The Jayson Gaddis Podcast

Fathers in today’s culture are often expected to do more and be more than in the past—and it can be a challenge. At the same time, fatherhood can be an integral part of your spiritual growth and vice versa. It might feel like each segment of your life is in its own little box, but the reality is that they all affect each other even if we don’t realize it. Join me for this week’s episode as fatherhood coach Dan Doty and I discuss fatherhood, spirituality, and bonding with your kids. Useful Links: https://dandoty.com/ http://relationshipschool.com/getcoachingnow https://www.gettingtozerobook.com/ https://relationshipschool.com/lytyoga https://www.instagram.com/danieldoty/  

What’s the difference between coaching and therapy—and how can you tell which one you might need? Actually, both serve a specific purpose and can work together depending on your needs. Check out this week’s podcast episode, where I break down the differences and the reasons you would seek out coaching versus therapy.   Useful Links: http://relationshipschool.com/mrc https://www.gettingtozerobook.com/ http://relationshipschool.com/group

Maybe you feel like you might be codependent (or at least have the tendencies)...which might mean you’re codependent-ish. Did you know that’s a thing? If you’d like to learn more about what it looks like, check out this week’s podcast episode. I talk about just what it means to be codependent-ish and help you discover whether you might be. Tune in to the full episode below for more.   Useful Links: relationshipschool.com/codependent-ish https://www.facebook.com/groups/codependentish/ http://relationshipschool.com/mrc https://www.gettingtozerobook.com/ http://relationshipschool.com/group

When you’re in a relationship, it’s important to choose your partner— daily. As men, we often have been programmed to deal with things a certain way (or not deal with them at all), and we most likely expect our partners to do the same. But in order to have a successful relationship, it’s crucial to choose your partner over what you may want in the moment—whether that would be running away or shutting down or escaping. Check out this week’s podcast episode with Bryan Reeves, self-proclaimed relationship insight ninja, on how he learned to choose his partner and move toward a new level of relationship growth.     Useful Links: https://bryanreeves.com/ https://www.instagram.com/bryanreevesinsight/ http://relationshipschool.com/mrc https://www.gettingtozerobook.com/ http://relationshipschool.com/group

Parenting is an important subject, as we all know—whether you are a parent or have only been parented. Regardless, parenting and family dynamics affect us all in some way. In this week’s episode, Ellen and I share the six best parenting tips we’ve gathered in our experiences and our studies that will help you navigate relationships with your children, your parents, or even other adults. Listen to the full episode here.   Useful Links: http://relationshipschool.com/mrc https://www.gettingtozerobook.com/

Marriage and relationships require give and take on both sides. But what if you feel like you’re giving a lot more than your partner is—or vice versa? How do you get past the conflict and competition aspects of a relationship and reach a place where you can experience a balanced, more fulfilled relationship? Check out this week’s episode where I talk to Nate Klemp, author and marriage anthropologist, who has some great things to say.   Useful Links: https://www.8080marriage.com/ https://www.instagram.com/8080marriage/ https://www.nateklemp.com/ https://relationshipschool.com/lytyoga http://relationshipschool.com/mrc https://www.gettingtozerobook.com/  

Navigating money fears in relationships can be a big source of conflict, but finance guru Garrett Gunderson has tons of knowledge to help. As with anything in life, balance is key. In this week’s episode, Garrett and I talk about finding that balance and following a path of growth by learning from your past. Mindset is a great place to start, and Garrett shows how balancing your mindset can affect every area of your life, including your finances. Check out the episode. Useful Links: http://www.garrettgunderson.gg/ https://wealthfactory.com/ https://relationshipschool.com/lytyoga http://relationshipschool.com/mrc https://www.gettingtozerobook.com/

As men, we sometimes aren’t sure how to show love for our partners in a way that makes them feel loved. We stick with what’s comfortable for us. Check out today’s podcast episode for one mindset shift to help men show love and care to that special person. Useful Links: http://relationshipschool.com/mrc  

If you’re a parent, you know that bringing a new human into your life is a drastic change. It can be difficult to maintain a balance with your own needs, the needs of your partner, and the needs of your baby, especially for the first few years. If you and your partner aren’t prepared, it can also be problematic for the parent-child relationship. Listen as I talk with Dr. Stan Tatkin and Kara Hoppe about how better partners make better parents, their new book Baby Bomb, and how learning to be interdependent creates a safe and healthy relationship “cushion” for the whole family. Useful Links https://www.instagram.com/karahoppe/ Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents https://www.thepactinstitute.com/

Spiritual growth and relational growth are both important to experience. But where do the two intersect? It can be difficult to bring your experience and discomfort into a relationship as it is; how do two people learn to do this as a unit? In this episode, my wife, Ellen, and I discuss the reason individual spiritual work can’t always fix relational problems and how to keep from getting stuck as a couple.   Useful Links: http://relationshipschool.com/challenge http://relationshipschool.com/training https://ellenboeder.com/

Where do power and pleasure overlap in a relationship—or do they? Both power and pleasure can have negative connotations, but as coach Shana James and I discuss, feeling empowered in a relationship can lead to pleasure for you and your partner. Learn how knowing yourself and being in touch with your body can actually provide more pleasure for your partner, both in and out of the bedroom.    Useful Links: https://shanajamescoaching.com/ http://relationshipschool.com/challenge https://relationshipschool.site/podcast258 https://relationshipschool.com/lytyoga Power and Pleasure: A Man's Guide to Becoming a Confident and Satisfied Lover and Leader  

Spiritual well-being can be an amazing thing… But is it stunting your personal growth? This week, Psychotherapist Robert Masters and I talk about the dangers of spiritual bypassing, and why it’s so prevalent in today’s wellness culture. To learn more about spiritual bypassing, and how you can avoid it, tune into my recent podcast.   Useful Links: http://relationshipschool.com/training http://relationshipschool.com/challenge https://relationshipschool.com/lytyoga https://www.robertmasters.com/

Have you ever watched parents and wondered “WTF is going on there?”  Lol. Me too.  My wife and I do our best to try to help parents be a team. It can be very hard, especially when it’s often a “divide and conquer” approach due to our busy lives. I get it. there’s a place for that.  But many parents fall into “roles” and traps inside their marriage.  In this episode we cover one of the biggest traps many parents fall into, and what to do about it.  Check it out. Useful Links: http://relationshipschool.com/training http://relationshipschool.com/challenge

Do you feel lost when it comes to healing family issues or dealing with a resistant partner? This week’s episode features Annie Lalla, a podcast fave, and we discuss these issues plus the dojo of partnership, spiritual narcissism, channeling conflict into growth, and more. Annie has done some deep healing with her family, so she’s got a wealth of wisdom to share. You won’t want to miss this!  Check out the episode here.

How much intimacy can you tolerate?  To dig into this and understand what you might be avoiding, listen to this short ten minute podcast. https://www.jaysongaddis.com/how-much-intimacy-can-you-tolerate/

There‘s one mistake I see many parents make. They try to shield their kids from any challenge & failure. But as a consequence, they never learn to deal with frustration and give up at the slightest sign of resistance instead. In this week‘s episode, teacher, author, and parenting expert Jessica Lahey joins me in a deep discussion about parenting. How can we make kids succeed? Why is intrinsic motivation so important? And what is Jessica‘s number one advice for parents? If you‘re curious to find out, listen here.   Useful Links: https://www.jessicalahey.com/ https://twitter.com/jesslahey https://www.instagram.com/teacherlahey/ http://relationshipschool.com/challenge https://relationshipschool.com/lytyoga

Do you really know yourself? Being self-aware is essential to unfold your full potential and make the right decisions in life.   In this week's episode, Erin Claire Jones and I talk about what human design is and how it can help you on your journey to achieve strong, meaningful relationships. If you're curious to find out what Erin has to say and want to deepen your self-awareness, listen here.   Useful Links: http://relationshipschool.com/challenge https://relationshipschool.com/lytyoga https://erinclairejones.com/

In today’s episode, I talk with Dr. Tina Bryson on how to take back the power in your relationship with your child by setting boundaries. Dr. Bryson explains resilience comes from not bailing your child out when things aren’t going their way. It’s better to go through that difficult moment with them. If you want to have a game plan for your child’s next tantrum, this episode is for you.4:15 Introducing Tina Payne Bryson and her new book. Shownotes: 4:15 Introducing Tina Payne Bryson and her new book 9:50 The ambiguity of good parenting practices 16:25 Interesting facts for parents to keep in mind 23:30 Attachment parenting 37:10 Children spending time on screens and isolating themselves 48:40 Is there a spectrum for secure attachment? 56:35 Advice for single parents to support their children in difficult times 1:03:20 Action Step Useful Links https://www.tinabryson.com/ https://www.instagram.com/tinapaynebryson/ http://relationshipschool.com/challenge https://relationshipschool.com/lytyoga

Have you ever found yourself putting on a mask to fit in? Were you afraid others might notice and call you out? If so, you‘ve experienced Impostor Syndrome – the fear of being exposed as someone you‘re not, just like an impostor. In this week‘s episode, you‘ll learn why we experience it, what it means for your relationships and how you can start overcoming it today with the Two-Step Action Plan. If you‘ve suffered from Impostor Syndrome (or still do), this is life-changing for you. Take a listen.   Useful Links: Accepted and connected event http://relationshipschool.com/challenge https://relationshipschool.com/lytyoga  

How do you set healthy boundaries? Boundaries are essential to draw a clear line between what‘s ok for you and what‘s not. Without them, you‘ll sooner or later end up feeling exhausted, hurt, or even resentful towards your partner. In this week‘s episode, I talk with licensed psychotherapist and author Terri Cole about codependency and how you can overcome it by being a „boundary boss“. If you want to find out, listen here. Shownotes: 4:00 The relationship between codependency and boundaries 8:40 High-functioning codependency vs regular codependency 11:20 The cost of high-functioning codependency 20:10 Codependent Relationship dynamics 26:20 How to overcome codependency by setting boundaries 35:40 Action Step Useful Links: https://boundaryboss.me/ https://boundaryboss.me/jayson Accepted and connected event http://relationshipschool.com/training https://relationshipschool.com/lytyoga

Have you ever wanted to say something, but decided not to say it because you were afraid to? This week’s podcast features Kimberly Ann Johnson, we’ll talk about how to own our own space as people and learn to communicate better. We also talk about how our physiology affects our connections and reactions to things in relationships especially with things that cause conflict.   Lots of deep stuff here take a listen! Shownotes:  5:35 The predator-prey dynamic 16:25 A healthy predator role for women 21:25 How our genders are perceived around these dynamics. 34:40 The unhealthy side of the predator 41:35 How to get in touch with your healthy predator 52:35 Final Advice 54:15 Action Step Useful Links: https://kimberlyannjohnson.com/ Accepted and connected event http://relationshipschool.com/training https://relationshipschool.com/lytyoga  

Have you found yourself feeling completely disconnected from meaning in your life? If so, you definitely need to check out this week’s podcast. It’s all about finding meaning in your life through relationships. There’s meaning in conflict, suffering, and just about every experience you have. Take a listen. Useful Links: Accepted and connected event http://relationshipschool.com/community https://relationshipschool.com/lytyoga

How can you get back together with your partner after breaking up?  As you will discover in the podcast, getting back together with your partner as a team takes commitment, honesty, and a sincere willingness to communicate without placing blame.  If you want to know how to get back together after a breakup as a team, go ahead and take a listen. Shownotes: 0:00 Introduction Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath 4:45: Explaining the reasons that caused their breakup. 12:45 Deciding to break up and how to do it. 18:00 Carrying issues from one relationship to another. 28:05 The evolution of their attachment dynamics 42:30 The process of reconciliation to get back together. 53:50 Final advice. 58:10 Action Step Useful Links: Accepted and connected event https://www.kyliemcbeath.com/ https://createthelove.com/ https://markgroves.com/

Did you know there are only 5 types of fights you can have in your relationship? The causes for them are more deeply rooted than you think… It’s true - if you want to be successful in your relationship you need to know how to identify them and work through them with your partner. In this episode, I explain the 5 most common types of arguments couples have and how to overcome them. If you want to restore peace in your relationship this episode is for you.   Useful Links: Accepted and connected event https://relationshipschool.com/ 

Are you aware of all the benefits meditation provides—both for yourself and for your relationships? This week, I talk with meditation teacher and author Sharon Salzberg about all the impacts of being with, loving, and being aware of yourself. With 47 years of study and experience, Sharon shares from her wealth of knowledge with me, and it’s very enlightening. You’ll want to hear what she has to say.  Shownotes 0:00 Introduction 10:00 Launching her own meditation trainings 14:32 Learning to be with oneself 19:55 What’s the purpose of meditation? 28:25 Learning about self-love 32:20 Is it necessary to love yourself before getting into a relationship? 35:45 When meditation can help and when it’s necessary to get external help 41:05 Recognizing and dealing with stress and self-judgment 46:15 The importance of your commitment to meditation Useful Links: https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/ Real Change: Mindfulness to Heal Ourselves and the World https://relationshipschool.com/training

This week, Devorah Heitner and I talk about kids, privacy, and screen time. Especially during the pandemic, it’s important to find a balance between getting things done, connecting with others, staying creative...and not going overboard digitally. Finding that balance is difficult enough for adults in this “new normal,” and we have to think about kids as well. As someone who has done a lot of research in this area, Devorah can provide great insights and tips, so you won’t want to miss this episode. Shownotes: 0:00 Introduction to Devorah Heitner, Ph.D. 6:05 Problems with how young people use social media 19:20 Boredom and using devices to avoid dealing with some emotions 25:20 Screen time is not the only thing to worry about with your kids 33:50 Is there an appropriate age to give a kid a phone? 38:55 Useful resources on Devorah’s book 40:15 Sharing pictures or videos of your kids on social media 46:10 Action step Useful Links: https://courses.raisingdigitalnatives.com/ 1:1 Coaching for families  Take the quiz: How Screenwise are you? https://relationshipschool.com/training

Did you know there are only two ways to end a relationship? It’s true—just two. And whether you’re the one initiating the ending or you’re the receiver of the break, the way you handle it can reveal a lot about the person you are. In this week’s podcast, I discuss the best ways to deal with a relationship’s end, plus some ways to reframe the situation into something that can help you in the future. This applies to any relationships: work or business, friendships, teams...it doesn’t have to be your partnership. If you’d like to know what can help you avoid disastrous relationship endings, take a listen. Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training http://relationshipschool.com/challenge

This week, a very close friend Keith Kurlander joins me in a very inspiring discussion on mental health and overcoming mental illness. His story is beyond incredible. Seriously. I’ve actually never met anyone that has overcome mental illness so successfully. Keith is a true warrior. And, he’s a solid guide for others too. If you or someone you know struggles with mental health issues, this is a must-listen. Shownotes: 0:00 Introduction and life story: Keith Kurlander 11:05 The impact of medications on the treatment of mental illness 12:55 Finding ways to help yourself by practicing spirituality 17:40 What triggered Keith to work on his mental health 23:25 How Keith’s life was affected by his mental health 26:45 Using Ayahuasca as an experimental treatment 35:05 Useful treatments for mental health 39:25 How relationships can help you overcome mental illnesses 43:45 Ketogenic diet in a nutshell 45:00 Understanding your own mental heath 51:35 How being aligned with your life’s purpose helps you balance your life 59:05 Action Step Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training https://psychiatryinstitute.com/ https://psychiatryinstitute.com/podcast/ https://www.psychiatriccenters.com/ https://keithkurlander.com/    

In this week’s podcast, my wife Ellen and I answer a common question: What do we do with this person who is saying they don't need anything? We posted a short video on this, and it received so many comments we thought we’d elaborate. Listen in as we unpack this question and give you tips on what to do.   Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training How To Communicate Your Need For Space In A Relationship – Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder – 318 How To Communicate Your Need For Connection In A Relationship – Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder – 319   

Ever wonder what our Relationship Coach Training (RCT) students go through to become relationship coaches? Curious to know what you can gain from taking RCT? In this week’s podcast, seven RCT students, who are halfway through the course, share their personal experiences and offer insight about their journeys in becoming a relationship coach. During this conversation, I felt my heart expand many times. It’s so incredible what these students are experiencing. This group is pretty dynamic as they all come from different walks of life and career backgrounds. I asked them some questions on how the RCT course has helped them with their current relationships and parenting, how it influenced their self-growth and what their aspirations are after they finish the course and become relationship coaches. We got into a very candid conversation that you do not want to miss. Here’s one of the other questions I asked them: What is your biggest takeaway so far in this course? If you want to know the answer to this question and curious to learn what this group of RCT students is gaining from the course, I invite you to listen to the podcast. Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training https://relationshipschool.com/level1-rct

How do you deal with past traumas that get triggered in your daily life? Are you unsure why certain interactions in your current relationship get you so upset?  This week, trauma legend Dr. Peter Levine joins me in a discussion where we dive deep into how his somatic experiencing method helps with the healing of trauma and other physiological and stress disorders.  If you’re interested to learn about a body-oriented and neurobiological approach to healing trauma, I invite you to listen to this one. Shownotes: 2:35 Introduction Peter Levine 6:30 What differentiates people who can overcome trauma and find meaning on it 15:55 Practical tools you can use to help others and yourself to heal trauma 26:35 The importance of listening to your body 33:15 Being present and experiencing emotions as passive observers 46:20 The relation between trauma and feeling angry 49:40 Are past generations stronger than new ones? 52:35 Recreating traumas as a way to heal them 1:02:05 Action step     Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/blog/details/1024/video-peter-levines-secret-to-releasing-trauma-from Books: https://www.somaticexperiencing.com/se-books Ergos Institute (his primary company now): SE student Master Classes, Public Courses, and FREE SE resources: https://www.somaticexperiencing.com/ergos Somatic Experiencing Institute: 8-module Professional SE training, Intro to SE, and educational webinars: https://www.somaticexperiencing.com/se-trauma-institute

What happens when someone you care about gets difficult to handle? Let's say they raise their voice at you or give you the silent treatment. Whatever triggers you, you get upset because they're behaving in an upsetting way.  So, how do you deal? What do you do? Our reaction speaks volumes about how we do relationships.  In this week’s podcast, I answered this question from one of our listeners' posts in The Relationship School Facebook group:  Can you explain the distinction between being calm and regulated?  If you want to know the answer to this question and get tips on how to self-regulate, I invite you to listen to my new podcast. Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training

Our modern society presents us with the mythology that answers these philosophical questions like "Who am I?" or "What’s my purpose in life?” But once we answer all those questions through the story of separation, then what is the alternative? What does interbeing mean to you?  This week, author Charles Eisenstein, joins me in a very interesting discussion on how his journey of personal growth played an important role in his development and influenced his body of work on separation and interbeing.  Much of Charles' work draws on ideas from Eastern philosophy as he lived in Taiwan for nine years. The main goal of his work is to make you become aware of your own "story of interbeing.” If you’re interested in interdependence and your connection to the world, you’ll want to check the podcast: Shownotes: 4:15 Introduction Charles Eisenstein 11:10 Defining interbeing and separation 17:30 How separation creates disconnection in our lives 27:00 How deep relationships can help individuals and society 37:15 Communication crisis and lack of empathy 42:40 How to overcome being in a victimhood position   53:45 Framing problems in an “us" vs "them” mentality 59:20 Action Step Useful Links: https://charleseisenstein.org/ https://relationshipschool.com/training

If you’re single and dating, are you tired of all the dating apps in our swipe-right culture? This week, John Kim LMFT, better known as the Angry Therapist, joins me in a very interesting discussion about his life after getting divorced that transformed his journey in becoming a therapist and coach. We also talked about John’s new book, “Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.” He wants you to prioritize your relationship with yourself and live a more meaningful life. If you’re interested in dating and relationship tips, you’ll want to check this podcast. Shownotes: 4:20 Men and therapy 9:00 John Kim’s background and childhood 16:55 Dealing with racism in John’s early years 20:30 How his divorce pushed John to start getting interested in therapy 28:00 Understanding parenting through experience 31:50 Working as a coach in this day and age 36:25 About John’s new book “Single on Purpose” 37:55: Dating and friendship advice 45:20 Final advice 46:40 Action Step   Useful Links: https://www.theangrytherapist.com/ https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/ https://twitter.com/angrytherapist https://relationshipschool.com/training

Did you know I took my son on a 5-day father’s son wilderness survival trip a few months ago?  It was so amazing. And, did you also know connecting with nature by just taking a brisk walk at your local park is good for improving your mental health and emotional well-being? Just stepping away from my phone and laptop for 5 days was the kind of digital detox I needed.  Back when I was lost in my life, nature was always there for me. Nature is a big family value of ours. That’s why I wanted to take my son on this powerful trip. Good nature time, good father-son bonding time. Our guide on the trip was so solid, I wanted to have him on the podcast to share more of why it’s so key to get outside. This guy has a ton of experience and it was so great to jam about nature, connection, and purpose.  If you’re interested to know how immersing in nature can expand your awareness and find your true calling, you’ll want to check out the podcast.  Shownotes: 3:50 Introduction Tim Corcoran 6:15 The importance of having a connection with nature 13:20 Connecting with yourself through nature 19:45 Giving back and helping others to create a connection with nature 24:25 First steps towards finding your purpose 30:20 Listening to yourself and your emotions 38:50 The father-son / mother-daughter experiences 49:15 Advice for people who want to reconnect with nature and themselves 56:45 Action Step Useful links: https://www.twineagles.org/ https://www.purposemountain.com/ https://relationshipschool.com/training  

As 2020 winds down, what are you hoping to see what happens in the new year with your relationship? Maybe you want to rekindle the romance. Or maybe you want to start a family. Whatever your hopes and dreams are for the new year, in this podcast, my wife Ellen and I give you four important questions to start the new year. Here is one of the questions: Why are you together? In other words, what is the purpose of your relationship? Listen in as we unpack this question along with the other three. Shownotes: 0:45 4 questions to find the purpose of your relationship 3:30 Why are you in a relationship with your partner? 7:35 What do you want from your relationship? 9:30 Where do you want to go in your relationship? 11:25 How are you going to get where you want to be?   Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training

Did you know the longest study conducted by Harvard University on human behavior found that the single biggest determining factor of a well-lived life was based on the quality of relationships the participants had? In today’s podcast, I give a few more examples of human behavioral studies showing how relationships affect the overall quality of life. I also give tips on how moving forward with your relationships with yourself and others are going to fit into all the challenges that lie ahead in the new year. https://relationshipschool.com/training

Ever wonder what makes a successful couple? This week, my wife and I welcome back a returning guest Christine Hassler (and her partner!).We hosted this fun Q&A related to growth in relationships, marriage & raising kids. Here’s one of the questions we answer in this podcast: What should I do if I'm growing, but my partner isn't? If you want to know the answer to this question, I invite you to listen to this interesting podcast. Shownotes: 3:25 Introduction Christine Hassler and Stefanos Sifandos 5:00 How Christine and Stefanos met and the evolution of their relationship 18:10 Deciding to commit to a long-term partnership 21:25: How being involved in self-development jobs affects their relationship 28:55 How having kids impacted their relationship 31:55 Dealing with taking care of others instead of yourself 38:45 How does it feel to work with your partner 50:00 What to do when you are putting in the work but your partner is not 57:45 How the pandemic impacted their family dynamics 1:09:20 Action Step Useful Links: https://stefanossifandos.com/ https://christinehassler.com/ https://relationshipschool.com/training  

Ever wonder why oxytocin is called the “Love Drug?” This week, Dr. Sue Carter, author of "Attachment and Bonding: A New Synthesis” joins me in a very interesting discussion on why oxytocin is one of the primary glues that keeps long-term relationships together. According to Dr. Sue Carter, without oxytocin, we probably would not have been able to evolve into the complex creatures that we are today. If you have always wanted to know the relationship between oxytocin and attachment dynamics, you’ll want to check this out. Shownotes: 2:50 Introduction - Dr. Sue Carter 10:15 Pair bonding, relationships and the origins of oxytocin 19:40 Oxytocin fluctuations and a sense of safety 17:45 The influence of oxytocin on our relationships 34:40 Effects of oxytocin on men and women 39:15 Action Step Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training

In this week’s podcast, my wife Ellen and I continue the discussion on attachment dynamics and give tips for all you ‘pursuers.’  If you are the pursuer in your relationship who always wants to connect with your partner, especially under stress and anxiety, we want to help you learn how to communicate your need for connection better so you don’t drive the other person further away. Here are two very important questions I ask all couples to think about:    Do we want the same kind of relationship? What do you really want out of the partnership?  Listen in as we answer these questions.  Shownotes: 1:45 Being there for yourself 5:20 Understanding your partner’s position 8:40 Letting your partner know that you care and want to understand them 11:35 Don’t expect others to behave as you want them to 13:20 You and your partner should act as a team 18:25: Action Step Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training https://relationshipschool.com/dipr  

Here’s a scenario: You and your partner had a fight or disagreement. You want to talk about it;  they don’t. Hmmm. How do you deal?  In this podcast, my wife Ellen and I give you a few tips for you avoidant-types on how to deal with your partner who always wants a connection or wants to talk about it.  Here’s a critical question I ask space-takers to think about:    Does withdrawing relieve my partner or not? In other words, is my space-taking helpful to my partner and good for our relationship?  Listen in as we unpack this question.   Shownotes: 0:50: Distancing in relationships 6:25 Establishing a time limit on the time you take for yourself 10:30 Action Step Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training  

Did you know when males have an emotive experience, two parts of the brain lights up? And when females have an emotive experience, nine parts of the brain light up? You’re probably thinking, why just two parts with men and nine parts with women?  If you’re interested in brain differences that boys and girls experience from the time they start school throughout adulthood, you’ll want to check this out:  This week, New York Times best selling author of "The Wonder of Boys: What Parents, Mentors and Educators Can Do to Shape Boys into Exceptional Men” examines the inner life of boys; their physical, socio-emotional, and neurological development.  Michael believes that to improve male sensitivity in America, parents should adopt bi-strategic and multi-strategic parenting styles and raise boys (and girls) with resiliency, purpose, and doing emotive development that fits their sensitivity. Shownotes: 3:05 Introduction Michael Gurian 5:20 Brain differences in education 10:10 Why men struggle more with therapy than women 21:50 How does empathy work inside the brain 27:00 How to raise boys in this day and age 34:15 What parents should keep in mind when rising girls 41:35 Action Step   Useful Links: https://gurianinstitute.com/events/gurian-winter-institute-2021/ https://relationshipschool.com/training  

What happens when you’re in a relationship with someone who’s dealing with depression and is being distant? Should you stay or should you give them an ultimatum?  In this week’s podcast, that was just one of the questions I answered from one of our listeners' posts in the Relationship School Facebook group.  I covered a lot of ground in the sex and relationships category from polyamorous relationships in the context of post-betrayal to dealing with relationship dissatisfaction. Some pretty intense stuff.  Here’s one of the other questions I answered in this new podcast:  No one talks about the sex slowing down in a long-term relationship. What is healthy and normal and what is not? If you want to know the answer to this question and more relationship advice, I invite you to listen to my new podcast.  Check it out. Shownotes: 1:30 Being in a relationship with someone who takes anti-depressives 5:45 Being the one who always takes the initiative to work on the relationship 8:45 Can polyamorous relationships solve partnership problems? 11:45 Benefits of men being part of a men’s group 13:35 Sex frequency in long term relationships 15:15 When can being too demanding cause dissatisfaction? 19:50 Supporting each other in conflicts with other people https://relationshipschool.com/training

Somatic Abolitonist, Resmaa Menakem, shares a true story about racial discrimination between the police and his family.  He also challenges the hell out of me.  Man, this was a good one, very intense. I learned a ton.  I continue to learn about how me, as a white heterosexual male, can improve in the area of race, equity and diversity.  This is a pretty charged episode. Trigger warning.  Check it out. Shownotes: 5:25 Introduction Resmaa Menakem 9:35 Fearing racism deep-rooted in society 15:05 The necessary work to make a shift in society 21:30 How white people can address racial problems and understand black people 34:00 How trauma stays in people’s bodies and transforms through time 35:00 Cultural baggage 37:20 Racism manifested in police agencies 49:05 Diversity, equity, and inclusion trainings 58:10 What does the work of healing cultural trauma looks like for white people 1:11:35 How training black people differs from training white people 1:21:50 Action step Useful Links: https://www.resmaa.com/ https://www.instagram.com/resmaamenakem/?hl=en https://relationshipschool.com/connected/ https://relationshipschool.com/community/

We continue our discussion from last week’s podcast with my wife Ellen on attachment dynamics. This week, writer Bethany Saltman, author of a "Strange Situation: A Mother's Journey into the Science of Attachment” breaks down her own experience with attachment after diving head first in the research. If you are unsure if you are “secure” or “insecure” and how that might impact your adult partnership or future family, you’ll want to check this out.   Shownotes: 3:25 Introduction Bethany Saltman 9:45 Bowlby & Ainsworth’s Attachment Theory 21:30 Bethany’s relationship with her daughter 27:00 Understanding attachment theory to improve parenting 32:40 Teenagers' bad behavior 35:50 Thoughtful and deeper relationships through attachment theory 47:35 Action step

Here’s a scenario: You want to talk about something that is bothering you, but your partner tells you they need some time to think and walks away. You end up feeling frustrated and ignored for the rest of the day. Sounds familiar, right? Then this new podcast will shed some serious light on this dynamic. If you are interested in attachment dynamics, you’ll appreciate this podcast. My wife Ellen and I answer some of your questions about attachment styles posted directly from our Instagram followers   Shownotes: 4:10 Understanding and healing what pushes your partner away 9:05: Working together with others who have a different attachment style 16:50: Willingness to work on yourself and with others 19:50: What if you or your partner struggle with being empathetic 25:00 Action Step Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/connected/ https://relationshipschool.com/community/

Using psychedelics to resolve trauma wasn’t something I was aware of when I first started experimenting over 30 years ago. The research has exploded as well as the positive outcomes for people with PTSD.  In this interview, I speak to one of the leading authorities on psychotherapy and psychedelics, Rick Doblin. Rick is such a trail-blazer.  If you have questions about how “safe” or “effective psychedelics are for your healing journey, this is a must listen. We cover MDMA, psilocybin, LSD, and ayahuasca.    Shownotes: 4:00 Introduction Rick Doblin 10:50 How to handle bad experiences with psychedelics 13:55 Using psychedelics recreationally and facilitators for growth 33:30 Experimental studies about the use of psychedelics 47:45 Psychedelics and psychotherapy 1:00:30: Using psychedelics alone vs. doing it with others 1:11:15 Action Step

When you were young, did you know how to work through conflict? Were the adults involved at all or was it more of a “hands off” situation? Whatever you went through as a kid, there’s another way.  My belief is that if we raise kids in a good way, and teach them how to work through their differences, we’ll have a brighter future. My family and I wanted to record this podcast to show you what’s possible when kids have conflict. This is an unscripted conversation with my kids. Check it out here Shownotes: 3:20: Conflict between children 8:30: Tips for resolving conflict 16:00: When can adults intervene? 21:30 Taking a break and spending time alone 26:45: Using humor to resolve conflicts Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/connected/ https://relationshipschool.com/community/

A lot of couples fight about money. Money has a lot of charge for most of us. That’s why I wanted to interview Ken Honda about how we can improve our relationship to money. Ken has written dozens of books and has tons of advice for you about money and how you can increase wealth and connection. I think you’ll enjoy this one.   Shownotes: 4:05: Introduction Ken Honda 12:10: Why is there pain and fear around money 16:00: Finding out who you are in order to have a better relationship with money 24:40: The relation between emotional intelligence and financial intelligence   31:00 Happiness and money 35:25: Money and generosity 39:00: How to relax our body and mind around money 43:00 Money advice for couples 47:40: Rising kids with financial intelligence 1:00:40 Action step   Useful Links: https://kenhonda.com/ https://relationshipschool.com/community/ https://relationshipschool.com/connected/ Text me (USA): 7207044850

If you are single, I got some feedback from a lot of people on this. They helped me ensure that these are in fact, 3 of the biggest myths around being single. Would love your input. Take a listen and leave a comment on social, or below in the blog/podcast post. Shownotes: 4:45: Myth # 1 6:30: Myth # 2 8:25: Myth # 3 12:20: Action step   Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/connected/ Text me (USA): 7207044850