ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

You have waited to try something new in the bedroom for months. You purchased what you needed, set the ambiance of your room, and now it's go time. As the two of you begin having some fun you realize that this isn't going the way you had planned. The candles smell horrible. There are laughs when you turn on the vibrator. Your hotel room bed is bumpy. A long day traveling leaves you spent. Recently one of those planned situations didn't go as Tony and Alisa had expected. This week they share what happened, how each of them reacted to the same situation, and what they did to make sure that they wouldn't let this unforeseen situation disrupt them for the long haul. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fear can stop you in your tracks and hold you back from what God truly wants from you in your marriage. It's during these times of fear that you need to face what is holding you back and move forward. Peter walked on water, but it was only when he got out of the boat did this happen. (Matthew 14:29-30) It can be difficult to get out of the boat sometimes in your marriage. This week Tony and Alisa share times in their marriage when fear held them back and they didn't want to get out of the boat. Other times they jumped out of the boat to experience God's desires for them. They share both in this weeks show. CREATE Your Life Blueprint Mentorship Program Imagine having the confidence and the know-how to: State what you want out of your relationship. Balance your relationship while running your business or working your job. Take off your masks and being loved more, not less, for who you truly are. Say no to those commitments that are not in line with your personal mission statement. Recognize your dreams and desires and manifest those in your relationship. Develop a sense of gratitude for life’s experience and the journey you’re on. CREATE Your Life Blueprint will be opening soon. Sign up to be notified of the upcoming launch. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Love starts out as that butterfly feeling in the pit of your stomach; a physical emotion that washed over you when you first met your soon-to-be spouse. During this get-to-know-you stage you were swept up with everything they did with you, such as holding your hand, rubbing close to you, and those kisses. Your emotions were cranked to the hilt and everything was great. You're happy. You're in love. You get engaged, then married and as time passed the feelings of love began to disappear. Those fun things your spouse did early on in your courtship now bug you. The physical reaction you once had isn't there any longer. Its great to have your spouse around and yet you have work, kids, and other activities that occupy you. Even more time passes and real world issues cant be ignored any longer. You're at a point where you don't care about your spouse or your marriage. Its at this moment that you need to realize that love is a verb. Love is not about that butterfly feeling, but in you showing your love through action. This week we share how you can take your marriage from an attitude of "I Don't Care" to one where you are taking action and showing your love. Total Transformation Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You were raised in a family where talking about sex and your private parts was a bad. Sex was bad everywhere you went and then you got married. Now you needed to flip the switch to good sex. This has been tough for you and to this day you still have a bad sex view point even with your spouse. This week we are here to help you overcome the thoughts that are holding you back from have good sex if not great sex with your spouse. Listen in to the 3 steps to flipping the switch to good sex in your marriage. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hopefully you haven't actually had sex on a roller coaster. That would be very difficult to say the least and a bit dangerous too. No, this roller coaster is the parenting kind. The one that you a part of each and every day of your life if you have little ones to adult children living with you. The stress of raising, disciplining, educating, and being active with your kids can put the breaks on your sexual intimacy. You're unable to let go of the daily activities to be present with your spouse, you continue to replay the argument from 3 days ago, and/or you feel guilty because you missed the soccer game. This week we share how the roller coaster ride of parenting has impacted our marriage and how we are able to still have the sexual intimacy we desire in our marriage. It's doesn't happen with a snap of your finger and yet with consistent baby steps forward you will have the emotional, spiritual, and sexual connection with your spouse. 040 - Screw the Kids This is Our Marriage 140 - Scheduling Sex Total Transformation Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Stop the Glorification of Busy! It's not uncommon for you to ask someone how their day is going and the response you get is, "I'm really busy". You may even answer the same way when someone asks how your day, week, or month is going. Unfortunately, if you and your spouse are "so busy" that you don't have margin in your life you are missing opportunities when the two of you can seize the day. Yes, you need margin in your lives so that you can experience the emotional, spiritual, and sexual intimacy you desire in your marriage. Don't miss the three tips on how you can find more time in your day so that the two of you can connect. Awesome Time Logger How-to Make a Daily Devotional Part of Your Marriage Fun Board Games You Can Play to Spice Up Your Sex Life Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Consider yourself warned. Any time that you choose your parents over your spouse you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. Making sure that you have boundaries that will protect you, your spouse, and your marriage are needed. You love your parents, we love our too, and setting boundaries can be tough. Before we were married and after we were married we had to take time with both sets of parents to let them know our marriage came first. What happens is that once you set up these boundaries you are letting your spouse know that they come first. This week you will learn how you can set up boundaries in your marriage so that you can experience the passion, romance, and intimacy you desire in your marriage. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s the time of year when cupid is abuzz with love in your marriage. The cost of chocolates, roses, and jewelry double or triple and a night on the town will set you back a Benjamin or two. The card isle at Target is filled with pink, red, and purple for you to profess you love with a card in any shape, style and size. As marriage educators we are not head over heels excited about Valentine’s day. It is a day to share your love with your spouse that is for sure. Unfortunately, it’s can be like your wedding day where there is lots of effort put into that one day that there isn't much thought or plans for all of the other days. This week make Valentine's Day a launching point for what your marriage is going to be for the rest of the year. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Your desire to be closer and more intimate with your spouse. Emotionally, financially, and sexually you are there and yet your spiritual intimacy is lagging behind. Maybe you've even tried a few times (or many times) without success. We get it! We've been spiritually empty in our marriage. One thing though is that when you come together and dive into your spiritual intimacy it will take your marriage to another level. Spending time together in God's word and in prayer allows the two of you to take off your masks, strip down, get naked, and truly bare your souls. You will do this with God your Father and with one another. You can start a daily devotional with your spouse in 4 simple steps. Get it started today so that you will reap the benefits of this most intimate act for years to come. Daily Devotional Top Ten List YouVersion App Bible Gateway Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this digital age that you live in how often do you write a hand written love letter or get a romantic love letter? There is something to be said about this lost art of letter writing to that connects you to your spouse. The few moments it takes to express your love on paper can last a lifetime. This week we share how you can write a quick romantic love letter to your spouse so that you can express your feelings on paper or in a card. Don't miss the one simple tip to start your letter that will make it easy for you to get started. List of Feelings Secret Message Writing Set President Ronald Reagan wrote many love letters to Nancy Reagan, starting when they first met and continued through their time in the White House and beyond. He wrote this love letter to her on Valentine's Day 1977. “Dear St. Valentine, I’m writing to you about a beautiful young lady who has been in this household for 25 years now—come March 4. I have a request to make of you but before doing so feel you should know more about her. For one thing she has 2 hearts—her own and mine. I’m not complaining. I gave her mine willingingly, and like it right where it is. Her name is Nancy but for some time now I’ve called her Mommie and don’t believe I could change. My request of you is—could you on this day whisper in her ear that someone loves her very much and more and more each day? Also tell her, this “Someone” would run down like a dollar clock without her so she must always stay where she is.” A romantic love letter doesn't have to be long to get your feeling across to your love one. Write that love letter and express your desires to your spouse. How do you feel when you receive a hand written love letter from your spouse? Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Professional football is coming to a close with only one game left, the Super Bowl. The tryouts, practices, scrimmages, and the start of the season started long ago. The players began preparing themselves as well as the cheerleaders many months ago. It's the players on the field playing for that Super Bowl ring, but the cheerleaders on the sideline play an important roll on the field as well. Today we talk about the cheerleaders in your life and in your marriage. You need a cheerleader and you need to be a cheerleader in your marriage. This week we go over who a cheerleader is and how you can be the best cheerleader in your marriage. We also share how you can be the best cheerleader your spouse has. Make it a point to learn about how you can cheer on your spouse around the house, in the bedroom, in their personal development, and in any other way that they need. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Taking time away and enjoying a sensual shower or bath can do wonders for your marriage. It's a time where you and your spouse are showing everything to one another and yet it brings you closer together. This time in the shower or bath can enhance your emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy in ways other places can't. This week we share 9 reasons why you should be taking a shower/bath with your spouse on a regular basis. Relieves Stress It's Romantic Your Spouse Can Scrub Your Back Have Fun & Let Loose You Feel Sexy It's a Cheap Date There's Steam & Bubbles Water is Sensual Great Place to Communicate One of these or all of these may be why you enjoy taking a shower/bath with your beloved. What is it about showering with your spouse that you enjoy? Thrive90 Fitness Program 8 Skills to Revive Your Communication Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It started out innocently. The conversation was fun, the walks were refreshing, you were losing weight together, and you were connecting. It wasn't that you were physically attracted and yet you became emotionally attached. Without you realizing it you are now in an emotional affair. This week we share a listeners experience with an emotional affair. She goes in depth on how it started, it's progression, and how it came to an end. As the emotional affair ended, but the ripples affected her marriage and her connection with her husband. There are clear steps and choices that lead to an emotional affair. Protect yourself and your marriage from an affair before it even begins. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whether you are kicking off the New Year or looking to set goals that will impact your marriage you need to get Ready, Set, Go! Making time for the two of you to be on the same page and what you'd like to accomplish is the first step toward an extraordinary marriage. The two of you may want to connect emotionally, spiritually, sexually or this may be the year you tackle your finances together. What ever you choose to do being on the same page and having your goals written down will help you stay the course. If you desire to live, love, and grow you are going to have to take steps to get there. There is no better way to do this then to set actionable SMART goals. No more excuses! It's time to have the marriage filled with romance, passion, and intimacy. 5x5+5 Goal Sheet Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The excitement of Christmas or vacation can have an impact on when and if you are able to make love. Being somewhere other than your house, kids, relatives, friends, and the like make having sex on these occasions a little tougher. It doesn't mean you can make it happen though. Have you ever wanted to make love on Christmas or steal away for some alone time on vacation? You have the best intentions of finding the time to rendezvous and yet you don't plan to make it happen. Before you know it the time is gone and you're frustrated that you weren't able to have sex. You find yourselves looking at each other thinking, "Why didn't that work out for us? What could we have done differently?" The key is planning so you can make sex something that happens on a holiday or vacation. The best part if you take the steps you are going to be unwrapping the best present of all-your spouse. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The events that unfolded at Sandy Hook Elementary School rocked us as we heard about what happened. We sat in our chairs after we recorded this podcast as tears filled our eyes. How is it that this week we would be talking about grief during the holidays and this tragic event happens? We do not know why, but we serve an awesome God. Our prayers go to the families and marriages that have been impacted by loss. We look back over eight years as we celebrate the short life of our son Andrew. He never took a breath and yet his life has impacted our marriage in many ways. This week we talk about how time has healed our broken hearts and our broken marriage. In both dark times and joyous times it is amazing how God has worked in us. If you are hurting during the holidays and are trying to cope our prayer is that you'll implement the 5 tips From Mourning to Joy and put them to use in your life today. 5 Tips From Mourning to Joy Save your energy for the most important things. Be a delegator. Let others handle holiday preperations. Find quiet time for you. Scale down holiday activities. Watch you use of alcohol and medications. Pray For Kaia: She Is Such A Gift Mercy Me - The Hurt & The Healer Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What was marriage like before we did our 60 Days of Sex Challenge? This was a question we were asked from a listener who is going through a tough time right now. When you are in the depths of those valleys it is sometimes hard to see what's ahead. Your ability to look down the path and see what's ahead is squelched. We know where you are! We've been there before. This week we go back 5+ years to share with you where we were before we started that fateful challenged that changed us and our marriage forever. It wasn't a great time for our marriage and yet when we pivoted and started the 60 Days of Sex Challenge everything changed for us. What pivot point in your marriage has brought you out of the valley to the mountain top? Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Your brain can and does impact your marriage. Those negative thoughts and positive thoughts that play in your mind will determine the outcome of how you react to your spouse. These thoughts play like a broken record and can stop you from taking action to better your marriage. The power of your words come after the but. My Marriage is Great But... When you use a BUT in your sentence you only focus on what comes after the BUT. This could be a positive or negative statement-unfortunately it's mostly negative. It's time to take control of what comes after the BUT in that sentence. It's time to rewrite your story. Starting today you are going to make a conscious decision to focus on the positives and rewrite the future. You will be amazed at what you can accomplish when you set out to change the ending of the story by changing what you say. Train Your Brain Dress Your Best Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Your year is about to get even crazier. Thanksgiving started the season of busy for you and your spouse and it will not end until after Christmas if you are lucky. This is the time of year when you can feel completely overwhelmed! The obligations of the holidays on top of the busyness of your regular life has you grasping for some quality time with your spouse. Finding time for you and your spouse to connect leads to frustration on both of your parts and snippiness factor rises. Like you we have lots on our plate during this holiday season as well. We have to get creative when we can't get a babysitter or the kids don't want to go to bed in our time frame. Even though this may happen we make the time for a sexy marriage. The time is now for you to spend 15 minutes a week spending quality time together and on your marriage so that the both of you can start 2013 off on the right foot. Use one or a few of the creative solutions we share in this show to help you find the time this holiday season to create your own sexy marriage. Food Passionista Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The key to thriving in your marriage each and every year is to take time to share what you are thankful for in your marriage. This is a time when the busyness of every day life is put aside so that you can honor your spouse. Grab a piece of paper, write down 5-10 reasons why you are thankful for your marriage, and then sit down with your spouse and share. This week we go over our "I'm Thankful For..." list with each other and you. During this time we listen, acknowledge, and respond to what we say to each other. When you dig deeper into your emotional intimacy will pay dividends in your marriage for years to come. I'm Thankful For... is one time during the year when each of you can let loose and pour out all the goodness that has and is happening in your marriage. It's a time to celebrate all that you are thankful for in your life. Go on and get that list going so you can share it with your spouse. Jesus Calling Les Mills Pump How-to Jump Start Your Sex Drive with Libido Boosting Vitamins and Minerals Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're hiding something from your spouse and it is weighing you down. Maybe you have an addiction that your spouse doesn't know about. Perhaps you've spent more money than you shouldn't have and you haven't told them. Has that lunch partner become something more? Living with these burdens can stop you and your spouse from connecting emotionally, physically, spiritually, and sexually. You are constantly looking over your shoulder wondering if someone might let the secret out. You know you need to tell the truth and yet you don't know how to approach your spouse. In this episode we share a number of times in our past when we came forth and told the truth. Telling the truth has brought us closer to each other and one reason why our marriage has exploded over the past 5 years. It's time for you to start living your life without lies or deceit. Living a life of deception will wear you out. Create the extraordinary marriage that you desire by telling the truth. The 50% Divorce Rate Is a Myth (Faith Permeating Life) Right click to download | Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It can be tough to bring two families together and blend them into one family. Between exes, kids, alimony, child support, and ex-in laws it can be a real challenge for the two of you to find time to make intimacy a priority in your marriage. It is time to fight for your marriage and your blended family. Communication is the key to making this marriage work. Take off your masks, place all of your baggage on the table and decide that the two of you are committed to making this marriage work. It starts when you get your priorities in order: God, spouse, kids, work and finally other activities. Yours, Mine and Ours Right click to download | Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You may have come to a point in your marriage where sexual intimacy isn't happening any longer. The thought of you and your spouse having sex brings up anxiety in you. This in turn is stopping the both of you from moving forward and having the sexual intimacy you desire. This week we answer in detail how you can get the sexual intimacy back in your marriage. It's simple and something the two of you have done many times before. The thing is that you may not be giving this as much attention as you should. Start from the beginning of when you first were physically intimate with each other and start kissing with passion. Text the Romance Back (aff link) Right click to download | Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sometimes it seems like life is just too busy. You are running around here, there, and everywhere. The thing is that you sense a distance from your spouse and you need to connect. You need to connect emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. It's time to get radical in your marriage and make a change! This week we share all about the Intimacy Lifestyle. That's right, scheduling sex so you can connect in all areas of your marriage. FREE E-BOOK: 6 Pillars of Intimacy: The Secret to Intimacy That Last In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach. Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo’s proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse—starting today. Click the link below to grab your free ebook. 6 Pillars of Intimacy: The Secret to Intimacy That Last Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Trying different positions while making love is something that we struggled with early on in our marriage. Since we learned little about the birds and the bees it is no wonder we had a difficult time when it came to different positions. Have you experienced a wall when it comes to trying new positions in your bed? We totally get it! In this episode we talk about the fears each of us face when it came to trying something new. Over the years we have experimented more and we've found our go to positions that we enjoy. We share them with you. It's now your turn to get out of your positions box and experience something new and exciting. What hinders you from experiencing a new position? Right click to download | Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I sat in a conference room this weekend for Allison Maslan's Blast Off! Business Breakthrough. It started on my anniversary and I will have to say I was excited to be there. This was mine and Tony's way of celebrating. I know it's kinda weird, but heck we aren't normal anyway. Many of the attendees there thought we were a bit weird once they learned about the awesome ONE Community! Over the weekend Tony took the opportunity to put his money where his mouth is and showed me just how much he believes in me. It really lifted my spirits and put the wind beneath my wings. When was the last time that you showed your spouse just how much they mean to you? Our spouses need to hear and see just how important they are to us. Verbally sharing and showing your spouse how you invest in your marriage will pay dividends. Sam the Cooking Guy 16 Reasons Why I Still Love My Wife After 16 Years of Marriage Right click to download | Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Love is active and love impacts the world in very big ways. When you first meet your spouse love was active and running rampant in you. Love was active, making you do things that made an impact. This week we had the opportunity to experience Bob Goff, author of Love Does, share how he does love around the world. Bob is charismatic, animated, and in love with doing to make an impact in this world. Love is something you need to be doing in your marriage as well as your community at large. Love Does! You have been blessed with tremendous gifts and passions and it's time to put all that love into your spouse. Love Does by Bob Goff (Affiliate Link) Sleepless San Diego video Right click to download | Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Live from the inside out for lasting satisfaction in your life and marriage starts with you being authentic with yourself. This authenticity is the DNA that God has placed inside of you that makes your heart sing when you are YOU! You are an amazing creation that has the ability to be the same person no matter if you are at work, at church, with a group of friends, or in your bedroom with your spouse. Coming to realize who that person is across all of these groups is the tough part. Take time over the next week and take a step back to see how you act in different groups. Ask your spouse to give honest feedback of how you act in different surroundings. Are you being Authentically YOU? What is it about you that makes you Authentically YOU? Right click to download | Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In your marriage the power of touch, non-sexual and sexual, are vitally important to your well being. Did you know that touch can ease your pains, lessen anxiety in your marriage, soften the blows of life that come your way, generate hope and has the power to heal you? Your hand upon your spouse can also slow their heart rate, give them a feeling of relaxation and the spiritual connection is long lasting. When words can't say everything you hope for touching your spouse can speak volumes. In this podcast we'll cover four forms of touch that you can have in your marriage. Connecting Touch Light Touch Companionship Touch Intimate Touch Which of the touches do you do most often in your marriage? Right click to download | Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sexual rejection is tough on the spouse who is initiating sex. In our society the focus has been that of the husband getting rejected when initiating sex. Unfortunately, it's becoming more common for the husband to reject his wife. Long hours at work, gaming late into the night, pornography, emotional affairs, and other distractions are contributing to this behavior. In this show we look at the role reversal of when a wife initiates sex and continuously gets rejected. The impact this has on a marriage can cause insecurities that will effect both of you. Having been through sexual rejection in our marriage there are some questions you need to ask yourself so that you can break free of this cycle. How do I connect with my husband before we walk into the bedroom? Are there underlying issues that need to be addressed? Would an Intimacy Lifestyle benefit our marriage? We believe in both of you and your willingness to serve each other. What makes initiating sex with your husband difficult? LIVE EVENT Oct. 13, 2012 - He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path 7 Days of Sex Challenge Right click to download | Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week Tony and Alisa catch you up on all of the exciting developments that are being worked on at ONE Extraordinary Marriage. Over the last year the growth of listeners and readers has been amazing. All of your input via email, voice mail, or commenting on Facebook or Twitter have had us discussing how we can impact you and more marriage now and into the future. We need your help and prayers as we continue on this journey. He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path Live Event - Our 1st live event will be held October 13th, inSan Diego. Who do you know that needs to work on their communication? Who can you introduce us to that we might be able to help us promote this event? Live Talk Radio Show - It is our desire to connect with you in a live talk show format, where you can call in and get your questions answered on the air. This will be on internet radio so that no matter where you are you can still listen in. Right now our biggest needs are advertisers to launch the show. New Products - It's time to help you build your marriage toolbox and we are creating the tools to help you do just that. Through step-by-step exercises we will get you moving toward that extraordinary marriage. Make sure you sign up for the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Newsletter. Right click to download | Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Facing those skeletons in your closet can be hard. This week Tony shares about getting his girlfriend pregnant in college and then paying for the abortion. This event still impacts him 21 years later. Bringing up the skeletons in you past might not be worth the anguish to you. Fear, anxiety, and judgement stop you from letting go and releasing the skeletons. Instead you are held hostage, afraid to become the spouse you desire. You probably hear those voices telling you that you can't bring up these events to your spouse. The voices tell you that you are not worthy and by sharing you are only going to do damage to your marriage. The reality is that you can do it! You are brave! Jesus is holding out his hand right there next to you. He has come along side you to be there when you go through this time. He's there with a listening ear, not trying to solve the problem but a source of hope and love. Taking that step out of the boat and onto the crashing waves and toward Jesus can be life-changing. Your marriage will grow and flourish because you are being your most authentic self. What's keeping you in your boat? He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path (Live Event) Voice of Truth - Casting Crowns Right click to download the MP3 | Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question or call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is sex a stigma in your marriage? Has the past held you back from completely enjoying the amazing bond you could be having with your spouse? Sex ed or learning about the birds and the bees are an integral part of how you view sex in your marriage. Parents or other respected individuals may not have talked to you about sex, told you it was bad, or mentioned very little that didn't help you prepare for sex in marriage. You may have even been called names or had labels put on you because you looked a certain way. The lack of sex education combined with being labeled growing up has left you frustrated. Friends, movies, porn, or experimenting played a big part in how you approach sex in your marriage, but you can't seem to let the past go. This week Tony & Alisa share what they learned or didn't learn about the birds and the bees growing up. They want to help you overcome the past so that you can fully enjoy sex with your spouse. Right click to download the MP3 | Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question or call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The lights are dim in your bedroom and in the corner there is a blue chair. Jesus is sitting there. He is omnipresent in your life and right now he is waiting for you to allow Him into your sex life. Unfortunately, the reality is that you are to quick to compartmentalize Him out of your bedroom. You want to control this area as the thought of Him being there is a bit weird. Instead of developing a reliance on God to help flourish your marriage you are trying to control all aspects of it. You cannot do this thing called marriage by yourself. We challenge you this week to invite Jesus into your marriage, into your bedroom. Jesus is sitting in a blue chair in your bedroom as you make love to your spouse. What’s running through your mind? See what others had to say on Facebook. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Illness, sickness, injuries, and other long term ailments can change the dynamics of your marriage. When this happens you have to adjust to having "A New Normal." In this episode we share how you have to re-learn all of your intimacies in light of changed circumstances. In your marriage that may mean figuring out new ways to be physically intimate, exploring different types of recreational intimacy or a renewed focus on spiritual intimacy. Look at these life changes as opportunities for growth rather than as obstacles blocking your path. What have you and your spouse done to connect during a extended sickness? Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The wedding bells ring, you say your "I do's", and the honeymoon is bliss. You're married, the two of you have become ONE and yet you're not on the same TEAM. Shortly after that blissful day you find yourselves on opposite sides working against each other. You didn't expect this to happen in your marriage, yet it has. In this episode, we introduce you to another way to focus on your TEAM. Looking at each of these will enable you to tackle issues in your marriage with a plan. T - Talk: He said to them, “For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open. If anyone has ears to hear, let them hear.” Mark 4:22-23 E - Effort: As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead. James 2:26 A - Attitude: May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had... Romans 15:5 M - Motivation: Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people... Ephesian 6:7 What will you do to be on the same TEAM with your spouse? Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This past week we received an email from a listener asking why her husband won't come right out and ask for sex. There is cuddling, kissing, and yet he won't come out and ask for sex. Join Tony and Alisa as they talk about the fear of rejection, the different love languages in marriage and why it's so important to have conversations about sex before they grow into something larger. The 5 Love Languages (affiliate link via Amazon) Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As you sit in your living room laughing from the depth of your belly, tears rolling down your face, the world is left behind and all you see is your spouse smiling and laughing too. Both of you enjoying a moment that has pushed aside the emergencies of the day and allowed the two of you to enjoy one another. Laughter is beneficial in many ways. In your marriage laughter allows for you to let loose and have fun. Your endorphines, your body's natural feel good chemicals, are released and you never know where you might go from there. In this weeks show Tony and Alisa talk about how laughter hasn't been a big part of their marriage. They share their struggles with this and what they are doing to get some laughter back into their house. Heaven is for Real (Aff link) Things Not to Say to Your Wife by Tim Hawkins Sinbad Where You Been? (Marriage segment starts at 12:00 mark) Laughter is the Best Medicine What do you and your spouse do that makes both of you laugh? Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's natural to fantasize, but are you fantasizing about your spouse or someone else? Fantasies can be a great way to spice things up in your marriage by changing things up. The opposite side is that they can also tear down the foundations of your marriage. In this episode we share the bad and good of fantasies in our marriage and how you can have mind blowing sex when you approach fantasies the right way. Do you and your spouse have fantasies that you play out in your marriage? 4 E's to Live Your Marriage By - Don't miss the special bonus Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What kind of checking account do you have? The truth is that finances are always going to be a part of your marriage and how you come to handle money will color many aspects of your married years. Each of us comes into marriage with financial baggage. Learning how to join that financial history together is one challenge that ALL married couples face. For us, the decision to have a joint account was indicative of our decision to be unified in all aspects of our marriage. For other, having separate accounts allows them to have more control over how money is spent. 15 Reasons Why You Should Have a Joint or Separate Checking Account Do you and your spouse have a joint account or choose to have separate accounts? Why? Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Men it's time! It's time to show your wife how much you honor and cherish her. In this world where battles are raging against marriage every minute of the day your wife needs to know that the two of you are on the battle field together. She needs to know that there is nothing that you wouldn't do for her. Make a decision that after God she is next on your list of priorities. Do it today! Ephesians 6:10-18 Stripped Down Small Group Podcast Series Are you on the battlefield with your spouse? Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many of us don't like confrontation. To avoid a confrontation we'll us different strategies. One of the most damaging is by saying one thing to our spouses with the full intention of doing something else. Instead of being honest with our spouse, we sabotage our marriage with these deceptions. This behavior requires us to expend so much more energy in trying to keep up pretenses then if we had just said the truth in the first place. It's time to draw that line in the sand and decide whether or not you are going to be a person that you can spouse can always count on. Blow Up My Marriage (Affiliate Link) 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition As C.S. Lewis once said, “Sex that is too serious is deprived of the romp and fun that is essential to a healthy enjoyment of sex.” After reading this book, you’ll be armed with the knowledge on what you need to do to have your own 7 Days of Sex Challenge. Every year our marriages need to be growing and it is important for you to accomplish something that will set it up for a lot of growth. Grab 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition today! Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week's podcast comes from our son and little league baseball. We're sure that many of you can relate to kids and their athletic endevours. Early in the season, his first season playing baseball, things were not going so well. He wanted to quit just like many of us want to do at times in our marriage. We asked his coach to talk to him about the problems he was facing on the ball field. His attitude changed, his playing changed and he was having a blast. Even though his game improved and that of his time they couldn't seem to get a win. In fact they only won 3 games out of 23 this season. In every game, they continued to show up, continued to play hard and continued to believe that they could win. Why are we grown ups so quick to give up? Why are we so quick to throw in the towel? It's time we took a lesson from the kids and realized that if things aren't going well, if we desire a different outcome then we are going to have put forth some effort, we are going to have to work to overcome the challenges we are facing. Behind every happy couple lies to people... The Cure: What if God isn’t who you think He is and neither are you? 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition As C.S. Lewis once said, “Sex that is too serious is deprived of the romp and fun that is essential to a healthy enjoyment of sex.” After reading this book, you’ll be armed with the knowledge on what you need to do to have your own 7 Days of Sex Challenge. Every year our marriages need to be growing and it is important for you to accomplish something that will set it up for a lot of growth. Grab 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition today! Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Summer is here and it's time to add some adventure into your physical intimacy. This is a lighthearted look at many different places that you can have sex. Get out of your "comfort zone" and have some fun this summer. What places have you or would you like to make love? Share with us below. The Adoption Key Emergency Kit (video) 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition As C.S. Lewis once said, “Sex that is too serious is deprived of the romp and fun that is essential to a healthy enjoyment of sex.” After reading this book, you’ll be armed with the knowledge on what you need to do to have your own 7 Days of Sex Challenge. Every year our marriages need to be growing and it is important for you to accomplish something that will set it up for a lot of growth. Grab 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition today! Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This weeks podcast is about finding your way back to intimacy after struggling for years with infertility. We share ideas that we have learned from friends of ours who have found intimacy in their marriage after years of struggling with infertility. When we started this episode our main goal is to give a voice to all of you who have struggled with infertility. The ONE community needs for you to share how you overcame your struggles with infertility. Speak up in the comments below. I Am Second - Scott Hamilton The Cure: What if God isn't who you think He is and neither are you? 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition As C.S. Lewis once said, “Sex that is too serious is deprived of the romp and fun that is essential to a healthy enjoyment of sex.” After reading this book, you’ll be armed with the knowledge on what you need to do to have your own 7 Days of Sex Challenge. Every year our marriages need to be growing and it is important for you to accomplish something that will set it up for a lot of growth. Grab 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition today! Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Great expectations... All of us have them. The way we want things done, the way we want those in our life to do what we want and yet, it doesn't always turn out the way we want. What do we do then? Sometimes we lash out, sometimes we shut down, but really there has got to be a better way. What would it look like if you changed the way you communicated with your spouse? What would happen if you expressed your expectations? Big Question to Ask: What is it about our marriage that is important to you? The Cure: What if God isn't who you think He is and neither are you? 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition As C.S. Lewis once said, “Sex that is too serious is deprived of the romp and fun that is essential to a healthy enjoyment of sex.” After reading this book, you’ll be armed with the knowledge on what you need to do to have your own 7 Days of Sex Challenge. Every year our marriages need to be growing and it is important for you to accomplish something that will set it up for a lot of growth. Grab 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition today! Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Who is at the center of your marriage? Have you thought about that. Really taken the time to sit down with your spouse and discuss who is at the center of your marriage. As we prepare for the 3rd annual 7 Days of Sex Challenge we are looking back at when we fully committed to letting Christ be the center of our marriage. It wasn't that long ago, but once we realized that neither one of us was the center lots of good things began to happen. This year we feel the gentle nudge from God to talk about spiritual intimacy as we enjoy the physical intimacy in our marriage. Commit to joining us for the 7 Days of Sex Challenge and be ready to bring God into your marriage and into your bedroom. 3rd Annual 7 Days of Sex Challenge I Am Second Lifetime 7 Days of Sex Episode 1 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition As C.S. Lewis once said, “Sex that is too serious is deprived of the romp and fun that is essential to a healthy enjoyment of sex.” After reading this book, you’ll be armed with the knowledge on what you need to do to have your own 7 Days of Sex Challenge. Every year our marriages need to be growing and it is important for you to accomplish something that will set it up for a lot of growth. Grab 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition today! Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You have a choice everyday to either have Mad, Passionate, Extraordinary Love or Mediocrity love. No where is it said or written that you have to "settle" for anything in your marriage. Just because you've been married for (insert years married here) years doesn't mean that you can't be crazy in love. Go have Mad, Passionate, Extraordinary Love today! 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition As C.S. Lewis once said, “Sex that is too serious is deprived of the romp and fun that is essential to a healthy enjoyment of sex.” After reading this book, you’ll be armed with the knowledge on what you need to do to have your own 7 Days of Sex Challenge. Every year our marriages need to be growing and it is important for you to accomplish something that will set it up for a lot of growth. Grab 7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition today! Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Over this last week we have heard from many couples that are struggling with emotional affairs, separation or even divorce. It's been frustrating for us to hear the lines spouses are saying during these times such as: You don't make me happy anymore. I don't think I have ever loved you. This other person is so much more in tuned with me. When one spouse is trying to justify the decisions that they are making it wreaks havoc for the marriage. Stop making excuses, have the conversations that you need to build your marriage and fight for it. 7 Days of Sex Challenge book launch - Friday April 20th, 2012 from 9am-11am PST on Ustream 3rd Annual 7 Days of Sex Challenge - Sunday May 6th - Saturday May 12th, 2012 Winning the Clutter War Intimacy & Desire Stephen Fishwick (painter) **NEW** Stripped Down Kindle Version Remember back to your wedding day. We’re not talking about just the ceremony and reception. We want you to remember how you felt. Your marriage was going to last forever. You were sure of that. And then…reality set in. You think you can deal with it, and maybe you can – for a while. You still love your spouse, but it’s just not the same. Is it just a part of life? Do you let that fire die into just a smoldering pile of ashes? You don’t have to! Grab Stripped Down: 13 Keys to Unlocking Intimacy in Your Marriage Kindle Edition today! Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Our house saga is finally coming to a close as we wrap up the short sale. Over the last 4 months we've had the opportunity to really think about those things that serve as a distraction to our marriage. Are you so wrapped up in work or with your friends that you forget to spend time with your spouse? Do the financial burdens cause worry and stress? Are you holding back emotionally out of fear? It's time to simplify your life, to take stock of where you are and decide to make changes and grow. Winning the Clutter War **NEW** Stripped Down Kindle Version Remember back to your wedding day. We’re not talking about just the ceremony and reception. We want you to remember how you felt. Your marriage was going to last forever. You were sure of that. And then…reality set in. You think you can deal with it, and maybe you can – for a while. You still love your spouse, but it’s just not the same. Is it just a part of life? Do you let that fire die into just a smoldering pile of ashes? You don’t have to! Grab Stripped Down: 13 Keys to Unlocking Intimacy in Your Marriage Audio Book today! Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices