Nerd Poker

You'd have thought the Castaway Cuties might wanna level up a little more before taking on another Dragon Turtle, but hey in their defense they WERE trying to sneak by. Hopefully their new orc tour guide won't get smushed in the process of them running away! Oh and yes this is one of the sillier openings of an episodes in a while. We start playing Dungeons and Whatever eventually, promise.

The Castaway Cuties approach Megalake Pangadon, which looms on the horizon. Unfortunately a gigantic depressed dragon turtle lies in the way. Should be easy to not irritate one of those, yeah? Yeah. No problem. Easy peasy.

The Castaway Cuties continue their team up with the mysterious sailors known as the "Ice Five" as they sail east and hope to find a lich-smiting hammer for Toody. Hopefully there won't be any sea monsters! Dan would NEVER, right??

This episode we talk to Sam's dog Ramen about how he is such a good boy for the full run time. Well kinda, there's also a lot of D&D. The Castaway Cuties also do some classic shopping Nerd Poker style, a familiar face returns, and Sam is very high.

With their latest nightmare slightly behind them (or at least, in a gross pile nearby) the Castaway Cuties now have a mysterious lava tube and a hellish wailing dimension with no gravity to contend with. Luckily they're more resolute than ever, and there's a weird list they nabbed from an evil tortle. Will all pieces come together? Come listen to us try!

Things are getting rough for the Castaway Cuties during their battle with the Pandemonium demon, as one ally after another falls. One thing is for certain, if anyone is haunted by the ghost of an adorable bunny it will suck. Hopefully he'll be revived in the name of Easter.

Our intrepid Cuties continue their combat with the vicious Pandemonium beast, seeking answers as to why all these monks are getting killed. Hopefully Danny won't feel too bad about what happens to Nathan as Chris Tallman portrays sorrow in the saddest of voices.

The Castaway Cuties are headed to another dimension (another dimension, another dimension) to help out the Davenglaven monk situation, and it looks like things are gonna get real messy. We can only hope that the otherworldly howling won't upset Nathan's delicate bunny ears too much (or make him act demonic again like he did a few episodes back).

With a new possibly wealthy patron in tow (who might just be a demon creature) the Castaway Cuties must decide how to follow up their exploits over at the giant trans-dimensional duck junk thing. Their destiny awaits, and also, probably a big scary battle!

Toody went for a little swim in the dark cavernous waters beneath the Leviathan's Spiral, only to get an innocent little tug on the leg of his armor. Probably something super cheery and not evil or slimy at all! RIGHT?

Sure, the Castaway Cuties just mashed a villain, but do you think they'll be satisfied with his horde of loot? Oh, no, not in the slightest! Every square inch of the den of this reptilian ne'er-do-well is about to get looted by none other than this crew of kind goofs.

The Castaway Cuties continue to clear the cavern, only they are now faced with a vertical shaft that has them thinking back to several seasons of their characters falling down and occasionally being snapped in half. Time to consider their descent very, very, (or just kinda) carefully!

Who doesn't like a nice, thick, shaft? The Castaway Cuties are about to explore more of the Leviathan's Spiral, a gigantic exoskeletal thing chock full of them, so you can only imagine that we're gonna be talkin' about shaft(s).

Surely combating a 30-foot-tall shadow will have zero consequences, and soon the Castaway Cuties will be back home in Blingbottom polishing their suit of armor with a demon inside it. Hopefully the fight will wind down right... about... soon...

The Castaway Cuties try to power through their most difficult fight yet, as fingers of doom start pointing and hit points start dropping. Hopefully those helpful NPCs they saved from the mutant gorillas will come in handy, right guys? Guys?

The crew is doing their best to get inside the twirly-yet-still-somehow-phallic Leviathan's Spiral and sadly one of their NPC guides is in peril. Hopefully they can rescue him and get inside the... shaft of the spiral, where they can then find some kind of respite. A very non-creepy respite that the dungeon master won't make gross at all.

It's time to track down the Filament of Dongle and see why they went missing inside the Leviathan's Spiral. What's that? A map that is almost definitely phallic? You know it.

After making their mark on the rough and tumble town of Blingbottom, our heroes head north, seeking the order of monks that knows how to locate the legendary hammer of Bahamut. Hopefully they won't light their own transportation on fire out of vague suspicion.

Our heroes (whose group name is currently unofficial but we all know Castaway Cuties is still the frontrunner) explore the cellar of the manor, and hope that they can claim its treasure as their own (or at least sell it at Blingbottom prices). Hopefully it will be a simple trip to an evil cabal's darkened basement and there won't be any funny stuff!

The crew battles the sleepy guest of the manor that they awoke unceremoniously from its slumber, with the hopes of making the quaint trayzure room all their own. Cheers from the whole Nerd Poker crew on making it through 2020 with us, we criterally couldn't have done it without you!

Hey listeners, we wanted to say thank you for a crazy year of support and offer you this two-part bonus adventure with Felicia Day as a special gift to you! Recorded in late 2019 around Christmas time at Brian's house with plenty of murder and mayhem, we hope it bring some cheer to you. It was originally recorded and released in 2 parts, but Engineer Sam fused them together with audio magic. Stay safe, and happy holidays!

You didn't expect our heroes to not thoroughly check THAT ONE CONTAINER in the TRAYZURE ROOM, did you? Well here they go, giving the awkward trayzure situation the proper Nerd Poker collection treatment! Also apologies for the audio being slightly garbled in parts, we had a computer die and get an emergency replacement mere moments before our session and didn't realize a setting was off until later.

The Kind Crew (or whatever they name might be) really put their powers of earnestness to the test as they tidy up the final corners of the hag's mansion. And what better moment for the creepiest of dungeon masters to unveil the creepiest of rooms?

Our intrepid crew is getting a little sick of dealing with this huge invisible archfey who doesn't know anything. And you know what that means: they will probably blow him up so they can go about plundering the rest of this haunted mansion!

Our kind crew has a relatively creepy manor they'd like to shake the loot out of, but will their creepy dungeon master put an unfairly massive monster in their path before they can roll all their investigation checks?

Our crew must confront the dog-related mystery they've gotten themselves into, as well as the wealthy old lady sobbing on Danny's monk-robed shoulder. No way things will get violent, knowing how nice everyone is. Right?

Our super-friendly band of heroes continue their quest to make a good impression on the gritty, coastal town of Blingbottom by cruising for side missions, and they may just make a name for themselves.

The crew feels out the local culture of Blingbottom (which turns out to be a lot of misfortune and unsavory card games) as well as a name for themselves. And if you were hoping someone in the party would try to have a Batman-esque side adventure, you're in luck!

Our heroes deal with the final obstacle between them and the beach of Davenglaven, and the unseemly field of bones at the cave's exit. Will the party have another charm-off competition? It's virtually guaranteed!

Our heroes have nearly reached the beaches of Davenglaven, but first there's treasure to unpack, and a mysterious impasse to uncork. Hopefully that total-party-kill you almost thought was going to happen in the first episode of the season isn't going to happen NOW.

The new crew is making their way to the end of this narrow, winding bottleneck, but there's a very interesting side passage beckoning them to explore. Surely there's no harm in testing some new spells out on some blind corners, right?

Our new Season 4 heroes have stumbled upon two firenewts engaged in some sort of lunchtime ritual, cooking a hapless creature over a small lava barbecue. They could sneak on by, but it wouldn't be Nerd Poker if everyone didn't dogpile into a small room and start swinging weapons.

Our new crew has a bottleneck ahead of them, and it's infested with deadly firenewts. Hopefully their morally suspect guide will lead them down the best path without too many surprises, and maybe they'll get a cool finishing move or two on these creepy, glowing jerks.

Our band of companions begins to consider their path to the mainland of Davenglaven, and it looks like they'll have to consider the trustworthiness of a snake-headed creep named Verge. Will they float or will they spelunk? Those are the questions any sea monster survivor must ponder.

After a confrontation with a rude guard leads our new crew to an unfortunate boat situation with some rather unsavory roars happening just off deck. Will this be the fastest Total Party Kill in Nerd Poker history?

Welcome to a brand new season and brand new story! It's time for our cast to set the stage with a brand new Level 3 crew, one that's getting the hell out of Cloddenheim fast.

New heroes will soon have to cope with the world events of Season 3, but first, let's see what happened to the Ice Five after Episode 85...

The time has come for the Ice Five to make their play. Will they trust the elves that showed up at the doorstep of the altar? Will one of the Ice Five themselves attempt to ascend to the mantle of the Tenebrous One? Will everything get set on fire? Better listen soon before you read about what happens on the internet somewhere!

The Ice Five are have alerted Halcyne's father that they are at an incredibly powerful intersection of mortality and immortality, and the way out just went "pop." Hopefully what about to arrive is friendly! If not, they can probably just set them on fire.

The Ice Five have finally made it to the Altar of the Tenebrous One, hoping that a plan would somehow come to mind once they checked everything out real good. Perhaps the squawking little kobold will provide a clue? Perhaps Terry will wander in and become the Tenebrous One? Only time will tell.

There's a very small space between a swarming cloud and the sheer mountain-face, but the Ice Five are determined to not let that get in the way of their plan to get to the altar of the Tenebrous One. Even if their plan kind of stops at getting there. All they have to do is climb really high and hope nothing Amarth Amon happens...

A new day is dawning, and the Ice Five have the final ascent up Pandemonium's Fang before them. They've stared at it all campaign on the map, but they imaginations may not have prepared them for what a jerk their Dungeon Master might be when it comes to scaling mountains. Hopefully the party and their respective prides will all survive.

The Ice Five are fresh off of slaying a mega-spider feybeast and are heading up the foothills of Pandemonium's Fang, but first they have to contend with one of Dan's trademark super creepy NPCs. Will they kill it, or just hate it?

The Ice Five have escaped to The Feywild, but oh yeah, they've never been here before and everything is a giant creepy glowing monster. Surely this will work out as some kind of harmless shortcut though, right???

The Ice Five have always been fans of entering mysterious caves, and as cautious as they were, they're still a little stuck. Luckily one amongst them was built with some extra options back at the factory.

With the dragon fight ramping up, it remains to be Halcyne (cyne what we did there?) whether her gambit with the necklace will pay off. Meanwhile the Ice Five have another task ahead of them- how do they eventually escape this Barrowsteppes Dragon chokepoint/checkpoint in the middle of the road leading to the mountains, and Pandemonium's Fang?

The effects of Halcyne's unfortunate dexterity situation are beginning to sink in, and the Ice Five must contend with another vicious (and mutated) dragon from their past.

The Ice Five head into the steppes surrounding Pandemonium's Fang in the hopes of destroying the altar of the Tenebrous One. But it wouldn't be Cloddenheim if there was a clear path between them and the big event, would it? As long as they are careful, and they always are, how could things go wrong?

The Ice Five must decide whether to trust the Violet Fang, trap her outright, set her on fire, or just kinda awkwardly part ways. See if you can guess which they choose!

The Ice Five exit their awkward Violet Fang conversation only to encounter so many passive aggressive NPC's that they long for a monster to kill. Hopefully they'll find some hot loot along the way, as well as a hot lead on the altar of the Tenebrous One.