ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

Jealousy is destructive to both the one who is being jealous and the one who is receiving it. After 19 years of marriage we've experienced jealousy at different times and over different things. Jealousy can take the form of: interrogations about where someone has been, what they have been doing or who they were with searching through your spouse's phone or through a computer questioning any time that your spouse happens to look at a member of the opposite sex rifling through their bags/suitcases/briefcases for “evidence” increasing anxiety over what your spouse does when you are not around them Where does jealousy come from? There is no easy answer but there are a number of ways that it can begin in one’s life. These include: Low Self Esteem - being told that you are not good enough, pretty enough, handsome enough, smart enough Feelings of insecurity or fear of abandonment - being hurt in the past can set you up to try and protect yourself in the future Fear of vulnerability or fear of rejection - the fear that if you reveal your true self you will be loved less, that by sharing who you truly are your spouse will not love you Jealousy is destructive in marriage. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the impact jealousy has on your marriage and what you can do about it. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don't Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar. Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couples 4 Simple Tools to Improve Communication with Your Spouse via Wellness Mom Life Connecting Like We Did When We First Met via A Prioritized Marriage Communication in Our Marriage via Country Living and Penny Pinching Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you remember your first Valentine’s Day together? I do, I was living in the Delta Gamma house at DePauw University and Tony was at the University of Colorado at Boulder. I had sent him a poem I had written and waited all day for my “Valentine”. I couldn’t wait to see what would come. Would Tony surprise me by showing up? Would he come with a ring and a proposal (I can’t even believe I thought that after only 6 months of dating he would, but hey I was dreaming.) Would he even remember? He did... The thing is that it has been the love shown not on just one day, but day after day. It has been in the little things and big things over the years that has made a difference. This has been the glue that has kept us together through the good times and during the tough ones. What has changed our marriage and can change you is the decision to love on each other by demonstrating that love not on just one day each year. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about showing your love throughout the year, not just one day each year, Valentine’s Day. EPISODE SPONSOR | 7 Days of Sex Challenge Life is stressful, but when you are too busy (or tired) to find some time for sexual intimacy, it can really seem unbearable. The 7 Days of Sex Challenge makes it easy for busy couples like you to find some fun time together because it ELIMINATES the stress of figuring out what you need to do for 7 days that will be new and creative to try. Grab your copy of the 7 Days of Sex Challenge today! Catch Us Live on Valentine’s Day at 5 PM PST, via C3 Livestream 14 Fun Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Married Couples 218 - Not All Good or All Bad Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sex is one of the biggest perks of being married and yet so often, relegated to an obligation instead of being the gift it truly should be. Have you ever said (or at least thought) any of the following in regard to sex in your marriage. It’s one more thing I have to do I’m so tired Don’t you ever get enough What about MY needs I could take it or leave it How does sex with your spouse get to this point? There is an anticipation to be sexually intimate at times, but more often than not it's not even on the radar for you or your spouse. This could be due to... Childhood messages about what sex should or shouldn’t be Busyness Lack of romance Lack of communication Sex is used as a weapon, treat me well and I’ll have sex with you, otherwise, no go Stopped learning or caring what works for the other Routine (same positions/same time) When sex has become a duty or an obligation, your marriage suffers. Sex is truly one the most intimate times with another person and not being fully involved in the process is placing a wedge between you and your spouse. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about changing your mindset so that sex is not a duty in your marriage but a gift that you give to one another. EPISODE SPONSOR | 19 Quick Questions That Will Rekindle Your Sex Life ASAP Talking about sex with your spouse is something you should do during different seasons of life. When you do you'll create a shift in your marriage around this sometimes “tricky” subject. Make sure to pick up this FREE resource that is going to give you 19 questions to change your sex life. Grab 19 Quick Questions now and don't miss an opportunity to learn about your sexual intimacy. 3 Ways to Overcome Your Fear 15 Ways to Romance Your Spouse Over the Next 30 Days Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions For Couples 140 - Scheduling Sex Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two become one. You may have heard this when you stood before your pastor as you were about to say "I Do". Since you got married though you feel that the two of you are not united in your marriage. This is showing up in areas ranging from: handling finances dealing with family what’s going on with the kids your sex life having a conversation creating a safe environment, free of judgment or harsh words spending time together and the list goes on You did not get married to do marriage by yourself. That’s a complete contradiction. Let’s be clear, we are not saying that you have to do everything together and spend all day, every day together. However, when there is no unity in your marriage it takes a heavy toll on you and your spouse. When there isn't unity in your marriage you feel: distant disconnected frustrated worthless invisible lonely angry This causes the distance between the two of you to grow. The silences get longer. The time spent away from one another grows. It’s time to go back to basics. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what it truly means when two become one and when you come together to be unified in your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | 6 INCREDIBLE Questions To Instantly Break The Silence With Your Partner When you use these six questions they will help you connect at a deeper level, start the conversation when it feels like there is nothing to talk about, provide an opportunity to connect and bring the two of you closer and may bring a smile to you and your partners face upon sharing. Grab Our Six Questions now and don't miss an opportunity to connect with your spouse. 128 - Playing On The Same TEAM Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey Total Transformation One-on-One Coaching Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Strength training your marriage isn't just about you as an individual. It's about strength training your marriage so that you and your spouse create a healthy, vibrant and growing marriage. The first 11 years of our marriage. we didn’t do much strength training in our marriage. We read a few devotionals, we had done a few small groups at church for married couples, occasionally we went out on date night or got a weekend by ourselves but that was about it. The foundation of our marriage was awful: distance, disconnected, and loneliness. When we decided to start strength training our marriage muscles a shift occurred. A shift that let’s us look at each day with excitement, with expectation that the best is yet to come. The same thing can happen in your marriage. Find your personal marriage trainer (hopefully us), so you can live your marriage with a plan, a purpose and excitement for what's to come. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why strength training isn’t just something for the gym but rather something that your marriage needs as well. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don't Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar. Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couples Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey One-on-One Coaching Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Husbands get a bum rap in media, books, movies, tv--out of touch, unfeeling, sexed up, jerks. And yet your husband your husband is a good husband. You may look at yourself and even say that you are a good husband and one that doesn't even compare to how the media portrays you. Your're a husband who does dishes, change diapers, makes dinner and much more. A Husband who rubs your wife's feet, starts a bath plus you join in and sends love letters to your wife throughout the year. Is every husband like this? No. But every husband has the potential. It’s a matter of unlocking this in your marriage and both a husband and a wife can do this. When this happens a husband understands his role as the rock for his wife, children and for those around. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the importance of acknowledging and giving praise to your husband because a good husband isn’t so hard to find. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don't Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar. Taking Charge of Your Fertility 56 Simple (But Super Effective) Compliments To Encourage Your Spouse Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Making love to your spouse is one of the most intimate times you two have together. It's a time when everything else falls away while you bask in each others arms. Now when you make love twice in one day that double the pleasure... Well is it? It sure is because it changes things up in your marriage and your sexual intimacy. This brings on a new and fresh perspective that you may have not seen. When you are making love multiple times in a day sexual intimacy becomes a priority as it puts the focus back on the two of you. You learn that sex can be quick and playful or lingering and romantic, there’s place for both in your marriage (you get to decide which one you want to do). Variety is good for both of you which can be a plus for new adventures down the road. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the importance of stepping outside your sexual comfort zone as we share about making love twice in one day. EPISODE SPONSOR | Top 10 Ways to Initiate Sex In this free resource learn the proven ways you can initiate that have worked for thousands of couples around the world. Even if you're not the one who usually initiates you can learn how to break the sexual tension and have your spouse responding in no time, have fun in the situation while LOVING and respecting each other, set yourself up for success in just 5 minutes or less and much more. Grab the Top 10 Ways to Initiate Sex today! 7 Days of Sex Challenge: Rock Your Sex Life and Your Marriage Episode 140 - Scheduling Sex Romance Your Spouse With These Sexy Text Messages Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s that time of year when you are thinking about the New Year and what's ahead for your marriage. You've thought about what happened over this past year and what you want this next year to look like. During this time you may be taking a serious look at your marriage and how you can strengthen each of the six intimacies. Your are counting down to the New Year and wondering how you can make it your best year ever. Starting this year or a new season of your life without a plan means that you are going to be at the mercy and whim of the world around you. When you are reactive you leave many aspects of your marriage floating around to "just happen". You couldn’t do your job if you didn’t have any idea of what was expected of you, why should our marriages be any less. In our marriage we are fortunate to be surrounded by couples who have been proactive about what's ahead for their marriage. What separates them and their marriage is that they are being intentional. Here’s a little secret... You can too. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what you can do right now so that you can create the best year ever in your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | 15 Everyday Libido Boosting Habits Need to boost your libido? Simply use one of the 15 easy everyday habits we’ve put together for you… and never worry about a fizzling sex drive again! Get the #1 Tip we share with thousands of listeners on how to relax before sex, get this wrong and no tip we give can help! Plus, we share how to “schedule sex” so you can take the guess work out of when you’re going to “get some!” (this alone has hundreds of marriages saved marriages!) Sign up now for your FREE 15 Everyday Libido Boosting Habits Our Six Questions (Free Resource) He Zigs She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path Trust Me! Restore, Renew & Rebuild Your Foundation Core Values Workshop One-on-One Coaching Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The presents are wrapped and under the tree, the stockings are hung, the cookies are baked and you’re exhausted. As a couple you find yourselves rushing through life, rushing through your marriage and missing out on being present with your spouse. Here's the thing... There will always be stuff to do in every season of your marriage. There will always be distractions in your life. In our 19 years of marriage we can attest to this. What sets your marriage apart is how you make each other a priority. This is so important! The two of you really need time together, just the two of you, and no one else. This means dates without the kids or a group of adults. Time alone walking, driving, playing a fun board game or cuddling on the couch listening to your favorite music. The two of you are so busy doing for others (your kids, your boss, your friends) that you need to make sure you are being present for one another. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about being present with your spouse during each season of life. EPISODE SPONSOR | Audible 30-Day Free Trial Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage we already know that you like to listen to great content through your phone or your computer. We also know that you like to have your content available everywhere you go. With audible you can Choose from over 180,000 titles. One that we will be talking about on the show is David Finch’s The Journal of Best Practices. Get this or any other title with your Audible 30-day FREE trial. Four Fun Moments You Can Share With Your Spouse [VIDEO] Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This time of year can be challenging for so many marriages. You are trying to hold it together for the family, for the kids, for the holidays and for yourself. Over the last weeks and months you have noticed that you and your spouse have begin to drift. You're living in survival mode, dealing with one thing after the next and yet you were designed to thrive. How did the drift begin in your marriage? For many of us we are TOO busy. There are his schedule, her schedule, the kids’ schedules, volunteering, getting together with friends. So much going on that there was little to no time to truly connect with one another. You and your spouse are not listening to each other. In the precious moments that you have together there is a rush to get through whatever you have to say OR you are so distracted that listening becomes secondary to whatever else you are doing. Also, opportunities to spend time with one another are eclipsed by whatever was on the to do list. This has to get done, we’ve got to do this, etc. etc. You are drifting apart right now from your spouse and there is no end in sight. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what happens when drift begins to happen in your marriage and what you can do to connect once again. EPISODE SPONSOR | Holiday Book Bundle Christmas is next week and you might be thinking, “What do I get my husband or wife?” We’ve got the perfect solution for you but you are going to have to act fast because there are only 30 of these available... It’s the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Holiday Book Bundle. Softcover copies of our two most popular titles: Connect Like You Did When You First Met 101 Proven Questions for Couples AND 7 Days of Sex Challenge. Improve your emotional intimacy and your physical intimacy this Christmas season. Get both of these titles for only $19 for the bundle, that’s a 56% savings. Grab your Holiday Book Bundle Today! Good or God by John Bevere Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What you choose to listen to does and will impact the decisions that you make. You have voices that are marriage enriching, which foster your relationship and are strong when the two of you are making time for each other, sharing your lives with each other both emotionally and physically. Then there are those voices encouraging you to be selfish. They begin to get louder when there is a disconnect in your emotional, physical, spiritual and financial intimacies. It gets harder to listen to those positive marriage enriching voices when the two of you have let everything else get in the way of your marriage. Don't let these competing voices distract you any longer. Make a choice, daily, sometimes minute by minute that you are going to stop and ask the question, is this choice, is this decision supporting my marriage? Am I choosing to be selfless or selfish in this moment... Selfless, go with it. Selfish, stop in your tracks and determine if this is the path you want to start down. Make sure that those situations, (business trips, electronics, friends, co-workers, etc) that continue to arise that you implement guardrails around. In doing so you will hear the voice that will enrich your marriage. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about those competing voices in your head, the ones that encourage you to build your marriage and the ones that justify taking dangerous actions. EPISODE SPONSOR | 101 Easy and Creative Gift Ideas Christmas is almost here and you might be scrambling, trying to figure out just what to give your spouse. Take a deep breath, our team here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage has done the hard work for you. We have compiled a list of 101 Easy and Creative Gift Ideas, everything from body scrub to a hot tub. Gifts for him, for her and for the two of you. It can be hard to find just that special something but this list makes it easy for you. Mind Mastery Cards Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step." —Laozi In your marriage there have been joyous times when you look around and think to yourself, " I never thought I would be here" and tough times when you never thought you would be here. Either way you are here right now. What you choose to do at this time will be instrumental in where you are heading in your marriage journey. What we have enjoyed doing over our 19 years of marriage is to celebrate and remember these times. They are a part of us and our testimony of faith, growth, and love. All in all we never thought we would be here! Six year after starting the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show our marriage journey has ebbed and flow and still continues. In this week's show Tony and Alisa share as their journey continues in their marriage, the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show and listener feedback from the ONE Family. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar. Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Your to-do list is a mile long as the holidays and the end of the year approaches. You have meetings, parties, shopping, last minute errands, cleaning the house, end of the year reports, travel, kids out of school, and more that need to get done. There is so much to do and yet your sexual intimacy gets push aside for this "season", to another day, another week, or maybe you'll wait until next year. Yes you'll celebrate New Year’s together. Hugging, kissing and then starting the new year cuddled together under the sheets. Right? Hopefully, but usually not. This is NOT the season to put your marriage and your sexual intimacy on the back burner. When you are not intentional about your marriage during the holidays the smiley faces come out, but deep down there is hurt, anxiety and frustration. Both of you begin to push each other away, as other things become more important and you drift apart hoping it will be better on New Year's Eve. You may be thinking that you don’t want to start next year the way that this year is ending... Disconnected, lack of communication and not having sex. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about being intentional with all aspects of your marriage, especially your sexual intimacy during the holiday season. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar. 15 Ways to Romance Your Spouse Over the Next 30 Days Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The word thankful means, "feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative." As a married couple you should take time each day, week, and month to share with your spouse how truly thankful you are for them. For how they have had a positive impact in your life. With the end of the year and the holidays upon you it is a perfect time to share with your spouse why you are truly thankful for them over the past year. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about expressing gratitude to your spouse about why you are truly thankful for them over this past year. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don't Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don't Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don't Trust You Webinar. 285 - Words of Encouragement Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Surprise. Christmas is coming AGAIN this year, in fact it comes every year. Can you believe it? —Said with a little sarcasm. However this is often the sentiment that couples experience when the holidays roll around, every December. Here are a few things that happens during this time of year... lots of activities, parties, concerts, school programs gift exchanges holiday shopping All of these take time and money. From new outfits, a gift to share at a work gift exchange or buying presents for the family. Not only do they take time and money they can increase your stress level. When you get stressed one of the first things to go is your libido. So how can you bring down your stress level? Listen in now and set yourself up for success this holiday season. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about a few ways that you can de-stress the holidays so that you can be present and experience joy this Christmas. EPISODE SPONSOR | Audible 30-Day Free Trial Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage we already know that you like to listen to great content through your phone or your computer. We also know that you like to have your content available everywhere you go. With audible you can Choose from over 180,000 titles. One that we will be talking about on the show is David Finch’s The Journal of Best Practices. Get this or any other title with your Audible 30-day FREE trial. 101 Easy and Creative Christmas Gift Ideas Awesome Under $20 Stocking Stuffers Elfster Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many items that you purchase come with a manual. Your car, your crockpot, the computer, TV, kid's toys and even your mascara has instructions. And yet you and your spouse despite all in all of their complexity do not. You marry someone who is completely unique, who has all kinds of quirks, some of which won’t even come out until you’ve been married for quite awhile. We know because after 19 years of marriage we are still learning about some of them. :) How do you figure out and learn your spouse? After much research on how to set up a marriage manual we discovered The Journal of Best Practices by David Finch. David was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome after he had gotten married and his best practices are a perfect way to create your own marriage manual. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why it's important to create a marriage manual so you can have success no matter what you face on your marriage journey. EPISODE SPONSOR | Audible 30-Day Free Trial Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage we already know that you like to listen to great content through your phone or your computer. We also know that you like to have your content available everywhere you go. With audible you can Choose from over 180,000 titles. One that we will be talking about on the show is David Finch’s The Journal of Best Practices. Get this or any other title with your Audible 30-day FREE trial. Stripped Down: 13 Keys to Unlocking Intimacy in Your Marriage The Journal of Best Practices Color Your Future: Using the Character Code to Enhance Your Life Wired That Way Personality Profile Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Creating a no rejection zone in your marriage is vital to creating an environment where both you and your spouse trust one another. Rejection is incredibly destructive. It eats away at a person’s sense of worth, it creates doubt, it destroys the foundation of your marriage. For the first 11 years of our marriage rejection was as common as breathing air. Over the past eight years we have decided that our bedroom is a no rejection zone. In doing so there has been a shift in us and in our marriage. What we learned is that sometimes you know when you are rejecting your spouse... That’s the bold NO. And other times it with more subtle statements, such as: Not tonight. Not right now. I’m really busy. I have one more thing I have to do. One more chapter to read. I’m going to (cuddle, hang out, watch a movie) with the kids. I have a volunteer meeting. I already made plans with friends. Each one of these things is not bad or destructive in and of themselves. It’s when they become the pattern of behavior in your marriage. It’s when this is all that your spouse hears. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why it’s so important to have a no rejection zone in your bedroom. EPISODE SPONSOR | The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood In this fascinating read, author Eric Smith, digs into many topics dealing with the marriage relationship and how husbands and wives relate to one another sexually. He digs deep into grace based vs law based relationships and the forgotten art of manhood. This is a must read for couples everywhere. Learn more today when you grab your copy of The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood. 140 - Scheduling Sex Quick Intimacy Lifestyle Overview [VIDEO] Trust Me! Restore, Renew & Rebuild Your Foundation 56 Simple (But Super Effective) Compliments To Encourage Your Spouse Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re busy. There is a lot going on in your life. When you’re dating or even newly married it seems like you have the ability to make the time for one another no matter what. You’ll rearrange your schedule. You’ll say no to other people or activities that would take you away from your love. And then over time... well other things start to fill up that time. The less time you spend engaged in your relationship the more disconnect there is. No matter if you have been married, 3 months or 30 years you still have to get to know your spouse. When you stop giving that time to one another, when you stop learning about one another there is a natural drift apart that occurs. Without some type of behavior change that gap can get wider and wider. You know when you are co-existing in the same house, but not really growing together. It's time to do a time makeover... In looking at your week you will begin to see the time that you do have together, is it really quality time? Or do you just happen to be home at the same time. Are you doing things together? Are you talking? Are you dating? Are you having sex? In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what you can do together to find those chunks of time in your 168 hours each week so you connect regularly. EPISODE SPONSOR | Audible 30-Day Free Trial Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage we already know that you like to listen to great content through your phone or your computer. We also know that you like to have your content available everywhere you go. With audible you can Choose from over 180,000 titles. One that we have talked about on the show is ScreamFree Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer. Get this or any other title with your Audible 30-day FREE trial. Get More Quality Time Workshop Scheduling Sex... A Quick Intimacy Lifestyle Overview [VIDEO] Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On October 5th we celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary! For our anniversary day we choose to have a date day with a theme...we’ll share this date idea on an upcoming Periscope. Follow us there @oneextraordinary. One part of the date was to go to a local shooting range. It was one of those things that sounded like a good idea until we got there and started going over all of the safety features. There was one moment when Alisa almost said, "Nope, not gonna do it." Fear of the unknown almost stopped us from having an new learning experience together. So what happened once we got in the shooting range...We learned a lot about marriage in just 90 minutes. In this week's show Tony and Alisa share what you can learn about your marriage when you hold on tight to each other. EPISODE SPONSOR | The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood In this fascinating read, author Eric Smith, digs into many topics dealing with the marriage relationship and how husbands and wives relate to one another sexually. One of the most challenging for us, was his challenging of the idea of high desire and low desire. Smith asks the question why would God put us in conflict with one another with different levels of desire? Great question! Learn more today when you grab your copy of The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood. Core Values Workshop Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you have said to yourself and/or to your spouse, "It's been too long since we've had sex", then it's time to sit down to figure out what is going on. The topic of sexless marriages is one a lot of people shy away from. Most of the time because if it is not talked about then the problem doesn't exist. Unfortunately, roughly 15% of marriage have not had sex with their spouse in the last six to twelve months, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University. Sexless marriages by definition are marriages in which a couple has sex less than 10-12 times per year. Why is this happening: too much rejection broken trust lack of communication medication What we cover in this show is NOT those seasons of marriage where you are unable to have sex due to medical conditions OR physical limitations, but areas that you can address in a physically healthy marriage. In this week's show Tony and Alisa dive into why there has been an increase in sexless marriages and the impact it has on you. EPISODE SPONSOR | Audible 30-Day Free Trial Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage we already know that you like to listen to great content through your phone or your computer. We also know that you like to have your content available everywhere you go. With audible you can Choose from over 180,000 titles. One that we have talked about on the show is ScreamFree Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer. Get this or any other title with your Audible 30-day FREE trial. The Rise of All-Purpose Antidepressants The Brutal Truth About Sexless Marriages When Sex Leaves the Marriage On Air with Ella - One (HOT!) Extraordinary Marriage Trust Me! Restore, Renew & Rebuild Your Foundation He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is not just about the emotional toll it has, but also the physical impact it has on women. There are many symptoms that can be experienced. Some of these are: feeling tired food cravings trouble with memory joint or muscle pain tension, irritability, mood swings or crying spells PMS can create feelings of disconnect during the month. Leading her to... An unwillingness to be touched. A short "fuse". Roller coaster of emotions. And for him... Not knowing what to do or say. Struggles with how to comfort his wife. There is a lack of physical connection. And studies show that PMS can last 1-2 weeks BEFORE a woman gets her period which then averages 5 days. In this week's show Tony and Alisa bring you the married couples guide to PMS and how to talk about it together. EPISODE SPONSOR | The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood In this fascinating read, author Eric Smith, digs into many topics dealing with the marriage relationship and how husbands and wives relate to one another sexually. One of the most challenging for us, was his challenging of the idea of high desire and low desire. Smith asks the question why would God put us in conflict with one another with different levels of desire? Great question! Learn more today when you grab your copy of The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood. Taking Charge of Your Fertility How Did He Know? Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Routine... while is seems easy and comforting at first really and truly leads to boredom. Boredom in your marriage leads to looking for other people or things to break that sense of routine. This boredom if not address can lead to emotional affairs, to physical affairs, to erotica and pornography, to excessive spending, to countless hours lost on social media and most importantly a loss of connection with your spouse. For you this feels like Groundhog Day. The same thing is happening day in and day out in your marriages. Nothing changes except the date on the calendar. Your conversations are about the same things. Your dates all look the same. Your sex life hasn’t had any variety in what seems like forever. It’s a Groundhog Day season of marriage... Doing the same thing over and over. The definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." It's time to break the routine, to stop living as if Groundhog Day is your life! In this week's show Tony and Alisa share what happens to your marriage when it seems as Groundhog Day is happening day after day and how you can break the cycle of routine so you can have abundance. EPISODE SPONSOR | Core Values Workshop - September 23, 2015 at 6:30 PM PST Here's what's happening. We've almost reached our registrations limit and are closing the doors to The Core Values Workshop LIVE training. Join us right now and register before you lose your chance. We have to close the offer so we can focus on all the new members. So NOW is the time to get off the fence and get in! We can't wait to connect with you live! Register today: www.CoreValuesWorkshop.com Trenchcoat And High Heels Discover the Top 10 Ways To Initiate Sex With Your Spouse TONIGHT Stripped Down: 13 Keys to Unlocking Intimacy in Your Marriage Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This show came out of a conversation we had as Tony walked from the master bathroom into our bedroom... naked. It occurred to us that those couples who walk around naked are couples who are vulnerable and comfortable with each other. We realized through this conversation that walking around naked in our own marriage has taken many different forms over the years. There have been different times in our lives when we would walk around naked and other times when we would not. These include: Newlywed years New parents stage Young kids around Teenagers and their schedules Empty nesters Through the years there has been changes to our bodies. We have gone from our early 20s, when we got marriage, to now in our 40s. This isn't only about how we look, it’s about how we think we look, and the messages that we give each other. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about being comfortable in your own skin as well as around your spouse as you walk around naked at home. EPISODE SPONSOR | The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood In this fascinating read, author Eric Smith, digs into many topics dealing with the marriage relationship and how husbands and wives relate to one another sexually. One of the most challenging for us, was his challenging of the idea of high desire and low desire. Smith asks the question why would God put us in conflict with one another with different levels of desire? Great question! Learn more today when you grab your copy of The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood. Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

