’s care before moving into foster care. Then, as a minor, she finalized her own adoption before departing for America. Elina grew up as one of four adoptees, each experiencing the impacts of adoption at different stages of their lives.Elina has been contacted by her extended family, but she’s not interested in reconnecting with her birth mother. Instead, she’s focused on the deep healing work she wants to do for herself.This is Elina’s journey.New Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Angie, from Southern Maryland. Growing up, Angie was frequently defined by her skin tone, as her relationship to her adoptive parents was questioned. Her contrast against her schoolmates and surrounding community made her stand out. When Angie found her birth mother, she was welcomed home—even by the woman responsible for her placement. But her paternal reunion was marked by an unremarkable connection and vitriolic remarks, which led Angie to take control of who she keeps in her life.This is Angie’s journey.New Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Donna, from New Jersey, grew up questioning the origins of her looks. In college the uniqueness of her appearance sparked curiosity. Donna spent years with no way to locate her birth family until DNA testing presented links to her maternal and paternal families simultaneously. While it was tough to find graves on her search, Donna takes fulfillment from the acceptance she's gained and the fostering she provides to children in her community. This is Donna's journey. New Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Rosalyn spoke to me from the suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio. As a teenager, she learned the truth about her adoption at her adoptive mother’s funeral—a discovery that was revealed harshly and without warning.In reunion, Rosalyn said she found peace in the mirroring she saw with her first mother and her paternal family connections. But she refused to remain an unacknowledged secret with her birth father.Make sure you listen through to the end, where Rosalyn reveals why her informal adoption has created serious problems for some of her most basic freedoms. This is Rosalyn's journey.New Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Dr. Liz Debetta spoke to me from Plymouth, Michigan. Growing up, adoption was an open topic until her younger brother's birth changed the family's focus. A series of bad relationships and feeling lost in life led Liz back to school where she rediscovered writing and the award-winning adoption story she's always had inside.In reunion, Liz found the first mother whom she always knew wanted to know her. But herdeep exploration of her adoption has driven a wedge between Liz and her older brother. This is Liz's journey.LizDebetta.comInside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

David, and his birth mother Margaret's story of adoption relinquishment, lives lived apart but close to one another, and their brief emotional reunion is told in the book, "American Baby", written by New York Times Best Selling Author, Gabrielle Glaser. Gabrielle first met David while he was on kidney dialysis awaiting a transplant where he shared that he hoped he would find his birth mother one day. In reunion, David learned that he had always been loved, and his birth parents never forgot about him. Gabrielle share's David's journey. 

DL called me from Manhattan, New York. He talks about his youth in a home with a mother addicted to prescription medications who probably wasn’t fit to adopt. When he moved out at 18, he followed his natural talent to climb his way into the music industry. However his suspicion that his birth mother was alive, contrary to what he was told, never left him. In reunion, DL's birth mother nearly backed out of meeting him as the guilt of his relinquishment washed over her decades after her decision. Thankfully DL’s sister made sure their reunion, and his reunion with his sisters, did happen. This is DL’s journey. 

Lisa Marie chatted with me via Skype from Lake Garda in the North of Italy.In her journey you'll hear the impact of a transracial adoptee who grew up in a homogenous world that didn't look like herself, and the serendipitous meeting that allowed Lisa to free herself from part of her past. Even though she lived a world away, technology allowed her to find her birth mother and spend the entire day online with her and her birth family. In front of an intimate audience in Colorado, Lisa got the once in a lifetime opportunity to sing to one special woman sitting in the front row of her show. This is Lisa's journey. 

Isaac, from Hawaii, talks about himself as a boy who was loved, but struggled to connect with his adoptive parents in certain ways. Having left the island, a chance musical gig put him back on Hawaiian soil and in position to launch his adoption reunion search. In reunion he reconnected with both of his parents at the same time, elected to move back to Hawaii to reconnect with the land and his people, and even found that learning more about the island made him closer to his adoptive family too. This is Isaac’s journey. 

Tracey called me from Nashville, TN. She was raised in a family with a genetic trait that deeply impacted her middle sister, driving her appreciation for the power of genetic testing. Tracey knows a lot about her birth mother even though the woman rejected her twice.Process of elimination led her to her birth father, several loving siblings, and healing from the heartache of her first attempt at reunion. This is Tracey’s journey. 

Kristen, from Minnesota, was a multi-sport athlete in high school, even competing while pregnant with her daughter. She tells the story of giving birth, placing her daughter, then needing years to get her life back on track. In one incredible year, Kristen learned that her birth parents were looking for her, her daughter wanted to find her and that reunion can bring closure and healing while revealing unbelievable coincidences. Kristen talks about some of the right decisions she made in her life and some of the missteps that she wishes she would have done differently as a parent. This is Kristen's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Share Your Story Listen OnApple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25mSpotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bHTuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_StitcherPlayer FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-reallyPodbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_PodbeanYouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrHSocial MediaFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8

For Shelby, growing up as a Korean adoptee left her feeling “othered” as she didn’t quite fit into her community. The Korean school her parents tried to raise her in wouldn’t accept her either. She was forced to live in between her culture and what Americans would or would not let her be.On a heritage trip to South Korea she experienced the heavy emotions of reunion with her birth mother, the challenge of remaining a secret, and witnessed the frustrations of her brother who couldn’t locate his biological family. Shelby also gained a real compassion for her adopted mother whose reasons for adopting brought Shelby and her mother closer together. This is Shelby’s journey.The post 106 – Beautiful Truth appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.Shelby (00:02):She had been raped and she got pregnant and her parents did not want to help raise the baby. So they essentially told her like, you have to give this baby up for adoption or you can't stay here. So she felt like she had no option. And so it's been a lifetime of pain for her.Damon (00:32):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members? I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Shelby who called me from Valrico, Florida due East of Tampa for Shelby, growing up as a Korean adoptee, left her feeling othered as she didn't quite fit into her community and the Korean school, her parents tried to raise her in. Wouldn't accept her either on a heritage trip to her home country. She experienced the heavy emotion of reunion with her birth mother, the challenge of remaining a secret and witnessed the frustrations of her brother who couldn't locate his biological family. Shelby also gained a real compassion for her adopted mother who's reasons for adopting brought Shelby and her mother closer together. This is Shelby. When I spoke to Shelby. She was frantically packing and planning for a very special trip to New York with her adopted mother. She started off telling me about her adoption that originated overseas.Shelby (01:47):Well, I was adopted from South Korea when I was almost one year old and I flew over on a plane to an airport in DC. And my parents picked me up at the airport and that's where I met him for the first time. Um, my mom always tells me that the first time she held me, I just looked straight into her eyes and she, um, felt like I was asking her, are you my new mother? Now? She always gets emotional when she tells that story. And I do too. Um, I do feel like I bonded really quickly with her. I don't remember, but I just felt my life. I felt so close to my adopted mom. Um, and then when I was put into my dad's arms, I took one look at him and I immediately cried because he had glasses, blue eyes, very pale skin, that eighties moustache. So it took me a bit of time to warm up to him, but he did take off a few weeks of work, uh, so that he could connect with me and for me to become comfortable with him, that was good that he was able to do that.Damon (02:59):The family lived right here near me in silver spring, Maryland until she was five years old. When they moved to North Carolina, they spent a stint in Montana. Then back to silver spring, the family finally settled in Jupiter, Florida near West Palm beach. Shelby admits. She doesn't have many memories of those early days, but during that time, the reality of adoption hit her hard.Shelby (03:23):It was about when I was around five or six is when it finally hit me, what adoption meant. And my mom always tells me that I was devastated and heartbroken. And, um, my, my brother who was, uh, they adopted him from Korea as well. And he's two and a half years younger than me, but he, we, we are not biologically related. Um, he saw my reaction of, uh, just incessant crying. And I apparently was begging my parents to go to Korea and find her and bring, uh, my biological mother back so that she could live with me because ever since I can remember, they just told me that I was adopted and my mother gave me up out of love to give me a better life because she was so poor and so that whole narrative, that simple narrative, um, which I think is dangerous to tell a kid, it didn't make sense to me. She was so poor. Then she could come live in this big house. I thought it was a very big house. You know, why would, why would they, why would they separate us?Damon (04:34):Shelby's mother could only deliver the message to her daughter in the ways that she learned to do it. She went to conferences where adult adoptees spoke and exposed her to different narratives. So her mother did the best she could with what little information she had. And Shelby said she did something else that helped a lot.Shelby (04:53):She gave me like a lot of space to be able to talk about my feelings and emotions, especially if it had anything to do with adoption. So I always had that and I t

Sean from, Fishers, Indiana, grew up the only person of color in his entire rural town. Yet his ethnicity was hidden from him by his adoptive mother. In Reunion, Sean finally met his birth mother, but realized he needed to establish a special boundary with her to protect his adopted children. Lacking mirroring all his life, Sean finally heard one of his paternal relatives say, he looks just like someone special in their family. Sean's book is called Born Without a Race. This is Sean's journey.Born Without A Race:The Struggles and Confusion of a Racially Ambiguous Adoptee, and How He Discovered His, By Dr. Michael Bauer (Sean)New Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Santo, from Redding, PA, grew up knowing he was adopted, and that his family could have also adopted his siblings from Italy. As an adult, when a friend's wedding took him to Spain, he arrived early to make the long drive across Europe to northern Italy to be face to face with his birth mother. Santo and his team made a documentary about his life is called Il Mio Posto a Tavola, or My Place at the Table where he uncovers research about his thread in the mosaic of European children adopted into the United States. This is Santo's journey.New Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Jeff, from southern California, grew up with the knowledge of and separation anxiety about his adoption. In reunion, he found his birth mother who mirrored his looks, but who has pushed the boundaries of their relationship, and a birth father who is simply not his type of guy.Jeff is the inspirational photographer behind the adoptee focused innocent People Project. This is Jeff's journey.Jeff Forney.com/Innocent PeopleIG: @JeffForneyFB: Jeff Forney PhotographyNew Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Julie from Chicago, Illinois is rare in the world of adoption because she wasn't adopted alone. She and her identical twin sister were placed together, secure in their sense of family. The twins never sought adoption reunion until health concerns emerged for Julie in adulthood. Julie describes the initial rejection of her first mother, the misidentification of her birth father, and the eventual softening of the feelings of a mother of twins who finally needed to know that her girls were okay.This is Julie and Jenny's journey.Twice the Family: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and SisterhoodTwice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, and BelongingNew Book! Inside the Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Melissa, who called me from Harrison, Arkansas, says she always felt chosen and grateful for her adoption. But after decades of peace with her origin story, something shifted. A small-town newspaper article, a newborn daughter, and an aging parent all conspired to push her toward a search.When the time was finally right—when a DNA match opened the door to her paternal family—she stepped forward in grace, only to be met with silence on her maternal side. Melissa took a clandestine trip to see the woman her half-sisters had been blocking access to.This is Melissa’s journey.The Adoptee ExperienceWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Ryan, from Edinburgh, Scotland, grew up ashamed of his Moroccan heritage and faced bullying due to his background and religion. At 18, a letter from his mother revealed his adoption, shaking his world and leading him to hide the truth for 13 years. Ryan struggled with depression, substance abuse, and a pervasive sense of otherness. Eventually Ryan confronted his adoption trauma, seeking therapy and connecting with the adoptee community. Ryan's continues his relentless search for his birth family in Morocco. This is Ryan's journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Katie was adopted from China as a baby and raised in a predominantly white suburb south of Boston. Her adoptive family gave her a life full of opportunity—but as she grew older, the distance between who she was and the world around her only deepened. In this episode, Katie shares how her search for identity has expanded beyond finding her birth parents. She opens up about being raised without cultural mirrors, navigating the silence around her story, and reclaiming pieces of herself that were left behind.This is Katie's journey. Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

George grew up in Soviet Georgia knowing he was different—both visibly and emotionally—in a society where adoption and his sexuality were dangerous secrets. He spent his early life navigating fear, hiding truths, and surviving systems designed to silence him.When a search angel from Russia responded to a single Facebook post, everything changed. George embarked on a digital trail of late-night texts, uncovering the truth of his birth, a sister who had been searching for him for 50 years, and a family that thought he was lost forever.George shares how he’s learning to trust again—reclaiming a birthday, a name, and a history that had been buried for decades.This is George’s journey.Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Forrest's life began in chaos, abuse, and danger at home and in the foster care system. Forest says he joined the military to make an honorable exit from this life and shares the moment he found his calling as a tattoo artist to his brothers in Iraq. But when Fort decided to get his passport, the process revealed that he had been adopted by a devious woman who had taken him in, but had never told him her plans. Today he has transformed his life into one of purpose and healing. This is Forrest's journey.Angel Blue - A Song of Redemption, by Forrest LangWho Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Raised in the mountains of the midwest, Misty endured neglect and abuse when she was a child. She took matters into her own hands to separate from her family, survived a period in foster care, then was adopted by her extended family. Misty, was forced to learn what life should be like in a properly functioning family while unlearning what she had experienced in her first family. Today Misty uses lessons from her past to maintain stoicism to move forward in life.This is Misty's journey. Who Am I Really?Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Dr. Amy Geller, from Wykoff New Jersey, had had an idyllic adopted life as the youngest child and the only girl in her family. But an accidental discovery put her in front of her adoptive parents facing an uncomfortable situation and feelings she chose to bury. As a young adult, Amy was found by her birth mother, found herself angered by the intrusion, but had the presence of mind to pause to gather herself in order to enter reunion with caution. Today, Amy is a therapist and adoption researcher with an exciting new online resource called Adult-Adoptees.com.Ride with us on Peloton: #AdopteeVoicesThis is Amy's journey.Who Am I Really?**New Book: The Adoptee Experience **Who Am I Really? Website Share Your StoryDamon's story Find the show on:InstagramFacebookAppleYouTubeSpotifyGoogleTuneIn StitcherPlayer FMPodbean

