Good Girls Talk About Sex

People typically talk about an absence of sex as something gone wrong, followed by an array of advice to spice up, fix, rekindle, reboot, top down, bottoms up, laugh, cry, and eventually achieve perfect sex. But what if your life feels pretty perfect without it? Kristen grew up in Purity Culture, so her lack of interest in dating was a plus as a teenager. But when she became an adult and still wasn't interested in dating, it became clear that something else was going on. Kristen eventually realized that she is asexual - a person who has little to no interest in sex. Kristen joins us to talk about her experience of asexuality, how it differs from aromanticism and demisexuality, and what she is and isn't interested in for potential future relationships. Kristen is a 36-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, asexual, demiromantic, and she grew up in the Baptist church. She's currently single and describes her body as chonky. Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/romance-and-sx-arent-the-same-thing-kristen Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Talk about coming full circle: when your friends-with-benefits from age 12 comes back around to become your life partner and literally make your deepest taboo fantasies come true. Rachel shares how she started kissing in daycare, experimented sexually in her teens, tried marriage and polyamory, learning BDSM and psychedelically-enhanced role playing along the way. Rachel is a 38-year-old, cisgender female who describes herself as white, pansexual, monogamish, and partnered. She describes her body as very curvy or fat, depending on the person she's talking to. Thanks to our episode sponsor: Dipsea Stories – go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a FREE 30-day trial! Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/he-brought-handcuffs--blindfold-on-our-1st-date---rachel Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Rain Dove grew up with a birth certificate that listed gender as "F." For much of their life, they imagined that "F" stood for "Failure" to be properly "Female." Today Rain is a gender-bending model who walks runways for designers of both masculine- and feminine-coded clothing. Rain is also an activist working to make the world better for people of all genders, orientations, and more. Rain is currently assisting vulnerable people to escape Ukraine. What if gender is not just about genitals, but what we want from the world? In this episode, Rain explains what Gender Capitalism means and shares personal stories about how relationship dynamics and power can be fluid and chosen too. Rain is 32 years old and white. You'll hear that Rain speaks differently than many people because Rain eschews most types of categorization. When I asked what their gender identity is and what pronouns they use, they said, "I am I. You can call me with whatever language feels comfortable, but the most respectful thing is to just calm by my name." When I asked what their sexual orientation is, they said, "I love who I love. I lust who I lust, and I fuck who I fuck consensually." Their preferred relationship dynamic is open and communicative and tailored to the people who are in it at the time. Rain is partnered, grew up in a Christian home, and describes their body as tall and moderately muscular. To support Rain's work evacuating vulnerable and marginalized people from Ukraine, visit www.safebow.org. This episode is sponsored by Beducated Get a free trial PLUS lock in a rate that's 65% off FOREVER! Use the coupon code GOODGIRLSTALK. Sign up at: http://beducate.me/pd2208-goodgirlstalk Full show notes at https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/i-trained-to-be-a-dominatrix---rain-dove Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

In this episode, I talk about what's been going on and where I've been. Then, we take a deep dive into a question from Reddit about whether not saying "no" is the same as assault. Thank you to our episode sponsor: Beducated - Get a free trial PLUS lock in a rate that's 65% off FOREVER! Use the coupon code GOODGIRLSTALK. Sign up at: http://beducate.me/pd2208-goodgirlstalk For full show notes and transcript go to: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/he-pinned-me-down-and-fingered-me Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Having trouble loving your body? In our culture that's normal, no matter your shape or size. In a special crossover episode, Leah talks with Rachael and Kelsea on the Thick Thighs Save Lives podcast about how public nudity experiences along her journey sexual awakening transformed her understanding about what kinds of bodies are lovable. She gives tips on how to feel better naked, tune into what you want, and communicate it to your partner. Thanks to our episode sponsor: Kindra – try Kindra at www.ourkindra.com using code goodgirls20 for 20% off your first purchase. Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/thick-thighs-save-lives---leah/ Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Did you know when you say "I feel fat" it's actually code for something much deeper? In a special crossover episode, Leah talks with Kate and Haje on the Human Awareness podcast about body image and how many of us feel our personal worth is defined by how our body looks; how we think once we deal with body image issues they should be done and never recur; and how she learned to overcome numbness related to sexual touch. Episode sponsors: Dipsea Stories – go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a 30-day FREE trial! Kindra – try out Kindra at www.ourkindra.com using code goodgirls20 for 20% off your first purchase. Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/fat-is-not-a-feeling-hai/ Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

What happens when you discover the reason you've never been interested in sex is that you've been having the wrong kind of sex for your body? And that the mismatch at the root of your loving-but-sexless marriage is that your spouse doesn't want that kind of sex? Michelle, one of our most popular guests from the past, returns to talk about what has happened over the last two years, including beginning a domme/sub relationship with another woman. Michelle is a 44-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as Black, bisexual and homo-romantic. She describes her body as average. She is married and currently navigating the process of opening her 19 year relationship with her wife to become ethically non-monogamous. Being queer Being homoromantic BDSM/activities/toys Switching dom/sub Non-monogamy Sub space/after care Thank you to our episode sponsors: Kindra – try out Kindra at www.ourkindra.com using code goodgirls20 for 20% off your first purchase. Planned Parenthood Direct – download the app to get convenient and affordable birth control delivered to your door: http://www.ppdirect.app/api/safelink?name=inf_leahcarey_1121 To sign up for notification when it's available in your state, go to: www.plannedparenthooddirect.org Glossary and full show notes at: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/what-if-the-one-isnt-enough---michelle/ Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Surprise! It's a bonus episode! Leah shares how she became a featured guest on the #1 sex and relationship advice podcast, and why it is such a big deal for her. Savage Lovecast episode - https://savage.love/lovecast/2022/01/04/a-study-of-hypno-porn/ Full show notes - https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/how-i-ended-up-on-dan-savages-podcast/ Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

How can kink un-kink you? Cate is a sex educator who discovered for themselves that kink can be therapy for chronic pain, emotional overwhelm, and neurodivergent patterns. Cate shares how they manage being ADHD, demisexual, non-monogamous, and pansexual, after surviving growing up Catholic. If you spend time thinking about gaming, fruit snacks, or ADHD you may already know Cate. You can find them on Twitch, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and more under the handle Catieosaurus. Thank you to our episode sponsors: Dipsea Stories – go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a 30-day FREE trial! Kindra – try Kindra at www.ourkindra.com using code goodgirls20 for 20% off your first purchase. Planned Parenthood Direct – download the app to get convenient and affordable birth control delivered to your door: http://www.ppdirect.app/api/safelink?name=inf_leahcarey_1121 To sign up for notification when it's available in your state, go to: www.plannedparenthooddirect.org For full show notes go to https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/adhd-and-your-orgasm-cate/ Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Whether it's secretly watching our parents' porn or uninformative Sex Ed, most of us get inadequate information about sex. Liz learned to pleasure herself early on, then followed her instincts about who to kiss and when to have sex for the first time. The same inner compass led her to leave two marriages and advocate for her libido. Liz is a 44-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, pansexual (with a strong heterosexual lean), probably monogamous, and mid-divorce. She has one child and is post-hysterectomy. She said hormonally she's probably perimenopausal, and her body is very curvy. Sex with a full bladder Bisexual dating during high school Abusive marriages Porn use vs porn addiction Decreased libido Aromantic Thank you to our sponsors for this episode: Dipsea Stories – go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a 30-day FREE trial! Planned Parenthood Direct – download the app to get convenient and affordable birth control delivered to your door: http://www.ppdirect.app/api/safelink?name=inf_leahcarey_1121 To sign up for notification when it's available in your state, go to: www.plannedparenthooddirect.org Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Is it normal to want dating without hook-ups? And what if you don't even know who you want to date? When you're on the asexual spectrum with bisexual attractions, it can be confusing to chart desire and create a relationship that works for you. Alice from South Africa talks about having very little sex education and a low sex drive, but still finding her way. Alice is a 23-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, and single. She's not sure how to define her sexual orientation yet (though it's probably not straight), and she's probably monogamous, but clarified "I'm only 23 years old, so who knows?" She grew up in South Africa and describes her body as thin. Asexuality Demi-sexuality Lack of Sex Education Consent Sexual orientation What is "queer enough"? Does virginity matter Thank you to our sponsors for this episode: Planned Parenthood Direct – download the app to get convenient and affordable birth control delivered to your door: http://www.ppdirect.app/api/safelink?name=inf_leahcarey_1121 To sign up for notification when it's available in your state, go to: www.plannedparenthooddirect.org Kindra – try out Kindra at www.ourkindra.com using code goodgirls20 for 20% off your first purchase. Full show notes at https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/am-i-asexual-if-i-still-want-to-kiss-people-alice/ Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

How do you know you're queer if you don't even know that's an option? It's hard to imagine what we can't see. Julia takes us through confusing early fantasies to landing that first girl-kiss to realizing what it means to love people with vaginas in all their gender presentations. Now she wants to start exploring anal play. Julia is a 27-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as white, queer, monogamous, and she doesn't have kids. She still gets a regular period and describes her body as tall and thin. Julia has a non-binary partner, so we get to talk about how she navigates her partner's gender dysphoria. Dating a non-binary partner Navigating dysmorphia Early fantasies Voyeurism and exhibitionism Queer/pansexual identity in the bedroom Losing lesbian virginity Learning what you like Butt stuff—how to start exploring anal play The Lowdown: favorite sex toys, strap-on penetration, clit stimulation, masturbation Thank you to our sponsors for this episode: Planned Parenthood Direct - download the app to get convenient and affordable birth control delivered to your door: http://www.ppdirect.app/api/safelink?name=inf_leahcarey_1121 To sign up for notification when it's available in your state, go to: www.plannedparenthooddirect.org Dipsea Stories - go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a 30-day FREE trial! Full show notes available at: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/exploring-anal-play-julia/ Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

What happens when a girl grows up in purity culture and gets married to the first boy who pays attention to her, just so she can have sex? Is purity culture religious abuse? In this episode we hear that story from Gabby. She is a 34-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, straight but open to exploring, currently non-monogamous with three recurring partners. She has two sons, is pre-menopausal, and describes her body as curvy. Bookmark topics: Gabby grew up in purity culture, signed a no-sex contracts in childhood, and discusses "courting" vs dating Gabby's husband had a sudden and seemingly permanent decrease in libido If he's turned off by my genitals, is he gay? Since leaving the church, Gabby's life has changed dramatically, including dating during COVID and exploring polyamory We explore parenting while polyamorous The Lowdown: Gabby answers questions about number of partners, dating different races, sex toys, anal, oral, and choking Thank you to our sponsors for this episode: PLANNED PARENTHOOD DIRECT: click here to download the app to get convenient and affordable birth control delivered to your door: http://www.ppdirect.app/api/safelink?name=inf_leahcarey_1121 To sign up for notification when it's available in your state, go to: www.plannedparenthooddirect.org Full show notes at: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/my-vagina-was-dry-as-a-bone-gabby/ Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Joy talks about taboo territory like incest porn, being HSV-2 positive, and trying out "water sports." She has early memories of non-consensual experiences, which led to weak boundaries and a tendency towards dissociation and passivity. A hysterectomy and genital changes further changed her body and libido. She's always enjoyed masturbation and has been unpartnered for some time; she's ready to explore again. Joy is a 44-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, monogamous, bisexual. She is post-menopausal and has had ovarian cancer and a full hysterectomy. She describes her body as pear-shaped and wears hearing aids. Joy shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, cuddling with a pillow between her legs and then starting a relationship with her bathtub. Joy lost her virginity at age 14; she considers herself to have given consent but she also knows she dissociated, and remembers staring at a blooming tree out the window. There were indications of earlier trauma. She talks about a girlfriend she sometimes fooled around with, and a series of physical interactions in which she was not fully present and struggled with boundaries. Joy comes out to her father as bisexual. She finally experiences pleasure with a sort of friend who offers benefits. She feels passive at the beginning, but then she starts to really enjoy the sex. The relationship ends, and she has a few hookups. Unfortunately, she contracts herpes after one exchange. She opens up about how she managed it in subsequent relationships; she has both disclosed her status, and not disclosed her status. It's a hard conversation. Her most recent past relationship was pretty vanilla. The longer one before involved some kink exploration, including "water sports." She has a long-distance relationship with an older man; it doesn't end well. There hasn't been anyone since, just frequent masturbation. She'd been content alone until listening to the podcast and starting to wonder. Joy went through ovarian cancer a few years ago and she had to have a full hysterectomy. She talks about how it has impacted her body. One of the things she experienced was genital restructuring. Her orgasms and arousal have changed. They talk about how to be more present in one's body. Resources: Sensational Body Scan - https://www.leahcarey.com/downloads/sensational-body-scan/ Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Brenda grew up in a "sex silent" household and transitioned right into purity culture. For a naturally highly sexual person, this spelled dysfunction and disaster. She found her way out of abuse and repression, went through a period of intense exploration, and she is now an advocate and educator for other survivors of religious trauma. She shares her truth publicly and celebrates all of her experiences—even the "dark" ones, as they have anchored her learning along the healing journey. Brenda Marie Davies is a 37-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as bisexual, open-minded, and single. She describes her body as slim. Book: On Her Knees: Memoir of a Prayerful Jezebel Website: www.godisgrey.com YouTube: www.youtube.com/godisgrey THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR FOR THIS EPISODE: *** DIPSEA STORIES: go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a 30-day FREE trial! Full show notes at: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/the-evangelical-church-stunted-my-sexuality-brenda-marie-davies/ Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Kay is our youngest guest yet, and she lets us in on how her generation is exploring sex differently because they're the first with easy access to p*rn. She has dated people of multiple genders, and realized she loves all bodies. Despite her young age, Kay has already learned hard lessons about toxic relationships, trust, and consent. Kay is an 18-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as Black, pansexual, monogamous, and in a relationship. She grew up Catholic and describes her body as full. Bookmark moments: Kay shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, when her peers in 6th grade were watching porn. It was her closest thing to a learning experience before trying things like handjobs and blowjobs. Kay "sort of" came out as bi in 7th grade, and then discovered she liked trans people too. She went to a Catholic school with genders separated and describes girls kissing in class. As they get older, school culture turns anti-gay. Sex Ed in school was brief biology, everything she already knew. Her first kiss was a dare on IG live with her best friend. It becomes her first relationship, which has its struggles. Kay talks about suicidal thoughts that both she and her girlfriend worked through. Kay lives with her mom; her mom found out about her dating girls after seeing her phone but didn't take issue with it. Kay wishes for more open conversation around sex. She meets a boy. He's not a friend first, and after the honeymoon phase it doesn't go well, but lasts for two toxic years. He verbally abuses her about her appearance and cheats on her. Kay describes a painful loss of virginity experience. Our culture says this is normal, but Leah does some myth-busting on what is actually normal and how this experience can and should go down. Kay talks about her current relationship. She's had her first orgasm! But sometimes he doesn't stop when she tells him to. This includes unwanted touching. They talk about how Kay's generation is the first with easy access to porn, and what messages are being gleaned. They talk about masturbation. Kay started around 4th The Lowdown: Kay answers questions about sex during periods, STI's, birth control, number of sex partners, dating outside your race, toys, positions, initiating sex, being active vs passive, clit stimulation vs penetration, breast play, achieving and faking orgasms, solo vs partnered sex, kinds of touch, rough play, safety protocols specific to choking, one's partner masturbating alone or watching porn alone, blowjobs, swallowing, hair vs bare, group sex, ass play, kink desires, dirty talk, laughter, confusing sexual urges, favorite body part, least favorite body part, areas to improve sex life, and correcting old beliefs. Resources: Feminist porn – PLEASE PAY FOR YOUR PORN! pinklabel.tv brightdesire.com AbbyWinters.com CrashPadSeries.com Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Caz is an open book with a ton of chapters: a non-binary disability advocate kink-loving trauma survivor pain/pleasure early wayfinder who left live sex shows for the dating apps. The extraordinary roads they had to navigate led them to know themselves intimately, and helped them learn to accept, manage, and finally enjoy bodily pain. Caz is a 40-year-old, non-binary person who was assigned female at birth. They describe themselves as queer, non-monogamous and single. They've had a hysterectomy, so they no longer have a period but believe that hormonally they are probably peri-menopausal. They grew up in the United States and describe their body as curvy. Caz is a disability activist, and is particularly involved in education around sexuality for people with disabilities, including kink activities. You can find them on Instagram at www.instagram.com/cazkilljoy Caz shares an early memory of sexual pleasure, when they caught masturbating in the living room around age 4-5. They were quickly escorted to their bedroom and the behavior was not encouraged. Caz has their first sexually partnered experience at age 13-14 which is mostly positive, but it triggers memories of early molestation. They seek therapy, learn how to navigate clitoral sensitivity, and treat numbness. Caz shares the outline of their medical issues. It started at age 21, when their legs were being held back while being fisted, causing lasting injury that spawned serious compound issues. The pleasure/pain balance leads to their interest in kink. Navigating the pain itself becomes a factor. They find themselves in an abusive relationship, and then a libido-mismatched rebound. Caz talks about learning how to orgasm while weaning off Effexor. Caz shares that the bent toward kink has been lifelong, and describes a childhood fantasy with masturbation taskmasters. They describe early kink explorations, pain/pleasure antecedents in self-harm, and using that as an emotional management strategy. They transition into BDSM as an avenue of positive personal control. Self-education starts in an alcove at Border's Books. Caz talks about early same-sex interactions; some of them were non-consensual. The first consensual one was in their early 20's. They knew something was "off" about their gender and felt most comfortable in drag. Caz opens up about non-binary dating, and what life and sex look like today. They have a long-term friend with benefits with whom they became pandemic partners and have recently returned to the apps. Caz talks about accessibility and kink spaces. The Lowdown: Caz answers rapid-fire questions about period sex while, number of partners, race, toys, positions, re-naming reverse cowgirl, initiating sex, being active vs passive, clit stimulation vs penetration, physical therapy, breast/chest play, orgasming from penetration vs masturbating, preferred kind of touch, hard red lines, forced orgasm edging, porn use, making porn, live sex shows, Onlyfans, hair vs bare, group sex, giving oral sex, swallowing, receiving oral, smell and taste, ass play, kink limits, dirty talk, laughter, confusing sexual urges, favorite body parts, least favorite, getting more oral, and advice to one's former self. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Tori grew up in a church that preached purity culture, which mostly taught her what she didn't want—a life with far more shame than sex, compounded by firmly fixed instructions around gender. She followed her pleasure down roads less traditionally traveled and created polyamorous and non-monogamous relationships with people across the gender spectrum. It works for her, her partners, and the children for whom she wants to make a better, healthier world. Tori is 37-years-old. She describes herself as Black, pansexual and polyamorous. She has a partner who she lives with, plus she's in a relationship with another couple. In terms of gender, she uses the she/her pronouns, but said, "Gender and I are not on speaking terms." We talk about that in our conversation. She grew up in Evangelical purity culture. You can find Tori at: Website - www.ToriGlass.com Instagram - ToriGlass Twitter - ToriGlass Bookmark moments: Tori shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, sitting in her homeschool desk at age 7 or 8 and rubbing herself over her jeans. In purity culture, "everything that feels good is bad." Tori talks about growing up in purity culture, how it never fit her, and how it spectacularly failed to prevent sexual activity for her and her peers. She moves in with a boyfriend to the horror of her parents, with whom she is no longer in contact. Tori talks about leaving the church as it became increasingly abusive towards its members. She wants to raise them differently than how she was raised. Leaving the church (and her husband) allows her to explore her attraction to other people and other genders. Tori gets into more detail about her complicated relationship with gender. Tori spells out what being a-romantic means to her and how she separates romance from intimacy from sex. She opens up about her current live-in partner, how that configures with their other relationships, and what polyamory/ethical non-monogamy means for them. She talks about her relationship with a couple who met each other via her Twitter. The Lowdown - Tori answers questions about period sex, number of partners, sex with someone of a different race, sex toys, sex positions, initiating sex, clit stimulation vs penetration, breast play, achieving orgasm, faking it, solo orgasms vs partnered, kind of touch, nipple sucking, hard red lines, hair vs bare, giving and receiving oral, swallowing, taste and smell, dirty talk, laughter, and childhood beliefs about sex. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Tammy is a listener-turned-guest who takes us into her American Jewish culture and shares how that shaped her early experiences around sex and marriage, and led her into situations that were unhealthy and downright dangerous. She dedicated herself repeatedly to making a better life for herself and her children—a life that hopefully includes serious sexual satisfaction and positive role-modeling for her children. Tammy is a 33-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as white, Jewish, and has two kids. She and her husband are married by Jewish law but not legally. She is currently monogamous, but may be open to exploring other options in the future. She describes her body as an hourglass figure with a few extra pounds. THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR FOR THIS EPISODE: *** DIPSEA STORIES: Go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a 30-day FREE trial! Bookmark moments: Tammy shares her first memory of sexual desire, playing with the showerhead at around age 11-12 and finding her mother's vibrator. She did not witness affection between her parents. She talks about how growing up in a Jewish family impacted her views on sexuality. Tammy decides to leave school and get her GED to get out from under her controlling mother. She goes to live with her grandparents who aren't much better, and she turns to Yahoo groups to get access to dating and boys. You guessed it: catfish. She gives in and sees the guy, then goes into a panic when she realizes how in over her head she is. The incident turns into a memory blackout. Tammy talks about her first husband, and how her community taught (or not) young virgin wives about sex and its place within Jewish law. She opens up about the first time her husband displayed violent tendencies, and she chose to leave with her infant daughter. She tries to find her way into more mainstream culture for dating. She meets a guy she knows is wrong. A honeymoon in Vegas ends in annulment and another baby. Tammy talks about dating while pregnant, and then as a young mother. Tammy meets someone different, and she gets her first taste of bad boy attraction. It ends, and she finds herself running a divorcee dating network. She meets someone different again, this time "nerdy." He seems like a good guy and they get engaged, but there's a porn addiction. They both start 12-step meetings. Leah talks about porn use vs porn addiction. Tammy shares how her body image was negatively impacted by the porn, how her withdrawal and her husband's waning interest stalled their sex life, and how he failed to stay off porn. She started listening to this podcast and thinking maybe there could be more, her hopes for the future, and how she wants to raise her kids to be open and have positive models. The Lowdown - Tammy answers questions about sex on her period, partners, toys, positions, clit stimulation vs penetration, achieving and/or faking orgasm, touch, building up pleasure, older men, masturbation, hair vs bare, 3-ways, blowjobs, receiving oral, smell and taste, breast play, ass play, dirty talk, laughter, confusing sexual urges, body parts, fantasies, and more. Resources: Tracy's Dog – Tammy's favorite toy! https://www.tracysdog.com/collections/best-sellers/products/2-in-1-g-spot-vibrator-with-clitoral-sucking Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) - https://coda.org Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACoA) - https://adultchildren.org Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

It's our 100th episode!!!!! Ar Blia is a listener-turned-guest who has been untangling early experiences of trauma, limiting cultural beliefs, and confusing desires to first explore and then advocate for her own pleasure. Even within the constricts of a conservative community, she has been able to find adventure, find herself, and find a partner who truly works for her. Ar Blia is a 27-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as straight, monogamous, and partnered with her boyfriend of five years. She describes her body as average (though by white American standards many of us would probably consider her petite.) Bookmark moments: Ar Blia shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, at age 4-5, being aware of a pleasant tickle-ish sensation "down there" with a soapy touch. She innocently explores herself in the open until her father makes fun of her. Ar Blia talks about her culture's views on sex and marriage and how that impacted her while growing up. She talks about her first boyfriend, with whom she planned to wait until marriage despite the copious sexual tension. Ar Blia shares how some aspects of her culture and how they impacted her attractions and actions. Ar Blia learns to make her personality smaller to accommodate her boyfriend, slowly losing herself over four years. She talks about how her current boyfriend helped her see what had happened. She shares how she met her current boyfriend, who happily pushes her up against walls. She discusses how virginity is prized in her culture and how she navigated that with the second boyfriend. She further details how her culture shaped this relationship with regard to age and expectations. Ar Blia opens up about her struggles with body image. Ar Blia discusses how she and her boyfriend found their way to pleasure reciprocity, and how they subsequently navigated a time of decreased libido. She ties the decreased libido back to earlier culturally-informed traumas around non-consensual sexual touch. She recalls the two episodes, and talks about present-day impacts on having her breasts touched. Ar Blia says listening to episodes of this podcast has helped her process what had happened, and get to a good place with her boyfriend now. The Lowdown: Ar Blia answers questions about having sex on her period, sex partners and race, sex toys, positions, clit stimulation vs penetration, breast play, getting to orgasm/faking it, kinds of touch, hard red lines, anal play, porn (and discovering her father's stash with her siblings), hair vs bare, group sex, oral sex, kink, role playing, dirty talk, uncomfortable desires, body image, and changing beliefs. Leah and Ar Blia talk out being submissive in the bedroom vs in life, and the possibility of 3-way explorations. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Karin talks about living with cerebral palsy and how she shows up in her own life and on Instagram. Early in her life, she struggled with hating her body, and had to work to get to place where she could see her body as worthy of experiencing pleasure. She had a brief storybook romance with a young man who also had CP. She is frank about planning, logistics, and how things like choice and vulnerability show up differently for her than for able-bodied people. Karin is a 30-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, queer, monogamous, and dating. She has cerebral palsy and a mental health disability, and has previously had an eating disorder. She describes her body as fat. You can find Karin on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/khitselberger and at her website at https://www.claimingcrip.com. Karin starts sharing by speaking to the hard parts: being fetishized, or "something to try," rather than a sexual whole person. Karin has her first experience with sexual pleasure in her 20's when she starts dating. They Skype about disability justice and he tells her how pretty she is. It's beautiful and has a lasting impact, but is also brief and ends tragically. Karin has cerebral palsy; she didn't explore her own body sexually while growing up. She became Christian in college; her takeaway is that Jesus would love people where they're at, and this gives her hope and space for a relationship. Karin talks about where agency and choice reside for her, and about the level of trust required for intimacy. She circles back to the story of her first kiss. After losing her first boyfriend, Karin opens the door to her attraction to women. Karin shares that being disabled means talking about intimate logistics ahead of time, and that this can be fun. Karin also dealt with an eating disorder and mental health issues. She struggled early in life with hating her body, and she has worked hard to reach a place of acceptance and neutrality. A significant source of healing has been seeing her body sexually at all. She talks about how intimacy worked in her relationship, and that cultural conditioning to not advocate for her desires was compounded by her lack of knowing what she desires. Karin is currently exploring new desires around kink. She's also learned to apply consent to co-handling of her body in everyday life. She shares a story of getting her boyfriend to look up fetish porn for her PhD dissertation, and the differences between American-Puritan and European perspectives. Karin hopes to marry and have children someday. She is talking to a potential romantic partner. Leah explains sexual surrogacy. Resources: Karin's website – https://www.claimingcrip.com Karin on IG - https://www.instagram.com/khitselberger To hear more about sexual surrogacy, listen to our episode with Jocelyn - https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/episode/i-struggled-with-guilt-when-i-became-a-mother-jocelyn/ Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Chandra grew up in the 7th Day Adventist church, which she equates to a cult. She faults the church for being an educational, social, and religious system that neither acknowledges nor teaches that consent exists for women. She became (mildly) rebellious, experimented with illicit hand-holding, got married, got out, and then embarked on a season of experimentation. Chandra is a 29-year-old, cisgender female. She grew up in the 7th Day Adventist Church in the United States and describes herself as mixed race including Black, white, Chinese, and east Indian. She is bisexual, single, and has no children. She said her preferred relationship style is "honest.". She describes her body as average. Chandra shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, a generalized curiosity around age 6. Chandra talks about being raised Seventh Day Adventist, and what the conservative education around sex looked like. Nature shows were her best informer. The school taught Creationism and held a "Purity Week." She starts experimenting around age 11, but doesn't know what she's doing. Pleasure mixes with anxiety. At 12 she has a non-consensual experience that turns into a year-long power abuse dynamic. Her father clues in and moves the family away. She moves on to rebellious hand-holding with a boy at religious summer camp. Then boarding school, and marriage. Sex becomes painful as she endures emotional abuse. She lets him experiment outside the marriage. Lies end the marriage; infidelity gives her a respectable way out. An experimental phase for Chandra begins. She gets reckless. Chandra explores her bisexuality. She tracks her attraction back to age 6. Chandra shares what her current dating life looks like, and the possibility of future parenthood. The discussion turns to pleasure, then relationship styles. Chandra says her preferred style is "honest," and she finds that most often in the polyamorous community and its standard of open communication and consent. The Q&A covers period sex, interracial dating, toys, sex positions, initiating sex, roles, stimulations, orgasms, touch, hard red lines, porn, grooming, oral, squirting (PSA: buy Chucks!), dirty talk, laughter, rape fantasies, long legs, and unlearning childhood beliefs. Resources: Cult Evaded podcast - https://anchor.fm/cultevaded Clit sucking toys - https://www.google.com/search?q=clit+suction+toy Chucks - https://www.amazon.com/Disposable-Underpads-Incontinence-Absorbent-Protective/dp/B081VRG3NK Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Gina grew up as a hot babe, the kind we'd all be jealous of. It took a long journey of sexual acting out and questionable marriages for her to realize that she was both groomed to be this way, and that it's a trauma response to early assaults. Being performative, dominant, or checking out are still common ways her body responds, even though she loves her husband. She is the mother of two daughters and is committed to finding a path to sex that feels safe, and hopefully even enjoyable. Gina is a 43-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as Latina, monogamous, straight, and married. She was brought up in a Catholic home and she now has two daughters. She describes her body as average and peri-menopausal. Gina shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, rubbing herself on the corner of a piece of furniture as a child—something she now sees her own young daughters doing. She only learned as an adult that people masturbate and this is common. Gina has a repressed memory of being molested. Leah shares that you do not need to know what happened in order to heal. Gina has her first boyfriend, and first unpleasant groping. It brings up a memory of a previous unwanted, confusing fingering by a non-blood-related family member. They discuss autonomic pleasure during assault, and how deeply confusing that can be. Gina remembers feeling pleasure when she finally has consensual sex, but she knew even then to be performative. She links this to growing up, when her father encouraged her to look sexy as though that reflected positively on him and would speak inappropriately in front of her. She starts playing a dangerous game with getting herself in and out of sexual situations to reclaim control. In the middle of this she gets married at 18, he is in the military, and she has intense anxiety attacks. A double life ensues. Gina opens up about having a sexual attraction to women which coincided with an increasing disgust with the men for whom she stripped. She gets out of the bad marriage and rewrites her story with an unusual new marriage the same day of her divorce. She has loads of sexual encounters, enough to earn her a nickname; they divorce when his girlfriend gets pregnant. She meets her current husband; at the time she sees him as fresh meat to teach. She enters a period of discovering herself *without* sex and deliberately envisions who she wants to be—someone who is truthful and has intellectual coffee shop friends. Childhood trauma resurfaces as she faces a new conflict: how to enjoy sex without performing her enjoyment. 18 years into a happy marriage, she still struggles between detachment and control. Motherhood, especially touch out from breastfeeding, complicates things. Gina recognizes a need for non-sexual touch and intimacy, actual foreplay, creating safety, clear communication, and understanding her trauma responses. She shares their journey through marital therapy to recover from a rough patch and her brief infidelity. Sex-specific therapy is discussed. Trauma responses are discussed. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Danielle is a therapist who has also graduated from the school of life. Her earliest sexual experiences were non-consensual and impacted her for long after the events happened in implicit, explicit, and confusing ways. She found healing within a happy marriage, then suffered a miscarriage with its own series of impacts. She's doing well now, and still loves a Reverse Cowgirl. Danielle is a 35-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as straight, monogamous, married, and pre-menopausal. She describes her body as athletic. Bookmark moments: Danielle shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, watching Cinderella at age 4-5 and being sucked in by the "will they/won't they" and the power of the first kiss. She recalls being seeking dedicated attention and commitment, even in pre-school. She has her first kiss. It's magical until she finds out he's kissing other girls too. She meets her first bad boy – a tortured-artist type. Non-consensual intercourse occurs. A lack of "no" is not a "yes." The body can still have an autonomic pleasure response when there is abuse or coercion. Danielle talks about her first real love, her college boyfriend who is a deeply good human dude. A lot of processing of her past experiences ends up happening on his time. The Kobe Bryant assault coverage triggers her in the breakroom at work; she spontaneously recalls an assault by a group of boys at age 7. Waves of memory and pain break over her for a while. She opens up about what sex was like while she processed her trauma. She reclaims her sexuality within the safety and intimacy she finds with her husband. Danielle talks about experiencing miscarriage last year, her hopes for having children, and their marriage bed turning into a micromanagement project: how to make a baby when great sex isn't enough, and how to prevent that from spoiling the great sex. Danielle is curious about how people function in non-monogamous relationship styles and what this means about our ability to love and connect across the commitment and desire spectrums. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Christine inhabits a sexual landscape that includes orgies, bondage, non-monogamy, skilled play partners, and sex-positive parties. She talks about a surprising struggle: how dissociation and OCD impact her ability to orgasm, even while having lots of fun. Christine Wild is the host of the podcast Running Wild With Christine. She is also the author of the book "Just Bad Timing." You can find Christine at: Website - https://justbadtiming.com Podcast - anchor.fm/runningwildwithchristine Twitter - https://twitter.com/christinewild Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/christinewild_ Christine is a 29-year-old, cisgender female. She describes herself as white, bisexual, non-monogamous, and in a committed relationship. She grew up in Switzerland, spent summers in Croatia, and now lives in Canada. Christine shares her first memories of sexual pleasure, with a recurring summer house love from ages 8-15. She tells the story of losing her virginity to him. She grew up in a "prim and proper, but open" single mom household in Switzerland. Sex Ed was the usual condom and banana; there was also a kind of Planned Parenthood though. Her summer love gets a real girlfriend. From 16-18, she has a good amount of unmemorable sex before finding someone to accidentally date as a hot fuck-buddy twice her age. Christine moves to Vancouver for college and revels in new freedom. "That's when the fun really started." She racks up numbers but doesn't have her first orgasm until age 23. She talks about her first orgasm, difficulty orgasming, OCD, and how being disconnected from her body got in the way for a long time, and ironically, being emotionally drained by school and an unhealthy partnership finally overwhelmed her mind's control. Orgies! Plus non-monogamy, sex parties, BDSM, and MDMA. Christine talks about relationship agreements and navigating a committed, non-monogamous relationship which emerged from sex party play. She compartmentalizes her non-primary relationships, like the person she sees only for BDSM. Christine shares how having OCD and "high potential" shape her life and her sex life. She wants to have kids but is also concerned about how it would impact her sex life. Participation at sex parties can look like all different things, and can provide new ways to give and receive pleasure. Things she'll never do again, empowerment lessons from bondage, faking orgasms, achieving orgasms, oral, kink, smell, taste, talk, bodies, and other rapid-fire questions. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Vin goes from the prototypical good girl to a (nearly) fearless adventurer. She married young, and enjoys a positive and openly communicative sexual relationship with her husband. Vin opens up about how their initial struggle to achieve penis-in-vagina sex led her to explore erotica, kink, anal play, toys, plugs, and taboo porn, all in a curvy body. Vin is a 22-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as Indigenous, monogamous, bisexual, and married. She grew up in a Christian home and describes her body as "chunky." Vin shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, before the age of 7. Family movie night had the occasional "close your eyes!" scene, and she got curious with her pillow. Growing up, her parents demonstrated healthy affection towards each other, but there was no sex talk and her older sisters were mum on the subject. The family all find out late that the eldest sister is gay; it doesn't go over well with her religious parents. Vin has no boyfriend before her husband. Partly because she's the quintessential good girl, and partly because no one interests her. Vin struggled with her body image growing up; her parents consciously kept them from being overweight "for health reasons." Health talk can be code for fat phobia, and she's still to this day untangling her personal physical truth from this cultural fear. Vin talks about meeting her husband. After they kiss, things get moving and Vin has a fully clothed orgasm from breast play that she still remembers as a stand-out moment. Vin shares what her total lack of experience going into the marriage looked like. She'd never even used a tampon and couldn't fit her husband. He gallantly suggests a small dildo, and they take their time learning her body together. They explore anal play to assist with her vaginal difficulties. It helps! Vin opens up about the things she never knew existed and wants to try. The Yes/No/Maybe checklist was an inspiration for her, and it opens up a lot of conversation with her husband (though she wants to explore more than he does). Leah shares resources for body image and movement help for curvy or larger bodies. Vin wants to get comfortable with physical positions other than being on her back. They also discuss Literotica and how it can be used for learning and exploration as well as pleasure. Vin talks about fantasizing about women and bisexual desires, and they discuss how getting turned on by things that are taboo doesn't mean you want to do it in real life. Resources: Curvy Girl Sex - https://www.amazon.com/Curvy-Girl-Sex-Elle-Chase-ebook/dp/B01N25F4V0 Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Natalie is a 30-year-old, cisgender female who describes herself as monogamous, straight and engaged to be married. She describes her body as petite. Natalie talks about her experiences with both binge and purge eating behaviors, and how they affected her experience of sex and her body. She also talks about sometimes trading sex for lodging when she didn't have steady housing. Natalie shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, in high school. She's the middle of 7 kids and grew open in a pretty open household, though it's hard to masturbate in a bunk bed. She loses her virginity to her first "official" boyfriend, whom she connects with on MySpace. She meets her next boyfriend at the mall, and moves in with him. Her body image issues escalate and she begins to work out excessively at the 24-hr gym. She starts eliminating food to cut down on her unsustainable gym schedule; then she starts taking Adderall. Her disordered eating takes a toll on her appearance, and her physical, sexual, and mental health. Sex becomes an obligation. They break up, and she begins a period of couch-surfing. She tries to eat more, and isn't going to the gym, but she ends up purging and having to endure the associated health difficulties. Natalie talks about how she's doing in present day with the disordered eating. She credits her improvement and maintenance to her current partner, who holds her accountable for her self-care. They've been together 8 years. The sex is fantastic. She and her partner experiment with BDSM. She likes collecting slap marks on her body, but has to hide them at work. Leah and Natalie discuss safety protocols for choking. Natalie recently removed her nipple and clit piercings, and feels renewed sensation. She discusses what's on the table for her sexual future. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

I need a longer break than I anticipated, so in order to keep giving you new content, I'm releasing a handful of interviews in their uncut form. Donya started getting sexual attention very young because her body developed early. As a teenager and adult, she has experienced a wide range of relationship styles and partners. After having a child and settling into the closest thing to commitment outside of marriage, she received a breast cancer diagnosis. Donya is a 46-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as white, bisexual, monogamous, and in a committed relationship. Donya shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, finding a book of erotica at age 9 or 10 and feeling aroused in a new way—both physically and mentally, at the same time. Sex was not discussed in the home; her parents divorced and her mother remarried a closed-off man. She finds her mom's secret copy of "The Joy of Sex" at some point. Donya talks about being both busty and a dancer and receiving sexual attention from an early teen age. It's an early experience of power and pleasure—especially at youth group. Dry humping becomes a favorite activity. Sex itself is fairly disappointing early on; Donya learns to exercise the power dynamic between using the appeal she has to get attention and wanting to go slow to actually find pleasure. Donya finally experiences a lover who is devoted to her pleasure. As part of the Society for Creative Anachronism, she tries to navigate the community's culture of non-monogamy. Donya talks about the end of her primary poly relationship: yes, you can be poly and still cheat. Donya shares how she came out as bisexual and began to experiment, up to the point of marrying a "Santa Cruz lesbian" and seeing the inside of man-bashing culture. Donya catches us up on her current long-term monogamous male partner, with whom she has a child. They've been together 8 years and have a fully committed life; at first neither want to mess with marriage again, but it's now on the table. Childbearing (and specifically vaginal birth) impacts her sexuality. So does being a mother to a young child, and the parenting style choices they make. Donya experiences a series of illnesses, and is diagnosed with breast cancer. She and her partner go through periods of separation. They've gotten therapy and are currently together. She talks about the details of her breast cancer journey. She feels like her body let her down, and fears bad sex in forced menopause. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

I told you I'd drop something fun into your feed while I'm on break and here it is! A couple days ago, I had a conversation with my friend Stefanie Michele on Instagram Live. Stefanie is an Intuitive Eating coach who helps people break out of the binge and restrict patterns of disordered eating. We talked about the intersection of body image and sex – believing our partner actually loves our body, rather than just tolerating it. If I'm not comfortable being naked in front of my partner? How do I get over the feeling that people would only be interested in me if I were more attractive? And more. You can find Stefanie on Instagram @IAmStefanieMichele. I'll be back with an all new interview episode next week! Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Hope is trapped in a sexually repressive, emotionally abusive marriage shaped by the patriarchal traditions and relationship culture of her country of origin. With awareness comes healing, and she hopes to spread the message to other women that they are allowed to speak up, deserving of basic decency, and even worthy of real love. Hope is a 38-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as Pakistani, Sunni Muslim, straight, married, and monogamous. She deals with polycystic ovarian syndrome and describes her body as "fluffy". Hope's first memory of sexual pleasure is, in fact, quite recent. She grew up in a conservative family and didn't think of herself as sexual aside from knowing she was straight due to "deep crushes" on boys. Conversations around sex during her teen years in Pakistan were accidental and minimal aside from a biology lesson in school, which was delivered by a no-nonsense chemistry teacher. Hope's first strong experience of sexual pull at age 18 in college is distressing to her. Hope talks about being a Sunni Muslim in Pakistan and the impact that has on what sexuality looks like in culture. Arranged marriages and matchmaking under patriarchal culture set a perfect table for relationships with toxic power dynamics, emotional repression, and lack of fulfilment. Hope describes the matchmaking experience in Pakistan. Hope meets her husband. His mother has a history of working outside the home; this is a surprise and a boon. The match is difficult though, and women do not speak up. She finds herself trapped raising children and lacking the financial independence to leave. Hope opens up about the sex in her marriage: awkward and painful. She learned from books, he learned from porn. She has only recently learned about female pleasure by exploring masturbation to release her pent-up desire. It's also a step towards self-healing. Hope talks about the future. She does not foresee another relationship, she just wishes for peace. She shares how she envisions a more open dialogue with her own children around sex and relationships, breaking a cultural and generational pattern of toxicity. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Leah answers a listener's questions about whether she has a porn addiction, and why she can't orgasm with her husband. She talks about identifying the function of porn, not taking on shame, and navigating a relationship agreement around it. Bookmark moments: "Am I normal?" A listener calls in with two inter-related questions: is it normal to be unable to orgasm through intercourse with my husband, and is it normal that I only can with porn? Leah responds to the listener. Difficulty orgasming during is a thing that many women experience. There can be physical or mental causes. How do you identify techniques that deliver pleasure if you don't know what you want or what is possible? Leah calls back to a recent share about being shamed by our partner. This creates an experience of break in trust. Is there *actually* such a thing as porn addiction? We do a fact check. Check in with how porn functions in your relationship. Is it what you need to physiologically relax? Make a relationship agreement that supports you on how to navigate it—without being responsible for your partner or making yourself small. PJ Parties for Grownups! Podcast recommendation: Title – Decide Balance Host – Yvonne Hernández Apple Podcasts description - A space where anyone of any age can decide balance in their day at anytime with a 5 minute guided bilingual (English & Spanish) meditation. Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/DecideBalance Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DecideBalance Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Charlotte's sexual journey has taken the deep bends—and openings—of the yoga she practices. She met her husband in a guru community, fled it, had two daughters, reclaimed her body, and is now exploring "high-fidelity" polyamory in several configurations. Charlotte is a 45-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, and perimenopausal with an athletic body. Her sexual orientation and preferred relationship style are under exploration, and her current relationship status is "exploring." Charlotte shares her first experience of sexual pleasure, at age 18. She talks about arousal and masturbation and exploration occurring before then, but not to the level of real pleasure. Charlotte grew up Catholic, with very little family PDA, and the most basic Sex Ed. "None of the juicy stuff." She meets the father of her children in a yoga community and has to keep the relationship a secret as they travel the world with their guru. They are forced to leave, quickly marry, and have two daughters. Charlotte opens up about sexual violation at the hands of the guru as part of the "spiritual path" she was expected to be on. She struggles for three years before it starts outweighing the good of the mission she believed in. She and her husband leave the community together and set up house. Pregnancy, motherhood, and breastfeeding take over her body and sex becomes a marital duty. She finds herself alone for the first time in 10 years when her husband takes the girls on a trip. She reunites with a college friend…with benefits. Charlotte talks about her current exploratory dating, Her sexual orientation and relationship styles vary at the moment, and include being in a non-monogamous "high-fidelity polyamory" with a super communicative yoga dude and being the girlfriend of a married couple. After spending time digging into and undoing her wounds, she is literally bathed in new love. A friend of a friend overhears Charlotte talking about her escapades at a party, and contacts her afterward to ask if she'll have sex with her husband. He turns out to be hot enough to make her nervous. Charlotte looks to the future and potentially partnering up monogamously again, as well as further pushing her sexual boundaries. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Leah shares a coaching session with Cindy, a married mother of one, for support around a very human variety of issues: decreased libido, sex after motherhood, love languages, pandemic life, sex for connection vs. conception, miscarriage, self-care, homework, and grace. Bookmark moments: Cindy talks about participating in coaching in one of Leah's group sessions, and catches us up on what life looks like (sexually and otherwise) a year into the pandemic. Stress can have varied effects on libido—up or down. Can you turn your libido back "on"? Cindy talks about what she did to try, paying more attention to her body, taking better care of it. They talk about trying to use sex to connect *as well as* conceive. Leah helps Cindy hone in on what she wants her sex life to look life. Cindy conceives but suffers a miscarriage; she opens up about the impact. Homework assignments—fun ones, of course—can be a tangible, focused way to take concrete steps towards your goal. And, sometimes the homework is giving yourself grace. Cindy gets specific about what she wants to focus on in her relationship. They speak on love languages: his is gifts, hers is acts of service. Leah helps Cindy navigate through ideas for activities. Leah talks about how coaching can help in different relationship areas and for specific interests, with group and solo options. A post-coaching update from Cindy; and a discussion about being compassionate with yourself about your fears. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Caitlin returns for a follow-up coaching session with her partner, Chris. They check in with Leah about their BDSM explorations, dom/sub dynamics, communication in and out of play sessions, aftercare, safe words, bruising, pleasure, and sourcing and trying new ideas. Caitlin and Chris catch Leah up on the new-to-them BDSM they've been exploring and what they'd like support with. They get into specifics with impact tools, paddles, riding crop, switch, etc. Chris explains how he manages and escalates the impact using a 1-10 scale and timing set to playdate playlist. Leah talks about safe-wording to help Caitlin really get into sub space and also to give Chris reassurance. The line rests in the hands of the sub. Leah also talks about non-verbal safe cues. Chris shares his progress since the start of their sexual partnership. Pleasure dynamics for the dom, and physically dominating vs verbally dominating. Chris has an easier time with one over the other and is naturally a giver, so Leah helps him find new some avenues and techniques. Making a restaurant-style command or activity menu ahead of time can help. Leah shares a few tips. Navigating voyeurism/exhibitionism, consent, and safe places to engage. The Yes/No/Maybe list is great for finding and knowing your hard red lines. It's also a good idea to revisit the list periodically. Leah shares other resources and talks about BDSM tasting events. Chris talks about finding and pushing the limits as a dom while still being careful not to hurt her. Each play session is separate and discrete; always check in fresh. Is pushing BDSM limits healthy? If you're having consensual fun, carry on. Resources mentioned: Three Minute Game Yes / No / Maybe list Literotica Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Tee is unhappily married, and unhappy with her sex life—like so many people. Also like too many, she experiences the lingering impacts of sexual assault. She's doing the work of setting boundaries, trying to provide a good example for her kids, and is still hoping someday she'll find a communicative and loving partner. Tee shares her first memory of sexual pleasure around age 16, having an electrifying first kiss with an annoying boy. Tee talks about growing up in a conservative Baptist congregation, then opens up about seeing her parents' marital difficulties and the lingering impacts that has had on her relationships even to present day. She is aware of the impact of spousal/parental yelling on her own kids. Tee is a masturbation late-bloomer. She felt behind her peers growing up, in all sexual matters. She loses her virginity and discovered that too much size matters. Her next lover takes his time and explains things. Tee talks about body image, being a tall woman. A month after she gets engaged, Tee discovers she is pregnant. She miscarries at 5 months. The relationship doesn't survive. She bumps into a childhood friend. Tee delves into the downturn in their sexual relationship. He tells her she is sexually immature. A quantity vs quality discussion ensues. A birthday dinner for her husband leads to sex gone awry and a lot of resentment. Communication was never good and has since broken down. He is ill and she stays out of obligation. Tee is contemplating a different future, for herself and her children. Men wanting to engage in three-ways with her and another woman makes her uncomfortable. Do all men want that? Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Leah shares a coaching session with client Caitlin to give us an in-depth experience of what coaching looks and feels like. Caitlin is divorced and currently in a friends-with-benefits heterosexual relationship. She and Leah had discussed fantasies and BDSM in previous private sessions; here they focus on Caitlin's new (or perhaps not new?) sexual attraction to women, and how she might begin to explore that in real life. Leah explains what coaching does—and doesn't—involve. She introduces Caitlin, the coach-ee! Caitlin catches Leah up on a big realization she's had since their last coaching sessions: she's sexually curious about women too. Leah helps Caitlin hone in on whether her attraction to women is a leftover effect of our hyper-sexualized-female-form-loving culture, or a deeper sexual attraction. The conversation turns to fantasies; they're a great way to safely explore new thoughts and desires. Erotica is another. What "pansexual" means. Dating women can feel new to women. Leah assures Caitlin that the rules are basically the same: "Don't be an asshole." Also, exploring sex with a new-to-you gender can feel like a second puberty. When navigating COVID risks with dating apps, be clear up front about your risk tolerance and boundaries. There are some sensitivities to know about for women who are new to dating women. Leah talks about bi vs lesbian. Also, there's a difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction. Threesomes can be a fun way to try sex with a woman, if approached with sensitivity. Leah recommends more resources. They talk about how to find someone who wants to explore with you on the dating apps. Leah talks more about what coaching looks and feels like, in solo and group options. Resources mentioned: Erotica collections – I recommend the collections edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel Literotica – A site featuring erotica submitted by primarily amateur writers. I love it because no matter what your interest or fetish is, someone is writing about it here. Because it's all amateur, though, you may have to wade through a bunch of stories that are terribly written before you hit on one that tickles your fancy! Start by searching the tags for topics that interest you - https://tags.literotica.com (be aware that this site does show ads from porn sites so it is NSFW, but the pictures are generally not X-rated) Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Stephanie shares how childhood shame about feeling good in her body led to an eating disorder. She talks about how the eating disorder affected her ability to relate with sexual partners, including her now-husband. Healing the eating disorder has allowed her to begin relating in a new way with her body and her husband. Stephanie shares her first memory of sexual play at age 5 or 6, accidentally discovering that rubbing her genitals felt good. The adults around her shamed her, leading her to believe masturbation was a terrible secret. Shame compounds to feeling that her vagina is broken. Stephanie describes a "good girl" upbringing, and being behind her peers in sexual experimentation. An eating disorder manifests in her life. What trauma, even/especially when we don't label it as such, can look like. Stephanie hits a rock bottom with her eating disorder in college, and rebounds into a new willingness to try sex finally. She meets her husband, who makes her feel safe enough to begin to be present in her body during sex. She experiences her first real pleasure. Stephanie elaborates the myriad ways her eating disorder impacts their sexual relationship. While the sex is great in her marriage, Stephanie questions the kissing, and she and Leah go on a deep-dive about embodiment. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Dr. Evelin Dacker returns to answer a listener's question about common and chronic UTI's that occur after sex. She breaks down the how and why, and addresses prevention and treatment. She explains how naturopaths can restore balance to your vaginal ecology without creating a medical wasteland, and recommends some home remedies so that you too can help your vagina help itself. Listener question: Do I really have to take antibiotics the rest of my life to avoid post-sex UTIs? Dr. Dacker breaks down the anatomy behind UTI's. Lube can have a non-sexual protective application. D-Mannose is a carbohydrate sugar that lines the urethra and actually prevents the bacteria from migrating. OTC pro-biotics can help too. Vaginitises can occur with any vaginal intercourse. Yeast infections are discussed. Why the usual antibiotic-after-sex treatment is *not* the best. Dr. Dacker explains why naturopaths are a great place to start when treating chronic infections. Call the listener line {720-GOOD-SEX}if you have questions! Podcast recommendation—Wine and Chisme with Jessica Yañez Podcast recommendation: Title - Wine & Chisme Host - Jessica Yañez Apple Podcasts description - The Wine & Chisme Podcast was created to share the stories of everyday people doing extraordinary things to serve their community. Our host, Jessica Yañez brings her love for wine and passion for storytelling together to highlight the stories that need to be told in communities of color. Chisme (Spanish for gossip) comes from the interviewees themselves as they "spill the wine" on their own terms. So grab a glass of wine and join us for the new Wednesday. #WineAndChismeWednesday Instagram - TheWineAndChisme Resources mentioned: You can find Evelin Dacker online at EvelinDacker.com, www.MakeTimeForTheTalk.com, and on Instagram @sexmeddoc Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

"Deaf U" star Alexa Paulay-Simmons gets candid about who she is (and always has been) as a sexual person, and how that's shaped her life—both on the inside through her choices and experiences, and on the outside with the tight-knit Deaf community and the show's global audience. Alexa is a 24-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, straight, monogamous, with a sporty body. She was featured in the Netflix series "Deaf U". At the time of this broadcast, she is dating fellow Deaf U cast member Braxton. Alexa shares her first memory of sexual pleasure and asking her mom questions at age 6 or 7. Alexa finally has good sex—with someone she can give instructions to. She talks about how it can be awkward to use your hands for dual purposes—talking and pleasing—during sex. Daddy issues: Alexa struggles with game-playing, distancing herself, and a lack of communication with her sexual partners. With self-awareness, she chose to develop healthier habits. Leah and Alexa discuss the conversation on Deaf U around the unintended pregnancy, and consent (especially around ejaculating inside a woman). Alexa talks about power imbalances and ignored communication in the relationship, and how his wants began to supersede her needs. Alexa's current relationship is full of communication and thereby trust. She shares how the Deaf community has responded to (and judged) her openness about sex. Her father is less than thrilled. Vaginismus is discussed; lubricant is your friend. (If it still hurts even with lube, it's a good idea to get it checked out.) MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Our American Sign Language interpreter for this episode is Courtney Farbman. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Hey friends, You'll notice this isn't the regular episode you were expecting! The regular episode was loaded into the feed, and some of you may have already downloaded and listened to it. However, I made an error in the production of this episode so, in fairness to our guest, I've pulled the episode to fix it. Here's what happened – Our guest, Alexa, is Deaf and we did the interview through an interpreter. It was my first time ever doing an interview through an interpreter, so it took me a little time to relax into it. What didn't occur to me was to send the transcript to Alexa in advance of the release to confirm that the translation accurately reflected what she said. I did that last night. This morning I had an email from Alexa letting me know there were some issues. In light of that, I've pulled the regular episode down while we correct it to make sure Alexa's thoughts and feelings are truly represented. While this is resulting in a bit of a scramble this morning, I wouldn't have it any other way. The most important thing in the world to me is to tell women's real and true stories. Too often women's voices are obscured by others trying to tell us what they THINK we said. These stories – YOUR stories – are too important to let that happen. I don't know exactly when the episode will be back up in the feed. So I thank you in advance for your patience while we work this out so Alexa's voice comes through the way it should. Talk to you soon.

"The story of our pandemic sex life: it has not been pretty." Host Leah gets raw and real about how her intimate life has weathered the storm of a year-long international crisis, and about how confronting her partner's depression spiral turned out to be a better strategy—for both of them—than enduring it competently. We have transcripts! Plus: part of why that is awesome is our upcoming interview with a deaf guest! Leah opens up about her own sex life during the pandemic. Built into our society, and therefore our healthcare models, is the idea that men shouldn't ask for help. It's not an excuse, but it has had real consequences for Leah and her partner. Here comes the sex (or, doesn't). As her partner's depression and drinking worsens, Leah has the profound realization that her management via being strong and setting boundaries has the side effect of buffering (and thereby supporting) a damaging dynamic. He hears some brutal truth; hearing requires Leah saying it, of course. He gets help. While sex has been slow to re-enter the relationship, there have been benefits to the work they've done. Podcast recommendation: Title – Heaving Bosoms Hosts – Erin and Melody Description - Best friends and romance lovers, Erin and Melody, recap romance novels from a comedic, open-hearted feminist, sex-positive perspective! Giggling, tangents, and sincere joy abound! We take ourselves VERY seriously. Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/heavingbosoms Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Debbie was formed by experiences of both pleasure and pain. She was blessed with good early relationships, but also is a survivor of the epidemic of sexual abuse in elite women's sport. Her faith in herself helped her choose to heal. Debbie is a 52-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, married, and post-menopausal. She describes her body as average. Debbie's first memory of sexual pleasure is at age 16 with her first boyfriend, who had learned a fabulous trick with ice. She shares about growing up in church, conservative but with a touch-generous loving youth group. Debbie then opens up about a deeply traumatic experience: she was molested by her gymnastics coach. She talks about him being charged and acquitted, and about subsequently being groomed in his tutelage. Getting her parents to admit what happened was difficult. The lack of public condemnation was even more harmful. Debbie discusses two other painful sexual traumas. She speaks to the fact that despite the trauma, she is not broken, and she wants to assure other victims that a healthy sex life with pleasure is still possible. After they separate, Debbie's husband buys a self-help workbook and actually does the work. Things become peaceful, and then they turn around in a big way. Debbie still deals with chronic tendonitis in her hips, which impacts sex, and she talks about being post-menopausal. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

STARS is an easy-to-remember acronym for conversations that lead to awesome consensual sex. Dr. Evelin Dacker developed the STARS method to create a way for potential and current partners to have a thorough and safe conversation about physical and relationship expectations. What is the STARS conversation? Plus, if you've had it before, you should have it again. Dr. Evelin Dacker explains sex positivity. As she engaged in health research earlier in her career, she realized there's a total lack of sex talk in the field. Leah shares an experience she had at her first small group portion of a STARS class. When asked to share what her turn-ons and avoids were, she burst into tears and couldn't speak. Dr. Dacker breaks down each letter in STARS, and what those categories encompass. For example, dealing with shame and stigma are a part of the STI portion of the talk. Avoids are often boundaries related to trauma and fear; they may not be forever fixed. Also, don't wait to talk about them until you're heavy in the bedroom and unable to clearly hear your partner! Leah demonstrates a full STARS talk with her friend Ray. Mentioned in this episode: havetimeforthetalk.com – The online home for the STARS talk Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Lachlan was born with a vagina. His is the story of how a boy learned to be a girl, then learned to be invisible, then a lesbian, before learning that he could just be who he was all along, except that it's still … complicated. Lachlan is a 41-year-old transgender man. He describes himself as white, straight-ish, monogamish and single. He describes his body as a round, cuddly bear. Lachlan shares the complications around early sexual desire for him, because he knew he was attracted to other little girls. Lachlan's parents don't pressure him to gender conform as a kid, though trans isn't a known thing back then. Until, a birthday party. He learns about "passing" and blouses, and struggles through his teens. He talks about his rich fantasy life as a teen, in which he is a tall handsome football-playing penis-bearing male vaguely modeled on Macguyver. Lachlan's first sexual experience of any kind is at age 21 with his first girlfriend, who teaches him to masturbate. He squirts! The concept of transgender comes into his awareness. Lachlan comes out, despite fearing he will lose his entire family. After the news is broken to his father (by his mother) it is never spoken of between them again. Lachlan shares outward steps of transition; therapy, hormones, telling people you work with, growing facial hair. Becoming a man complicates his lesbian relationship. Lachlan details how sexuality transitions along with transitioning: the impacts of testosterone, top and bottom surgical options, the discomfort of still having to get a pap smear, etc. Lachlan talks about the mechanics around having sex in present day. Top surgery has enhanced appearance but decreased sensation. Heartbreak and pandemic create time alone. Lachlan passes fully as a male, and decides if and when disclosure comes, in normal life as well as dating. He opens the door on bathroom talk. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

What kind of touch do you enjoy? Have you thought about the ways, and places? Touch is a many-splendored thing. If you don't know what kind of touch you like, there's nothing wrong with you—but you have some (really fun) homework to do! A chorus of voices answer the question "What is your favorite kind of touch?". Leah answers. She first discovered what kind of touch she likes while drifting during a high school class. Podcast recommendation - As part of introducing this week's featured podcast, Leah opens up about the emotional abuse she experienced from her father growing up, and how that shaped her later interest in people who leave cults. Leah talks about undoing her own brainwashing. Podcast recommendation: "Two Sisters and a Cult" with Jada Smith and Alesia Galati Jada and Alesia are sister cult survivors. They discuss all things historical and present-day cults, while relating the topics to the cult they grew up in. Find them online at www.twosisterscult.com Listen at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-sisters-and-a-cult/id1503417365 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/twosisterscult/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/twosisterscult Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Leah met Gretchen at Sex Geek Summer Camp. They realized they share remarkably similar journeys; both started having sex later in life, believed that they were broken, then sought out sexual experiences and healing. Significantly, both engaged the services of a tantric practitioner. Gretchen is a cisgender 46-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as bisexual and polyamorous. She describes her body as average. Gretchen talks about her first memory of sexual pleasure, cuddling with another girl around age 8 or 9. Growing up Catholic, sex was never talked about. Gretchen discusses dissociating from her body for most of her life. Her parents never discussed her appearance in an attempt to minimize cultural influences. It backfires, though not in the usual way. In her late 20's, after returning from the Peace Corps, she finally tries to start dating. Living in the culture of the Dominican Republic changes her perspective. After a long time of flirting with a co-worker, sex enters the conversation. The encounter qualifies more as "penetration of some type". She's moved to Portland and wanting to date and have sex. With the help of her therapist and a whiteboard, Gretchen has a breakthrough. She takes a 3-week trip to Mexico. It ends, unexpectedly, with a one-night stand with her Mayan kayak guide. For touch-starved Gretchen, the experience is wonderful, then strange, then breaks her with the thought that she might be frigid. Gretchen starts working with a tantric practitioner. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Even people who think they're sexually open have hard red lines. This week Leah digs into discerning where your absolute no's are, why they might be there, and how to share them with your partner(s). A chorus of voices answer the question, "What are your hard red lines?" Leah talks about her own hard red lines, a surprising number of which have to do how she is treated rather than specific acts. Leah talks about both setting boundaries and defending them when it comes to your red lines. Pain tolerance, and how it can increase during sex, is discussed. Leah shares her process for vetting and setting boundaries with new partners in terms of safety and play. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

Candi lives with Muscular Dystrophy. She shares how it progressed and how it changed her physical capabilities over her lifetime, and what it's like to date and to have sex with a visible disability. She also opens up about loving rough sex and BDSM, despite an appearance—and often others' assumption—of fragility. Candi shares her first memory of sexual desire, a seemingly spontaneous discovery of masturbation in 9th She grew up in a conservative Christian family and sex was not discussed. She talks about being flat-chested in high school, and being such a late bloomer that her mom never gave her the period talk and she only knew what was happening because of Sex Ed. Candi stays a virgin until she's 22, influenced both by purity culture and fear of the unknown. She meets a cute boy with a leg brace in a boring class and they bond. She boldly asks him out. Her first sexual experience happens and leaves her feeling both curiosity and disappointment. Candi explains her Muscular Dystrophy. She reflects back to her first sexual experience through the lens of her disability and what the experience was like with her body. She goes into her next sexual experience in a way would *never* repeat. She opens up about the great sex she had, and the positions that managed it, with the random work guy she wasn't attracted to. Liking aggressive sex is completely normal; also, be careful with choking. Candi meets a guy on a dating app, and after an interesting first meeting, he introduces her to BDSM and blows her mind. She opens up about how hard it is to watch able people enjoy romantic and life milestones that seem to pass her by despite her competence and energy. Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

After having a baby, a mom is left feeling alone in the process of re-learning her body. Leah explains why it's more than okay to seek support, and how that can generate its own kind of healing. A listener gave birth 3 years ago, and is still struggling with her altered body. She asks if she's supposed to deal with it on her own, or if she can ask per partner for support. Leah shares her own struggle with body image, starting at a young age, and how hearing healing words from others is what finally broke through her negative internal messaging. Our culture harmfully socializes us to believe that radical independence in all areas is not only possible, but the goal. Sometimes our partners hold keys to our healing. Leah shows the listener how to start the conversation. Podcast recommendation: A Mind Full of Everything with Agrita - Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed by thoughts on a regular basis? Agrita explores the deep thoughts that leave her questioning why certain things are how they are, and the questions she's eager to find answers to – from global issues like climate change to self-improvement and everything in between. The elephant episode - https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/mind-full-of/beautifulplanet-lessons-from-nhKBeA-t1PV/ Website - https://mindfullofeverything.home.blog Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mindfullofeverything_pod/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/mindfullofeverything Twitter - https://twitter.com/mindfull_agrita Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/mindfullofeverything/_created/ Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now: Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game All my classes and downloads are at my store Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website Here's everything I'm up to today I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak