I tried to pee standing up – Lachlan

Lachlan was born with a vagina. His is the story of how a boy learned to be a girl, then learned to be invisible, then a lesbian, before learning that he could just be who he was all along, except that it's still … complicated.

Lachlan is a 41-year-old transgender man. He describes himself as white, straight-ish, monogamish and single. He describes his body as a round, cuddly bear.

• Lachlan shares the complications around early sexual desire for him, because he knew he was attracted to other little girls.
• Lachlan's parents don't pressure him to gender conform as a kid, though trans isn't a known thing back then. Until, a birthday party. He learns about "passing" and blouses, and struggles through his teens.
• He talks about his rich fantasy life as a teen, in which he is a tall handsome football-playing penis-bearing male vaguely modeled on Macguyver.
• Lachlan's first sexual experience of any kind is at age 21 with his first girlfriend, who teaches him to masturbate. He squirts!
• The concept of transgender comes into his awareness.
• Lachlan comes out, despite fearing he will lose his entire family.
• After the news is broken to his father (by his mother) it is never spoken of between them again.
• Lachlan shares outward steps of transition; therapy, hormones, telling people you work with, growing facial hair.
• Becoming a man complicates his lesbian relationship.
• Lachlan details how sexuality transitions along with transitioning: the impacts of testosterone, top and bottom surgical options, the discomfort of still having to get a pap smear, etc.
• Lachlan talks about the mechanics around having sex in present day.
• Top surgery has enhanced appearance but decreased sensation.
• Heartbreak and pandemic create time alone.
• Lachlan passes fully as a male, and decides if and when disclosure comes, in normal life as well as dating.
• He opens the door on bathroom talk.

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EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak