It's All About Connection! NVC With Dr. B!
297 episodes — Page 5 of 6
Ep 96097-A Rerun of "The Epidemic of Trauma and Why NVC is the Cure!"
Episode NotesThe ACE Study is from the early 1990s, where they sampled about 17,000 people, having them take a survey that asked them, "From the ages of 0 to 17, how many of these things happened to you?" And they listed out 10 indicators things like sexual abuse, physical abuse, did you grow up in a household where there was mental illness, did you grow up in a household where there was drug abuse, did you grow up in a household where your parents were separated or divorced, where you saw a mom being treated violently? There were 10 of these, and they would have folks say yes or no to that, and then they would walk away with a score from 0 to 10, 0 meaning no trauma. 10 meaning the most. And what they found, after giving that survey to 17,000-plus people is two-thirds of the people said that they had had at least one of those things, and many of them said many of those things happen to them when they were between the ages of 0 and 17.Key Points Discussed:People that have had trauma tend to respond in a very particular way because they need to create safety for themselves. (2:30)In the program that I ran, my friend looked at me and she said, Well, that's great, but how are you going to transfer that behavior? And I was stopped in my tracks by that statement, in fact, it kept me awake for two weeks. I was waking up in the middle of the night trying to think to myself, she's right, what if we can't transfer that behavior, what good is the work that we're doing. After two weeks of thinking about that question, the answer came to mind, and I think I literally woke up, sat up in bed with the answer, and that's my cliffhanger right there. (3:28)When people have had trauma, they need safety, their brains are actually wired to be on this heightened alert for safety because they haven't had safety. And we see a lot of these behaviors where people fight by yelling or raising their voice or saying obscenities. Or flight, running away. Or freezing. And this is all in service to get people safe. There's a part of the brain called the amygdala. And that's what it does. It's on this alert. Keep me safe. Keep me safe. Keep me safe. (4:06)I ran this program for eight years with kids from the juvenile justice system, and talk about trauma, you're talking about some of the deepest trauma. Lots of people dying, lots of situations where folks are starving, seeing their parents be very physically abused over and over again, I mean all kinds of stuff. And yet, we had this amazing level of cooperation and connection with the youth. (8:50)Additional Resources:Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethodTwitter: @TheBigbieMethodInstagram: @thebigbiemethodLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvcYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channelBe sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with a friend that would get some value!The Bigbie Method website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
Ep 95096-Our Early Programming, Self Love and NVC
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Ep 94095-The Power of Connecting Requests
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Ep 93094-The Stages of Learning a New Skill - Like NVC!
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Ep 92093-Words Smords
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Ep 91092-Holding Space in a Group
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Ep 90091-Mass Shootings, Social Emotional Learning, and NVC!
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Ep 89090-Having Closure Thanks to NVC
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Ep 88089-A Discussion About Feelings
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Ep 87087-More About Trauma and NVC
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Ep 86086- Dr. B Gets Empathy!
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Ep 85085-NVC and a Growth Mindset
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Ep 84084-A Little about Someone's NVC Journey
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Ep 83083-NVC During Life's Hard Moments
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Ep 82082-Using Other Conversational Responses
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Ep 81081-NVC on the Trail - A Success Story!
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Ep 80080-NVC on the Trail - All About Empathy Gym and Why it Works
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Ep 79079-NVC On the Trail - Using NVC in a Community Discussion
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Ep 78078-NVC is not a Process
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Ep 77076-The Importance of Expressing
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Ep 76075-Know Where You Are!
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Ep 75074-NVC on the Trail - Building a New Brain, the Importance of Practice, & Other Parts of a Meandering Conversation
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Ep 74074-NVC on the Trail - All About Feelings & Thoughts
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Ep 73073-Talking NVC on the Trail
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Ep 72072-A Work of Art
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Ep 71071-Indicators that Empathy Might Be Useful
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Ep 70070-ABC + NVC
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Ep 69069-Judging Judgements
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Ep 68068-I'm an F'ing Unicorn
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Ep 67067-Celebrating Bringing NVC into Schools
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Ep 66066-Accountability and a Badge System for NVC - Oh My!
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Ep 65065-Listener Question - I want to give empathy to my kid - but we need to get to school!!
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Ep 64064-Listener Question - NVC and Family Stuff
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Ep 63063-When Someone is "Shut-Down" - What To Do?
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Ep 62062-In Memory of Trent
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Ep 61061-We Love Screwing Up!
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Ep 60060-Shit-talking Role Play
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Ep 59059-NVC and Spirituality
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Ep 58058-When Empathy May Not Be Best!
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Ep 57057-Moving Towards Conflict Part 2
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Ep 56056-Moving Towards Conflict Part 1
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Ep 55055-Asking for What You Need in Communication
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Ep 54054-Protective Use of Force
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Ep 53053-I Know That's A Judgment
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Ep 52052-Sharing Power with Youth
ESome of the topics discussed in this week's episode include:Community Connections - what it was and who participatedHow to work with kids in a group setting and build trust and emotional safety for allSetting up Agreements with youthWhat to do when Agreements are brokenUsing a talking piece as a strategy for respect and emotional safetySticking with empathy first in all circumstancesAnd more... Additional Resources:Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethodTwitter: @TheBigbieMethodInstagram: @thebigbiemethodLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvcYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Ep 51051-Deepening the Self Empathy Process with Guest Dr. Jeremiah Murphy
In this Episode:What to do in moments of intensity?Thinking about your intention - what does that mean and how can it inform your self-empathy process?Going beyond intellectual understanding of your feelings: an example of what this looks like Additional Resources:Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethodTwitter: @TheBigbieMethodInstagram: @thebigbiemethodLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvcYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Ep 50050-Common NVC Pain Points
Are you struggling with NVC and how to make it come alive in your everyday interactions? The good news is that you are in good company. NVC is simple in concept but quite challenging to make come alive in your life. Join us to hear some of the Common Pain Points people tend to experience including: Feeling resistant to the processThinking NVC is the only way to communicateThinking the NVC process is too mechanicalFeeling too overwhelmed or unsure to practice Additional Resources:Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethodTwitter: @TheBigbieMethodInstagram: @thebigbiemethodLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvcYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Ep 49049-I'm Sorry!
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Ep 48048-How to "Handle" Other People's Drama or Not!
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Ep 47047-Are you here now?
There are a number of topics we discuss all in service to greater understanding around presence. Self Connection - this is modeled on the show5-4-3-2-1 - a cool activity you can do to get yourself back to presence, especially in a heated momentHaving patience with presence and how it is similar to a meditation process.How NVC is mostly about presence, so is it useful to use NVC language without presence?Join us for this show to learn about all of this and more. Additional Resources:Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethodTwitter: @TheBigbieMethodInstagram: @thebigbiemethodLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvcYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel