How can we safely explore BDSM? – Coaching session with Caitlin & Chris
Good Girls Talk About Sex · Leah Carey
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Show Notes
Caitlin returns for a follow-up coaching session with her partner, Chris. They check in with Leah about their BDSM explorations, dom/sub dynamics, communication in and out of play sessions, aftercare, safe words, bruising, pleasure, and sourcing and trying new ideas.
- Caitlin and Chris catch Leah up on the new-to-them BDSM they've been exploring and what they'd like support with.
- They get into specifics with impact tools, paddles, riding crop, switch, etc. Chris explains how he manages and escalates the impact using a 1-10 scale and timing set to playdate playlist.
- Leah talks about safe-wording to help Caitlin really get into sub space and also to give Chris reassurance. The line rests in the hands of the sub. Leah also talks about non-verbal safe cues.
- Chris shares his progress since the start of their sexual partnership.
- Pleasure dynamics for the dom, and physically dominating vs verbally dominating. Chris has an easier time with one over the other and is naturally a giver, so Leah helps him find new some avenues and techniques.
- Making a restaurant-style command or activity menu ahead of time can help. Leah shares a few tips.
- Navigating voyeurism/exhibitionism, consent, and safe places to engage.
- The Yes/No/Maybe list is great for finding and knowing your hard red lines. It's also a good idea to revisit the list periodically. Leah shares other resources and talks about BDSM tasting events.
- Chris talks about finding and pushing the limits as a dom while still being careful not to hurt her.
- Each play session is separate and discrete; always check in fresh.
- Is pushing BDSM limits healthy? If you're having consensual fun, carry on.
Resources mentioned:
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EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak