Delight Your Marriage

Hi there! Hoping your day is going well? There's a lot of difficulty you may be facing right now, and one of the best gifts I can give you is rest. Well, not me but God. It seems strange to think rest could help you cope with the intense struggle you're dealing with, but you may be quite surprised. I'd like to share a podcast episode that is dear to my heart and my growth. Why does rest matter to your life? Well, Jesus by no means hurried through life. He practiced Sabbath. He enjoyed His day to day life. Even children wanted to be around Him. If we're stressed we don't spend the time to connect with our partner in a meaningful way, in or out of the bedroom. For women, usually stress kills her libido but can increase her need for emotional connection. For men, it often makes them crave the release sex brings but he has low capacity to be present to her emotions. How can any of us not stress? There are bills to be paid, kids to raise, food to prepare, chores to accomplish every single day. Rest doesn't fit into our lives. But I would posit, as followers of Jesus, we can't NOT rest and be aligned with His will. We need rest to ensure we're on track. It's easy to be on the rat race for years and have no perspective to see what does God actually care about in your life. If you don't have pause to calm your heart and mind, you can't discern what that is. It's not work, it's rest. I am looking forward to sharing this with you. Good news: when you're rested, your intimacy in all ways increases. Love and Blessings, PS I am inviting you to save the date for the free LIVE Men's Training Oct 9 - 11! You can sign up here: www.delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining

In this episode, I have a former student who is in his 70s and has been married over 45 years. Not only has he and his wife used some of these interventions themselves, he is also very well-versed in the research behind it. He nor I am a doctor and this is not meant to be taken as medical advice, but it is worth asking your doctor about these possible solutions. He also talks about the important health choices their family has made to keep them healthy sexually and vibrant even in their latter years. For links to the many resources mentioned, go to the show notes page. To understand the Framework that I taught he and his wife when they worked with me, go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/framework

I'm excited to bring you an interview with a former student, Ben. His upbringing was tense and he tried to stay away from home. His parents' relationship left a lot to be desired. His wife didn't have a man in the home to understand what marriage could look like. Outwardly their marriage was very successful--but Ben knew that if he wanted his marriage to be passionate he was going to have to change. Which is what he did when he worked with me in my men's coaching program. He made drastic changes to himself and it impacted his wife's response to him. Both in their 70's is it really possible for them to have passionate intimacy -- physically speaking? As a doctor of orthodontics, he knows the rigor of academic research. He has done quite a lot in this area and not only has implemented medical interventions but also natural lifestyle remedies that help both he and his postmenopausal wife. This is part 1 of our interview where he shares his suggestions for passion even after 45 years of marriage!

With so much going on in the world, I think people are making big changes in their lives. Given that people are becoming more aware of their own mortality, I think its making them decide to take action. My encouragement in today's podcast: 256-How to Not Fail at Marriage, comes from a failure at marriage --ehemm --me! When my first marriage failed I blamed him. When my second marriage was on the rocks, I realized I was the common denominator. When I transformed myself, I witnessed this man change before my very eyes. Now, that I work with many men and women from around the world, I wish I understood these truths and the essential Framework a wife and husband needs to not fail at marriage. And in fact thrive. This episode is for you if your marriage isn't what you think it could be. I'd encourage you, if you know someone in that spot, this may be the perfect opportunity to send them insights that very well may transform their marriage. None of us know when it's our time and God calls us home. But right now, God has given us our spouse as the most important human relationship and I hope you honor it as such. On today's show I cover: -The 3 things men need to feel fulfilled in marriage -The 3 things women need to feel fulfilled in marriage -This Framework is what men and women need to understand to love each other the way the other receives love (hint: it's different for each spouse) -What I wish I had known about sexual intimacy in my first marriage -Why we are more respectful to strangers than our own life partner If you are new to the Delight Your Marriage philosophies, this is a really good introduction. If you've been around for a while "repetition is the mother of learning" so I encourage you to take these insights too! Find a deeper understanding of the Framework here! Love & blessings, Belah PS - I'd love to invite you to send this to a friend if they're facing marriage challenges right now, this could save their marriage.

Most people don't use that word anymore. But I think "coveting" is still very relevant to our world today. And is still an egregious sin we need to take seriously for our benefit and God's Kingdom. When I look at the Ten Commandments, I used to think they weren't all that related to one another... and they didn't have much to do with marriage or sex. 1- But looking at them again, there's a thread that runs through them very beautifully: contentment with God's will for you. 2- Sex is even directly indicated. But the one about "do not covet your neighbor's wife," if taken seriously, guards against the "do not commit adultery" commandment. Coveting is actually a very important sin for men AND women. We each need to take it very seriously. It causes your sex life to dwindle if either partner is doing it. Though men and women covet differently around sex, if given to that temptation, it has a huge impact on the bedroom. God cares about our hearts. He cares about how we think and how we judge. And when we covet, we are taking our eyes off of what God wants us to focus on and consuming our attention with things that just don't matter as much and maybe they are even egregious sins. Coveting is actually a very important sin for men AND women. We each need to take it very seriously. Also, I talk about the sins of sex addiction and greed in this episode because I think they're very related as well. Coveting and adultery are equal sins. But the former leads to the latter. Adultery is an outward sin while coveting is a sin of the heart and it happens first. Coveting is where we should be vigilant so the outward sin can't even come close. When women covet the "neighbor's wife", it's still sin. Maybe we're jealous of another woman's flat stomach or some other standard of beauty we think is better than our own. It causes us to hide, feel insecure and go away from intimacy with our spouse. Leaving our marriage more exposed to potential destruction. (Also, ladies, I still have to fight against this! That's our fight to win--the fight in our hearts and minds.) I have actionable recommendations to help you avoid this temptation for your benefit and to serve God and His people better. I hope you'll listen in. Wishing you a wonderful week! Love and blessings, Belah PS If you want the specific Framework I use when working with my clients to help them love--the way their spouse receives love. When you discover how your spouse receives love, and fulfill them in that way, they will naturally naturally love you the way YOU receive love (men differently than women)! So go to delightyourmarriage.com/framework for the free download!

Have you been hurt? Have you been disappointed? By your spouse. By those you love. By God. I think the answer has to be yes. Disappointment is part of the human experience. Jesus was disappointed and hurt by those he loved. But he somehow put his disappointments in a category where it didn't slow down His mission to do God's will. In this episode, I share how I felt disappointed by my husband and went about things the wrong way. And I share what I should have done (for your benefit :) Yes, I'll share how to motivate your spouse to do what you want, but more importantly what to do if they don't. It's a perspective shift that's required if you're going to have a healthy and happy marriage. But also I share how to have less disappointments and be less hurt by your spouse. If you've been disappointed by God, I want to speak to that as well. Especially as this pandemic is taking it's toll on so many in so many different ways, we can easily get disappointed at God. How could he do this? How could He allow this? How does He not stop this? I want to speak to this. I aim to comfort you and help you process your disappointments and give you a road map of how to have a much better sense of control when you are seeking to heal things with your spouse. Love & blessings, Belah

Hi there, Hoping you're well? In challenges, my aim is to keep showing up and helping inspire and empower you to have a wonderful marriage and intimacy in it. To that end... This is Part 2 of my Interview with my husband about his perspectives on fatherhood (and why that makes me so attracted to him!) Is it his ripped abs and amazing biceps? ​ Well... let's just say he's got a very healthy "dad bod" going on right now. :) Truth is, the attraction may have started out physical, but became emotional. Because that emotional attraction is there, it flows back into a physical desire for intimacy. So, if you're concerned that the "Quarantine 15" (aka weight you put on because of being in the house all the time) has left you less attractive to your spouse, I'd say worry more about your character, which will attract her to you. To answer the question: what makes me so attracted to this man? His sincerity. Kindness. Genuine care for me and our family... that makes me want to love him in all the spicy ways possible. Just by tuning in, I think you can "catch" his heart and emulate it. ​​Check out the episode: 253-The Sexiest Dad Alive! Interview with My Husband, Part 2 And as an added bonus: it's more efficient than the hours in the gym... it's about what's inside. Blessings, Belah

Like the title? LOL. I know, I know... I'm too much. But it was intriguing right? If not... pretend it was something more mature like: "How to Be the Man Your Wife Is Attracted To, Hint: Fatherhood Matters." That's what today's podcast is about. Here's a story that's not in the episode... Last night, our just-turned-7-year-old insisted that we relax on the couch with our wine while he made us dinner. He found a recipe for tacos in his school book and asked daddy to buy the right ingredients, so he could make it! Then when the 5-year-old finished showering, he taught his younger brother how to scoop the salsa, avocados, beans and lettuce into the shells. Between the two of them, about 1/8 of the ingredients landed on the floor... But golly---we ate dinner and didn't have to make it! You better believe those boys got some serious compliments and encouragement for treating mom and dad to a "feast"! And because of our reaction I'm sure it won't be the last time! (You should have seen those boys puff out their chests!) Am I bragging? Well, maybe. I think there is purpose to it. I'm hopefully casting a vision of what's possible when you have an amazing marriage. I never saw or heard of such things. EVER. Growing up. So, maybe this is me sharing a vision of what I wish I had had. Here's what I've learned... My son treats us that way because he imitates his dad. His dad treats me that way. And (I fail plenty... but..) I sure try to treat my husband that way. So, today, I invite my husband on to share his insights on fatherhood (and I share why that makes him irresistible to me!) In the past when he's come on I've received comments like: "I listened to a three part series about being peaceful and laid back [Episode 214-Transform to Be Easygoing Part 1 of 3]. As I listened to her husband talk I fell to my knees in tears. I have been teaching men for a long time, and have been thirsting for someone to look up to. Yes, it's Jesus. But I heard Jesus's character in these two's hearts. It was beautiful hearing Belah laugh at and affirm him. I loved it when he spoke so highly and with gratitude of her and listened to her sounds in the background. Their interactions and emotion while speaking is novel in a world where we are so used to sarcasm and selfishness and calloused feelings about our kids and loved ones." First of all, we are honored and humbled and feel unworthy of such praise. But are grateful that God could use our weak words to draw people to Himself. If you listen closely, curiously, carefully... I think you'll understand why I'm so attracted to this man and do all the "sexy stuff" because of who he IS. God bless! Belah

You have an Assignment (1 Cor 7:17). A plan a purpose God laid out for you to do. A set group of people He wants you to impact. Jesus didn't assign you to everyone. He even had limits on himself. Jesus himself limited his prayers: "I am not praying for the world, but for those whom you have given me" John 17:9 But if we think that we're supposed to be doing everything, we'll miss who He is really assigning us to. Thus, His perfect plan doesn't go forward. This impacts your sex life, and is impacted by your sex life. Whether you're a woman or a man this has impact. I think this allows us to all take a breath and say, "Lord help me to know who you have given me. Help me to be content with who you have given me. Help me to truly serve, love and impact only those you have given me". And if all of us did that... then the world would look a lot different, I think. I share how I'm doing that in my life, with my family and in my current launch of the renewed Masculinity Reclaimed program right now. I share how men I've worked with (who I believe God put in my assignment) have been able to stop "burning with passion" even though they're married and get on with what God wants them doing. Because after my program they are more Christ-centered men. One--maybe surprising--thing I share in this episode is how I wish my ex-husband took the Masculinity Reclaimed course. It's basically written for a man who thinks like that to help him become a man who thinks like my current husband...a man by his behavior and heart motivates me to want to make love to him. (I'll tell you it works!) I hope this encourages you to deeply reflect on your Assignment and the role sex plays in it. And I pray that will help direct your steps. Enrollment for the Masculinity Reclaimed program is open now, but is closing very soon, so I hope you register now. Delightyourmarriage.com/mrsp Once enrollment closes, it won't be around again this year.

This is probably THE question I hear in one way or another over and over again. Lights off, sheets up and "vanilla" sex is the refrain that is very frequent. Why is she like this? How can this change? What about specific things she's squeamish about like "intimate photos of us", anal sex, and mirrors? If you'd like more insight on anal sex: delightyourmarriage.com/sod All that is covered in our conversation! Especially for men, but helpful for women! --- In the Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again! You'll learn how to strategically transform your marriage so she WANTS to enjoy sex with many new positions, visuals and variety... ...a 92% success rate! We are launching very soon (and won't be opening up the doors til next year!) so go to delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining to get all the details!

To my beloved listener, I want to encourage your heart in trying to understand what's happening and why. I know you're doing hard work to figure out what your role is and should be in all of this. And I commend that so much. Also, as you're going through so much right now, I hope you rest. I invite you to practice self-care especially right now. I hope you'll read, write by hand, & meditate on Matthew 7:12-24 & Galatians 5:19-24 (Further reading: Further resources: I recommend this interview you listen to and interview with Brene Brown and Ibram X. Kendi and a message from Bishop TD Jakes.) By Gods grace... We're going to get through this. Love, Belah PS If you're signed up for the Men's Training: from her "duty" to her desire, delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining it will be released Saturday and the rest next week! If you're not signed up, be sure to soon (it'll only be available for a limited time!)

Playfulness doesn't seem important now that life is so busy and stressful, but it's actually central to a good marriage and a PASSIONATE marriage. When you think about what your relationship was at first, it probably was full of laughter. Right? The value of playfulness- Laughter makes you smarter Makes you more creative Improves your immune systems The JOY of the Lord is our strength Rejoice... is a constant refrain in the Bible even in the WORST circumstances, we are invited to rejoice in the Lord. There is power in joy. Sex can be awkward, uncomfortable, and embarrassing just to name a few. And if there's a playful culture in your marriage, it causes laughter. If there's not, it causes distance because you both are trying to look better than you feel. For both parties, they're insecure around sex, so if your marriage is more playful... You're not trying to be perfect in front of the other. You're not trying to compete with the other. You're not trying to change the other. You're staying present and looking at the joyful parts of life together. I think this episode will not only convince you WHY but also HOW to make your marriage, playful, safe and passionate. Get the Wild Romance At Home video training ($97 value) for FREE by leaving an iTunes Review and sending me a screenshot to belah at delightyourmarriage.com If you need more instruction on how at https://delightyourmarriage.com/itunes

(Note: Free resources offered in this podcast for a review are no longer available.) As a husband, maybe you're wondering where the passionate nights went from your first months or years. Your wife may be wondering where the romantic DAYS went. But, maybe you're stuck at home and it feels like you're not able to do any kind of romance given the circumstances. I hear you... I will add that I live in NYC, in a 1 bedroom apartment with two sons (age 5 & 6) during quarantine. Which means we've probably left our physical apartment 5 times in the last 7 weeks... ...and I'm here to tell you, you can DEFINITELY have a Wild Romance even during this season. (You'll understand more on this show). I want to gift (for FREE) two valuable resources from a $297 course that I have only offered to my current students... Because it's almost Mother's Day & I think you need to understand the template on How To Be Romantic while at home... And this will help you forever understand what your wife wants when she says she wants to be "wooed". There's a catch. I give you a behind-the-scenes-look at how the business of Delight Your Marriage works. And how the podcast is made and why I think it's God's will for me to rely on people like you. If you jump through some hoops to post an iTunes Review, you'll get the resource for FREE. Don't worry, I'll guide you step-by-step on how to "jump through the hoops"--we'll do it together! If you still have questions, I have a specific step-by-step guide, here! THANK YOU, so much. If you've been a listener for a while, I am SO honored that you would take the time to listen all the way through this episode. As you know DYM doesn't have ads because I care more about your impact than the revenue that comes in that way. So THIS is how you can make sure the podcast continues. And if you pray for DYM, please pray that people would listen to this podcast and do the steps so it can grow. The podcast is listened to in 155 countries worldwide and that's because you have spread it--or done what I request in this podcast! So, thank you! I have included valuable encouragements and insights for you but also an ASK from me. It means A LOT that you would do this for me and for the spread of this work. I love you. Belah (PS -- We'd still love a 5-star review, however, over 3 years later we no longer offer the free training. Head to delightyourmarriage.com and see what is available now!)

So, what I've noticed is that all of us are insecure. For some of us it's more obvious than others. It shows up in life, and it shows up in the bedroom. I want to talk to you about what men are insecure about around intimacy and I want to talk about what women are insecure about around intimacy. We have the opportunity to help our spouse feel more secure. But how do we help our spouse when we ourselves are struggling with fear of judgment, rejection and body image (to name a few)? Well, I think we need to understand where that fear is coming from. And that's what we explore together on today's show. Do you feel worthy? Do you treat your spouse like they are worthy? How can you help your spouse not be so insecure... -around sex, -around professional things, -around the ways that they are in the world? Hint: it's different for men and women. (To understand more about this framework, and get a free PDF download go to delightyourmarriage.com/framework ) So, on today's show I want to tell you about what I think will be helpful for you to love your spouse in a way that will make them -take down their guards, -be less perfect (yep perfection is a mask for insecurity) -be more vulnerable, -be more messy & real, -be more kind & loving, -be less awkward, -be more open, and -be more secure. And you too.

Addiction runs rampant... for most of us. Myself included. Especially when we're facing tough things: anxiety, pain, loneliness, vulnerability, identity, significance. During a stressful time we are trying to avoid the pain... so we move towards the pleasure of distraction, entertainment, alcohol, gossip, food, video games, cigarettes... God has specific insight into what to do on a consistent basis to bring us to PEACE. Specifically, I'm thinking about this scripture... Psalms 37:7 "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him". That makes me what to squirm and run away and pretend I didn't read it and that it's not in the Bible. If I'm really honest my response is "but I'm too important to wait" or "there's too much to do to wait" or "waiting is not going to help anything" Waiting feels like facing the tiger that's chasing me. The truth is when I wait, when I'm patient, when I am still... I discover over and over again that it's a paper tiger. Is meditation new age / non-Christian? I talk about that... and how to ensure your meditation is Christian. I share what I do to be still and be present in intimacy and OUTside the bedroom to impact my pleasure in intimacy. Also, when "Receiving" in intimacy is too hard, there are other ways that are easier at times and bring us together in beautiful ways. A few resources I mentioned: The Craving Mind by Judson Brewer MD, PhD Deep Work by Cal Newport International House of Prayer - 24-hr worship streamed online Live a Life Worthy of Your Calling (the song starts at 1:18:15) Delight Your Husband: The Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex by Belah Rose -- I'd like to invite you to be on my email list. I send emails a couple times a month and I'd like to offer you some free resources for you... For wives, you're welcome to get "8 Tips to Stay Present" in the bedroom: www.delightyourmarriage.com/present For husbands, you're invited to get the "7 Blocks to Her Libido" which clarifies what may be keeping her from desiring intimacy in your marriage. www.delightyourmarriage.com/7blocks

I'm very excited to share this interview with Dr. Kahn a renowned cardiologist (seen on Dr. Phil and The Doctors tv series among other great accolaides). This is my second time having him on the podcast and you're in for a treat! What you put in your mouth affects your intimacy. (And I mean outside of the bedroom! :) From libido to sexual response, our diet helps or hurts. We also talk about COVID health and how the studies are showing there are specific things you can do to help your immune system (and of course be very focused on prevention). On our last podcast I shared what I'm doing health-wise and how I think those things helped my health when fighting COVID -- some of those things Dr. Kahn encouraged (and some of them he DIScouraged!) I encourage you to listen in to discover what may be most helpful for your intimate-life and your overall health. You can find more about Dr. Kahn's work at drjoelkahn.com Check out some of his books: Vegan Sex, The Plant-Based Solution, and his newest one Lipoprotein(a): The Heart's Quiet Killer

Hi there, Happy Good Friday. It feels a bit strange going to service online, but the beautiful thing about Jesus is we get to meet Him anywhere because of what He did for us on this day so long ago. I am curious how you're doing? I've been praying for you and hope you're doing ok. We haven't chatted for a while because I've been a bit behind. My husband and I got COVID. The real one. You probably have heard of plenty of really sad stories. I wanted to share ours to hopefully encourage you and add one story to the "FAITH pile" in your heart. How do we know we got it? Well after a grocery store cashier sneezed on my husband a few days later we got flu-like symptoms and then we both lost our taste and smell! ​​(JFYI it's SO weird to not be able to taste or smell anything). For me, I had super mild symptoms (thanking God!) and my husband has fairly mild symptoms though he's yet to be 100%. When she found out me, my husband or my 2 sons (ages 5 and 6) hadn't crossed the threshold of our cozy NYC apartment in 13 days and we've had a peaceful and contented existence throughout, (by God's grace)... a friend asked "what is your secret weapon?" Well, that's what I share in our conversation today, so you have it too: "Your COVID Secret Weapon". I think there are a few things you can focus on amidst the chaos, anxiety and stress that will benefit you, your marriage, your health and ultimately the Kingdom of God. (At the end of the broadcast I share the specific health things I do that I think helped our situation as well, in case you're interested in hearing my opinions on it -- immune health is a personal passion of mine.) Spoiler alert: I talk about intimacy being vital during this time. ​​So I would love to have you listen for encouragement and PRACTICAL insights on how to use this time to HEAL your marriage. Blessings & love, Belah

Corona virus, COVID-19, has impacted you. For so many the fear is tangible. I know it's impacting your marriage. Sadly the divorce rates in China have skyrocketed as a result of the quarantine. I don't want that to continue or become worse. I want to help you. In your marriage, in this time, is it possible to be a soft landing DURING this crisis? How can you get better? How can you and your spouse grow into the people God wants you to become DURING this crisis. Many of us have a lot more time on our hands. (If you're in the medical field, please know we're praying for you). How are we using that time? I want to invite you to a FREE online workshop: SOFT LANDING Webinar: Be encouraged & be loved by your spouse DURING crisis On that webinar I'll be launching a brand new group: Delight Groups to help you stay encouraged DURING the crisis. You don't have to do this alone. If you want to sign up for the THRIVE webinar or learn more about the groups, sign up here.

Fear activates. Over the Christmas break my son had a very serious health crisis. And we cried out to God. And God moved. My faith was increased and everyone who has heard the story was impacted to trust God more. Have you ever heard, "There are no atheists in foxholes"? People want hope to grab onto. And when reason fails to give that hope, the power of God can come in to help people experience His love. This is an opportunity to be an example to all who you know. Don't be the victim who numbs your fear, but the leader who stands in faith. Believe me I've been the former, but I am want us to stand up and encourage and pray and love those who are in fear right now. As Jesus-followers, we are lucky to know that this earth is not the end. But how do we encourage and pray for our neighbors? How can you start now? You may have a lot more time on your hands. How can you start to encourage and help others even RIGHT NOW? Encourage your spouse. Love them generously so they can do their best in the world right now. Prioritize peace in your home so the storm isn't ALSO raging in your home. Sign up to my newsletter for more encouragement during this time: www.delightyourmarriage.com/present And you'll also get my 8 Tips to Stay Present in Intimacy Love you and I'm praying for you, Belah

In the midst of the storm that you both would be bound together. That any worry or fear would be replaced with faith, hope and love.

So, I messed up. I'm throwing myself under the bus here. I'm having trouble having grace with myself. I share what happened here. Maybe you can totally relate to my situation, or maybe you can't. Hopefully you'll at least be amused by my humbling... We all have thorns in our flesh to keep us humble so hopefully this will be encouraging to you... to see me hum-iliated :) Also... I want to help you be motivated toward intimacy. Whether you're a wife who needs motivation to love your spouse with sexual intimacy or you're a husband who needs motivation to care about your wife's emotional desires... or anywhere in between. This is how to be motivated to intimacy: emotional, physical and spiritual in your marriage! Enjoy! A couple of FREE resources I mentioned (after you're motivated of course) is learn to seduce! The 5 Amazing Seduction Tips delightyourmarriage.com/tips Also, for men to understand their wife and how to remove the blocks that are keeping her from intimacy: delightyourmarriage.com/7blocks The 7 Blocks to Her Libido Thanks so much for listening--looking forward to speaking again next week!

So, I hear you. And I validate your desire. I wish wives would understand the importance and privilege she has to love him the WAY HE RECEIVES love. With that in mind, I want to encourage you, dear husband. Jesus KNOWS about your high sex drive. In fact, God is responsible for it. It's very clear in the Bible that He knows and designed you with it. So, when I am encouraging you in how to view your wife, it's actually the most PRODUCTIVE thing you can do to bring you both at a better place in intimacy. It's not the last step, but it's the FIRST and has be there BEFORE anything else. If you want to understand the next 12 steps (literally), you can sign up for a FREE Clarity Call (worth $500!) where you and I will talk about what your SPECIFIC situation is. You'll get clarity and great value and as I'm listening and discerning whether or not you'd be the right fit for me to expect amazing transformation in your marriage: -like a husband who was celibate for several years because his wife shut him out now they're making generous and enthusiastic love several times every week! -like a husband who walked on eggshells hoping his wife wouldn't reject him at night and she hadn't initiated in 20 years - now she's the ONLY one initiating and they're making passionate on a consistent basis! If that's what you'd like to see in your marriage, I'd love to consider your story on a Clarity Call and IF I think you're the right fit I may invite you to work with me. Go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/call (Due to capacity, I am only offering this call for husbands at this time though I have some options that may include them if I feel it's the right fit.)

You may have an inkling, but I bet you'll be surprised by my guest Sharon Jaynes (sharonjaynes.com) and the interesting topics we dig into to help others understand in what ways the Song of Solomon was speaking about intimacy between husband and wife. (Hint hint, they're not talking about the farmer's market). :) Sharon Jaynes has authored over 20 books and is passionate about women walking confidently and freely in their God-given calling. She loves marriages and seeks for women to be free in intimacy as well as love their husband through prayer. Sharon and I had a lot of fun talking about how the Bible specifically gives us the green-light to do far more in sex than most Christians realize. Listen in! Be sure to get Sharon's new book: Lovestruck: Discovering God's Design for Romance, Marriage, and Sexual Intimacy from the Song of Solomon to find out even more! -- A couple of free resources I mentioned on the podcast that I'd love to offer you: delightyourmarriage.com/present - for wives the 8 secrets to stay present in intimacy delightyourmarriage.com/7blocks - for husbands to understand the 7 reasons she is blocked from having a higher drive

Why did she heal? What motivated a woman who was a size 0, undernourished, had been abused horribly to decide it was worth the challenge to heal? How did she heal and now have a thriving intimate life with her husband? Catherine gives us insight, hope and practical tools for you. You too can be healed, by God's grace. Whether you were abused or your spouse, this will be helpful to understand the process and know that complete healing and restoration is possible for you! Catherine is incredibly inspiring and has used her story to bring light and safety to so many through her organization Stop Trafficking Us (stoptraffickingus.org) which helps people out of being trafficked. If this resonates with you and you'd like some additional tips on how to stay present during intimacy, I'd love to also give you a free resource: "8 Secrets to Stay Present during Intimacy". You can get it here: delightyourmarriage.com/present

Today's interview is a story of resilience and hope. Catherine goes into her story lightly because her full story is extremely difficult to take in. HOWEVER, there is hope. Catherine is a living example that God can heal you. 1 in 4 women AND 1 in 6 men have suffered some form of sexual trauma. So, the healing needs to happen for SO many of us. What can you do as a wife or husband to heal? What can you do to help your spouse heal? What are the underlying causes for pain for the person who is trying to help their spouse heal? There's a lot of great insights even for practical and fun ways to heal... yeah it doesn't have to be another exercise in pain to heal. God can help even when the mood is light! To find out more about Catherine Wilson's work, visit: https://www.stoptraffickingus.org/ If thoughts are inhibiting you in the bedroom and you're a wife, I'd like to get my 8 Secrets to Staying Present in Intimacy for FREE, you can go to this link! Part 2 is coming out next week, I hope you'll come back for that on Thursday!

So this is one of those topics that even when we're talking about intimacy we don't talk about. But because I have the honor of speaking to women and men about some of the stuff they have never told ANYBODY, this comes up. I want to share this episode because I want to help you. I don't want you to feel alone and icky and like you're sinning. Maybe you're not OR what are the specific Biblical boundaries? Maybe there are small tweaks you can make to your thought-life that will align them with God's will. Maybe there are wees growing in the garden of your mind and they need to be pulled up and we'll talk about that. But you may be surprised by some of my thoughts even around homosexuality. It starts in the mind and what we focus on grows. Just because someone has same-sex attraction doesn't make them gay. I want to clear about that because that's an insecurity a lot of people have. I believe we all have proclivities, it's what we do with those proclivities that matter. Some of us are more violent, some of us easily lie and some of us have other proclivities we need to keep in check. What you focus on grows. So if you're focusing on the ways God wants you to be attracted and turned on by your spouse, I think you might be quite surprised by the way God will redirect your thoughts, feelings and even stimulation just by directing your fantasy-life. -- I am SO excited to invite you to my 3-part FREE Online Seminar, people had amazing things to say about it! www.delightyourmarriage.com/renew There's only a couple of days left to go and get the replay! "Belah, your webinar was absolutely amazing, we both enjoyed it and can't wait for the other 2! You have such an incredible insight on the male - female relationship that we haven't seen from any other relationship expert! Your content was spot on and was such an awesome introduction. Where were you 25 years ago!!!!!!!" - Husband "Thank you so much, Belah, for the distilling a lifetime of wisdom and teaching about God's plan for marital happiness, family harmony and personal fulfillment into one webinar!!!" -Wife of 32 years

"Belah , your webinar was absolutely amazing , we both enjoyed it and cant wait for the other 2! ​You have such an incredible insight on the male -female relationship that we haven't seen from any other relationship expert ! ​Your content was spot on and was such an awesome introduction . Where were you 25 years ago !!!!!!! Lol"​​​ -Husband I was very grateful to receive this review! Hope you can make it to TOMORROW's PART 2 and bring your spouse! www.delightyourmarriage.com/renew You can see Part 1 for a LIMITED TIME here!: www.delightyourmarriage.com/renew_replay

Wives: As a wife who was bewildered by his desire and feeling grossed out by it, I get it! But more than that... my hangups included, it's dirty, wrong, sinful, perverted, from the pornos, etc etc etc. But he kept caring about this. And he wasn't the only one. And now I hear from husbands all the time about how important this is to them. And these guys aren't jerks, pigs, or abusers. They're God-honoring gentlemen, who love their wives, they're good fathers and they want to enjoy their lives and their marriage and LOVE HER THE WAY SHE FEELS LOVED TOO! -- Husbands: On this episode I have some practical (VERY ehemmm practical) tips for you. This can be something for you guys in your marriage even if you've been married many years! If you're tempted to ask your wife to listen to this... consider for a bit. Will it make her feel forced? Instead, I want to invite you to my live, free webinar series coming up! This is an awesome opportunity to get your wife introduced to my work. It'll have intimacy sprinkled in but it won't be as focused (and possibly alarming to someone not really on board with my concepts). But you'll want to attend the webinar too because it'll have golden nuggets for you two! What can YOU do to encourage your wife in this? ReNewed Connection: Deeper, Loving Relationship & TRUE Intimacy! -- The other free resource I mentioned is The 7 Blocks to Her Libido resource! Looking forward to having you at the Webinar Series. (Also, if you are seeing this in the future, you can go to the same link and gain some kind of helpful material!) ReNewed Connection: Deeper, Loving Relationship & TRUE Intimacy!

Oh man! You're going to get a lot out of this one. Larry Shushansky (from https://www.independentenough.com/) has 40 years of experience as a psychotherapist. We dig into what conflict is, why it happens and how to deal with it. But also that it is GOOD for your marriage. However, MOST couples do conflict WRONG---thus it's BAD for theirs. Don't let yours be in this category! He has been featured on: Psychology Today, Fast Company, Chicago Tribune, The Huffington Post to name a few... and it shows! Some things may SURPRISE you. How could conflict be good? How do you MAKE conflict good? What does it mean to be independent but also dependent in your marriage? Aren't you supposed to be vulnerable with your spouse? So, why would you also be independent? Is there some kind of manipulation here? My hope is it will challenge you to think way differently about conflict and your connectedness with your spouse. Oh, and Larry and I have a conflict about something. I think you'll be really interested to hear! Neither of us backed down and he says we did it right. -- Also, I mentioned that I'd like to invite you and your spouse to attend my Live and Free webinar series: New Year, ReNewed Connection: Deeper, Loving Relationship & TRUE Intimacy! Sign up here: www.delightyourmarriage.com/renew2020 This is for couples (or people to watch on their own) and a ending segment JUST for wives. If you're looking for an easy segue-way to invite your wife to be interested in my work THIS IS IT. Or if you have friends that need this work but you don't know how to talk to them about DYM because you know... sex. I get it! This is a easy to digest and hints of truths about intimacy but nothing as strong and explicit as I have on my podcast or other material. Its a super easy intro as well as extremely helpful relationship tools. Looking forward to having you! Love, Belah

If you've listened for a while you may be at a spot where you're really hoping your spouse would tune into the content. Especially if you're a husband there is a way that may be really effective around the holiday. "Honey, for my Christmas present would you [read this book, watch this video training with me...]?" I have seen this be an effective way to encourage your spouse towards listening and recievubg some of this content that isn't always the easiest to invite her to listen to or read. If you'd like to sign up for the free, limited offered 3-part video series go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/video If you'd like to read my book Delight Your Husband: The Christian Wife's manual to confidence, passion and oral sex, you can find it onAmazon in ebook or paper book. I'm working on the audiobook so that'll be available soon! God bless you this Christmas season! Belah

The new year is just about upon us! But how are you prepping for it? How are you making sure you're growing in the ways God wants you to? In this podcast, I invite you to think about the ways God may be asking you to reflect on the year you've had. I encourage you to have a pen and paper handy so you can jot down what comes up for you. Why is this a difficult task? I discuss the 3 reasons people don't reflect, but then the way it's vitally important if we're going to be the people God wants us to become. Don't go through a difficult season and NOT learn the lessons He wants you to. You'll just be doomed to repeat that same sad, painful situation. But when you reflect effectively, it gives you hope, peace and faith that God is going to guide you in the next season as well. When you go through this exercise you'll be able to know how you should focus for the new year. I encourage you to spend the time before the new year focusing on what He wants you to. With that in mind, I'll be taking 3 weeks off from the podcast so I can focus and listen and plan for 2020. During this time I hope you'll prep yourself for the new year (feel free to relisten to podcasts you may have missed or wanted to listen to again!). I'll speak with you in the New Year! Merry Christmas and God bless!

It's that time of year. Happiness and fun and joy is expected. Is it reality for you? Do you have joy in your heart? CAN you have it? I want to talk about this because the holidays can be extremely difficult. And I want to invite you to think about the things you can do even today that will change your perspectives. How do you make your life aligned with your deepest values and highest vision? I speak specifically about tools that will help you get there. If you'd like the Prioritize Your Life chart I talk about you can email me at belah at delightyourmarriage.com If you'd like to listen to an extremely inspiring story of marriage and love, check out this podcast with Joni Eareckson Tada - When Disability Challenges Your Marriage I'd love to have you on my 3-part Video Training that will be up for a limited time: The 3 Keys To Seductive Confidence Happy Thanksgiving! PS Don't forget to sign up for the video training! The 3 Keys To Seductive Confidence

I've been asking women about hope they feel about seduction because 1-that's what I hear so often from the husbands I coach. They crave to be seduced by their wives. 2-that's what I hear so often from wives... I'm not comfortable. I don't know what to do. Is God even OK with it? We have been married for so many years, how do I start? How do I get over feeling silly? I want to encourage you. Because the third reason I wanted to record this is because this is how I have felt MANY times over. It's only since I've understood where my husband is coming from that I began to prioritize this. And when I started to see the holiness and God's approval of more fierce intimacy did I seek to walk in this with confidence. I want to give you encouragement in this podcast. And I want to give you practical tools. You can get that from my favorite 5 tips: www.delightyourmarriage.com/5tips then when the email gets to you, respond to me with "I want in" and you'll get on the list to receive my 3-part video training on seduction.

We argued yesterday. Knives were involved. Well truthfully, it was a disagreement at a restaurant. But the actual emotions happened way before the restaurant. My husband is on the show again (back by popular demand!) to tell how he was feeling and what he did and why. Why is this important for your intimacy? A wife wants to make love to a man she feels safe with. If you're arguing in a way that makes her feel unsafe, then you're repelling her from the very thing you crave. I want to share this podcast because I think we have HORRIBLE examples of marital conflict. We take our cues from movies, dramas, chick flicks and sitcoms. All of which have very unhealthy and hurtful aspects. I want to give you a vision of a REALLY GOOD conflict. One where each of us weren't "perfect". But each of us allowed our value of intimacy, connection and love to be higher than our emotions and impulses. I hope this gives you encouragement and inspiration in your next emotional challenge between the two of you. There's another way and there are specific tools you can use to NOT leave you or your spouse bloody and bruised rhetorically. --- If you're a wife and interested in the 5 Tips To Amazing Seduction go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/5tips If you're a husband and interested in transforming your marriage to one of friendship and PASSION, go to www.delightyourmarriage.com/call and sign up for a FREE 40 min call ($500 value) and we will dive deep into what is blocking your intimacy and what are next steps for you!

Your first time having sex, was it just like my experience? A bit awkward, NOT like how the movies portrayed it, and maybe even a BIT uncomfortable? So now that you've done it a lot more, I bet what was uncomfortable in the beginning has started to feel a lot more comfortable, right? So, would you like to ENJOY it more? Have you ever asked yourself these questions: Should I initiate? Should I just go for it and stretch myself and seduce him? Is it okay for me to suddenly change and just go ahead and seduce him and be sexy? Here's what I talk about in this podcast episode: How to enjoy the process of seduction and lovemaking more Why it's okay to be silly before being sexy What EXACTLY you need to do (practical tips and more!) A lot of people say that DATING SEX is BETTER than MARRIAGE SEX. Well, that is what Delight Your Marriage wants to change. It is our mission and we want to change it so that marriage sex is hotter, more enjoyable, and the best sex that anyone will ever have! Absolutely NOTHING in this life stays the same. If you choose to change and stretch yourself to become more seductive, then it's definitely okay! And you will actually ENJOY sex more. If that's not where you are in your marriage right now, it's okay to be gentle with yourself. God is a God of new beginnings. We can always start over and change and grow your marriage into something you enjoy and look forward to! Resources: I'd love to receive your answers to this VERY QUICK survey which will help me give you the kind of content you want to hear! Go to: www.delightyourmarriage.com/seductionquestions Also! Get 5 fantastic and practical tips to amazing seduction here!: www.delightyourmarriage.com/5tips

I used to think "if I just got thin enough then I'd be confident." But, then I did. And I didn't. Our society tricks us into thinking beauty is only a certain thing. But God made us beautiful. And when you don't love your body your chances of loving sex is far lower. On this episode I want to help you see more clearly and not have the inappropriate expectations of yourself that is inhibiting your joy and passion in sex. I also have some help for husbands on how to help their wives in this area. I used to be bulimic when I met my husband. He has loved me through lots of different shapes of my body and I gotta tell you, that kind of love encourages a wife to be sexually free and pleasured. I answer: How can you feel more confident in your body Why the negativity is stealing your sex drive How you can conquer the inner critic The balance between loving your body and being healthy What the FIRST step is to getting there If you'd like more specific tips on how to seduce, here's a FREE resource for you: The 5 Tips On Amazing Seduction PDF Love, Belah Also, if you are looking to get clear on what's really blocking you from having incredible intimacy, I'd like to invite you to a FREE 40-minute Clarity Call ($500 value) with me to help you uncover what is really going on. If I think you'd be a good fit for one of my programs then we can talk about that. But you'll get fantastic value either way! Schedule here!

For the free resources The 9 Lies Undermining Your Sex Drive audio & pdf go to: www.delightyourmarriage.com/desire Do you have low drive? Discover the blocks that may be holding you back from a stronger desire for your husband!

When she found out he went to jail because he almost killed his father and was a diagnosed sociopath... a thought struck her: "I will trust him with the lives of my future children". There are so many amazing topics for this week's podcast, I'm not sure which ones should I write here! Marie and I talk more in depth about her relationship with God and her relationship with her husband. These are just some of the things we talk about: what life with a husband who is a sociopath looks like -- and no, it's not what you may think! the defining features of a sociopath and how they got a "psychological miracle" how her husband tried to kill his father and landed in jail her husband was a devout atheist until he started reading the Bible and now millions watch his Apologetics debates defending Cheistianity Marie was back to being a Christian after reading an Apologetics book how their complete honesty helped solidify their relationship how reading the Bible helps David in his daily life Other topics that we talk about how sex should be treated as a spiritual bond and not just as a physical bonding between married couples how there's no aspect of YOUR story cannot be touched by God's grace how deeply and truly God's love can transform and change our perspective about ourselves and our marriages Marie serves as vice president for a non-profit organization to connect people affected by myotubular myopathy. You can find out more about the non-profit that connects families here at: www.mtm-cnm.org You can watch David Wood's videos here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy5H0uunC2qMk0iOF4SHKUw --- Also, if you'd like a free 1:1 Clarity Call with Belah u-- a $500 value! She is offering that free to her audience--men or women. Here you will get insights into what's blocking you from incredible intimacy in your marriage. Sign up for a time to speak to Belah at www.delightyourmarriage.com/call

I had a wonderful and extremely inspiring chat with Marie Wood, who is raising 5 children (a basketball team, according to her!) with her husband, David Wood--the very famous Apologist. Two of their sons, Reid and Paley, both have a rare, life-threatening condition called myotubular myopathy. It's so rare that it only affects 1 in 50,000 male live births. It causes problems with muscle tone and dangerously affects muscles that control necessary functions like breathing and swallowing. In this interview, I was moved to tears more than once because of the story of Marie and her children. She is an incredible woman who clearly loves the Lord and is such a force for good even in the face of suffering. I know if you listen to this conversation you'll come away in awe that our God can even raise the dead in this day and age! I'm amazed and I pray this will be an empowering and affirming message for you as well. Marie serves as vice president for a non-profit organization to connect people affected by myotubular myopathy. You can find out more about the non-profit that connects families here at: www.mtm-cnm.org --- Also, if you'd like a free 1:1 Clarity Call with Belah -- a $500 value! She is offering that free to her audience--men or women. Here you will get insights into what's blocking you from incredible intimacy in your marriage. Sign up for a time to speak to Belah at www.delightyourmarriage.com/call ------------------ Belah's book---Delight Your Husband: A Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex---may be the tool God would use to bring light and joy to your marriage bed. If you're at a place of desire for change in intimacy in your marriage--men or women--consider signing up for a free Clarity Call ($500 value!) where you and Belah will dive deep into what's going on in your marriage and help you uncover what is blocking amazing intimacy! From couples that hadn't made love in years to couples who were in an affair--God has brought passion, healing and fun to these marriages! She's currently offering this 40min Clarity Call opportunity to podcast listeners for free! Schedule here.

Hi there! This is part 2 of my chat with Ruth Buezis, author of Awaken Love. You can listen to part 1 here. If you loved listening to part 1, part 2 delves deeper into the specifics of lovemaking and Ruth and I's thoughts about the different types of orgasm that women would love to experience. Other things we talk about: Just having sex vs. getting to know each other through sex The dynamics of who leads during intercourse The in and out movement for a man, it's good for him. But how about the woman? The three ways women can have orgasms What does the Bible say about sex Is the intercourse you're having with your spouse the kind of intercourse that leads to orgasm? The clitoral alignment technique: what is it exactly? Some helpful things for the wives: What you can do to allow you to discover new and interesting feelings during intercourse The journey you can take to learn more about the orgasms you can experience Understanding new concepts and ideas that are related to orgasms G-spot vs clitoral orgasm The common anxiety wives experience before intercourse Also, if you'd like a free 1:1 Clarity Call with Belah -- a $500 value -- she is offering that free to her audience. If you're a man or a woman and are seeking for things to be transformed in your marriage and intimacy--this is for you! Here you will get insights into what's blocking you from incredible intimacy in your marriage. Sign up for a time to speak to Belah at www.delightyourmarriage.com/call ------------------ Belah's book---Delight Your Husband: A Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex---may be the tool God would use to bring light and joy to your marriage bed. If you're at a place of desire for change in intimacy in your marriage--men or women--consider signing up for a free Clarity Call ($500 value!) where you and Belah will dive deep into what's going on in your marriage and help you uncover what is blocking amazing intimacy! From couples that hadn't made love in years to couples who were in an affair--God has brought passion, healing and fun to these marriages! She's currently offering this 40min Clarity Call opportunity to podcast listeners for free! Schedule here.

I'm so excited to chat with Ruth Buezis (author of Awaken Love) about how to transform your sex life into something much deeper. Ruth started out her journey by talking about sex to 8 of her closest friends! Word spread and she's now sharing her journey to hundreds of women who used to be in the same boat as she was. We talk about Christian couples and the usual questions we get from them: -How do I help my wife orgasm? -How do I orgasm during intercourse (from wives)? -How long should I last (from husbands)? -What EXACTLY should I do (from both!)? ------------------ Belah's book---Delight Your Husband: A Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex---may be the tool God would use to bring light and joy to your marriage bed. If you're at a place of desire for change in intimacy in your marriage--men or women--consider signing up for a free Clarity Call ($500 value!) where you and Belah will dive deep into what's going on in your marriage and help you uncover what is blocking amazing intimacy! From couples that hadn't made love in years to couples who were in an affair--God has brought passion, healing and fun to these marriages! She's currently offering this 40min Clarity Call opportunity to podcast listeners for free! Schedule here. And as Ruth says, men can get so caught up in the mechanics -- but there is so much more to sex than just mechanics! What are the things that husbands and wives can do DURING and AFTER intercourse instead of feeling pressured and worried? There are actually SO MANY things couples can do to help remove the pressure! Whether or not there's orgasm during intercourse, there are lots of things that CAN be done so it's always mutually enjoyable during intercourse. Other things we talk about: - What if a husband finishes earlier? - What about gentlemen who last way longer than the women? - What makes sex better for HER? - How God wants us to be excited about sex with our spouses Also, if you'd like a free 1:1 Clarity Call with Belah -- a $500 value -- she is offering that free to her audience. Here you will get insights into what's blocking you from incredible intimacy in your marriage. Sign up for a time to speak to Belah at www.delightyourmarriage.com/call

How do you become MORE attractive to your wife? What exactly do I mean when I say "attraction"? Well, it's kind of like having a pull towards yourself. Whatever it is that you're doing, it's going to pull her and cause her to desire you. When you're attractive to her, she'll also have a physical desire towards you. What can you do as a spouse to cause her to be interested again? To be FULLY in the marriage again? My theory? Attraction works outside of marriage like this: You are a whole human being with your own passions and desires and she starts being drawn to your power and confidence. Slowly, through time, you BOTH start to fall in love. It's simple: Chemistry (natural attraction) + spending time with each other = being attracted to someone We'll be attracted to different types of people our whole lives. It's up to us as married people to not spend time with others. So how do you become the whole man that you want to be? By desperately seeking her love? By wishing to spend more time with her? This is the kind of work that I do with the men that I work with in The Masculinity Reclaimed program. If you want to get tailored advice and deep insight into your own marriage, you can do so by scheduling a call at www.dym.as.me. ------------------ Belah's book---Delight Your Husband: A Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex---may be the tool God would use to bring light and joy to your marriage bed. If you're at a place of desire for change in intimacy in your marriage--men or women--consider signing up for a free Clarity Call ($500 value!) where you and Belah will dive deep into what's going on in your marriage and help you uncover what is blocking amazing intimacy! From couples that hadn't made love in years to couples who were in an affair--God has brought passion, healing and fun to these marriages! She's currently offering this 40min Clarity Call opportunity to podcast listeners for free! Schedule here.

Over the years listeners have asked for my book Delight Your Husband: The Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence, and oral sex, to be available on paperback. It is now available! And if you get the book, read, and review on Amazon, you can have access to a $97 Masterclass for free! The Masterclass will be September 15, 2019! When you do those three things go ahead and email [email protected] And you'll be on the list! Thank you so so much!

Does sex feel like a duty? When he asks to make love, I believe that he's actually doing a really brave thing. He could be afraid of rejection and is actually insecure about it. What if you have the opportunity to bring out your husband's generosity by being compassionate about his sexuality? As a side: Dear husbands, If you want your wife to work with me, I encourage you to take the first step in transforming your marriage. By doing this, she'll be receptive to transforming herself as well. Wives, I want you to know that if your opinion of sex is that it's a chore or a duty, it's probably hurting your spouse's feelings. AND sex has to start with having an open heart and a good perspective. Otherwise it doesn't feel like making love, it feels like you value it as much as washing the dishes. What if you can go to a place of: Joy, fun and excitement To the point that you physically crave sex I want you to get there. Listen in for encouragement and new perspectives and tools to make love rather than do your duty. If you want to work with me to have the heart and a body (!) that craves sex, go to www.dym.as.me . You'll have 40 minutes of my undivided attention for FREE (a $500 value) so we can talk about your marriage. ------------------ Belah's book---Delight Your Husband: A Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex---may be the tool God would use to bring light and joy to your marriage bed. If you're at a place of desire for change in intimacy in your marriage--men or women--consider signing up for a free Clarity Call ($500 value!) where you and Belah will dive deep into what's going on in your marriage and help you uncover what is blocking amazing intimacy! From couples that hadn't made love in years to couples who were in an affair--God has brought passion, healing and fun to these marriages! She's currently offering this 40min Clarity Call opportunity to podcast listeners for free! Schedule here.

First and foremost, I'm so glad you're planning for sex. Many people let this HIGH priority slip away from their marriage. And they wonder why their marriage turns into a disaster. I am GRATEFUL if you are one who puts it on your calendar--it means you DO prioritize it! So, I'm now encouraging you to go the next step and make it sexy. So often I hear from husbands that they make love the exact same way every single time they make love. And "it's even on the calendar!" Well, 1st- the good news is you're making love (!!) and 2nd- ladies, we can plan sex (just not let him in on it!) ;) Listen in for inspiring ideas on how and why to spice things up and how you can plan sex without making him feel like a To Do List item! Aka...plan it sexily! How EXACTLY do other people even plan for sex? Planning for sex can look different for many people: You can plan for sex in other physical aspects (If you're too full from dinner, you might be too sleepy for sex!) You can plan for sex emotionally (are you emotionally prepared to plan sex?) But planning for sex with a "grin and bear it" mindset isn't good. It would be awesome if you planned sex with a heart filled with joy and excitement. So how do you plan sex with THAT kind of mindset? Well, here's a story. My husband surprised me with something special on our anniversary: a sunset cruise. He made sure that the house was clean, the kids had a babysitter, he had flowers everywhere. Well he got the idea from SOMEONE ELSE. Was I mad that he got the idea from someone else? Of course not. That's the same with you planning sex. Don't feel like you're not being truthful or being a phony when you plan sex. The important thing is the experience you'll both be having, not HOW you got there. How open should you be to your husband when it comes to planning sex? It depends on where you are in your marriage, emotionally speaking. He craves you more when you feel good about having sex. But making love is also about you; your own joy and fulfillment. ------------------ Belah's book---Delight Your Husband: A Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex---may be the tool God would use to bring light and joy to your marriage bed. If you're at a place of desire for change in intimacy in your marriage--men or women--consider signing up for a free Clarity Call ($500 value!) where you and Belah will dive deep into what's going on in your marriage and help you uncover what is blocking amazing intimacy! From couples that hadn't made love in years to couples who were in an affair--God has brought passion, healing and fun to these marriages! She's currently offering this 40min Clarity Call opportunity to podcast listeners for free! Schedule here.

What does it mean and WHY would you actually do it? What if it's COMPLETELY outside of your personality? What to actually do? (Steamy examples!) --- Before we dive in… I run a men's course called Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again. It's a program which helps you understand how to be an amazing husband so your wife wants to do this kind of stuff. It dramatically transforms marriages. I work with men in this program and interview their wives who started out rating their intimacy as a 3 out of 10 and then they move to a 7 out of 10 or from a 5 out of 10 to a 9 out of 10! --- ALL-DAY seduction is: not normal for me I don't wake up thinking I want to be someone who likes playful touching throughout the day I thought it was sinful. "Why think about sex the whole day???" was my question. Well, now I've changed my tune. Here's why… The reason I do this work: I love families I love what children have when it's a safe, loving family The desire for intercourse isn't the motivation. It's the answer to "how do we make the world safer"? We make better children who have parents who love each other so well that they're able to live a trauma-free life God wants children to be raised up in the right, safe, kind environment. And sex is vital to that because that's how your husband receives love. Why do great men of God fall to sexual sin? The sexual sin is great... 35% of internet downloads is pornography "Sex" is the #1 search term Pornography increases marital infidelity rate by more than 300% Adultery destroys your soul God made him with a strong desire And God gave him that desire; the average man has about 11 erections a day! So where do we go from here? I'm not saying you're responsible for his fidelity. But I think you have an opportunity to support him in this really sinful world. Have a system of seduction throughout the day: Bring up intimacy throughout the day! Touch him! Give him a kiss through his clothes --- do it any time of the day! Always change in front of him Tell him "I can't wait to do more" Resources: Late September, I have a women's course called The Delighted Wife: Reclaim Your Sexuality Live In Your Womanly Wisdom And Witness Him Cherish You If you want to find out if this is the right step for you, go to www.dym.as.me so we can speak 1:1 to discuss your situation. No matter what it's a $500 value but free to podcast listeners and you'll get amazing free value and clarity so sign up as soon as you can! ------------------ Belah's book---Delight Your Husband: A Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex---may be the tool God would use to bring light and joy to your marriage bed. If you're at a place of desire for change in intimacy in your marriage--men or women--consider signing up for a free Clarity Call ($500 value!) where you and Belah will dive deep into what's going on in your marriage and help you uncover what is blocking amazing intimacy! From couples that hadn't made love in years to couples who were in an affair--God has brought passion, healing and fun to these marriages! She's currently offering this 40min Clarity Call opportunity to podcast listeners for free! Schedule here.

Good Morning--- I wanted to say a prayer for you. And let you know that whatever situation you're facing He is with you. He is right there beside you. He says: 28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt 11:28-30 (NIV) God is with you in this situation. Jesus loves you and wants to take your burdens. Love you and praying for you. Love, Belah

Do you wish YOU were into sex more? A lot of things are not mentioned in the Bible: Electricity Vehicles Importance of exercise Internet So much of our daily life is not spoken about in the Bible! And yet we have no problem doing it, every day. In fact, we'd say it was good, though not mentioned in the Bible. So, why don't we have the same view of sex? Art isn't mentioned in the Bible but some like painting, some like sculpture, others like charcoal. As with art, if your spouse would like more variety, that's okay! If your spouse would like more frequent intimacy, that's okay! God can help you with all of this. He can help you physically crave sex. He can help you want to meet your husband's particular desire for that particular style of "art". God cares about being a part of your life --- and your sex life! In a marriage, a man and a woman are free to want to make love with one another. Resources: If you're interested about the women's program to be truly free in the areas of VARIETY, CRAVING SEX and grow in your knowledge of all the HOW-TO's this coming September, you can go to www.dym.as.me to schedule a call to see if it's a good fit for you! ------------------ Belah's book---Delight Your Husband: A Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex---may be the tool God would use to bring light and joy to your marriage bed. If you're at a place of desire for change in intimacy in your marriage--men or women--consider signing up for a free Clarity Call ($500 value!) where you and Belah will dive deep into what's going on in your marriage and help you uncover what is blocking amazing intimacy! From couples that hadn't made love in years to couples who were in an affair--God has brought passion, healing and fun to these marriages! She's currently offering this 40min Clarity Call opportunity to podcast listeners for free! Schedule here.