The Autism Mums Podcast

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're talking about travelling with autistic children. Whether it's a one night stay, a weekend with grandparents, or a long holiday. Trips that other families might find routine can involve a huge amount of planning, uncertainty, and sensory challenges - different beds and pillows, unfamiliar food, noisy or crowded spaces, and even hidden safety hazards in accommodation.We're sharing our experiences - what helped, what didn't, and our suggestions of what might help you too.Key TakeawaysSmall preparations can help. Consider doing short practice stays before a long trip and build up time away gradually if that feels manageable for your family.Bring familiar comforts: favourite pillows, blankets, trusted foods, and familiar toiletries (toothpaste, shampoo) can reduce sensory upset and make sleep and routines easier.Pack a comfort/essentials bag: include fidget toys, calming smells, noise-reducing items, a spare set of safe foods, charging cables and any sensory supports you rely on.Make plans but stay flexible: a loose “what if” plan for meltdowns, exits or separation can help you respond quickly, but be ready to adjust if things change.Think about personal space: shared rooms or cabins can reduce opportunities to retreat. Consider quieter accommodation options, balconies or separate rooms where possible.Check provider policies in advance. Ask hotels, cruise lines or attractions about quieter rooms, room layouts, food policies and any autism-friendly services they offer.Use airport and venue support. Request assistance like fast-track check-in, quiet lounges or sensory rooms where available to reduce waiting and crowd stress.Balance siblings’ needs. Plan some separate activities or downtime so children with different needs can recharge without upsetting each other.Learn from each trip. Make brief notes about what worked and what didn’t so your next trip can be easier to plan.Be kind to yourselves! Not every holiday will go perfectly. Celebrate small wins and prioritise calm and safety over trying to “do it all.”Connect with The Autism MumsWebsite – https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we’re talking about autistic burnout.We share our personal experiences of supporting our children through burnout, from shutdowns and sensory overwhelm to emotional exhaustion and withdrawal. We also open up about how life events (including unexpected changes and disruptions to routine) can tip the balance and lead to burnout.We explore what autistic burnout can look like in children, what can cause it, and most importantly what can help.Key TakeawaysHow autistic burnout can present Increased meltdowns, shutdowns, or physical complaints can be signs your child is overwhelmed and exhaustedSensory sensitivities can intensify during burnout, making everyday things feel unbearableChanges to routine, environment, or support systems can trigger or worsen burnoutBalancing energy-draining and energy-giving activities can support recoveryGentle, low-pressure outings (like time in nature) can help rebuild energy over timeReducing demands and allowing flexibility can support your child’s nervous systemBurnout is usually temporary, and with the right support, children can recover and feel like themselves againMentioned in This EpisodeUnderstanding Autistic Burnout Autistic burnout: When navigating a neurotypical world becomes too muchConnect with The Autism MumsWebsite – https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we’re tackling a small daily chore that can become a huge battleground — teeth, toothpaste and trips to the dentist.Using our own stories, we explore why toothbrushing can be so difficult for autistic children: the sensory overload, the disruption of routine, strong reactions to flavors and textures, and how a wobbly tooth or a filling can turn a familiar ritual upside down.Key TakeawaysSensory and routine issues can be at the root of toothbrushing struggles — a wobbly tooth, change in texture, or a disrupted order of brushing can cause significant anxiety.We've found it helpful to experiment with alternative toothbrushes (U‑shaped, three‑sided, or electric brushes) and different toothpaste flavours.Small, staged steps and backward chaining (parent starts, child finishes) can rebuild confidence when a routine is interrupted; it may be necessary to take steps back to move forwards.Dental professionals who slow down, explain steps, and ask permission can make appointments far less traumatic — specialist services or hospital dentists may be necessary and very helpful.Mentioned in This EpisodeDr Barman ToothbrushesU-Shaped ToothbrushesHi-Smile ToothpastesConnect with The Autism MumsWebsite – https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast Victoria and Natalie talk about how relationships can shift when your family begins navigating autism, even before a diagnosis is confirmed. As priorities change and the reality of advocating for your child sets in, friendships can evolve, strengthen, or sometimes drift apart.Key TakeawaysRaising an autistic child can reshape your priorities and change the person you become.How advocacy for your child can challenge social expectations and sometimes make others uncomfortable.Friendships may evolve as your life begins to revolve around meeting your child’s needs.Connecting with other parents of neurodivergent children can create powerful understanding and support.Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive people can make the journey feel less isolating.Connect with The Autism MumsWebsite – https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsTranscriptVictoria Bennion: [00:00:00] In today's episode, we're talking about something that doesn't always get discussed openly, but that many parents on the autism journey experience, and that's how friendships can change. When you're raising an autistic child or autistic children, your life can begin to look very different from the one that you imagined or the one that you used to have. Your priorities shift, your time becomes limited, and you often find yourself advocating for your child in ways you never expected.All of that can have an impact on the relationships around you. Some friendships grow stronger, some drift apart, and sometimes you find new connections with people who truly understand your journey.In this episode, we are reflecting honestly on our own experiences, the changes we've noticed in ourselves, the challenges that can arise with longstanding friendships and the new supportive communities we've discovered along the way. if you've ever felt like your world and your relationships have changed we hope this conversation helps you feel a little less alone.It's [00:01:00] interesting, something I've noticed how friendships shift when I was going to say after the diagnosis of autism, but in my life I can go back to the playground when my son was at first school and he was really struggling to go in in the mornings and me being in the playground outside late trying to persuade him to go in and realizing that I wasn't alone and that there were other parents in the same position and it was really lovely from that point of view.As I know we've talked on the podcast before about how you make new relationships, make new friends, but I think it's also important to talk about what happens with existing friendships and situations. It's something that I've been thinking about quite a lot recently. I think that it's a common struggle because your life goes in a very different direction andcertainly I find my priorities changed and I wouldn't have had the understanding that I do [00:02:00] now, and it could just cause me to reflect really.Our journey has now been about three years. In that three years, I would say that I'm quite a different person. Than who I was before.Natalie Tealdi: Yeah, definitely. I think it makes you a lot more resilient. I certainly fight harder. I used to find it hard to speak up in meetings and things like that, but when you're put in the position of you need to get your child the support they need, then you're gonna do whatever it takes.And you're armed with more knowledge. So I didn't know anything about autism before. This was even raised as a possibility. So, you know, you go on this journey, don't you, of gaining all this knowledge, speaking to other people that are going through this similar things and your life kind of becomes consumed by it for a time.Victoria Bennion: Yeah, that's really true. And there's a point, and I remember the point. I was driving in the car back from school and I was at this crossroads mentally, with what direction did I [00:03:00] go in and I really didn't feel like I wanted to fight. I really didn't feel like I had the strength to fight the local authority.And parts of me was thinking, I, may just deregister him, I'm just gonna deregister him, keep him at home. At that point, we didn't have a diagnosis, but autism had been mentioned. But I didn't feel like it was, the right thing to do for this child.What he needed was actually the appropriate support, the appropriate setting. Before I knew it, I had fallen into the fight, the EHCP journey, the pathway for diagnosis, the fighting for, at that time, a reduced timetable, all the things that go with it. And I feel like for me, over that time, I, like you say, I've, certainly changedI'm a much more compassionate person. Because like you said, you learn these things. You go on the courses, like the Early Birds course, you read the books you [00:04:00] g

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Paul Mosson, CEO of the Cost Lawyer Standards Board (CLSB) to the show. Paul identifies as a gay man with ADHD and advocates for inclusive and safe environments where individuals can turn up as their true selves confidently and without fear.BiographyPaul (he/him/his) is CEO of the Costs Lawyer Standards Board (CLSB), the organisation responsible for regulating Costs Lawyers in England and Wales. The CLSB plays a vital role in upholding public confidence in the legal system by setting and enforcing the standards of professional conduct for Costs Lawyers. Paul is accountable for the full breadth of the CLSB’s regulatory and operational functions, reporting directly to the Board.Paul is also a coach specialising in working with neurodivergent clients. He is a passionate advocate for equality, diversity and inclusion, which can be seen through his work as a trustee for Disabling Barriers Scotland.Before joining the CLSB, Paul held positions as directors with both the Bar Council of England and Wales and the Law Society of Scotland, as well as being the architect behind innovative approaches to wellbeing and legal tech adoption across the legal sector.Paul identifies as a gay man with ADHD and advocates for inclusive and safe environments where individuals can turn up as their true selves confidently and without fear.Key TakeawaysUnderstanding neurodivergence later in life can bring clarity to years of feeling different or misunderstood.Long-term masking and trying to fit into neurotypical environments can lead to burnout, anxiety, and mental health struggles.Receiving a diagnosis as an adult often brings validation and a new perspective on past experiences.Working with the natural strengths of a neurodivergent brain can unlock confidence, creativity, and new opportunities.Supportive workplaces and environments make a powerful difference in helping neurodivergent individuals thrive.Finding a community that understands neurodivergence can replace years of isolation with connection and belonging.Mentioned in This EpisodeADHD an A-Z by Leanne MaskellRejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)The Pomodoro TechniqueConnect with Paul MossonWebsite: https://pmexec.co.uk/LinkedInConnect with The Autism MumsWebsite – https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

We wanted to return to the subject of sleep struggles as this is something that touches many of us.We’re joined by the fabulous Maria Moreno, a paediatric sleep consultant and motherhood life coach. With her wealth of experience, Maria shares insights on the unique sleep struggles faced by autistic children and offers practical advice for parents navigating these challenges. From personalised sleep plans to sensory considerations, this conversation is packed with valuable information to help families find their way to more restful nights.BiographyMaria Moreno is a certified paediatric sleep consultant—with a specialization in neurodivergent sleep—and a motherhood life coach dedicated to supporting moms through the emotional challenges of motherhood. She holds a master’s degree in art education and has spent over 15 years working with neurodivergent children, bringing a deep understanding and empathy to the families she serves. After navigating postpartum depression and severe sleep deprivation, she founded Mindful Mother to help families restore rest and balance. She’s also the co-founder of Tumago, a handmade comfort blanket brand designed with sensory-sensitive and neurodivergent children in mind. Maria blends lived experience, professional training, and compassionate coaching to empower overwhelmed moms with practical, personalized tools that bring calm, connection, and confidence to their motherhood journey.Key TakeawaysUnderstanding Individual Needs: Every child is different, and sleep plans should be tailored to their unique personalities and family dynamics.Importance of Routines: Consistent bedtime routines can help children understand what to expect and ease the transition to sleep.Visual Supports: Utilising visuals, like personalised bedtime books, can aid in preparing children for sleep changes.Sensory Considerations: Addressing sensory sensitivities with appropriate comfort items can significantly improve sleep quality.Environmental Factors: Creating a calming sleep environment, including blackout curtains and white noise machines, can help minimise disruptions.Connect with Maria MorenoEmail - [email protected] - www.mindfulmother.bizInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmother_sleep/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/mindfulmother1Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/MindfulMother_LifeCoachLinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/mindfulmotherMaria's Gentle Sleep Starter Guide for Kids with Autismhttps://www.mindfulmother.biz/autismsleepThis guide is designed to help parents gently create better sleep routines for their neurodivergent children, without cry-it-out methods or rigid schedules. It’s full of simple, parent-friendly tools that truly make a difference.In addition to this free guide, Maria is kindly offering 20% off Tumago handmade comfort blankets with code AUTISMMOM These sensory-sensitive blankets were inspired by Maria's own daughters and lovingly handmade by her family.https://tumago.etsy.comConnect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

In this week’s re-released episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we’re talking about something that so many families raising autistic children will recognise - the exhausting and often disheartening process of dealing with the local authority.This episode is an honest look at how hard it can be to get what your child needs and how important it is to stay organised, persistent and strong.Key TakeawaysKeeping on top of it all: Parents and carers are often left chasing reports, updates, and decisions just to keep things moving.You Can’t Assume Progress is Happening (unfortunately): If you're not following up, you're at risk of falling off the radar.Options for Your Child: Parents are frequently kept in the dark about available options regarding alternative provision and specialist schoolsTravel Expectations Can Be Unrealistic: Specialist schools may be far from home, making logistics overwhelming.Change is Needed: Better communication, transparency and supportive systems would ease the burden on both families and staff.Connect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

We're returning to the archives for this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast. We're talking about some of the real challenges families face with the current education system, especially when it comes to supporting autistic children.Key TakeawaysOutdated Education System: The current education system is often rigid and not designed to accommodate the diverse needs of neurodivergent children.Importance of Flexibility: There's a need for more flexible learning environments that allow for play and creativity, especially for younger children.Struggles with Inclusion: Being in school is different from being included in school; many children face challenges that are not adequately addressed.Identifying Needs Early: Early identification of challenges, such as speech or coordination issues, is crucial, but support often falls short.Training for Educators: There is a significant need for enhanced training for teachers on special educational needs to better support neurodivergent students.Impact of Environment: The classroom environment, including displays and changes, can greatly affect a child’s ability to learn and cope.Communication Gaps: There are often communication breakdowns between schools, parents, and local authorities, leading to misunderstandings and lack of support.Mental Health Considerations: The mental health of both children and parents is deeply affected by the educational experience and the pressure to conform.Advocacy and Trusting Instincts: Parents should trust their instincts regarding their child's needs and advocate strongly for appropriate support.Systemic Challenges: Financial motivations can influence decisions made about educational support, complicating the advocacy process for parents.Mentioned in This EpisodeThe quote Victoria mentioned seeing on social media is: When a child at school is anxious about going home, concerns would be raised. But when a child is anxious about going to school, we as parents are expected to encourage them to go no matter what. Think about that for a second. - seen on CureJoy Kids on Facebook.Connect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're returning to our earlier episode where we talk about ways to look after yourself when your child is having a tough day.Key TakeawaysHow supporting our children with their emotions can leave us feeling completely drained.Common mistakes we’ve made when trying to "push through" a tough day.Simple ways we try to carve out moments of calm: meditation, breathing space, and gentle resets.How creating a comforting environment - with blankets, candles, soft music - can make a difference.Allowing yourself to cancel non-essential tasks or meetings when you need breathing space.The power of talking it out with someone who truly understands.Finding and building a supportive community around you.The importance of zoning out, resting, and knowing that tomorrow is a new day.Mentioned in This EpisodeGabby Bernstein’s Meditation AppConnect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

We're re-releasing another episode from the archives this week where we talk about the practical ways we can help our autistic children with daily life.We’re sharing some of the things that have helped us make daily life a bit easier with our autistic children. From using timers and visual timetables to experimenting with tooth brushes and finding softer clothing.These are ideas that have worked for us, they might help you too, or simply offer reassurance that you’re not alone on this journey.Key TakeawaysTimers and visual supports can help ease transitions by giving your child a sense of control and predictability.Choosing soft, seamless clothing may make a difference for children who find layers uncomfortable.Toothbrushing challenges might be eased by trying different tools like U-shaped or triple-angled toothbrushes.Flexibility is key - what works one day might not work the next, and that’s okay.Planning days out in advance with visual itineraries can reduce anxiety about what's coming next.Noise sensitivity might be supported by using ear defenders, earbuds, or listening to favourite music.Strong smells can sometimes be managed with things like balaclavas or carrying scents like orange oil to mask overwhelming smells.Having a sensory kit (with familiar snacks, toys, and calming tools) may offer comfort when you're out and about.Mentioned in This EpisodeHere are some of the tools and resources discussed in this episode:Visual timersLaminated visual timetablesSeamless/sensory-friendly clothingU-shaped toothbrush and triple-angled toothbrushEar defendersBach's Rescue RemedyOrange Essential OilTiger balmThe Early Birds course by the National Autistic SocietyStretchy resistance bands for calming sensory feedbackConnect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook @theautismmums

Another episode from the archives this week. We're returning to our episode where we dive into the unique challenges of raising a child with a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile. We're sharing our personal stories, strategies, and reflections to help parents and caregivers better understand and support their children navigating PDA-related behaviours.Key TakeawaysPDA is driven by anxiety and a need for control; traditional demands can trigger refusal.Offering controlled choices helps reduce pressure and gives children a sense of agency.Visual schedules and plenty of preparation help ease transitions and reduce stress.Managing your own calm and letting go of nonessential demands are important for low-demand parenting.It’s okay to adjust family routines to what works for your child, even if it looks different from your original parenting ideals.Misunderstandings from others can be painful but focusing on your child’s needs is what matters most.Mentioned in This EpisodePDA SocietyDr. Naomi Fisher webinars and resourcesConnect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook @theautismmums

We're returning to the archives again this week to our episode all about EHCP's. We’re talking about the journey to getting an EHCP - what it is, why it matters, and what the process looked like for our families.We’ll share the lessons we learned along the way with the hope that it helps you navigate the process and feel a little more prepared.Key TakeawaysAn EHCP can provide vital, legally binding supportYou don't need a formal diagnosis to apply for an EHCPSchools may not always initiate an EHCP request. If they don't parents can.Timelines and deadlines are crucial - keep a track of key dates.Support groups, SENDIASS and organisations like IPSEA can provide guidance and practical help.The right provision can make a huge difference to your child's wellbeing.Mentioned in This EpisodeSENDIASS (Special Educational Needs and Disability Information Advice and Support Services)IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice) — ipsea.org.ukEarlyBird course (National Autistic Society support programme for parents)Connect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook @theautismmums

In this week’s encore episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, Victoria reveals the emotional journey of her son’s autism diagnosis. She reflects on the early signs that were often misunderstood and the battles faced in educational settings, culminating in the significant moment of receiving an official diagnosis. As one of our most popular episodes, we wanted to share this again as there are so many on this path to diagnosis.Key TakeawaysAutism signs can often be masked or misunderstood, especially in young children.Building a support network of other parents is crucial.Professionals may miss signs too, trusting your instincts matters.The diagnosis process can feel long and isolating, but community support makes a difference.Receiving a diagnosis is often a moment of both relief and grief and that's OK.Mentioned in This EpisodeThe Early Birds Course (National Autistic Society)ASDivas and Dudes Support GroupThe Girl with the Curly Hair by Alis RoweThe Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome by Tony AttwoodTADDS Outreach TeamTotal Children's TherapyADOS-2 Autism Diagnostic Observation ScheduleCAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services)Connect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook: @theautismmums

In this week’s encore episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we are revisiting our look into the journey toward an autism diagnosis. Natalie opens up about her experiences with her son, reflecting on the subtle early signs and the drawn-out process of seeking support.Key TakeawaysEarly signs aren't always obvious: It's common to realize things only in hindsight.Not all settings impact children the same way: Different environments can highlight or mask challenges.The path to diagnosis is often long: Waiting times can be frustrating, but support exists even before official diagnoses.Grief is a natural part of acceptance: It's okay to mourn the loss of expectations while embracing a new, beautiful reality.Practical support makes a difference: Courses like EarlyBirds offer real-world tools tailored for neurodivergent children.Mentioned in This EpisodeEarlyBirds Programme by the National Autistic SocietyConnect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFacebook - @theautismmums

In this week’s encore episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, join us as we navigate the complex landscape of anxiety in autistic children. We share our personal insights and experiences, exploring the diverse ways anxiety can manifest, including meltdowns, shutdowns, and sensory overloads.Whether you're early on in your autism journey or navigating school-age challenges, this episode offers reassurance, relatable stories, and real-world strategies that can make a difference.Key TakeawaysAnxiety presents differently in autistic children: It might show up as shutdowns, meltdowns, repetitive questions, anger, or even physical symptoms like tummy aches.Avoidance can be common: Children may retreat to their rooms or refuse to go places when overwhelmed.Sensory overload can be a major trigger: Noisy environments, bright lights, and even scratchy clothing can heighten anxiety.Routine changes, even positive ones, can be stressful: Children may want changes, but still struggle when they occur.Social unpredictability can add pressure: Not knowing who will be present or what will happen in social settings can create discomfort.Masking and perfectionism can lead to burnout and chronic anxiety.Support strategies matter: Ear defenders, visual timetables, sensory tools, role play, and validating feelings can help.Validation and patience are key: Simply saying 'I hear you' can help children feel safe and understood.Mentioned in This EpisodeMindfulness sessions – Supportive techniques that help children become aware of how anxiety feels in their bodies.https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-for-kids/Visual timetables and planners – Visual supports that help prepare autistic children for transitions and daily routines.Example resources: Twinkl Visual TimetablesNoise-cancelling headphones and sunglassesEdz Kidz Ear DefendersBreathing exercises for childrenhttps://copingskillsforkids.com/deep-breathing-exercises-for-kids BBC Documentary – Inside Our Autistic Minds by Chris PackhamWatch here: BBC iPlayer – Inside Our Autistic MindsHarry Potter Studio Tour (UK)Mentioned as an example of a venue with quiet spaces and autism-friendly accommodations.Accessibility info https://www.wbstudiotour.co.uk/additional-needs/Connect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook @theautismmums

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we welcome back Carl Draper for part two of our conversation.In the first part, Carl shares his personal experiences as a parent, how his understanding of behaviour has changed over time, and why unmet needs and stress responses are so often misunderstood.In this second part, Carl reflects on the challenges we can’t always predict or prevent, the importance of support systems and environment, and what helps parents regulate their own emotions when things feel overwhelming.BiographyCarl Draper was born in a North Nottinghamshire mining village and moved to Bournemouth at 19, where he served as a beach lifeguard and discovered his love for surfing. Accepted into the Royal Marines, his plans changed after a serious leg injury during a heroic rescue, an event that earned him a Local Hero Award and a feature on BBC’s 999 Rescue. He later became RNLI head trainer for lifeguards across Dorset, then served over a decade with Dorset Ambulance Service. Shifting to education, he trained firefighters and police nationwide before retraining as a mental health nurse. Carl is currently studying at Bournemouth University. In 2015, he founded Waveslider, winning the Bournemouth Tourism Award in 2017, and began documenting life with his son Bodhi in 2020.Key TakeawaysNot everything can be planned for, and learning to cope with the unexpected is an essential life skillAvoiding triggers completely can increase anxiety over time rather than reduce itThe right support system — at home, at school, or beyond — can be life-changing for familiesRoutine provides security but can also create vulnerability during periods of changeParents need their own ways to regulate stress and should seek support without guiltConnect with Carl DraperFollow Carl’s journey with his son Bodhi on the Waverslider Photography Facebook PageFollow Carl on InstagramConnect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsTranscriptVictoria Bennion: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome back. This is part twoof our conversation with Carl Draper. Carl is currently training to be a mentalhealth nurse and he's the founder of Wave Slider, where he shares his brilliantphotos and documents life with his son Bodhi.Victoria Bennion:Frank Bodi's Assistance Dog is also a regular on Wave slider. If you haven'tlistened to part one yet, we'd really recommend going back first because Carlshares some powerful context about what challenging behavior can look like andhow much can change when we start meeting a child's stress response with calm.Victoria Bennion: Intoday's episode, we pick up the conversation by talking about the things wecan't always predict or control. Those sudden changes, those moments where aplan falls apart and the ways that it can trigger big feelings for our childrenand for us too. So let's jump back in.Victoria Bennion: Arethere any steps that you can take, do you think, to prevent the behaviorsbefore they escalate, [00:01:00] before theyreach that peak?Carl Draper: That'sreally hard question. Because a lot of the times where we're getting to thestage with the things we're speaking about now. What you are now asking is whatdo we do about the things we can't control?Victoria Bennion:true.Carl Draper: What youcan't see coming? For example, there's a plane coming at three 30 thisafternoon.Carl Draper: Fine,we'll go after school, mate, pick you up. You get down to the airport at three15 and the fog rolls inVictoria Bennion: Oh,that's so true.Carl Draper: and nowthe plane's diverted and he can see it on the tracker going the oppositedirection.Carl Draper: Arethings out of your control. So a good one I've had a, a lot of stick on waveslider recently because we've had the fireworks, you know, the bonfire period,bonfire night, where a lot of animals get distressed.Carl Draper: A lot ofpeople get distressed, which I'm very well aware of. However, Frank is trained,calm, uncomfortable to go and watch the fireworks because he's, he goes where [00:02:00] Bodhi goes. So we went to see a fireworksdisplay. He had a great time. We went to Ringwood one weekend and the followingweekend we went to Little downCarl Draper: and Iwasn't gonna take Frank because it's really busy there, and Bodhi wants to goon the rides. With your autistic people, you tend to get two types of autisticpeople, even though. All autistic people have different traits and severitiesand you know, varying degrees of, you tend to get a sensitive.Carl Draper: Autistictype want quietness, you know, earphones, that sort of thing. And then you getyour sensory seeker, that's Bodhi. I want it loud, I want fast, I want more, Iwant adrenaline. So he wants to go on the rides. So I said, well, we won't takeFrank, and then we can go on the rides. And then I spoke to my youngestdaughter, ki.Carl Draper: Who'salso got an autistic son and she said, oh, we're

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we welcome back Carl Draper for part one of a two-part conversation.His last episode, learning to hear a child who doesn't speak, sparked so many questions from listeners, that we invited Carl back to talk more about the topic of challenging behaviours and autism. In this first part, Carl shares his personal experiences as a parent, how his understanding of behaviour has changed over time, and why unmet needs and stress responses are so often misunderstood.BiographyCarl Draper was born in a North Nottinghamshire mining village and moved to Bournemouth at 19, where he served as a beach lifeguard and discovered his love for surfing. Accepted into the Royal Marines, his plans changed after a serious leg injury during a heroic rescue, an event that earned him a Local Hero Award and a feature on BBC’s 999 Rescue. He later became RNLI head trainer for lifeguards across Dorset, then served over a decade with Dorset Ambulance Service. Shifting to education, he trained firefighters and police nationwide before retraining as a mental health nurse. Carl is currently studying at Bournemouth University. In 2015, he founded Waveslider, winning the Bournemouth Tourism Award in 2017, and began documenting life with his son Bodhi in 2020.Key TakeawaysEmotional regulation in parents plays a crucial role in reducing escalationChallenging behaviour is often a stress response linked to unmet needsChanges in routine and adult stress can significantly impact a child’s ability to copeA balance between boundaries and flexibility helps create emotional safetyChildren learn regulation by observing the behaviour of those around themLetting go of social judgement and outdated expectations allows families to parent with confidenceConnect with Carl DraperFollow Carl’s journey with his son Bodhi on the Waverslider Photography Facebook PageFollow Carl on InstagramConnect with The Autism Mumshttps://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsTranscriptVictoria Bennion: [00:00:00] Today we're joined once again by ourfriend Carl Draper, who many of you will remember from episode nine. For thosewho don't know Carl, he is currently training to be a mental health nurse andis the founder of Wave Slider, where he shares his brilliant photographs anddocuments life with his son Bodhi.Victoria Bennion:Frank Bodie's Assistance Dog is also a regular on wave slider. Carl's lastappearance on the podcast really struck a chord, and after that episode wentlive, he received an overwhelming number of messages from parents and carerswanting to know more about how he supports his son through moments of distress.Victoria Bennion: Andwhat's often labeled as challenging behavior. So today, Carl is back with us totalk honestly and openly about exactly that we could talk to Carl for hours. Sowe've split our conversation into two episodes. In this first part, Carl shareshis personal journey as a parent. How his understanding of [00:01:00] behavior has changed over time.Victoria Bennion: Thepowerful impact of learning to regulate his own emotions and what it reallylooks like to meet chaos with calm, even in the most public and confrontingsituations. This is a really raw, reflective, and incredibly insightfulconversation about unmet needs, stress responses, and the reality of parentingautistic children in a world that doesn't always understand. Natalie Tealdi:Welcome to the podcast, Carl. It's great to have you back.Carl Draper: Hi, howare you?Natalie Tealdi: Good.Thank you. So can we start by explaining how you define challenging behavior inthe context of autism, and can you also give us some examples of what you'veencountered?Carl Draper: Okay, soI guess our definition of challenging behavior is. Changing at the moment interms or context of autism? I think the one thing to remember where the childliked Bodhi is that he [00:02:00] is equallyprofoundly autistic and a DHD. So you have that autism side where, he likes hisroutine.Carl Draper:Everything has to be perfect. Everything's good. And then you've got the A DHDside, which is a constant clash, which is like letting a hand grenade off inthe middle of everything. I quite often think of Bodhi as pizza. He's perfectlyround cut into perfect triangles and comes in a square box.Natalie Tealdi: Ilove that.Carl Draper: He justdoesn't, it doesn't fit, but it's perfect, the challenging behavior, it allcomes with an unmet need and an inability to communicate his needs. So goingback to prior to when he was medicated for his A DHD, we had daily challengingbehavior where every evening at bedtime he would.Carl Draper: Go fromsettle to completely challenging, pinning you against the wall, pulling yourhair, grabbing your [00:03:00] face. And what Irealized is I think I was the biggest cause of this challenging behaviorbecause I come from a world where, I grew up in a

In today’s episode, of The Autism Mums Podcast, Victoria is hosting solo as Nat is home with an unwell little one. She’s joined by the wonderful Carla Wainwright, a Holistic Wellness Coach and Relationship Transformation specialist who supports parents and couples navigating the stress, overwhelm, and emotional load that can come when a child’s health or development needs extra support.Carla Wainwright's BiographyCarla Wainwright is a Holistic Wellness Coach and Relationship Transformation specialist who helps parents and couples navigate the stress, disconnection, and overwhelm that can come when a child’s health or development needs extra support. With a graduate degree in biological sciences, a 4-year practitioner diploma in Homeopathy and Heilkunst, and over 25 years as an embodied yoga teacher, Carla blends science, somatic practice, and coaching to guide couples in rekindling intimacy, deepening connection, and restoring shared purpose. Her compassionate, practical approach creates space for parents to thrive - both individually and together—while walking alongside their child’s unique health journey.Key TakeawaysMany relationship challenges stem from the fact that none of us were taught how to stay connected when life feels overwhelming.Parenting a neurodivergent or high-needs child can magnify existing patterns of disconnection within a couple.Emotional exhaustion and nervous system overload often show up as distance, irritability, or feeling like “roommates” instead of partners.Co-regulation—calming your nervous systems together—is often the first gentle step toward rebuilding intimacy.Small, simple practices like sitting side-by-side, holding hands, or breathing together can create emotional safety.Clear and compassionate communication, especially using “I” language, helps both people feel heard rather than blamed.Loving, well-expressed boundaries can strengthen a relationship rather than push partners apart.Prioritising your relationship supports the whole householdUnderstanding each partner’s unique coping style can ease misunderstandings and reduce conflict.The path back to connection starts with nervous system regulation—first for yourself, and then with each other.Connect with CarlaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/carlawainwright/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CarlaWainwrightCreatrix/Website: https://www.carlawainwright.com/Free Gift: The Connected Way Forward – Carla’s free 3-minute connection practice for couples, designed to gently rebuild closeness even when life feels overwhelminghttps://www.carlawainwright.com/connected-way-forward Connect with The Autism MumsWebsite  https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsTranscriptRebuilding Relationships While Supporting NeurodivergentChildren with Carla Wainwright[00:00:00] Victoria Bennion:Hello and welcome. It's Victoria and I'm on my own today as Nat has an illchild, but I'm grateful to be joined by our guest, Carla Wayne Wright. Carla isa holistic wellness coach and relationship transformation specialist who helpsparents and couples find their way through the stress and emotional load thatcomes with supporting a child whose development or health needs are a littledifferent.Victoria Bennion:Welcome to the podcast, Carla. It's great to have you here with us today.Carla Wainwright: Oh,I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you.Victoria Bennion: Howdid you get into this line of work? I wonder if you Could talk to us about yourown journey.Carla Wainwright:Sure. Yeah. So, you know, my background actually started in science, so Iworked for many years as a wildlife biologist. I always had like a deep passionfor nature and animals, and I began to shift into homeopathy and holistichealth. As a result of, you know, my own healing journey. And when I waspracticing as a homeopath, you know, I was working with families who hadchildren with complex or neurodivergent needs and, you know, [00:01:00] parents is usually the mother would comein, of course wanting to support the child, but it became really clear to me,of course, there was this immense stress that the parents were carrying andthat the stress was showing up in the family dynamic and also in therelationship. And so I would always encourage the mother to get support and,and treatment as well because,Carla Wainwright: it,the mother's falling apart. It's so hard for her to support her, her child, andher family. And so over time, I did this for quite a while and then in my ownjourney , of healing my own trauma, I became a sex, love and relationshipcoach. And that worked naturally expanded to supporting women and couples.Carla Wainwright: AndI have a deep. Passion to support couples, to reconnect to , their intimacy, ,their connection, their emotional resilience. I, I really feel that. You know,the container of the couple., It's like this beautiful, sacred container forgrowth and evol

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're talking about something that many families find really tough, the Christmas season. It's a time that's meant to feel magical, but for many of our autistic children, it can actually be really overwhelming, unpredictable, and stressful.Key TakeawaysUnderstanding Christmas Overwhelm: Many autistic children find the Christmas season stressful due to changes in routine and expectations.Addressing Pre-Christmas Challenges: Difficulties can arise well before Christmas Day, with alterations in school activities and the build-up of holiday expectations.Communication and Preparation: Clear communication about what to expect can help reduce anxiety in children. Discussing plans with them beforehand is crucial.Adjusting Traditions: Families may wish to consider adapting their traditions to better suit their child's needs, such as avoiding large gatherings or adjusting meal times.Managing Social Expectations: The pressure to participate in Christmas events, such as school plays and gatherings, can cause significant distress for neurodivergent children.Sensory Sensitivities: Decorations and festive environments can be overwhelming, emphasising the need for a personalised approach to celebrations.Flexibility on Christmas Day: It can be helpful to allow for breaks and personal space on Christmas Day, adapting activities to match children's comfort levels.Creating a Supportive Environment: Setting up a calm and understanding atmosphere at home can make the season more enjoyable for neurodivergent family members.Encouraging Open Dialogue: Encouraging children to express their needs, such as using visual aids to communicate comfort levels, can help.Finding Joy in Simplicity: Embracing a less traditional Christmas that meets individual family needs can be just as fulfilling as adhering to societal expectations.Connect with The Autism MumsWebsite – https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsTranscriptVictoriaBennion: [00:00:00] Todaywe're talking about something that many families find really tough.It's the Christmas season. It's a time that's meant to feel magical,but for many of our autistic children, it can actually be reallyoverwhelming, unpredictable, and stressful.NatalieTealdi: We're gonna talk through some of the commonchallenges that come long before Christmas Day. What happens on theday itself, and what we've learned works for our families. Hopefullyit helps you feel a little more understood and a little moresupported this year.VictoriaBennion: For many of our children, the struggles start waybefore Christmas day when everything starts to change. Routines aredifferent expectations, the look and the feel of a school. For one ofmy children, these struggles were really apparent from preschool ageand they had a lot of trauma to work through in subsequent years of,it sounds awful, doesn't it?But the trauma from Christmas,from doing Christmas at school every year.NatalieTealdi: I know it's something that you think will bereally fun and I know that's where it comes from. It comes from a[00:01:00] place of yeah, let's be a bitmore relaxed and make it really fun for the kids in a build up toChristmas. But actually for some children it's just horrific.VictoriaBennion: Absolutely. And for some it is fun. I think worthacknowledging that, but for our children, it's really not fun. Iremember there was an instance we went into school and they werecompletely off timetable and. He was having so much anxiety. And Isaid to the TA on the door, can you tell him what to expect from theday? What have you got planned? And she said, oh, you know, lots offun things. And I thought we might as well just go back to the carright now. He was horrified.NatalieTealdi: Yeah. It's that not knowing what's happening,isn't it? And everything being different and looking different.VictoriaBennion: The decorations there was one year the PTA didthis lovely winter wonderland outside the school and it was asurprise to the children as they came in and we walked up thepavement and there's all these oohs and ahs and there was a snowmachine and people dressed [00:02:00] upand my son was completely white. Really, really anxious. I think hemade it into school, but he couldn't speak. He was just absolutelyhorrified by it.NatalieTealdi: Yeah, what used to upset my son was the Christmasjumper days, so not wearing a school uniform that really upset himbecause, you know, when we go to school we wear uniform and that'sjust how it is and well, why are they changing it? And that createsanxiety and uncertainty and it is things that are supposed to be funand that are fun for a lot of people, but not others.VictoriaBennion: Yeah, and actually when, I didn't know back thenthat. Change had such an impact. That was in my oblivious era. Butactually

Toileting challenges can feel overwhelming for parents of neurodivergent children, especially when withholding, accidents, or anxiety become part of everyday life. In this episode, we’re joined by the compassionate and highly experienced Charmaine Champ, who brings over 30 years of professional and lived experience to help families understand what’s really happening inside their child’s body. Charmaine shares why toileting can feel so hard, the small steps that make progress possible, and the gentle, practical strategies that help children feel safe and confident. BiographyCharmaine Champ is a Registered Nurse in Learning Disability (RNLD), Community Nurse Specialist (BSc Hons), Queen’s Nursing Institute Award winner, and a Continence, Sleep, and Understanding Emotions Consultant with over 30 years’ experience supporting children and young people. Drawing on a rich background across clinics, schools, charities, NHS services, and family homes, as well as her own lived experience as a mum in a neurodivergent household, Charmaine specialises in helping children recognise, understand, and respond to the messages their bodies send, so wees and poos can happen comfortably and safely. Her approach blends research-backed guidance with a compassionate, gut-health-informed lens, empowering families, carers, and professionals to support neurodivergent children with toileting, sleep, and emotional regulation in a way that truly meets their individual needs.Key TakeawaysWhy recognising internal body cues matters for understanding a child’s toileting challenges and choosing the right starting point.What withholding really signals and how seeing it as communication—not behaviour—shift the whole approach.Breaking skills into tiny, achievable steps helps children feel safe, confident, and less overwhelmed.Identifying missed signals such as difficulty noticing hunger, fullness, or the need to poo or wee can unlock new progress.Sensory needs play a powerful role, influencing where, when, and how a child feels able to use the toilet.Consistency across home, school, and healthcare builds familiarity and reduces anxiety for neurodivergent children.Medications like Movicol require proper guidance, and understanding dosage and purpose helps parents advocate with clarity.Using visuals and accessible communication makes environments more supporting and inclusive for all children.Understanding the ‘why’ behind toileting patterns gives parents reassurance, confidence, and a clearer sense of direction.Mentioned in This EpisodeBristol Stool Chart Connect with Charmaine ChampFree gift: https://clear-steps-consultancy.newzenler.com/courses/what-to-do-about-poo Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.clearstepsconsultancy.co.uk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ContinenceConsultantTrainer Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/continenceconsultanttrainerConnect with The Autism MumsWebsite – https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmumsTranscriptVictoria Bennion:Today, we’re talking about toileting - it's a topic that many families navigate behind closed doors without proper guidance and clarity. To help us bring light, understanding, and practical support to this area, we’re joined by the wonderful Charmaine Champ. Charmaine is a Queen’s Nursing Institute Award–winning specialist with over 30 years of experience supporting children and young people with their toileting, sleep, and emotional regulation needs. She’s also a mum in a neurodivergent household, so she understands these challenges from both a professional and a personal perspective. In our conversation, she explains why toileting can be so complex for our children, what might be happening inside their bodies, and how small, gentle steps can lead to real progress. If your child struggles with toileting we think you’re going to find this episode incredibly helpful. Welcome to the podcast, Charmaine.Charmaine Champ:Thank you very much..Victoria Bennion: Canyou share your journey and talk a little bit about what inspired you todedicate over 30 years to supporting children and young people, particularlythose with learning disabilities?Charmaine Champ:Yeah, of course. . It probably started when I had a school placement. So youremember when you were at sort of school? Many years ago. I don't think they doit now, but many years ago I used to have like a work placement and I worked ina special needs school as from my work placement and absolutely loved it.Charmaine Champ: AndI was like, oh, I really. I really like doing this. I'd like to do more of it.And then I decided that I was going to become a nurse, but I wanted to be alearn disability nurse. And when I was doing my different placements, I wasworking with lots of different people, families, children's, all differentages.Charmaine Champ:

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Karen Mason to the show.BiographyKaren Mason grew up in Hertfordshire with five brothers and built a 35-year career with Bourne Leisure, one of the UK’s leading holiday park operators. Alongside her professional journey, she supported three neurodivergent family members and cared for her father through dementia. These personal experiences highlighted the lack of support for neurodivergent families in holiday parks. Driven to make a difference, Karen founded My Safe Place, combining her industry expertise with her passion for inclusion. Her mission is to create safe, welcoming environments for all families to enjoy accessible and stress-free holidays.Key TakeawaysUnderstanding Personal Experiences: Karen Mason's journey emphasises the importance of personal experiences in shaping her understanding of neurodivergent needs and challenges.The Importance of Inclusion: Karen's mission with My Safe Place focuses on creating inclusive environments that cater specifically to the needs of neurodivergent families.Recognising the Need for Support: The lack of support for neurodivergent families in holiday settings highlights a significant gap in accessibility and understanding within the hospitality industry.Creating Safe Spaces: Karen's work is dedicated to fostering safe, welcoming spaces that allow families to enjoy stress-free holidays together.Industry Expertise Meets Compassion: Karen combines her professional background in the holiday sector with her passion for inclusion, showcasing how expertise can drive meaningful change.Mentioned in This Episodewww.mysafeplacesouthern.co.ukConnect with KarenEmail: [email protected]: @mysafeplacesouthernInstagram: @mysafeplacesouthernukConnect with The Autism MumsWebsite – https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmumsTranscriptCreating Inclusive Holidays for Neurodivergent Families with Karen MasonVictoria Bennion: [00:00:00] Welcome to the podcast. Karen,Karen Mason: Thanks.Victoria Bennion: could you start by talking us through your journey to starting my safe place please?Karen Mason: Yeah, sure. So I've actually worked in the park industry, holiday parks for over 35 years now, and worked in various roles operationally, managing parks, all sort of jobs. I decided about 18 months ago after an episode supporting my brother and his neurodivergent children that I wanted to pivot where I was in the business and help and encourage parks to become more inclusive when it came to neurodivergent guests.So I literally stopped what I was doing and. Spent now researching, talking to lots of families, working with local charities, and my Safe place evolved. And here we are. We're to ready to [00:01:00] go.Natalie Tealdi: Oh, that's brilliant. Excellent. I understand you pivoted overnight. Your business was it the experience with your nephew that was the catalyst for that?Karen Mason: Absolutely. So my brother has three neurodivergent children that I've helped support over the years and the stress of that situation actually led to my brother being admitted to hospital 18 months ago. So I stepped in to help support the family in many different ways. And it was a conversation one day with my brother where I was saying, look you guys.Need a holiday break. He just looked at me in disbelief, said where are we gonna go? Nowhere is geared up for us and we've tried to have two breaks on holiday parks and it failed and it was really stressful. And I just had a light bulb moment because I work in that industry and why hadn't I, it was so true that there isn't [00:02:00] accommodation that's safe and secure for neurodivergent families. There's no provision in terms of staff training, sensory areas, and I went to bed and I woke up the next day and I said to my husband, I'm setting up a new business and it's called My Safe Place, and this is what we're doing.Natalie Tealdi: how brilliant. Yeah, I can talk from my experience really. 'cause we used to have a caravan of our own and we. He took our son, I think only a handful of times, but every time was really difficult. I think he got overexcited and it just ended up being a really stressful experience for us. And I think you've really tapped into a gap there because if they were better set up, then there'd be places to go when they're dysregulated and just having that more supportive environment, you don't feel like such an outsider.Karen Mason: Absolutely. I've heard from so many families now I didn't realize it was such a problem actually to get [00:03:00] away. It evolved because originally I thought, okay, what can we do? Can we maybe just look at encouraging parks to maybe have a sensory room on site, and then you go one step further and think actually that's not enough.The main feedback

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast reflect on attending the peaceful protest Every Pair Tells a Story, led by The SEND Sanctuary.Key TakeawaysThe Every Pair Tells a Story protest shone a light on thousands of children across the UK who have been left without the education or support they deserve.Each pair of shoes represented a child and the pain, resilience, and determination of the families standing behind them.Parents and carers united peacefully to demand accountability, compassion, and systemic change.The stories of children like Archie, Harper, Izzy, Lucas, and Jackson highlighted the devastating human cost of a broken system.Long waiting lists, inconsistent support, and poor understanding within schools continue to fail neurodivergent children.Mentioned in This EpisodeThe SEND SanctuaryASDivas & DudesFix SEND DorsetASCapeThe SEND Nurture NetworkConnect with The Autism MumsWebsite – https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsTranscriptVictoria Bennion:Welcome back to the Autism Mums podcast. Thank you for joining us for today'sepisode, which is both a bit emotional and I think quite historic.Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,I mean, last Monday across England and Scotland, parents and carers cametogether for a peaceful protest called Every Pair Tells a Story.Victoria Bennion:Pairs of shoes were laid outside council buildings, and each pair represented achild who's been failed by the education and support systems. Whether that'sbeen waiting for years for an assessment, missing out on a school place, orbeing left without help.Natalie Tealdi: Thismovement led by the Send Sanctuary is about visibility and accountability. It'sabout family showing through the quiet power of empty shoes. That our childrendeserve better.Victoria Bennion:Yeah. And we went along to support the protest, didn't we? Nat, which wasoutside Dorsett County Council at County Hall in Dorchester. And I dunno aboutyou, but I did find it really moving. [00:01:00]I think there were more than 70 pairs of shoes laid outside those counciloffices and each pair of shoes represented a child who's been let down by thesystem in some way, which I don't know.Victoria Bennion:It's really sad. And I think thinking of the shoes as a symbol, they werereally powerful. They represent. The steps that our children should be takinginto school with friendships, with independence, and yet so many can't becausethe system just keeps letting them down.Natalie Tealdi: Imean, it was so powerful sort of seeing them all laid out and thinking, gosh,thinking about what that rep represents, like 70 pairs of shoes for 70children. I mean, yeah, it was quiteVictoria Bennion:it's shocking and when you see it visually like that, that's the amount ofchildren who maybe aren't in school or are traumatized by school,Natalie Tealdi:that's only in DorsetVictoria Bennion:That's only in Dorset it. And when you buy [00:02:00]those shoes, I don't know if you can remember when you bought your children'sfirst shoes for school, there is quite a lot of excitement.Victoria Bennion: Youhave so much hope. And then when your child doesn't go to school, these shoesand you know, for a lot of us, the whole uniforms, they stay there new andactually what they become is like. That symbol of hope and excitement in thebeginnings are replaced by, feelings of exclusion, waiting, disappointment,sadness for your child that they can't access something that all their peerscan.Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,and I think it's sad for them too because they want to be able to access thosethings and they can't.Victoria Bennion:It's so much more than the education. It's, the missed friendships. It's theskills that they don't get to develop. It's the emotional toll on not just thechildren, but the families of these children.Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,I dunno about you, but I could sort of feel the sadness in the airVictoria Bennion:Yeah.Natalie Tealdi: thatyou know, it, it [00:03:00] was very peacefuland it was calm and we were all coming together in unity. 'cause we all havevery. Similar stories.Victoria Bennion:Yeah, a hundred percent. I think particularly when families came along to addtheir shoes to the collection of shoes outside, it was definitely felt verysad, and it was a really peaceful day. I mean, the organizers from the SENDSanctuary, Aimee, she made it clear that it was about. The loss, thefrustration, and the unity that you mentioned and not anger and yeah, you coulddefinitely feel that.Natalie Tealdi: Itwas a really sort of proud moment. I mean, it's nice to get together with otherparents who have gone through the same thing. 'cause you, we all have similarstories and we're on this journey together and exchanging tips and just generalsupport really standing together.Victoria Bennion:Yeah, you're definitely among people who get it, and that is encouraging insome way. I mean, it was so busy, wa

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we discuss the challenges faced by parents navigating the waiting period for their child's autism diagnosis. We explore strategies for gathering evidence, advocating for support, and managing the differences in behaviour between home and school settings. With practical tips and personal insights, we aim to empower parents to take proactive steps during this often frustrating and isolating time.Key TakeawaysUnderstanding the Waiting Game: Many parents face the challenge of navigating the waiting period for their child's autism diagnosis, often feeling isolated and unsure of the next steps.Coping at Home vs. School: Children may present differently at school compared to home, leading to discrepancies in support. It’s vital to gather evidence of behaviours at home to advocate effectively.Gathering Evidence: Documenting your child's struggles through video recordings or diaries can provide crucial evidence when communicating with schools and professionals.Utilising School Resources: Engage with schools to explore options like re-engagement sessions, youth workers, or alternative therapies that can provide support and evidence for assessments.Professional Input Matters: Involving various professionals—such as therapists, tutors, and behavioural nurses—can strengthen your case for support and diagnosis by offering diverse perspectives on your child's needs.Stay Proactive: Regularly follow up with schools and professionals regarding assessments, and don’t hesitate to reach out to your MP if you encounter significant delays in the process.Explore Alternative Routes: Consider different pathways for assessments, such as CAMHS or private assessments, which may have shorter waiting times compared to traditional routes.Community Support: Connecting with other parents and support groups can provide invaluable advice and encouragement during the challenging waiting period.Self-Care for Parents: Acknowledge the emotional toll that waiting for a diagnosis can take, and we really recommend prioritising self-care to maintain your well-being while advocating for your child.Resource Recommendations: Explore recommended books and resources that can provide further insight and support for navigating autism-related challenges.Mentioned in This EpisodeThe Explosive Child by Ross GreeneRaising The SEN-Betweeners by Lisa LloydAspergers Syndrome by Tony AttwoodThe Girl with the Curly Hair by Alis RoweConnect with The Autism MumsWebsite – https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsTranscriptNavigating the Waiting Game: Essential Tips for Parents of Kids with AutismNatalie Tealdi: [00:00:00] in this episode, we discuss the challenges faced by parents navigating the waiting period for their child's autism diagnosis. We explorestrategies for gathering evidence, advocating for support, andmanaging the differences in behavior between home and schoolsettings.Practical tips and personalinsights. We want parents to know that we get how frustrating andisolating this time can be. It really can be so hard, but there arethings you can do to feel more empowered, and we are going to sharesome of this with you today. VictoriaBennion: That's right. And we really hope it makes adifference to you.NatalieTealdi: So I've had a few conversations this week withparents who have children who are in that in-between stage wherethey're waiting for a diagnosis and , they're not attending schooland they're stuck. They have no support and they're not really surewhat to do. And I think that's one of the hardest.Parts. One of the families thechild is at school and seemingly coping at school, but [00:01:00]at home really not coping at all. And then there seems to be abarrier of support there because there's no diagnosis. And thenanother has been off school for, I think it was two yearsVictoriaBennion: Two. NatalieTealdi: Yeah. And then waiting for a specialist placement,denied one and then left VictoriaBennion: What? NatalieTealdi: I know with the parent not really knowing what todo. So I thought it might be helpful to talk around what you can doin those situationsso we talked about eh, HCPsand the fact that you can do a parental one,we've talked about before,haven't we? And I think, but the key thing here is the evidence. Sothe, stumbling block is if school aren't seeing those behaviors, ifthey're masking or if they're keeping it all in, what can they do?VictoriaBennion: So I've spoken to people in the past where thishas been an issue. This is a really common issue,Their approaches both of thosewas to video their children when they were having meltdowns and showthe school that might be what you see, but this is what we see.This is how they're [00:02:00]struggling. And I know certainly for one of my friends, that wasreally key in the schoo

In this episode Victoria and Natalie chat with Julie Green, author of Motherness, to explore the realities of parenting through autism both as a mum to an autistic son and as a woman who discovered her own autism later in life.BiographyJulie M. Green is a Canadian writer whose work has been featured in the Washington Post, HuffPost, The Globe and Mail, Today’s Parent, and Chatelaine. She has appeared on CTV, BBC Radio, SiriusXM, and CBC Radio. She writes The Autistic Mom on Substack. For more information, visit JulieMGreen.ca.Key TakeawaysAutism in girls and women can look very different from the traditional stereotypes. Julie explains that while boys can be identified through visible traits like lining up toys or having clear special interests, girls may channel their autistic traits into more socially acceptable interestsMany girls mask their differences by copying peersThe importance of seeing challenging behaviour as communication, not defiance.How self-compassion and reframing past experiences can heal years of misunderstanding and self-blameThe need for schools and systems to replace punishment with understanding and co-regulation.Mentioned in This EpisodeMotherness: A Memoir of Generational Autism, Parenthood, and Radical AcceptanceThe Autistic Mom Substack The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible by Ross W GreenNational Autistic SocietyConnect with Julie GreenWebsite: juliemgreen.caInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliem.greenSubstack: https://theautisticmom.substack.com/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julie-m-green-34bb1845/Connect with The Autism MumsWebsite – https://theautismmums.com/Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmumsFollow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmumsFollow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmumsTranscriptVictoria Bennion:[00:00:00] Today we are joined by author Julie Green, whose new book, mother Ness ExploresLife as both an autistic mom and the parent of an autistic son. We talk aboutlate diagnosis, what autism can look like in women and girls and navigatingchallenging behavior. Victoria Bennion and NatalieTealdi: Welcome to the podcast, Julie. It's great to have you here.Julie Green: Thanks for having me.Victoria Bennion and NatalieTealdi: So you are a mom to an autistic son, and you also discoveredlater in life that you are also autistic. Can you start by telling us what ledyou to consider that you might be autistic?Julie Green: Oh my.When I say it was a process, it took. Almost exactly 10 years, a very longtime. So needless to say, ooh, going back when my son was diagnosed at three Ididn't know much about autism generally, let alone. Autism in girls and womenand how that could look different. So it was very much a process.Julie Green: Theinformation just wasn't even out there. It wasn't necessarily [00:01:00] that it wasn't on my radar. I don't evenreally think you had Temple Grandin at that point. It was just, it was such alearning curve just to learn about it with my son. And then. Every now andthen, I was just struck by these similarities, thinking, oh I was reallysensitive with clothing and oh, I was really certain noises and, the need forroutine.Julie Green: So therewere some similarities with my son, but in a lot of respects, he was very muchthe typical. Image that we have of a little boy, lining up the Thomas trains.And that just did not really fit because I was fairly social. All these sort ofthings. And then I think ultimately, I became involved in it was like theblogging sphere back then, and I came across, I was writing about parenting andI started to write about autism and our experiences, but I eventually did comeacross an autistic woman through the community and got chatting with her and [00:02:00] realized in getting to know her that, oh,okay, so this is this looks very different and.Julie Green: She andI were very similar, and that gradually led me to think, okay maybe I am alsoautistic. And then again, took a little while longer for me to actually decideto pursue being assessed. So at the time, even here in Canada, the wait listwasn't that bad. I waited maybe a year through my GP and it was through ouroip, which I'm in Ontario, so our province has the equivalent of the NHS.Julie Green: Ididn't, initially, I was thinking, oh, do I wanna go through with this and, paythousands of dollars and for what? Even if I am diagnosed, just, it was a lotof, it was a long process, as I say, 10 years till it really fully clicked. Itclicked and then, officially got the diagnosis.Julie Green: So I.Victoria Bennion and NatalieTealdi: Did it help you when you looked back at past events? Did itmake more [00:03:00] sense of your life?Julie Green: Oh, enormously. 'cause I think a lot of people are like, why do this? I was 44, sowhy do this? It's not as though you're going to really qualify for any. Any funding or any supports, but I ju