Tezita (te zi TA) called me from Sacramento, CA, but she tells a harrowing story that originates in Ethiopia. Tezita’s adopted family had many other international adoptees, but she was singled out for solitary confinement. She was sent back to her homeland where she thrived mentally in a boarding school away from her adopters. When she returned she witnessed more abuse and decided she’d had enough. Kicked out of the family, she was forced to thrive independently relying on her communities in faith and adoption.This is Tezita’s journey. 

Carrie called me from Lynchburg, Virginia. In her journey you’ll hear her talk about the moment she realized she was found, and how she was in contact with her birth parents at the same time one the same day. Carrie talks about two amazing reunions: one where she got to see her birth mother in competition, the other where she got to meet her maternal and paternal siblings together. She also talks about herself as an adoptive mother to a special young man who came into her life at a time when he needed her most. This is Carrie’s journey… Carrie (00:03):One reason why it's all been so positive for me is that, you know, the minute I learned that they were looking for me, it was kind of like, Oh, well, they really did want me, you know, like they really did. You know, it wasn't like I was just discarded or somebody's secret or anything. No.Damon (00:25):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Carrie. She called me from Lynchburg, Virginia, in her journey you'll hear her talk about the moment she realized she was found and how she was in contact with her birth parents at the same time. On the same day, Carrie talks about two amazing reunions. One where she got to see her birth mother in competition, the other, where she got to meet her maternal and paternal siblings together. She also talks about herself as an adoptive mother to a special young man who came into her life at a time when he needed her most. This is Carrie's journey.Damon (01:29):I had the good fortune to interview Carrie on January 2nd, 2020. I wished her a happy new year and added what a special anniversary this day was in her life. One year ago, that day was the first time Carrie had received an email from her biological mother over the holidays. Last year, she received a generic piece of mail that looked like a credit card offer or something. So she just stuffed it in her purse and dismissed it on new year's Eve. She was cleaning out her purse when she found the correspondence that said the sender's client was looking for someone that they thought might be Carrie, the woman who sent the letter was out for the holidays. So she didn't receive Carrie's reply until she returned to the office on January 2nd, 2019. Before we get to that though, let's go back to the beginning. I mean, you didn't think we were just going to jump right into the good part. Did you? I asked Carrie to tell me about adoption for her as a kid in her family and in her community. She said she was adopted at six weeks old from Catholic family services in Roanoke, Virginia. She grew up in a small town called Alta Vista, South of Lynchburg, Virginia.Carrie (02:45):I have had the most amazing parents. I mean, I have never wanted for anything. I've never known anything other than a house full of love, um, which has been super amazing. And, um, I think actually kind of this year has really highlighted that more for me and given me a bigger sense of appreciation for all that I have had growing up,Damon (03:08):Carrie had one brother, six years older than her. So he had his own set of friends. She said she was alone a lot. So she played make-believe games, did art and entertained herself. In her small town she grew up through school with nearly all of the same friends until she went away to college. She said when she was a kid, people in the community would often say she looked like her adopted mother.Carrie (03:34):She would look at me and be like, should we tell him? And so we would always say, you know, well, I'm adopted. And so I've known, you know, since before I can remember that I was adopted, um, it's never been secret or anything, you know, I don't even really remember how I found out. Uh, I just know that I've always knownDamon (03:53):Carrie said she always got support, love, hugs, and kisses. She can't even remember any tough discipline growing up. Carrie said she could go on and on about her parents and how she shares their taste in music. She's good at fixing things like her father and she enjoys having her mother edit her writing, even though as an English teacher, she can be pretty brutal. Carrie said that as adults, she and her brother have gotten closer these days, enjoying memories with their parents. Carrie went to show on university in North Carolina, graduating with a graphic design degree, then went on to old dominion university, achieving a master's in higher education. When she met her husband back in the Hampton roads area at ODU, they decided to move back to Lynchburg. So with what sounds like a wonderful life and no gaping holes to fill in her identity, I asked if she ever wanted to search for her biological relatives, access to the internet, sparked a nascent curiosity that had her going online, adding her name to adoption registries. But it was just a mild curi

Diane called me from St. Petersburg, Florida, but her’s is a story that originated in Germany. Diane tells the story of her parents wanting to form a family with her, but her grandmother frequently talking about her adoption such that no one could ever move on. On a trip back to Germany, Diane stood in the orphanage where her story originated, but answers to her questions were not to be had. It turned out that her birth father was her first connection, and he led her back to her birth mother’s family. Diane met her birth mother’s widower who said her mother always searched for her, and made him promise to accept her if Diane were ever found.This is Diane’s journeyThe post 103 – Fixing The Fates appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.Damon (00:00):Hey there. I just wanted to take a sec to let you know that I took time to write a book about my own adoption journey. It's called, who am I really? Of course, go to who am I really? podcast.com and click shop. I hope to make it to your reading list. Okay, here's this week's show.Diane (00:22):He said, I've always wanted to meet you. She told me all about you. She told me that she was going to look for you and she did look for you that for the rest of her life she tried to find you and they couldn't. They wouldn't. They wouldn't let her have the records and he said during the 50s when they were courting, she had made him promise. She told him about me before they were married and she'd made him promise to be my father if she ever found me.Damon (00:55):Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?Damon (01:02):Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and today you're going to meet Diane. She called me from st Petersburg, Florida, but hers is a story that originated in Germany. Diane tells the story of her parents wanting to form a family with her, but her grandmother frequently talking about her adoption such that no one could ever move on. On a trip back to Germany Diane stood in the orphanage where her story originated, but answers to her questions were not to be had. Diane met her birth mother's widower who said her mother always searched for her and made him promise to accept her. If Diane were ever found. This is Diane's journey. Diane was an only child in her adopted family in Philadelphia. She says her adoptive mother was related to the people who ran the orphanage she came from in Germany.Diane (02:08):I had a kind of six degrees of separation kind of experience because my parents, my adoptive parents in Philadelphia were related to the person who ran the orphanage in Germany. Um, so what had happened was I was surrendered in a German orphanage at age one. Um, and prior to that I was in what's called a kinder home. So it's a children's home, but the mother, the biological mother can still visit you there. None of this I was aware of, but what I was aware of from a very early age and all along was that I was adopted and was that I was in a German orphanage and that my adoptive maternal grandmother's brother ran that orphanage, that he was a child psychologist. And the implication was always that, um, you know, I was lucky to escape the fate of being in that orphanage. I was lucky to have been brought to America, to these loving parents outside of Philadelphia and to be raised in this comfortable home. Um, so, so that was, my awareness was kind of a, a kind of survivor's guilt or, or a kind of a feeling of escape. Like I had escaped from something and I was just sort of like, whew, that's a good thing. You know, that's, that's past, that's behind meDamon (03:40):as a first generation immigrant family. Her adoptive mother's mother had moved to the United States from Germany and she lived close to them in Philadelphia. They had many family meals together and it was she who communicated the idea that Diane had been lucky to escape and was very proud of the fact that her brother ran the orphanage and basically brokered Diane's adoption. He had sent her parents photos of Diane and made the recommendation for her adoption.Diane (04:08):She communicated it. Um, I think she was proud of the role that she played in it. She was proud of her brother. I think my adoptive parents, they could have done with less of this story floating around all the time.Damon (04:21):Why do you say that?Diane (04:21):Um, well I think they just wanted to get on with it. Right. They were coming out of that time of loss of not being able to conceive as a young married couple and they kind of wanted to put that period behind and they didn't, I think they wouldn't have kept that story alive as much as my grandmother did. Um, you know, she was always saying, well, I, I, I'm the one who went and got you. I flew over there and we got you from the orphanage and I brought you here. And they had this film of her descending the plane steps and those days you went down