Grief Out Loud

When her father died of cancer, a few days before her 18th birthday, Laurel Braitman started running. Running towards the academic and professional accomplishments her father pushed her to achieve and running away from the intense shame and guilt she carried about their last conversation. It wasn't until her 30's that Laurel stopped running long enough to face her greatest fear: feeling her feelings. Laurel's newest book, What Looks Like Bravery: An epic journey through loss to love, chronicles her quest to connect with grief and how it led to the biggest adventure of all - opening up to love. In our conversation we delve into: Growing up with her father's illness and the threat of him dying Running from guilt & shame in grief Overachieving as a coping mechanism Wanting to be a "geriatric kid" at Josie's Place, a peer grief support program for children & families What Laurel learned about grief from being a volunteer facilitator in that program Learning a new way of being in the world & staying open to love Having a "cosmic do-over" in helping her mom at the end of her life The co-existence of love and sadness

At the age of 27, Dr. Peg Sandeen faced an impossible request. Her husband, John, who was dying from HIV/AIDS, told Peg that he couldn't stand the pain anymore and wanted her to help him end his life. It was the early 1990's though and there was no legal avenue for Peg to help John in his wish to die with the dignity he had in life. Peg went on to get both a Master's and Ph.D. in social work. Throughout that time, the memory of John's last wish motivated her to work towards changing the landscape for people facing the end of life. Dr. Sandeen is now the Executive Director of Death With Dignity, working in end-of-life advocacy and fighting for medical aid in dying laws across the U.S. In our conversation we discuss: Meeting and falling in love with John Getting the news of John's HIV diagnosis How Hannah and John talked with their daughter Hannah about her father's illness The shame and stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS Caregiving for a dying husband as a young mother and wife The current state of right to die laws across the U.S. Moving from an intellectual to emotional understanding of grief Learning to support Hannah in her grief Dr. Sandeen's HuffPost article: My Husband Asked Me to Help Him Die. I Couldn't Do It - and My Life Changed Forever

Meet Me Where I Am, a new film by Grant Garry, explores the topic of grief through individual stories of loss, love, and hope. The film aims to normalize grief in our culture and explores how we can actively participate in helping others through grief. Grant has always been curious about grief, from his first experience when his grandmother died when he was a teenager to his most recent loss, the death of his uncle. Meet Me Where I Am is the culmination of that curiosity, and a dedication to ensuring we all feel better equipped to talk about grief. Follow Meet Me Where I Am on Instagram to see clips from the film (@meetmewhereiamfilm).

Colin Campbell is a lot of things - writer, husband, friend - but the role he identifies with most is being a father. So, when his two teenage children, Ruby & Hart, were killed by a drunk driver in 2019, Colin was lost and terrified. Who was he without his kids? How would he survive the intensity of grief? Soon after their deaths, well-meaning friends and family would say, "There are no words," but for Colin, this phrase wasn't comforting. It left him feeling more alone because what he really needed were words. Words so he could talk about Ruby & Hart. Words to help articulate his pain. And words from others who shared what they remembered and missed about his children. Colin's book, Finding the Words: Working Through Profound Loss With Hope and Purpose, outlines the words and actions that helped him stay close to Ruby & Hart while learning to live in a world without them. Topics in our conversation: How Colin continues to honor and remember Ruby & Hart The rituals and routines that were helpful in the early days of grief How Colin navigates guilt and anger Learning to lean into the pain Finding ways for joy to live alongside grief The myth that the death of a child leads to divorce How Colin continues to embody being a father Colin's article in The Atlantic - What Losing My Two Children Taught Me About Grief

When Jessica Schaffer's partner of 25 years, Patrice, died in March of 2021, she found herself untethered. In the early days of grief, Jessica went within, needing to find her orbital pattern in this new solar system without Patrice. During this time she also germinated seeds of creativity. Seeds that were planted by Patrice when she gifted Jessica an iPad, just days before she learned she was dying. In the fall of 2021, Jessica picked up the iPad and started drawing. This process inspired her to start The Chrysalis Imagery, a company where she offers a line of greeting cards and other inspired imagery. In this conversation we discuss: What is was like to midwife Patrice through her dying process How the early days of grief felt The image that came to Jessica soon after Patrice died How creativity changed everything The ways their dog Kirby grieved Jessica's hopes for The Chrysalis Imagery Jessica on IG - @thechrysalisimagery and Facebook - @thechrysalisimagery

It's rare for a story to have just one side, especially in grief. This is true for Eddie, whose father died of suicide in 2021. One side of the story is how Eddie's father was in the world - extremely successful and well-regarded. Another side of the story is how he was at home and in his relationship with her. In grief, Eddie has had to reckon with missing her dad while also being confused about why she is missing him. She's also had to navigate living in the world without a dad who was such a force in shaping everything she thought she wanted in life. Eddie is committed to talking openly about grief and mental health and wants to ensure there is room for her and others to tell both sides of the story.

When Tida Beattie's Thai immigrant parents died in 2019, she went from being a long-distance caregiver to an overwhelmed & grieving daughter. In her search for support, she found what so many do, a lack of culturally specific or informed resources. This experience motivated her to change this for others by creating spaces for immigrant families to receive support before and after a death. Tida is a Thai-American end-of-life doula, grief support facilitator, immigrant advocate, and co-founder of MESO, dedicated to supporting caregivers and those in grief with compassion and a cultural lens. In this episode, we discuss: Growing up as a Thai-American and her family's experience of cultural bereavement. How her parents' immigrant experience informed their approach to end-of-life. What it was like to be a long-distance caregiver. Tida's search for culturally relevant grief support. The importance of acknowledging cultural bereavement. The goal and mission of MESO. Learning to hold both joy & grief.

The list of things to do when someone dies is long and burdensome. If one of the things on that list was, "return to work," then this episode is for you. If you're a manager or co-worker wondering how to best support someone when they get to that item on the list, this episode is also for you. In a world where most companies provide woefully inadequate, if any, bereavement leave, many people have to return before they are ready, and when they do go back they are usually met with awkward comments or outright silence. Margo Fowkes, founder of Salt Water, an online community for grief, published her book, Leading Through Loss - How to Navigate Grief at Work, with the hope of easing this transition, both for employees and employers. We talk about: How Margo's experience as a mother grieving a son and a daughter grieving a mother inspired her to start Salt Water. Why it's important for companies to support their employees who are grieving. The power of peer support in the work place. How support doesn't always mean more time off. What employees identified as their biggest need at work. Examples of effective work place support. How writing this book helped Margo reflect on how she and her family returned to work and school after her son died. Listen to Margo's previous interview on Grief Out Loud. Ep. 172 Living After Your Child's Life Ends.

After her mother died in 2013, Charlene Lam faced the daunting prospect of dealing with all of her belongings. Making decisions about what to keep felt impossible, so Charlene turned to her skills as a gallery curator and asked herself: "If I was to do an exhibition about my mother, which 100 objects would I choose?" This experience transformed Charlene's understanding of how to interact with the objects of people's lives. It also inspired her to create the The Grief Gallery and become a grief coach. Topics we talk about: Feeling blindsided by her mother's death. Charlene's instinct to plan and do, rather than feel, in the early days of grief. How she eventually found ways to express emotion through creativity. What she learned about grief from growing up as the child of Chinese immigrants. How we can all think about curating the items of our lives, before we die. Grief and the Lunar New Year holiday. Follow Charlene & The Grief Gallery on Instagram.

We wanted to release this episode at the beginning of the new year, because it hits on a topic we haven't explored much before – psychic mediumship. It's something that comes up in our groups at Dougy Center and the people who bring it up usually do so with a lot of trepidation and concern for how others will respond. We figured if it's coming up in our groups, many of you out there might also be curious about this kind of work. Patty Montoya is a psychic medium, energy healer, anticipatory grief coach, Reiki practitioner, and death doula. She came to this work from her personal experience. When she was 18, her younger brother died of leukemia. A few years later, her mother also died, from a fast-moving disease. Patty turned to this work in the hopes of providing others with the support she most needed in her grief. We get into: Common misperceptions about psychic mediumship. What kinds of messages Patty receives and how she translates them. What to expect in a session. How she responds to skepticism about her work. Examples of messages Patty's received from her family members. How she cares for herself in this work. www.titipoza.com Follow Patty on IG & FB

"Are we going to be okay?" This was one of the first questions Amy Choi & Rebecca Lehrer, co-founders of The Mash-Up Americans, posed in their new podcast series, Grief, Collected. Throughout episodes with folks like adrienne maree brown, Dorothy Holinger, and Linda Thai, Rebecca and Amy explore what grief is and how it impacts us emotionally, physically, culturally, and collectively. Rebecca & Amy talk about the questions they posed in this series and how the answers they uncovered are shifting their personal, familial, cultural, and collective responses to grief and loss. Listen to Grief, Collected Check out The Mash-Up Americans *Note: this episode talks about suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. You can call 988 or text Hello to 741-741.*

Many of us end up working in the grief world because of our personal experiences. We want to give others what we most needed. This is especially true for Melody Lomboy-Lowe and her niece Gracelyn Bateman, who co-founded Luna Peak Foundation in the hopes of supporting both those affected by cancer and those grieving a death. Melody was diagnosed with cancer when she was 6 and went through intensive treatment until she was 9. Gracelyn's dad, and Melody's brother-in-law, died of a cardiac event while running in 2016. Through their books and social media channels, Luna Peak provides multicultural stories of survivorship and hope. Places we go in this episode: Grieving during the holidays. What Melody needed from adults while she was going through treatment. How interviewing those affected by cancer and those grieving a death has impacted them. Their hopes for Luna Peak Foundation going forward. Books mentioned: Beyond Remission Beyond Grief Holiday Griefings

When your parent is one of six people in medical history to be diagnosed with and die from a rare disease, the phrase, "The odds are one in a million" takes on a very different meaning. This was true for Rebecca Hobbs-Lawrence, Pathways Program Coordinator at Dougy Center, who was 11 when her father died of heart cancer. At that point, she decided that if something tragic could happen, it would most likely happen to her. This worldview informed so much of how she approached school, dating, family, and becoming a parent. In this conversation we explore: The early days of being a parent without her father. How vigilance and anxiety led Rebecca to over-function as a parent. The joy she found in watching her children get to be kids, without the responsibility she had to take on after her father died. How witnessing her grandson survive an extremely rare brain disease has helped rewrite her "one in a million" narrative. Other Grief Out Loud episodes with Rebecca: Ep. 18: Grieving the Death of a Sibling - Tips for Supporting Children Ep. 20: Grief & Developmental Disabilities Ep. 27: Grief and the Holidays Ep. 67: Creating Legacies in the Face of a Terminal Illness Ep. 98: Under Pressure - Grief & December Holidays Ep. 174: Holidays, Grief & a Pandemic Ep. 240: The (Not) Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Holidays & Grief Mini-Episode

For a lot of us, the end of year holidays + grief = the (not) most wonderful time of the year. Rebecca Hobbs-Lawrence, Pathways Program & Group Coordinator at Dougy Center, is back for our annual Holidays & Grief episode. We discuss negotiating with family and friends around how we want to celebrate or not celebrate and how the past few years have shifted our priorities. Rebecca also shares how she and her family are approaching the holidays with a new type of grief, her mother having Alzheimer's. If you missed our past Holidays & Grief episodes, be sure to listen to Ep. 27, 98, and 174. Tips For Getting Through the Holidays & Holiday Plan Worksheet. Register for our "Navigating Grief During the Holidays" webinar happening on Thursday, 12.1.22, 10 am - 11:30 am PST.

Have you found it difficult to read anything longer than a paragraph since your person died? It's a phenomenon familiar, both personally and professionally, to Eleanor Haley, MS & Litsa Williams, MA, LCSW-C. Eleanor & Litsa started the What's Your Grief community back in 2012 as a way to create the kind of grief resources they most needed in their own lives and for the clients they supported. They just published their first book, What's Your Grief - Lists to Help You Through Any Loss, and it will come as no surprise that it's filled with lists designed to help you better absorb information about grief from death and non-death losses. If you missed Eleanor & Litsa's first appearance on Grief Out Loud, go back and listen to Ep. 22: Grief & Becoming a Parent.

We deliberated for a long time about whether it was appropriate for us to do an episode on pet loss. We know from those grieving the death of a person that it can hurt when someone tries to relate to their loss by sharing about their pet who died. We also know that grief is grief. Pets bring us joy and laughter and frustration and tears and love - just like humans do. In the end we decided to do this episode because we want to honor that for many people, their pets are family members, and the grief when one of them dies is real and valid and worthy of recognition and support. As our guest, Debrah Lee, Veterinary Well-Being Program Director for DoveLewis Veterinary and & Specialty Hospital, says, "These relationships matter." Mentioned in this episode: DoveLewis's Pet Loss Support Program Additional Resources

Día de Los Muertos, or "Day of the Dead," is a two-day holiday to remember family members and friends who have died. Día de Los Muertos has origins throughout Mexico and parts of Latin America, and is celebrated on November 1 and 2. The holiday is not a version of Halloween, but rather an enduring ritual celebrated since ancient times. Valenca Valenzuela, MSW, Volunteer Coordinator at Dougy Center, joins us to talk about the history of Día de Los Muertos, her personal connection to the holiday, and how people from all traditions can respectfully celebrate Día de Los Muertos by honoring and acknowledging its cultural origins. More about Dougy Center's Día de Los Muertos celebration. Valenca's previous Grief Out Loud appearance - Born For This Work. Movies mentioned in this episode: Coco & The Book of Life. History of Día de los Muertos. Día de Los Muertos, es una celebración de dos días que tiene como fin recordar a miembros de la familia y amigos que han muerto. Tiene sus orígenes en diferentes regiones de México y partes de América Latina, y se celebra el 1 y 2 de noviembre. Esta festividad no es una versión de Halloween, sino un ritual perdurable celebrado desde la antigüedad. Valenca Valenzuela, MSW, Coordinadora de Voluntarios del Dougy Center se une para hablar acerca de la historia de Día de los muertos, su conexión personal con esta celebración, y cómo la gente de todas tradiciones puede celebrar este día de manera respetuosa, honrando y reconociendo sus orígenes culturales. Más sobre la celebración del Día de los Muertos del Dougy Center. Participación previa de Valenca en Grief Out loud – Born For This Work (Nacida para este trabajo). Películas mencionadas en este episodio: Coco & The Book of Life (El Libro de la vida). Historia del Día de los Muertos.

Charlie Tull has two lives, but he's not deceiving anyone. There's his civilian one that he lives with his kids and family and there's his professional one that he spends with his firefighter family. In 2018, one of his fire family members, Eli, died of a heart condition. Three years later in 2021, another member of his fire family, Scott, died of COVID. Charlie's first reaction to both of these shocking and unexpected deaths was numbness. Then, he went underground with his grief. Over time though he realized he needed and wanted to honor Eli and Scott by talking about them - and about the grief and pain of their deaths.

Mark Chesnut is a NYC-based journalist, editor, and public speaker. His book, Prepare for Departure, Notes on a single mother, a misfit son, inevitable mortality, and the enduring allure of frequent flyer miles, is about love and care and acceptance – not the infamous acceptance from the 5 stages of grief – but the acceptance that can happen between a mother and son when one of their lives is coming to an end. This episode travels to a lot of places, including: What Mark learned about grief from his mother after his father died. How those lessons shaped the way he approached caring for her and grieving her death. How Mark moved into a place of acceptance with his mother for the ways she responded when he came out to her as a young adult. The ways he dealt, and continues to deal with grief, even during the height of COVID, when he was unable to access his usual outlet, travel.

This was meant to be a story about grieving in a foreign land. A story about navigating cancer treatment and funeral planning in a different language. And, it is that story, but it it's also the story of the accumulation of loss and grief. Rebecca was 22 when her mother died of cancer. She was 23 when her fiancé died in a car crash, leaving her with their two young children. In the 8 years since she's also had a number of family members and friends die. In talking with Rebecca, you would think she is decades older based on the number of deaths she's experienced. This ended up being a story of grieving in a foreign land, of explaining death and grief to children as they grow older, and of finding ways to live with both joy and grief. Note: thanks to long-distance recording and spotty internet, the sound is a little wonky at times.

This is a story about the people behind the numbers. A new study came out this week (September, 2022) estimating that 10.5 million children, across the globe, are grieving the death of a parent or caregiver from COVID-19. Lissa and Bryce's children are four of those. Bryce died in late December, 2021, after weeks in the hospital, receiving treatment for COVID-19. Throughout Bryce's illness and since his death, Lissa has done everything she can to answer her children's questions honestly and let them know they are in this together. She's also had to find ways to make space for herself to grieve her husband and all that they shared as a family. Here's that new study estimating the number of children impacted by COVID orphanhood/caregiver death.

Adam Stevens, RDT, (he/they), knows grief. He grew up in a family of five. A family that is now a family of one. Adam brings this deep knowing of grief to his work as the Program Manager for Bereavement and Mental Health Services at the Hetrick-Martin Institute (HMI), where he supports primarily BIPOC queer & trans youth in transforming grief & the pain of loss through creative arts therapy. We talk about: How Adam came to work with grief & loss. What Drama Therapy is. Adam's work at Hetrick-Martin Institute supporting LGBTQIA+ youth in being seen and heard in their grief. The collective losses the youth they work with experienced through the COVID pandemic. The multi-faceted intersection of queer identity and grief. How Adam's personal grief has changed through this work. Learn more about the Hetrick-Martin Institute and follow them on IG & Fbook. Note: this episode mentions suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling. Please reach out for support. Crisis Text Line: text HELLO to 741741 The Trevor Project: text START to 678678 (for LGBTQ youth) The Trans Lifeline: (877) 565-8860

The word complicated came up a lot in this episode with Joe, whose dad died in 2017 after a decade of failing health. Joe's dad was a complicated guy. Joe's relationship with his dad was and continues to be complicated. So, it's unsurprising that Joe's grief since his dad died has been equally complicated. That grief has evolved over time, from numbness at the start to beginning to feel and express a full range of emotions. These days, Joe continues to reckon with the complexity of his dad and their relationship, while also making space for remembering the times and places where humor and happiness also lived.

Everett's spent the last few years trying to access and process the emotions that come with grief. Emotions that he learned to push aside when he was 12 and his father died. Emotions he didn't know how to make sense of in his early twenties when his brother died. Emotions he was better able to feel and express to when his grandmother died just this past winter. Grief doesn't happen in a vacuum and that is particularly true for those who have aspects of their identity that are marginalized by others. For Everett, growing up poor and being trans are two of these aspects that add layers to his grief. Layers that those who don't carry these aspects never even have to think about. Note: this episode mentions suicide. If you or someone you know if struggling, please reach out for support. National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 988 TransLifeline: 1-877-565-8860 Crisis Text Line: text HELLO to 741741

Valenca Valenzuela, MSW, was born on Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) which seems fitting for someone who grew up to hold space for people before and after a death. Valenca is the Volunteer and Group Coordinator at Dougy Center, supporting children, teens, young adults and their adult family members who are grieving a death. As a death doula, she supports people who are facing the end of their lives. She is also an instructor for the Going with Grace program, readying others to do similar work. Valenca comes to this work as someone with a lot of lived experience. When she was 16, her father died of cancer. As an adult, she was with her grandmother at the end of her life. A trip to Ireland to connect with her maternal lineage solidified her passion for working as a death doula and starting conversations about end of life. Valenca shares about what it was like to be 16 and grieving for her father, what she's learned from working with kids and families in our peer grief support groups, what it means to have a "good death," and ways we can all be better prepared for end of life.

Amanda Drews is the founder of Buzzy's Bees, the organization she started after her son Hudson, who was 13 months old, died of SUDC (Sudden and Unexplained Death in Childhood). Amanda started Buzzy's Bees with a mission to provide financial support to families dealing with the unexpected loss of a child. Over time, Amanda realized what families really needed and wanted was a chance to talk about their children. So she launched the Give Grief a Voice Project where families meet with professional writers and artists who capture the essence of their child and their life in a unique piece of art. In this episode we talk about: The stories we tell ourselves about death & grief. What Amanda's older son needed in his grief. How Amanda navigates her season of grief - the time between Hudson's birthday and anniversary of the day he died.

This episode originally aired in June, 2019. What is it about dark humor and why are we drawn to it when wrestling with painful life events? Laughter, especially the kind that wells up from a shared understanding of heartbreak, can be a surprising aspect of grief. Harry Jensen's father died of stage 4 colon cancer in January of 2017. Harry turned to stand-up comedy as a way to put his grief into words that often spark discomfort and uncertainty, but also serve as inspiration for people in the audience to open up about their own grief. We discuss prompting uncomfortable laughter, Father's Day, and how the intersections of identity can affect grief.

Dr. Micki Burns, Chief Clinical Officer at Judi's House and Dr. Laura Landry, Director of Evaluation & Research at the JAG Institute join us to talk numbers. They, along with the team at Judi's House/JAG Institute, created the CBEM, the Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model, which estimates how many children and teens will experience the death of a parent/caregiver or sibling before they turn 18. For years that number in the U.S. was 1 in 14. For 2022, it's increased to 1 in 13, reflecting the rise in deaths across the country due to COVID, substance misuse, and other causes. Laura and Micki talk about why it's important to quantify grief, the risk factors children who are grieving face, the disproportionate death rates in communities of color, and what adults can do to support these 1 in 13 children. Visit Judi's House & the JAG Institute to learn more about their work and download information about the 2022 CBEM findings.

Rebecca Soffer, co-founder of the Modern Loss Community, started becoming an expert in grief the moment she learned that her mother Shelby was killed in a car crash. Her expertise expanded when four years later, her father Ray died of a heart attack while traveling. As a single woman in her early thirties, Rebecca needed to talk about her grief, and she really needed to hear others talk about theirs. It was this longing for an ongoing conversation and led her, along with co-founder Gabi Birkner, to start the Modern Loss Community. Nine years later, Rebecca just published her second book - The Modern Loss Handbook: An Interactive Guide to Moving Through Grief and Building Your Resilience. It's the kind of book that many people are looking for in their grief - filled with prompts for writing, drawing, and movement practices to help people stay connected to themselves, their people who died, and the world around them. Follow Modern Loss and Rebecca on Facebook, IG, and Twitter.

As humans, we have a pervasive desire to compartmentalize. To box up messy thoughts and emotions and "just get on with it already." For Marisa Renee Lee, this was the approach she took to navigating grief. Grief that started when she was 12 and her mother, Lisa, was diagnosed with MS. Grief that grew as her mother was later diagnosed with cancer and died in 2008. Grief that expanded to included infertility, pregnancy loss, and most recently, a cousin who died of COVID-19. These last three losses led Marisa to realize that she didn't have to box up her grief and shove it to the back of the closet. She found a way to open those boxes, to sit with the reality of what was lost, to honor what was – and in that process she also found a way to make room for joy and beauty. Marisa wrote about these discoveries for her new book, Grief is Love, Living With Loss. In our conversation we talk about how she got to the point of writing this book, what's she learned about grief, what it's been like to grieve in this world as a Black woman, and all the ways she stays connected to the memory of her mom Lisa.Learn more about Marisa. Order Grief Is Love, Living With Loss. Follow on Instagram @marisareneelee

In grief land, lots of groups are talked about as invisible or forgotten. Children, parents grieving a miscarriage, ex-partners, and siblings. For siblings, their grief often exists in the shadow of their parents – or it's at least treated that way by others. Jordon Ferber ran into that when his younger brother, Russell, died when Russell was 21. While Jordon's parents recognized that Jordon needed support just as much as they did, the rest of his sphere started where most people do, with the question, "How are your parents?" Jordon is the host and creator of the Where's the Grief? podcast. He's also a longtime facilitator for a sibling grief support group through The Compassionate Friends. Follow Jordon on IG & Facebook. **Note: this episode contains salty language.**

Being a plumber doesn't mean the pipes in your house never leak. Being a landscaper doesn't mean your own yard is magically free of weeds. Why is it then that those of us who work in grief sometimes fall prey to the magical thinking that we will somehow be immune to the heartbreak when someone dies? Meghan Riordan Jarvis, LCSW, is a trauma-informed psychotherapist with over 20 years of clinical experience who harbored the same secret wish. A wish which imploded when her mother died in 2019, just two years after her dad died of cancer. While Meghan's training and clinical acumen didn't prevent her from experiencing grief, they did enable her to recognize when she started to develop PTSD – post traumatic stress disorder – and that she needed additional help. In our conversation, we talk about: - What was different about grieving after her father's death vs. her mother's. - How she recognized the signs of PTSD and the treatment she sought out. - The concept of "meaning making" and how it's important to clarify what types of meaning are supportive and which can be harmful. In addition to being a trauma therapist, Meghan is a fellow grief podcaster and her show is called Grief Is My Side Hustle. Her memoir is due to be out in the world in 2023. Grief is My Side Hustle website Grief is My Side Hustle podcast @meghan.riordan.jarvis on IG @griefismysidehustle on Fbook

Lingering. Shivering. Simmering. Splintering. These are the words DJ Arsene Versailles wrote to describe grief after his mother, Florcie Yves Versailles, died of COVID-19 in May of 2020. This grief was and continues to be layered - as most grief is - and some of these layers are specific to his mom being a Black woman who died during a pandemic, of a disease that has come to be so much more than just a medical diagnosis. DJ's mom was committed to social justice and this inspired him to do similar work in the wake of her death. After meeting Kristin Urquiza, co-founder of Marked by COVID, he became involved in their effort to establish a COVID Memorial Day. Listen to DJ's interview with Sarah Betancourt. Learn more about Marked by COVID.

Anne Gudger was pregnant with her first child, Jake, when her husband Kent died in a car crash. Years later she met and married Scott and they had a daughter, Maria. Fast forward to March of 2020, the beginning of the pandemic, when Anne and Maria found themselves drinking a lot of coffee and talking about grief. Those conversations inspired them to start Coffee and Grief, a Facebook group for folks wanting to connect around loss. The Facebook group grew into a series of curated readings called Coffee Talk where writers share short pieces about anything in the realm of grief. Maria and Anne are funny and warm and somehow make talking about grief feel comfortable. In our conversation we discuss: What it was like raising Jake as a young widow. How Kent's memory acts as the silent third parent in their blended family. Why community matters when it comes to loss. How writing can help people integrate grief. Read Anne's writing at Anne Gudger Join the Coffee and Grief Facebook group or visit their public Coffee and Grief page to learn more about readings and their 30-day writing classes.

There are a lot of things in life that are difficult to describe. That's why it can feel so gratifying when someone gives voice to something that we can barely grasp for ourselves. Kathryn Schulz is used to finding the right words. She is a staff writer at The New Yorker and the author of Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margins of Error. She won a National Magazine Award and a Pulitzer Prize in 2015 for "The Really Big One," an article about seismic risk in the Pacific Northwest. Her newest book, Lost & Found, applies that precision to the emotional earthquakes of losing her father Isaac, falling in love with her now wife Casey, and the and of life continuing on with both grief and love. We talk about the legacy of curiosity and wonder that Kathryn's father passed down to her, why the word "lost" felt the most apt to her in grief, becoming a parent without her father, and how she continues to find wonder and hope in the world.

Brittany Collin's father died of breast cancer the summer before her sophomore year of high school, Like many students who are grieving, she had educators who responded in ways that were helpful and those who didn't know what to do or say. In the end, the most supportive reactions provided ongoing opportunities to express herself and connection with adults who cared. Brittany's high school experience helped shape her educational and career choices, leading her to becom an author, educator, and curriculum designer. Her work focuses on supporting teachers and students' social and emotional well-being, especially in times of adversity. Her new book, Learning from Loss, A Trauma-Informed Approach to Supporting Grieving Students is the culmination of this work. Follow Brittany on IG @griefresponsiveteaching & Twitter @brcollins27

When Sal and Im first met at a grief support group, they connected on being young, motherless, and feeling alone in their grief. From that initial meeting they went on to start the Good Mourning podcast as a way to decrease that loneliness. In our conversation we talk about: - Sal approaching the anniversary of the last time she saw her mother in person. - What it's meant to Im that her mother died of suicide. - How hosting Good Mourning has changed them and their understanding of grief. - Different grieving styles. - What's irritating about grief. - What helps. Be sure to visit their website to learn more and listen to Good Mourning wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow them on IG @goodmourningpodcast.

In 2016, when they were in their late twenties, Janine Kwoh's partner died. Nap's death launched her into a new world of grief. Janine was the first person in her peer group to have a partner die and she felt confused and isolated. Because we live in a world that judges relationships against external markers like engagement, marriage, parenting, and co-ownership, Janine questioned whether the intensity of her grief was valid. In the five years since Nap's death, Janine examined her emotions and reactions through the lens of her artistry. This culminated in her new book, Welcome to the Grief Club, an illustrated mix of reflections and insights on grief and loss and joy and love. Janine Kwoh is also the owner and designer of Kwohtations, a stationery company and design studio. Topics we cover: Dating again after a partner dies. Dealing with anxiety that someone else will die. Allowing for the intensity of grief. Building your life out around grief. Rage at the Target checkout. Being okay with having joy and love again.

TJ Jackson had just gotten his driver's license as a teenager when his mother, Dee Dee Jackson, was murdered. Almost three decades later, TJ and his brothers Taryll & Taj, started a non-profit in her memory. The Dee Dee Jackson Foundation is dedicated to supporting others in their grief through music workshops, grief education, and their podcast Power of Love. In this episode we talk about how grief changes over time, what it was like to grieve as part of a very public family, and how becoming a father connected TJ to his grief in a new way. TJ is the son of Tito and nephew to Janet and Michael Jackson. He has a solo music career and is also part of the band 3T with his brothers Taryll & Taj. There are many ways to connect with TJ and his work: His website http://www.tjjackson.com The Dee Dee Jackson Foundationhttps://www.ddjf.org/ The Family Ruleshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1IurH9xo7Y36t_IHt0TWtw Instagram@TJJackson9 @DeeDeeJacksonFoundation @TheFamilyRules

Anne Moss Rogers never imagined she would dedicate her working life to reducing suicide risk and supporting those grieving a death by suicide. She first came to this work in search of answers after her son Charles died of suicide in 2015. Most recently, her focus has been on helping teachers and school adminstrators respond when a student is struggling with thoughts of suicide. Part of that focus is also on postvention - the steps schools can take to supporting their community when a student or teacher dies of suicide. Anne Moss is co-author of the new book, Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk. Visit Anne Moss Roger's website to learn more. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out for help. Text HOME to 741741 Call 1-800-273-8255 24/7 The Trevor Project hotline for LGBTQIA youth: 1.866.488.7386. Therapy for Black Girls

In the last of our three-part series on Grief & Money, we explore how fears about financial stability can be part of grief. When she was 13 and her father died of a heart attack, Shannon already had a narrative of insecurity when it came to her family and money. Even though they had access to more resources after her father died, this narrative just grew stronger. This legacy of financial fear continues to shadow Shannon, even as an adult living in a secure two income household. We discuss grief, money, and the importance of talking openly about finances and security with children and teens when someone in their family dies. Big thanks to InRoads Credit Union for sponsoring this series on Grief & Money. InRoads is here for you. Shannon mentions her friend Nicole who is a Death Worker - learn more about her work here & on Instagram @emeraldawakenings

Growing up, Katie C. Reilly, hadn't thought much about grief or mental health. Then, within the span of four years, Katie's mother died of ALS and her father died of cancer. This grief sent her spinning. As a journalist and writer, Katie turned to research as a way to better understand her own experience. In this conversation we delve into being a parentless parent, grieving a miscarriage, and how complex relationships can shape our grief. Follow Katie on Twitter and her website. Kaite's article on the first year of parenting parentless.

When our favorite person dies, our entire world gets up-ended. That person was often the planet in our galaxy that all the other planets and moons orbited. For Dr. Julie Shaw that person was her big sister, Jennifer. Jennifer died of Lupus in February of 2020. In the months that followed, Dr. Shaw realized how important it is for people to have acknowledgment and connection in their grief. So, she started Hello, I'm Grieving, a social media account focused on bringing more visibility and awareness to grief. In our conversation we talk about: How grief changes our family dynamics What it means when your favorite person dies. The interplay of grief and Dr. Shaw's work as an equity & inclusion consultant. The impact of Hello, I'm Grieving. How to be present for others while carring your own grief. Navigating the grief of infertility. Follow Dr. Julie Shaw and Hello, I'm Grieving on Instagram, Facebook, and online.

This is the second episode in our three-part Grief & Money series. We don't get through life without grief and we also can't get through life without dealing with money. Jessica was in her early twenties when she became a full-time caregiver for her mother who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. At the same time, Jessica was traveling to Colombia to care for her father who had Alzheimer's. After her parents died just three months apart, Jessica assumed responsibility for their finances. All while navigating the intense shock and heartbreak of their deaths. This series is sponsored by InRoads Credit Union. InRoads is here for you.

Paula Becker is a writer, so when her son Hunter was killed in 2017, she searched for help in the pages of books. What she found were books heavy with text. The problem was her grief made it impossible to concentrate on that text. She recently published A Little Book of Self-Care for Those Who Grieve - the book she most wished she had in those first days, weeks, and months after Hunter died. Paula was a guest back on Episode 148 - Wrongful Death - A Grieving Mother's Story. Visit Paula's website to learn more about her work.

Jelani Memory is the co-founder of A Kids Company About, which publishes books for kids about important topics like anxiety, empathy, racism, body image, and more. These are conversations kids are ready to have, often long before the adults in their lives feel prepared to have them. That's where A Kids Company About comes in with books that help adults and kids navigate these complex concepts. We are excited to announce that Dougy Center and A Kids Company About collaborated on their latest publication, A Kids Book About Grief. It's authored by Dougy Center's Executive Director, Brennan Wood, who writes directly to kids about what she learned about grief when her mom died just after Brennan's 12th birthday. Learn more about A Kids Company About and their entire library of books for kids and the adults who care about them.

When Jeff Porter's wife Claire died of an aneurysm, his world imploded. As he spent time with her in the hospital and started to wander that imploded world after she died, he talked to her, carrying on a conversation they had shared for 27 years. He also started writing and analyzing his experience with grief. This writing led to the publication of his newest book, Planet Claire: Suite for Cello and Sad-Eyed Lovers. Visit Jeff's website Learn more about Planet Claire

Reid Peterson, MA, recently launched Grief Refuge, an app that enable users to access daily grief support, when and where it's most convenient for them. Reid came to this work through his personal experience of grieving the deaths of his step-father and biological father. At a time when many of us both love and hate the digital world, Grief Refuge, makes support more accessible and grief a little less lonely, no matter where you live or where you are in your grief. Learn more and download the Grief Refuge app. Follow Reid and Grief Refuge on Facebook and Instagram. If you or someone you care about is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please reach out for help. Text HELLO to 741-741 or call 1-800-273-8255 (24/7).

While will all experience some type of grief before we die, the prevalence of loss and how the world responds to our grief are shaped by racism, classism, homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of oppression. Lamya Broussard, MSS, MLSP, School & Community Services Clinician at Uplift Center for Grieving Children works directly with justice involved and queer & trans youth who are also grieving. Lamya shares what she's learned about the need for culturally and community specific grief support, what it was like to do this work during the pandemic and how her personal experiences with loss play a role in her work. Resources Lamya references: Uplift Center for Grieving Children Philly HopeLine – 1-833-PHL-HOPE (1-833-745-4673) Queer & Trans Youth Hours: Tuesdays, 1 – 4 pm & Thursdays, 4 – 8 pm Grief Out Loud Episode with Dr. Tashel Bordere The Trevor Project The Trevor Project Hotlines 1-866-488-7386 or text "Start" to 678-678 The Attic Youth Center The Bryson Institute

This is the first episode in our three-part Grief & Money series. We don't get through life without grief. We also can't get through life without dealing with money. For Robert Pardi, when his wife Desiree died of cancer, he was umoored. He was also left with significant medical bills. He returned to his career in finance just long enough to pay off the debt before radically changing his life. He packed a bag, moved to Italy, and started a new career as a life coach and author. His book, Chasing Life, The Remarkable True Story of Love, Joy, and Achievement Against All Odds was published earlier this year. Visit Robert's website and read more about Desiree's life & career. This series is sponsored by InRoads Credit Union. InRoads is here for you.