Delight Your Marriage

You might be one who can work all day and feel great. And maybe you struggle to take a vacation. Maybe if you're really honest with yourself, you think productivity is next to godliness. If you're like Brad and I -- that's us nodding our heads. We're just wired that way. That's not the end of the story... But Brad had a mentor that wouldn't let go of him until he could see that drivenness is ruining his life. Not the fact that he is driven (Brad didn't give that up), but the fact that he felt he wasn't enough unless he achieved X, Y, and Z. Brad's marriage journey is pretty powerful and directly relates. If Brad was more committed to his work than his wife -- she would feel betrayed. As many wives do who have this dynamic in their marriages. Many out there sacrifice the possibility of peace and joy in their lives because they're too busy to notice the life Christ offers them. God is sufficient. God rested. God delights in us -- you can delight in this world, and you can delight in those He intends for you to delight, your spouse and your children. Let's abide in Him and learn from Brad as he shares these refreshing insights. Find out more about Brad and his work with marriages in churches at gracemarriage.com Blessings, Belah PS - Ready to take the next step in healing your marriage? Schedule a free Clarity Call today (before prices increase!) PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: "My contact with DYM has completely transformed my life. I was depressed, pessimistic, shackled by shame, and largely unaware of who I was and what effect I was having on my family. Through the skills and habits I learned in DYM God has truly made me a new creation. I now look forward to each new day and have a deep, healing, life-giving relationship with God that has freed me from shame, depression, and self-loathing."

Today marks the day that God stooped so low to live a perfect life and die a gruesome sinner's death -- to save you. And save me. Why? Not because we were perfect. Not because we could earn His love. Who could earn that? But because He decided we were worth it. We aren't deserving of His sacrifice because we're so great -- it's because HE'S so great. He's so good, kind, and gracious that He decided we were priceless to come and rescue. And if you are priceless -- a prized treasure Jesus came to save... Is your spouse? If the answer is yes... Are you treating your spouse like they are Jesus' prized treasure? Priceless in the eyes of the God of the Universe? Do you believe they are? In today's episode, I hope to remind you of how loved you are by the Lord. And with that in mind, I hope you also remember how loved your spouse is. May that encourage us to love each other better and with a fuller heart. Blessings, Belah PS - Ready to take the next step in healing your marriage? Schedule a free Clarity Call today (before prices increase!) PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: "My contact with DYM has completely transformed my life. I was depressed, pessimistic, shackled by shame, and largely unaware of who I was and what effect I was having on my family. Through the skills and habits I learned in DYM God has truly made me a new creation. I now look forward to each new day and have a deep, healing, life-giving relationship with God that has freed me from shame, depression, and self-loathing."

Become the man your wife respects and desires again—before prices increase Book your Clarity Call now -------------------------------------------- I'm speaking to a man who wants to fix things. He is not a whiner, complainer, or blamer. He's interested in taking responsibility and making things better. But if he's really honest with himself, sometimes he feels that his wife prioritizes the kids above him. If you're in that category, I'd like to speak to you directly. You're right, it's not ok. This isn't a good dynamic. And if she's a Jesus-follower, it's also not biblical. Ok. Now that that's settled. What do you do? The thing you CAN control is yourself. You can update the lens by which you are evaluating the situation. As a driven guy you know that if you do the same thing in business, you'll get the same results. But if you shift gears and do something else -- you'll see different results. That's what I'm inviting you to do today. Shift gears. Try on a different set of lenses and see if God can change your marriage through you. Let's go. Here to see you win, Belah PS - Ready to take the next step in healing your marriage? Schedule a free Clarity Call today (before prices increase!): https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: "I was living in a repeating cycle of expecting sex, not being fulfilled by it because of her lack of desire for me, being angry at her for not trying to connect with me in the relationship, holding it in for as long as possible, then trying to "fix it" by talking to her about it or lashing out at her..[Now,] The biggest celebration I have had would be my change in perspective…I have learned that as a husband and father it is up to me to set the tone in our family. I am now living in God's purpose and design and the pieces around me are falling into place. Realizing that it's not what happens around me but how I see it and react to it has been the biggest blessing from this course."

526-How to Get Her In the Mood (& Turn Her On) [Re-Release] I think all the wives will want their husbands to listen to this one. Because I have the good fortune of working with men every (work) day and hearing their unfiltered thoughts about intimacy… I can help you understand why your wife often rejects you. One of the major truths is that it's SCARY to initiate sex with your wife. So, you probably do… But in general, it's a half-invested way, in hopes that her rejection won't feel so painful. Because from experience it has been rejected, even your best attempts. Fast forward to today. Now, because a husband's attempt at enticing his wife to make love is so "inadequate" for fear of rejection. (Jfyi "inadequate" was the thesaurus's replacement for "lame" ) For this reason, the wife naturally would reject it. But what if we took the fear out of this exchange entirely? And your enticing her towards intimacy was filling for her and could even be successful!? AND you're not full of fear. Is that even possible? I think with these insights, you will be well on your way. to invite a wife–who is never in the mood– to be in the mood! [Original Release Date: October 8th, 2021] PS - Ready to take the next step in healing your marriage? Schedule a free Clarity Call with one of our Clarity Advisors: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching Program graduate: Before MR, miscommunication and emotional distance were our normal. We argued often, and a deep sense of distrust had taken root, largely because I had failed to make our marriage a true priority...The ongoing conflict left me carrying a constant weight of guilt while doing ministry on campus, knowing things at home were not going well...[After MR], I've come to realize that the problem began with me and was fueled by my own selfishness...Shifting from arguing nearly every day—or at least every other day—to having only a handful of disagreements in the past six months has brought a new sense of stability and peace to our home...I now feel equipped with the tools to continue moving our marriage forward.

[Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description] As silly as it may seem, something as sacred and biblical as marital intimacy comes right down to the practical of "hey, it's just too quiet in the house for intimacy". So, how do you solve for the biggest reasons a couple doesn't connect in this God-honoring way? Well, that's what today's conversation is all about. In this episode, we do a lot less philosophy and theology and get into the specific tools that can help you no matter how busy your life is right now. Even if other things you've looked into haven't given you something practical to do that is attainable. My goal by the end of this episode is for you to consider new things you can implement into your life that can tear down the blocks to intimacy in a practical way. Ultimately, at Delight Your Marriage want to help and make your spouse and marriage feel loved, playful, and even passionate together. To read an AI generated summary, click here. Belah

[Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description] Sometimes I have been asked if I, as a woman, should be teaching men. When it comes up, I really appreciate that question because it shows a level of maturity and commitment to scripture. The truth is, I never intended to be coaching or training men. That, in fact, is something I was against, at first. I intended to just follow Titus 2 by inviting women to learn to love their husbands well. As I wrote the book and started the podcast and coaching women with this end in mind, men started reaching out to me. It was kind of uncomfortable at first. I didn't know what to do with it. They were asking how they could get their wife to listen to my material. "I have no idea. That's on you." I wasn't cold-hearted, I just didn't think it was prudent. Well, I was speaking to my husband, and he felt like it would be ok to speak to some of them via email or possibly a phone call, just so I could understand. And when I did, I could tell "wow, now I see why she is rejecting". And not only that, I could see that she was really suffering too. So with prayer and wise counsel and the blessing of my husband, I went for it and tried a pilot coaching program for men. Amazingly, every single man got amazing results (even though only 1 went through the course -- and she didn't know he did it!) Glory to God. From there, we've tweaked and updated and, by God's grace, are at a place where God is doing miracle after miracle here. Would love you to hear Aaron's story of the pursuit of God's way in his marriage. As a pastor, he likely had to grapple with this question -- is it ok to be trained by a woman in this topic? And he decided the answer should be yes. You're welcome to check out our convictions surrounding Women in Leadership, here. And the Lord worked in his heart and in his marriage -- even though only he did the work. We are so excited to share his story with you! Would love to work with you too! delightyourmarriage.com/cc for next steps. To read an AI generated summary, click here. Belah

[Belah here - AI was not used to draft or write this description] I have grown in my journey of processing pain. But I still slip up. Today, I want to share with you a recent insight I've received on what I still need God's help to work through. I hope we can walk together, looking at our Savior, first and foremost to discover His purposes for our suffering. Your suffering matters. It matters to God. It matters in His will. There is comfort in knowing He has a purpose for it. I'd love to share what God is teaching me through His word and what I hope will be encouraging for you in your story. Let us be open to being guided by His Word first and foremost. Let us see His correction as His kindness that leads us to repentence because He is so, so good. To read an AI generated summary, click here. Love & sincere prayers for you my precious listeners, Belah PS - Quote from a recent graduate: After being celibate almost a decade, they are now intimate regularly and both are thrilled! Wife: "Overall I'm crazy about the DYM system and process. It worked for us like nothing else did in our 38 years of marriage." Husband: "I have learned that God is more important than sex. And sex isn't a reward for doing what I should be doing any way" Mic drop. :) Would love to invite you to be part of the journey! delightyourmarriage.com/cc to learn more.

A Marriage Transformation 5 Years in the Making: Dan's Story There are transformations that happen fast—like a spark, a breakthrough, a moment where everything shifts.And then there are transformations that happen patiently, steadily, layer by layer… over years. Dan's story is that second kind. Because five years ago, Dan wasn't walking around thinking his marriage was "bad." He actually wrote on his intake form that their marriage was probably a six or seven—a good marriage. A steady marriage. A marriage with history and shared life and inside jokes. But there was one ache that wouldn't let him rest: Intimacy had disappeared. And the pain of that—especially when you love your spouse, you're faithful, you're trying, you're confused, and you still can't "fix it"—can start to completely take up your mind. And Dan could feel it happening. So he did what so many people do when they're desperate: he went looking for answers. "This lady knows my pain…" Dan had never been a podcast guy. But when the ache gets loud enough, you'll do things you've never done before. He started listening to podcasts, searching for help, trying to understand. At one point, he even heard a podcaster say something like: Maybe you're not in the right marriage. Maybe you need someone new. And something in him basically said: No. Not here. Not this. Then he found the Delight Your Marriage podcast. And at some point he realized: "This lady knows me. She knows my pain." He listened to tons of episodes back-to-back. And for the first time, he didn't feel crazy. He didn't feel alone. He felt understood. But understanding is only the beginning. When pain starts shaping your identity Dan shared how consuming the pain became. He couldn't focus. He couldn't think about much else. He was constantly running conversations in his mind—replaying, analyzing, spiraling. And this is what matters if you relate: When intimacy is strained, it doesn't just affect your bedroom.It affects your heart. Dan knew his wife loved him. They spent time together. Their life was connected. But intimacy was absent—and that absence created a deep wound. The "last button" moment Dan told the story of how he finally joined the Coaching program. He had passed on signing up a couple times. And then the third time, he went through the whole checkout process… and just didn't click the last button. And he prayed something like: If God wants me to click that button, I'm going to click that button. Then came one of those days—the kind of day you can't focus, can't breathe right, can't stop the frustration boiling under the surface. So he clicked. He even looked it up later: October 16th, 2020. Sometimes obedience doesn't look "spiritual." Sometimes it looks like a trembling hand over a mouse, clicking a button you're scared to click. But God uses that. "I wasn't ready for success yet." Dan's growth wasn't immediate fireworks. It was slow. It was real. And honestly, it was holy. He said something deeply mature: "I probably wasn't ready for a lot of success in the very beginning… I would have misused some of that success." Do you hear the humility in that? He realized that early on, even when he was doing "the right things," his heart motive was still off. He was still doing the work for what he could get. And that's the turning point for so many people. Because you can "apply principles" and still be self-centered.You can "try harder" and still be serving your own appetite.And God loves you too much to let that be the foundation. Dan described the real shift like this: "I'm not doing it for her. I'm doing it for the Lord. And intimacy becomes a byproduct." That is biblical alignment. That is maturity. That is worship. The brotherhood you didn't know you needed Dan thought he'd try the graduate group for a only couple months… because he "didn't do well with whining." Five years later, he's still there. Why? Because what surprised him most wasn't the content—it was the brotherhood. When men get into a room (yes, even a Zoom room), they size each other up. But in this space, men began becoming honest, vulnerable, accountable, and deeply connected. Dan shared: "Once you get through some of the things we deal with… there's not a whole lot left to keep secret." That's not shame. That's freedom. And there is something healing that happens when you're fully seen—and still loved. He described men calling him out when frustration rose. It was painful at the time… but helpful, because those men knew what he truly wanted: to grow his marriage and grow with God. This is what iron sharpening iron looks like in real life. The tools that change daily life Dan mentioned a few practical pieces that became part of his transformation: Daily gratitudes Faith statements Learning "known, safe, wholeheartedly cherished" These were just a few of the tools he learned through the Coaching program that radically changed his day-to-day, and in turn, his marriage. For example, Dan admitted he was giving his wife

Truths Inspiring Me About Confidence and Character — A Conversation with My Son Sometimes the most convicting spiritual lessons don't come from a sermon. They come from hearing a child say something honest— something simple— and realizing God is speaking through it. And as you listen to this conversation about habits, confidence, and walking with Jesus, you may feel that gentle nudge to return to what's true. Lean into that. Because your habits are always taking you somewhere. And the small choices you make today shape who you become tomorrow. You Don't Drift Into Confidence You might think confidence is a personality trait. Something you either have or you don't. But confidence is rarely about personality. It's about formation. It's about what you repeatedly do. When you build habits that align with truth — reading Scripture, practicing gratitude, caring for your body, choosing honesty — something steady begins forming inside of you. Not hype. Not ego. Not loud self-assertion. But quiet strength. And the opposite is also true. When you repeatedly avoid truth, bend honesty, indulge jealousy, or neglect your health, that forms something too. And eventually, that formation becomes your character. You don't wake up one day confident or insecure by accident. You drift there — one habit at a time. What You Feed Your Mind Shapes Your Identity If you only occasionally open your Bible, what fills the gap? Your worries. Your spouse's tone. Your insecurities. The voice in your head that says you're not enough. But when you consistently feed your mind the truth of Scripture, something changes. You begin to live from being cared for. Not striving for approval. Not grasping for validation. But anchored in being loved. You cannot feel confident if you don't believe you are deeply cared for. And that belief doesn't grow accidentally. It grows through repetition. Gratitude Rewires Your Perspective If you only focus on what you don't have, you will start to believe you have nothing. You will compare. You will resent. You will feel behind. And even when you do get what you wanted, it won't satisfy you — because comparison has already shaped your lens. But when you practice gratitude — intentionally naming what is good — you retrain your heart to see abundance. You begin to notice: God has been kind. God has provided. God has not left you alone. Gratitude doesn't ignore pain. It simply refuses to let pain define the whole story. And that builds stability. That builds joy. That builds confidence rooted in truth rather than circumstance. Your Body Matters More Than You Think You are not "just a soul." You are embodied. Jesus didn't come as a concept. He came in flesh. Your body is not accidental. It is not disposable. Scripture calls it a temple of the Holy Spirit. When you neglect your body — through constant exhaustion, poor nourishment, or silent self-criticism — you aren't just affecting your health. You are shaping how you see yourself. And when you care for your body — even in small ways — you are saying: "This matters. God's creation matters." Confidence grows when you respect what God has given you. Not in pride. But in stewardship. The Habit That Quietly Undermines Everything Let's talk about honesty. You may not consider yourself a liar. But do you exaggerate to seem more impressive? Withhold truth to avoid discomfort? Bend the story to protect your image? Lies feel small in the moment. But every time you tell one, something inside you weakens. Because you know the truth. Even if no one else does — you do. And when you repeatedly override your own integrity, you slowly erode your own confidence. You cannot feel strong while betraying yourself. Real confidence is inseparable from integrity. And integrity requires courage — especially when no one is watching. God Delights in Integrity Zephaniah says something stunning: "The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." -Zephaniah 3:17 ESV But just before that, it speaks of a people who refuse deceit, who walk humbly, who seek the Lord. "Yes, I will punish those who participate in pagan worship ceremonies, and those who fill their masters' houses with violence and deceit." -Zephaniah 1:9 NLT God delights in truth. God delights in humility. God delights in integrity. Not because He is demanding perfection — but because integrity aligns you with how you were created to live. When you choose honesty. When you confess sin. When you turn from a habit that weakens you — even if you fail again tomorrow — you are stepping toward freedom. You are stepping toward formation. And God delights in that movement. You Are Not Stuck If you're listening and thinking: "I have bad habits." "I've let things slide." "I don't like who I've been becoming." Hear this clearly: You are not stuck. Habits can be unlearned. Patterns can be interrupted. Integrity can be rebui