Make Your Damn Bed

Yesterday - as a part of the tiny eco choice challenge - I skipped the take-out and cooked stuff I already had in the pantry, but when I do order from local spots - I choose some of them based on the reusability/recyclability of their to-go containers. Other notable points: Don't throw away what's already working - even if it's plastic. Estate sales, yard sales, thrift stores, and online consignment shops are great ways to buy new products. Fix it, instead of upgrading it, if you can! Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Morning sunshine! Collective action challenge for today: what TINY action can you do today to make a difference for the future of our planet?(tag me @MYDBPodcast with ideas if you can, cuz I love it) A listener asked for climate change strategies and my brain went WILD with the stuff I have done to "do my part" but let's be real. It's 100 companies responsible for 71% of the ding-dang global emissions - so we really need to keep that in perspective when we're "saving the world" by dehydrating ourselves on the roadtrip to save a damned bottle from a recycling bin... just me? cool. Either way, I guess what I am trying to say is if you want to save the planet - use the paper straw when you can but call the CEO of Exxon Mobil when you can't. Love you! Talk to you tomorrow. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Improv: Keeps you open. Keeps you listening and curious and present. It helps you stay in the moment and not planning ahead or dwelling on the past, but instead allowing it to guide your future actions. Helps you let go of your ego. When you realize how fun life is when you confidently allow yourself that are considered by society to be less attractive or cool, or even stupid looking - you show you could care less about societal standards and your ego which is the most confident you can possibly look in my opinion. Improv means we are focused not on our internal dialogue but the real connections and relationships we are building through our interactions in real time.Increases creativity, whimsy, exploration, fun, and connections. It’s a reminder that we can live a life full of magic without any limitations if we just open ourselves up to building worlds outside of ourselves once in a while. When was the last time you got weird and used your imagination with a group of grownup friends and goofed off together?The idea of “yes, and” reminds us there is always more to discover if we just open ourselves up to the possibility. Improv teaches us to get comfortable accepting offers, shifting gears, and allowing things to flow and unfold.Improv helps us learn when it’s appropriate for us to take the lead and when it’s time to step back and follow,  Improv gets us out of our heads, keeps us open, and allows us to find fun in the mundane. INCREASES: Creativity, imagination, collaboration, team work, perspective, public speaking skills, communication (nonverbal and verbal) makes you a better leader, a better follower, a better listener, and a more fearless person when it comes to approaching new things. Most importantly - improvisation reminds us there is a power in our taking action. We often think ourselves silly and never get around to actually making any progress. Improv is proof that taking unplanned action is often more effective than overplanning and overthinking ourselves to death. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can be ANYONE you want, any time you want, as long as you're making choices that align with who you want to be. Stop stressing about the rest. Trust that you'll discover your "why" along the way, by accepting who you are, where you are, now. Establishing your point of view is a lot easier when you know who you are. So figure out who the heck you are first, then trust that you will be able to align with that self and thrive in any circumstances that arise. Plus, knowing who you are doesn't mean you can't grow and adapt and change into something better in the future! Learn, stay open, and listen. Allow things to flow and accept where you are at now in order to adapt to where you want to be in the future. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Figure out WHO you are first, so you can make choices that align with your WHY. Not everything that gets thrown at you is going to be worthy of your time, energy, and thought. Release the need to address EVERYTHING all the time. You can't be everything to everyone, all at once. So focus on the important, and you can only get to know what's important by actually leaning into who you are and why you're here. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Know when to stay silent. Learn when the situation needs space and time to breathe. Building tension through pauses can really increase your confidence, improve the energy surrounding it, and allow you space to come up with even better and more rewarding responses. Some things don't even need a response. Know when to hold, and when to fold, and when to play. Timing is important. It changes EVERYTHING, even if every other condition was exactly the same, the timing can make or break a situation. Learn WHEN to make the move, so you can increase your odds of making the next best one. You got this! Embrace the down time. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Learning to trust yourself is the most important part in being able to ACCEPT the current REALITY of what is, now. Being a great human starts with accepting the reality as it as now, so you can react and respond in alliance with your foundational values to improve the situation, one step at a time. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trust yourself to make the next best choice. Flow, don't plan. Lean into the mistakes. You've done hard things many times before - and you'll do more again - so don't stress it. You're gonna do great, like you have so many times in the past. You're great at what you do, don't ever forget that. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There are no mistakes. As long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else, every mistake is an opportunity for growth, learning, change, or re-routing. Never be afraid to make a contribution, even if it feels like other people won't understand. Go in with clarity and connection and lean into the idea that the mistakes are where the magic live. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In day 6 of the @MYDBPodcast improv series, I discuss "yes, and" vs. consenting to the things that do not align with your personal values. Get comfortable saying no to things that are dangerous or problematic. You don't have to be a people pleaser to say "yes, and" once in awhile. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is day 5 in the improv series of the Make Your Damn Bed Podcast. Today we're discussing how to "yes, and" someone and still disagree proactively. Get the foundations built before you reform it. Build, then edit. Get curious. Play TOGETHER to build connections and understanding. Explore together to learn and expand. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In day 4 of the improv class series we discuss the concept of "yes, and", which is a principle that you will accept other people's suggestions, ideas, and contributions and expound upon them instead of shutting them down. It increases receptivity, decreases judgement, improves expansion, and increases connection. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Taking a brief "commercial" break to tell you about an app I have discovered (non-sponsored, just truly couldn't wait to share this) that is aiming to help you get cheaper grub and help restaurants eliminate food waste. Check out TooGoodToGo.com and smile.amazon.com next time you're online shoppin' and would like to make a little bit of a positive impact with your purchase. Back tomorrow with more improvisation advice! Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

improv is overwhelming, but don't sit on the sidelines. go with the flow and enjoy the journey. lean on the connection and your ability to make everyone around you look amazing. a commonly discussed foundational rule in improv is the principle of "yes and", and I want to clarify on the real meaning of that and how it can be expanded to include: "no, but" as well. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rules* of improv: There are no rules. (other than the basics like: avoiding intentional harm, etc.) No wrong answers. Mistakes are opportunities. Lean in. Flow vs. Plan Stay open. Open to new ideas, new directions, and new perspectives. It's a team effort. There are no winners or VIPs. Prioritize making EVERYONE else look good. Don't derail the scene by going for the oke. Have fun! It's a time to play, so play. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today I share the very basic structure of my improv classes. Boundary check - How does everyone feel about physicality? any limits we should know about? Warm ups - connect + get comfortable with those around you. Play - in the world you BUILD together on the foundations you've already built together. Reflect + follow up. Subscribe to the monthly newsletter: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comSubscribe for extended eps on patreon: patreon.com/mydbpodcastFree bonus content also available on: instagram.com/mydbpodcast youtube.com/juliemericatiktok.com/mydbpodcastSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today begins the first of the Improvised Improvisation series. Starring me improvising an introduction to my experience with improv in Chicago + how it's (quite literally) changed my life for the better. IMPROVISE: to compose, recite, play, or sing extemporaneously OR to make, invent, or arrange offhandto make or fabricate out of what is conveniently on hand.IMPROVISATIONAL THEATRE: live performances in which everything is created in the moment. scripts, characters, plots, stories, scenes, etc. are all made up on the spot. (finished and scheduled with 34 minutes to spare, if you were curious) SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE CONTENT:www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com - MONTHLY NEWSLETTER SIGN UP patreon.com/mydbpodcast - EXTENDED EPS + JOURNALSinstagram.com/mydbpodcast tiktok.com/mydbpodcastyoutube.com/juliemericaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is the final part of a three part series. Please listen to yesterday's episode before this one!Feel free to use genuine, earnest real life first hand stories to show and demonstrate your perspective. Just like you should have been attempting to really understand their perspective on that position - it’s your turn to share yours, so don’t be afraid to get real, vulnerable, and honest. This doesn’t mean you have to wreck them with a Shonda rhymes level soap opera diatribe. Be you. Keep it real. But go in with the intention of helping them understand why you truly do feel so differently about the topic. Some other general tips include: Try not to use the word but. It negates people and ideas, so to be more inclusive replace it with the word AND instead. Also, don’t feel like you ever apologize for disagreeing with someone. Unless you’ve made a mistake and actually do something wrong or hurt someone in real time. You don’t need to apologize for having and voicing an opinion - unless that opinion is inherently dangerous or negative to another human’s well being - in which case - your opinions can be wrong. For more exclusive hot hot bonus content: Sign up for the monthly newsletter here: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comInstagram: instagram.com/mydbpodcastTiktok: Tiktok.com/mydbpodcastPatreon: www.patreon.com/mydbpodcast Youtube: www.youtube.com/juliemericaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is the second part of a three part series. Please listen to yesterday's episode before this one! People are nuanced. They can be wrong and right at the same time. Find what’s right before delving into what’s wrong. Connect before you correct. A good way to diffuse and connect- especially if you’re starting to get a lil defensive is by finding a common ground. If you really are struggling to do this - call out your intention directly - I’d really love to refocus on some of the things we do agree on. Hearing people out doesn’t change your internal beliefs, so listen. Hear them out, connect on SOMETHING and have empathy towards the emotions that they are feeling in any moment. This is the best way to diffuse situations without standing beneath your own morals or sense of alignment. For more exclusive hot hot bonus content: Sign up for the monthly newsletter here: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comInstagram: instagram.com/mydbpodcastTiktok: Tiktok.com/mydbpodcastPatreon: www.patreon.com/mydbpodcast Youtube: www.youtube.com/juliemericaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Build the connection before you reach for the correction. a lot of communication does happen non verbally - so offer kindness and listening and empathy through your expressions. If you’re standing, face the person directly but don’t tower or “muscle up”, show you’re receptive by sitting up straight and actively listening to the speaker. People who roll their eyes and shake their head and keep attempting to speak over others are far less likely to actually get any points across because it only serves to escalate emotions and trigger people’s fear of feeling unheard and disrespected.But obviously verbal communication is VERY important to manage and streamline as well. If you can continuously approach people with a respectful tone regardless of how angry, frustrated, or petty you feel; you’re ahead of the game. Maybe it comes in the form of being more passive, or sarcastic, or some of us are more direct - but tone and expression can change the entire conversation - even if the words you say are identical. Saying - “I’m feeling like you didn’t understand me” can come off very different than “I’m feeling like you didn’t understand me” When a conversation is getting tense, it can be good to reassure the other person, that you’re on their team and you’re acting in good faith and not attempting to pull the rug out from under them. This will allow them to let their guard down and trust you so they aren’t coming from as much of a defensive and shut down place. Remember, if someone has their defenses up, those shields block EVERYTHING from entering - including logic and reasoning. So the key is deescalate so they know that they are safe with you. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The detour today is brought to you by ADHD.Today I share the true meaning of "staying present" and how to do so without becoming hyper self critical. I also share tips on how to stay confident by bringing your real self to the table. And there's a few other nugs of wisdom you'll have to tune in to find out, please and thanks. if you haven't already, please rate Make Your Damn Bed Podcast FIVE glorious stars on apple so I can spread this info and make it accessible to more and more people. For more exclusive hot hot bonus content: Sign up for the monthly newsletter here: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comInstagram: instagram.com/mydbpodcastTiktok: Tiktok.com/mydbpodcastPatreon: www.patreon.com/mydbpodcast Youtube: www.youtube.com/juliemericaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes people will get heated and things may escalate quickly and get tense out of nowhere and we may not even know what or why things are happening this way, but if we create a tool belt of things we can return to, we can remember that we do have some power in whether we choose to defuse or further escalate a potentially tense situation. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

 The conversational awareness series summary: Stay present, don’t prep responses. Read the room. Take your time. Not every convo needs to be gossipy and ruthless and petty. Steer conversations more positively if they become too negative. Keep shit neutral for the most part. If sharing is the vibe great but don’t pry and probe if people wanna share they will - and people are more comfortable sharing with those who share and listen also but it can be really awkward to keep pressing and prying. Take responsibility if you say inappropriate shit, in the moment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to tell a better story: Be present, stay confident, get curious and honest. Then ask yourself: Why this story? Why now?Is the audience and timing appropriate? Don't derail the energy. Read the room. Is this story worth telling? Keep your central message in mind throughout the story. Am I building a through-line? Drop breadcrumbs so your listeners can relate and pick up on clues that help keep them on board throughout the story. Give yourself a thread to follow from the beginning of your story to the end. Am I sharing too much? Avoid TMI. Keep your backstory relevant and don't over-do details that don't actually build the story. Change your inflection and pacing to build tension. Punch up, don't be petty. Take your time and have fun. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you wanna have a good conversation with someone, you'll be present, stay confident, get curious, treat everyone like a friend, and focus more on being interested than interesting.Find common interests and passions and get real! Bein' vulnerable helps people open up in return. Hope today is as magic as you are. Love you, cutie!Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

once you practice aligning your external actions with your internal self-awareness, you will get better and better at creating natural connections, but it can be helpful to know when and how to gracefully excuse yourself from a conversation that is no longer serving you. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

BEING INTERESTED IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN BEING INTERESTING. If you're more concerned with "proving" yourself than "staying present" - you're wasting valuable time and energy. Competence is proven through actions, behaviors, choices, and taking responsibility for mistakes in real time. We're not typically impressed with braggarts and show-offs. We see right through the inauthenticity that comes from people attempting to be "interesting".Being someone who offers genuine interest in others and themselves from a place of earnest curiosity, is far more interesting than those who are forcing it. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cultivating external self awareness comes from aligning with your internal self awareness and goals. When you know how you are - you can streamline your actions, choices, words, and behaviors to align with who you are AND what the room needs in any given moment. Tone, volume, topics, etc. should be accounted for when building connection - but we should be able to both "read the room" and "stay aligned with our highest self" in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming. Practice listening, keeping conversations fairly neutral, sustaining respect and objectivity when you can - and you'll feel less self-conscious and more self-aware as a result. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

when your internal self awareness isn't aligning with your external - you can self correct in real time to feel more safe and confident in your personal guidance system. don't be afraid to check in regularly (as objectively as possible) to ensure your external is matching up with the internal. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do your beliefs, thoughts, actions, decisions align with your internal favorite version of yourself? The more you practice internally evaluating the things that make you feel the best and most aligned - the less you'll have to over-analyze and critique your external presentation to ensure it's aligning with your best self, internally. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The key to building self awareness (that doesn't ebb into self-consciousness) is being aware internally of the things that align with you and your favorite version of yourself. Trust that your external will naturally begin to match the internal as you begin to get clear about the things that make you feel the most whole and well-rounded. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Taking an extra second to look back now can save you hours of stress and worry in the future. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Day one of a self awareness series in which I share strategies and techniques to become LESS self-aware about the stuff that removes you from your ability to stay present and mindful and MORE self-aware about the things that truly matter. Internal self-awareness is far more powerful than external self-awareness. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

People generally just want to feel heard and being a good listener is a huge part of that. Practice waiting to respond, silence allows space for people to continue. Practice making eye contact + repeating what they've just said back to them in their own words. And practice really being there while they create their own conclusions. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes it can be the right move to just change the subject. Whether to diffuse, or just escape an awkward situation - learning how to change the subject can help others get out of toxic cycles too. Whether discreet or obvious - don't be afraid to change the subject if things are starting to spiral out of control. Thank you for listening to the daily motivation podcast to help you get out of bed, so you can start making it. Rate and review 5 stars on Apple, if ya dig it. Sign up for the newsletter at www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The more we remind ourselves that we don’t need to be positive all the time, we will realize there is also no need to be negative either - but by relaxing and redirecting to my breath I can remind myself that there’s nothing I can do NOW and the best possible thing I can do - for my own well being - is to drop it. To let it go. To move on. And allow myself some space between me and the perpetual thought. Thank you for listening to the daily motivation podcast to help you get out of bed, so you can start making it. Rate and review 5 stars on Apple, if ya dig it. Sign up for the newsletter at www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’re finding yourself dwelling and turning the same concern over and over and over and over, you’re ruminating. And even though it’s incredibly common, it’s also terrible for your mental health. Although the reflection portion of rumination can often be fairly beneficial in finding a solution or process the strong emotions that are associated with the situation, rumination in general is often less proactive and only perpetuates a negative mood surrounding it. Plus, when most people ruminate it’s not with the intention to reflect and grow, so it ends up making us feel more helpless and stressed about the situation occurring in the future. It’s linked to depression and anxiety and is not only a symptom but a cause - so it often becomes a self fulfilling and compounding cycle of toxic thinking. Rumination can make you feel isolated, and can in turn push others away, which becomes a self-fulfilling negativity. It’s also a way to prolong + intensify depression, plus when you’re ruminating on something - you’re not present in the now. You can’t think clearly about next steps if you’re dwelling on past problems. Thank you for listening to the daily motivation podcast to help you get out of bed, so you can start making it. Rate and review 5 stars on Apple, if ya dig it. Sign up for the newsletter at www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Take your time with the journey and lean into what YOU really want at a pace that works for you, not against ya. There's a freedom in traveling alone, don't be afraid to do it and take control of your own schedule. Pit stops are enjoyable, when you let yourself enjoy 'em. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Pareto principle states that for many outcomes, roughly 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes (the "vital few").Increase productivity by focusing on the 20% of the input that impacts 80% of the output. https://www.forbes.com/sites/kevinkruse/2016/03/07/80-20-rule/?sh=37bfd0a3814b“How to 80/20 your work:(1) Make a list of the 10 things you spend the most time on.(2) Circle the two that truly drive your results. Do more of those.(3) Look at the others. Eliminate ruthlessly. Automate or outsource what you can. Press pause on the rest.(4) Repeat” — James ClearSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes we think we're helping and we're actually making it worse. Protect yourself first, it'll show others they can do the same. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Parkinson’s Law - according to wikipedia, is the adage the amount of work expands to fill the time available for its completion. If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute to do. If you give yourself a week to do a two hour task, psychologically speaking the task will increase in difficulty to fill the time available. Typically stress and tension and overwhelm fill the space of the task. I’ve had months to do my taxes and the amount of stress thinking I have done considering doing the taxes, I could’ve completed the damn things three times over already. If you’re trying to clean your house and you don’t have a time limit, you may get caught up detailing a drawer for two hours but if a friend is on their way and you have 20 minutes to tidy - you’ll get more done in less time. Set a vision and a REASONABLE timeline to accomplish the tasks, and watch your time open up!https://www.atlassian.com/blog/productivity/what-is-parkinsons-lawSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I had high expectations for this trip, and while I only met a few of them - I am proud of myself for prioritizing the things that weren't optional for me. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Take care of sh*t before it compounds. Take care of future you. Ask yourself: "is this gonna cause me more pain/drama/stress in the future?" And if so, take care of it NOW. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cleaning tips for sloppy babes: NEVER LEAVE A ROOM EMPTY HANDED TOUCH IT ONCE STRATEGY - instead of putting it down, put it away CLEAN AS YOU GO DO EASY STUFF FIRST to inspire later stuffUSE TIMERS 5 MINUTE NIGHTLY TIDY Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chores can be hella irritating because no matter how well you do them, you still have to show up and do them again in a day or so. I will be sharing some tips to make chores less tedious and more efficient, enjoyable, and sustainable. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In a healthy relationship, you will feel respected by your partner. Your emotions are validated and they don’t tell you how to feel or get angry with your emotional states. A healthy relationship means you and your partner respect that you each have lives outside of each other. You respect each others space, privacy, relationships, and goals. Encouraging each other to be full people outside of your relationship can make such a huge difference in both party’s mental health. A healthy partnership means each partner is treated as an equal. Conflicts can be rational and calm and openly communicated. You are both free to express your feelings and you understand each other’s boundaries and preferences within them.  A healthy relationship is definitely not always perfect, but abusive or controlling behavior should never be a part of a healthy relationship.  Partners treat each other like that - partners. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

TW: ABUSE https://stopthehurt.org/is-your-relationship-headed-for-trouble-recognizing-red-and-yellow-flags/Yellow Flags in a RelationshipEarly signs of abuse may be based on attempts to control the other person. Some “Yellow Flags” that a relationship is turning abusive include: Always checking in on you (by text, calling, or asking your friends/family/workplace where you are) Not supporting or encouraging you  Putting you down (in private or in front of others) Pressuring you to do things that make you uncomfortable. Becoming angry too quickly or unreasonably. Love Bombing – overwhelming you with affection and talk of the future very early in the relationship Red Flags in a RelationshipAbuse may escalate to a “Red Flag,” which is any behavior that attempts to gain power and control in a relationship. Common red flags include: Intimidation (through looks or actions) Threatening to harm you or loved ones (including pets) Damaging/destroying your belongings, or home Accusing you of being unfaithful without any proof  Using their financial power as a justification for their actions Showing extreme jealousy of your friends/family  Even one or two of these behaviors in a relationship is a red flag that abuse may be present. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

@ALEX_ELLE on instagram: I stopped doing these things to create healthier relationships with others (and myself): Expecting people to read my mind. Instead, I started naming my needs and being clear about my boundaries.Pretending to be strong and okay when I'm not. Instead, I started being honest and vulnerable about my feelings.Being silent about the things that have hurt me. Instead, I started speaking up and having hard conversations with those around me.Dishonoring my boundaries to "keep the peace." Instead, I started advocating for myself.Punishing myself for not healing fast enough. Instead, I started giving myself grace and being patient with my process.Carrying emotional baggage that didn't belong to me. Instead, I started putting things down that I no longer wanted to carry.Overextending myself to make everyone happy. Instead, I started saying no, I can't, or I don't want to do that.Trying to get people to change, heal, and grow. Instead, I started meeting them where they were and accepting them for who they were.Staying in relationships that have expired. Instead, I decided to part ways with love and compassion.Refusing to let go because I was too scared of what could come next. Instead, I started releasing the things I knew were no longer healthy for my growth.Avoiding conflict and hoping things would "just get better." Instead, I started facing conflict head-on, even if it felt uncomfortable.Excusing unhealthy behavior because "I love them." Instead, I learned that I can love people and choose not to engage.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’re struggling to know whether or not you’re falling victim to the sunken cost fallacy in your current relationships, there are some reflective questions you can ask to check in and ensure you’re not settling. Do you feel like you need to stay in your relationships?Or do you feel like you want to stay in your relationships?Do you resent the amount of time or energy you’ve put in? Or do you focus more on the amount you’ve grown and changed together through that energy?If you find yourself focusing more on the things you’ve lost in your relationships (which are things you can never recover) rather than the things you have gained? (which is growth you can never lose) than you may be staying out of obligation rather than desire - which is a surefire way to build resentment and toxicity in your relationships, if you haven’t already. Realize that past investment is exactly that. Your time and your energy and your efforts cannot be recovered - no matter what happens next.Ask yourself, if you were starting over today, would you choose this person again? I do that regularly when I clean out my closet and decide what clothing gets to stay - as well as with my relationships and friendships to really ensure that I am continuously choosing people who are best for me and where I would like to go. Then imagine what the future will likely look like if things remain as they are right now, with your person. What do you feel about that? Would anything NEED to change on your end or on their end to make a happy union more likely?Think about a time when you have left a relationship in the past. Is that a relationship you wish you had back? Probably not. Making the decision to leave is often the hardest part. But cutting your losses now will be easier than cutting even higher and broader losses in the future. (WEBSITE) says: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-the-sunk-cost-fallacy-could-be-keeping-you-in-bad-situations/“If you find yourself fixating on ‘getting your money’s worth’ out of unenjoyable experiences or lose sight of your future goals, one helpful strategy is to consider what you’d advise a friend or family member to do in a similar situation. Flexible thinking and self-compassion are invaluable. They can also help us realize that the only way to ‘win’ an unwinnable game is to stop playing it.” - Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

People seem to think because they have invested months or years of time into a person that they shouldn’t give up on the potential for them to change, when their current reality is miserable and undeniably better if they cut ties. I have heard countless friends justify staying too long bad relationships with “but we’ve been together for so long” or “I’ve put so many years into this,” or and “we’ve worked so hard at it,” or “We just have so much history” The key to not falling victim to the sunk cost fallacy is by being real with yourself about the reality of your current state and remember that ALL sunken costs cannot be recovered. Forget the past instead of dwelling on what used to be or how hard you worked, instead get real about the current costs and current benefits - and if the current costs aren’t outweighing the current benefits or looking like they’re going to realistically change in the foreseeable future, you gotta cut your losses. Remember as humans, we have a tendency to fear losses more than we expect gains - so we must keep that in mind when we find ourselves clinging to things that we’re far better off without. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.