Delight Your Marriage

Get inspired and encouraged by Nick's story. It's amazing! They were miserable. He had plenty of ministry and church background. He certainly tried his best! They had 5-kids, including a brand new baby. But he and she had resigned themselves to misery. He didn't even want his kids to get married because it was so painful for both of them. But in 6 weeks it all turned around, by God's grace! Why do I share this and other stories of God's transformation? 1 - Because you need faith that YOUR marriage can change. 2 - You can get specific insights that Nick changed and why his wife transformed. 3 - And to convince you that you need to take the free Masterclass coming up in October 11, 12 & 13. delightym.com can get you straight to the Free Men's Masterclass sign up. (It's easier to type than delightyourmarriage.com but both will get you to the registration page!) (To help spread the word about DYM--even internationally to countries where evangelizing carries the death penalty (not an exaggeration!)--leave a 5-star iTunes review, here's how: delightym.com/itunes ) Love, Belah PS - Be sure to join us on the FREE Men's Masterclass - delightym.com Oct 11, 12 & 13

Our society today so often wants to ignore God's design and essentially forget the fear of the Lord. But, he made men and women in His image and those uniquenesses are incredible! Physiological, psychological, emotional, and sexual...UNIQUE. Each of our uniquenesses is God's glory revealed. It's our opportunity to search out His glory through each other. And it makes sense that the enemy wants to undermine God's design in every way that he can. One way is pretending that we're the same. Why is this bad? Well, husbands assume their wives are intentionally hurting them because she is "withholding" love (in the unique way he receives it), thus grounds for unfaithfulness/divorce/all manner of destruction. And wives assume their husbands are intentionally hurting them because he is "withholding" love (in the unique way she receives it), thus grounds for unfaithfulness/divorce/all manner of destruction. But if we start with the perspective: My spouse, my "ezer kə·neḡ·dōw" (from Gen 2:18), is WILDLY different than me because God made him/her that way. They desire, love, enjoy, crave completely different things than I do---let me discover what those things are! In sum: assume you are completely different than your spouse and that you can learn how to love them the way they receive love. "Making love" rather than having sex is a vital piece. Listen in to learn more. I'm praying and rooting for you in this! Blessings, Belah PS - Men: your free masterclass is right around the corner starting October 11 (don't miss it, add it to your calendar!) and sign up delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass

Pastor Nathan's wife had abuse/trauma growing up that severely inhibited her sexual desire and affection with him. They were good people and she wanted to love him well, but couldn't because of her past. And her libido was SO low. Pastor Nathan went through the Masculinity Reclaimed program and his wife transformed before his eyes. (She didn't do a program). His favorite moment was when he said after a very passionate experience and he said "thank you"--she responded "well, it was because I wanted it so badly"! -- Pastor Todd & Donna had a great marriage. (Donna joined him for this interview!) They come from a long line of pastors and are very busy doing a lot for others. And it was really good -- but intimacy was physically painful for Donna and she also had low drive. Pastor Todd joined the MR program (almost by accident) and he felt like he didn't belong there because everyone seemed to have it much worse. And he felt that her physical pain wasn't because of him at all. But, he took a step of faith and signed up. She didn't do a program. BUT... through the program SHE started initiating way more than ever and she didn't even notice. She started enjoying it more and their marriage has flourished! He has a Masters in Family Life Ministry said in an email to me: "My wife and I have been to and led MANY Christian marriage conferences and retreats and Bible studies and have watched many marriage videos and read many books and I have done pre-marriage counseling with couples in my role as a pastor and camp director, but I have never experienced anything as comprehensive and effective as Masculinity Reclaimed!" --- Excited for you to hear these two mens' stories, as professionals in the field God has used MR to help their own marriages and I am SO honored, humbled and grateful. Blessings, Belah PS - If you want to see what MR is all about and get some fantastic free training, sign up for the Free Men's Masterclass coming up next month: October 11, 2021 ( delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass )

This is the next part of Communication Secrets and I think it's an important addendum. We talk about what to do when you're disappointed with your spouse. When you want them to change. When you feel they were irresponsible. I have two examples for you: 1 - When a friend was irresponsible and God brought conviction even when He kept me from saying anything. 2 - When I was irresponsible (I know---unbelievable!) and God brought conviction even when my husband didn't say anything. I hope this brings you encouragement, direction, and skills as you attempt to live God's way in your marriage. Love, Belah PS - The free Masterclass is coming up soon (for a limited time) and I encourage you to sign up ASAP so you don't miss it! delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass PPS - I'm excited to invite you to an "Intimacy Secrets Summit" that I was honored to be a part of. A superstar cast of intimacy experts that I would encourage you to get a seat with! Coming up next week!

So much stress revolves around communication. I've been there! My husband and I have miscommunications everyday. Today, for example, I was telling him about a sore in my mouth and he was sure I was talking about Europe. That is silly and allowed for laughter. But what about when someone is lost and just hoping for the other to quickly look up directions. Or when you're in a stressful situation and one of you is incomprehensible (to you). Well, I want to invite you to reframe what good communication is. I want to invite you to consider what really matters in communication with your spouse. I try to debunk some unhelpful cliches: "Your spouse should be your best friend", or "You have to be compatible with someone to be happy", or "If you don't connect on common interests, you'll die a miserable, lonely, painful death." Alright, that last one isn't a cliche I've heard! (but maybe have felt?) Let's get some fun back in our lives and let miscommunication be the fodder! Blessings, Belah PS If you need immediate help in your marriage and you've seen some changes from podcasts so far, now is the time to let that inertia grow into long term transformation with training and tailored support. So if that's what you need, get on the phone with a Clarity Advisor and they'll see if we are the right fit for your situation: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Two brothers were at the playground the other day. I was talking to their mom. This happens to be a beautiful playground with a huge fountain and amazing monkey bars, places to run, sand, swings, ride-on toys, and loads of other kids to play with. But guess what these two did? They fought over the same circular "stool" to stand on! The mom and I laughed. With everything available for them to do, THAT is what they had to fight about. Then I think about God. We get into squabbles with our spouses. Over... Who told the story most correctly, who knows the quickest way to the store, what they really meant by that phrase, whether or not they're late, who squishes the toothpaste out correctly... Oh... Higher than the heavens are above the earth are His thoughts higher than our thoughts, are His ways higher than our ways. God have mercy! May we get it right...get into God's will for us. That starts with the fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord puts our lives, habits, tiny things we do, and ways of being into the perspective of eternity. I talk about how vital it is to get into the Word in order to see things correctly. We can have absolute faith in the Word when we pursue people who have studied this. In fact, many people who started as atheists studied it and became Christians. The discipline is called "Apologetics" and I encourage you to pursue it to bolster your faith and then get on with what God wants you to do in this world. ...And let me tell you it doesn't include squabbles about toothpaste (or other things that are at that level of small, childish thinking.) Listen in for perspective shifts and encouragement. Blessings, Belah PS - Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc to have a Clarity Call with a Clarity Advisor to get help for your marriage right away!

I really do mean this title. I keep seeing miracles, but when people don't recognize God's working in their lives... it may not continue. It seems that sometimes people can get so fixed in a mindset of misery that when God does a miracle, they can think it was just a fluke and go back to their same ways of thinking. The problem with that is, when your wife does something out of the ordinary and you don't thank God for it and have a grateful heart about it, she thinks it didn't matter to you and doesn't do that, or anything more, again. Or, if your husband finally does some movement in the direction you've desperately prayed for him to go, but you don't believe it's really real, he decides it doesn't really matter to you so he decides he won't do that (very vulnerable) thing again. We have to recognize God's miracle, let go of the past, trust His hand in our lives and live like He has done the work. Ten lepers were healed. Jesus didn't call it faith that they were healed. He called it faith when the one leper came back and praised God for the healing. I don't think it was that they weren't grateful. I think they doubted the miracle. Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe it would have happened anyway. Maybe it won't last. And the problem is, from the story, Jesus only said, "Your faith has made you well," to the one who praised God for the miracle. Sadly, I don't know if those other 9 got to keep their miracle... I encourage you to recognize God's hand in your life. Call it a miracle. Praise God for it and witness Him continuing to work in your life. Blessings, Belah PS - If you need immediate help in your marriage, sign up for a Clarity Call where a Clarity Advisor (trained by me and a graduate from DYM programs themselves) will help discern if we can help and what the right next step would be! delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Do not let the sun go down on your anger IS a scripture. But for us go-getters it often feels like an argument has to get settled before any of us go to sleep. So there we are fighting about sex at 12am and wondering why the conversation didn't make both of us feel warm and connected? My encouragement is to feel the anger (which probably is just hurt covered over by anger) and choose to take a break. Feel the feelings with God. Let them go. Forgive her. My encouragement is to feel the anger (which probably is just hurt covered over by anger) and choose to take a break. Feel the feelings with God. Let them go. Forgive her. Forgive him. And... as the scripture actually reads: "Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger". And get a good night's rest. Then be wise about how to have a real and connecting conversation in the future that moves the ball forward. Short and sweet today. But hopefully powerful for you! Blessings, Belah PS - If you'd like some free downloads check them here: delightyourmarriage.com/free PPS - We're hiring! ​​I'm looking for an awesome part time Tech person who loves Jesus and DYM -- who knows about online business-type apps, integrations, and basically the stuff I don't :) And that you love tech! You'll be trained on our particular tools, our tech team and I currently use, but I'd like you to come with some fantastic skills to bring to the table! ​​You'll be joining an amazing team and have the opportunity to use your skills and passion to truly impact lives around the world for the Kingdom! Send an email to [email protected] and we can send you more details.

I used to think I only respected someone if they deserved it. Whether that was my husband or the young adults I worked with. Which meant I didn't treat them with respect. Maybe not blatant disrespect as I saw it. But more neutral. Though I have come to find out "neutral" is generally not good. My natural tendency if I don't have the correct heart (that God created everyone and they should be treated with respect) is being mean. Maybe it's our human nature? Anyway, what I discovered is if I'm trying to tell my husband what's best for him, how he should improve, or what to do... He's busy being mad at me rather than listening to the Holy Spirit and discovering his own journey to growth. (We want our husbands to be the spiritual leaders right? Then we've gotta stop being their spiritual leader. ​​And give them the space and support and encouragement to do it for themselves.) But he was so untrustworthy. Inconsistent. Unhelpful. Unreliable. Irresponsible. And worse... I was doing everything and unless I would nag, push, correct, complain, teach, criticize... it wouldn't get done. I was so exhausted. It wasn't until I decided to 1-​​forgive ​and no longer hold his past over his head---let him be a new man in my eyes, ​ 2-​let God change my heart according to His will, ​ 3-​change my words, and ​ 4-​behave respectfully... Did I witness my husband transform. And He changed without my "brilliantly helpful" input. I also speak to women who have experienced betrayal in the form of pornography, an affair or something else. My heart breaks for you. I would love to hold you in your legitimate anger and pain. And I want to give some guidance on what I think is helpful next steps. I encourage you to listen with an open heart and see if God has a nugget of wisdom that you need in your life. Blessings, Belah PS If you need immediate help, please apply for a Clarity Call ($300 value) for free at delightyourmarriage.com/cc A Clarity Advisor (graduates of DYM programs) will walk through your specific situation with you and help discern if this is the right fit for you to witness God's transformation of your marriage. delightyourmarriage.com/cc Also, I have loads of free content to get for you: delightyourmarriage.com/free

We're all insecure. Which I think is why God says "do not fear" so often in the Bible. The only one we are to fear is Him. (Which when we get that right, it puts everything else in perspective and it's a lot easier to not fear everything else.) We have to take courage in all aspects of our lives in order to do God's will. And when we fear the wrong things we get off track. Whether it's fearing rejection or meanness from your wife. Or whether it's fearing what he thinks about your body. When we take courage in one area of our life it permeates to others. When we take courage in our intimacy in our marriage, it permeates to taking courage to do what God wants us to do in other people's lives. I am really excited to speak to you today about the fears that typically hold men and women back from doing intimacy the way I think God intends: naked and unashamed, aka naked and courageous. Blessings, Belah PS - If you need to speak to someone about what a next step might be for you in your walk and journey. You can apply for a Clarity Call where a member of my team a Clarity Advisor may be able to speak with you and determine how we can help you get to where you're yearning to go. delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - I have a ton of free resources for you at delightyourmarriage.com/free PPSS - Oh! And I was interviewed on this cool youtube channel the other day by a friend from long ago. It's exciting to see where she is and that she shared her platform with me. Check it out here!

If you've ever heard my husband on the podcast, you'll want to hear him now. I was speaking to a mom at the playground and she was remarking at how calm Darrow is. "I think babies love him because they can somehow sense his calmness and presence. It's very unique." I couldn't agree more. On today's episode, you'll hear the amazing stories! (I was hoping to go "rapid fire" through a ton of the stories... well, we definitely didn't do that, but I think it's actually a lot better this way.) If you're a man who is suffering in your marriage, you will find encouragement, validation, and hope---you are not alone. Your marriage can change. It has for many others. Where these men started from was seriously bleak. But, wow! It is wild to see where they they have gone! Darrow says it's like they were stuck in this deep, deep mud - frustrated, angry, in pain, sad, and ready to give up (you may be able to relate), and now they're on the red carpet - like a dream. No one would ever imagine they were ever in that spot. Listen in today to hear my husband's advice, suggestions, and plain-old encouragement to you, dear listener. Blessings, Belah PS - The free Men's Masterclass is going on right now, but it will be closing soon, so be sure to sign up at delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass. PPS - If you're ready to enroll in Masculinity Reclaimed for the fall semester, space is limited and we'll close enrollment if we hit a certain size, so be sure to go to delightyourmarriage.com/mr-enroll-fall and sign up asap. JFYI - Anyone who signs up on the first day of enrollment - Thursday, July 22, 2021 - will receive a free team strategy session with me directly! I'm so excited to witness God transform your marriage, too!

So, this is such a fun story to share. I believe it will inspire hope, excitement and most importantly faith that God can do this for you too! I remember speaking with Timothy on our first call together and the sincere pain and loneliness he felt with his wife which was so visceral and real. He reached out firstly just to thank me for an encouraging podcast that he stumbled upon after a really tough moment between he and his wife and it encouraged him. My heart went out to him. A big part of him thought the state of his marriage was "just the way it was". How could a class fix that? Timothy shares what happened to him when he got the tools and training of Masculinity Reclaimed. What happened to his marriage when he implemented it. What changes he made. Week in and week out he "showed up" and did what I asked -- and what I think you can tell by listening to his story is that he changed. She didn't know he was doing the program, but she started responding to his change. He was a "Delight Your Marriage binge-listener" before. (I'm super honored for those of you out there! :) But it wasn't until he was actually in the Masculinity Reclaimed program where the principles I teach are ordered in the way that his marriage needed with tweaks particular to his situation to heal and then be on a completely different trajectory. Before he worked so much because he didn't have a reason to be home, before she didn't want to spend time, always on her phone, And guess who cuddles up to him now? And guess who initiates much more often? And asks for new things in intimacy? And has magically dropped life-long the body image concerns and now gives loads of flirty visuals? Timothy has witnessed his wife become a very different woman because of the way he has changed! Now people comment to them about how much fun they have together. Timothy just graduated from the MR program this Spring, and if you want to be in the Fall Semester of Masculinity Reclaimed, I have a "sample" free Men's Masterclass which you can sign up for here. delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass The free Men's Masterclass is starting Monday, July 19 - 21. Enrollment in the Fall Semester of Masculinity Reclaimed opens July 22. I'm so excited for God's miracles to continue to surprise and encourage us toward faith and glorifying Jesus' work... in more mens' lives, more marriages, and continue the good things only God can do! (Also, keep in mind, Timothy said: "most of the guys" in the course got his kind of results... just wild.) Listen to hear more. Love & Blessings, Belah

If you are wondering why she won't initiate or she doesn't have passion when you do... Here are a few things you may be missing. Too many men reach out to me and work with me that need this. If we really believe the Bible, then its instruction will solve the "unsatisfied sexually" dilemma in your marriage too! Spoiler alert: Being the spiritual leader is a turn-on for your wife! Here's why. Maybe it didn't matter to her early in your relationship, why would it matter now? Here's how. What does being the spiritual leader mean? What would help her to feel like you're filling that role? And here are practical insights to give grace that will motivate her. I fall prey to the issues all women fall prey to which cause us to lose focus on priorities. How do you help her in a way that motivates and does not repel or bring distance between you two? You'll also hear from a missionary in a hard-to-reach country about how his marriage lacked passion and frequency, but he shares what he was getting wrong and how you can get it right. Also, that missionary went through the free masterclass back 3ish months ago. It's accepting registrants again so, if you're not yet signed up, the free men's masterclass is coming up next week Monday, July 19 - Wednesday 21! Register asap. This only happens a couple of times a year, so I encourage your o put it on your calendar and be sure you're registered! After the free masterclass, you'll have the option to enroll in the full, 3-month Masculinity Reclaimed program, opening July 22. So sign up for the free masterclass, and you'll get all the details to sign up for the Masculinity Reclaimed program! Blessings, Belah PS - The free masterclass starts July 19 at 11am, and the free masterclass trainings will be available for about one week.

Coming up on their 35th wedding anniversary, Kim didn't even want to celebrate. "I don't like you.... I don't want to be mean, but I don't want to lie either". And Kim definitely didn't want Russ to listen to my material. Because she didn't want him to think more about sex than he already did. But, after taking the Free Men's Masterclass, Russ felt God told him to go forward with the paid Masculinity Reclaimed program... without her knowledge. He felt (at least at first) it'd be better for her not to doubt his changes were sincere and not just to "get sex," plus he admitted his motivations became more sincere as he went through the program. But now she knows... And I'm excited for you to hear what happened at their anniversary just several days before this recording. How their marriage, intimacy, and kids have changed. And what SHE thinks about it all now. If you're suffering in your marriage with pain, feeling unloved, I think hearing from Kim's perspective what changed in her husband that drew her to him and transformed their marriage, will help you have faith for your own. This is real life and there's time is still required for trust and healing -- but you can tell they are well on their way and there is an openness that only God could have created. Love and Blessings, Belah PS - 1) Announcement: The Free Men's Masterclass: Passionize Your Marital Intimacy (even if you're the only one doing the work) is happening July 19, 20 & 21. So, I encourage you to get registered and mark your calendar because it's only live for 1 week. Assume each day's lesson requires 1 hour, including homework. I was speaking to some men yesterday who took the Free Men's Masterclass and they emphatically told me about how valuable it was. Some men have been signed up for months. If you're registered, mark your calendar to be sure you dedicate the time to go through it. 2) Announcement: For those of you who have been waiting for me to reopen enrollment for the paid program... The Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy, and love being married again, enrollment opens on July 22! The free men's masterclass I mentioned above provides awesome value and insight and if you want to go deeper and see dramatic transformation... Join the full Masculinity Reclaimed (MR) is enrolling July 22 -- sign up for the masterclass to get all the information. The MR program will occur July 29 - Oct 28, 2021. To find out all the details, enroll in the free men's masterclass :)

Today's topic is a topic that I hear a lot about from men and women. I'm addressing men because I think there is a lot of misunderstandings about what turns a woman on. I want to give you some practical help. I'm not mincing words here (though I do make up my own--if you're a long-time listener you understand. :) This may be some of my best guidance for men, and so I hope you listen with a pen and paper. But women may never have been able to articulate their challenges before, and this may give them language for it... - What matters to her in orgasm - How to tease - How to make her enjoy the experience - Why she doesn't now Men, I believe this could transform your intimacy if you let it. Blessings, Belah PS If you like this, I have a FREE Men's Masterclass coming up Monday, July 19, Tuesday, July 20, & Wednesday, July 21. This is a great effort for me and my whole team (including interactive coursework and an opportunity to win discounts or free coaching with me). Some men have been waiting for this to reopen for months, so register now and add Mon.-Wed., July 19 - 22, to your calendar. (Assume each lesson is about 1 hour -- for the lesson & homework). delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass

Life is messy. Things get busy. Our focus can get on things that just don't matter. But... We get to start over. We can take a breath. We can reach to see God's perspective. What does He think about this situation? What matters to Him most in this difficulty? I don't think we can see His perspective unless we're well-rested. Unless we "come to Me all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest." It's a discipline to come to Him...to receive His rest. It's a discipline to not fill your schedule, mind space, sad moments, loneliness, or even the spots of boredom with things that crowd out our possibility to ponder God's perspective on it. Because God has a totally different perspective on our lives than we do. We all get off-base. Loving our spouses the way they receive love isn't natural. We're seeking to do something supernatural when we love our spouses well. So if you are noticing you're falling on your face while trying to do that, or you've gotten off track in loving them well... God wants you to rest, refocus and get back out there -- He is rooting for you. All is not lost, He is refining you on the path and in the ways He chooses. Today's podcast goes into how to rest, how I rest, how I refocus, and how I suggest you "start over" in your marriage and all other areas of your life. Blessings, Belah PS - If you haven't looked yet, there are really fantastic free resources at delightyourmarriage.com/free!

She wanted nothing to do with touch, much less intimacy. For years. She loved the Lord and it took a journey for Him to bring her to a place where she was ready to receive teaching around the importance of intimacy. When Dana felt like her marriage was all but broken and then God took her on a journey and helped her to see what was missing in their marriage. They hadn't made love (at all) for years. And when she took the Free Women's Masterclass the Holy Spirit spoke to her and completely transformed her marriage in a week! And this is her story of transfomration. From being repelled by his touch to craving intimacy with her hubby! Blessings, Belah PS - If you'd like to take the Free Women's Masterclass that Dana speaks about it's available here for a limited time! delightyourmarriage.com/sc PPS - If you're a husband who is hoping and praying for your wife to have this kind of transformation, let's see how we can help you. Fill out a Clarity Call application so you can speak to a DYM Clarity Advisor -- someone who was in your shoes and the Delight Your Marriage programs changed their marriage and life: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

"It's part of life." But it really is, IF we're growing. If we numb and distract ourselves away from God's growth opportunities, we can really get off track. When you have made a mistake, own it, apologize for it, learn from it, and tether yourself to Christ BECAUSE of it. We can't do this on our own. We're not supposed to. And if you think you can, sin is probably getting in there. When you make a mistake it is a grace. "It is His kindness that leads us to repentance." Romans 2:4 How cool is it that he redirects us on THIS side of eternity. Accept a failure as a gift. A gift to grow. A gift to say "never again". A gift to completely change everything. A gift to make an important tweak. A gift to make a life-altering habit change. (Yes, habits alter our lives... more on that another time!) Bravo to you for growing. Bravo to you for listening to God's leadership. "His ROD and His staff, comfort me." Psalms 23:4 His rod is his direction and redirection -- we get to be comforted by the fact that He will not let us go off the path into danger. If we allow his rod which is firm and instructive to guide us. Listen in for encouragement and the knowledge that your failure is a GOOD opportunity for God's work in you. Blessings, Belah PS - If you're ready to see how God can transform your marriage possibly through a DYM program, you can sign up for a FREE Clarity Call with me or a member of my team here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc If you were looking for marriage counseling, you would first have a consultation to see if you'd be the right fit. That's what a Clarity Call is. But the real value you get is seeing what's under the surface in your relationship and discerning what God wants in your marriage and life. Would love to have you on! delightyourmarriage.com/cc

When she says, "We just don't communicate," or "You never listen,"...she is talking about this learnable skill. Listen to her heart. Listen to understand. Listen to let her know you understand and care. Not listening to respond or even defend yourself. It is to listen to her emotions and sit with her in her pain. To be curious and to give her a safe space to share. When she shares her emotions (her heart) vulnerably, you are witnessing courage. You are on sacred ground. Tread carefully and gently. For Mother's Day, just the other weekend -- Did I get diamonds? A weekend getaway at a fancy resort? A stainless steel, 14-quart Instant Pot Duo Mini 7-in-1 Electric Pressure Cooker? I mean... Sure those would have been good gifts. But... what I got was priceless: Hours of his full attention. He got excited about what I shared. He cared about what matters to me -- how I'm growing, how I was feeling, and genuinely wanted to hear more. He noticed my feelings -- wanted to hold space for them -- and held me emotionally... And...well...did what I teach you to do in today's episode. It was far more fulfilling than those other things ever could be. (Just FYI, when he surprised me with my favorite wine, beautiful glasses, roses, and sitting together in a gorgeous spot in Central Park...that did add to the intimately fulfilling conversation. :) Blessings, Belah PS If you'd like to have a conversation with me or a member of my team about what's going on in your marriage and see if one of my programs can help you, apply for a Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc Delight Your Marriage has been awarded in the Top 30 Relationship Podcasts for 2018, 2019, 2020 & 2021! "Through working with Belah, my marriage is saved and thriving, and I am forever changed and grateful."

It's ok to not feel amazing in your marriage all the time. This is real life and sometimes things happen. Someone gets sick. Someone is tired. Someone was selfish. Someone wasted away their entire Saturday watching superhero movies and didn't feel like being an intentionally seductive tigress. (This last one was definitely me). Your spouse is wonderful, but even in the best marriage there will be moments of the negative side of the wave. And that's ok. That's normal. If you're a 2 out of 10 and on the best days you're a 4 out of 10... I want you to get to a 9 out of 10 and the bad days are just a 7 out of 10. So, get your marriage to a better spot but when you're up there in your healthiness, expect waves. Also, if you want to work with Belah to get your marriage healthy (up your marriage to an 9 or 10), find out more by getting on a call with her or a member of her team to see if it's a good fit. Fill out an application here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

If you've ever seen a headline (one of mine or someone else's), "They did [this] and got [this]" you may have experienced a "transactional trigger". My motivation is to attract people who need transformation in their marriages. What I call "missional marketing", some may call "bait and switch", which is kind of true, too. You may be someone who came for a certain outcome, but you listened and found out that to get that [thing], you have to change who you are - including your motivations. For many, it works (by God's grace). But, initially, it may have triggered transactional thinking for you. This can lead you to believe that you're guaranteed a certain result if you do [X] for your spouse. Here's what I hope for you. I hope that you'll start your journey with an expectation of an incredible marriage and sex life and end your journey with a completely different set of motivations: to love your spouse the way Jesus loves them. Unconditionally. Whether they do X or not, you get to love them the way Jesus does. The cool thing is... Humans are designed to respond very differently to unconditional love. Humans heal. Humans let down their guard. Humans start to act differently when they know the rug won't be pulled out from under them at any moment. The desperation ends. Peace and freedom begin. And marriage can become pretty amazing. BUT your motivation should be to love your spouse unconditionally and enjoy--every moment--every smile--every laugh--every miscommunication--every peculiar habit--enjoy life alongside this wonderful God-designed being you get to love. Blessings, Belah PS - Loads of free downloads here: delightyourmarriage.com/free Delight Your Marriage has been awarded in the Top 30 Relationship Podcasts for 2018, 2019, 2020 & 2021! "Through working with Belah, my marriage is saved and thriving, and I am forever changed and grateful." We work through recommendations---if you've been impacted by our work, please consider helping another couple by sending them to delightyourmarriage.com

In our family, we are going through some important paradigm shifts around parenting - through a coach, articles, books, etc. It's great! It's also hard to look at the mistakes. The truth is that it is hard to change. It is not only difficult to do things differently, but it also takes courage. It takes courage to say, "You know what? I was doing things wrong and now I'm going to do it better." It's vulnerable and can feel excruciating - very! But it is strength, not weakness, to change. God is a good God and He will lead you when and how He wants you to change. There are times the enemy will use those genuine convictions from God as opportunities to take you into a tailspin of self-doubt/self-loathing...don't let him! Here are some fantastic tools to give you more insight to help you change faster without the issue of depression that you've done it wrong for so long. That's the beauty of Jesus...He is leading you. He is guiding you. He is revealing what He wants to reveal to you in the season He wants you to learn it. We can trust Him on that. The fact that you're willing to "go there" means you're already on the right track! Blessings, Belah PS - If you leave an iTunes review and send me a screenshot, I'd happily send you a couple of free trainings from some of my best-selling courses! If you're not sure how to do this, find out how at delightyourmarriage.com/itunes

Duty sex" or "lazy or selfish husband". These are phrases I hear a lot. And it's sad. It's certainly not what a good and loving marriage should be. "Duty sex" often means a wife's body might be present during physical intimacy, but her mind and enthusiasm are far, far away. These are painful to a man's heart. And "lazy or selfish husband" is usually the man who from her perspective takes her for granted--the romantic getaways, surprises and special gifts or experiences are long gone and his character is abysmal. These are painful to a woman's heart. It comes down to our discipline to change these parts of ourselves. Feelings are important and God-given. They get to be acknowledged, drained, and let go. They are important, and you can curiously listen to them (in yourself and others), but at the end of the day they don't get to "drive your bus"--your values do. In this episode, both husbands and wives will be edified to become more aware of their own gaps of discipline which is causing their feelings to go in the wrong direction. And I'll share the important and generally unusual disciplines that will get your feelings on track to pursue God's will for your life in the context of your marriage. Blessings, Belah PS If you write a review on iTunes, I'd love to send you some free trainings! Post a review and send me a screenshot - find out how at delightyourmarriage.com/itunes

I talk a lot about success stories. To inspire you that transformation can happen and God does it all the time! But this is really all about unconditional love. That your actions and words towards your spouse are "I love you no matter what." Why is that such a difficult posture to take with our spouse? I think our culture and society teaches us to compare, wrong ways of interacting with our spouse and a very "I won't do that unless you do this." So, this podcast episode is to... 1-Remind you that you're doing a really good job at a hard thing. The fact that you're listening in means you want to do this God's way--and I'm proud of you! 2-Remind you that this is all about loving the way Jesus loves. 3-What to cut out of your life that may be getting in the way of you doing this. Bravo to you. Love, Belah

2 Different Stories: 1 - Norm's wife shared that she wanted to end the marriage. That she didn't like or love him anymore. ​ He prayed fervently, listened to, and read lots of resources (including to all of mine :), but he didn't realize he was missing some key components that were actually undermining the good he was doing. ​ He joined Masculinity Reclaimed (MR) because he wanted the marriage that he heard from other MR Graduates had. He shares the specifics of what he did that made the difference in his marriage: ​ "A complete 180...our marriage is completely reborn, everything is wonderful...she's pursuing me now." ​ Before frequency was 1x a month and often ending in an argument. But now she comes to him and it's about 3x a week. And it's open and loving with awesome visuals and freedom from her. ​ She didn't know he did the program. And still doesn't know. But she says she's "in love" with him now! ​ He said "It's never been like this in our entire marriage" in intimacy and every other way. -- Here's another story of God's transformation from a different marriage: 2 - Hope has been a part of DYM for 4 years. And now she's part of the Intimate Freedom program which includes Grad Groups. She helps to clarify the confidential space of Grad Groups and invites you to join the journey with other ladies. And how the philosophies of DYM have changed her and what she thinks about this program for her and other women. -- Enrollment of the men's and women's programs closes on Thursday at 11:59pmEST. Join now! delightyourmarriage.com/enroll

ANNOUNCEMENT: For those of you already registered for the FREE Masterclass---they are being released at 7pmEST, TODAY. Or sign up here: delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass -- About 15-20% of couples are "sexless" meaning very few instances of intimacy per year. When I work with these couples it's evident that both people are hurting. ​​And often the husband doesn't realize he's injuring his wife on a daily basis which prevents her from coming towards him in intimacy... which leads us to Paul's powerful testimony of Jesus' work in his marriage. This conversation is such a joy because you can't help but be in awe of God after listening. Lyle and his wife had been married 35 years. And unfortunately, many of those years were sexless. Though they spent 21 years in counseling, tens of thousands of dollars on counseling, they had experienced separations and he said they were housemates and often adversaries. "The year before your course, we had sex 4 times" and as he puts it there was no intimacy, just "sex". He decided to take the leap of faith and enroll in the Masculinity Reclaimed program. He worked for 3 months. But he saw changes even after the first meeting. His heart changed. He started to see her as an incredible woman again. Something he hadn't been able to see for many years. And his wife started noticing his changes and liking them! And then they started making love! Enthusiastically and regularly! And even a few months after the program (and him still implementing what he learned!) SHE suggested they make love every week in a playful and positive way. They went from housemates to friends and lovers. Lovemaking increased in all ways, but as Lyle mentioned it is reflective of their entire relationship improving. And she didn't even know he was doing the program, because he didn't want her to think his efforts to change their marriage were selfish or all about sex. When he did share it with her a couple of months after the program, not only was she glad he did it, but she also said she was glad he didn't tell her. Otherwise, she would have been suspect. I grilled Lyle pretty hard on this point because it's a question I get from husbands a lot. They want to take the program but feel they need to involve their wives. But Lyle wonders how about planning a surprise for your wife--a birthday party for example. It's also a secret, but a good secret. And one your wife will THANK you for later. You'll be encouraged by Lyle's testimony. You can have hope of transformation. Truly you can. The burdens of rejection, stress, and oppression were gone and instead were replaced with creativity, energy, and LIFE. Intimacy can be hard to navigate especially when your marriage seems to be falling to pieces, but by God's grace, it does not have to stay that way. Listen in to this amazing testimonial of God's transformation! And Lyle gives plenty of advice and encouragement for you! Blessings, Belah PS Today is the day for the FREE Masterclass! One for men or the other one for women, go to delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass (It'll be available for just a few days.) It's released at 7pmEST today!

Have you ever felt like your intimacy was just a duty that needed to be marked off the "to-do" list? What about that sex was great physically but emotionally it was empty? Or, have you gone to bed wondering why this amazing, God-given thing is causing so much strife in your marriage? Kyle & Ali were both there at one point in their marriage… Ali saw sex as a "thing" that was constantly there pestering her. She was intimate with her husband to please him and only him. Their children noticed that their marriage was suffering. They were not emotionally connected, so they were not acting as a team. They communicated solely to run their family. But then... They took a leap of faith and joined the Delight Your Marriage men's program and women's program! Now Ali loves communication and their home is a "peaceful and cozy environment." The pressure is gone and she feels the freedom to initiate. Intimacy is a priority now and not just another chore to be done. In fact, she shares,s, "I desire sex now! I didn't think I'd ever say that." Kye hated that his wife did not seem to desire him or intimacy at all. He spent a lot of time discouraged so he struggled to be fully present as a husband, father, or friend. He did not understand why this God-given thing was causing so much stress in his marriage. He wanted to enjoy intimacy and for Ali to actually desire it. After their Delight Your Marriage programs, they both discovered the missing link to their chain. ​​Kyle described their intimacy as being a 10 out of 10 now! ​ He began loving his wife the way Christ loves the church in practical ways and now intimacy is no longer a duty, but instead, it's full of mutual service and love. To hear the way God is truly using these programs to transform lives is such a testament to His goodness and faithfulness. ​Be sure to join in; you don't want to miss it!

Anne and Glenn lived in a blissful honeymoon state at the beginning of their relationship, until their relationship quit growing and grew stale. They described it as being stuck in winter. Anne felt like intimacy was an obligation and sex felt forced. She did not feel emotionally connected and he did not feel physically connected, so the suffering began.... and stayed for over two decades. The power of a praying wife… God touched Glen and caused him to start a journey to better himself and turn his marriage around. He stumbled upon a Delight Your Marriage podcast and shortly afterward signed up for Masculinity Reclaimed. In fact, at 3am God prompted him to sign up… and he's glad he did! He discovered how to date his wife again, how to connect deeper, how to forgive, and how to be vulnerable in his marriage. Not only did Anne begin to notice the changes, but so did their daughter and son! The trickle effect continued when Anne decided to take the Delight Your Marriage, Intimate Freedom course. She gained confidence in herself and for the first time in a long time, intimacy was fun! She found her femininity and felt like she could truly be herself because the emotional trust was there. She challenges us listeners: if you are not going forward, you are going backward. It is your choice. Tune in to hear this amazing testimonial. It will inspire faith--no matter how long your marriage has been "this way" it can change! Blessings, Belah PS If you'd like to join the free masterclass coming up March 25 for men or the other one for women, go to delightyourmarriage.com/masterclass (It'll be free for a limited time) If you'd like to find other free resources go to delightyourmarriage.com/free

If you want your marriage to change... this is required. Faith. Faith that it will change. But how do you even get there? How does it relate to your life? I have some extremely practical ways for you to have a renewed sense of faith that things can change. Keep in mind, if you don't have faith things will change---undoubtedly they never will. It is so easy to compare our lives and our circumstances to those around us. Add on plenty of cultural norms that make negativity almost an expectation. That becomes the breeding ground for anxiety, worry, depression, and angst to grow. But God has called us to live a life full of joy and abundance even in our marriage and intimacy. Join me as we discover the deeper meaning of faith, what having a disciplined mindset means, and how to visualize positivity for our lives in the middle of a hard season. Blessings, Belah PS If you'd like to join the FREE training for women all about confidence in intimacy — which will be available for a limited time — go to delightyourmarriage.com/sc If you'd like to be included in the FREE Men's Masterclass: Passionize Your Marital Intimacy---even if you're the only one who works: delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining This is very interactive, so you don't want to miss it!

Today's interview is with Jeremiah, a graduate of my Masculinity Reclaimed program. They had a pretty good marriage. And originally their sex life was pretty good, but life happened… Like many of my listeners, once kids came into the picture things began to deteriorate in that department. She no longer felt emotionally connected and he no longer felt fulfilled intimately. Jeremiah realized he was only getting out of his marriage what he was putting into it; it was not actually all her fault. So, he set out on a journey of self exploration, enrolled in Masculinity Reclaimed, learned how to emotionally connect with his wife, and slowly but surely progress began to follow. At one point he basically says -- honestly, I thought the men you interviewed of their success through your program were paid actors… until it happened to our sex life! But most importantly he shares in this episode the specific shifts he made in himself that transformed their intimacy. Join me as we dive into how Jeremiah went from somewhat stale and obligatory intimacy to deep, emotionally fulfilling lovemaking (where she initiated even 2x in one day!) Be inspired--be encouraged--get motivated! Blessings, Belah PS If you're a man, you'll really want to sign up for this free training "Men's Masterclass" at the end of March 2021 at delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining If you're a woman you can attend a free class all about confidence in intimacy — which will be available for a limited time go to delightyourmarriage.com/sc If you'd like to find other free resources go to delightyourmarriage.com/free

Frequently, men are craving intimacy more than their wives. If you're in that category, then this podcast will help you. I have some very important lifestyle and in-the-moment advice for you when you are in the mood but she is not. These are productive things you can do. And if you know me at all, I'm rooting for generous and fiery passion in your marriage, but... how do you get there? Some of my advice may seem like it's not moving you in that direction. However, you may be surprised that when you become more the man God wants you to become--in the context of your marriage--your wife naturally is drawn to that. Intimately. Lots of goodness in this podcast and I think it will help a lot of men get a vision of how to shift things long-term and even in the moment when they are desiring her. Blessings, Belah PS... For the free Men's Training coming at the end of March, go to delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining For the free advice training for men who want to invite their wives to listen to DYM, go to delightyourmarriage.com/advice

Sex motivates us to be the men and women He wants us to be. Men have to discipline themselves to be more like Jesus for her to want to have sex with him. For a woman to desire sex, she has to be at peace, confident, and aligned with God's priorities in who/what gets her time. So, this podcast is directed towards women because often women are the organizers and they are the ones who tend to struggle to have passion. But what if there was a way to actually organize your life so that passion is a consistent desire and fulfilling activity? That's what I want to talk to you about. As Jesus followers, we are invited to do things that aren't the societal norms. I think that passion for women is fairly "natural" for the first 2-3 years of a relationship/marriage. And after that it requires intentionality. She just stops feeling it... nothing against that specific husband necessarily, she switches to life, busyness, mom - mode. And the attracting-that-guy-mode which heightened libido fades. BUT! As a wife you can organize your life, your thoughts, and your pursuits in a way that causes you to desire sex, but it requires intentionality for women. I vowed that on our wedding day, and it will never be negotiable. That's called exercising faithfulness to my marriage vows. Is it a "duty"? That's a gross way of thinking about loving a person---not to mention the most important person of your life. Is a husband accepting, encouraging, and listening to his wife's heart a duty? It would be gross if that's how he thought of it. But, both are expectations of faithfulness as a married person. Both are opportunities for them to bless each other and fulfill God's will at the same time. Blessings, Belah PS If you'd like to join the free training for women all about confidence in intimacy -- which will be available for a limited time -- go to delightyourmarriage.com/sc If you'd like to find other free resources go to delightyourmarriage.com/free

Darcy is a busy business owner, mother, and grandmother--married 28 years. She loves God and has had a better than average marriage all that time. A friend of hers invited her to listen to the podcast--saying it had brought them to tears. And when she listened, she too was brought to tears with a very different understanding of intimacy than she had ever realized. God did an utter miracle in her heart and her marriage. For days she had a voracious appetite for intimacy with her husband. She says it gave her insight into how a man feels all the time. And she feels a oneness with him she's never felt previously. Her husband changed! His low-grade depression disappeared! He is becoming a better father and man of faith. He is thriving before her eyes. Their daughter even asked: "Mom, what happened to dad??" If you're a wife, I encourage you to listen with an open heart. God may want to speak to you through Darcy's story of love for Jesus. Which fueled a change of heart towards her husband. I encourage you, if you know someone who may need to hear this story, send this to them. That's how Darcy's life changed. Someone had the courage to share it with her! God bless you, Belah PS - I have MANY free resources! I would love to invite you to check them out: delightyourmarriage.com/free

I love new years because everything feels fresh and energized. Even though practically speaking it's the same as every other day, you just have to start training yourself to use a new number at the end of your dates. But I am all about using whatever energy there is to increase my chances of growth and change--in God's will. So, that's what today's podcast is about. Becoming stronger in your vision. It's about realizing that you're going to stand before Jesus and He'll be curious what you did with your days, which lead to weeks, which lead to years and then decades. We must be cautious about how we spend our time, and spend it in priority to God's will. I will show you the specific document I have used since 2013 and review at least quarterly to align my life with how I perceive God wants me to live. I will also discuss the process I use to discern God's will for my life every quarter. Because I think we need to be considering God's will consistently in our lives and move towards it more and more every day. I think you'll love the conversation and I look forward to hearing from you! Blessings, Belah PS, if you'd like the free resource I mentioned to help you understand how to love your spouse the way they are craving, go to delightyourmarriage.com/framework

There are too many marriages flirting with divorce. You may be one, if not you probably know several. Maybe you're at a spot where you don't want to be there. ...you want to run away. ...you're exhausted. ...your spirit is broken. Maybe you've only ever thought it or maybe you've admitted it to others. I want to invite you to take the power you have to see that there may be a real strategy to get this thing turned around. The podcast I released is a roadmap on how to get to a place this thing turned aroundce where you maybe, could possibly want to stay married. It's not easy when you have been beaten down, neglected, rejected, controlled... What can you do? I want to give you 5 Steps that if followed in order, can quite possibly save your marriage and actually make you want to stay in it! I don't have to convince you that your life (your kids' lives...) would be better if your marriage became healthy and loving again. I hope you'll take the encouragement to focus on this and make these important changes. Blessings, Belah If you want to find out about my live coaching & accountability programs... For wives: Intimate Freedom (accepting enrollment now) or For husbands: Masculinity Reclaimed (accepting enrollment in mid-March) you can email me at [email protected] Sign up for the free PDF Framework here: www.delightyourmarriage.com/framework

When we have a warm, loving culture in a family, passionate intimacy is the result. Or is it the cause? -- If you're listening to this in the present, our world is in many challenges and the holidays may look different than they ever have for your family. How can we see this as a gift? If you're a husband... ​-you have an opportunity to shift the culture of your marriage to one that attracts your wife towards frequency, engagement, and freedom in intimacy. If you're a wife... ​-you have an opportunity to shift your intimate interactions to one which attracts your husband to be a man of the fruits of the spirit, romantic, and the spiritual leader. Either party can make important changes. ​​But changes are hard and risky. Risking looking silly. Risking being laughed at or judged because this is outside of your "norm". ​​Luckily in the midst of the challenge, there is a huge opportunity to redefine your "norm". Redefine the culture of your marriage. ​ ​​Making a culture that actually brings you two together rather than tears you two apart. That's my invitation today: look at this challenge as a gift. During a challenge, everything can change. ​​ You can use this as a jumping-off point for your entire marital culture to change: warmth, laughter, playfulness, and safety as well as passion, freedom, and frequency in intimacy. This challenge is truly a​​n opportunity for dramatic changes in your marriage. ​​ Love and blessings, Belah PS - Husbands, I have advice for you if you'd like to get your wife involved in my material: www.delightyourmarriage.com/advice PPS - Wives, I have a Free (for now) training for you about Seductive Confidence... head over to delightyourmarriage.com/sc

My conversation today is with a wife who had a persistent husband. After he worked on himself (!) he highly encouraged her to work with me in a program. At first, she wasn't happy about it and she felt pushed into it. But through the process of understanding who her husband is... different than who she is, she discovered that God may be asking of her something that she didn't expect. For wives: if you feel "pushed," (assuming there's not abuse and your husband is a good man) Diana's encouragement is to come at it with an open mind. "What do you have to lose? ...Your marriage" I believe this conversation is one you won't want to miss! For wives... Right now I have FREE training series for wives: Seductive Confidence, you can get it at delightyourmarriage.com/sc (Be sure to sign up right now so you can have access to the training!) For husbands: here's some free advice if you'd like to invite your wife to listen to my trainings: delightyourmarriage.com/advice

This is part 2 with my husband where we're talking about what seduction means to men. Husbands: I encourage you to "catch" my husband's heart. That's what's so attractive. That spirit is what encourages me to be generous in the ways my husband desires. If you want more insight, on how to introduce your wife to my material, I have a special FREE Advice for Men To Invite Their Wives training. Wives: If you're a wife and want to get access to a FREE training called Seductive Confidence Masterclass. I am excited to encourage more women to grow in their God-given right to be free, playful, and loving through intimacy! Blessings, Belah

Hi there, Today is extra special because I have on the most amazing man I've ever met. Ehemm... my husband. :) If you want to know why I am the way I am (well, regarding the generous things in intimacy), it's because this gentleman loved me really, really well and continues to every day. It's not necessarily intuitive, but it is God's way. This conversation will be instructive for wives -- who feel insecure and challenged by seduction -- and husbands -- who want to be pursued with playful and fierceness. For men - You'll find out that gentleness and compassion are the keys to her heart as well as specifically what to say to her that makes her want to make you happy intimately. For women - You'll hear from a really good man, what seduction means to him and why it's important. If you'd like to get a free download of some of my favorite seduction tips, you can go to delightyourmarriage.com/tips and you'll be signed up for the Free Training on Seductive Confidence coming soon! Blessings, Belah

As a wife, this is something I really struggled with. Why would he want me to do such embarrassing things? Does it remind him of sin? I don't want to be associated with his past. Also, it's not my personality. And in general, I'm not comfortable. I had SO many more hang-ups around this. But, one thing kept knawing at me. Why is this all over our society? Specifically seduction. Yes, the act is in certain movies and x-rated things that I don't watch. But seduction is almost unavoidable (even in PG-13 movies). Whether it's a glance, a teasing, and revealing advertisement...it's everywhere and unavoidable. It's in every culture all around the world. Yesterday, I received an email that Delight Your Marriage is ranked as the #1 Podcast in the categories of Sexuality as well as the category of Health & Wellness in several African countries which (is really cool!) means that culture doesn't make a difference. These philosophies go across cultures and all over the globe. Why does seduction matter? This podcast is directed at wives, but if you are a husband I think you'll get a glimpse of what's holding her back. Get the Seduction Tips here and a free training on this! www.delightyourmarriage.com/tips

If you're new to Delight Your Marriage, this is the first episode you should listen to. Many people come to my resources with a question on how to make their marriage better but they really don't know where to start. This is a rundown on the most important philosophical underpinnings of Delight Your Marriage. This gives the best introduction to the foundational principles that I use with people from all over the world--by God's grace--to transform their marriages and families. Just a few things included: What a husband needs and what a wife needs to feel fulfilled in a marriage Why intimacy is so important to a husband and that's reflected in the brain's physiology Why, I believe, God made men & women's drives so different The underlying reasons emotional and physical intimacy isn't strong in a marriage When people are struggling in their marriage they often get advice which makes it all worse. What's the missing piece? Strategy. Listen in and go to delightyourmarriage.com/resources to find out about all the courses I offer to totally transform your marriage! There are courses for husbands or wives to receive the love you're craving in your marriage. Blessings, Belah

So, today's a pretty important day. And you may listen to this in the future which will be relevant. More than ever, our land is divided and we have strong convictions on right and wrong. In Jesus' day political issues based on power, oppression, greed, and con... plagued everyone he interacted with. They were impacted at a personal level. Jesus' sights were different than those experiencing political suffering. He taught us how to love from our hearts. He brought enemies together to pursue God's kingdom over an earthly kingdom. I don't know what is going to happen in this election. I know I voted according to my convictions. More importantly, I know that if the other side wins, God is still my King. He is bigger than me. His timeline is far bigger than the number of years I am on this earth. So, if the next 4 years needs to look different than I hoped, I will not take that out on God. Because He knows better than I do. Instead, I will pray for those who I might consider enemies right now. I will also live in thanksgiving. It is a command far too often in the Bible for me to ignore. I encourage you to not let your heart be troubled. I encourage you to look like Jesus in this time. Remember when Peter cut off the ear of the soldier coming to take Jesus to kill him (some might say "self-defense")---Jesus rebuked Peter and healed the soldier. I don't know what God is up to necessarily, but I trust Him. And I will be faithful to His teachings even now. If suffering is going on in your marriage, this exact message applies to you. Having hope, faith, and love--even now. It's a choice. A hard one. But the right one. Blessings, Belah

Hi there! I hope things are going well for you. I have an inspirational story to share with you today. It's a story of challenge and ultimately hope and healing. Alexis and Justin (re-definingnormal.com) grew up in homes that had significant abuses, including sexual and drug abuse. By societal expectations, they wouldn't have gotten through that pain. But God intervened. Both went through the foster care system and by God's grace, amazing things have changed for them. AND they're now founders of organizations that help others who have gone through similar challenges. They've written a book about their story and today, we focus on how Justin helped his wife heal from her trauma by his reliance on the Lord. My encouragement is to listen in and be encouraged and inspired to continue your journey. And I think it will encourage you that people like Justin and Alexis are doing amazing things for people---Jesus' hands in the earth. Check out all the links we reference here! Blessings, Belah PS I have some resources for women coming (I know I focused on the men for a while) so I encourage you to get the 6 Tips for Seduction here: delightyourmarriage.com/tips

I'd like to give you a view of communication that isn't repressing feelings but also isn't open with all of them, at least not all at once. And when you are open slowly, you are in a way that encourages the good rather than discouraging everything. I think in our fast-paced society nowadays, we feel this inappropriate pressure to share all the feelings we have about a topic (sex is a big one!) with our spouse because we need to get that checked off of our mental burden list. Or we need to finally unload or get it off our chest. So we pile on all these painful complaints, criticisms, and unacknowledged feelings all at once. And it causes huge divisions between partners and can take years to heal, if at all. My encouragement in today's podcast is to think of your relationship not as a 30-minute conversation but as a 90-year conversation. There is no need to address everything right now. There is a need to be respectful, kind, gentle, grateful, and loving in all your communication with your spouse. When that is your "normal," then there is an opportunity to strategically place encouragements towards a general movement in a direction that is important to you. "But that could take months, even years." Luckily, you have that. And you are strong enough to shift things slowly but surely in the right direction. The shocking thing is if you are disciplined and you are careful, it may take way less time than you think. One important piece is you can make yourself happy during that time and happier as you wisely encourage and compliment in the direction you desire. (More on that in the podcast). This is giving the truth in love. We don't need to rhetorically cut each other because we're lazy or we're "good at fighting." We can be gentle, humble, meek, self-disciplined, and patient with the truth--even in response to our partner's accusations. This way is harder and requires Jesus' strength and character, but it will actually move you farther faster. The other can set you back for years to come and may undermine the very thing you're trying to improve. I hope you'll listen to this podcast with an ear for what Jesus wants for your marriage and interactions in it. Blessings, Belah PS If you haven't yet rated and reviewed the podcast, I'd love to receive a screenshot and give you a $97-value training for men--for free! Send me a screenshot of your review to belah at delightyourmarriage.com If you're not sure how to do that and you listen vai iTunes, you can find out how at delightyourmarriage.com/itunes

Hi there, This podcast is for men (or the women who want to peer inside of hearts of men) it's all about the specific Stages to Sexual Freedom that a husband can employ to transform his marriage---even if he's the only one doing the work. If you're an action-taker once you know the process you're going to start and fix this once and for all, this is the podcast for you. I believe that those who listen will feel empowered to do what God wants them to do in their marriage to truly transform it. In the second half of the episode I'll be sharing more about the Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy, and love being married again program. We'll even hear from Vikas who went from a sex-starved frustrated marriage with a young child to a place where she often initiates 3+ times per week and she doesn't' even know he did the program. To learn more about the program he went through, go to delightyourmarriage.com/mrsp Blessings, Belah Enrollment is open now but won't be open for long. Find out all the details here: www.delightyourmarriage.com/mrsp

This interview is with a man who had suffered in intimacy in his marriage for 14 years. She had intense anxiety (I've been there!) and it made intimacy very difficult for both of them. Sex would happen maybe 1x a month, but it was never something they could talk about. And masturbation was something he turned to alleviate the loneliness. Now they make love 3x per week--and she initiates 90% of the time! That is a manifestation of both of their courage and healing for both of them. What happened? Well, it all started with Steve the rooster. This is a good story. So... Step #1 - Buy a rooster Step #2 - Invite your mom over Step #3 - Just kidding... :P But, there are fantastic keys in his story and the process they went through to get to the other side. One important note I share at the end: If you are a husband and you want your marriage transformed like Captain's be sure you... ...don't accidentally undermine your wife's confidence. That is exactly the topic I'll be speaking to on this weekend's Men's Masterclass. If you're not already, sign up for LIVE, FREE Men's Masterclass on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday! Looking forward to speaking with you soon! Love, Belah PS Don't forget to sign up for the LIVE, FREE Men's Masterclass, sign up here with me THIS weekend!

Hi there, Not sure if it was for you... but for me it was a whirlwind of a weekend. I put on a church conference on Saturday (in Spanish--eek!) which was scary, but God came through in an awesome way, which was so cool! Also, on Friday I had the chance to interview 3 different graduates from my Masculinity Reclaimed program. Today's podcast is of Charles. His story is hard to believe---but one that will surely give you hope. To be transparent, I have 2 ulterior motives for sharing his story: 1- To invite you to my Free & Live Men's Masterclass coming up really soon, sign up here: www.delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining My prayer is that men's lives are utterly and forever changed just by attending the Free Men's Masterclass Live. And possibly, deciding after that training to enroll in the Masculinity Reclaimed program, which is what Charles went through. But my plan on the Free Men's Masterclass is not going to be a "hide-the-ball" presentation, but to genuinely help your marriage turn around! 2- To listen to the man who came into marriage and throughout his marriage with sadly, huge measures of infidelity. And yet, God did an incredible work of grace and healing in their marriage---reflected in their intimacy. And now, he can scarcely believe what his wife is doing for him in intimacy. (Bucket-list, before-he-dies-type-stuff!) Wild, right? I think you won't believe it unless you hear it, here. Plus he drops some serious golden nuggets you can apply immediately to your marriage, that you won't want to miss. God is good! He gives great advice, and if you listen, he'll share some important keys that turned everything around.​​ Blessings, Belah PS Don't forget to sign up for the training now, so you don't forget! www.delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining You'll want to put that on your calendar and clear your weekend to make sure you can attend live!

Hi there, If you're going through hard times, this is particularly applicable because we need a lot of love right now. The right kind of compassion and care from our spouse and those around us. The best way to encourage your spouse is to attract them. I find it clear in the Bible that people have to be attracted towards Jesus by us living like him. Jesus did miracles and was compassionate to people before he ever rebuked them. Jesus dealt with people differently based on where they were spiritually. When someone was demon possessed he healed them and didn't rebuke them for dabbling in whatever caused the possession. However, when the rich young ruler who practiced righteousness--and clearly was at a different place spiritually--came and asked about eternal life, Jesus let him know he needed to give all he had to the poor. Jesus calls us higher, based on where we are right now. And it's unique to each individual. If he spoke to the demon-possessed man like he did the rich young ruler, the demon-possessed man wouldn't have been attracted to him. Instead, he loved that man the way he needed to be loved in that moment. And the man then followed Jesus and became an incredible evangelist of the gospel. My invitation is to attract your spouse not to force or push them the way you think will help them get to Jesus. When Jesus said the golden rule "so whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them." I think he means love them in what they need right now. In who they are. In the way they receive love. It was my birthday and I shared with my closest friends that I wouldn't appreciate gifts, but I would love letters and donations to World Vision. If a friend likes to get gifts on their birthday and decided to give me a gift, I wouldn't feel loved. I would feel like they didn't really care about me. So, I encourage you to love your spouse the way THEY receive love. What do they like? It's different for men and women. I share what specific differences between men and women in particular. Treat your partner the way they want to be loved. Because you would want them to do that for you, right? Love and blessings, Belah PS I'd love to invite you to join me at a Men's Masterclass at October 9 - 11, 2020 www.delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining