UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

I recently wrapped an amazing 3-day virtual event on goal-setting and the breakthroughs were so good that I wanted to share them with you.Tune in to this episode to learn all about why you may be closer to achieving your goal than you think, why being wrong is the GREATEST thing, and more.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/222

Society has a way of leading you to believe that the path laid out in front of you is unchangeable. But just because you see other people following the same path, doesn’t mean you have to follow it. In fact, embracing the power you have to create new ways of moving through the world is how you own your agency and create change in the world.     Today, I’m having a conversation with Trudi Lebron, one of my personal coaches, who specializes in diversity and inclusion work and creating just and ethical businesses.  Listen in as we discuss how you can create opportunities for yourself by claiming your agency, and how that can translate to creating business and institutions that treat people better.     Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/221

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be a coach or work for one? Or, perhaps, how different your experience would be if you used thought work tools at work?In this episode, you will meet one of my employees - Elana McKernan - and learn how we use coaching tools and philosophies to build our company culture and shape our work experience.Whether you are in the coaching industry or not, you will leave this episode with a better understanding of how you can utilize coaching to level up your own work experience. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/220

Do you tend to put your self-development teachers on a pedestal, taking their words as absolute truth and feeling super stressed out if you ever disagree or anyone suggests they might be wrong?You’re not alone. Most people who are drawn to self-development are looking for The Answer To Everything. But the truth is, we’re all trying to make sense of this strange experience of being a human - and the more you defer to others as an authority in your own life, the less you are able to take ownership of your experience of the world.In this episode, you will learn how to relate to YOURSELF as the ultimate authority - and why doing so will impact everything in your life. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/219

Have you ever achieved a goal in the hopes that it would make you feel more confident and less anxious, only to find yourself a week later, asking, “uuh…now what?” If you’re expecting your New Year’s resolutions (or any other achievements) to change how you feel about yourself, you are misunderstanding how your brain works and setting yourself up for disappointment.In this episode, Victoria Myers of the Nourishing Women Podcast joins me to discuss why you have to address the thoughts behind your resolutions if you want to create a new relationship with yourself. This is required listening for any of you who are considering setting big goals in 2022!Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/218

The problem with most resolutions is that they hinge on the idea that when the clocks roll over to the new year, you will become an entirely new person. In this episode, Caroline Dooner of The F*ck It Podcast will join me to discuss how to establish REALISTIC, achievable intentions or resolutions for the New Year, so that you can create the mental infrastructure to make real, lasting change in your life (but only if you want to - we’ll also cover why the premise that you need to change at all is a flawed one!). Before you sit down to write your 2022 New Year’s resolutions, listen to this episode!Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/217

You know that thing your kid (or anyone, for that matter) does that drives you insane? And how it sets you off every time? Have you ever stopped to explore why that “trigger” exists in the first place, instead of just trying to “fix” it? If you search a bit deeper, you'll find that it probably stems from your childhood, and how you were parented. Once you have the why, you can use it to uplevel not only your parenting but also your relationship with yourself.     Tune in as I talk with clinical psychologist, Dr. Becky Kennedy, and we discuss how triggers can serve an essential role in our overall system, why they exist, and what you can do about them.     Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/216

Your biggest obstacle to mind-blowing pleasure isn’t your partner’s inability to find your g-spot or your inability to find a partner or your limited drawer of sex toys...it’s actually your thoughts.If you find yourself stressing about your appearance during sex (solo or with a partner!), worrying about your partner’s pleasure more than your own, or feeling like your desire is dependent on whether someone desires you, tune in to this interview with August McLaughlin from Girl Boner Radio. In it, we explore some common orgasm-blocking thoughts, and how to rewire your brain so you can jump-start your libido.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/215

Do you think that you have to be mean to yourself to achieve your goals? Our culture conditions us to associate self-criticism with achievement, and to believe that if we’re kind to ourselves as we pursue our goals, we’ll never get sh*t done.Here to challenge that narrative is bestselling author, lawyer, syndicated daytime talk show host, and motivational speaker Mel Robbins. Tune in to learn about how Mel came to realize that her self-critical habits were harming her more than they were helping her, and how you can achieve more than you ever thought possible by motivating yourself with kindness.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/214

Coaching is like magic when you’ve identified a “problem” and want help creating something new in your life. But what about the times that you genuinely, truly, cannot figure out what the fuck is going on with your brain? When you’re feeling angry, sad, or lost and you can’t pinpoint why for weeks or months or even years at a time?Tune in to this week’s podcast to learn how to hold space for yourself even when you don’t understand what’s happening in your brain - and how to turn these experiences into an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with yourself.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/213

Many women have the sense that they’re not good enough or worthy enough unless other people think they are. Why? Because society has taught us that we need to put everyone else’s needs before our own, and so we develop some codependent thought patterns to evaluate our worth. Instead of learning to validate ourselves, we rely on outside approval to feel good about ourselves.This week, I’m talking to Victoria Albina, nurse practitioner-turned-life coach, about how this codependency affects our nervous systems and can impair our brains’ abilities to function. Tune in to find out how to regulate your nervous system, how to stop people-pleasing and seeking external validation, and how to believe that you’re already worthy - starting today.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/212

Have you ever set out on a journey of self-love only to find that the path wasn’t as easy or straightforward as you thought?In this week’s episode, I talk to clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali Tsabary about how to have a radical awakening (which happens to be the title of her newest book) that leads to uncovering the beliefs and patterns that you have today, so that you can move them out of your way on your journey to loving yourself.Tune in to find out why radical self-awareness without compassion for yourself is not *real* self-awareness, and how you can have a radical awakening of your own.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/211

How often do you find yourself obsessing over what another person is thinking? In this Greatest Hits episode, you will learn why focusing on other people’s thoughts and feelings is a losing game, and how to set yourself free by focusing on your own thoughts and feelings. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/210

Feminist coaching isn’t just for radical leftists or people who identify as progressive. In today’s episode, you will meet two life coaches who graduated from my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching program and who identify as more politically and religiously conservative than I do. Tune into this podcast to find out how these coaches incorporated feminist principles into their coaching practices - and their lives - while remaining true to their personal beliefs (and how you can, too!)Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/209

Whatever your personal belief system and religious background, if you are a human in the world, then it’s likely that you have been impacted by patriarchal religious ideologies.On today’s podcast, you will meet a very special guest coach and graduate of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching Certification program, Amy Logan. Amy calls herself the Ex-Mormon Coach and she helps people who are on the other side of Mormonism reconcile their new identity. Tune in to gain insight into Amy’s journey of questioning and eventually choosing to leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/208

As coaches, we know that our thoughts create our results, right? But in order to coach our clients effectively on their thoughts, we have to understand the CONTEXT from which these thoughts emerged. Someone whose cultural history involves persecution and multigenerational trauma may not resonate with the coaching that “everything will happen as it’s meant to,” just as someone who has learned explicitly and implicitly that their sexuality is wrong or bad won’t respond to coaching that does not take this history into account. In this episode, you will learn how approaching your clients with radical curiosity and learning to spot how their thoughts have been shaped by their cultural context will enable you to coach clients with lived experiences that differ from your own. In this special episode, guest coaches Rachel Hart and Dr. Sonia Wright join Kara Loewentheil for a conversation about why understanding your clients’ context is so important, and how committing to curiosity and nonjudgment will help you navigate your own blind spots as a coach. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/otwb5

Are you worried that wanting more money is greedy? Does talking or even thinking about money make you uncomfortable? Whether you love money and want more of it, think money is the root of all evil, or anywhere in between, this episode will help you understand why unf*cking your thoughts around money is such an important feminist issue.You will meet three graduates from my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching program - Chernique Vertus, Keli Jackson, and Natasha Tekeste - for a frank conversation about why women find it so controversial to want money, what keeps women from making more money, why making money is a social justice issue, and how to use coaching tools to shift your money mindset.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/207

Many coaches believe that once they become certified, they will be equipped with the tools to coach anyone on anything. It’s a lovely thought, but maybe not so helpful when you’re in your tenth session with a client who just stares at you blankly as you try to explain, for the 50th time, how their thoughts are creating their results and why that’s a great thing. While there are certainly powerful frameworks out there, the coaching principles we learn aren’t one-size-fits-all. One single tool or framework isn’t going to work for everybody, and that’s ok. In this episode, Kara Loewentheil and Simone Seol will discuss how to bring more openness, nuance, and discernment into your coaching, so you can coach clients of different backgrounds and lived experiences effectively. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/otwb4

Does saying “no” make you feel like you’re going to die? Are you so fixated on taking care of everybody around you that you neglect yourself? People socialized as women are taught that they are responsible for everyone else’s thoughts and feelings, and that their value comes from taking care of others…so it’s no wonder that so many of us struggle with people-pleasing.On this episode, you will meet three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students - Maggie Reyes, Sara Fisk, and Sonia Wright - for a conversation about where people-pleasing comes from, how it manifests in their clients, and how to interrupt your people-pleasing habit. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/206

Coaching tools didn’t descend from the heavens. They were developed by humans whose social context impacted the way they saw the world and their clients, including what they even viewed as a “problem” to be solved in the first place. In other words, those coaching modalities that you know and love? Yeah, those were made up. Before you abandon all meaning and run off into the woods, tune into this episode to learn why understanding this is exactly what will elevate your coaching. Kara Loewentheil and Simone Seol will discuss how learning the intellectual history of modern coaching concepts and embracing the subjectivity of coaching modalities will help you deliver powerful coaching to clients with radically different backgrounds and beliefs than you. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/otwb3

Are you hesitant to identify as a feminist? Conversely, do you struggle to understand why any woman WOULDN’T want to identify as a feminist? Cultural messaging around what feminism means is so pervasive that even proud feminists often have to shed cultural narratives that feminists are angry, humorless man-haters. When you look at the history of feminism through an intersectional lens, it becomes even clearer why some women - especially BIPOC women - may not identify with the movement.In this episode, I am joined by four of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching (ACFC) graduates to discuss their discomfort with the label prior to joining the certification, and how ACFC changed their relationship to feminism. Whether you strongly identify as a feminist, or you’re unsure about whether you want to be one and what that even means, this episode will help you understand your own blind spots around why other people may not relate to this movement as you do.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/205

Do you understand how the legacies of slavery, colonialism, and genocide have shaped the world we live in? If not, you are missing an incredible opportunity to deepen your coaching and serve your clients and the world. In this episode, coaches Kara Loewentheil and Simone Seol will teach you how you can avoid whitewashing your coaching by understanding your historical context, the context of your clients, and the context of the coaching industry as a whole. Listen in to learn why broadening your historical literacy is so vital to creating a coaching business that meets the demands of a multicultural world. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/otwb2

Are you a coach or thought work aficionado who wishes the industry would step it up to meet the demands of a complicated multi-cultural world? In this special episode, you will get a preview of a brand new podcast that I created with my dear friend and fellow life coach, Simone Seol: Outside the White Box: Elevating the Coaching Conversation. This is the first episode of a limited series that will weave together unofficial expertise in history, sociology, anthropology and thought work to challenge the “white box” of mainstream self-development and elevate the coaching conversation. Tune in to learn all about how to elevate the industry by embracing complexity in your marketing.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/204

Do you love setting goals and imagining what your life will be like when you achieve them? And then do you spend so much time living in this imagined future that you skip the part where you actually have to, you know, build the habits required to achieve that goal?If so, you’re not alone. But you’re also missing the crucial ingredient for success: Taking consistent, imperfect action toward your goal. Tune in to this episode to learn why habit formation is the REAL key to changing your life - and how the concept of goal sobriety will help you achieve your dreams. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/203

Do you analyze text messages from romantic interests like you’re peering into into a crystal ball, constantly scanning for evidence of their interest (or lack thereof)? Do you feel like your future happiness is completely at the mercy of the dating apps? In this episode, conscious dating and relationship coach Clara Artschwager and I dig into common dating anxieties and teach you how to let go of dating anxiety for good.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/202

Patriarchal beliefs are so ingrained in our society and social conditioning that they permeate how we view the world, others, and ourselves. In this episode, I am joined by global speaker, life coach, and author Andrea Owen to discuss a 4-step process to unlearning your internalized patriarchy so you can figure out what you REALLY want in life and make some noise in the world running toward it.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/201

Even if you’re not a Brené Brown fan, you probably think that vulnerability is a powerful way to build intimacy in a relationship. But did you know vulnerability is even MORE powerful when you use it to strengthen your relationship with yourself? Learn how in this greatest hits episode.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/200

Are you waiting until next year to pursue a big, audacious goal? New Year’s Resolutions are like catnip to perfectionists, but in this episode, I’ll walk you through how to achieve a goal at ANY time, of ANY size, without using it against yourself. Tune into this episode to learn how to work WITH your perfectionist brain to blow your mind in the next few months of this year.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/199

Most people think of creativity as the ability to make art - to paint, sing, write, sculpt, etc. But even if you don’t consider yourself a “creative person,” you are creating your life, every day - your relationships, your career path, even the food you eat for lunch.In today’s episode, I’m joined by three graduates from my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching course - Elana McKernan, Judith Gaton, and Kori Linn - to discuss how you can use coaching tools to claim your creative authority and create ANYTHING you want in life. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/198

Do you believe that goals are only worthwhile if they seem extremely challenging? Do you worry about what will happen if you set a goal that is literally impossible to achieve? Do you start out eager to create a new habit and then do a complete 180 and want to rebel against the new “rule” you’ve created for yourself?In this Listener QA episode, I’m working through common challenges that listeners face when setting and working toward their goals. Tune in to learn how to use coaching tools to set great goals and then overcome all your brain’s drama in order to achieve them.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/197

Do you struggle to find work-life balance? Women are socialized to believe that they can have (and should WANT to have) it “all” - and then they experience pressure to create work-life balance for themselves. But the concept of balance (and the idea of what women should want) is a gendered and economically privileged one.In today’s episode, I’m joining four amazing graduates from my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching program for a conversation about how to define what having it all looks like on YOUR terms, and how to think about the idea of a “balanced” life in a way that serves you.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/196

Do you find yourself judging or doubting your decisions all the time? Do you tend to defer to the advice of friends, corporations, media, and even strangers rather than trusting yourself? You’re not alone. Women have been conditioned to see everyone BUT ourselves as the expert on their lives. In today’s episode, you will learn how to claim authority over your life and go from hesitation and confusion to unapologetically owning your life and taking powerful actions every day.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/195

Tune into today’s Listener Q&A episode for an exploration of some common areas in which the patriarchy f*cks with our brains. You will learn how to use coaching tools to deprogram patriarchal conditioning so you can: feel great about getting help with domestic tasks, stop feeling like you’re in competition with other women, stop shaming yourself for feeling proud of your accomplishments because you think you should be more “humble,” and more. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/194

Do you worry about the future? Do you stress and plan for a hundred different “worst case” scenarios in the hopes that doing so will make you more “prepared” for what’s to come? Humans evolved to fear uncertainty above all else, which kept us safe from starving to death or being eaten by a predator…but now, it’s a recipe for crippling anxiety. Tune into today’s podcast to learn how to solve your uncertainty problem so you can transform your fear into peace and acceptance.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/193

On today’s episode, you’ll get to meet Hannah Berner, a hilarious stand-up comedian, host of the “Berning in Hell” podcast, and a member of Bravo TV’s “Summer House.” As someone who is not connected to the life coaching/self-help field, Hannah will offer a new perspective on how thought work plays a role in her life and her experiences. Our conversation will help you understand the messaging that women absorb from society that keeps them doubting themselves and their value, and how to use coaching tools to feel happier in your professional life and your personal life (no matter what your goals are).Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/192

Most of us believe we’re at the mercy of things that we feel triggered by. We blame them, we avoid them, and we even avoid thinking about them. But what if the kindest thing you could do for yourself was to lean in and get curious about them? In today’s episode, you will learn how to use coaching tools to turn intense negative emotions into opportunities for growth.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/191

Sure, we all want to have a better body image…but what does that actually look like in practice? In this week’s Listener Q&A episode, you will get concrete advice on how to use coaching tools to improve your relationship with your body. Tune in to learn why your weight is NOT an accurate barometer for your health, how to let go of old stories that have kept you feeling powerless around food, how to use coaching tools to help with symptoms of PMS or other hormonal imbalances, and more.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/190

Tune into this episode to learn: 1) How you are way more creative than you think you are, 2) why you have to ACCEPT your current reality in order to change it, 3) what self-love REALLY means (spoiler: it doesn’t require feeling blissed-out and in love with yourself 100% of the time), and 4) what you’ve gotten wrong about human nature (and why that’s actually a good thing).Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/189

What do a feminist life coach and a Mormon life coach have in common? A lot, it turns out, when it comes to thought work. On today’s episode, you will meet Jody Moore, mother of four, friend and colleague, and the most influential Mormon life coach in the world. Tune in to learn about the history of our unlikely friendship, how coaching has enabled us to have difficult conversations with people who have beliefs that conflict with ours, why it’s imperative to step out of black and white thinking in order to achieve any goal, and more.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/188

Have you ever struggled to forgive someone? You’re not alone, but thought work can help. Tune into this week’s Greatest Hits podcast episode to learn how your resistance to forgiveness is harming YOU, and then learn a simple process that will allow you to forgive anyone (including and especially yourself).Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/187

Is the current online accountability discourse a productive, meaningful, and proportional response to systemic injustice? Or is it a punitive expression of a carceral mob mentality? In the second part of this special two-part series, I invited three of my colleagues and advanced certification students - Master Coach Brenda Lomeli, Master Coach Brig Johnson, and Clutch Coach Amber Taylor - to have a nuanced discussion about why so many women fear being “canceled,” how online accountability conversations emerged from restorative justice practices, and why it’s so important to unpack any strong reactions you are having to the concept.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/186

Whether you call it call-in culture, consequence culture or "cancel culture,” you likely have an opinion about the current online accountability discourse. On this special two-part series, I invited three of my colleagues and advanced certification students - Master Coach Brenda Lomeli, Master Coach Brig Johnson, and Clutch Coach Amber Taylor - to discuss the range of actions and conversations that get lumped together, sometimes unhelpfully, in this movement. Join us for the first part of the conversation in which we explore accountability in the context of white supremacy, racial and social justice, online social dynamics, and psychology.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/185

Do you believe that you have to quit your job in order to take any action on starting your dream business? That you can only be happy if you have a very specific kind of life? That you have to cut someone out of your life because they did something you dislike? These are all examples of black and white thinking, one of the most pervasive - and limiting - ways of looking at the world. Tune in to learn how embracing shades of grey will open up your life and expand your impact in the world.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/184

Do you have a phobia or fear that you want to get under control? Do you want more out of life, but struggle with indecision and confusion about how to change? Have you ever wondered why some people thrive in certain environments, while others have to coach themselves a ton just to make it through the day? In today’s Listener Q&A episode, I’ll explore these questions and more.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/183

Are your efforts to challenge sexism, racism, and other oppressive systems leaving you frustrated, overwhelmed, and burnt out? Tune in to this week’s Greatest Hits episode to learn how to use coaching tools to create social change without draining yourself or feeling angry all the time. When you learn how to liberate yourself from fear and judgment, you create endless energy to liberate the world.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/182

Because discussions about abortion tend to be so polarized, it can be difficult to unpack your thoughts and feelings about the decision, even though more than 1/3 of Americans will have an abortion in their lifetime. This week, I’m joined by Amanda Kingsley, a Certified Life Coach, Doula and host of the Speaking Light Into Abortion podcast, to explore the prevailing thoughts many women have about their abortions - and how to let go of unnecessary pain and suffering around the decision.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/181

Do you ever feel shame scanning the self-help aisle of the bookstore? Do you roll your eyes when you see life coaches offering self-help courses on your IG/FB feed? It may surprise you, but the embarrassment or shame you feel toward self help is 100% internalized patriarchy. In today’s episode, you will learn why self help has more in common with ancient philosophical traditions than with self-indulgent spa trips, and why your own self-help practice is so important.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/180

Do you tend to make rejection mean there’s something “wrong” with you? Have you ever wondered how to know when a relationship is “toxic”? Do you struggle with a partner who is more extroverted than you are? In today’s Listener Q&A episode, I’ll answer some of your most burning relationship questions and share the role thought work can play in common relationship issues.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/179

You may think you aren’t close to achieving a goal until you’re 99% of the way there and the finish line is in view. But actually, the biggest distance you can cover is in taking your first few steps toward your goal. Going from inaction to action is INFINITE growth. Once you’ve done that? You can just repeat the process until you reach your destination. In this Greatest Hits episode, you will learn how minuscule steps create exponential growth.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/178

Do you torture yourself on the way to a goal, in the hopes that you’ll feel different when you “get there?” Do you think of goals as shiny gold coins to collect in order to feel better about yourself? Do you undermine or discount your accomplishments? Tune into this episode for some mind-blowing wisdom from a live event I hosted earlier this year. You will learn how to reframe everything from your relationship to goal-setting, and learn how to develop the single most important skill to uplevel your growth.Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/177