People are lost. Marriages are lost. Families are lost. We have become a society, that for the most part, doesn’t plan who or what we stand for. Do you know what your marriage stands for? Every couple and family has their own unique set of characteristics. Whether it's something that they have sat down and consciously decided on OR it's something that they have just "fallen" into. This is their identity. Sometimes those things that you are known for, aren't necessarily positive... that family is always late that family never spends time together that family.... What would happen if you choose to create your identity? If you choose the positive words to speak over your marriage, over your spouse, over your children? Words matter. Values matter. What you stand for, what you speak to each other, what you value impacts every decision that you make. These are your true values. It's not enough to just "have this idea in your head" it has to be something that you participate in together and have a hand in forming. What values in our marriage is not going to be the same as what will ultimately be your core values. While the values aren't going to be the same, the fact that we take the time to create this and identify them for our families transforms us, and our communities. It becomes an identity, our foundation. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about your family legacy and the importance of discovering your true values as a person and as a couple. EPISODE SPONSOR | Core Values Workshop - September 23rd, 2015 What would it be like to have greater clarity and peace when making the choices that matter with your spouse? Marriage means tackling "the big things" together, as true teammates. Whether you’re newlyweds, married 5, 10, 30 years or a couple at any stage you will have to navigate big decisions together. You can connect with your spouse in an incredible new way. The Core Values Workshop is built around specific, clear, actionable steps that will help you connect with your better half in a judgment-free way. Some Nights by Fun (Video) Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you first meet your spouse you were most likely on your best behavior at all times. You would watch out for what you would say and how you would say it. Over time, as you became more familiar with each other that “best behavior started to slide”. You got more comfortable with the fact that your future spouse would be sticking around. As time passed you took the relationship for granted and AS A RESULT you would say things however you wanted, whenever the mood strikes. Unfortunately, this can be a disaster for your marriage. When you don’t care how you say something or what you say to your spouse, you open up each of you to a world of hurt. Both of you deserve the respect of the other. Both of you deserve to be treated in the same way that you wish to be treated. If you don’t want your spouse to raise their voice at you. Don’t raise your voice at them. If you don’t want your spouse to interrupt you. Don’t interrupt them. If you don’t want to be accused of ALWAYS OR NEVER. Don’t do it to them. If you want to be able to have fruitful conversations it’s not just about how you say something. It’s also about when you say something. It's about your tone and timing. There are times when stress levels are high. There are times when fatigue is a huge factor (or hunger). There are times when your spouse is naturally less talkative. These are not the times to bring up a serious conversation. No one is going to be productive. Choosing the time to talk is just as important if not more so then what you are talking about. Take the first step and listen now. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about how the tone of your voice and the timing of your conversations ultimately determine the success of your conversations. EPISODE SPONSOR | He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path I got married 7 months ago and as a newlywed I can honestly say there is no play book or instruction manual to prepare you for this thing called marriage. He Zigs, She Zags has been our play book when it comes to our communication. I just wanted to message you guys and say THANK YOU. You are making a difference in our marriage! —Chris C., Indiana Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In your marriage there are six forms of intimacy that build your foundation. Each are vital to a successful marriage, a marriage based on safety and trust. And, sexual intimacy is one of them. When your needs or those of your spouse are not being met a few things start to happen… You wonder why you are married in the first place and start thinking about getting out. You begin to get resentful and withdraw from the marriage. You don’t see the harm in look toward other things to fulfill you (pornography, erotica, emotional affairs, physical affairs, etc.) since your spouse isn’t doing anything. This is not the marriage that you want to live in. It’s not healthy. It’s a relationship filled with... anger frustration sadness resentment disappointment withdrawal loneliness You can have an amazing sex life. You can learn how to please each other. Learning anything new takes time, patience, an open mind and a willingness to learn. On this week's show Tony and Alisa share why sex is a part of marriage (no matter if it's stagnant or vibrant) and how the two can make your sexual intimacy burn once again. EPISODE SPONSOR | He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path I got married 7 months ago and as a newlywed I can honestly say there is no play book or instruction manual to prepare you for this thing called marriage. He Zigs, She Zags has been our play book when it comes to our communication. I just wanted to message you guys and say THANK YOU. You are making a difference in our marriage! —Chris C., Indiana 19 Questions to Amazing Sex with Your Spouse 140 - Scheduling Sex Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There are a lot of distractions in the world… electronics, social media, daily tasks, other people, etc. Because of these distractions it’s easy to lose sight of the gift that you have right in front of your face. The gift of your spouse that God has given to you. You and your spouse spoke a covenant to each other to be together “as long as life shall last.” And yet time goes by and what you once did you no longer do anymore. Saying words of encouragement and complimenting your spouse is vital for them and for you. When you use words of encouragement for your spouse… It boosts their confidence. It lets them know that they are valued. It lets them know that your heart and mind are on them, not on other people or other things. As you speak these words of encouragement you… Keep you focus on what you already have. Show that you are their support. Push away the distractions that are around you. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa dive deep on ways that you can compliment and use words of encouragement that are easy, effective and powerful. These simple statements will powerfully impact your marriage (and spouse!) for many years to come. EPISODE SPONSOR | One-On-One Coaching Are you struggling in your marriage? Are you at a point where you spouse has said we need help or else? Have you just woken up to the fact that you have drifted apart and don’t know how to find your way back to one another? It’s time to take the next step. It’s time to apply for coaching with Alisa and make the changes necessary in your marriage. 56 Simple (But Super Effective) Compliments To Encourage Your Spouse Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You desire to be sexually intimacy with your spouse and at the same time add some adventure and variety in your bedroom. Where do you start? What do you need? We struggled with this for years in our own marriage. You know how it goes, you do the same things over and over and it can be tough to jump out and try something new. To be honest we tried many ways to do this and have experienced many misses along the way. We weren't going to be stopped though. We desired to make our bedroom a sanctuary, a place of fun, a place of relaxation, a place of adventure. Through trial and error we have found a number of items that create romance, fun, adventure and pampering. You have to check these out... 11 MUST HAVE Items For Your Bedroom In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about some of these must have items, coconut oil, a vibrator and The Game of Love, that you can get to make your bedroom the most desirable room in your home. EPISODE SPONSOR | The Game of Love Put some fun & games back into your relationship! The Game of Love is a bed sheet board game that you can customize to fit your relationship just right! Every game kit includes a fitted bed sheet with a blank game board on it. You’ll use the provided fabric markers to write in each space a physical activity, question, mini game, or another idea from the Game of Love’s online Idea Vault. Visit The Game of Love and use 1MARRIAGE to get $5.00 off any game kit! Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Everyday there are conversations going on about marriage where someone says... My spouse doesn’t make me happy. I’m not happy in this marriage. Why isn’t my happiness important? The issue many marriages face right now is that of the ME focus. It is common place that there is an expectation that everyone and everything exist for your happiness. This is especially prevalent in the marriage relationship. A shift needs to happen in you for your marriage to thrive. As an individual and part of a marriage you need to learn what brings you happiness and then go create that in your life and your marriage. It’s is a myth that your spouse was put here on this planet to make you happy? In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why your spouse isn't the only place you should look for your happiness as we remove the masks on the happiness myth. EPISODE SPONSOR | OUR SIX QUESTIONS 6 INCREDIBLE questions to instantly break the silence with your spouse. Easy, awesome, lighthearted prompts to get your spouse to open up today. WARNING: these questions may bring a smile to you and your partners face upon sharing. Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage Not to Make You Happy But to Make You Holy The Five Love Languages Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are you living in your own little bubble with your head down, focused only on yourself, your needs, your wants... And yet your spouse may be there wondering if you even know what’s happening to them, what’s going on at work or at home, or how a recent event has impacted them. You haven't taken time to look up recently and in doing so you've forgotten that you are in a marriage with another person. Your community is being impacted. You have stopped seeing the needs of others are are ONLY focused on YOUR needs. Marriage was never designed to be a ME focused relationship. It was designed to bring two people together to be better and stronger than they would be on their own. The only way that you can be better together is if you shift your focus to look up and look at your spouse. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why it’s time to turn your eyes skyward and look up to what’s ahead in your marriage. Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couples Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Defeated. Worn out. Frustrated. Any of these and many more emotions can get you to a place where you have told yourself that you can't do anything right. Nope. Nothing. This is a lie and four words that will bankrupt you and your marriage. Before you say these words to yourself make sure you use the "3 P's". Pause. Pray. Proceed. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about getting past a place of disconnection especially when you say, "I can’t do anything right" to yourself and to your spouse. EPISODE SPONSOR | He Zigs,She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path Marriage counselling professionals agreed on the number one cause of divorce… “Poor Communication” but how do you get better communication skills and save your marriage? Your communication solution is He Zigs, She Zags! He Zigs, She Zags is amazing! There is no fluff, no unrealistic expectations, just down to earth, practical advice on having an incredible, Christ centered marriage. —Hannah W., Georgia Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you lost the spark, emotional, physical, or sexual, in your marriage? Has the fire you once had burning strong is now a flicker and dimming more and more with every day that passes? If the fire isn’t as hot as you would like it’s time to fan the flames and get it going again. For a fire to burn you need to fan the flames with oxygen, heat and fuel. It's time for you to pour each of these into your marriage and if one of these is missing you will have a difficult time trying to fan the flames of your sexual intimacy. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the 3 things that every fire needs and how you can apply these to the fan the flames needed in your bedroom. EPISODE SPONSOR | 7 Days of Sex Challenge The 7 Days of Sex Challenge makes it easy for busy couples like you to find some fun time together because it ELIMINATES the stress of figuring out what you need to do for 7 days that will be new and creative to try. You really HAVE to try new things in your sex life or you’ll both get bored. This boredom leads to your love life being no less stressful than the rest of your life. Start your challenge TODAY! [VIDEO] Look Into Each Other's Eyes Ecotones Sound + Sleep Machine Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

According to a 2014 article in The Economist, the average length of marriage in the USA is 8 years. When you factor in that many couples will wait 2-3 years after marriage to have kids you can see that there is a need to better understand the years and decade after having kids. The math from above if it plays out means that many divorces are happening midway through having kids introduced to the marriage. So... ...if this is the case then you need to be equipped and ready for the decade that follows your first child. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about making it through the first decade of parenting stronger than you started. EPISODE SPONSOR | 7 Days of Sex Challenge The 7 Days of Sex Challenge makes it easy for busy couples like you to find some fun time together because it ELIMINATES the stress of figuring out what you need to do for 7 days that will be new and creative to try. You really HAVE to try new things in your sex life or you’ll both get bored. This boredom leads to your love life being no less stressful than the rest of your life. Start your challenge TODAY! 193 - Divorce Is Off The Table Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The quickie can be an amazing sexual experience in your marriage if you know the secret to enjoying it together. In our own marriage, our sex life can be a bit off during the summer months. Different schedules, kids are home, vacations, and just hanging out. This change in seasons can be challenging if you and your spouse don’t discuss what is happening. When expectations are kept to yourself it sets the two of you up for frustration and failure. Not something either of you want. In this week's Tony and Alisa talk about setting up your quickie expectations and the necessity for both of you to enjoy a quickie in different seasons of your marriage. Episode Sponsor - The Top 10 Ways to Initiate Sex Have you been at a loss for new ways to initiate sex? Do you do the same thing every time? It’s time to spice things up and get creative. Pick up your FREE copy of the The Top 10 Ways to Initiate Sex. Scheduling Sex and The Intimacy Lifestyle Sexpectations Ecotones Sound + Sleep Machine Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you find yourself spending more and more time or being more and more distracted there is something going on. Maybe society wouldn’t call it a drug of choice. Maybe you even joke about “having a little problem”. The truth is that these choices can take you away from your spouse and pull you out of your marriage. You are “busy” and there are many demands on your time and yet you have a choice. Every relationship has it’s issues and there will be times and seasons where you will have to go through this with your spouse. In each time you get to determine how you choose to act. Numbing yourself with these other behaviors instead of dealing with them head on, doesn’t make the problem go away it only serves to postpone the inevitable that things are going to get worse. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the seemingly little things that can have an impact on your marriage also known as your drug of choice. EPISODE SPONSOR – ***Flash Sale*** Connect Like You Did When You First Met Kindle Edition Packed with questions to get the conversation started in any area of marriage this is a must have for every couple. No more just asking “how was your day” it’s time to dig deep and move past the surface talk. What better way to do this than have 101 questions to ask each other. Grab Connect Like You Did When You First Met for $2.99 during this flash sale. Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Financial stress is an intimacy killer. Plain and simple. It can keep you up at night and it keeps you worrying during the day. It’s hard to let down your guard when you are worried about paying the bills or having food on the table. The fear keeps you and your spouse from living the life, the marriage you were meant to have. Today it's time to make the decision that you are going to tell your money what to do. You are going to live an extraordinary life and it’s starts with making a change to the little expenses. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about you, your money and how getting your financial intimacy on the same page is important for your marriage, your bottom line and will allow you to have money in the bank. EPISODE SPONSOR – Connect Like You Did When You First Met Learn the most relevant and critical questions most of our couple clients have had to deal with. We categorized these questions by topic and gave them a natural, orderly sequential flow. The result? An easy to use, handy reference tool. A tool that will dramatically change the course and tone of those most critical discussions you need to have with your spouse… forever. HD AMped Antennae Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It starts with the sweet talk. Then it leads to both of you romancing each other all through the day. And then other times you just want a quickie. In all truth there is some form of communication going on between the two of you to get to the point that you are deciding to have sex. Foreplay starts (however short or long) and then it stops... Once you're past that point all there is between the two of you are a few moans or groans and the sigh of "is this over yet". The thing is that communication doesn’t end with foreplay. Each of you have to be giving each other feedback as to what is really good and what needs to be done differently. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why it is important for both you and your spouse to share what you like after foreplay is over. Episode Sponsor - The Top 10 Ways to Initiate Sex Have you been at a loss for new ways to initiate sex? Do you do the same thing every time? It’s time to spice things up and get creative. Pick up your FREE copy of the The Top 10 Ways to Initiate Sex. Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There may have been seasons in your marriage when neither one of you stood up to lead the family. You, your spouse and your marriage were like a boat with no rudder, just going around and around in circles trying to get somewhere but going nowhere. The definition of insanity is, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. If you aren't sure when, why or how to lead your marriage then it's time to begin learning. Your marriage needs leadership. You both have different skills and abilities that contribute to the marriage. Your strengths matter, learn what they are and then use them to both of your advantage to lead your marriage. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about ways that you can lead and share the leadership in your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | Sex Without Sheets Online Marriage Conference When you sign up for Sex Without Sheets you and your spouse will join the leading marriage experts who will be sharing proven tips to help you communicate your sexual needs to your spouse, the must- do steps for reigniting your romance, the guaranteed method to ensure you’re having enough sex, and so much more! Sex Without Sheets is being held on June 6, 2015. Sign up Today! Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You spend time, effort and energy in maintaining your stuff and yet, you are not giving your marriage that same courtesy. Your expectations for your marriage is so much more. The problem is that you are not giving it the tools that you and your spouse need to be successful. In your life you may see the doctor once a year, go to the dentist for regular cleanings and get the oil changed on your vehicles every 3-5,000 miles. And then there’s your marriage... When was the last time you did some maintenance work, for example an oil change, on your marriage? This isn't about when the crisis hits, like when your engine seizes on the side of the road, but the regular maintenance to make sure that your marriage is going well. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about the importance of regular maintenance, that oil change, in your marriage EPISODE SPONSOR | Sex Without Sheets Online Marriage Conference When you sign up for Sex Without Sheets you and your spouse will join the leading marriage experts who will be sharing proven tips to help you communicate your sexual needs to your spouse, the must- do steps for reigniting your romance, the guaranteed method to ensure you’re having enough sex, and so much more! Sex Without Sheets is being held on June 6, 2015. Sign up Today! 3 Tips to Read the Bible with Your Spouse Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Throughout the day you are transitioning from waking up, heading to work, coming home, going to bed to doing it all over again. The heading out times always seem to be easier, except for you parents of little ones that are leaving for the first time and there is crying to no end. Walking in the door time can be a "witching hour" for you. Whether you’ve been away for a few hours, or a few months or even just locked in your office during the day. Transitioning from your work day and walking in the door has a huge impact on your marriage. It’s the difference between a screaming match and cuddling, the difference between the silent treatment and a goodnight kiss, the difference between strife and peace. Understanding how you transition and how your spouse transitions is key for your marital growth. It allows the two of you to give each other space based on what works for the two of you, but the only way that you are able to learn this is if you TALK about it. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about walking in the door from the end of the work day back into your marriage and family life. EPISODE SPONSOR | He Zigs, She Zags Your marriage can be better than ever. With effective communication you will… Stop feeling angry and frustrated with your spouse (and avoid this affecting other areas of your life), develop lasting solutions for your marriage so you can get through anything together, restore honesty, openness and transparency with each other so you can live together with love and trust, but most importantly... create the “happily ever after” that you both deserve. Grab He Zigs, She Zags today and get started! Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The idea of running below empty is nothing new. What is new is how running below empty is impacting marriages. Possible even having a negative affect on you right now. When you are below empty what suffers the most is not your job or your obligations to others... ...instead what often suffers are your personal relationships. Specifically the one with your spouse. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about when you are running below empty and the impact that doing too much has on your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | Romance the Write Way Imagine your spouse finding your love letter placed under their pillow one night and the surprised look on their face. Imagine their eyes lighting up as they open it and read the perfectly crafted message from their caring wife or husband. Imagine knowing what to say and how to say it AND having the time to make it all happen. We know you are saying YES, show me how. Check out Romance the Write Way for all of the details. 3 Ways to Create a More Intimate Bedroom Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It can be hard to step out of your comfort zone, to try something new, to be adventurous. This can be as simple as changing your hair color (Alisa went RED once), to eating at a new restaurant, to wearing new clothes, shoes, or trying a different wardrobe style, to experimenting with a new position sexually or even GASP a new way to initiate. Your mind might be racing with questions, such as: How will I be received? What will he or she think of me? Will I be able to pull this off? What if it doesn’t work? What if I am embarrassed? This time you are pushing past all of these questions and putting on the trenchcoat and high heels. Figuratively for some of you and literally for others. You're stepping out of your comfort zone. You challenge yourself to do something you’ve never done so that you can experience something you never have. You chose to be strong in a situation that may have caused you to feel week. Each time you experience a new level of sexual intimacy with your spouse because you stepped out of your comfort zone. Each step is a baby step that leads you to be courageous in your life and your marriage. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about stepping out of what you’ve always done to surprise your spouse when you initiate sex. EPISODE SPONSOR | Trust Me! Restore, Renew & Rebuild Your Foundation Discover How Small (And Large) Breaches Of Trust Damage Your Marriage And How To Handle Them In A Healthy Way. Trust is the foundation of every marriage. But over the years little things eat away at your relationship. Little things you might not even notice. So you have to ask yourself... is your Trust Tank at 100%? Learn how-to rebuild the trust in your marriage during the Trust Me! Online Workshop. 21 Ways to Initiate Sex with Your Spouse Connect Like You Did When You First Met Strategic Marriage Coaching Session Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Distance in your marriage can be tough. This can happen in your home or it could be when you and your spouse are miles apart. This can be for work, family illness, deployment, moving to a new city, or any other reason. As much as the old saying goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder, this usually isn't the case. Distance can cause heartache, anxiety, frustration and loneliness. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about ways that you can strengthen your marriage no matter if you're together daily or living apart for a period of time. EPISODE SPONSOR | Trust Me! Restore, Renew & Rebuild Your Foundation Discover How Small (And Large) Breaches Of Trust Damage Your Marriage And How To Handle Them In A Healthy Way. Trust is the foundation of every marriage. But over the years little things eat away at your relationship. Little things you might not even notice. So you have to ask yourself... is your Trust Tank at 100%? Learn how-to rebuild the trust in your marriage during the Trust Me! Online Workshop. Romance the Write Way Qalo Rings Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You've decided that it's time. It's time to change because what's been happening isn't what you want to continue doing. You've decided to make some changes. Well... ...your spouse has just noticed that something is up and is asking, "Why are you acting like this?" You know why and yet it's a bit difficult to explain to your spouse. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what happens in your marriage dynamic when you start to work on yourself and your spouse starts wondering why you are acting differently. EPISODE SPONSOR | Trust Me! Restore, Renew & Rebuild Your Foundation Discover How Small (And Large) Breaches Of Trust Damage Your Marriage And How To Handle Them In A Healthy Way. Trust is the foundation of every marriage. But over the years little things eat away at your relationship. Little things you might not even notice. So you have to ask yourself... is your Trust Tank at 100%? Learn how-to rebuild the trust in your marriage during the Trust Me! Online Workshop. Question Behind the Question by John G. Miller Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Preparation is one of the biggest gifts that you and your spouse can give to each other and your family. And yet it’s hard to think about our own mortality. People often say that it’s the teenagers that think that they are invincible but in reality most of you think you have all the time in the world. Be prepared. When you have a document, Our Family Emergency List, you are setting yourself and your family up for a smoother transition. Not having this type of information prepared and easily accessible can leave those left behind not only grieving but frustrated, scared and lost as they try and piece things together. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what you need to do to be prepared in the event of a family emergency. EPISODE SPONSOR | Trust Me! Restore, Renew & Rebuild Your Foundation Discover How Small (And Large) Breaches Of Trust Damage Your Marriage And How To Handle Them In A Healthy Way. Trust is the foundation of every marriage. But over the years little things eat away at your relationship. Little things you might not even notice. So you have to ask yourself... is your Trust Tank at 100%? Learn how-to rebuild the trust in your marriage during the Trust Me! Online Workshop. Our Family Emergency List Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couples Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hope is in short supply in our world. From news reports talking about all of the ugliness to televisions shows that are completed scripted to bring you down. Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage it has been our goal to bring you hope each and every week. Sharing with you how your marriage can not only survive but thrive after challenges as well as for the long haul. Every hug is a story of hope, every picture on the love you guys wall of fame, ALMOST every review on iTunes (there are a few that just come from the haters) but overall it's about hope and we love hearing about your stories. It's time to put legs on the hope you have. Hope without action is just a fantasy, it’s a wish, a want. Hope with action is a force. It’s time to take action in your life and your marriage. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the ray of hope you have in your marriage and using it as a force to create transformation. EPISODE SPONSOR | Contract of Reconciliation You’ve had enough of your spouse’s antics. The word “Separation” or “Divorce” have been said in hurtful ways and now you are really considering one or both. The Contract of Reconciliation is for when you feel you need to separate to gain clarity in your marriage with the goal of being together again. 170 - What's Wrong With My Marriage... I AM Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sprinters are amazing at short bursts of energy for a short period of time. However, if your vows were anything like ours they had something like “as long as life shall last” (until death do us part, forever, etc). That is not a short period of time, that’s not until the next commercial break, or until this gets too hard. Marathoners or distance runners know that they have to pace themselves. They're in it to run the race. For them to complete it they need know that... Nutrition matters Supporters are key Planning makes a difference Shoes and clothes will impact the results. The same thing plays out in your marriage... instead of all of the different facets of a race, it’s knowing what is important for you to run the race. These include your: Emotional Intimacy Physical Intimacy Spiritual Intimacy Recreational Intimacy Financial Intimacy In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what's you need to do to run the race as you view your marriage as a marathon not a sprint. EPISODE SPONSOR | Stripped Down: 13 Keys to Unlocking the Intimacy in Your Marriage Remember back to your wedding day. We’re not talking about just the ceremony and reception. We want you to remember how you felt. Your marriage was going to last forever. You were sure of that. And then…reality set in. You think you can deal with it, and maybe you can – for a while. You still love your spouse, but it’s just not the same. Is it just a part of life? Do you let that fire die into just a smoldering pile of ashes? You don’t have to! Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking at the world, especially your marriage, from only your point of view is short sighted. By doing this... you are only taking your feelings, wants and desires into account. Over time this lack of perspective can lead to little consideration from the perspective of your spouse. What they may be going through, how the world looks to them, what they are struggling with. It's time to have some introspection time about being able to see what your marriage looks like from your spouse's eyes. Here’s the thing. Many of us are horrible at seeing things from another’s point of view. We are inherently selfish and use our perceptions, our point of view as the point of view that we focus on...this can lead to a short sighted view of your spouse. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about looking at your marriage through your spouse’s eyes, not just through your own narrow lens. EPISODE SPONSOR | He Zigs, She Zags Your marriage can be better than ever... With effective communication you will… Stop feeling angry and frustrated with your spouse (and avoid this affecting other areas of your life), develop lasting solutions for your marriage so you can get through anything together, restore honesty, openness and transparency with each other so you can live together with love and trust, but most importantly... create the “happily ever after” that you both deserve. Grab He Zigs, She Zags today and get started! Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Having sex is a beautiful experience that you and your spouse get to enjoy together. Unfortunately, there are times when having sex goes by the way side. It's at this moment when you realize that it's time to change it up. The 7 Days of Sex Challenge is just the way to have a new experience and learn about yourself and your marriage. Here's a few things you can expect to learn during a challenge: It’s a way to put each other first, even for us there can be times where we take each other for granted. It requires that you focus on all aspects of intimacy for a concentrated amount of time. This allows you to see where you need to pay more attention and be more intentional in your marriage. It’s fun, challenging and a goal you complete together. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the three marriage lessons they have learned from completing their fifth 7 days of sex challenge over the last six years. EPISODE SPONSOR - 7 Days of Sex Challenge: Rock Your Sex Life and Your Marriage Life is stressful, but when you are too busy (or tired) to find some time for sexual intimacy, it can really seem unbearable. The 7 Days of Sex Challenge makes it easy for busy couples like you to find some fun time together because it ELIMINATES the stress of figuring out what you need to do for 7 days that will be new and creative to try. Meet Jeff & Mandy from Marriage More Meet Casey & Meygan from Marriage365 Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Your marriage isn't going the way that you expected when you said "I do" to your spouse. Actually... Your spouse has expressed that it's time for the two of you to either separate for a time or get a divorce. You need to know that you are not alone. We know this doesn't make things better and yet we get many emails each and every day from couples who are where you are. In all honesty our society, as a whole does not set you up for success. Most people come into marriage with no real idea on how to make a long term relationship work. In many cases you take a reactive stance instead of a proactive stance in your marriage. This means that you will react to circumstances as they come instead of actively creating the environment that you wish to have. Living in a disposable world has created an interesting dynamic in marriage. Everything from the clothes that you wear to the cars that you drive are made so that you can get a new one even before you need it. If this model isn’t making you happy anymore or seems to have lost its luster then get a new one. That’s great when your tires wear out, not so great when the two of you have drifted apart because you aren’t working on your marriage. The old isn't working for you and the drift has certainly started... It's time for you to save your marriage. In today’s show Tony and Alisa talk about what you can do to begin the process so that you can answer the question, "how do I save my marriage". EPISODE SPONSOR - Save My Marriage There can be many reasons why you find yourself needing to save your marriage an emotional or physical affair, continued fighting and conflict, being separated due to work, ailing parents, or personal choice, mental or behavioral issues and/or pornography, alcohol, or drug abuse. You now find yourselves creeping to the edge of divorce when there is little to no emotional intimacy, spiritual connectedness and physical/sexual intimacy A divorce brings change. This should not be taken lightly at any time. If this is you, now is the time to get help. Grab Save My Marriage today. Contract of Reconciliation Worksheets One-on-One Strategic Coaching Session Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices