Nerd Poker

The Castaway Cuties attempt to put a particularly blood y battle behind them, and Danny goes on a special mission to find a way into the now-evil city of Flaysacola.

Yipes, this cave battle is getting very ugly for the Castaway Cuties. Hopefully amongst the bodies there will be a few good saving throws. And death saving throws.

The Castaway Cuties start to realize just how deep they might be in over their heads, as cave creatures begin to swarm them and party members start getting chewed on. How hard was that cliff to climb again?

Bears made of lava sure sound fun on paper, but the Castaway Cuties have to contend with getting one to not melt everyone. The cave they're in should have been a better option than climbing that cliff, so at least there's that!

It's time to sneak into Flaysacola, as that town is now apparently run by undead elves and that's probably going to be a problem. The Castaway Cuties must now decide whether to climb a cliff, go for a swim, or enter a mysterious cave. Surely climbing the cliff wouldn't take a year, like climing that boat did last season.

If it isn't that anti-beastfolk guard who got chummed for a dragon turtle in S4E1? Hmm welp in this timeline things are SURE to go less horribly this time... right?

Well well well, if things haven't come full circle a bit. The Cuties are now trying to flag a ship to come pick them up. Oh yeah, and the time space continuum is in a mysteriously askew place. Nothing a few weird plans can't fix!

Now that the Castaway Cuties have their hands on the demon lord Pa(n)zuzu, all they have to do is kill it and/or smash the phylactery around his neck, and the world will be a safer place. One thing, though- reality has been completely warped and nobody on the continent may remember who they are. Probably nbd, right?

Welp, we went back in time to get the phylactery from the demon lord, and look at this fine mess we got ourselves into. Anyone got a smoke?

Some serious portal shenanigans are afoot. Will the Castaway Cuties manage to not screw up the multiverse? We think you know the answer.

In this very sexy episode, the Castaway Cuties head towards the mayor of Flaysacola's keep to see if he's there, a clone, a demon, or you know, whatever the crew has to fight now. Maybe a necromancer that turns into a giant baby?

Nathan and fellow rabbitfolk Cospia finally reunite with the rest of the Castaway Cuties and begin to plot how to use their new levels, as well as how to deal with what appears to be a huge archdemon about to appear in Davenglaven. No big deal.

We know you've missed Chris Tallman as much, so we thought we'd catch Nathan up with a solo adventure, as well as give Chris room to take as long as he wanted with a gaming session while he heals up. Full cast next episode!

Partially seeking revenge for the death of their butler Octavio, partly killing an NPC full of information just because he looked at them weird, the Castaway Cuties are embroiled in a brutal battle with a vampire lord and his wooden mech bodyguard. If only they had rested once in the last 15ish episodes before initiating combat!

Time to punch... Woody? A weird golem thing is protecting the vampire. Some fans might think these two sure sound familiar!

After successfully scouting the secret lair of the cabal, the Cuties decide to face their antagonist head-on in a crowded luxury inn's lobby. And you know this crew loves to avoid collateral damage! Let's have a listen shall we?

Vampire schemes are headed to Flaysacola and the crew are trying to figure out how to get there ahead of them, or stop them before they can get there. In the meantime they're leaving Kurt of the Adventurer's Guild in charge of the mansion, which is probably not gonna be weird at all!

Those damn vamps! Always messing with a party's party. The cabal is pulling some really lame stuff, and boy oh boy killing them will be nice.

Trigger warning: some real gross stuff continues with Danny's throat parasite. On the bright side, with Blaine's help Brian finds quite a novel and bizarre solution! We hope you enjoy the end of that particularly gross business, and the shocking cliffhanger as well!

There's some kind of crazy conspiracy going on, and we're just the crew to be confused by it! Clues abound as the Castaway Cuties go through the basement of the vampires creepy jungle home... will they manage to piece this nonsense kinda sorta together?

The cornered vampire sure does seem to have a chip on his mysteriously-caped-shoulder. Well the Castaway Cuties are infamous interrogators, so this will probably go without any punches thrown!

The Castaway Cuties finally crash, and things get creepy real fast. I mean it's a manor that was once a hag's meeting place for her cabal of evil, just south of a being named Kronk the Walking Economy, you'd think they could just cuddle under their duvet and have cozy dreams.

The Castaway Cuties are re-exploring their little house and examining their gear, and perhaps the best part is Sam playing the part of loremaster for once. Thanks Sam!

As the Castaway Cuties are stalked through the final stretch to Blingbottom, they hope Princess Cospia lets them chop her arm off before she becomes completely stone. Wait, that's not quite how they put it. But you know... pretty close!

The Castaway Cuties could sure use a break- and they try to take one! Hopefully nothing in this horrific jungle of death and destruction will try to take advantage of this moment.

Things are heating up, thanks to an out of control jungle fire chasing the Castaway Cuties as they travel southwest to Davenglaven. And oh yeah, that whole abyssal curse thing!

The curses worsen as the Castaway Cuties struggle to shakes off the after effects of their fight with the demon. Speaking of which, weird how something smells like smoke!

After handling the demon confrontation, it's time to see if our heroes sent the right person-creature across the river to the south. Hopefully yes, since she was carrying the thing they slayed that whole army for!

What's a little battle between our heroes and an entire fish army armed with a demon and war machines? Seems like this is gonna go great!

We're heavy into an ugly battle with an ugly foe, a water demon sent by an angry Gillaxian army. Hopefully not TOO many of the Castaway Cuties will get boiled alive or skewered by a war spear.

Up against a major waterway, the Castaway Cuties are forced to reckon with an entire army of Gillaxian fish bastards, more heavily armored and evil than any encounter with them yet. And since there's a few hundred of them a mile or so away, hopefully this won't take very long...

Guess what— the Castaway Cuties are now level 6! But will their new level help them escape the Gillaxian army? Maybe? It's a whole army and all, but hey it's fun to plan how to get a giant hammer across a river!

Now that everyone is above water and deciding what to do about the extra-wrinkly Gillaxian tied up in a hole, it's time to decide how to deal with Toody's extremely heavy, extremely hard to touch hammer. But first, some lamentations from the princess!

The Castaway Cuties hope to dispatch the strange sea hag whose lair they stumbled into, and who is now fighting them for the hammer. Hopefully they can walk out of this lake soon, or at least come up with an elaborate balloon hat scheme!

Oh great, some weird glowing eyes next to the god-hammer. Probably cool if the crew ignores it right? NOPE. The monster that stalked them for a few episodes survived the flood, and now it wants to play Tool Time with Toody.

Our Castaway Cuties have worked out a solution to the puzzle of the underwater dead-end tower, so surely the dungeon master has some very fair physics in mind. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Everything's fine. This is fine.

Um... oh. The Castaway Cuties just realized they've hit the top of a tower with no real exits. At the bottom of a megalake. While lugging a 250 pound magic hammer. Luckily they can breathe underwater for a while, so maybe they can walk out... Except for that whole top of a tower thing. Hopefully they're not pausing to think inside the den of a weird swamp monster. Wait, what's that? Damn...

Your darling Castaway Cuties have gotten themselves into quite a sticky wicket, dragging a 250 pound hammer across an evil castle at the bottom of an ocean-sized lake. So hey, why not start exploring some completely unknown areas and hope they don't get trapped? Seems safe!

The Castaway Cuties are on their way to retrieving the divine hammer! But oh yeah... it's at the bottom of a massive lake and it's very heavy. And maybe guarded by water monsters. Leave it to the Nerd Poker crew to make some surprising choices on how to turn these problems into problemade.

After a fierce battle with a notable casualty, followed by a uniquely Nerd Poker instruction to an NPC that they should go complete an entire dungeon all by themselves, the Castaway Cuties are left with one big question: what the hell are they supposed to do with this evil fish shaman? And will they kill him, or ACCIDENTALLY kill him as they preserve him?

The Castaway Cuties are going under the lake to get a magic hammer. Seems simple. No issues there. Probably a shallow lake with no monsters. Easy peasy.

The Castaway Cuties bring their scrappy lake-beach battle to a conclusion as they hope to dive beneath the waves and recover an ancient hammer. Will an NPC get squished? Will the crew make a decision that perplexes even themselves only a few minutes later? Why this is Nerd Poker, of course.

Negotiations for the transformation of the fishy princess have reached a nadir and the Castaway Cuties may be about to throw down with some ugly pirahna-faced gillaxians. Hopefully we can go properly off the rails for a moment before the tense combat begins!

It's time to head to Megalake Pangadon, location of the underwater evil fishperson city that the Princess originally hails from, and where a certain Bahamut hammer is kept under lock and key. Hopefully she won't hear that she's travelling with an orc who loves to kill evil fishpeople!

You'd have thought the Castaway Cuties might wanna level up a little more before taking on another Dragon Turtle, but hey in their defense they WERE trying to sneak by. Hopefully their new orc tour guide won't get smushed in the process of them running away! Oh and yes this is one of the sillier openings of an episodes in a while. We start playing Dungeons and Whatever eventually, promise.

The Castaway Cuties approach Megalake Pangadon, which looms on the horizon. Unfortunately a gigantic depressed dragon turtle lies in the way. Should be easy to not irritate one of those, yeah? Yeah. No problem. Easy peasy.

The Castaway Cuties continue their team up with the mysterious sailors known as the "Ice Five" as they sail east and hope to find a lich-smiting hammer for Toody. Hopefully there won't be any sea monsters! Dan would NEVER, right??

This episode we talk to Sam's dog Ramen about how he is such a good boy for the full run time. Well kinda, there's also a lot of D&D. The Castaway Cuties also do some classic shopping Nerd Poker style, a familiar face returns, and Sam is very high.

With their latest nightmare slightly behind them (or at least, in a gross pile nearby) the Castaway Cuties now have a mysterious lava tube and a hellish wailing dimension with no gravity to contend with. Luckily they're more resolute than ever, and there's a weird list they nabbed from an evil tortle. Will all pieces come together? Come listen to us try!

Things are getting rough for the Castaway Cuties during their battle with the Pandemonium demon, as one ally after another falls. One thing is for certain, if anyone is haunted by the ghost of an adorable bunny it will suck. Hopefully he'll be revived in the name of Easter.