Delight Your Marriage

We're thrilled to share Craig's story with you today. For years, Craig and his wife were stuck in a painful cycle—"You always ____," "You never _____"—both keeping score, building walls of resentment, and matching hurt with hurt. Things seemed like they'd never change. Then, a friend from church mentioned the transformation he had experienced through Delight Your Marriage. Craig was skeptical at first, but as the months passed, he couldn't deny the remarkable shift in his friend's life. That's when Craig decided to take the first step and schedule a Clarity Call. What surprised him most was that the change didn't come from trying to fix his wife—it started with him. Within the first month, Craig embraced a new way of showing up: becoming "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger." Through his own transformation, the marriage began to heal. Today, Craig shares with joy that his children will never have to grow up in a divided home. The family tree will remain unbroken, with a straight and strong trunk—thanks to the tools, community, and growth Craig found through our program. We hope Craig's story reminds you that change is possible. It's possible to break free from arguments. It's possible to experience peace and joy in your marriage. And it's possible for God to rewrite your story in ways you never imagined. We believe in you, and we are cheering you on. Love, Belah & Team PS - If you want a change in your marriage like Craig had, with no more arguing and no more resentment, we would love to talk with you. Check out our free Clarity Call here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Check out this testimonial from (another) recent graduate: "My wife had her mind pretty much set on divorce. She said she had an upcoming meeting with an attorney when I first joined the program. My stress level was up, my appetite was pretty much nothing, and I couldn't sleep. [After MR}, I have grown spiritually, mentally, and feel more whole as a person. My wife and I have come to a place in our marriage where it used to be, like when we first got married. We are happy to be around each other again, can't wait to see each other at the end of the day, and have more connected conversations again."

We have the honor and privilege of sharing Lindsay's Transformation Story today. For years, she struggled with the pain of infidelity, unsure if she could ever trust her husband again. But when her husband decided to join the Masculinity Reclaimed program, the changes she saw in him stirred something in her heart. That's when she reached out, booked a free Clarity Call, and joined the Delighted Wife program. Through God's grace, their marriage has been completely transformed. Moments once marked by tension and fear have been replaced by playfulness and peace. She has rediscovered the joy of being with her husband, and together they are experiencing a marriage that has truly been redeemed by the Lord. We give all the glory to God for this incredible renewal. Time and time again, He proves that no situation is beyond His redemption. If you've felt hopeless about your marriage, let this story remind you that there is truly no relationship too far gone for Him to redeem. Love, Belah & Team PS - If you want to try our free Clarity Call like Lindsay did and talk with one of our Clarity Advisors, we would love to chat with you: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "Seven years ago, my husband began a 3 year affair with an employee… After a separation in our own home we each began our own counseling... After 4 years of marriage counseling and feeling stuck in a marriage that was barely hanging on, I discovered your program. I found hope for my marriage and began to see my husband in a different light. I was ready to quit, I had considered divorce. [Now], I am able to appreciate the small things my husband does, I am able to give compliments which he appreciates. I am practicing vulnerability and playfulness!... It's changed the way I see my husband."

Today's episode is an incredible story of God's transformative power. From a man who started out broken and lonely, with a history he wasn't proud of, God was able to take his little seed of faith, his little seed of hope that just maybe something could change for him, too. He decided to sign up for a free Clarity Call, and then to join our program. He went through the program once on his own. Eventually, his wife saw some changes in him and decided that she wanted to do the work to heal from their past. Ultimately, they both did the program at the same time, and praise the Lord, they are completely renewed and restored. You would not believe the description that Jim gives of their marriage today. He said that it's the way he always dreamed marriage could be. I hope this gives you encouragement, that you too, can have a marriage rescue no matter the past. God can redeem. If you'd like our help, we'd love to help you on a free Clarity Call. Delightyourmarriage.com/cc Love, Belah & Team PS There IS hope, dear one! Healing is what Jesus does! Bring it to Him and ask for His touch. Our programs can help with the healing process and equip you with the tools. Jesus does the rest! Take that step of faith...delightyourmarriage.com/cc. From someone who did: "Celebrating making it to 12 weeks when I thought I wouldn't make the course at all... GOD is great! ...Loving my husband again after infidelity on both sides - never in my wildest dreams did I think it was possible to find that love again and so quickly. The peace God has bestowed upon my marriage, life, house, and children since walking through this course... I love life and am dreaming again because God has brought healing to my marriage. It's like all the stop buttons that were pushed because I was out of alignment with God's will in my marriage have been pushed to GO/GREEN again and I feel more aligned, more focused, and things are moving again."

Is it true? Are you sure it's true? How often do we ask these questions when an anxious thought comes to our mind? Too often we allow ourselves to assume a thought is true and allow the anxiety to drive us to choices we don't want to make. Anxiety is fear. Stress is masked fear. And controlling or mothering behavior... yep... it's also fear. The Bible is crystal clear: Do not fear. Be anxious for nothing. If you want to break free from this snare, it starts with 1) calming your physical body 2) investigating the mental tapes playing in your mind. What anxious thoughts have you allowed to run your life? 'I'm not good enough' 'I'm a failure as a husband' "My husband doesn't love me" Whatever it is, I challenge you to investigate those thoughts. Get curious about your anxiety. When you work on acknowledging and understand your fears, you build the resilience needed to face them, biblically. It's not about denying the struggle; it's about leaning in and clarifying what is actually going on. This is a technique adapted from Byron Katie, and it is a series of questions you ask yourself. A - What mental tape am I repeating? B - Is it true? C - Am I absolutely sure it's true? There are a couple more steps we talk through in the podcast, which I'm very excited for you to listen to! May God give you grace to walk in His abundant peace and comfort. Love, Belah and Team PS - If you want help rewriting that mental tape and want help getting rooted in the truth of Scripture and your marriage, we would love to talk to you. Please contact us at delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "[Some of my] quick fire celebrations: -The peace God has bestowed upon my marriage, life, house, and children since walking through this course -The new refreshed hope I have in Jesus -Praying and reading my Bible and actually getting together with people who love and believe in Jesus. I was repulsed by Christians for a while but I now see value in community after doing this course. -The way I've grown to know what God thinks about marriage and life in general. He actually wants to make it easy and wants to help us not make us work hard or struggle like slaves for the sake of marriage. HE REALLY IS GOOD."

Have you ever felt so disconnected in your marriage that you wondered if it was worth fighting for? Kevin found himself in that very place—emotionally, spiritually, and physically distant from his wife. Harshness and criticism seemed to cloud their every interaction, leaving him discouraged and ready to give up. He felt his energy was drained and was unmotivated in many aspects of life. He took the courage to sign up and speak with Dana on a Clarity Call, he felt it gave him insights into himself and helped him discover what was at the root of their disconnection. He felt he wasn't the role model he'd want to be for his children. He had allowed his marriage to be transactional which he knew wasn't what God designed marriage to be. That's when he decided he wasn't giving his family all that he should and he signed up for the men's program. Through this journey, Kevin began to implement the daily gratitudes—a practice that sparked a profound shift in his mindset. He was encouraged through his Coaching Calls to stand firm as the spiritual leader he longed to be for his family, even amidst resistance. He finally feels he is spiritually leading his family. We are so proud of Kevin and know that the same change he saw in his marriage can happen with yours. As he shared with us, where there is breath, there is hope. We believe this podcast will encourage you that God CAN heal this marriage. He may be calling you to be the very one who does it, by changing yourself. Love, Belah & Team PS - If you are interested in a Clarity Call and speaking with one of our advisors as Kevin did, we would love to talk with you: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Here a quote from a (different) recent graduate: "Some of my biggest celebrations: Our relationship, our discussions have become much more peaceful, easygoing and playful than before!... She has expressed often how she likes the changes she sees in me… I have a renewed hope that things can get better. I now have a clearer vision of my role as a husband and how things can and should be. I have grown in confidence by learning what is the path to get there. I understand my wife so much better now and realize that contrary to what I thought before, she is not broken!... One change that I think is the most telling of how the DYM program has impacted our lives: Prior to the program we had been sleeping in separate rooms for years. I am thankful to say that I am back in our marriage bed, physically, emotionally – for good now!"

By the end of this episode, I hope you'll get this, men: Courage. Character. Restraint. What I really want to share is that if you want your wife to follow you and be turned on by you, cowardice isn't sexy... to say the least. It's true that the "righteous are as bold as a lion". If you want to grow in courage you must grow in your character. When you lie to yourself or to others, you are undermining your confidence and courage. You are the leader of your home. Whether you feel that way or not, what you do (or don't do) creates the culture. You are the first man your children ever see as a role model. You are the first husband your wife has ever had. You are their standard. If you "follow" your father, and don't realize you're a leader, you will fall into the same issues he had. But if you realize that you're a lion, you are a leader. You have the opportunity to do everything differently. It starts with looking at your character. It starts with not lying. You must work on integrating all the parts of yourself: your spirituality, sexuality, wealth, family life, etc, etc, etc. When your character is your focus and goal to increase, you become more courageous. When you can be honest with the tiny, then you can make big decisions easily. I give some embarrassing examples that I hope you can learn from (at my expense). Please know I love you and am praying for you. Blessings, Belah PS - If you're ready to take the next step in fighting for your marriage, we want to talk with you. Please contact us at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and schedule a totally free Clarity Call with us. PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: Before the Masculinity Reclaimed Program: "I often felt disrespected and controlled. To a degree I felt unloved because of the lack of physical intimacy. I often felt I couldn't be myself or express my opinion because of the disapproval I would feel when I did. There was anger and indifference growing in me. We were growing further and further apart… hopelessness was making me accept the fact that we would continue to become more and more estranged until one or both of us died." After MR: "I have a renewed hope that things can get better. I now have a clearer vision of my role as a husband and how things can and should be. I have grown in confidence by learning what is the path to get there. I understand my wife so much better now and realize that contrary to what I thought before, she is not broken! Anxiousness about when sex will happen next is pretty much gone. Our communication is so much better: we have not had an argument since the beginning of the program. I am sharing more of myself now – my wife will not die without knowing her husband of all these years!"

Consider this: you might be more like Paul than you realize. Yes, Paul—the apostle whose praises were so powerful they shook prison walls, and who found joy even in his suffering. What could you possibly have in common with him? Well, Paul had a thorn in his side. A persistent struggle that he begged God to remove. I'm willing to bet there's a thorn in your side too—something you've desperately asked God to take away. Whether it's sexual sin, pride, greed, jealousy, or anger, this thorn is your personal struggle. I am here to tell you: Embrace the thorn in your side. This might sound counterintuitive, but in your weakness, God's strength is made perfect. The thorn is there for a reason. God has given it to you to keep you humble, to remind you that you're not in control of everything, and to draw you closer to Him. How do folks often respond to their (God-given) thorns? Disassociate. Disown. Disregard. Disassociating yourself from these struggles—especially the deep ones like hidden addictions—can be perilous. Essentially, if you do not embrace your thorn, it is the enemy's playground to attack you in the same way again... and again... and again... to the destruction of all those you love and the reputation of the gospel that you represent to others. We are urging you, bring these struggles into the light. Seek accountability, find support, and create a plan. On the good days it's easier to make that plan and structure to support you on the hard days that you know will come... because you've embraced the thorn that is God's gift which keeps you humble. Important: Perfection isn't required- 80% of a plan is enough to start making meaningful progress. The point is to start. Remember when you perceive the negative pattern in your history, it's time to take action so you can prevent things going downhill... for when you are weak, then you are strong. This week, I encourage you to identify your thorn (start with one, we likely all have many! I certainly do), confront it, confess it to God, repent and confess it to safe people. Then, know that He forgives you and makes a way of escape for the future so you can truly truly walk in the humility that comes through the gift of this thorn... because His grace IS sufficient for you. Love, Belah & Team PS - If you are interested in learning more about our program, maybe even getting that accountability in your life, we would love to talk to you. Check out delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - I am excited to share with you a resource that I believe will be of value for your marital intimacy! A group of pro-marriage / intimacy experts have gotten together and are doing a sex seminar. These are folks that believe marriage is right and good but they are not necessarily Bible-believing Christians. Amongst really valuable and wise content, there will likely be perspectives represented that I don't 100% agree with. I encourage you (as always) to seek discernment from God to gain the good insights that may be in this event and leave what may not be helpful to you. Keep eternity in mind: at the end of it all we want to hear from God "well done." We want it to be true that we loved the spouse we were given with a servant heart and according to His Word. I hope you gain wonderful encouragement and practical ideas to love your spouse well through intimacy! Here are the links- 2024 Sex Seminar: https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/discount/DYM24?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2024 Sex Seminar Bundle (all 5 years): https://shop.thedatingdivas.com/discount/DYMBUNDLE24?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-bundle-2024 PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "After 8 years of marriage, we had both grown complacent in investing in each other… I have long struggled with pornography and I tend to be a bit of a workaholic while my wife has been at home with our kids for 15 years. It seems we took every one of those opportunities to create distance in our relationship… [Now], I'm taking ownership. This is my home. This is my marriage. She is my wife. Ours is a union blessed by God. In taking my roles as husband, father, help mate more seriously, my whole family has begun to benefit. The man's role is not to simply coexist, but to lead the marriage and family. I can make a difference in the family by leading to and with God."

We want to share an inspiring story about Karl, a widower who experienced profound loss when his first wife passed away in 2020. Since then, he's rebuilt his life with a new marriage to his lovely wife Rachel and a vibrant blended family of six children. At first, their new life together seemed to be falling into place beautifully, but just nine months into their marriage, an unexpected challenge arose. Due to circumstances beyond their control, pornography was inadvertently introduced into their home through one of their children's devices. This incident outside of their control ignited a series of conflicts, tension and bitterness. As a pastor, he realized if he lost his marriage, everything, every thing in his life was at stake. Through a series of unusual events, Karl learned of the success of Delight Your Marriage and decided to give it a try and fight for his marriage. He took our free Clarity Call and described it as a "breath of fresh air" that gave true clarity. He was able to see how not only the past few months had affected his marriage but how things from his previous marriage and the loss from 2020 were also affecting him even now. He committed to the men's program, and the transformation was remarkable. Through the tools and guidance he received, he learned to communicate more effectively and approach his relationship with a renewed sense of empathy and understanding. As Karl's approach to their marriage shifted, Rachel's heart began to soften. This newfound healing was put to the test when their luggage, including passports, thousands in cash, work laptop, and IDs, was stolen right before their trip to Rachel's home country. He said this (and this is what we want for you) they leaned into each other and God during crisis, rather than being torn apart. When they used to have massive discord on something as simple as a family routine, now they have connection and healing amidst what could be described as a significant disappointment. What they've discovered through it all... they have both said: "I have my best friend back." Be encouraged by God's miracle working power, which He can do for you too! Belah & Team

There's a profound truth that can often be overlooked: love, in its truest form, is sustainably sacrificial. This means loving your spouse in a way that endures, even when it's challenging. If you're a spouse who is tempted towards apathy—losing hope and withdrawing—it can feel like a deep, unending chasm. This apathy might stem from various sources: exhaustion from the relentless demands of daily life, pride that blocks genuine connection, unforgiveness that creates barriers, or perhaps a combination of all these factors. Whatever the reason, it's crucial to recognize these signs before they evolve into a dangerous pattern that jeopardizes your relationship. There may be times when your spouse's attempts to reach out (or lack thereof) seem ineffective or even hurtful. I encourage you to see beyond the surface and engage with the deeper purpose of marriage -- to make God proud of you. Remember, you're not loving your spouse for a specific result; you're doing it because you love God. That love for God will sustain you when you're not seeing the fruit of your efforts. He CAN fill us with all joy and peace, irrespective of our circumstances or the immediate outcomes of our actions. Even amidst the temptation to lose hope and become apathetic. Don't. Instead, look to the Lord. Rejoice in Him, and trust that God is a God of hope. Your perseverance is not in vain, even when it feels like you're giving more than your fair share in loving and meeting your partner's needs. Love, Belah & Team PS - If you are wanting to fight apathy, fight for your marriage, or just even get some clarity for your marriage... we would love to talk with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "My biggest celebrations have been: Forgiveness- I had no idea how much resentment I had towards my wife. There is no doubt in my mind that she felt that… I learned to not only forgive her, but look at some of those things as a strength for her… Replacing bad habits with good daily habits of first thanking God for my blessings. praying for my wife, shouting my faith statement and focusing on making my marriage the best it can be. I learned that it is all up to me. I know God is with me every step of the way, but I have to be the leader of my life and my marriage."

Perhaps the most heartbreaking situations I encounter are when one spouse becomes apathetic—losing hope—and decides to "pull the plug" on the relationship. When a spouse gives up hope, apathy sets in, leading them to consider divorce, an affair, or even a secret addiction because they feel their spouse isn't meeting their needs. I may not fully understand all the dynamics that have brought your marriage to its current state, but my hope is that you recognize the warning signs before apathy takes hold. LISTEN to your spouse's heartcry. Don't let them lose hope because their attempts to communicate with you have been ignored. Yes, their communication may have been ineffective—perhaps controlling, critical, or accusatory—but underneath it all, they are expressing a hurt that you are overlooking. If you ignore it long enough, they may stop hoping things will change. Tragically, this can lead to apathy and the potential destruction of your marriage. As a marriage coach who genuinely cares, I urge you: please don't wait until apathy sets in before you start paying attention to what your spouse is trying to communicate. Even if their words make you feel like a failure, could you, just possibly, listen to the deeper message? They are crying out to be loved in the way they need to feel loved, and if you don't respond, they may become so weary that the dangerous temptation of apathy takes hold. NOTE: If you're the spouse who seems to be doing more than your fair share of loving and meeting your partner's needs, know this: your reward will be great, far beyond what you might receive in this life. Don't stop. Don't let apathy take root in your heart. Remember, God is a God of hope, and He will fill you with hope as you trust in Him. He doesn't want you to be hopeless. Trust in God. Love, Belah PS - If you're on the verge of losing hope and becoming apathetic about your marriage, we want to help. And if you're worried that your spouse might be feeling this way, we want to help too. Your next step is a free, "low-stakes" conversation called a Clarity Call. We'd love to hear what's going on and potentially be the lifeline that prevents disaster—God has worked miracles in situations like yours before. But it takes courage to take that first step of HOPE. Speak to a compassionate Clarity Advisor: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS -- Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "I had grown so apathetic towards my husband that I KNEW this was very dangerous. I had built a case against him in my mind for the ways he did not appreciate me or accept me... I am a highly sensitive person with strong feelings, so to have little to no feeling towards my husband was intolerable to me. This is what drove me to DYM... A truly KEY realization I had to admit, was that I was a "bickering wife" and that I had been undermining him, disrespecting him, and deeply wounding him... I am so convicted of how it tore down my marriage, impacted my husband's self-esteem, and definitely was negative example to our children... Once I admitted that, I was able to grow!"

We're excited to bring you a story of a woman who was nearing the empty nester phase and, if she was really honest with herself, wasn't looking forward to it at all. Her oldest had already left and grieving that separation added a strain on the marriage. Julie generally felt frustrated and unhappy and blamed her husband for the distance. However, she did a very wise thing. She realized she is the only one who can change anything in the marriage by changing herself. She decided to take us up on our free Clarity Call offer and ended up feeling like she got a counseling session for free just by talking to our Clarity advisor. Thankfully, she didn't stop there and decided she wanted to join the program to gain the tools she needed to change everything in their connection. Which is exactly what happened. She started out feeling that she and her husband were opposites and maybe weren't even meant to get along. And thank God, through this work, she discovered her husband is a man who is actually complementary, she deeply loves, and even misses when they are apart. With love, Belah & Team PS - If you want to try out a Clarity Call like Julie did, here is the link: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Here is a quote from a (different) recent graduate: "Once I learned the 3 basic needs for my husband, I had a new understanding… He started to open up to me and we made more progress in a few weeks than we had in years."

Hello everyone! I hope you all have had a good week so far! For today's podcast, we are doing something a little different! I wanted to give you an inside look on what a Coaching Call with us is like. Confidentiality is of the utmost importance to us, so you won't hear any names or any confidential information, but you will get to hear some of my coaching and some good truths being shared. We wanted to give you an example of what it would look like to be on a Coaching Call with myself and a few of your fellow peers. Based on the men's questions, we cover a few important insights directed at men specifically: Embrace humility in your identity as a believer. Pursue sexual purity and healing. Stay connected—accountability is a choice. Lead your wife with courage; it's what she desires. Guide your family spiritually with practical ideas and encouragement. If you are wanting encouragement, coaching, and want to seek out Truth and encouragement for your marriage, we hope you'll consider joining the program and being part of a company of men running together to achieve the prize and gaining a wonderful and healed marriage and intimacy in the process... We want you to know: Change is possible. Healing is possible. And God loves you. Love, Belah & Team PS - If you want more information on how to be a part of a Coaching Program like this, here's your next step: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Here is a quote of a recent graduate's favorite celebrations from the program: "Where do I begin? I have my wife back. We are having fun again. I almost feel like we are newlyweds again, but this time it is even better now after 28 years of marriage than it ever was. My wife feels safe with me. I'm loving her the way she receives love and she's loving me back wholeheartedly physically intimately towards me. No more duty sex. YEAH!! She is pursuing her own pleasure too. She is frequently initiating to be intimate with me. She is flirting with me and she even did a tap dance saying how good it was the other day after we made love. I am holding back the tears as I am writing this. I will come back to this in a bit. Ok. I'm back. I have a heart filled with gratitude. She even grabbed me as I was leaving the house today. She has never done that before. I think she is starting to crave my touch and now she likes to snuggle next to me. All of these celebrations while at the same time my wife is walking one of the most difficult seasons of her life... As I am writing this, she just sent me the most amazing text. I feel like I couldn't even come up with this if I had to. God is so so so good!!!!"

What if I told you that you have influence? That you don't need to have a podcast or a church or a book or a social media following. That right now, in this moment, you have the power to influence the lives of others, especially your spouse. Every day we have the power to influence the life of our spouse. We have the power to show them who they are in Christ by loving them the way Jesus loves them. When we make their day great just by the tiny interactions we have with them throughout the day, we are influencing them in a dramatic way. It is affecting their life and their potential to follow Jesus more closely! Or we can discourage them. We can complain and criticize and tear them down- even if we don't mean to. We have the power to completely make or break our spouses' day because of the relationship we have with them. If we're so focused on ourselves and our own needs not being met, we are negatively influencing them and likely pushing them away from Jesus on that day, week, year and eventually... their life. Our spouse is our first assignment. They are our highest place of influence. Do not waste your influence. In this episode, we are talking about what it really means to have influence and how to use that influence (including some practicals in how to communicate the points you want to get across). We hope it shines a light on places and encourages you to recognize your power and use it for good. Love, Belah & Team PS - You can find the Marital Health Assessment mentioned at the beginning of this podcast here: delightyoumarriage.com/health PPS - If you want to know more about what we do and how we can help your marriage, please feel free to reach out at delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "There has been unbelievable healing and growth that I prayed so desperately for, but never knew how to achieve on my own. I am closer to God than ever before and now have such an incredible arsenal of tools in my pocket to handle the difficult situations that inevitably still arise."

We are thrilled to be sharing Joel's Transformation Story with you today! After 28 years of marriage, Joel felt disconnected from his wife. He was unsure of what to do and or where the disconnection was coming from. In searching for answers, he spoke with his sister about it and was introduced to the DYM podcast. After a few episodes and some topics really hitting home, he signed up for the Clarity Call and was accepted into the Masculinity Reclaimed course. Through the Course, not only did Joel begin to see a change in his marriage - with the reconnection he had longed for, more playfulness, and a better understanding of how to love his wife well - but his wife even began adding his Coaching Calls to their calendar! She was THAT impressed by the changes! We hope this transformation story inspires you and reminds you that the work that you do for your marriage does matter. Love, Belah & Team PS - If you are looking to reconnect with your spouse, learn how to love them better, or figure out just how in the world to bring playfulness back - we would love to talk with you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Here is a quote from another recent graduate: "The program has given me the tools I need to have a thriving marriage. More importantly, the program has changed my mindset and outlook. I now have a renewed hope that a thriving marriage is possible! I no longer fear that our marriage will end. Our intimacy isn't just physical like in the past. It is now emotional, spiritual, and physical. It is new and AMAZING!"

Maybe you've been incredibly successful in your business pursuits. You're the kind of guy who sees a target, attacks the target and brings home the game. And year after year every chart goes up and to the right. But unfortunately, what you have done that got you great success in business is what has actually torn down what you have wanted to build. I mostly focus on men in this episode because I find they often need this sort of clarification of how God designed marriage. The truth: marriage is extremely different than business :) A businessman might see a problem and want to fix it, when he uses the same tools that have made him successful in business with his wife... It drives her away. It makes her feel she's not good enough. Or it causes her to grow cold towards him. The strategies that work in growing your business, conversing with coworkers, or motivating your employees will not be the things that work in the closer, intimate relationship you have with your spouse. So, if you feel you're throwing punches in the dark and nothing is working and it's incredibly frustrating -- based on the success you've come to expect with your typical approach to life... then this episode is for you. Blessings, Belah & Team PS - If we can help you with your marriage, we invite you to schedule a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc This is a free consultation for us to see if we are a fit for your needs and if we would expect wonderful results from a program. PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "I have come to realize that I need to be very intentional every day about romancing my wife. Especially recently, with some new business pressures, I have realized how easy it is to slip. Interestingly, I am seeing some significant effects in my daughters. Both of them are saying that they would like to have marriages like my wife and I have. Praise God!!!"

Listening is a superpower. It makes people feel heard and safe and brings down defenses. It lets them know they are cared for. In today's society, it can be hard to have a conversation without wanting to defend a point in disagreement or wanting to make sure your opinion is heard, as well. It's even worse when this seeps into your marriage. Today we are going to be talking about how to have a productive disagreement without losing connection, how to stay on the same team (even when you think your spouse is totally wrong!), and how to be a curious and compassionate listener, even in the midst of disagreement. We hope this episode blesses you and leads to many wonderful, deep conversations and a deeper understanding and connection with your spouse. Love, Belah & Team PS - You can find the Marital Health Assessment mentioned in today's podcast here: https://delightyourmarriage.com/health/. PPS - If you're thinking this listening stuff is great for someone else, but not you and your spouse- they never listen, they don't want to share, they are so closed off... we would love to talk to you and see if we can help. https://delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "My biggest struggle coming into the program was hard heartedness, unforgiveness and resentment... It's required me to be more reflective. It has shown me the power of positive habits that build into an attitude of gratitude. I am learning to see my wife in a kinder light. I am spending more time connecting with my kids and have been more patient, kind & gentle with them. I am becoming a better friend, messaging and calling friends more, and making time for them."

In honor of Darcy's anniversary this week, I wanted to re-release this episode! I'm excited to share that my wonderful friend Darcy is here to share her story and advice for you! She is actually our wonderful Office Manager, and she reads all of your emails and prays for all of those who are suffering and in such difficulty in their marriages. She often weeps for you, listeners, and she truly, truly cares about you and feels your pain for those of you who are in need of hope. Her conversation today reflects what God has done in her and what she prays He does in you. The rest of this message are from Darcy: — Thank you, Belah, for giving me this opportunity. God is doing and has done so many amazing things and what an honor to testify of His power, love, and goodness! *"Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name, I will lift up my hands." Ps. 63:3-4 I pray that God speaks to and encourages many weary hearts through this podcast. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life." Prov. 13:12 This is my prayer for you: Father, thank You for the one listening to this podcast. Thank You that You know them…intimately! You know how many hairs are on their head. You know their hurts, desires, and joys. You desire good for them and desire them to know and experience You and Your love in ways that will reveal to them the abundant life that You have offered to any who will come to You in faith in Jesus and walk in the power of the Spirit of God. Father, you see the tears. You see the brokenness. Even more incredibly, You care about them and have the power to do something good with them. God, You know that we so often want to run from hurt and pain! Teach us to trust You…to take You at Your word… I encourage you to read this scripture as though you've never read it before: *"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Rom. 8:18-28 Thank You, Father, that You NEVER lie! Thank You that we can cling to You and Your promises through every storm, every hurt, every disappointment, and everything that we face on this planet! People may fail us, but You NEVER do! You use the trials and pain to teach us greater things. You may seem far off at times, yet You are more interested in the details of our lives than we could ever imagine! Teach us to relinquish everything we hold onto to You, trusting that You will never disappoint…we wait on You. …in Jesus' name, I ask this, amen. So, dear listener, remember: "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Ps. 34:18 * "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Ps. 37:4 And let me ask you: How long was Joseph a slave and a prisoner? How long did David wait for the throne or Abraham and Sarah wait for a son? How long were the Jews in captivity? Hebrews 11 tells us that some died not yet having received the promise, yet they looked forward in faith and believed what God said. God asked Abraham to sacrifice the fulfillment of His promise – Isaac. Abraham was willing. He even got up early the next morning to do so. Likely not because he felt like it or wanted to, but because he believed God. Husband…wife…are you willing to believe God? Are you willing to sacrifice what you hold dear and trust God to deliver on His promises regardless of how bad things look and regardless of how long it takes? Faith fleshes out in obedience. Because Abraham believed God, he acted like he believed God. What does that look like for you in your situation today? He is worthy! He is faithful! You and I can bank on it! Grateful for His presence and His great and precious promises, Darcy Of

For the past 30 years, she has tried everything to try and connect with her husband. It left her feeling lonely inside her own marriage. Tanya is a woman who feels deeply. She is wired to feel the world and those around her in a deep, empathetic way. But this is not the way her husband was wired. Since the beginning of their marriage, Tanya has felt a disconnect and a dismissal of her emotions. Her husband went looking for marriage help and found the Delight Your Marriage podcast. Through the podcast, he was inspired to join the men's program and that is when their marriage really began to change. She was shocked when she noticed he started listening more intently, he became more tender, and they would go on walks in the park holding hands together- something that had been missing since their dating days. This inspired Tanya to do the women's program and "jump in with both feet", willing to let this program change her the way it had changed her husband. Now, their marriage has flourished. Tanya never thought it would be possible, but here they are, more connected than ever before. She said she feels "let out of prison". The depression has lifted and she has hope for the future for the first time in so long. We believe Tanya's story will encourage you and inspires hope in you for your journey! Love, Belah & Team PS - If this story resonates with you and you want to see a change in your marriage as well, we would love to talk with you. Contact us at delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a completely free Clarity Call. (A call Tanya says is still impacting her even now.) PSS - Here is a quote from a (different) recent graduate: Before the Delighted Wife Program: "We were planning on how to keep a family together while breaking our family up - We were at the end of ourselves and decided it was time to give up and go our separate ways." After: "WHERE DO I BEGIN!!! I have grown in patience, perspective, my faith and connection with God, my understanding of my husband, and peace. I have learned how to build my marriage. Building it is now a journey and no longer an intense, overwhelming mission impossible... Biggest take away from this whole course is the GOD FACTOR. Belah always pointed us to Jesus NOT to a strategy or an idea or concept. It was directly and purely to JESUS. He was the main focus, and everything else just fell into place. It helped me to re-center everything in my life."

Clarity is a Christian's speciality. Amidst a confused culture, a clear understanding of God's word is what we need. If you're a husband, I invite you to consider how Jesus led and what the Bible says about a husband's leadership in the family. If you're a wife, I invite you to hear what a man can be (really) so you are happy to be led. My story started without good role modeling. And then I tried to "submit" and it was soul crushing. Then I decided I would NOT submit, and it was stressful, frustrating, and deeply painful. Then I discovered God's way (though I still make mistakes at times), and it has made both my husband and I flourish. I can lead in many, many ways outside of our family -- but I love that in our home I am not the leader. My husband is trustworthy and good to me and our children. I hope you can catch a vision of what it can mean for you as a man or a woman to empower the right order of family. We are to be a light on a hill for the non-believers. I hope you'll curiously seek to gain perspective and growth into more and more of who God wants you to be in and through your marriage so you can do more for the Kingdom of God. Love, Belah PS - We can help -- if you're a husband or a wife -- that's what we do. Check out delightyourmarriage.com/cc to learn more. PPS - Here a quote from a recent graduate: Before the Masculinity Reclaimed program: "I had quite a few struggles when starting the program...we were arguing quite a lot, I was defensive in my responses and even blamed [her] for the issues. I also hadn't been intentional in terms of dating or cherishing her for a long time and she was feeling neglected and getting more and more upset about the situation. Neither of us was very happy. I tried to do more around the house to make [her] happy, tried to act perfectly but still failed and ended up walking on eggshells most of the time. Not feeling or acting confidently or as a leader." After MR: "I can see now that I had been both aloof and independent towards my wife...but also very dependent on her mood and feelings/actions towards me. I feel more secure now in who I am, I don't get defensive much at all any more and we rarely argue… I realized that I hadn't been a very good husband for a very long time. I didn't know the extent of it until I went through each week and realized that I hadn't really been doing the basics of knowing my wife, or making her feel safe and cherished. That was a hard realization, but actually really helped me to understand the situation and where [she] was coming from and also helped me to own my part in it. It's been a huge change for the better. I have daily devotions now, I practice gratitude daily now. I have more confidence and less anxiety around people or stressful situations. I feel closer to God now; what could be a bigger impact than that?"

We have all felt the frustration and disappointment of doing our best to do the right thing and life still does not go the way we thought. For 28 years, Stephen was a faithful husband to his wife. There were no drugs or alcohol or pornography. They raised two kids in a Christian home. From the outside, everything looked like it should be going right. But within their marriage, they were falling apart. Stephen felt emotionally and physically abandoned by his wife and didn't know what to do. After desperately searching "Sexual Intimacy" on Google in hopes of finding some answers, Stephen stumbled upon Delight Your Marriage. After the first podcast episode, he knew this was what the Lord had for him. He was shocked that after signing up, exactly what he had been praying for came to pass... his wife greeted him with open arms, a smile, and a "How was your day?" followed by a passionate night! Stephen had to do his work on himself. It wasn't easy and he had to have faith that God could change it all. And He did. This is the story we want for each person listening: to be desired by their spouse, to be connected, and to be loved in a delight-filled marriage. We are so thankful to Stephen for sharing his story with us and we hope that his story becomes your story too. Blessings, Belah & Team P.S. - If you want to know more about our Clarity Calls or how to become involved in the same work Stephen did, please reach out to us at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. We would love to talk to you! P.S.S. - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: Before the men's program: "I often felt disrespected and controlled. To a degree I felt unloved because of the lack of physical intimacy. I often felt I couldn't be myself or express my opinion because of the disapproval I would feel when I did. There was anger and indifference growing in me. We were growing further and further apart…" After the men's program: "Tension between us is pretty much gone! Our relationship, our discussions have become much more peaceful, easygoing and playful than before. My wife has become more affectionate and has initiated intimacy more! We can now discuss physical intimacy and not argue. She has told me many times how she likes the changes she sees in me, and is expressing more and more desire to grow in intimacy herself!... Other people around us, even strangers, have noticed something different about us. One change that I think is the most telling of how the DYM program has impacted our lives: Prior to the program we had been sleeping in separate rooms for years. I am thankful to say that I am back in our marriage bed, physically, emotionally – for good now!" P.S.S.S… :) A few weeks ago, I had the wonderful privilege of being a guest on the 'That's Just What I Needed' podcast with speaker & author Donna Jones, who is a friend of DYM and has actually been on our podcast as well! If you'd like to listen to the episode, we talk about what you can do make your marriage better, regardless of where you're starting. You can find it here: That's Just What I Needed It was so great getting to chat with her and we hope the episode blesses you immensely! We want to support Donna and the great work she is doing so if you are on social media, please give her a follow on @donnaajones and make sure to check out her new book, Healthy Conflict, Peaceful Life. Thank you again for having me, Donna!

"Throughout all of history, it is clear that humans naturally are humble, self-sacrificial, and want to be of service to others" ...said no one, ever. That is the right heart and mindset but it must be chosen and cultivated. When we look back at our lives the things we are most proud of are not what came easily. We are most proud of what was difficult, what took sacrifice and what was in service to something bigger than ourselves. By nature, we don't want to do "hard". Easy SEEMS better in the short-term, but when we choose the hard, we look back and see a life of meaning and purpose. As a wife, it's not easy to reject the lies that society feeds us nowadays. Lie - "Men and women are the same" The problem is if we're the same then we'll expect to give and receive love the same way. So, if a wife doesn't need sex to feel loved, she'll be bitter that her husband can't live without it. The truth sets us free. And the truth is men and women are designed differently -- equal in value and dignity but different in the ways we receive love (among other things). When I push myself towards the gym because of a doctor's wisdom, am I oppressing myself? Is the doctor oppressing me for suggesting such a gruesome and heinous encouragement that could leave me sore and in discomfort for days... No--I'm grateful he told me the truth so I can have the results he knows I want: health and well-being. Ultimately, if I do push myself to go to the gym, I feel a LOT better once I'm there and started. In the same way, if it is true and wise and good to go towards intimacy in marriage -- regardless of how I feel naturally -- I can change my attitude and go towards this gift that God has given. And generally with the right attitude, I'll start to enjoy it in the midst. The beautiful part about sex is when you sacrifice your feelings and wants for the good of God's plan for your marriage, you can actually start to enjoy, love, and relish in His good gift of intimacy! It all starts with a choice to say "Not my will, but Your will be done in my life". Love, Belah PS - If you are wanting to improve your marriage and have deeper intimacy with your spouse, we would love to talk with you. Please feel free to contact us at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to schedule a free Clarity Call. PPS - Here is quote from a recent graduate:Before: "[Before the Delighted Wife program], My husband and I were at the brink of complete and utter separation. We were not communicating. There was anger and yelling and volatile behavior. We were not even sleeping in the same bed, in the same room. I was feeling absolutely helpless and broken. I feared for the future and for what would happen to our family. My health was being affected and all of the struggles were really destroying both of us." After DW: "Through the program, I realized that first, my husband is different than I am. Second, I learned that I was not respecting, admiring, or being wholehearted in my approach to intimacy. Third, I learned that the improvement that God was effecting for our marriage needed to begin with one of us and that it was me who needed to start… I learned to see my husband through God's eyes and am determined to love him with all of his strengths and weaknesses without wanting any change but instead being grateful for all that he is in my life… Delight Your Marriage opened my eyes to what the Lord has in store and has filled me with so much hope. Through the tools of the program, I have been able to see the improvements that have been affected almost miraculously. To God be the Glory!!!"

When you see everyone else has great intimacy except you, how can you survive? How can you live without this vital need being met (as God even designed it)? I hear you. It's painful. It really is. In this conversation, I hope you will feel encouraged and supported and also feel that God does care and there is direction. Blessings, Belah PS - Do you want to improve your marriage? Do you want to see a move of God in your own life and in the life of your spouse, family, and friendships? We want to help you. Check out this link to schedule a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "[Before the Masculinity Reclaimed program], I was stuck in the sin of self pity. We were not enjoying each other's company. Our youngest two children were noticing, and it was not the examples we wanted to be showing them. [After the MR program], I have become more thankful. I learned to focus on the positives. I have learned to become a better listener. I understand my wife's needs better. Because of past disappointments my wife was not my #1 priority after the Lord. Now she is... There is so much in this program that is good. I loved Belah's insights for each guy during each week's coaching call. I believe she is relying on the Holy Spirit for wisdom and it shows with each guy's reactions and progress."

If you're discontent... If you feel you've been praying against a cement ceiling... If you've actually felt disappointed in life and at God... Or maybe it's less severe, you're going through the motions in life but something feels "off"... I want you to know that your discontentment is something to pay attention to. God does come in dreams and visions (sometimes) but often he leads us by our feelings. And my wonder for you is are you paying attention? Are you considering the feeling of "discontentment" as something a - outside of you in your world needs to change or b - something about you in your inner world needs to change God gives us opportunities to change all the time. Change the way we think, the way we are, the way we understand the world. You don't need to assume this is as good as it gets and that we're not going to be able to do anything to make it better. I think God wants us to take Him at His word "we are more than conquerors" and stand on our own feet and decide to improve what we are discontent about. Yes, there are sad and bad things going on in the world. But as followers of Jesus, we get to DO something about it. We have the opportunity to change things for the better, all the time. Ultimately, I want you to take responsibility for your heart and what you choose to meditate on. Don't be a "Discontent Debbie" or a "Wallowing Walter!" It's not what God has for you. I promise. How about "Determined Debbie" and "Wonderfully Wise Walter"? And I think it has eternal consequences... Be a wise gardener of your mind and heart, so that you can have a life and joy that brings honor to Jesus. Blessings, Belah PS - Would you like to improve your marriage? Are you willing to let the Lord grow in you more of His love, grace, and power in your most important human relationship? Would you like our help? If so, schedule a free Clarity call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc To fan the flame of hope, a quote from one of our program graduates: "DYM [Delight Your Marriage] has been a great blessing to our marriage! After several years of feeling "stuck" in patterns in our marriage that left both of us feeling alone, hurt, unheard, and without much hope of any real and lasting change, I have found the material, ministry culture, and most importantly, the faith at work through the team of DYM to be exactly what I needed to take real steps of faith in practical ways that mattered to my wife and our marriage."

A man of God, in ministry, spreading the gospel, and without even realizing it, he had allowed his marriage to slip into a transactional relationship. After being married for nearly thirty years, Mark saw in himself that he was starting to become more grouchy, their connection waned, and his wife's physical desire changed as she began to go through menopause. Their four children were "launching well" but would soon be completely out of the house – changing the home dynamic completely. All of this put a strain on their marriage. They were now in uncharted territory and he knew he needed help. Mark felt he needed to lead as the man, but just didn't know how. He had been considering the men's program for about a year and finally decided to move forward. Through the program, we were able to help shed light to remove the things that were straining his marriage - going from transactional to selfless- and give him the tools to connect with his wife, even in the midst of all their changes. He finally felt he had the tools to be the man his wife needed him to be, so she could fully trust him and be free around him. We are so excited to share Mark's transformation story and hope that it resonates with you. If there is anything to take away, it is that you are not alone. If you are a soon-to-be empty nester, if you're navigating your wife's menopause, if you are finding yourself discontent and you don't want to be- we would love to help you too. delightyourmarriage.com/cc God bless you! Love, Belah and team PS - Like Mark, if you'd like to find out if the men's program would be your right next step, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call. Maybe you'll be the next success story! Here's another recent graduate's comments: Before the Men's program: "The emotional disconnection led us to a growing sense of distance. Physical intimacy had always been a regular part of our relationship, but there always seemed to be something missing… There was also difficulty about sharing vulnerable feelings and emotions for both of us. It was just a pattern of stuck-ness. Things might improve for a few weeks or months, but we would inevitably feel stuck again… All in all we were headed into a pretty 'lifeless' future together, that neither of us wanted or were excited about." After: "I find myself actually wanting to know about my wife. The listening skills have helped me to express my interest in ways that she can receive and helped me learn how to receive her more fully… I am able to express delight in my wife through compliments more naturally… There has been a bit of fun flirtiness that has never been a part of my relationship with my wife… I am free from most of my sex-related anxiety. I was constantly worried about when or if we would be physically intimate… I don't think I have ever been more intoxicated by her body, while at the same time I see each opportunity to enjoy her as a fabulous gift.I am so free to express my desire for her in ways that she loves hearing, without pressure or expectation, but with authentic desire for her."

Tom felt like his marriage was good, but knew it could be better. His wife was his best friend, but he was craving romance and passion in their marriage. After stumbling upon Delight Your Marriage through a Google Search and taking our free Marital Health Assessment, he realized that the marriage he thought was "good" was actually only just "okay" and ended up scoring a 5 out of 10 in the Marital Health Assessment (delightyourmarriage.com/health). He knew it was time for a change, so he signed up, hoping his wife would take the course at some point. Because that's what needs to happen… right? ;) Well, Tom found out, like all of our MR Graduates do, that change begins with ourselves. And as he took the course and began to implement the principles, he in fact, did see a change in his wife! She became more flirty and playful and the romance and passion that Tom had been wanting finally happened in their marriage after 4 decades! All because he decided to take the leap, take the Delight Your Marriage course, and truly implement what he learned. We know that God is in the business of transformation and He LOVES transforming marriages because the impact goes much further than just an individual couple. Love, Belah & team PS - If you are like Tom and feel like your marriage is pretty good, but also feel like there could be more, we want to invite you to listen to this episode and to take our free Marital Health Assessment (delightyourmarriage.com/health). PPS - And just the way Tom started, we would love to chat with you on a free Clarity Call! delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Have you ever not done something because of fear? Have you ever done something that felt right at the time, but you were riddled with fear and anxiety later? Have you ever felt you had more potential than you were living into? Welcome to human nature. But is that what he should do? Is that living according to our fears or God's will and His way? I don't think so. Instead, the Bible says it's impossible to please God without faith. (Heb 11:6) You might wonder: Is it required to have faith for your marriage to change? YES. Even Jesus could do no mighty miracles in his hometown because of their lack of faith. (Mark 6:6) Does it mean He will most certainly change your marriage and make you not go through suffering because you have faith? Well, we can look at John the Baptist to see that even if you have faith it's not a guarantee that God will pull you out of the hard situation and cause a miracle. However, the woman with the issue of blood had suffered terribly for over a decade. She could have allowed her heart to grow calloused toward God and assume He doesn't care. She could have decided things will never change. She could have resigned herself to a life that would never get better. But she didn't, she stretched, she pushed through the crowd, she resisted anything that would try to discourage her faith... and by faith, she touched the hem of His garment, believing He could heal her. And He did. "Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you." (Mtt 9:22) I want to ask you, when... When will it matter enough? When will choosing to notice that God is here wanting to restore, redeem, heal matter enough to you? When will you see Jesus walking by and reach out in faith? Resist the enemy's... Fear of being judged. Fear of loss. Fear of looking silly. Fear of being perceived a fool. Fear of change. Fear of responsibility. Fear of taking ownership. Fear of pain. I invite you to stand up and choose faith. Stand up in faith. Reach for His garment. Do not be offended by His response but stay, stay, stay in faith as He might want to do a miracle that you (by your fear) are blocking. Choose the faith of freedom, hope, joy, love, connection, unity, healing... Live into the potential life He may be inviting you into. Listen in today: Faith or Fear: When Will It Matter Enough to You? Love, Belah PS - Marital Health Assessment is a free tool to discover where you are currently in your marriage and to give you a vision of what areas you may be missing and need to gain insight. It also provides free episodes that are uniquely selected for your situation. delightyourmarriage.com/health PPS - If you're ready to transform your marriage through Christ-centered personal growth... we're here for you: delightyourmarriage.com/cc We'd love to help. Quote from a recent graduate heading for divorce: "Delight Your Marriage saved my marriage. It has changed the course of all four of my kids lives. There is now peace in our home and friendship between me and my husband. Without this program I do not think we would have gotten here. I was too stubborn and too hurt. Belah's teaching were humbling and eye opening to the ways I had repeatedly damaged my husband and the areas I had fallen short as a wife. Both of us have now gone through the program now and I know it was the push we needed to mature and build solid ground for the rest of our marriage."

We all know that marriage is a blessing from God. And when a marriage spans decades - ten, twenty, thirty years- we often stand in awe and amazement at that accomplishment. However, there are times when those thirty years privately have been disconnected and painful and becoming empty nesters resulted in feeling like even less than roommates. But, what if they found a program that changed it all and brought a deeper peace, connection, and unity to their marriage than they've had in three decades? That is Adam's Transformation Story. From being disconnected and treating her almost as he did one of his "employees" to learning what it truly means to be "safe" for his wife. So connected in fact that they are planning a getaway for their 30th anniversary! When just a few short months ago she felt there was nothing to celebrate! We are thrilled to share this transformation story with you because it's a miracle that we give God all glory and honor for what He did in their family. If any part of it resonates–the disconnect, the want for a change in heart, the desire for results like this one (planning a trip, deeper intimacy, deeper connection)–we encourage you to make a Clarity Call at www.delightyourmarriage.com/cc We hope this story encourages you, reminds you that God is for you, and that it is truly, truly, never too late to turn and create a new beginning in your marriage. Love, Belah PS - If you have been on the fence about deciding to go through a program we invite you to join in now, because in 2 weeks the pricing model and structure will change as we're having to cap enrollment. I hope you can jump in now as we'll be raising the price in two weeks. Check out delightyourmarriage.com/cc to learn more! PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: Before MR: "Lack of connection, lack of intimacy on each Spiritual, Emotional or Physical. I knew that our physical intimacy was lacking, My wife and I were friendly 'roommates', Physical intimacy was infrequent (3-5x a year) and not passionate. I knew I wanted and needed more, but I wasn't able to identify the lacking Spiritual and Emotional intimacy. I described myself as Helpless but not Hopeless because I had hope but didn't know exactly what was missing and what to do about it…." After MR: "(The) DYM MR program has drawn me closer to God, my wife, and my daughters. I have seen wonderful growth in my closeness with my wife and we've spent more time truly together in the last couple months than in prior years. We've gone from polite roommates where I had been jealous of my wife's craving of Diet Coke more than she seemed to need or crave me in her life to teenagers who do fun silly things to express our love for one another... My spiritual connections with God and my wife have improved 100 fold!... My wife and I are on an adventure to read the bible within the next year. We're also cooking together 3 nights per week…" Does your marriage currently feel like living with a roommate? We want to help bring the spark back! Visit delightyourmarriage.com/cc to schedule a free Clarity Call with us. We would love to talk to you!

Have you ever been in a place where a conflict has absolutely consumed you? Whether you're grocery shopping or with friends, that conflict is just circling over and over in your mind. Maybe you find yourself wondering how you even got there in the first place? And even more so, how to get out of that place? Well, author and speaker Donna Jones is here today to talk about just that. In her new book "Healthy Conflict, Peaceful Life: a Biblical guide to Communicating Thoughts, Feelings, and Opinions with Grace, Truth, and Zero Regret", Donna walks us through how to handle conflict with love and grace, how to be an Addresser of Conflict, rather than an Avoider or Attacker, how to lead with listening, and so much more. We were sad to have this episode end because it was such a treasure! We hope this episode blesses you and brings you and your spouse closer together- shoulder to shoulder, against the problem, rather than against each other. We believe God can heal any relationship and He can use you through His wisdom to do just that. Love, Belah

Delightyourmarriage.com/accessories Free training to gain insights, Christian how-tos and practical tips as well as specific recommended (non-scary) intimacy accessories. I hope this blesses you!

I was confused. There I was a new bride, having saved myself for marriage... only to find out that my new husband wanted me to do SINFUL things. Where did he get all this "inspiration" anyway? Oh, I knew: sinful places. So, of course, I refused. And of course, it brought mutual anger (covering each of our hurt). What's your story? If it's even remotely like mine, I needed to change the lens in which I was viewing sex. I wasn't viewing sex from a biblical standpoint. I was viewing sex from a sexually perverted lens. (Even though I saved my sex for marriage, I certainly received messages from the world that perverted the purity and unashamedness that is meant to be in the bedroom.) I was thinking about a sinful visual I had, at some point, encountered that I knew was wrong. Instead of recognizing the COMPLETELY different and HOLY context of my marriage, I decided the act was associated with my experience that was not God's will. Maybe you've gone through something profoundly tragic, if so, my heart goes out to you. And now you're married and there are so many things that feel hard to move towards because of the past. There is hope. Hope for healing and even hope for desire. Be washed by truth. That's my aim in this conversation. That you will realize that our God is a God of intimacy and freedom in your marriage. When you wash your mind with the truth of His design within the marriage bed, may you slowly wade (or dive in) into the waters of marital intimacy and find out it's nice and warm (with your spouse :) ) In this conversation, I talk about: 1 - the actual boundaries God gives in the Bible 2 - the clear freedom He gives, biblically speaking and logically reasoned 3 - the difference between masculine and feminine sex 4 - the invitation to align your typical life with the standard of the Bible (which is often overlooked... a frequent contradiction) Love, Belah PS - If you'd like help with your marriage, we're here and would love to witness God transform it and bring you the freedom and joy you are longing for! Your next step is a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc Start the process today and start enjoying your marriage! PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "We were emotionally, intimately, and spiritually disconnected. We lived in the same house, but didn't live together. I was angry and bitter…" AFTER: "My wife and I are closer than we have ever been! She has a glow. It's crazy how much we love each other. Life is fun!"

Bethany felt like her marriage was a lost cause. She knew that she and her husband were called to be together, but after years of serving in church ministry, three kids, and infidelity, Bethany and her husband began questioning their promise of "no divorce" and began considering separation. She knew she needed help. She was desperate. She searched for a Christian answer and found Delight Your Marriage. After listening to the podcast and the testimonies, she felt unsure because the testimonies felt too hard to believe. "God couldn't do that for me, could he?" But she kept listening until she felt God tugging on her heart telling her it was time. Through Delight Your Marriage, Bethany received encouragement, support, wisdom, and a team of people that was in her corner. She has seen a transformation in her marriage including surprise flowers and a softness in her husband that she had never seen before. (Not to mention weekly dates! Which was never a thing before!) We are so thankful to be able to share Bethany's story with you today and know that it is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what God can do in so many marriages. He is a good, thoughtful, and intentional God. Blessings, Belah and team PS - If you'd like help with your marriage, we're here and would love to witness God transform it through the work! Your next step is a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc As Bethany said, "It truly is a CLARITY call." PPS - Here is a quote from a (different) recent graduate: BEFORE: "Before DYM, there was a lot of tension and stress in our marriage and disconnect. My husband had affairs and these were replayed constantly in my head… I did not trust him and had not forgiven him. Intimacy felt like something I had to do to keep him somewhat happy." AFTER: "After going through the program, the stress is gone and replaying the affairs in my head is pretty much gone… I told him I have forgiven him and intimacy is something I desire now and enjoy with my husband. We are both so much happier in our marriage!" Your story can be next, schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Maybe you've done something wrong... Maybe there's a deep discomfort that you keep trying to avoid... Maybe you feel if you let yourself be with yourself quietly, the shame will swallow you whole... The guilt and shame you feel may be justified. And that is exactly why we need a sacrifice that allows us to live in confidence and freedom, peace and joy in life. As followers of Jesus, we don't have confidence that "we're good enough" because of some baseless affirmation. We have a strong foundation of reason as to why we have confidence. The truth is, on our own... We aren't good enough. We don't deserve the goodness God gives us every day. And we don't deserve His sacrifice. But what we are as Jesus followers are receive-ers. We are trust-ers. We are people who say THE event that altered the human race 2000 years ago is WHY I can have freedom from shame. If you have felt like you've been "paying for" the sin you've committed, it's time to receive the payment from God and start walking in your freedom as His son and daughter. His payment actually means something in your day to day life. You can never earn your way into being worthy of His love and goodness, peace and freedom. You get to believe and receive it. He is that good and loving and merciful and kind. I invite you to let the gift of Jesus' sacrifice move you today. Spend time in the story today and this weekend. Remember and receive His sacrifice for every part of your life and heart. Love, Belah PS - We'd love to walk with you in this journey of living free in Christ, connected with your spouse in passion, purpose, playfulness and doing God's will as man or woman of God. We're here for you, find out the details at: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: DW Before: We were planning on how to keep a family together while breaking our family up - We were at the end of ourselves and decided it was time to give up and go our separate ways. DW After: WHERE DO I BEGIN!!! I have grown in patience, perspective, my faith and connection with God, my understanding of my husband, and peace. I have learned how to build my marriage. ​​ Change starts with me - God can only save my marriage if I am humble enough to surrender and let Him start with ME!!!! ​​Belah always pointed us to Jesus NOT to a strategy or an idea or concept. It was directly and purely to JESUS. He was the main focus, and everything else just fell into place. It helped me to re-center everything in my life.

Maybe you're in the midst of a really tough season. It feels like you're alone and barely keeping your head above water. Marriage woes can be the most stressful aspect of a person's life. I want to encourage you that your suffering matters. I was walking through a museum with my son the other day, and a painting depicted a martyr who was tortured for his faith. It was a moment that helped me reflect on the importance of my suffering every day. If a moment like that occurred, where I would have to make a choice between Jesus and comfort... I would be strong enough and have endured enough hardship to choose rightly. I hope today's podcast will give you encouragement that you CAN endure ALL things through Christ who strengthens you. Love, Belah PS - If you'd like help with your marriage, we're here and would love to witness God transform it through the work! Your next step is a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc This may be the very best thing you've done for your marriage. Period. PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "Prior to coming to DYM my marriage was at a 3 out of 10... We were at odds for most of our 30+ year marriage" AFTER: "My feelings towards my husband came back to life... This was the catalyst to the deeper changes that have given me a marriage I had always wanted."

If you're a pastor or are shepherded by a pastor, it is important to know that the work of the pastor is hard and can have a deep impact on the leader of such work. In this episode, we explore the emotional and psychological cost of deeply caring for others. In today's episode, we delve into compassion fatigue, its causes, and the impact it has on individuals in helping professions. Here's what you'll learn: What is compassion fatigue and how does it differ from burnout? Professions most susceptible to compassion fatigue. Warning signs and symptoms to watch out for. Strategies for managing and preventing compassion fatigue. I'm excited to speak with Kevin Bueltmann, a pastor who helps pastors with Compassion Fatigue. He went through it himself. I encourage you to find out more about him and his ministry for pastors at https://www.shepherdscanyonretreat.org/ If you are wondering if you are burnt out and/or have compassion fatigue, we have a great conversation with practical ideas. I believe this will bless you! Blessings, Belah PS - If we can help you with your marriage, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc to learn all the details. Graduate Quote: Before the program… "I felt that I was not connecting as well with my wife and children as I should. I could sense my wife's frustration with me…I was tired, I was grouchy, I was irritable and it was affecting my most important relationships. It was negatively impacting them and my relationships with them, and it needed to change." After the program… "My overwhelming feeling coming out of this course is gratitude - gratitude for my wife, for who she is, for how she has hung in there with me and not given up on me, for how she has continued to love me for who I am. I am grateful for this course and the blind spots it has helped me recognize. I wasn't a good listener at all. I was grouchy. I was ungrateful. I was often guilty of having a transactional mindset when it came to sexual intimacy. All that has changed for the better. It's all about the routine, and doing things [taught in the program] each day."

I pulled out a fan-favorite episode to share today! If you haven't heard it, you don't want to miss this story. It'll encourage you. -- Mick is a dynamic, charismatic, but also a tell-it-straight kinda guy. When his marriage was shallow in terms of connection, emotionally and intimately, he jumped at an opportunity that he discerned understood him as a man and also had a proven track record for change. After taking responsibility, the MAIN change was his heart. He shares some particulars on why that was so vital in the outward changes of his marriage. But, he began to realize who God actually is calling him to be as a husband. Mick's transformation is truly awesome. But he really took responsibility. He wasn't interested in waiting to see what happens in his marriage without intentionality. He was ready to do the work and take 100% ownership for his marriage transformation and had full accountability for himself. His heart…his change…his commitment to Christ, and then…living it out in his marriage. I encourage you to listen to Mick's story and witness God's transformation in him. From the outside they looked great, but it wasn't until God changed his heart that their connection went to a whole new level. Maybe you need this. Maybe a friend does…and you get to be the one to share it with them (like a friend shared it with his wife, and thus God did this in his marriage and for his kids). Love & Blessings, Belah PS -- We'd love to see if we can serve you in a Clarity Call where you dig into your specific journey and we help you clarify the challenges, where you're going, and WHY. Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc Quote from another recent graduate (2024): Before: "We were two roommates who both felt a lot of hurt and rejection. We lived together, but never talked about the elephant in the room." After DYM men's program: "I am so thankful to be in a loving and happy marriage that I could not have imagined only 12 weeks earlier. I am excited every day to go home to my wife, something that I felt anxious about three months ago." Maybe you're next? Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Maybe you don't really understand what "servant" means in relation to your spouse. Let's explore that together on our podcast today. Be your spouse's servant. That's Jesus' way. If we believe what He said, this should not offend us but teach us how to live. Mark 10:45: "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve..." Matthew 20:26b-28 "whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve," Matthew 23:11-12: "The greatest among you will be your servant." Luke 22:26: "the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves." John 13:14-15: "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you." Matthew 25:40: "The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'" Mark 9:35: "Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, 'Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.'" Luke 14:11: "For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." Matthew 5:16: "In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Luke 6:38: "Give, and it will be given to you... For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 10:27: "He answered, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" If we truly believe Jesus, this should not offend us but free us to love and serve extravagantly. Be your spouse's servant. For great will be your reward. Love, Belah PS - Do you want help healing your marriage? We can help, and we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call at: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PSS Client Testimonial: Before Delighted Wife: "Our biggest marital struggle was PRIDE. Pride sent us into a downward spiral early on in our marriage. It went unchecked and only got worse over the years. We were both hopeless and lost." After Delighted Wife: "I can finally SEE! God shined a light on my pride the very first week of the program. We had big celebrations nearly every week. I finally see my husband through God's eyes! I have grace for his imperfections and use them as opportunities to honor God by loving him through them with absolute joy. My husband could see a change pretty instantly. The energy in our home is positive and joyful! We've had celebrations of vulnerability and intimacy I never thought possible and finally share hope that we can actually have the marriage we've always dreamed of. We're all happier, sleeping better, and able to breathe! It's truly a miracle."

If you've been around for a while, you may have heard that we say you must have "0 arguments" in your marriage. "But that's not normal." "But that's not healthy." "But that means someone is not being honest." Well, firstly, it's not my rule. Among many other verses, let's look at Romans 1:29, 30, 32; 2:1, 2. "They have become filled with every kind of wickedness... murder, strife... gossips... arrogant and boastful..." "Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them..." "Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness... God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance" -- Let's not take God's kindness for granted. Allow His patience and kindness with us to lead us to repentance. Let us not take liberties because we haven't been "smitten" yet. -- I'll assume we're on the same page with the thoughts around no arguments, so how do you communicate differences? Are differences of opinion or disagreements allowed in a marriage? YES. But the marital relationship is unlike any other relationship. There is a unity that is not like any other relationship. Thus, things must be sorted through in a way that does not compromise unity. It matters how healthy your marriage is right now. Some topics may need to wait until you're healthier before it's wise to bring it up. I have several practical ways of looking at this that I am excited to share. May God bless you in this discernment of His way in your relationship. Love, Belah PS - Here is a free tool called the Marital Health Assessment to help you evaluate where you currently are in your marital health: delightyourmarriage.com/health PPS - Do you want help healing your marriage? We can help, and we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc Client Testimonial: Before MR: "The biggest struggles were that my wife and I had a gap between us and we were moving farther and farther away from each other. My wife would use my shared vulnerabilities immediately against me and was constantly mothering/telling me what to do and how to do it. We had physically separated in the home and arguments hinting at divorce were starting to creep in. Our marriage was sick. Playfulness had long since gone from it, and the priorities of life and the world were weighing on us. I highly preferred not to be in the same room with her versus being around her." After MR: "I have grown to love my wife. I have grown to know God loves me enough to give me the miracle of a refreshed marriage—one that I'd hoped and prayed for but wasn't sure I was worthy of the help. And I'm not. But He granted it anyway and it has made ALL the difference. We are sharing plans and hopes for our future a lot more. We are making better decisions together."

The definition of a half-truth is "a statement that conveys only part of the truth, especially one used deliberately in order to deceive someone." I don't know that anyone who says these half-truths is INTENTIONALLY choosing to deceive someone. I'd prefer to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. However, we must look at these beliefs and discern if they are scripturally based. Certainly, the enemy has deliberately used them to deceive and wreak horrific tragedies in marriages and families. Unfortunately, half-truths are more slippery and harder to discern than outright (obvious) lies.​ Because we see something that somewhat resembles God's way, but we haven't given it the time or held it up to scripture to discern if it is actually aligned. My hope in this episode is to help you discern truth from half-truths. Here are a few we talked about in this episode: Duty sex is bad (true... and there are things you should do to change that) Women should not feel they have to keep their husbands faithful by offering him sex (true... and she has an opportunity to love him well and fill this God-designed desire) Men should not oppress women (true... and he is designated as the leader of the home) Everyone fights and it's normal (true... and the Bible is clear that it is evil) Listen in to today's podcast: 419-Half Truths Can Destroy More than Lies Listen to the episodes on iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or your favorite podcast platform I hope also you remember as I mentioned in the beginning ANYONE who has spoken these half-truths likely had great intentions. ​​Let's give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that everyone is trying to help marriages become God's best... I hope this shines a light on how God Himself designed marriage to be, according to our guide, the Bible. Let's have charity and kindness with one another as fellow believers. We are just seeking God's way above our own.​ Love and submission to Jesus, Belah PS - We'd love to help you and your marriage. Find out how to have a free Clarity Call ($300 value!) at delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - A recent graduate who came first and then because of his changes the wife joined and God did amazing things (!!) wrote this: "Hi Belah, I am well, thank you! And thank you so much for EVERYTHING you've done for me and my marriage. Your positive impact on my family will resound for generations. Truly words don't do justice to the blessing that you and DYM have been to us. God is good!" Glory to God for all of it! I hope you'll allow us to journey with you and see God transform your life too! delightyourmarriage.com/cc

(This is a re-release from previously.) I used to be so weirded out by sex because I was pursuing Jesus with everything. How could my life be sold out for Christ and have to engage in such carnal behavior? Then God opened my eyes to quite a lot. I hope you'll listen to today's podcast with an open heart and willingness to let Him reveal His true design and desire for you in your marriage. Love & Blessings, Belah PS – We'd love to help with your marriage/intimacy please set up a call with a Clarity Advisor to see how we can help: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

"We're just so different." "We have nothing in common." "Our personalities are not compatible." This is a big problem in marriages. People notice differences and assume it's a bad thing. This is understandable...but very wrong. God, in His amazing creativity, designed your spouse and you differently. He also made a deer look differently than an alligator. He made a duck's personality differently than an anaconda's. He made the octopus loners, but curious, and the ant disciplined, but incredibly collaborative. Why do we assume and expect God to make two humans alike? Especially when the two sexes are SO different in many other ways (hair growth, voice pitch, hip width...to name a few!) You're different from your spouse and it's to be marveled at as God's handiwork (Ephesians 3). And, HE knit your spouse together (Psalms 139). You GET to appreciate their uncommon traits. Not scowl and be annoyed at how unusual they are. This is GOD's creativity that YOU get to enjoy if you have the right perspective. That's my invitation today. Put on new glasses when you look at your spouse. The glasses of appreciating their uniqueness and idiosyncrasies and make that something that fills you with joy and respectful amusement and admiration. Love, Belah PS Do you want help developing healthy mindsets like this? We can help and we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. Client Testimonial: Before Delighted Wife: "Coming into the program initially, things between us were very bad. We could not speak to each other at all and we felt pretty hopeless. Our home was constantly full of tension and negativity. My husband was singling out our son and taking his frustrations out on him." After Delighted Wife: "My biggest celebration is my shift in mindset and being able to see the good in my husband once again. Even for a long time while I was in the program, I was convinced that if my husband would "do something," things would improve. I did not realize how much I contributed to the discord in our marriage. I didn't realize how hard my heart was or how much healing needed to take place. It has changed everything! If I were to take the marital health assessment, I think our score would still be a low number, but we are the happiest we have ever been and I am going to focus on that and on making tomorrow better than today."

"Why can't I be fulfilled by what I SHOULD be able to?" -Higher-drive men, Higher-drive women "Why can't I get aroused by what I SHOULD be able to?" -Lower-drive women, PI/ED men I want to invite you to consider what brings you pleasure. I want you to consider what causes you to ENJOY life. At Delight Your Marriage we focus a lot of intimacy. (And this episode does too). God has designed sex to be a way to receive pleasure. But is it God's only way for you to receive pleasure in this amazing world? Did Jesus receive pleasure in this world? (Even without sex?) For higher drive husbands/wives (or those in sexless marriages): You are a wo/man who doesn't receive the pleasure from sex that you crave. Jesus was tempted in every way that we are, and yet he never sinned. (HOW???) For lower-drive wives/porn-induced ED/ED men: When you go on a journey of resensitizing your pleasure to everything this amazing world has to offer, you also resensitize yourself to the amazing gift of intimacy your spouse's unique body that God gives you in marriage. Gaining pleasure in many more things in this life is incredibly important for you to fulfill God's call in the world. Too many leaders/pastors/preachers have secret (and sometimes horrific) sins because they have no pressure release from the HARD work of ministry. They do not have ANY pleasure activities except sex (at least that's what they think constitutes a holy life). It's hard. Jesus knows it's hard to resist temptation. But he had MANY ways of receiving pleasure that had nothing to do with sex He had zero "sinful outside-of-marriage sex" and he had zero "holy inside-of-marriage sex". I invite you to listen with a curious heart to how God might want to invite you to resensitize yourself to the pleasure in HIS good world (in and out of marital intimacy) so that you can do the will of the Father ...as Jesus did. Blessings, Belah PS - We'd love to help you and your marriage be all that God wants it to be to ultimately support the life and call God wants you to have... go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for all the information of first steps! PPS -Recent wife grad: "I wish I could really express just how many celebrations I've had through my weeks in this program. Both alone, and in my marriage." Let's go! delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Many of our wife listeners have lower drives than their husbands. (I hear you!) And that's just the way it is. Nothing to be done, just deal with it. Also, if they're like I have been, since she has a lower sex drive she just has to put up with the requirement of her to make love even though she's less than enthusiastic about it because she has to have sex and can't do the things she really wants to be doing. Or sometimes avoids it altogether. I have been there. And so has Sarah. She and I both have high drive husbands. And we both know that sex is supposed to be a beautiful gift and a joy for him but we just couldn't desire it even if we wanted to. I want to allow you to hear Sarah's heart because she knew something wasn't right. She loved her husband and they waited till marriage to engage sexually together, as is biblical, but her desire just wasn't there, and it was so disheartening. But, she rejected the idea that there was nothing she could do about it. Even when sexual assault was in her past, she hoped God could still redeem and heal her sexuality. I'm excited for you to hear her story and see how you might be blessed by the advice and encouragement. Her first step was sharing her story with someone who gets it. That was the free Clarity Call she had with someone who had walked this road before and can share there is hope for change! Love, Belah PS - Would you like help? We would love to help. Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to have a compassionate and helpful conversation to evaluate if you're a good fit for our programs. PPS - If you're a husband who wants his wife to do what Sarah did, the best thing you can do is work on yourself first. From a guy who has been there, took the next steps, and did the work: "Before taking the course I would have defined our struggle as not being on the same page sexually. I thought that her view of me, and the attitudes that she held, were hurting our marriage. She thought I was too demanding and moody when my expectations weren't met. I felt she prioritized work, kids, church, her phone, etc. above me. The vast majority of the intimacy we had was duty sex. My biggest challenge has been my lack of understanding. I didn't realize how much pain I was causing her, or how self focused I was. I was trying to get her to change and should have been working on me. I am skilled at justifying myself and passing blame on my own heart. Understanding the concepts of Safe, Known, and Cherished was a big deal. Forgiveness and apologizing have been huge. The disciplines of faith statements, gratitude, prayer, and Bible reading make for a solid start to my day. My wife has told me she feels safe. She has begun to trust that my change is not a passing fad. I have gained understanding in how to love her well. I look forward to being around her, and to pampering her and loving her well. This has overflowed into intimacy emotionally, spiritually, and physically."

In approaching the new year, I invite you to rewind your calendar and consider...your marital performance in 2023. What if I asked your spouse what it was like being married to YOU this past year? Yikes! If my spouse chose to be fully open and honest I think I'd have plenty of... ehemmm... "growth-opportunities". :) Seriously though... feel free to go back through your calendar and check out what your priorities were throughout the year. Day by day. Week by week. Month by month. What was it like being married to YOU? If marriage is your first human assignment, was that reflected in... How you spent your time? How you spoke/listened to them? How you spent your energy? How you loved them the way he or she receives love? Assume you're looking at your year through your spouse's eyes. What were your challenges of the year? What were the things you should celebrate? Now that you have thought through that... We all know marriages are under attack, so what are you doing about it in your own home? You want it strong to withstand the challenges. & If you're a pastor or ministry leader, what are you doing about this for your flock or in your organization? (Aside: We have some exciting resources for ministry leaders that we'll be sharing with you in upcoming communications -- make sure you're on our email list to get notifications.) In this episode, I have some practical next steps and things to ponder as you're setting out into this fresh year. Love & Blessings, Belah PS - We'd love to help heal your marriage in 2024 (as has happened many times before), feel free to take us up on our gift to you: Clarity Call. delightyourmarriage.com/cc

As we are soon gathering together with loved ones to celebrate the Savior's birth, I would love for you to remember what life is all about. When we meet Jesus face to face, what do we want to be true of us? In today's episode, I walk you through a meditation I did with our men's graduate group a couple of months ago. It is really meant to give you a chance to consider eternity. What is Christmas really about? It's about Jesus. And are we living in light of His life, will and ultimate sacrifice. I invite you to listen in and gain more insight into what you want that day to be. Because we are Delight Your Marriage we focus a lot on marriage, but we will all stand before Jesus one day and this is good practice :) Love, Belah PS - Maybe you're considering launching into a healing season for your marriage in the New Year -- if so, sign up for a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - A recent lady graduate: "Years ago I prayed to God for a short life. I didn't want to break my marriage vow, but I didn't see how I could be happy with him and it was getting harder as the children became adults. Death seemed to be the only acceptable answer. I was obviously very unhappy. Now I enjoy spending time with him, look forward to dates and vacations, and we laugh and work things out together. I believe we are a great team! It's a miracle that we enjoy and like each other again. Physical intimacy is better than ever. He cares about me and I feel secure. When we come together physically, we feel closer and both of us look forward to it! I miss him when he gets busy with work and would be devastated if something happened to him." Maybe you're transformation is next. Learn more in a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

It's hard to discern (or even admit) if we are obsessed. So here's the definition: "an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind." Is your marriage an obsession? Or is God's will an obsession? (And your marriage is an important part of God's will for you.) I encourage you to consider what God's will is for you in this next season. It's all about priorities. If God is your first priority then everything else falls underneath. He puts all of our lives into perspective. Marriage shouldn't put all of our lives in perspective. It must be God first, then we can rightly serve our spouse well. I want to invite you to rightly obsess over God's will and put marriage in its proper place so that it's healed and somewhat on "autopilot" so you can get on with God's will for your life. Listen in to understand more about what this means for you. (I have an exciting announcement included in our conversation today, I'd love for you to hear it!) Love, Belah PS - If you're in a really hard place or even a really great place, I encourage you to get on a Clarity Call. Maybe (as a gent emailed me today) your marriage is a 10, but you feel you need to take this course because YOU need to become the man/woman your spouse needs, then we'd love to help. delightyourmarriage.com/cc A recent grad shared: (we try to never reuse testimonial quotes in multiple emails jfyi) "I've grown a lot spiritually, I had thought that I had always been a pretty good Christian...but realized that I was very selective in when and how I followed God's word. I feel a lot closer to God, and now realize that I can't really do marriage well on my own and truly need Him. The program was great! It so aligned with what I needed... If people seem stuck, don't hesitate to push...I know we should take that initiative ourselves but sometimes a spark or catalyst can help. I really believe in what you're doing...it's the best program out there… and think this program can really help a lot of people." Learn more at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

After 33 years of marriage, they were disconnected. At that point, they were sleeping in separate bedrooms. Maybe you're at a spot where it's hard to have hope because it has been SO hard for SO long. Jacques is here to say, even when only you do the work, it can change. Glory to God. Blessings, Belah PS - Could your marriage be one of the next ones to transform? Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. You don't have to, but what if you do? Quote from a client... Before the program: "My biggest struggle coming into MR was openness with my wife about what I was thinking and feeling and fear of asking her about what was going on in her life. I had just come out of therapy for my addiction of lust and porn and trust was a big issue. I wanted her to know that she was the only one for me and I didn't know how to do that. I knew our marriage could be so much more but didn't know how to make that happen. It was a constant weight on me that made my everyday life like walking around on eggshells." After the program: "DYM has given me the confidence and tools to be able to handle difficult situations with my wife. It has given me such a better understanding of how my wife thinks and what is important to her. I have learned that I have to be the leader of the relationship. I love how the program was based on scripture in the bible. I learned how God wanted us to treat our wives and then how to do it. Surprisingly it has helped with my porn and lustful addiction. Now I respect women and my wife as they are all God's daughters. I am so excited for the next stage of my marriage."

You may wonder when God is going to show up in your life. In your situation. In your marriage. You may believe in God but don't feel His love for you, or at least haven't for a long time. Maybe you felt His love for you at first, and that is what brought you to give your life to Jesus, but slowly, things have really gotten stale. Maybe like your marriage. It was great at first. But slowly other loves entered the picture. Children. Careers. Commitments. Current events. Costs. Culture. Cars. Curtains. (Other things that also start with "C". :) Ultimately, our job is to sacrifice for our priorities. God. Spouse. Kids. Everything else. If you're not sacrificing for each (in that order), then it makes sense that you're not feeling the love from them. I encourage you to listen with a curious heart attuned to what the Lord may be drawing you to. Blessings, Belah PS - If you'd like our help with your marriage, your first step is a Clarity Call (a free gift from us) delightyourmarriage.com/cc Before the Delighted Wife Program: "Problems with tension and unforgiveness, exhaustion from childcare, loss of connection and lack of wholehearted intimacy. Husband was extremely resentful of me. I've lost respect for him. Was close to divorce. There wasn't peace at home, kids constantly saw us arguing, I didn't want to be at home, I was doing many things on my own with the kids because my husband didn't want to do things with me, I was craving for other male attention who valued me." After the Delighted Wife Program: "My heart has softened and I can now see the brokenness in my husband, that he was just a very wounded soul. He was trying to love me and wanted this marriage to work but he had no clue how to go about improving it and was instead making things worse. Wholehearted intimacy. Not arguing for a long time and the atmosphere has completely shifted, there is peace at home and he is a much happier and better father to the children... Impacted everything, it turned everything around. My husband is now loving, patient, caring, and a very present and patient father."

Tomorrow is the day (in the US) we set aside to be grateful. Or it's a day we set aside to get frustrated with family, binge eat, and watch football. Just kidding. I invite you to do Thanksgiving this year, Jesus way. Let's allow peace, joy, and thanksgiving being the most important aspects of this holiday. Everything else is after those. Let's be intentional to not allow wounds of the past (even from yesterday) to rob our kids or extended family of the opportunity to see how Jesus followers love each other. Whether they deserve it or not. I want to just encourage you to do a few things if your marriage is tense right now. Take 100% ownership to turn it to thanksgiving. Here are some very basic and very practical steps. Love, Belah PS - If you'd like our help to turn your marriage around, we're here for you. Your first step is a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Randy felt lonely, disconnected, and that his wife cared about everything and everyone else more than his wife. He was a strong believer and prayed for change in his marriage. He stumbled upon Delight Your Marriage through podcast searching and found something that seemed right. He and his wife really dug into the material. And it did start to make sense. Sadly, they were again up at 3 am and both very frustrated and hurting. She decided to make the free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc And ultimately, they both chose to do the work together. As a natural skeptic and somewhat pessimistic he was concerned whether it was... 1- Going to work for them. 2- Whether it had a cult-like vibe. I think he was wise to consider this. But he assures you on this episode that it wasn't like that at all. Our goal is marriage transformed so they can continued doing the work of the Kingdom even better. Randy shares about how they are adoptive parents. Such important work requires a healthy marriage to love well. I'm so glad to see what God has done in these two and what He's continuing to do! Blessings, Belah PS - Join a free Clarity Call with a Clarity Advisor like Randy did and see how we can help you specifically: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - The holidays are coming. I encourage you to consider who in your life needs Delight Your Marriage. Maybe today is the day to tell them: You say: "Have you heard of DYM?" They say: "No" You say: "I'll send it to you". And then send them one or two and write: "Here are some that I got a lot out of". (That way it doesn't make them feel like you think there's something wrong with them.) Who knows, maybe you just changed the trajectory of a family, forever. Just by sending them a podcast.

Dads, When it comes to fatherhood, do you feel at times like you don't know what you're doing? At times, does the chaos and frustration of it all feel like you're left to solve a very difficult puzzle without directions? Dr. Don is here to tell you, "Every dad CAN win". He's been there. His wife, the "Relationship Ninja", Suzanne wants you to know that you are handpicked by God for this. For fatherhood. For your children. You can do this. Early on in his family life, Don felt like parenting was more like solving a Rubix cube with no instructions. Over the years of raising a family of 7 kids and gaining insights from other experts, they've discovered family comes down to 2 words: a- relationships and b- culture Don says, if you build your family right on the inside, then you can tackle anything that happens on the outside. They invite you to constantly ask the question: How can I connect to my child today? Words, time, & creating experiences and memories are all examples of how to connect. I specifically love when Suzanne says as parents, our goal is to take our kids from being parent-controlled to self-controlled. She also shares how wives can encourage their husbands in the midst. Seriously, gents, you can win at fatherhood. Even if you didn't have a role model. And even if--like the Rangers (TX MLB not NY NHL :)--maybe your track record hasn't been great... it is possible to still win! Seriously though... You can be a good father. It really is not too late. Don is opening an opportunity for you in the new year for fathers to learn how to do just that for free. Just email him [email protected] to find out more. Their many resources, podcasts, and courses can be found at crazycoolfamily.com I hope this message will encourage you to keep fighting to win! Love, Belah PS - We'd love to help you with your marriage. Maybe that has felt like it is the thing holding you back from working on your fatherhood. We'd love to get you to the other side and really enjoy peace and joy in your marriage, thus empowering your kids! delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call to discover your first step in marriage healing. Recent graduate wrote: Before men's program... "this inability caused me to be concerned about our future and caused me to feel like I was alone... There were so many needs and desires that would go unmet, that I struggled to be holy and joyful. After men's program... "Too many [celebrations] to recount here! In summary, she has made the most intimate bids for connection with me over the last weeks than I can remember! These have been both sexual and non-sexual. My biggest celebration could be that I feel loved and desired by my wife again, and that is so fun and empowering for life on a mission!" Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc so we can help you have that story too!