Make Your Damn Bed

The truth is brutal, but honesty doesn’t have to be. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Showing up can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people, and you will have agency over how you choose to show up - but to me, it’s important to pay attention to your people as individuals, and if you want to create a long lasting relationship that can withstand the test of time, you have to be willing to show up for them when you can. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Getting comfortable growing means getting comfortable being wrong. Your thoughts may feel like the truth, but they're not always rooted in reality. Often, in fact, they aren't. Practice questioning your own thoughts, without getting defensive. Take some time and space for your own wellbeing today. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Thanksgiving in the US and instead of dreading the holiday altogether, I now look forward to the idea of having a specific day dedicated to gratitude and connection with family or friends over various starches and pie WHILE simultaneously having passionate conversations about important ideals. Donate to Native American Rights Fund: https://secure.narf.org/page/64457/donate/1 DECODED: A thanksgiving sketch - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFfREh7G3ck Podcast: We Are Still Here- A Message of Unity for Thanksgiving https://rights.culturalsurvival.org/we-are-still-here-message-unity-thanksgiving A Native American view on Thanksgiving - https://www.huffpost.com/entry/with-thanksgiving-a-native-american-view_b_5a0cca9ee4b023a796fed3b4 Toasted Sister's Podcast episode on Thanksgiving: https://toastedsisterpodcast.com/2020/11/23/e70-the-thanksgiving-episode/ Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When people misplace their anger onto you - it's not your responsibility to rectify it. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

People will typically match your energy. Your energy reflects your perceptions. This is why, if you work improve your perception, the reactions of others and your entire reality will follow.  Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The things that resonate for you reflect your past, your experiences, your interpretations, and even more so, your attitude about all of that shit. This is why some people can go through hell and back and have the best mindset and focus on gratitude and love and other people can be insanely privileged and still miserable about everything. Neither one is wrong. Both experiences and feelings are valid. But again, I can tell you which way sounds preferable. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When we put our attention and our full conscious minds behind the things we do, we give them more power than when we simply allow them to happen to us. It truly sounds like magic because it kind of is. The fact is, our visualizations are just as powerful as our physical experiences. Our imaginations can literally create the same neural pathways in our brain, which can impact our physical bodies and surroundings as a result. This is why the power of positive thinking is so crucial. We truly do bring energy to everything we do, whether we know it or not, so the more conscious and intentional we can be with that energy, the better our reality will become as a result. Attitude really does shape everything, why not shape it the way you want?Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Practice never goes bad. It’s not something that expires when you don’t use it. You can build on that information later. Hone the skill over time when it feels right for you - but recognize that consistent hard work shows results the fastest. 20 minutes of mindful practice will outweigh 2 hours of bullshit practice any day. So be mindful - be all in - and commit what you can when you can where you can. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

 Learning to love yourself means showing up day after day with compassion, curiosity, and reverence for the person you are in this very moment. It means being kind and patient with yourself as you learn this process but it also means you may benefit from taking some notes.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Decluttering can feel very empowering and lighten some of the energetic ties you naturally create when residing in a space. It’s hard to feel free when you’re bogged down with shit around you, so let yourself feel a bit of freedom that comes with the occasional deep clean and purge. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you do this intentional releasing, I want you to focus on getting the shit out. When you change the oil in your car, you have to drain out the old shit for it to run properly in the future and that draining part is the most time consuming and expensive part of the process. Refilling the shit with the good stuff is very fast and fairly simple. The wait and the disposal of the old, heavy shit is where the labor comes in. But if you have the proper tools and expectations, it’s easier to do so. So let yourself lean in to the draining portion, even though it kinda sucks and recognize that you are going to feel better afterwards. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Water is insanely cleansing, effective, and a powerful energy resource and it’s not to be underestimated in our own personal healing and wellbeing. There is a reason health professionals and therapists alike are always advocating for your hydration. Drink your damn water, wash your damn face, and remember that you’re a powerful mother fucker made of powerful stuff! Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aggression is a human emotion. You are allowed to feel aggressive. Anger is a human emotion. You are allowed to feel angry. Sadness, frustration, embarrassment, fear are all human emotions. You are allowed to feel all of them. The problem is, when we blindly react to those feelings out of fear they will last forever, or instinct, or whatever. I have said many times before that we are are responsible for the way we react to things - but I think it takes a very emotionally conscious and intelligent person to be able to feel these more quote unquote “ugly” feelings in a way that we don’t feel the need to outwardly react to. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If we create positive associations with movement - we will struggle less with guilt and that feeling of obligation. Build positive mindsets around movemetn. It’s not a punishment, it’s a form of self care, nourishment, and grounding. It’s a free way to connect with yourself in a way that can genuinely improve your longevity and day to day mental and physical health. It doesn’t have to be intense, you don’t always have to go so hard, as long as you’re doing something to show your body you care for it as much as it cares for you, don’t worry about the rest. Start small, don’t pressure yourself if you don’t want to, and remember that a little is better than nothing - as long as it feels good to you. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The only thing you can plan for is your behaviors, choices, and reactions. Stop writing the story for everyone's reactions to your choices and just lean in with honesty and kindness. Worrying won't change the outcome. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I found myself focusing on the negative opinions of others. Opinions I had no control over. So when I caught myself and refocused on the positive comments of the supportive people that really mattered, that's when I was able to escape the negative thought patterns that took my ass in. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I generally say steer clear of obsessing over problems and people. The only thing you should obsess over is your own wellbeing. Feel free to get caught up in a new hobby or joy, but when day in and day out your thinking is always coming back to the things that aren’t within your control - like ‘why didn’t she text me back?’ Or ‘what if I never make as much money as them’ you’ll miss out on a lot of time and energy that you could have been worrying about yourself or other things that are actually within your control and have the potential to solve the problems you’re hell bent on rehearsing in the first place. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When we build a barrier to protect us from feeling hard feelings, they become more challenging to approach in general. So, as a result, we end up completely avoiding things that could potentially trigger that fear and then before we know it, we miss out on an entire life because we didn’t make room for discomfort. Before we realize what we have done - instead of avoiding the fear, we have completely centered that fear as the main character in our story. We have made every choice in our life around avoiding the fear instead of simply facing it. We made it the star of the show instead of just another commercial break. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Think about when you do get distracted - throughout the day - even if it’s good thoughts or positive distractions, it can easily interrupt our flow. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Genuinely though - there are perks to many lifestyles you would hate to have - and cons to many lifestyles you would love to have. Focus less on what you’re missing out on - and focus in on what you actually have. And if there is something you’re genuinely feeling like you’re missing out on - go after that thing! And if it’s meant to be - it’ll happen for you. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Change your language to improve your mindset. YOU are not fat. You have fat. YOU are not depressed. You have depression. YOU are not insecure. You feel insecure. You are far more than the identities you have created for yourself. And you need to change your language to reflect that. Shift your mindset through shifting your language. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We don’t outgrow our desire for feeling seen and validated. We simply get less of that external validation because we have seemingly learned our lessons already - but that doesn’t mean we don’t all have growth to be made and behaviors to be improved upon. So why do we suddenly think when we’re a certain age - we no longer respond to positive cues?Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Encouragement, like motivation, is something that needs refreshing daily. It’s not to be dismissed as something that only kids and sports teams benefit from. We all do better with positive reinforcement, I promise. Start offering it to yourself and see how quickly things shift. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Human connection is so important - this is why we like to meet up with friends for drinks or family for dinners - so don’t skimp out on connecting with yourself, too. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

 A lot of us live in an all or nothing mentality all of the time. We see things in black and white despite our conscious awareness of the fact that most of the world is gray. Each fresh breath is an opportunity to begin again. Every time you start to feel hopeless, remind yourself it’s only hopeless when you stop holding onto hope - then grab onto that hope and make it happen. Don’t guilt yourself when you fall off track, because getting off track is normal and healthy. But don’t avoid getting back on just because you needed a moment to yourself.  Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’re the giving type, it probably means you struggle with receiving. I encourage you to take a step back form your identity as the generous friend for a while and allow yourself to accept things as they present themselves. Be it compliments, help, or physical gifts - you are deserving and worthy of these things. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Be realistic with your expectations, be realistic when you set plans, be realistic when you do literally everything in order to save yourself a lifetime of drama in the future.  Getting real with yourself takes time and practice and trial and error. Don’t be afraid to try things a few times before admitting it’s not for you at this particular time in your life. And watch how much energy, time, and life frees up for you. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes, in the moment, we aren’t able see the bigger picture. We don’t understand why we’re met with resistance or bad luck or rejection - and years later, if we’re lucky, when we find out that it was actually a good thing all along, we will thank the people who rejected us because if not for that no, we may never have made it to where we are today. Sometimes we have to trust that the universe has our back just like we have the backs of our loved ones. Sometimes we have to trust that even though we don’t understand why the fuck this shit is happening to us - it’s in our best interest in the long run. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Take the leash off for a while. Play. Make messes. Get loud and don’t be afraid to look silly or stupid while doing so.  Follow the fun without fear. You are wiser and more in control now, so you can safely do so in a way that feels good. Don’t forget to throw caution to the wind every once in a while in search of your inner desire to feel joy in it’s rawest form. Channel the inner child that wasn’t yet afraid of everything before they were taught to be terrified of joy itself. That kid wants to come out and play without fear of being reprimanded - and only you can remind them it’s safe to do so. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you embody your own best parent, you become someone who knows what is best for you, wants what is best for you, does what is best for you, and helps you prepare for what is best for you. We all need that in our lives, and even the luckiest of us can’t rely on our parents for everything forever. We all have to get comfortable making the decisions for ourselves that best serves us in our best interest rather than what feels the best now - and that is what reparenting should do. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When I say float downstream, this is not a mindless or passive task. This is simply being mindful with the way your life is moving, making small choices to make it easier, and not resisting the path but rerouting it when you need to. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you don’t choose to uproot your own toxicity once in a while you will get sick. You will keep that toxicity inside which means it will eat you alive. Even if you don’t know it’s growing. Because if you ignore how bad your behavior can make you feel. And make others feel. You will never want to fix that behavior and it will continue to make you and others feel bad. Be willing to uproot your toxicity so you can become less toxic. Don’t be afraid of the fact that you have made mistakes that you have regrets and that you have done incorrectly by others in the past but make sure you are rectifying that shit in the future by addressing that shit now. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’ve all made snap judgments and it takes a long time to unlearn a lifetime of habit - especially one as natural as this - but trust me when I say, your preconceived notions about people are typically incorrect, and it may be a good idea to avoid making those judgments altogether. We all cast judgements without knowing any better, but it’s our responsibility to learn so we can know better, and when we know better we do better. When we do better, the world gets better. When the world gets better, everyone wins. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Genuine connection only comes from our ability to fully connect with our own desires and needs. We do this by getting clear before trying to communicate with others and then getting clear on how we choose to communicate with others. I have said this many times before: The temporary discomfort of openly communicating will save years of discomfort in the future. So be brave, be vulnerable, and be honest. If everything falls apart because of it, that shit wasn’t stable to begin with. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You are a person, not a test subject. Life is a journey not some race to enlightenment. You are welcome to just be. Stop using intellectualism to avoid feeling your feelings. Stop overanalyzing to avoid your emotions. And have the grace to do the same for your loved ones. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My parents made a lot of rules that didn’t feel like support at the time, that I absolutely consider supportive now. Support from my bra is uncomfortable but essential in some situations. Support looks and feels differently at different times - and that can be the angle you take with the people you love too. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The amount of attention you’re receiving or not receiving is not a reflection of your character. Life is a dance. We are moving all over the place and going around and around but not actually going anywhere notable in distance, because the where we start and where we end is not the point of dancing. The point of dancing is in the art itself. Sometimes we will lead and sometimes we will follow, but the dance is meant to be enjoyed and nothing else. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you have an idea for what you would you like to achieve in the future, take steps towards that. But if you aren’t sure - try everything until you figure out what you don’t want, then go from there. Don’t let anyone rush you. You’ve got the rest of your life to figure it out. Until then, find something that best works for you right now, where you are today. Not where you’d like to be in five years. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Focus in on what your life means to you, allow that meaning to change with you over time, and never allow anyone else’s interpretation of that meaning affect you. It’s really not your business how they interpret it. Plus, your interpretation is probably going to change at some point anyway. So what difference does it make? You don’t need to understand the ins and outs to enjoy the ride. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I realize now, if you’re doing it right, life is just a series of outgrowing yourself. Those choices, behaviors, routines, friends, experiences, and priorities that you used to make time for, out of necessity or desire or fear or boredom, at some point, just don’t appeal to you anymore. And you should be so fucking happy for that. When you begin to outgrow yourself, whether consciously or not, you will naturally outgrow some of the people around you. There will be people who don’t understand why you’ve changed, or don’t want you to change, or want you to stay right where you are, or simply don’t relate to you after your change. This is a natural thing. It doesn’t mean you can’t still love or care or hold space for that person or that time in your life, it means you must hold space for the person you were and the person you’re becoming. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The world hardened me through experiences, and time and time again I would work to soften myself back up. Eventually, I established a ratio of softness and armor, of love and fear, of precaution and fearlessness. It’s not always foolproof. I am a mosaic of my past selves, and you are too. What does your mosaic look like?Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I am starting to believe they want us all to turn into robots. Last time I checked robots we’re free of cellulite, body hair, farts, and emotions. But robots also don’t get to experience. They don’t get to create. They don’t get to love, or to feel, or to feel peace in a body that they’ve been taught to hate. Being a human being is fucking beautiful. What we have been taught as imperfections - are quite literally the most natural things in the world. Even if you have the only human body that has experienced it, that makes it a human trait. You humanize your own qualities by simply being human. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

 A repeated thought becomes a belief. A belief becomes a feeling. Those feelings and beliefs create your reality.  The insecurities that we have about ourselves become a self fulfilling prophecy as they do end up working against us to validate your truth. When you notice people treating you in a way and you feel hesitant or want to justify their behavior or whatever it may be stopping yourself and saying actually what if they do care what if I am worthy of love what if what if in a positive way instead of allowing your negative subconscious beliefs to hurt you continuously. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s good to be aware of when we’re talking just to talk or if we’re talking out of a place of insecurity or if we’re talking because we really believe it will foster a sense of connection. None of those reasons are inherently bad but we also need to recognize that we really don’t have to work so hard. Sometimes a simple no thank you is plenty of explanation. Sometimes a deep dive into your why isn’t warranted, expected, or appreciated. You are allowed to be a mystery to people without having to worry about how they interpret that mystery. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Unfortunately, we can’t have everyone we love be with us all the time forever, but we can ensure their legacies live on through our preservation of their memories. Ask questions, study the people you love, and let yourself enjoy the time you do have, with them. I doubt you will regret knowing too much about someone you love, so don’t be afraid to ask. You never know what magic you may uncover! Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I really don’t think there is such thing as closure unless you’re actually ready to close the door yourself. And some doors may never close fully, and thats okay too. Just make sure you’re not reopening them for selfish reasons when you do. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Closure does not really exist, at least how we’ve been taught. It’s more of an internal process than an external one. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A lot of us are working very hard on our lives, on ourselves, and on our development. We don’t even realize how quickly we are growing and changing because from our perspective, it may seem slow and tedious. Growing pains are no joke and if you don’t allow yourself time to adjust to these changes, your body may insist upon it. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I encourage you to try to respect the fact that our bodies know what is best sometimes better than we do. Because I personally know that my inability to slow down by my own volition makes it difficult for me to respect my body when it is requesting a break, kindly. So on the days it feels like it is forcing me to stay in bed - instead of getting depressed and down on myself and having a pity party for not being able to function like everybody else - I listen.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.