Grief Out Loud

Jenny Delacruz is a family therapist and author who specializes in working with children and families. Her newest book, "Momma, Can I Sleep With You Tonight?" is about the big and overwhelming emotions that so many children are experiencing during the COVID-19 pandemic. We discuss how Jenny sees grief show up in her clients, related to COVID-19, the media coverage of the murders of Black people, often at the hands of police, and the ongoing traumatic effects of racism and racist violence. Jenny provides some easy to implement strategies to support children in processing the grief and other emotions connected to these events. To learn more about Jenny's work:Writing: https://www.cobbscreekpublishing.com/ Momma, Can I Sleep With You Tonight? Counseling practice: https://www.restorativetherapy.info/ StoryTime with Ms. Melange on Facebook, Instagram, & YouTube

Jenny Delacruz is a family therapist and author who specializes in working with children and families. Her newest book, "Momma, Can I Sleep With You Tonight?" about the big and overwhelming emotions that so many children are experiencing during the COVID-19 pandemic. We discuss how Jenny sees grief show up in her clients, related to COVID-19, the media coverage of the murders of Black people, often at the hands of police, and the ongoing traumatic effects of racism and racist violence. Jenny provides some easy to implement strategies to support children, and adults to, in processing the grief and other emotions connected to these events. To learn more about Jenny's work:Writing: https://www.cobbscreekpublishing.com/ Momma, Can I Sleep With You Tonight? Counseling practice: https://www.restorativetherapy.info/ StoryTime with Ms. Melange on Facebook, Instagram, & YouTube

Jenny Delacruz is a family therapist and author who specializes in working with children and families. Her newest book, "Momma, Can I Sleep With You Tonight?" about the big and overwhelming emotions that so many children are experiencing during the COVID-19 pandemic. We discuss how Jenny sees grief show up in her clients, related to COVID-19, the media coverage of the murders of Black people, often at the hands of police, and the ongoing traumatic effects of racism and racist violence. Jenny provides some easy to implement strategies to support children, and adults to, in processing the grief and other emotions connected to these events. To learn more about Jenny's work:Writing: https://www.cobbscreekpublishing.com/ Momma, Can I Sleep With You Tonight? Counseling practice: https://www.restorativetherapy.info/ StoryTime with Ms. Melange on Facebook, Instagram, & YouTube

When Natalie's dad died suddenly at the start of her freshman year of high school, she searched, but couldn't find what she most needed: a resource written for and by other grieving teens. So, she decided to create one. In March of 2020, Natalie launched the website Teenage Grief Sucks which serves as a platform for articles ranging from what it's like to go to driving school when you're grieving to tips for how teens can support their grieving friends. To read Natalie's work, or contribute your own, visit www.teenagegriefsucks.com.

Maria Collins, Vice President of the New York Life Foundation, joins Grief Out Loud to discuss three new initiatives to support grieving children and their families: 1) The Golden Sweater, a children's book about grief, 2) Speaking Grief, a multi-platform public media project, produced by WPSU, and 3) The Brave of Heart Fund which provides direct monetary support to children and families of those who die working on the front lines of the COVID-19 pandemic. Knowing that the COVID-19 pandemic disproportionately affecting communities of color, especially the Black and Latinx communities, and that these communities also face economic disparities and a lack of access to services, the Brave of Heart Fund is a vital resource. Resources Download The Golden Sweater children's book Learn more about The Brave of Heart Fund Watch a trailer for Speaking Grief New York Life Foundation's Ask the Experts series COVID-19 School & Community Resources Grief Sensitive Schools Initiative

How would you tell your children that their father murdered their grandparents? This is the heartbreaking question Jenn, whose children were 6 and 10 at the time, faced when she got the news that her ex-husband killed his parents. This is the story behind the facts that we read in the news. The story of three people navigating grief that changed every aspect of their lives. It's also a story of love. Of anger. And of hope. If you or someone you love is affected by abuse and needing support, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or if you're unable to speak safely you can log onto thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474. Tips for Supporting Children & Teens Grieving a Murder or Violent Death. After a Murder Workbook.

What does it mean to integrate grief into your life? To respond to it as something that doesn't need to be fixed or eradicated? Mari Gonzalez is the co-founder of the Grief Rites Foundation and creator of workshops and classes for those dealing with grief. We discuss how grief shaped so much of Mari's life - from her career choices to how she engages with the world. We also talk about what's coming up in her grief related to the current COVID-19 pandemic. Be sure to check out the Grief Rites Foundation to learn more about their monthly reading series (now offered virtually) and Mari's website, The Grief Revolution.

Paula Becker is an author and mother of three. Her memoir, A House on Stilts, Mothering in the Age of Opiod Addiction, chronicles how she and her family navigated her oldest son, Hunter's, struggles with substance use. Paula and her husband Barry braced themselves, many times, for the reality that Hunter's addiction might end his life. Then, in 2017, while riding a bus from their hometown of Seattle to the Bay Area of California, Hunter was hit and killed by the driver of the bus, as he attempted to re-board after a rest stop. Paula and Barry filed a wrongful death suit which, after two years, led to a jury declaring the bus driver and company were responsible for Hunter's death. Paula talks about Hunter, the grief she faced throughout his struggle with substance use, how she and her husband learned to make space for one another's grief, and what it was like to be so public with that grief during the trial.

In Ep. 143 we talked with Paige about step-parenting grieving children and in this one, we talk with one of her children, 17-year-old Chloe. Chloe was 14 when her mother Danielle died of colon cancer. After Danielle died, Chloe and her younger sister moved in full-time with their dad and Paige. Chloe talks about honoring her mom on Mother's Day while also celebrating Paige, what it's like to help her younger sister carry on the legacy of their mom, and why sometimes talking about grief with the people we are closest to can be overwhelming. Listen to Ep. 143 with Paige. For additional resources on navigating Mother's Day, visit The Dougy Center. Want to join us on Friday, May 8th at 6 pm (PST) for Reflection, our annual Benefit? We're going virtual! Learn more here.

This mini-episode shares two emails from listeners and how to participate in The Dougy Center's annual Reflection Benefit & Auction. This year, Reflection is going virtual which means everyone can participate from around the globe! Reflection funds nearly half of The Dougy Center's peer support group program and allows us to create resources like our Tip Sheets and this podcast. The virtual livestream program is May 8, 2020 at 6:30 p.m. PDT and the event will culminate with the drawing of the winning Porsche Boxster Raffle ticket. Join us early! The pre-cast will begin at 6 p.m. and you can make sure everything is working smoothly before the program starts at 6:30 p.m. Step 1: Before the event, you will need to register. Here's how. Step 2: On May 8, you will need to join the event on two devices — one for the livestream and one for the online bidding platform. Watch the livestream program on The Dougy Center's public Facebook page. The online bidding platform can be found here. Step 3: It's more fun with friends! Here's information on how to host a ZOOM party or Facebook Watch party.

How would the world be different if grief was universally understood as a natural reaction to loss and not something that needs to be fixed or taken away? Lindsey Whissel Fenton is working to create that world through Speaking Grief, a public media initiative designed to raise grief awareness. The initiative is a multi-element project that includes a one-hour documentary, Speaking Grief, that debuts on public television on May 5th, 2020. Lindsey talks about the project's inspiration and how months spent interviewing grieving people from across the country now influences how she sees her own grief and how she shows up for those she cares about. Speaking Grief website & trailer. Want to watch the full documentary? Check your local public television station listing for air dates!

In May of 2015, Jayson Greene's first child, Greta, had just turned two and was spending the day with her grandmother, Susan. While she and Susan were sitting on a bench in Manhattan, a piece of masonry fell from a building, hitting them both. Susan survived, but Greta did not. From the first days of grief, Jayson turned to writing, documenting all that was unfolding. These initial writings became his stunning memoir, Once More We Saw Stars. We talk about Greta, grief, and parenting Jayson's second child, Harrison.

Being a step-parent is complicated under the best of circumstances, but what happens when your children's other parent dies? Paige Smith was just settling into her new family with her husband and his two children that he co-parented with his ex-wife, Danielle, when they got the news that Danielle had been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. When Danielle died and the girls moved in Paige and her husband, Paige found herself entering the new role of full-time mother, but without the support and guidance of Danielle. We talk about how Paige and her husband, together with their girls, are working to honor Danielle's memory and navigate grief individually, and as a family.

Dr. Tashel Bordere has spent years researching the grief experience of black youth affected by homicide and gun violence. While many grieving people can relate to their grief being disregarded, for black youth and youth with marginalized identities, their grief not only goes unacknowledged, but is often penalized. Their behaviors and reactions, which are normal responses to grief, are met not with support and understanding, but with negative labels and punishment. This results in a concept Dr. Bordere has identified as suffocated grief and is rooted in systems of oppression and discrimination. Dr. Bordere, PhD, CT is a Certified Thanatologist and Assistant Professor of Human Development & Family Science at the University of Missouri. She is also a Robert Wood Johnson Forward Promise Fellow and the author of numerous research papers and publications focused on black youth affected by homicide, gun violence, and race-based trauma. To learn more about Dr. Bordere's work: S.H.E.D. Grief Tools (MU Extension) Video Website Handbook of Social Justice in Loss and Grief (Harris & Bordere, 2016) Recent Publication: Bordere, T. (2019). Suffocated grief, resilience, and survival among African American families. In M. H. Jacobsen & A. Petersen's (Eds.), Exploring grief: Towards a sociology of sorrow. New York: Routledge. Recent Presentation: Grief, Bereavement, and Death at a Distance: Perspectives on the impact to the community (COVID-19). Presented through the Association for Death Education and Counseling.

What happens when a crisis affects everyone, including those who support others? Who is left to show up and care for those who need it the most? Grief professionals are faced with finding answers to the question, "How do we care for ourselves so we can care for others?" Megan Devine, founder of Refuge in Grief, author of It's OK That You're Not OK, and creator of Writing Your Grief online classes and communities. We delve into these questions and explore how the pandemic is affecting Megan, the people she supports, and her colleagues in the grief world.

In 2010 Dr. Justin Yopp and his colleague, Don Rosenstein, piloted a support group for widowed dads that grew into being part of the Widowed Parent Project. A decade later, Dr. Yopp and his team continue to learn from widowed parents about the unique challenges of grieving their partner, raising children as a solo parent, and forming a new trajectory for their lives and their families. Learn more about the Widowed Parent Project. Read The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers Reimagine Life *all proceeds from the book go directly to the Widowed Parent Project.* Watch Dr. Yopp's TEDx Talk

The COVID-19 global health crisis is an unprecedented time of uncertainty, change, and concern - three things that often accompany grief. For those who are already grieving, elements of this pandemic may feel familiar and bring us back to times when we had to readjust everything in our lives. Leslie Barber is a grieving widow, parent to a grieving child, and the founder of Grief Warrior, which creates gift boxes for grieving people. We talk all about grieving in this time of COVID-19 and how she and her daughter are navigating the disruptions to daily life while carrying their grief. Leslie's company - Grief Warrior When Your World is Already Upside Down - Supporting Grieving Children & Teens During the COVID-19 Global Health Crisis - a Tip Sheet from The Dougy Center. https://www.dougy.org/grief-resources/tip-sheets/

This is an encore episode that originally aired on February 25th, 2019. When grief enters our world, many of us expect to cry and feel frustrated, but we aren't as prepared for the intense fear and worry that can also be part of loss. Someone being 10 minutes late getting home sparks visions of a car crash or getting a call from the hospital. Maybe sleep eludes us as we spin over how to do day to day life without our people. Sometimes the hardest part about anxiety is how it can catch us off-guard, either because we've never dealt with it before, or because the anxiety we already knew well has grown to an untenable level. Claire Bidwell Smith, a licensed counselor, author, mother, and grieving daughter recently published her new book, Anxiety, the Missing Stage of Grief, that delves into all the ways anxiety can be part of grief. Before Claire was 25, both of her parents died of cancer. Her adolescence and young adulthood were deeply etched with their illnesses, treatment, and deaths. Out of this devastating grief grew her desire to help others facing similar situations. Resources: Claire's website Self-Care Planning Tip Sheet NASP (National Association of School Psychologists) Tips on talking with children about coronavirus/COVID-19 It's OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine

Katie Arnold is a writer, mother, grieving daughter, and ultra-marathoner. After her father died of cancer, Katie developed intense anxiety about her health - every headache and muscle pain felt life-threatening. A runner from a young age, Katie took to the trails and started running longer and longer distances, eventually becoming an ultra-marathoner and running 50K, 100K, and 100 mile races. She recently published her memoir, Running Home, where she interweaves memories of her father and the present day maneuvering of grief. Be sure to check out Running Home - A Memoir & Katie's website. Listen all the way to the end of the episode for a clip of Jana's interview with Danny Koordi on the Screwed Up Moments podcast!

Kevin is a previous participant in the L.Y.G.H.T. Program - Listening & Led by Youth in the Foster Care System: Grief, Hope, and Transitions. We discuss how a random vending machine trip prompted him to join the L.Y.G.H.T. Program, the support he found in the group as he grieved both death and non-death losses, and how he carries what he learned into his daily life. To learn more about the L.Y.G.H.T. Program, be sure to listen to Ep. 136: L.Y.G.H.T. - Supporting Grieving Youth in the Foster Care System.

While we usually talk about the grief associated with a diagnosis or a death, this episode focuses on meeting the needs of youth in the foster care system who are grieving non-death and death losses. Dr. Monique Mitchell, Ph.D., F.T., is the Director of Translational Research & Curriculum Development at The Dougy Center and Juliette Martinez, M.S.W., is the Coordinator of the L.Y.G.H.T. Program - which stands for Listening and Led by Youth in Foster Care: Grief, Hope, and Transitions. This peer support program for youth in the foster care system is based on The Dougy Center's grief support model. We discuss the unique needs of grieving youth in the foster care system, how the L.Y.G.H.T. Program works to address these needs, and the ways this work affects and inspires Monique and Juliette. To learn more about L.Y.G.H.T, email [email protected] or visit www.dougy.org.

This episode first aired in July of 2018. Since that time, Eidan's brain tumor began growing again in early 2019. On October, 26, 2019, just a few weeks after her 35th birthday, Eidan utilized Oregon's Death With Dignity and died surrounded by a small group of her family and friends. Eidan is deeply loved and missed by her wife, Michelle, their baby Gemma, her family, and everyone who had the opportunity to know her. In December of 2014, Eidan was a young professional moving up in her career as an engineer. In the last year and a half she'd gotten married, started a new job, and she and her wife Michelle were busy doing what they loved - going to live music, doting on their five animals, and spending time with friends and family. Then, on January 13th, 2015, everything changed. Eidan went for an MRI and before she made it back to her car, the doctor called and asked her to return to the hospital. They had seen a mass in her brain. The eventual diagnosis: a grade 3 astrocytoma wrapped around her brain stem. Three and a half years later, Eidan is living with cancer. We talk about what it's like to be a young adult with this diagnosis that has no cure and no definitive course. We also discuss how she and her wife are making decisions about finances and the intentional way they choose to spend time and energy. Eidan shares suggestions for supporting those dealing with a cancer diagnosis, including what questions to ask (and not ask) and ways to show up that really make a difference. The First Descents program we talk about provides life-changing outdoor adventures for young adults (18-39) impacted by cancer. Be sure to check them out!

Paul Denniston grew up with rigid cultural, religious, and gender expectations for what was appropriate when it came to expressing grief and emotions. This translated as, "Don't express anything besides happiness." There was no room for sadness, fear, grief, or vulnerability. After years of pushing these feelings aside, Paul turned to movement as a way to start expressing them. He began a yoga practice and then trained to be a teacher. From this start, he went on to create Grief Yoga, a program for transforming grief through sound, breath, and movement. We talk about finding emotional fluidity, sobriety, grieving the deaths of his sister and beloved dog, and the positive effects of cute raccoon videos. You can connect with Paul and his teaching at www.griefyoga.com

Just over four years ago, Jenny Lisk's husband Dennis died of glioblastoma - brain cancer. This loss propelled her into a new world of solo-parenting their two children who were just 9 and 11 at the time. Jenny went searching for a guidebook to help navigate this new reality, but when she couldn't find what she was looking for, she decided to create her own. She started the Widowed Parent Podcast, interviewing other widowed parents, professionals, and people who had a parent died when they were children, and is currently working on two books - a memoir about her family's experience and The Widowed Parent Handbook. We talk about being a caregiver, telling children difficult news, parenting solo, and what Jenny's learned over the past four years. Be sure to listen to the Widowed Parent Podcast and check out her "What I've Learned About Widowed Parenting" guide.

David Kessler is a renowned author, speaker, and retreat leader. He co-authored two books, On Grief and Grieving and Life Lessons, with another grief and loss icon, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. As with so many who are drawn to working with grief, David's professional path started with the personal. At 13 he witnessed a mass shooting while his mother was dying in the ICU. In 2016 he became a grieving parent when his younger son, David, died at 21. David's newest book, Finding Meaning - the Sixth Stage of Grief, was inspired by his search to continue finding meaning in his own life and work. Be sure to connect with David at www.grief.com

In 2013, Shelby Forsythia was barely into her twenties when her mom died of cancer. This loss propelled her into a search for information, understanding, and community. In that search, Shelby wrote Permission to Grieve, created a podcast, Coming Back: Conversations on Life After Loss, and started a grief coaching practice. We talk about grief as rebellion, stolen wallets, and queer identity and grief. Shelby's website: www.shelbyforsythia.com The Coming Back episode we did on supporting grieving children and teens: www.shelbyforsythia.com/podcast/jana-decristofaro

It's a New Year's Eve encore episode and we're bringing back Ep. 11: Who Am I Now? Brendon and Jana delve into the many layers of loss that we grapple with when someone dies and how that loss can change us. When we grieve, we miss the person and who they were in our lives. We miss who we were with them. Often we miss who we were in general before the death. As we think towards the future, we grieve for the events and occasions that we won't share with the person. Over time, people in grief may start to see themselves differently. What they value, prioritize, and want in life can change radically. These changes occur on many levels: Spiritual shifts Difficulty remembering/accomplishing small tasks. Want to be social/difficult to be around people More compassionate/less able to tolerate everyday drama Put more time and energy into relationships Less concerned with work and material success/more immersed in work Can't seem to exercise/exercise all the time Increased interest in movies/books/songs about grief – can't tolerate them As you sort through what is different, it can be helpful sit with a series of questions: How do you see yourself now? How do you see the world? Which of these changes do you value? What strengths have you discovered? Where are the places in your life that you need additional support? What parts of yourself do you miss and want to re-cultivate?

"How many children do you have?" This simple question turns treacherous for grieving parents. Megan Hillukka's daughter, Aria, died of Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC) when she was 15 months old. This devastating loss jettisoned Megan into a new world filled with grief, shock, and panic which eventually led to a diagnosis of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Needing support, Megan turned to therapy, writing, and connecting with other grieving parents. Be sure to check out Megan's website, Instagram, and her podcast, The Cultivated Family, to learn more.

This episode first aired in December, 2018. Nothing says end of the calendar year holiday stress like grief. Dougy Center staff member Rebecca Hobbs-Lawrence is back with more suggestions around planning for and making your way through the December holidays when you and your family are in the midst of grief. We recognize too that for families who don't observe the December holidays, daily life can become very stressful in the midst of the frenzy that gets created by those who do. Follow The Dougy Center on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter (@thedougycenter) for more Dougy's December Tips.

Naomi and Chad had a whirlwind start to their relationship. They were both in their 20's and got engaged less than a year after they met. Then, a few months before their wedding, Chad died in a skateboarding accident. Naomi tried her best to push the grief aside, but 8 months later it came rushing out. Everywhere. This forced her to change up her life and reach out to friends and family for support. Through engaging more fully with her grief, Naomi's found a way to honor Chad by living in the world the way he did - eager and open to new experiences.

Leslie Barber is the founder of Grief Warrior, a series of gift boxes designed for those in grief. The items in the boxes are informed and inspired by what Leslie most needed when her husband Steve died. We talk about grieving a spouse vs. grieving the parent of your child, effective and compassionate employer bereavement policies, and how to show up for the people in your life who are grieving.

Kao Kalia Yang and Shannon Gibney are writers, friends, and grieving mothers. Shannon's daughter, Sianneh, died at forty-one and a half weeks. Kalia's son, Baby Jules, died at nineteen weeks. In the days, weeks, and months after these losses, Shannon and Kalia went searching for the words of others experiencing similar grief. What they found was limited and written primarily by white women. The absence of narratives about loss written by Indigenous women and women of color just amplified their sense of isolation. So, they decided to create what they most needed to read and hear. Their new book, What God is Honored Here? Writings on Miscarriage and Infant Loss by and for Native Women and Women of Color, is a collection of deeply personal essays from women exploring the rawness of grief and how it intertwines with race and culture.

Grief is intensely personal and sometimes it's intensely private. When Anne Moss Roger's son Charles died of suicide, she decided to go public with her grief and the story of his life. Inspired by her son's innate skill for connecting with others, she's now dedicated to helping people who are struggling with grief, suicidal thoughts, and substance use. To learn more, visit Emotionally Naked, Anne Moss's blog. Her website includes links to her new book, Diary of a Broken Mind, and her TEDx Talk - Can A Blog Save Lives? If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) Crisis Text Line: Text Hello to 741741

In 2018, The Dougy Center was selected as one of a handful of children's bereavement programs to partner with StoryCorps and the New York Life Foundation on Road to Resilience: Memories that Move Us Forward. Road to Resilience was born out of a commitment to helping children cope with the death of a parent, sibling, or loved one. In this mini-episode, Traci talks with Amira and Alina about what they remember and miss about their daddy. *Music by Chad Crouch.*

In 2017, Caroline Wright was working on her third cookbook and raising two kids with her husband. Life was busy and full in only the way it can be when you have two kids under the age of five. Then one day everything changed. It was the day she was diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive brain tumor, and given a year to live. After surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, and radical changes to her lifestyle and diet, Caroline is now considered cancer free. Since her diagnosis she's written a memoir about her experience based on the Caring Bridge site she used to keep family and friends updated. She also wrote and published a beautiful children's book, Lasting Love, as a way to help her children know her love will always be with them, no matter what happens. www.carolinewrightbooks.com

In 2018, The Dougy Center was selected as one of a handful of children's bereavement programs to partner with StoryCorps and the New York Life Foundation on Road to Resilience: Memories that Move Us Forward. Road to Resilience was born out of a commitment to helping children cope with the death of a parent, sibling, or loved one. Partnering on this project meant a group of staff and volunteers from The Dougy Center trained with StoryCorps staff to facilitate 40 minute conversations with children and their adults. At the end of each recording, families decided if they wanted to archive their conversations both with StoryCorps and the Library of Congress. They also chose if they wanted to share their recording with us at The Dougy Center. Over the next few months, you'll hear short clips of these conversations in a series of mini-episodes. In this third mini-episode, Ruby and Jana talk about Ruby's amazing Grandma Riba who died when Ruby was a young teenager. *Music by Chad Crouch.*

Maria Collins, Vice President at the New York Life Foundation, and Brennan Wood, The Dougy Center's Executive Director join us to talk about the business of supporting grieving children and families. The New York Life Foundation provides funding for a wide variety of children's grief initiatives focused on research and evaluation, direct service, and resource development and accessibility. The Dougy Center recently received a $1 million-dollar grant from the New York Life Foundation - the largest grant we've received in our 36-year history! In our conversation we discuss the projects this grant funded and also how Brennan and Maria have been changed by this work. Projects and initiatives mentioned in this episode: StoryCorps Road to Resilience: Memories that Move Us Forward The Dougy Center's Road to Resilience Collection Judi's House/JAG Institute Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model (CBEM) ASU's Resilient Parenting for Bereaved Families National Alliance for Grieving Children Grief Reach Grants Coalition to Support Grieving Students/Grief Sensitive Schools Initiative

Marisa Bardach Ramel was 17 when her mother Sally, received a stage 4 pancreatic cancer diagnosis and given two months to live. While they were always close, Marisa retreated into school and friends, avoiding her mom and her attempts to connect. Then, when Sally outlived the prognosis and Marisa was a freshman in college, her mom asked if she wanted to write a book together. Almost twenty years later, Marisa recently published their mother-daughter memoir, The Goodbye Diaries. In their alternating chapters, readers get a window into how they were processing Sally's diagnosis, treatment, and approaching end of life very differently. The process of writing the book also created a pathway for Marisa and Sally to re-establish a close relationship during their last years together.

In 2018, The Dougy Center was selected as one of a handful of children's bereavement programs to partner with StoryCorps and the New York Life Foundation on Road to Resilience: Memories that Move Us Forward. Road to Resilience was born out of a commitment to helping children cope with the death of a parent, sibling, or loved one. Partnering on this project meant a group of staff and volunteers from The Dougy Center trained with StoryCorps staff to facilitate 40 minute conversations with children and their adults. At the end of each recording, families decided if they wanted to archive their conversations both with StoryCorps and the Library of Congress. They also chose if they wanted to share their recording with us at The Dougy Center. Over the next few months, you'll hear short clips of these conversations in a series of mini-episodes. In this second mini-episode, Megan, Michael, and Mason talk about life after Michael and Mason's dad died. *Music by Chad Crouch.*

This is the second in our series on Grief & Parenting. In 2017, Brittany and Jonas were raising two young children and pregnant with their third. Then, after returning home from a business trip Jonas was diagnosed with aplastic anemia. Seven weeks later, despite intensive treatment, Jonas died. Aria, their oldest was three and a half. Her younger brother Loic had just turned two, and baby Klyde was still in utero. Brittany talks about explaining Jonas's death to their children, helping Klyde to know his father, and learning to ask for help.

This episode kicks off a new series exploring the realm of parenting and grief. We'll be talking to parents about what grief looks like at different ages & developmental levels, how they support their kids while also making time for their own grief, and what works and doesn't work for their kids in the intense and confusing landscape of grief. In this first episode of the series we talk with Josh about parenting his daughter Sylvia after his wife Kari died of suicide when Sylvia was just 5 1/2. His story might sound familiar if you listened to Ep. 117, which is a brief clip of a longer Road to Resilience conversation Josh and Sylvia recorded as part of our partnership with StoryCorps and The New York Life Foundation. If you missed it, be sure to check it out!

In 2018, The Dougy Center was selected as one of a handful of children's bereavement programs to partner with StoryCorps and the New York Life Foundation on Road to Resilience: Memories that Move Us Forward. Road to Resilience was born out of a commitment to helping children cope with the death of a parent, sibling, or loved one. Partnering on this project meant a group of staff and volunteers from The Dougy Center trained with StoryCorps staff to facilitate 40 minute conversations with children and their adults. At the end of each recording, families decided if they wanted to archive their conversations both with StoryCorps and the Library of Congress. They also chose if they wanted to share their recording with us at The Dougy Center. Over the next few months, you'll hear short clips of these conversations in a series of mini-episodes. In this first episode, Josh and Sylvia talk about what it was like after Sylvia's mom died of suicide when Sylvia was just 5 1/2. *Music by Chad Crouch.*

Who Died? was created by Aimee Craig to give voice to the memories of those we carry with us. Each episode is about one person's life and death as told by a loved one. Episode 6 is a conversation with Melissa about her father Larry. More information at https://www.whodiedpodcast.com/

What is it about dark humor and why are we drawn to it when wrestling with painful life events? Laughter, especially the kind that wells up from a shared understanding of heartbreak, can be a surprising aspect of grief. Harry Jensen's father died of stage 4 colon cancer in January of 2017. Harry turned to stand-up comedy as a way to put his grief into words that often spark discomfort and uncertainty, but also serve as inspiration for people in the audience to open up about their own grief. We discuss prompting uncomfortable laughter, Father's Day, and how the intersections of identity can affect grief.

In 2017, pop singer-songwriter Neil Davis, was about to release his second album when his father died suddenly of cardiac arrest. In that moment, everything in Neil's world changed, including his album release plans. A few months ago in March of 2019, Neil released a new single, Not Better, which explores the heartbreak of grief and the questions we are left with when someone dies. Questions about gone-ness and what does the term better actually mean when it comes to grief? You can find Not Better in iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, or wherever you get your music. Stay tuned for more music from Neil! Music for this episode, Not Better, was written and performed by Neil Davis.

What do you remember about being 3 1/2? If you're anything like most of us, your memories are hazy. Maybe you have an image of the room you slept in or a vague sense of what it felt like to be hugged by a family member. What you likely don't have are clear, articulated ones of interactions and relationships, the kind that older children, teens, and adults can access when it comes to remembering someone who has died. Mary Plouffe, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist who had a clear and professional sense of how young children understand death and grief. This sense became more personal though when her sister Martha died, leaving behind a 3 1/2 year old daughter, Liamarie. Mary recently published her memoir, I Know It in My Heart, Walking Through Grief With a Child, about her experience of grieving Martha's death and doing so alongside Liamarie, who was wrestling to understand her mother's death and what it meant to grow up motherless.

In Episode 111 we talked with Marie, whose husband Jonathan died suddenly and very unexpectedly from a drug overdose. In this episode we're talking with another young adult whose spouse died, but this time after almost a decade of living with cancer. John and Melissa met back in the 90's and dated for a few years before getting married. For John, this was a relationship like none other. One that was rooted in a deep sense of love, appreciation, and care. Melissa helped John to feel feelings he didn't think he would ever experience. Melissa died just over two years ago and in the past few months, John put plans in place to radically change up his life. He's exploring the question - How do we love and care for ourselves in a way that mirrors how the people we're grieving loved and cared for us when they were alive?

In the summer of 2016, Marie and Jonathan were newly married and living in Brooklyn, NYC. One day in August, Marie flew back from a trip, expecting to find Jonathan waiting for her at the airport. When he wasn't there, she thought it was just the continuation of a conflict they'd had, so she spent the night at her mom's house and headed to their apartment in the morning. What she found when she walked in would change every element of her and her life.

There's nothing like grief to take us completely out of the moment. We get pulled into the past where we try to remember everything we can while also ruminating over what we wish we had said or done differently. At the same time, we leap to the future, anticipating what events will be like without the person we are grieving. Dr. Jessica Thomas, PhD, LMFT, who focused her dissertation research on using mindful photography with anticipatory grief, now helps people in grief explore this process of creating images as a way to ground themselves in the actual moment. Dr. Thomas is the president of the board of the NW Association for Death Education and Bereavement Support. She is also a professor at Lewis & Clark College and has a private psychotherapy practice supporting clients in grief, life transitions, and other challenges. Join the Mindful Photography Facebook Group and find Jessica on Instagram @drjessicathomas

Back before you could ask Google anything from, "What's the best way to clean shower grout?" to "How do I grieve my parent?" when it came to answering these kinds of questions, we turned to bookstores and libraries to search for answers. In the late 1980's and early 1990's, even if you did go looking for information about grief, you'd be more likely to find a dense, clinical textbook than something that could help you understand what you were going through. Then in 1994, Hope Edelman published her groundbreaking book, Motherless Daughters. A book that spoke to thousands of women grieving their mothers. Brennan Wood, Executive Director of The Dougy Center, was one of those readers. Soon after the release of Motherless Daughters, Hope and Brennan met for the first time on the Leeza Gibbons daytime talk show. Twenty-five years later they're together again for a conversation about being motherless daughters who grew up to be motherless mothers. Learn more about Hope's writing and work.