Nerd Poker

Though the group has arrived at the ancestral home of Queep's people, there seems to be a simple matter of getting to the elder/cloudy mountain without the giant punching them to death like so many aarakocra. The only way seems to be into the mountain and then underground, so it's time to sneak and hunt down some cracks.

The Ice Five appear to have worn out their welcome in Wexhall as the Barrowsteppes Dragons descend on the town, looking for their prey. The alliance with the Archmage may have to wait, as it's time for the Ice Five to do what they do best: run like hell. It's also time to announce our August drawing winner! Congrats!

The showdown with the Archmage of Vanzervale continues, and things get pretty brutal. The Ice Five have a lot they want the Archmage to answer for, but he's not a particularly warm and welcoming sort. They'll have to hurry too, as there's supposedly dragons nearby with a bounty on their heads.

Many choices have led the Ice Five to this small village wedged between cliffs, fireworks about to go off, a lottery about to begin. But what are they willing to sacrifice to meet with the Archmage of Vanzerzale, and will they meet with him at all? A big hand is about to be played. Listen and find out what kind.

A brief message from your pals at Nerd Poker. To donate to Therapy Dogs International, check out https://www.tdi-dog.org/Donations.aspx. Thanks nerds!

First things first, the Ice Five is facing down some gnomish guards that they kinda sorta accidentally picked a fight with. The hope is that they can continue to travel east and locate the Archmage of Vanzervale and get him to explain what happened to the landscape. Probably nothing to it as long as everyone's super persuasive to new friends, right? Oh, right, they're accidentally in a fight with two gnome guards.

Quite a fun little pickle the Ice Five have gotten themselves into. Dratlanna's war ship is about to attack the Thixxits, and here's the Time Boat just sitting on the dock. Hey, what's the worst that could happen?

The Ice Five have fought hard for the mysterious artifact they found in the caves. Thing is, they're now expected to hand it over to some mind-flayers, and they're not so sure that this was such a great call in the first place. As they trudge through the snowy hills along the coast it becomes increasingly clear that they made a series of real weird choices. And now you, dear listener, may enjoy the culmination of these choices!

Beneath the mountains along the coastline on a quest to recover an artifact for their friendly mind flayer acquaintances, the Ice Five have vanquished a bulette but still have a terrifying otherworldly hag to deal with. The battle has now raged long enough for them to consider, oh yeah, SHOULD we be helping MIND FLAYERS? Sarah is back and certainly has some thoughts on the last few major choices the Ice Five have made. But they're in deep now, so hopefully everyone will get to keep their brains.

The battle only gets more intense, and the Ice Five realize how even some dangerous mind flayers could to meet their doom down in this cavern. TikTok (aka Boss) does his best to protect Gus (aka Boss) from the bus-sized beast pinballing around the cavern, but there is more than one horror in the deep. Once again Halcyne is driven by the DM, but Sarah will be back soon.

Our heroes have hit a crossroads: do the Ice Five continue their journey south towards Dame Island and the mysterious Archmage of Vanzervale, or do they stop for a moment and talk to some seemingly not-that-evil mind flayers? In previous campaigns our cast was likely to murder anyone that looks at them funny, so could they possibly want to stop and commiserate with these incredibly creepy brain devourers? Answer: maybe! Sarah could not make it this episode or next, we beg your forgiveness.

It's been a real tense negotiation with Havoccula, and now the Ice Five hopes to ditch him and come out to the coast to have a few laughs, specifically the coast from the North Sea heading on the outer ridge of the giant comet whirlpool. Their travels could take them past where our first episode found them, only now far down on sea level.

The Ice Five have been negotiating with the corrupted dragon known as Havoccula, and so far they seem to go together like peanut butter and bleach. Of course they'd love to just stab him in his gross face, but he has the habit of flying out of stab range and generally appearing far more powerful than our heroes. Will Halcyne's fiery eyes scare him into submission???

Hey listeners! We wanted to share the audio of Twitch broadcast at the official Dungeons and Dragons event "The Descent," which was of course hell-themed, and our little story takes place between Season 3's Episodes 14 and 15ish. Plus we've got Engineer Sam Keiffer playing along the whole time as Terry! We played a game on live streaming video! This is of course only the audio, so forgive the sight gags the audio quality that comes with video streaming and the ambient sound of convention attendees.

It's been a mad dash back to the Time Boat, and now with the entire Ice Five is converging upon the boat in various states of battle damage. Once they're on board, there's a very special visitor who wants to have a word with our heroes.

Sarah is back, and just in time to steer Halcyne out of the airship wreckage with Dr. Uid and TikTok as all three must decide if it's worth waiting for their pal Queep to set down Dargthur and take turngs flying them down to the Time Boat. More drastic measures may be in order. Something seems to be approaching through the storm clouds, something much bigger than an aarakocra carrying his half-drow friend.

It's time to leave the wreck of the observatory airship, only it's been a little while since the Ice Five visited their pals on the boat, so things might not be exactly the way they were left. No Sarah this episode as she had to call it an early night, but fear not, she'll be back next time in Episode 20!

It's time to explore the main deck of the scientific observatory that turned into an airship, so you better believe our heroes are hungry for loot and answers. As they approach the very spot they stood at Episode 1 of this Cloddenheim adventure, the odds also increase that they'll stumble upon a frustrating gnomish riddle or two.

The battle concludes, with a half-digested Halcyne in the balance, a frozen sea and an TikTok origin story laying ahead of the party to north. Hey, make sure to listen all the way to the end of the episode for more about our upcoming live Twitch event on May 19th! Also "date paste" is a spicy Skittles ingredient.

Chris Tallman returns, and before the great sea monster battle continues, Dan forces the crew to retroactively name their heroic group for the citizens of Boazor so that they may be remembered. But when the action shifts back, things get dire fast. At least there's gigantic boat weapons to play with!

Our heroes having just interrogated the living heck out of Haushinka's the drow, they now sit upon a throne of clues. Is that a thing we just made up, a throne of clues? We'll have to use that in-game at some point. Anyhow, at long last, nautical backstories draw our heroes towards the sea. And sadly yes, Chris Tallman is missing one more time, but worry not! He is back next episode, we've recorded it and everything, his intense sexual energy will flow through our microphones again before you know it.

We open on our heroes interrogating Haushinka the drow, and leaving few stones unturned. And not to be undone, Sister Briarlock may have one more surprise to reveal about Dr. Uid, and we're not just talking about that "wild magic" stuff normally reserved for sorcerers. Secrets, secrets, secrets! Sadly we are without Chris Tallman and his intense energy both this episode and next (everyone went on Spring Break vacations this April and his was hardest to work around) but we promise more of him ASAP!

After having instigated a series of mercenary bribes gone sour, our heroes have a few loose ends to tie up (stab) before they can move on. And if they can, there is a certain temple to visit, and a certain drow friend their who may have regained her faculties by now.

A despot deposed, our heroes struggle with their newfound responsibility, including whether they should share their newfound glory with the local dregs under Thoggis' employ. TikTok soul-searches himself, and others.

The most epic battle yet unfolds, and our heroes discover that they have stumbled into the lair of something far more sinister (and gross) than they had originally anticipated. Only luck will allow them to escape with their lives. Sadly Blaine missed out on this episode, but don't worry, he's fine and will be back next episode!

A plan is hatched to free the city of Boazor, but funny thing about plans. There is sneaking in the night. Blood is spilled. And, at the end of the episode, Boazor's biggest secret may be revealed.

Having sent Thoggis a message and declared their opposition to his rule over Boazor, the heroes hide in the alleys contemplating their next move. Everyone could use a rest, but can they find a safe haven after curfew? The quest for a Free Boazor continues.

Dargthur's drinking celebration rained upon, our heroes continue to unleash on Dugthuk the tithe-collecting troll. Queep tests his durability. Halcyne achieves a moral victory. Dr. Uid whips it. TikTok scolds.

As the crew prepares to breathe the seaside air, they struggle with another one of Dan's damned puzzles. On the other side of a stone door lies Boazar, the home of Dargthur Sturry and his seaside pals, and perhaps oddest of all CIVILIZATION, something that Nerd Poker has had sparse amounts of in the past. Will the citizens all be named after extras in Aquaman? MAYBE.

Despite not knowing how to speak the language on all the subterranean signs, the party must make some important travel choices as they continue to head west. Luckily they do have many tools at their disposal, like premonitions from a storm god. Also, and this is just a rumor, but it seems that Ken might be a bird.

The party continues their bloody battle with the creatures at the icy bend in the path. They seem to be reaching the end of the dwarven city, but even then it is a long road ahead. And sooner or later they're bound to meet another underground traveler... right?

Deep in the abandoned dwarven city of Brufvt, our heroes are forced into an icy confrontation. The party gets to know each other better through sourness, battlecries, and madness-inducing flame blades. And don't worry, we haven't forgotten to make Engineer Sam do his recap.

Dargthur, the latest goth character creation by Brian Posehn, has helped the party discover a tunnel that they hope will take them to the civilization of the western port city of Boazor. But entering the tunnel isn't as easy as cracking open a dungeoneering kit. There are prices to pay and NPCs to be insulted by.

After having their lives thrown into stark relief by a terrible event, our adventurers learn to trust each other as they attempt to free themselves from their temporary prison. The more they escape, the more they learn about the world around them, which means... you guessed it... map time. The Cloddenheim continent's map is chock full of a thousand secrets. Thank you to Shaun Bryant, who went above and beyond illustrating a post-comet world ripe for many, many player notes.

A group of heroes on the continent of Cloddenheim have been invited to a gathering by an eccentric scientist. A carriage awaits.

Time to murder a cosmic horror, as the campaign draws to a close. And stay tuned because there will be no downtime until the next one, we'll see you next week! We will indeed to a live video Q&A, keep your eyes on our Patreon page for details. Thank you to all the artists, voice cameos, and all of you for listening. It's a delight to play D&D and have you as our audience.

After taking the holidays to recuperate, we are back with a full cast! Now if only they could all hold onto to their hit points in this epic boss fight. Our heroes continue to hack away at the giant mass of worms that was once the friendly NPC known as Luovyn. Will they put an end to this cosmic interloper before Typha can complete her transformation? That sure seems like it would be ideal!

In the rainy streets of Tenchyll, our heroes decide what to do with the cosmic being they've brought back to Earth. Sadly no Chris Tallman, plus Sarah is ill and Brian perhaps even more ill. We start with a Hex Chest giveaway! And we end with Brian going to bed. Happy holidays, everyone!

Our heroes are nearly there. The cosmic being known as Jnrei D'Nah is very close.

It's been a long and difficult path through the prison with lots of death in their wake, but our heroes seem to have stumbled across a lonely prison employee who has unique insight into the situation. The true question: will Bodhi become so enraged that he kills all the NPCs.

It's been a long and desperate hike through the prison graveyard, and the army of ghosts is still barrelling down on our heroes. It's going to take desperate measures to change the tide of battle in their favor. Dangerous magic? A dead god? Perhaps a little of both.

The trek northeast through the monster prison continues, as our crew tries to keep a low profile in the eerily quiet graveyard of Seluna Prison. They stand at the the precipice of some kind of death theater for Baphomet, which is at the very least a nice location to put on a postcard. If they tarry, perhaps a show will get put on in that theater! You're about to find out! Also, with regret we must note that Sarah had to miss this and the next episode due to illness, but she's back swinging in the present, and will appear on our November bonus episodes!

The heroes continue their confrontation with Lord Chasma who, let's face it, might be kind of invincible. Luckily the evil Kenku Gilfry might have decided to help the crew out, and they might be one step closer to the building holding Jnrei D'Nah. Hopefully everyone won't get smeared across a steel dome first.

Our heroes have gotten themselves in a bit of a moon-pickle. Pinned against a steel dome, our heroes have no idea how to proceed. But barreling down on them is a floating face that appears to be some kind of fallen god. There's a little crow-man named Torturemaster Gilfry running around screaming, but otherwise things are looking awfully bleak. Perhaps salvation lies somewhere nearby, perhaps far away.

The crew is continuing to hack their way North-East (or whatever up and to the right is on the moon) to break out the cosmic being known as Jnrei D'Nah and stop the moon from crashing into the planet below. But they're starting to realize just how bad an operation this whole moon prison idea was, and how a moon prison riot means there are cosmic beings everywhere. Good luck sleeping after listening to all of this one!

Our heroes take a quick breather in the lobby of the "God Slayer" building of the old moon prison. And why not take a breather, they've earned it! Unfortunately, their attempts to exit the building may be slowed by the former tenants of the basement, who aren't huge fans of their confinement.

Security was tenuous in the prison of horrors, but after their little nap in the archmage's spare room things have taken a turn for the worst. The goal is now to just get to another building before the group is overwhelmed and the timer on total annihilation ticks all the way down. Also, some real-world sips of moonshine are taken in honor of the moon mayhem.

Finally, someone at this crazy moon prison is willing to dish some moon prison gossip! All our heroes had to do was get real cozy with a mysterious cosmic being! There's monsters everywhere biting guards in half! Everything is going great!

Our adventure has taken us through another dimension (another dimension, another dimension) and through a gross fungal thread leading into the sky. So far things on the other end of that thread have been eerily similar to a regular old dungeon. But it's about time Bodhi, Twee, Tom Netty, Esmerelda, Typha, and their wee lil' hostage went for a walk outside.

Okay, did everyone take bets on whether this campaign would end up in a monster prison on the moon? Well get your wallets out because somewhere out there we have a winner. Our heroes have managed to overtake a small handful of guards, and now it's time to start planning a prison break for their cosmic pen pal Jnrei D'Nah. Unfortunately there appears to be a monster riot in the monster prison. Whoops.