Delight Your Marriage

When I was first with my (now) husband he showed me my value. Value I didn't know I had. Worth I didn't know I was. He taught me how precious my heart was. He taught me how precious my body was. God loved me through my husband. God healed me through my husband. I remember on our first date I told him that I had never felt safer in my whole life. I felt completely respected and honored by this man. I felt like he would protect me from anything and everything (even from himself). Unassuming. Tender. Kind. And when I read the scriptures, I see that is what Jesus is to women. He is kind. He is loving. He doesn't speak to them harshly. He is moved by compassion when they cry. Seriously. Take a minute and think. Is there ever a time that Jesus is harsh to women? Even when he tenderly corrects Martha, it is in protecting Mary (a woman who had the gall to value herself enough to learn from the great Rabbi). I invite you to explore with me how Jesus treated women. Men if you have never learned from Jesus in this way, I think this will help you. It will help you see your wife as the daughter of the king. As a precious soul that you are tasked to heal and care for. And God can heal her through you... through your genuine safety. Book referenced: Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer Blessings, Belah PS - If you want our help, feel free to go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for more info. PPS - Recent husband grad: BEFORE: "Constantly getting rejected was demoralizing and took a mental toll on me for sure. Not being listened to and the lack of respect was basically a punch in the gut pretty much daily, causing depression and definitely other issues within the house as well with the kids also." AFTER: "I wanted to think that I was doing all the right things and that it was her problems that were causing all of the issues between, but I was definitely wrong. Through this program, I have realized that I definitely was living up to my "man of the house" role. Mainly I was not providing her safety. My actions, or lack of actions depending on the situation, were not getting my wife into a safe place where she would be in the mindset to share herself with me physically, mentally, or spiritually. By doing this in turn it has proved to be beneficial with what I feel is much more respect from her, especially around the kids, as well as more frequent episodes of lovemaking."

Solomon. The wisest man in the whole world. Ever. Fell to sex. David. The man after God's own heart. Fell to sex. Samson. The real-life superhero. Fell to sex. Falling to sex is something men have done for a long time... AND each was severely punished. 1 Cor 10:8 We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died... These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us... 12 So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! 13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted d beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. For your own sake (much less for the sake of everyone who knows you follow Jesus) get humble. Humble yourself while the monster is one inch tall. Confess the internet search, the extended browsing, the questionable conversation, the __________________________.... Get humble at the earliest warning level. Run into the light. Share it exactly with your brother or sister (not co-ed).​​​​ ​​You have an opportunity to get healed. Put crazy strong boundaries in place. ​ Every man in our community... be open with your sin to another man. Every woman in our community... be open with your sin to another woman. Let's not end up with their consequences... Humble yourself. Be specific. Own your sin. Confess it to another person. Fully repent. Allow them to pray for you. Submit yourself to their accountability and humble yourself over and over again​...​​​ ...that you may be healed. Listen in to today's extra short (since it's a Monday) podcast. Belah PS - If you want our help, feel free to go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for more info.

Today's story is by a wonderful man who needed help to receive the intimacy he was really hoping for. As a person who believed in Jesus and was serious about the Word of God, the lack of intimacy in his marriage was not something he was willing to find a sinful outlet for. Instead, he had heard of Delight Your Marriage and began listening to the podcast. After listening for several years, he decided to sign up for the men's program when it began to be offered. The first time he went through the 3-month program, he learned, implemented, and saw results! He saw some great changes in his marriage. But after a year, he realized it wasn't enough. So, he did it again... I invite you to hear what his changes have been this time around, after he had a foundation to build from and really finetune his shifts. He's got some exciting things to share as a result of his second round of the program…an even greater progression of growth in his marriage. If you've done "all the things" but haven't seen your marriage change, I invite you to listen to David's story... God is still changing hearts and lives, marriages, and families. God bless you, Belah PS - Could your marriage change? What do you have to lose…and potentially gain? We invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. Graduate quote: Before the program: "Coming in, I knew my wife felt that I was unsafe for her, and that she felt alone and unknown by me. On my end, I felt deeply regretful of marrying her, angry with her, and hopeless to ever have a joyful marriage. I felt totally unattracted to her and trapped. I became very depressed as a result of our unhappy marriage feeling like a life sentence that couldn't improve. The inability I felt to do anything positive in my marriage made me hesitant and unconfident in my vocation as a minister. I felt like I had zero positive influence with my own wife, so how could I have any influence with others that I hoped to point to Christ or build a trusting relationship with. Even more so, my role as a dad and as a friend to others was constricted by how small and worthless I felt." After the program: "I've seen progress in almost every area. I have grown in my own perspective on my wife. This has stunned me, and given me more hope than I've ever felt. The faith-statements, the forgiveness exercises, and the daily gratitudes have made an enormous change inside me. The ways my wife saw me as unsafe and unsatisfied all seemed from my heart of anger and ungratefulness toward her. Forgiveness toward her has softened my heart, and the daily gratitude has accumulated to change my attitude toward her, even in a daily way. I sincerely have a delight toward her that I've not felt in over a decade."

You may be one who is really good about getting yourself filled up in order to be your best for your spouse. But for the rest of us, this episode is for you. I think we know that we cannot give what we do not have. But that doesn't stop us from trying (and failing often...Oh, how many times I have been there!) Then my stressed feelings take over and I am not kind or loving to my highest priority human, ehemm, my spouse. I want to encourage you that God is one who can fill your cup. But you have to discipline yourself and make room for him to renew and refresh you. Ultimately, your spouse cannot satisfy. God does. We want to get filled up with him and from that overflow, we bring our best to serving our spouse. Love, Belah PS - How can we help you? From some people who graduated recently (not married to each other). Women's program: Before: There wasn't peace at home, kids constantly see us arguing, I didn't want to be at home...My husband was extremely resentful of me. I've lost respect for him. Was close to divorce. After: Impacted everything, it turned everything around. My husband is now loving, patient, caring, and a very present and patient father. Husband's program: Before: There were many big marital struggles. Coming in, I knew my wife felt that I was unsafe for her, and that she felt alone and unknown by me. On my end, I felt deeply regretful of marrying her, angry with her, and hopeless to ever have a joyful marriage. I felt totally unattracted to her and trapped. After: I've seen progress in almost every area. I have grown in my own perspective on my wife. This has stunned me, and given me more hope than I've ever felt. I sincerely have a delight toward her that I've not felt in over a decade. Wow, I can't begin to think of improving it. It's amazing. PPS - If you're ready for these changes. Who knows, maybe this'll be you in 3 months? delightyourmarriage.com/cc to learn more.

He's been a Christian for many years, yet couldn't seem to "crack" how people transform. He knew he wasn't where God would want him to be, but couldn't figure out how to get there. He had followed Delight Your Marriage for years and applied what he picked up, but it didn't seem to move the needle. Finally, he decided it was time and joined. He started seeing changes in himself and changes in his walk with God. And he was thrilled to discover a community of men that was, in his words, "extraordinary." He learned to be a man of God in a real sense alongside other men growing, as well. He finally felt unstuck. I hope this is encouraging and inspiring to you as well. Blessings, Belah PS - If you're a wife or a husband, I encourage you to sign up for a Clarity Call to see how you, too, can witness this kind of transformation in yourself and in your marriage. delightyourmarriage.com/cc From a wife graduate who also felt stuck: "Coming into the program, I felt stuck. My marriage was 1 year into recovery from my husband's infidelity, and though we had been counseling and working on moving forward, I felt like we hadn't made much progress. I had a major lack of joy and felt depleted emotionally and physically. I was unable to be the mom I wanted to be, and certainly wasn't able to love my husband well (though I wanted to!)" After the program: "The trajectory of my life has changed in a dramatic way. I feel more sure of the direction my life is heading. I am no longer allowing emotion or fear to control the direction of my life. I want my GPS to be the Bible, and Jesus as the driver. I am sure that God is trustworthy and capable and I am growing in allowing him space to work. I have grown in my character, my life goals are more aligned with God's, and I believe I am being obedient to God's will in my marriage."

My son, age 10, is going to talk to you today. And I invite you to ​​imagine this is your son. What kind of father do you want him to see? A leader? A man of character? A man of strength and integrity? So many wives want that for their sons, but they are unwilling to do what's necessary to make space for that to be a reality. These wives (and sadly I've been in that place way too many times) give into fear. Fear that he won't do what "needs to be done" in her eyes. ​​​​​​​​ So, instead of letting him lead, she takes charge and controls, criticizes, and even "mothers her husband" (yuck!)... Then... she expects him to stand up and lead? That wouldn't be sensical. So your husband either shuts down and reverts to apathy or he may get angry and explode. ​​​​ And ultimately, how does that impact the kids? ​​ On our episode, my son is actually going to be painfully honest about how we live this out (and there are some less-than-flattering revelations un/fortunately). The point is...​​ Your kids need their father to take his place as the leader of the home. ​​He was designed for this. ​My son points out,​ that it's a burden. And taking responsibility for the home is a scary thing. ​ How do you "get" your husband to lead? ​​There's a way to get there and it's not by controlling... it's about giving up the control. (I'll define what that means). I hope wives listen to my son with fresh ears from the perspective of a little boy who needs a dad to look up to. ​​As it may change your heart in a way that my words couldn't. (Also, my son sings a song to his papa at the end... I hope it makes you smile. Song: Saved My Life by Andy Grammer and R3HAB) Love, Belah PS - If you're a wife who is scared to give up control like we are encouraging, I was there! Your next step is a Clarity Call here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc A wife graduated today and wrote: "The trajectory of my life has changed in a dramatic way. I feel more sure of the direction my life is heading. I am no longer allowing emotion or fear to control the direction of my life. I want my GPS to be the Bible, and Jesus as the driver. I am sure that God is trustworthy and capable and I am growing in allowing him space to work. I have grown in my character, my life goals are more aligned with God's, and I believe I am being obedient to God's will in my marriage." God can totally transform your heart and your marriage, we get to walk wives by the hand into that reality many times over. Find out more and how we can help you on a free Clarity Call.

They saved themselves for marriage. (Yay!) But there were other hurdles encountered as a result of a lack of insight around intimacy and God's wonderful design. Hear how Lindsay got to the other side. Was it just flipping a switch and suddenly there's freedom? No. It was a process. It was a journey, and it took support and guidance. I look forward to you hearing from someone who got there, and you can, too. For men: her husband went first. For women: she had to commit and realize it was important enough for her to get free. Love, Belah PS - Like Lindsay, if you want freedom in your intimacy but have hang-ups from purity culture, you can get on a free Clarity Call to be listened to and asked questions. Maybe our program is the right fit for you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc If you're a husband who sees his wife "holding back" because of this, Lindsay's husband took the men's program first, so I also encourage you to get on a Clarity Call. delightyourmarriage.com/cc Program Graduate Quote: Before the program: "We had recurring arguments surrounding intimacy. I felt like [my husband's] love was conditional and he felt like I neglected his needs. It was so discouraging. [My husband] felt lonely and I felt like a failure. The cycle would repeat every couple months, leaving both of us discouraged and hopeless that things could ever change… especially after 23 years of marriage. It impacted every relationship in our life, including our kids, work, in ministry, etc." Same graduate after the program: "I am amazed at the peace and unity in our marriage. I no longer feel like sex is an obligation but something that I am really learning to enjoy! It's better than it has ever been. I have a hard time taking credit for it because [my husband] is killing it at implementing the principles from his 'Masculinity Reclaimed' program. I have never felt more known, safe or wholeheartedly cherished. It is easy to respond to a man who loves me like this. It is easy to be attracted to and vulnerable with a man who loves me like Jesus loves his church. I have really grown in vulnerability, boldness and freedom in my sexuality, including discovering how sex can be so enjoyable for me. And turns out, [my husband] LOVES when I enjoy it! I am overcoming my physical insecurities and realizing that my body is a gift for my husband. What a beautiful design and privilege that I can please, comfort and bless my husband in intimacy. I want to continue being courageous to experience all God has for our marriage. I see how my upbringing and the influence of culture have warped how I think and hindered me from experiencing marriage like God designed. I see how I desperately need God to renew my mind to see myself, marriage and sex the way He does. This is the best marriage material we have ever come across. The Lord is using you in huge ways!"

DYM Listeners -- Thank you SO much for all your help with this Pre-Engaged Workbook launch. And God got us on the charts... #1 New Release in Christian Dating & Relationships!!! Thanking God for His favor!! (Being on the charts means it will be seen by many more people). And a special thank you to Maria, Delighted Wife Facilitator, who was our amazing book editor! She edited and gave feedback and edited again -- Thank you! May God use this in a mighty way in the lives of those who read it. "It truly is a life changing resource if couples will apply themselves to the principles." Blessings, Belah PS - If you haven't yet purchased / reviewed the Pre-Engaged workbook, would love you to add your 5-star review to help spread this work as far as possible. Thank you!

We are LOVING the excitement about the Pre-Engaged Workbook, which will be released soon. (It is supposed to go live today, but isn't available yet... there is a hold-up in the review process. We will let you know once it goes live!) --- What I think happens a lot in marriages is a dynamic of competition. They both want to impress their spouse, and both of them are clawing on top of each other trying to get the other one to notice them and admire them. They're trying to get their spouse to see that they're doing a good job. At the very same moment, the other spouse is trying to get them to see that they're doing a good job and trying to impress them. So each is trying to get their security and their approval and their sense of doing a good job from their spouse. And so this competition takes hold. Instead of enjoying each other and the gift that they are---in the strengths and the differences---they are competing and they can't see past their own hurt and lack of encouragement from their spouse. So, what I highly recommend is that you consider if this dynamic is happening in your home. Are you trying to get compliments and admiration and encouragement from your spouse but getting hurt over and over and over again? My recommendation is that you listen to this episode to understand how to actually receive the affirmation, the approval, and the encouragement you crave. The good news is you could actually have both security and affirmation… and change the dynamic from competition to love and generous compliments. You'll find out how if you listen to today's episode. Blessings, Belah PS - Help could be a click away…you're invited to schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see if you're a good fit for our programs. What do graduates say about the results of the program? "Before I took the program, I thought my wife and I were getting on ok, but as it turned out this was far from the case. It soon became clear that my wife had been feeling very lonely and isolated for years, and this had been showing in her behaviour, which though pleasant, was somewhat aloof and detached emotionally." "Things moved exponentially, very quickly, though not without struggle and some reverses.. She did not recognise this "new husband" as she put it! …Completely unintentionally I had made my wife feel ignored, not attended to, and taken for granted… Communication was generally businesslike rather than affectionate. …As the program has gone on, huge strides have been made in our marriage. We now spend quality time together most meal times, we've started going out on dates again, we are much more playful than before and we enjoy being with each other. Most importantly, my wife has relaxed, she's begun to trust me, and her true bubbly self is coming out into the open. And it's a delight to see. It almost feels like it used to when we were first dating. Sex has even taken on a completely new appearance."

I just have to apologize ahead of time because this headline is way too sensational. I can hear you saying, "It's frankly not realistic." I get it. But, hear me out. (Or, hear him out...? :) So, Hunter had twin 4-year-old girls. His wife was fed up with asking him to change. To pull his fair share. To be proactive in the family responsibilities. She said she was done. They had talked about divorce in the past, but there was finality this time. He could tell she was serious. And she was. This is when a lot of people would feel helpless and decide they're going to give up and end the marriage since their spouse wants a divorce. Not Hunter. He had done a Clarity Call a year earlier and wasn't ready to take that step then. But knew, at this point, he had to dramatically change to save his marriage. He said, "At the beginning of the program, I had trouble getting just a few sentences out before I would bust out in tears..." Week in and week out Hunter plugged along. But because of the amazing men in our program, he didn't feel he was doing it by himself. They were texting him, praying for him, encouraging him each time it got hard. When he had a bad week and felt absolutely worthless and hopeless, they'd be there to brush him off and remind him WHY he was doing this. They'd help him get encouraged and refocused. Hunter did one scary change after another, one step forward and one step back, one awkward skill practiced after another until it became normal, natural, and just who he is... And his wife started to respond. She started to end the snarky, mean comments. And she started even being receptive to his touch. Ever so slowly, she started to trust that he is indeed a new man. And he was indeed able to heal his marriage even though she didn't do the program. Now he feels closer to God and he can see that she is closer to God, as well. Now they are in love again… like when they were first married. Now their 4-year-old girls are 5, and they are in a family with parents that are unified and loving. This is a big deal and worth a giant celebration! And, a sensational headline (because it's true). Love, Belah PS - If you need a transformation like Hunter, please don't let hopelessness overtake you. Focus on WHY it's so important for you to save your marriage, and get help. We have resources to help you every step of the way (literally, it's step-by-step). You may be so flooded with fear and pain that you can't even think straight. It's okay, we've got a step-by-step process. It's proven, and it works. Wife or husband, we want to help you. Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call. Like Hunter, take the next courageous step. It's worth it. Like Hunter, gain clarity on a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc Like Hunter... it could save and transform your marriage, forever. From a recent lady graduate: "Delight Your Marriage has brought a breath of fresh air to our marriage! It helped me to forgive myself and others for wrong that had been done in my life. DYM [Delight Your Marriage] gave me new tools to use to revive my marriage and a renewed focus on God to guide and direct our marriage through the next phases of life! I enjoyed every aspect of this program! From the first podcast I listened to, to the clarity call, accountability calls, modules, and coaching calls! It all has been a joy, challenge, and work that has helped me and my marriage now thrive!" We invite you to learn more! delightyourmarriage.com/cc (If you know someone who needs this... forward this episode to them! Maybe you'll save a family.)

We're all insecure. I am. You are. We might not be insecure about the same things, but we've all got it. Today, I want to talk about the insecurities that are common for women and the insecurities that are common for men. Spoiler alert: they're different. But the insight most of us miss is that our specific insecurity in marriage actually is harming our spouse. Because of the way our spouse is designed by God, if there are certain things missing in marriage, it pains them. Deeply. This is an episode I hope you'll take to heart. Your insecurities may be harming your spouse. Included in this episode: -What are insecurities? -What are yours as a husband or as a wife? -How are they affecting your spouse? -How to move past them? -How to get free of them? I really hope this helps. Blessings, Belah PS - We'd love to have you on the inside of a program and witness God do something amazing in and through you! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc is the place to sign up for a free Clarity Call. When asked how we can improve the program a recent graduate wrote: The course is absolutely brilliant. The course materials (videos and pdfs) are top notch in terms of content, and Belah is totally invested in her teaching and coaching, the content of which is simply superb. It's been meticulously researched. And the materials are attractive and mostly very user friendly. The accountability groups are a master stroke. Most of all, everything is covered by prayer and led by the Holy Spirit. I can safely say that I have learned more in this course than any course I have done in the past, whether secular or religious. More importantly no course or teaching has effected such a radical change in my character and behaviour as this one. There are very few things that could be improved. Well done Belah and all the team in producing something that is not only very professional, but is an absolute life saver in so many marriages, including mine!

Amber can tell you straight up... God has changed her. For so many reasons, she would have said her behavior was warranted. (I know the feeling and have said the words myself!) And God was kind to open her eyes to her pride. The pride that was ripping her husband apart. And yet, God got her attention. He stretched forth His hand and showed her what she couldn't see on her own. He used her husband's leadership to bring her to a place of recognition of her sin. And then she chose the humble and wise way. I must say I am SO proud of Amber. How she has grown. How she now lives out the joy that God restored to her marriage! It's worth celebrating. I hope you'll listen and be encouraged by what God has done in her heart (first), (then) in her marriage, and in her family. Love and gratefulness for our amazing Father, Belah PS - If you'd like to see how to transform your situation, we'd love to help. The first step is a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc Client testimonial... before the ladies program (the state of their marriage): "Completely overwhelming! It was causing pain and sadness in every area of our lives." After the ladies program: "Our love has grown beyond my imagination. My husband and I are tender and loving and supportive to each other like never before. My husband has truly softened over the last few months through my using the tools in this program. Our fighting has stopped! Arguing is not our way of life anymore. Our children are doing so amazing and I can see them feeling settled and safe. Our intimacy is God honoring and I desire my husband…which was never the case! Our marriage will never be the same! I honestly rejoice every day that Jesus brought this podcast and program in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!"

There can only be 1 answer to this question: Yes, or No. Well, who do you go to to answer questions like this? Do you have a pastor? A friend? A mentor? A favorite author? A researcher? A scientist? A porn counselor? An SA therapist? A previous user? Your own experience? Your own intuition? Who has the authority in your life to answer this question? Ahem... "the great Belah Rose?" Just so we're clear, when I said, "Let there be light"... it stayed dark. When your pastor said it... when your favorite author/researcher/friend/counselor/author/confidante said it... probably the same. Maybe there was a window already open, so God's light actually allowed it to be light... but ultimately, they don't have power or authority anywhere, ANYWHERE close to God. God. But is He the biggest authority to you? Does what He says matter to you the MOST? I invite you to pause. Ponder. Are His words MOST important? To you? Let's say, your answer is yes. But then, how do you know what God says... especially about an exclusively 21st-century issue, i.e. porn? Well, actually it isn't a 21st-century issue. And God speaks about it. Many times. And He clearly answers this question. I don't know if you want to hear it, but He does speak to it. Before we get there. In truth... Apathy is easier. Skepticism is easier. Laziness is easier. But just because you don't care (apathy), or believe (skepticism), or want to (laziness), ...swim away from the impending waterfall, doesn't mean it won't kill you when you inevitably get to it. Do you care what the Bible says? Do you believe what the Bible says? Do you want to discover what the Bible says? I had a conversation via email with a dear friend about a year ago. I would love for you to read it to learn why I think the Bible should be pursued, is trustworthy, and can be utterly wonderful for you: delightyourmarriage.com/bible So, to answer this question... "The great Belah Rose" fears God too much to not tell you: yes, it is a salvation issue. "Anyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart... better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." Jesus says it is. We're talking about hell. We're talking about lust. We're talking about salvation. (In Matthew 5:28) I hope one day this will be true of me... "I never shrank back from telling you what you needed to hear... either publicly, or in your homes [or in your earbuds]. I have had one message... the necessity of repenting from sin and turning to God, and of having faith in our Lord Jesus." Acts 20:20-21 Belah PS - Next steps: Repent from your sin. Turn to God [i.e. read your physical Bible to learn / discover / encounter who He actually is] and have faith in our Lord Jesus. PPS - There IS hope AND help. Maybe we can help. Jesus most definitely can help! If you'd like to investigate whether or not we can help, we invite you to schedule a free, no obligation Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc Quote from a graduate of Masculinity Reclaimed: Before MR: "My sex life was a mess before I found DYM. It's really hard to find anyone that will talk to you about sex in a godly way. The world is full of lies, DYM pulls the truth out of the Bible and gives you exactly what you need to get on a healthy trajectory for your marriage and sex life!" After MR: "I think my biggest celebration is just having the weight of discontentment lifted. It is so frustrating and depressing to be constantly dissatisfied with your sex life. It truly is like carrying around a huge weight. To finally be free of that and realize that I could be satisfied and happy without doing anything but changing my heart posture was amazing. I no longer feel like the victim of a bad marriage, but rather the recipient of a blessed marriage!"

I don't have to tell you that the enemy is out for families. Because the best-case scenario is a mom and dad that love each other raising children that grow up to be the men and women to do God's will in the earth. So, if the enemy can tear at the soul of the marriage. The most sacred part. The intimacy. Then the family crumbles. But God. Wayne is so courageous to share what God has done because he knows it can help someone, maybe like you to know you're not alone. This is a story I've heard many times. Wayne made a big error. One that could have changed his family's future to one completely different with so much pain and heartache. When he was found out, it was the hardest days of their lives. It was devastating. A friend told him about Delight Your Marriage. When he heard Mick's testimonial (Episode 363) he knew he had to do the program and he went ahead. It wasn't easy for him. It took ownership. It took struggle. It took perseverance. It took time. It took patience. It took prayer. It took other men rooting him on. Encouraging him. Praying for him. He didn't give up. And God healed their marriage. God healed their connection. God healed his wife's heart. There is so much good in that home now. Their many kids feel more relaxed and able to be themselves in the home. Their friendship is stronger. He appreciates all the levels of connection he now enjoys with his wife. She said, "if you told me this [is how it would be] a year ago, I wouldn't have believed it." He agrees "That's not who I was" but now it is. God be praised. I hope you are encouraged by another journey that God is healing families. It's not easy but it is SO worth it. If you needed this to own your mess and turn your family's future around. It's time. Don't waste any more precious time and join our men's program to transform it all. Blessings, Belah PS - Have a conversation with Dana at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see how we can help you. PPS - A different husband who graduates next week wrote: "I feel very different. A kinder, more gentle, caring human being has emerged. I feel more confident in myself and in my masculinity. I can safely say that I have learned more in this course than any course I have done in the past, whether secular or religious. More importantly, no course or teaching has effected such a radical change in my character and behavior as this one." Maybe it's your turn: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Driving down the road, crying out to God. And, maybe, the strongest he's ever heard the Lord responded to him. It wasn't rebuke. But an invitation. He saw into the heart of God. Real tears started rolling down his face. --- I invite you to listen to Dan's story. Maybe it's not unlike yours... ...have a marriage, for some decades. ...have gone through struggles and broken dreams. ​ ​...have a couple of children. ​​...desire to be who God called him to be. ​​...desire to have the connection with God he hoped was available. A friend at church shared with him about the podcast. He started listening to dozens of episodes... and eventually felt he needed to do a call. He took the courage to have a Clarity Call with Dana. Then found out his friend did the program and was on the podcast himself testifying of what God had done. I hope you are encouraged that, just as God spoke to Dan, He wants that level of connection and intimacy with YOU. I invite you to shut off distractions and go before Him... ...in joy, silence, praise, worship, prayer, bowed head, bowed knee, bowed heart... before our love, God, King and Savior, Jesus Christ. Love, Belah PS - We'd love to help you draw closer to God, live His way, and witness God transform your relationships: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - Dan references the Pre-Dating workbook. Also, from a different wife who graduated today: "What can a blind man who now sees say, except "Praise God! It's a miracle! My life has been forever changed and I will be eternally grateful!" God did ALL of the work and He gets all of the credit. But He 100% did it through this program." Sign up for a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

I should be clear... I don't struggle with this. The stories I share about my pride in this episode are a complete rarity. Almost never happens. ​I also don't struggle with lying... :D (Just kidding :) I need this learning as much as anyone... which is why I'm excited to share what God is teaching me! ---- "My spouse needs to change..." "[He is / She is] doing so many bad things...so many..." "There's nothing I can do unless [he / she] changes..." I knew this was a disempowering mindset that I saw often. But it wasn't until this week when God confronted me with my pride, that I learned that "self-pity" is the sin of pride. Ouch. But true. (I learned this through the book by R. T. Kendall's The Power of Humility. I highly recommend it.) Wallowing in your pain isn't God's way. "But I don't deserve to be treated like this!" I hear you. Job didn't deserve his suffering either. His suffering was profound. Maybe yours is too. Job started out strong. Even when others encouraged him to deny God's goodness, he stayed faithful to God and honored His faithfulness regardless. But eventually, he succumbed to self-pity, he was severely corrected for his wallowing in self-pity. I hope you and I will heed what God said to Job. And that we would respond the way Job did to His correction. I encourage you to lean into His discipline. He is a good Father who disciplines His children. God is kind to bring us to repentance. And don't worry... I needed this episode too. Let's draw near to God. Lay down our pride and acknowledge and seek Him as Lord and King. Love, Belah PS - We'd love to help you with your marriage, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call. PPS - If you're wondering how healthy your marriage is right now to give you insights on what needs to change and the first steps in how to with free resources... go to delightyourmarriage.com/health to take the Marital Health Assessment. From another recent graduate: Before the men's program: "Struggles - Arguing, lack of trust, loss of peace frequently, little laughter, lack of joy, lack of fun. I was worried that if I didn't change, my wife might leave me after the kids leave for college. After:"Getting compliments and thanks from my wife (I would get them so so rarely). My wife hugging and kissing me and being playful. Holding hands and walking together when outside in public. Peace at home, laughter between us and with kids. We are in love again." Final thoughts: "It's the best life changing thing that happened to me. Its changed my view about my wife, about women, it helped me change to understand my wife and women better, helped with my relationship with my kids, my mother and sister. My relationship with my mom and sis was very bad, it's improving now. Trying to use the CIRQUE, No arguments, gratefulness, compliments at work and other relationships. It's worth a million bucks!!!!" Glory to God! We'd love to help you too! Find out more on a free Clarity Call: http://delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Back 1.5 years ago, Taylor went through the men's program and witnessed God do some important work. Most important: in his heart. But as Jesus says: For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." If the point of Delight Your Marriage is to help men and women get their heart right, then of course the rest would follow. My encouragement to you today, is focus on the heart. Focus on surrendering your heart to the Lord so He can free you of all of that which you hate. He is God and there is freedom with Him. Blessings, Belah PS - If you're looking for changes like this, we would love to help you on a Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc From another recent graduate: MR Grad: "GOD is certainly using DYM [Delight Your Marriage] to impact lives." Before MR: "Some of the biggest struggles I was facing were that marital intimacy was all but nonexistent. That included emotional intimacy- whether I wanted to see that or not. I have long struggled with pornography... My self-worth was in the dumps. I was always looking for affirmation from my wife and she from me. Neither of us delivered - neither could deliver enough. After MR: "I'm taking ownership. This is my home. This is my marriage. She is my wife. Ours is a union blessed by God. In taking my roles as husband, father, help mate more seriously, my whole family has begun to benefit. The man's role is not to simply coexist, but to lead the marriage and family. I can make a difference in the family by leading to and with God."

You may be on a journey to get a better marriage... But do you know where you are right now? The trouble is when people with a 9/10 marriage give advice to someone with a 2/10 marriage... It doesn't make sense. AND a left turn at the WRONG TIME could lead to disaster. That is why we developed the Marital Health Assessment, a tool you can use to determine if you're on track in your marriage. Or if you need a left turn now or to stay straight for another 37 exits :) I invite you to take this free Marital Health Assessment to determine where you are now so you can wisely choose your next steps! Delightyourmarriage.com/health

We are indeed at war. Now is not the time to walk idly by. Now is not the time to pretend it's all just fine. Now is not the time to think only about ourselves. And your marriage matters during the tribulation. Regardless of who endures the end times (our generation... or the next, or next, or next...) what you do or don't do in your marriage matters. Whether or not Christianity is worthwhile to your kids can be significantly impacted by what they see in your marriage. But what does preparing for the end times PRACTICALLY look like? What does marriage have to do with the end times? Actually, a lot. Well, I am hoping today's episode is entertaining and encouraging. Thank you, Belah PS - We'd love to help you delight your marriage. Your first (courageous, yet super easy -- and worth it!!) step is a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc Men's Graduate Quote: "Your program is so holy spirit inspired. I just continue to be amazed at the content in the teaching. I like that it was very practical and easy to understand. I love that the first and main focus was on our relationship with God before it moved into other areas or even included our wives."

As an Amish growing up, Donny has had quite the journey. Just a couple of years ago after God rescued him from a very difficult place, his marriage actually was fairly good. He found and listened to the podcast for quite a while and felt convicted that he needed to do the men's program. He was content in his own marriage, he just wanted to know if he could recommend it to others. But he was surprised to see how helpful it was to him personally, and his marriage grew even more than he thought possible. :) Things got tricky when some people approached him with concern about the fact that I'm a lady in leadership. Wisely so, he and his wife grappled with and prayed about it. He distinctly felt the Lord speak to his heart about it. I would love for you to hear what he felt the Lord say. I hope his story encourages you. Love, Belah PS - If you would like to see how we can help you, take the courageous step and sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc Delighted Wife Grad Quote: Before DW: "We had a home full of animosity. Chaos. Yelling and fighting. We were not intimate." After DW: "This program has truly changed my marriage forever! This has empowered me to forgive, put my trust in Jesus, and to bring my marriage to the place I never thought possible. I started this program broken and in utter despair. The sadness and the defeat was a physical pain. That weight has been lifted off of me. We still have things to work on, but so thankful for the tools and hope to keep on pursuing toward the marriage I dreamt of!"

As empty nesters, you know how they say you'll enjoy growing old together. Well, Kim says, "We were growing older, but not enjoying it." Kim was suffering in her marriage -- crying on her friend's shoulder. As they prayed that God would change it. Then, that friend told her about the podcast, the one you're listening to. That friend also told her husband. After hearing all the testimonials, he joined the men's program. Kim was kind of annoyed that he did this. Because she also listened to a couple of episodes and it pointed to areas of her marriage that she had wounding around. Things turned around... REALLY beautifully. I know Russ, her husband, and Kim pretty well by now (after two years) and it has been remarkable seeing this couple grow. Their first transformation story was episode 293 (be sure to check that out!). That was the first time I met Kim. It's been amazing to have her in the Delighted Wife program and to see what God has done through it. May this story encourage you. There is hope. If you're suffering and crying on a friend's shoulder... you just never know what God might do. We invite you to take the next step and schedule a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc Blessings, Belah PS - Kim's entire marriage turned around because a friend had the courage to point her to a podcast. What if YOU are meant to be that friend to someone else? I invite you to forward this to someone who may need hope... hope that God still transforms marriages and families. Recent wife grad quote: "Belah has done the most important thing for me which is change the negative beliefs that I have had concerning my marriage and helped me to see from a renewed perspective which has forever impacted my marriage! Both my husband and I am grateful for what this program has done for us. I have attended many marriage seminars and trainings throughout my marriage and this is by far the best investment I have ever made."

My heart goes out to any wife who has experienced sexual abuse. There are so many layers of pain... it's truly horrible. As a husband, the evil that was done to your wife harmed her immeasurably. The person you love the most. And it impacted your marriage, your intimacy, and your life forever. Is healing possible? What if she doesn't "DEAL WITH" her abuse? (Sometimes I hear men say that their hands are tied if she doesn't deal with her trauma.) Can a husband do anything? I believe Bill's story can give you hope. He would say, "Yes." From many years of a full life but an empty marriage, he is thrilled to tell you, there is hope even for your marriage. He has 43 years under his belt. He was a self-diagnosed "podcast addict." :) Always looking to FIX his wife. He knew there had to be a solution. But nothing moved the needle ...until Delight Your Marriage. He said after 3 months of the Masculinity Reclaimed program (MR)... from decades of passionless marriage, they feel "like 60-something teenagers ...we're so in love!" His wife sent me an email after she heard his interview and she confirmed what he said and shared her sentiments as well. I read that on the podcast as well. May you be encouraged for yourself or others! (I encourage you to share this with someone who may need exactly this hope and encouragement!) Love, Belah PS - You're ready to witness God's transformation like Bill? It's as easy as a phone call to a friend, her name is Dana, and she's our Clarity Advisor. :) delightyourmarriage.com/cc Sign up for a free Clarity Call to help you sort through the hard and gain insight on next steps... possibly with us to have a transformation like Bill's! PPS - This episode made my husband cry... that doesn't happen often. I hope it is healing to your heart like it was to his. Quote from a program grad: "I would recommend this program to any husband who feels trapped like I did when I first reached out to Belah. I came into this program looking for someone to 'straighten out my wife.' Truth be told, I needed more help then she did. Belah challenged the narrative in my head. She pushed me to be vulnerable and soft and patient - all things that run counter to our culture. It was not always easy. In fact, it was often very uncomfortable and felt silly. But once I realized it wasn't about me and I committed wholeheartedly, I saw my wife begin to change before my eyes. The changes I made in MYSELF changed my wife. It wasn't always easy and it required more patience than I sometimes had, but in the end it was worth it. Every aspect of my relationship with my wife has improved and that was more than I bargained for. I have a greater understanding of who my wife is and why she is so special to both God and myself. Belah didn't fix my marriage - she did something better. She gave me the tools and the guidance to fix it myself, with God's help. This allows me to continually work on it, improve it, and cherish it after my time [in Delight Your Marriage] is over and for that I will always be thankful."

Clarity is crucial in a marriage because it allows individuals to gain self-awareness, understand their own emotions and behaviors, and without even realizing it, it can help you take responsibility for your part in the relationship dynamics. Maybe you didn't "cause it" but you haven't worked to solve it. When couples face challenges or conflicts, it's easy to blame each other or external factors without examining what is really going on under the surface of the behaviors. A Clarity Call encourages an individual to look carefully at themselves, their patterns, history, and reflect on their thoughts, feelings, actions, and current situation. Sign up for a free Clarity Call today! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc By engaging in a Clarity Call, individuals can identify their own patterns and unresolved issues that may be impacting the relationship. It helps them recognize their own biases, insecurities, woundedness, and areas for personal growth. Through a Clarity Call, individuals can better understand how their own behaviors and reactions may influence the dynamics within the marriage. Believe it or not, a Clarity Call can also foster empathy and compassion. When Dana speaks with an individual -- they take the time to understand their own experiences, process them, and become more attuned to their partner's emotions and perspectives. This increased awareness enables them to approach conflicts with empathy, communicate more effectively, and find solutions that meet both partners' needs. This is why the individuals on today's call said this: "After that call, everything that I went through, it was just like, all the pieces of a major puzzle being put together." "You make it very easy. You make it our lives are in chaos and you guys just speak peace right into that situation and calm it down to where we can unload what we need to unload." "It was a great experience something I'll never forget because it was a great moment that I'll hold dear to my heart for the rest of my life." Sign up for a free Clarity Call today! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc

I'd like to share Kevin's story, mostly in his own words. As always, there is a huge message of hope and transformation available in this story, so I hope you'll listen in! After 28 years of marriage, feeling like roommates, Kevin said "I felt helpless" and "very isolated, very alone" in the struggles he experienced. As a very successful (and busy!) IT exec overseeing teams in India, UK, France, and elsewhere, and really being able to figure out most things on his own... It was confusing to not be able to figure out marriage in the same way. And it was painful to hear his wife caring more about something like Diet Coke than him. Logically, he knew it wasn't true but it sure felt like it at times. He listened to the DYM transformation stories (like this one!). And they sounded too good to be true. But he kept hearing parts of his story over and over again through other people's DYM interviews. He thoroughly checked into the DYM work and dived into the podcasts. Of the work, he said, "the more and more I listened, the more I found and heard the biblical basis of everything and heard the logic." Then, he took courage and had the Clarity Call which he said "the Clarity Call was exactly what it says: it was very clarifying." Once in, of the program: "It was very incremental, very linear, and based in a way where it clicks, where it makes sense." "The feedback loop, the accountability, the camaraderie of all the other gentlemen going through the program, that environment is an extra dimension of learning that I think is important, if not key to success." "It pours all the ingredients together to make things work." "I talked about things I have never talked about with anybody in my whole life during that part of the program." Through the Delight Your Marriage program, Kevin experienced an improvement in his marriage and a greater sense of fulfillment and walk with God. We would love to take the next step with you too. Sign up for a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and we can witness your transformation as well! (And who knows, maybe just like Kevin, you'll be our next transformation story who initially thought it was "too good to be true"!) Love & Blessings, Belah PS -- If you're wondering how healthy your marriage is right now so you can get clear on the aspects to improve, fill out the Marital Health Assessment for a free evaluation of your marriage health so you can take steps to make it even better! delightyourmarriage.com/health PPS -- Take action now and sign up for the Clarity Call. Sign up for a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and we can witness your transformation as well!

I am grateful so many men share their unfiltered hearts with me. It is an honor and a privilege. I find that many men feel extremely misunderstood. And they have numbed their pain just to "get through". The problem with numbing is we don't see the people right in front of us and the pain they are experiencing. What I see so frequently is men who are desperately trying to be the men God designed them to be, but are frustrated with the lack of respect in their marriages. I want to help you understand... 1 - that your feelings here are valid and even God-designed 2 - there is a productive way to handle this gap (Spoiler alert: it starts on the inside of you.) Love & Blessings, Belah PS -- Are you curious about the overall health of your marriage? Respect is a big piece and when it's missing, it impacts the emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy of a marriage. Discover the strengths and weaknesses of your marriage with our free online Marital Health Assessment delightyourmarriage.com/health When you do, we'll send you some free resources and recommendations based on your specific situation and needs. Fill out the free Marital Health Assessment now. delightyourmarriage.com/health Graduate Quote: "It's changed it completely, our home environment is filled with tenderness, compassion, love and respect."

Oh, the pain of frustration, being consistently misunderstood, and having your needs (legitimate needs) consistently trampled upon. Both Jerry and Joyce felt it. And Jerry desperately looked for answers. Delight Your Marriage wasn't his first program -- but unfortunately, the other one gave advice that almost drove his wife to a nervous breakdown. Jerry didn't get out of his marriage, though his frustration level (due to his hurt) was through the roof. The pain was so deep for her, she couldn't even attend the church he pastored. Joyce was considering separation and even talking with lawyers. But then Jerry decided to give Delight Your Marriage a try. Now... a year later, Joyce not only loves her husband again, but "likes him," too. ("Liking" your spouse can be way harder than "loving" them.) She's actually looking forward to raising their small children together and is happy even being a pastor's wife now. The healing that has taken place in just over a year, is now impacting every single person in their ministry and family life. God is amazing and we give Him all the credit for this transformation! We are honored He has used the programs of Delight Your Marriage to help bring about these changes for them. If you're at a similar place (or not quite as extreme), then know there is hope for you, too. There is a price for change like this -- effort, time, financial investment, energy, courage, humility and even getting uncomfortable -- But take it from Joyce... It is worth it. Your next step is to get on a Clarity Call ( delightyourmarriage.com/cc ) to discover how to change you that will impact all those around you (and specifically your marriage). Love, Belah PS - Seriously... It's time to discover how you can be the change agent God wants to use to turn your marriage around, so you love AND like your spouse. delightyourmarriage.com/cc Have a free Clarity Call to gain insight and discern your next steps: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - If you know a marriage that needs hope like this, will you take the courage and care to forward this episode on? You may be saving a family and faith community in the process. Quote from a course graduate: "The things that I've learned are really priceless when it comes to my marriage… When I first started this program it seemed like my wife didn't even want to talk to me, much less make love to me. Man how things have changed...The changes that I see in my wife are nothing short of a miracle, she has went from being cold and callous, To warm and loving!"

Join us for an inspiring conversation with Jenny, a loving housewife and mother of four from Finland. In this episode, Jenny shares her remarkable transformation journey and the positive impact it had on her marriage. Previously working as a nurse before having kids, Jenny and her husband made a conscious decision to prioritize their family and serve the Lord in a unique way. Through their involvement in a discipleship-making movement, they found Delight Your Marriage, a program that brought significant changes to their lives. Jenny's husband initially joined the men's program and experienced a profound transformation (from her perspective as the wife). Encouraged by his progress, Jenny recognized her own need for growth and decided to embark on her own journey. She realized that she had lost touch with her own needs while prioritizing the needs of her family, often neglecting her spiritual well-being. But she realized she was busy and God spoke to her heart that she was being a "Martha" far more than a "Mary." Through the Delighted Wife program, Jenny discovered the importance of immersing herself in the Word of God, prayer, and worship. These foundational habits reignited her passion for the Lord, restoring her joy for her children, and enabling her to share the Gospel with others. One significant change in Jenny's transformation was her renewed desire for intimacy in her marriage. As she developed a deeper understanding of how women and men were designed, thanks to participation in the program, Jenny felt more comfortable expressing her needs to him. By cultivating new habits and taking small steps, Jenny found her way back to a more fulfilling and vibrant spiritual life. She shares her story as an example of how investing in one's marriage, time with God, and meditating on the Word of God can lead to profound transformation. If you're longing for a more joyful, intimate, and fulfilling marriage, Jenny's story is sure to inspire you. To hear Jenny's full story and learn more about her transformation journey, listen to the complete interview on this episode. If you're ready to take the next step in your own marriage, sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and discover how Delight Your Marriage can help you experience a delightful and intimate marriage like never before. Remember, your marriage is a precious gift that deserves your investment and attention. Don't miss out on the incredible transformation possible when you prioritize your relationship and embrace personal growth. Love, Delight Your Marriage team PS - Ready to experience a delightful and intimate marriage? Take the next step towards transforming your relationship by signing up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc today. Discover how Delight Your Marriage can empower you to cultivate a deep and fulfilling connection with your spouse. Quote from a program grad: "If you're committed to the program and make it a priority, you can be truly successful! Bella has changed our marriage in a really special way."

Mother's Day is almost here! (This Sunday!) Make sure the mom in your life is getting treated really nicely! She is WONDERFUL and deserves to be celebrated! I have a wonderful mom. She sacrificed so much for me. I am forever in her debt. As a mom myself... I believe sacrificing to be a good mom brings her greater joy than if she had never sacrificed at all. Sacrifice. Duty. Responsibility. Sounds antiquated, old-fashioned, and maybe even oppressive...? Am I morally obligated to take care of my kids? Did I assume the responsibility for their well-being when my husband and I enjoyed... ...ehemm... "actions with procreative potential"... which (happily) resulted in a child? I would submit the answer is "yes." I now lay down Feelings and pick up a life built upon proper values. Hopefully, your mom did the same... otherwise, it would have been a very difficult existence for you. The nature of a mother: assuming a role and duty to care for those souls entrusted to her. What does this have to do with wives? In today's society, we often hear that women should only make love if they Feel like it. And they might say it's bad to make love when you don't naturally desire it. When you don't Feel like it. If I used that logic in caring for my children... only when I Feel like it, they'd justly arrest me for child neglect. I am a self-centered, selfish, self-focused, narcissist if I am led by Feelings. Feelings are not my guide. Jesus is. How do I know who Jesus is, so I know what He is like, and what He wants of me? The Bible. Is there any other source that clarifies who and what Jesus asks of me better than the Bible? No. If all that is true... why is it we (ok... maybe it's just me :) struggle like this... Feel down, follow by: laying on the couch...with a bag of Cheetos Feel anxious, follow by: distracting my worries by scrolling through interesting video clips Feel tired / annoyed / down / uncomfortable / frumpy / fat / unattractive / undesireable / lazy / anxious / stressed / cramped / worried / distracted / entertained / even happy..., follow by: heading straight to bed avoiding all manner of intimacy... at all costs. At times, my mouth says: "Jesus is my King," but in real life: "my Feelings rule". (These all certainly have been true, but when I repent sincerely and come back to Jesus' way, He has helped me to stop following the tempting Feelings less and less.) We all need to live by our values from the Bible. The Bible becomes the standard for life and there are a lot of important things about marriage, marital sacrifice, and the purpose of marital intimacy. It would be worthwhile to look these up: Matt 19:4-6, Mark 10:6-9, Ephesians 5:21-33, 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Timothy 5:14, Romans 13:13-14, Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:7, Hebrews 13:4.... and that's just the New Testament! I assume the responsibility of taking care of my children, to fulfill the role of Mom. I assume the responsibility of taking care of my husband, to fulfill the role of Wife. This is not following the world's definition of happiness. It is true happiness. This is in God's will. This is following Jesus. Happy Mother's Day! I bet you wouldn't wish you followed Feelings more and sacrificed less to follow Jesus... in your role as a Mom. I invite us both to hold that same standard for your role as a Wife. You have sacrificed well, happily, and joyfully...and it is worth it! :) Bravo & thank you! The precious souls in your care, thank you! Love, Belah PS If applying this thought process toward your spouse feels convicting, we understand and have been there, too. We're here to help...if you want help, schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc Do Delight Your Marriage programs help? That's a fair question...here's another graduate quote to give you hope: Before the program challenges were: "low sex drive, no physical pleasure from sex, pressure to have sex often, resentful of having to have sex often, insecure body image" After the program: "I now look forward to sex, enjoy it physically, am able to seduce my husband, and we both feeling amazingly satisfied all the time!!" Join us: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

This title was hard to come up with. Essentially, I want you to have the tools and mindset to figure out how to set boundaries with yourself and with others when needed. Jesus was the servant of all. He came to serve not to be served. He was the most humble and meek. And yet, Jesus set boundaries. A lot. Here are a couple, but once you read this, you'll probably not be able to read a parable or look at the life of Jesus without noticing His leaning into boundaries over and over again. Jesus disappointed people because his priority was God over people In Mark 1:35-39, Jesus wakes up early to pray, but his disciples come looking for him, saying that "everyone is looking for you." In Matthew 16:21-23, Jesus tells his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer at the hands of the elders, chief priests, and scribes. Peter rebukes him, saying that this should never happen to him. Jesus responds by telling Peter that he is setting his mind on human things rather than God's things and calls him a hindrance. In Luke 14:25-33, Jesus sets the boundary of the cost of discipleship. He says anyone who wants to follow him, essentially compared to their love for Jesus, must hate their family and even their own life. They must carry their own cross, and give up all their possessions. If they're not willing to pay this price, they can't follow him. In John 2:13-17, Jesus clears the temple of the money changers and merchants, telling them to stop making his Father's house a marketplace. He shows anger and uses physical force to set this boundary. Jesus was the servant of all but did not allow anyone to trod on boundaries. So, what if you are trodding on God's boundaries? What if your spouse wants to trod on the boundaries set by God? Sexual boundaries? Disrespect boundaries? Other boundaries? Should you set boundaries with yourself? Should you set boundareis with your spouse? If so, how? Is there a way to have a generous heart and a kind spirit and yet set a firm boundary? This conversation goes into these things that are HARD to tease through. I don't think I have it all right. This is a topic that I feel a bit reticent to release. And I think it will require prayer as you discern how it applies to you. And what your next steps are. Love & Blessings, Belah PS - Let us know if this topic spoke to you and if we can help, email us at belah at delightyourmarriage.com PPS - Quote from a program graduate: "I have become a delighted, playful wife that enjoys and desires sex. My relationship to the Lord, my husband and our daughter has become more intimate."

Pastor David had a rocky start with his marriage. Facing his hurts wasn't what he actually wanted to do. He was nervous to bring it up to his wife -- they share all their finances. So he brought it up to her and said he wants to transform into the man, husband and father he wants to become. Even only 4 weeks into the program, Pastor David's wife commented, "I have noticed a change. Keep it up. It was worth the money." And she is not a physical touch kind of person, which was his highest love language. Yet, even in just those 4 weeks of implementing what was taught in the course, this has increased. It's hard to face our pain, isn't it! It's tough to be vulnerable about the things we struggle with that are closest to our hearts...yes, it takes courage to open those wounds up so that we can get them healed. Husband... wife... you don't have to struggle alone. Do you desire to grow but don't have a safe space to be open and real with what is going on in your heart and marriage? We're here for that...we're a safe place to gently open up that really private, hurting space...or that struggle that you don't dare to share with anyone in your life. We want your heart to be healed. We want to help you break free from the chains that hold you back. We want to breathe life into your weariness, hope into your despair, and help you be the man or woman of God that you long to be in your marriage and family...and ministry. There is hope! We invite you to fresh faith and to follow even closer to the One who is THE way, THE truth, and THE life. We'd love to help. Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see if our program would be a good fit for you. Blessings, Darcy (on Belah's behalf) PS - The Pre-Dating workbook is finally here! If you've been blessed (like David -- who said he already bought 6! and plans to buy more!) by the content from Delight Your Marriage over the years and want to see young people get these tools before they ever get married, get your copy now! https://amzn.to/3NhF8DL

Our interview is about how to get a young person to read/do this workbook that could set them up for a successful dating and married life! --- WOW! I am honored and grateful! My goodness. So, the story goes... yesterday morning Amazon told me that it might be 3 days before the workbook could be live... Pre-Dating Workbook: What you need to know and do before you start dating (and definitely during) Biblical guidance from a marriage trainer and coach https://amzn.to/40Hr21D Eeek! Of course, we've all been counting down the days and the launch day was Friday. So yesterday (Thursday) I sent an ask to my list that they would pray that it would in fact be live on Friday. And guess what posted late on Thursday. By the time I saw it, somehow some clients had picked it up and already had purchased AND already had REVIEWED!!! So, today BEFORE we even told our email list that it was live, it has been named #1 New Release for Christian Youth Ministry!!!! WOW! THANK YOU if you have already purchased! If not, here's the link! https://amzn.to/40Hr21D

Brett is fantastic! Firstly, many men have a similar past that we work with but don't share it openly. I really appreciate Brett's boldness to share and it encourages so many others! That yes, even for your history, there IS HOPE! My favorite quotes: "Now, I can't wait to go home at night." "[I have] closer friendships in MR than what I have in everyday life...It's unexplainable how you feel when you've got guys or brothers reaching out to you." "The biggest thing is my relationship with Lord has grown." His marriage is transforming, healing, and trusting again -- his friendships are deep and encouraging, and as a father, he's influencing his kids for the Lord. (His wife is really liking the changes -- but he hasn't yet shared that he did the program.) His relationship with the Lord is thriving like never before! It's amazing to see what God has done! I hope you will feel encouraged too! Blessings, Belah PS - If you'd like help like Brett, sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - We're very soon to launch our Pre-Dating Video Course & Workbook - What you need to know & do before you start dating (but definitely during). Keep an eye on your inbox!

You are teaching them. Whether consciously or unconsciously, they're observing you and figuring out whether you have something they want. Do they want the marriage you have? Is marriage worth it? Do you have guidance that would actually give them the result they want? If you've been around Delight Your Marriage a while, you know we are passionate about helping marriages get better, SO THAT they can do God's will better in the world. But what if your marriage was set up with the right framework, role modeling, and good habits BEFORE you even started your dating relationship? Since we started teaching marriage, we have always been told that they WISHED they knew this before ever getting married. And it's so true. So many people didn't start out with the tools. They've never even seen a good marriage! But your son or daughter could get a leg up. They could get started on the spouse pursuit journey by having not only a great example (you!) but also the tools clearly articulated for them. What if your son or daughter knew how to find and attract the right partner to help you fulfill your God-given purposes? In our climate that may seem like a tall order! You are teaching your kids whether you like it or not. They learn that you have nothing helpful for them, or they learn that you can give them the tools and insights they need to thrive in their most important human relationship! With all of our work with men and women, we have seen it done well and done very poorly many times. And it is the right time for us to help this next generation START their marriage pursuit well. Ultimately we want them to find, marry, and sustain a wonderful marriage built upon biblical wisdom SO THAT they can do God's will in the earth. Today's podcast is about how you can help the next generation. We'd like your help as we're finalizing a pre-dating resource! If you'd like to offer your wisdom and experience and suggestions, we'd really appreciate your input! Partner with us by filling out this survey How to help the next generation get and stay married? delightyourmarriage.com/dating Blessings, Belah PS - Seriously, I want to know what you think! We're finalizing pre-dating resources now – get in on this! Survey: How to help the next generation get and stay married? delightyourmarriage.com/dating PPS - If you need help on your own marriage for the sake of your kids, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc A recent grad: BEFORE: "Prior to doing MR I often felt alone and that my sexual desire was a problem. I felt my wife often intentionally withheld intimacy from me. It was difficult to discuss because my wife felt I was blaming her and she wasn't enough." AFTER: "Understanding my wife better. Learning Health ways of responding. More and deeper sexual intimacy. More freedom and playfulness The learning and growth has meant I can focus on God better which enables me to be a better version of myself. This has enabled me to focus more on others." If you need help on your own marriage for the sake of your kids, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc

When the crisis occurs outside of your home, if it's not peaceful and healed in your marriage, it becomes an additional stress instead of support in a horrible time. I am not sure if you've lived through war – literally – but if so, you'll relate to Alex. I'll share more about him in a second. Every member of our DYM team witnessed life transformation in their own marriages (first) and then God seemed to give us a need for a position right as He gave us the person who fits that need. But with our need for a tech and automations specialist, the expertise was so specific that it was important we go for someone who is foremost extremely good in their specialized field, as we can't risk the infrastructure of the organization to not work correctly. That's when, last April we hired Alex as our tech and automations consultant. He has amazing experience in the field, with our specific systems, and has worked with hundreds of clients, some businesses making millions per year and one even $50M per year. It was such a relief to hire him. Purely on a professional level, he has been amazing to work with – hardworking, proactive, humble, responsible, and (shockingly) positive. But he was living through war. Literally. His home is the capital city of Kyiv, Ukraine, which was attacked last February. Since, he has endured this horror at his doorstep. Eventually, he and his wife were able to escape to Spain but after a couple of months, they returned to Ukraine to help with generators and getting food and clothing to orphans suffering the bitter winter. As a member of the team – he was the only one who hadn't gone through the program. But unlike anyone who has ever been a candidate for the program, he had seen the full backend. How we handle data, how we set up the program, the many transformation stories and really getting to know our team personally. He also had an opportunity to decide is now a good time to focus on his marriage and take the Masculinity Reclaimed program. During war. He decided... Yes, it was. And his encouragement to you is "don't postpone it... as it won't only affect your marriage but it will have a positive effect on your entire life." All in all, there is hope. Even if you're struggling and the battle rages not only outside your home but inside. It is worth it to get your marriage better so you can withstand the difficulties and even literal wars in this life. We would love to help you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc Blessings, Belah PS - Sign up for a free clarity Call to find out if you're the right candidate to witness the transformation as well: delightyourmarriage.com/cc Another recent grad wrote: "I want to reiterate my appreciation of the whole DYM process: from Dana's Clarity Call, Darcy's logistic support, Bob and Russ's guidance, the shared vulnerability and support of the other men, and Belah's profound wisdom through divine inspiration. I would really recommend this program to all married men. There is so much wisdom and depth to this program that can be applied to intermarital problems that seem almost universal. I wish I had this coaching and information 30 years ago."

Are you exhausted from the fight? The struggle? The resist and then fail? Then try, then fail, then good, then fail, then try again, then fail... Maybe you have a few good days, weeks even months... But it's lurking in the background. Waiting to take you down again. And who knows how long you'll be down this time. Maybe it'll be just this once... maybe you'll be down forever. Maybe you'll never get back out. Maybe you'll never be the man God has called you to be. Truly. Maybe you'll squander the life He gave you... And no one knows. And the ones that do, don't understand. Men. I honor you. In your suffering. I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. You are not alone. And there is hope. And there is a way out. It's Good Friday tomorrow. And you know the story. And you know the ending. And you know what happens. And you sing the songs. And you attend the service. And you have heard it all -- maybe you even conduct the service. And you know the stuff -- maybe you've memorized it. You teach it to others. And you believe it. And you're even grateful. Good. That's really good. Really good. And I want to invite you... There is a way out of your prison of shame. Blessings, Belah PS - Seriously. There is a way out.

So... a serious ex-military gent (on his way to becoming a drill sergeant) decided it was time to fix his marriage. Then as a business leader and a leader in the church, people would come to him for marriage advice. Their connection looked good on the outside, but sadly it was lonely. When he started the program, he began to realize maybe he should stop giving marriage advice. He shares in his story how hard, but necessary it was to become humble. Which as, Andrew Murray says, is the chief sin -- all others flow from it. Murray goes on to say, if you think you don't struggle with pride, sadly, you do more than those who are at least aware of it. We all have to fight against pride. Steve decided to take on that challenge. (Maybe his military background helped?) And he decided to listen and deeply consider if his heart, perceptions, and approach have been wrong in his marriage. He not only became humble, but he also became teachable and asked the Lord to change him from the inside. And that caused him to lead as God designed. Well, God is faithful... and did that. And when we seek first His Kingdom -- it's possible He changes things in our world as well (not guaranteed... but what IS guaranteed is we will see eternal riches though!) Steve ended up being so grateful for what God did through the Masculinity Reclaimed program. Before, he admitted that he would feel jealous of his own children because his wife gave them so much attention, affection, and pursuit and he was left with less than crumbs. Now, things have shifted SO much that she pursues him! And he LOVES being around his kids now. He said he feels he is the father they need. He said this program has ultimately changed the trajectory of all 5 of their lives because it has changed their father and the home they grow up in. It's a story in which you'll be inspired and challenged and encouraged. If God can do it for Steve, He really can do it for you. (And Steve's wife didn't do the work... in fact, she didn't even know he took the program! Seriously, it can happen for you too. Have hope. God does miracles still!) Blessings, Belah PS - The only way to get into this program is through a selection process called a Clarity Call. It is free, however, it takes a lot from our team and is a true gift to the one who signs up. If you are ready like Steve was, make the call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc We work with wives in a separate program and God does amazing things there too! delightyourmarriage.com/cc --- A different, recent graduate wrote: BEFORE the DYM program: I didn't enjoy time with her, intimacy was not passionate, physical touch was lacking, we didn't have a connection anymore besides being parents to the same kids. Every day was a struggle, and I often avoided my wife because I wanted to protect myself from attacks AFTER the DYM program: I have rediscovered joy! I am the leader of the home, in terms of mood, spiritual life, finances, relationships, everything. And by leading my house, my wife will become the partner I need and the woman she was created to be. I've become the man my wife trusts, someone she can talk to openly and at length. We enjoy each other's company again & look forward to spending time together. Physical intimacy is no longer a chore, but a way to connect in addition to frequent non-sexual touch. This program is so incredible, it has changed the trajectory of my household forever. " (Wife didn't know he did the program). Let's see if we can help YOU just like this! Sign up now, it's worth it: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

"Unbelievable." (ie: There's no way that's true.) That's how he felt when he heard the transformation stories. He was in a place of desperation. Being in the marriage felt like a chore. But that glimmer of hope that kept him listening to the transformation stories made him wonder if he should take the leap of faith and schedule the free Clarity Call ( delightyourmarriage.com/cc ) Well, he did. His wife didn't know. We don't make these stories up. Maybe your marriage could be next. We invite you to schedule a free, no obligation call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. What do you have to lose? This could permanently change your life. From a graduate: "After 36 years of marriage and being 'settled' (or maybe complacent?) in the rhythm of our relationship, I figured something along the lines of, 'Well, for us this must be as good as it's going to get!' Now, two months and eight modules later, my feeling is, 'If it can be this good already, and I still have four modules to go, where are we going from here?'"

There are so many people I wish I could help when I meet them at the playground, park, at a party... so here it is. Marriage can be tough. VERY tough. And there is a dearth of helpful insight nowadays. My content is focused towards people who follow the teachings of Jesus. But I really want to give you help because, from one perspective, we may not even be able to ask the hard philosophical questions about "is there a God?" or "what is Truth?" if we're bogged down with so much emotional pain in our marriage. So, I tried my best in this episode to give you a roadmap at a very high level of how to rescue your relationship. Whether you follow the teachings of Jesus or not. (Yes, all my training is based on that, but I want to HELP you... so I invite you to listen in because I am very practical.) Maybe you want to stay married because of the kids (good for you!) or you really can't afford a divorce, or you want to keep the commitment you made however many years ago, or you have the slightest bit of hope that you could get back to what you had at first or... fill in the blank. So, how do you do that when your partner has hurt you in so many ways? Well, in this episode, I talk about what husbands need to feel filled up in marriage, and what wives need to feel filled up in marriage. And when you or your spouse is missing this, it is painful and "hurt people, hurt people". So your spouse reacts by hurting you too. I also talk about the very first step you must take, otherwise, your marriage won't be able to grow. I also uproot a cliche and very harmful marital habit. EXTREMELY harmful, if you want to stay married. And most of all I want you to have hope that it can change and that it's worth you putting in the work (yet again) to see to it that your kids have a solid and safe family to grow up in. Love & Blessings, Belah PS - To help you determine the current health of your marriage, take this free assessment at delightyourmarriage.com/health PPS - If you want help in your marriage, click here to schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc A recent graduate of a Delight Your Marriage program said: BEFORE: "No hope of anything beyond glorified roommates. We were lacking in communication, vulnerability, trust, emotional connectedness and of course physical intimacy." [We had a sexless marriage]. AFTER: That she has initiated love-making multiple occasions. We made love 3 days in a row on our anniversary trip and twice in a row on a recent work trip. I feel like I have a system or structure—a way forward—to a better marriage. Whereas before I felt lost, hopeless and stuck. I have loved the program! ... I cannot believe its been 13 weeks!!! WHAT?!" Sign up for a Clarity Call to see if this is right for you! delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Their marital intimacy never seemed to be right. Early on, they struggled with infertility and then a heartbreaking miscarriage. God did give them a baby (praise God!), and then that was another layer of challenge. But she couldn't seem to get intimacy "right." And she knew he wasn't satisfied. And that was a big dig to her confidence. Consistently. Which impacted their relationship. She decided to take the brave step and schedule the Clarity Call (with wonderful Dana). But even just on that call, she felt so heard and cared for. And had a twinkle of hope. Now... She sees sex as pure and good. She already knew that. But somehow, through this work, it went from head to heart. She felt so encouraged by the community. And finally had a judgment-free zone to deeply share. Now she has gotten a great sense of freedom that she didn't have previously, and even encourages adventure in intimacy -- why not!? May Rose's story encourage you. There is hope for you, too. Our team is praying for you and we hope this episode leaves you with encouragement and hope that it can happen for you, too. Love, Belah Here's where you can sign up for a free, non-scary Clarity Call with super kind and friendly Dana at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. From another program graduate: BEFORE the program: "I wanted to leave the marriage or die." AFTER the program: "We are making each other the happiest we have ever been."

If you're a wife...this podcast is dynamite! Wow, I just gotta say...thank You, Lord, for giving our dear Belah such wise insight and for her willingness, humility, and surrender to keep sharing the powerful things that You give her to share with all of us! After listening to this podcast, I feel like I just got a feast at a banquet table! This is a message that empowers our God-given role as wives, breaks it down in simple, yet incredibly insightful and inspiring ways, AND enlarges the vision for the Kingdom of God and how our role as wives plays such a vital role in it all. I truly hope and pray that this podcast speaks to and encourages your heart as it did mine. This will be one of my favorites that gets repeated many times over! Thank you, Belah! Thank You, Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit for Your work in Your people and the incredible love You have for all of us that You show us the way to abundant life...and it is all though an intimate walk with you...a TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP with The King of Kings and Lord of Lords! What an amazing gift! Gratefully, Darcy PS The resource Belah mentioned is available at https://delightmarriage.lpages.co/boundaries-in-sex/ PPS If you'd like to schedule a free Clarity Call, we invite you to do so at delightyourmarriage.com/cc A Delighted Wife client quote: "I'm so happy that I fought for this marriage. We are much better together than apart. We are an amazing team!" When asked if she would recommend the program: "Yes! It works! It has transformed my crummy life to an amazing happy fulfilled life."

My goal today is to inspire a curious heart. Could God have really designed men and women differently? Could your differences truly be HIS design? Could it be that "in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female he created them." Gen 1:27 Could your husband's member be God-designed? Could it be that sex is God-designed? Could there be a reason God's boundaries around this gift are all over the Bible? Could loving your husband well (loving your husband the way he receives love) bring God glory? Love & Blessings, Belah PS -- This is a free Marital Health Assessment to find out how healthy your marriage is in emotional, physical and spiritual intimacy: delightyourmarriage.com/health PPS -- A recent grad wrote: BEFORE: "Not feeling loved by each other. Disconnected hearts (emotionally, spiritually, and physically). Going to bed feeling hurt almost every night. Fighting a lot, even in front of the kids." AFTER: "Forgiven her. Relearned to appreciate all that she is (and make sure she knows). Learned how to protect her heart (make her feel safe). Re-committed to getting to know and cherishing her. In general, feeling close with her on all levels again, which is the outcome I seeking and expected. Though the changes in the bedroom, which were not really my purpose in this, have been beyond my imagination." If you'd like to work in a program (for husbands or wives), your next step is a free Clarity Call.

God gives us opportunities to change all the time. Change the way we think, the way we are, the way we understand the world. And it saddens me when so many of us choose to assume this is as good as it gets and that we're not going to be able to do anything to make it better. Nothing in the world has ever improved with that kind of thinking. Ever. To me, that's a very negative mindset called "wallowing." I think it's childish, in fact. (I say that with conviction because I've been there far too often myself!) I think God wants us to take our power back, stand on our own feet, and decide to improve what we are discontent about. Yes, there are sad and bad things going on in the world. But as followers of Jesus, we DO something about it. We link arms with a mission or organization doing the work that needs to be done, like the Good Samaritan picking up the beaten man and paying for him to get better at the inn. He didn't start his own inn, he paid someone else to do the work that needed to be done. He partnered with someone to help this man get better. We have the opportunity to change things for the better, all the time. So, in your marriage, you need to do one or the other: 1 - Use discontentment to motivate you to change your marriage Delight Your Marriage can help with this! Look at us like the "inn". You don't have to create something from scratch; we know how to fix it, by God's grace. Join a program and use your discontentment to change the whole thing! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc) OR 2 - Choose to no longer be discontent, and instead, be grateful for what you have and live in God's purposes in other areas of your life. You may be quite surprised that things get better as you choose a life of contentment and purpose in God's will. Ultimately, take responsibility for your heart and what you choose to meditate on. Don't be a "Discontent Debbie" or a "Wallowing Walter!" It's not what God has for you. And I think it has eternal consequences... Be a wise gardener of your mind and heart, so that you can have a life and joy that brings honor to Jesus. Blessings, Belah PS - Would you like to improve your marriage? Are you willing to let the Lord grow in you more of His love, grace, and power in your most important human relationship? Would you like our help? If so, schedule a free Clarity call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc To fan the flame of hope, a quote from one of our program graduates: "DYM [Delight Your Marriage] has been a great blessing to our marriage! After several years of feeling "stuck" in patterns in our marriage that left both of us feeling alone, hurt, unheard, and without much hope of any real and lasting change, I have found the material, ministry culture, and most importantly, the faith at work through the team of DYM to be exactly what I needed to take real steps of faith in practical ways that mattered to my wife and our marriage."

Hi, dear sisters. My husband felt inspired to share some thoughts with you. Actually, I was trying to communicate something to wives that I just kept re-recording and re-recording and I just couldn't get it right. So I brought in the big guns. Yes... my husband is here to communicate what I couldn't. I invite you to see how to CATCH what may be most important for you to hear. May God work in your heart as you listen so that you will remember what He wants you to hear through this. Love, Belah PS - If you are ready to find out how healthy your marriage is, I invite you to find out through this free resource: Marital Health Assessment: delightyourmarriage.com/health PPS - If you're ready to transform your marriage, join a free Clarity Call (it's such a blessing) at delightyourmarriage.com/cc Recent Delight Your Marriage program graduate's testimonial: "After listening to the podcasts for a couple of years, I had hope that this might be a source of real change. But now that I have participated in MR [Masculinity Reclaimed], I can say that my hopes at the beginning have been greatly exceeded... In my experience, DYM [Delight Your Marriage] is one of the most Christ-honoring and Spirit-empowered ministries that I have benefited from after following Jesus for 26 years. DYM would be the first ministry I would recommend to transform a marriage in a real and lasting way."

Roy was married 25 years with 5 kids. And they had a good marriage. They love the Lord and seek to serve Him with all. Intimacy was tough though. And every time he brought it up, she would get defensive, or feel like she wasn't good enough, or like he'll never be satisfied. Anyone else feel that way? He had heard about Masculinity Reclaimed for a couple of years and finally decided it was time. He kept hitting a wall. And if you're in that place, I want you to know... It's legitimate that issues around intimacy hurt. They hurt deeply. But Roy got to a place where trying to change her wasn't working. And so, he decided it was time to look at himself. He knew going into the program if he let his wife know, in the beginning, she would put many, many more walls up... So, he decided to go forward without her knowing. Because, as he said, this was a coaching program FOR HIM. He had to talk to someone. It was either therapy or a coaching program. (And he said she doesn't really like therapy either). Anyway... that's where things started. But, in 12 weeks, God did something amazing. If you're a man looking/grasping for hope and/or you want the tools for changing your marriage, I invite you to listen. If you're a woman who will listen with a curious heart to find out how men really feel about intimacy, I invite you to listen. Love & Blessings, Belah PS - Would you like to work on your side of your marriage? I invite you to sign up for a free Clarity Call here at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. PPS - How healthy is your marriage, really? Take the free Marital Health Assessment here! delightyourmarriage.com/health Quote from a Masculinity Reclaimed Graduate: "I've learned so much, your course helped me figure out so many things I've been struggling with in my life and I've really been able to make sense of pain and emotions that I haven't figured out until now. There are many more great things that have come from doing your course!"

Is what you're doing in your marriage right now working for you? Do you feel hopeless? Are you lonely in your marriage? If you believed that your actions alone could make a difference, if you knew the tools to use to make a difference in your marriage, would you be willing to use them? Tom's story is inspiring and is not unique to graduates of Delight Your Marriage programs. Praise God, the tools given to married individuals through our programs have moved so many marriages into places of hope, joy, and a much greater degree of the abundant life that God wants for us to live out as His people. It is not easy. It requires us to have humility, faith in what God can do with a yielded obedient heart, perseverance, and a desire to please our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. If any of this resonates with you, we invite you to sign up for a free Clarity Call right here. We hope that Tom's story gives you hope that marriage could be more and motivates you to a willingness to do the work of building a better marriage and family...as much as it depends on you. Love and prayers, Darcy (on behalf of Belah) Quote from a Graduate: "The MR [Masculinity Reclaimed] program was the best thing I've ever done for my marriage, hands down! Wish I'd taken it years ago. Just amazing to see the work God can do in a person's heart, if that person is willing to do the work and make the changes needed. I hope everyone who goes through the program tells their friends about it. I for one will be spreading the news about DYM [Delight Your Marriage]!! Why wouldn't I, when it changed my life??"

Is there dignity in humility? Is there dignity in humiliation? Initially, you might think not. But then we have to take a moment to consider the cross. An excruciating death, reserved not for Roman citizens, but for rebels and slaves... because it was SO SO humiliating. And yet, the God of glory, the One who DESERVES all glory and honor... HUMILIATED Himself not only to come as a baby, giving up His power, constraining Himself to human form, and giving up His rights in an infinite number of ways... to then suffer the humiliation, the pain... for the joy set before Him. Not because we deserved it, ...but because it is a testament to HIS surrender to the Father's will that He endured the cross. This is why you are humble and a servant to your spouse, ...because humility is the VERY dignity of Jesus. Humility is what Jesus Himself modeled. Why do you close your mouth when you want to criticize your spouse? Why do you pause instead of, "let them have it," when they deserve to be dressed down for their bad behavior? Why do you go out of your way to make them feel special, even though they haven't done it for you? Why do you forgive them for the pain they have caused you? Why are you joyful even though they don't add to it in the ways they know you'd love? Because you are walking in the humility that Jesus Himself invites you to. Every single day, in your marriage, you are invited to walk in His humility. What does humility look like? Jesus. Was He a pushover? No. Was He passive? No. But was He an extravagant servant? Most definitely. So, are there boundaries to humility? Yes. I invite you to have a curious heart if God has something for you here. I reference the book "Humility," by Andrew Murray, a lot in this episode. I also reference the Bible a lot. (I highly recommend it :) Love & Blessings, Belah PS - Have you already downloaded our intimacy framework so that you can love your spouse the way they receive love? If not, go to delightyourmarriage.com/framework PPS - Are you ready to be the spouse God has called you to be, but need some guidance about what that looks like? To schedule a free Clarity Call, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see if our programs could be what you need. A Graduate's Testimonial: "I would recommend this program to a fellow Christian who is looking to make their marriage better in all aspects. The intimacy aspect is important but there were so many other ideas and realizations around other ways to better my marriage. I appreciate so much Belah's enthusiasm and honesty. There is a lot of great info and expertise in here. She did an amazing job propping guys up and being positive which was infectious!"

"It's my spouse who needs to change." If you've said this or thought this...you are right. So now, no need to listen to anything because there's nothing for you to do but wait around in a grumpy mood 'til your spouse decides to do something. :) Maybe there's another opportunity here. Maybe we can be (as our team member Kyle says) "playfully curious" about this response. Why do we assume it's all on our spouse? What questions are we... a-refusing to ask b-unaware that we need to be asking c-too distracted to think about it :) (Oh, was that your email/TikTok/IG/Facebook/text message notification that just went off? :P ) Today's episode is to help you honestly look at where your marriage is, and discern if and how your partner is the issue. And, if and how, with playful curiosity, you might have an opportunity in your situation, as well! Love & Blessings, Belah PS If you want to see if we can help you in your marriage and honestly evaluate where you can work in your marriage, we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call by clicking here. Quote from Masculinity Reclaimed Graduate: "I have spent much more money trying to rekindle my marriage with no results. I have 2 failed "Romantic Vacations" and a bathroom remodel to prove it. I spent less on this and had fantastic results. This might possibly be the best investment of my life."

This episode was back from the very beginning of 2019. Wow! It's STILL relevant. And even when I re-listened, I was struck by a specific exercise that put life in great perspective. I encourage you to do the same -- for God's glory to ultimately be experienced in your marriage, family, and life! In the long view of your 100 years on earth, what is going to matter in THIS season? I had an abrupt and unsettling realization when I had a parent-teacher conference a few weeks ago. Though I believe I was discerning God's will and way for my life, I don't believe I was pursuing it in God's timing. And that is one of the central themes around today's podcast. What is your season (mine is a quarter inch) in the grand scheme of life? And what matters most right now? From there, what do you do with that understanding? How does it become practical and lived out? Blessings, Belah PS If you'd like to see if we can help you in your marriage, we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call here. From a Masculinity Reclaimed graduate: "My confidence with my wife is now enabling me to be her rock much more effectively. (Before DYM [Delight Your Marriage] I would often blame myself and pull away when we had disagreements). Thank you and Belah and the whole Team for being there!! God specifically used MR 1 [Masculinity Reclaimed] and 2 [MR Graduate group] to transform me into a much better man and husband in a way I did not think possible!"

This was meant to be a light & encouraging holiday podcast episode. Then, it turned into a heavy and warning-type episode. You'll be around souls this holiday. Souls, that maybe you don't feel fully at peace with. Souls, that maybe you have been wronged by. Souls, that maybe you still feel the sting of the pain they inflicted on you. This is spoken for no specific person...except, definitely for me. Also, maybe for all of those I work with. And maybe every person who has ever told me about their marriage struggles. And maybe everyone else I know, too. So, yeah... take this one personally. May God stir His truth in you. This is the good news: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." This is the terrifying truth... "But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Jesus said this in the gospel of Matthew 6:15 (NIV). Here's the deal... I follow Jesus and need Him to save me. I NEED him to forgive me. And according to that verse, if I don't forgive others... I have no hope of eternal salvation. May that sober us up this holiday to forgive every person, every single one. So, I needed to hear this. And, I NEED to live this in EVERY single relationship. It's a command. I needed to be reminded of it. I hope you did, too. Love you with great love -- in courage and integrity, Belah PS -- If you'd like to see what more God wants to do in your marriage, sign up for a free Clarity Call delightyourmarriage.com/cc

This was originally published a while back--but we highly recommend you listen again as you're praying through and discerning what God has for you in the new season of 2023. … I love New Years because everything feels fresh and energized. Even though, practically speaking, it's the same as every other day, you just have to start training yourself to use a new number at the end of your dates. But I am all about using whatever energy there is to increase my chances of growth and change--in God's will. So, that's what today's podcast is about--becoming stronger in your vision. It's about realizing that you're going to stand before Jesus and He'll be curious what you did with your days…which lead to weeks…which lead to years, and then decades. We must be cautious about how we spend our time and spend it in priority to God's will. I will show you the specific document I have used since 2013 and review at least quarterly to align my life with how I perceive God wants me to live. I will also discuss the process I use to discern God's will for my life every quarter. I think we need to be considering God's will consistently in our lives and move toward it more and more everyday. I think you'll love the conversation and I look forward to hearing from you! Blessings, Belah PS If you'd like the free resource I mentioned to help you understand how to love your spouse the way they are craving, go to delightyourmarriage.com/framework PPS If you'd like help in your marriage, you are invited to schedule a free Clarity Call here. This call is invaluable in helping you to examine and evaluate where you currently are in your marriage and whether or not our courses could be helpful to you. From a Clarity Call participant who decided not to take the course(s):: "Thank you and thanks for your guys' help. I honestly couldn't have done it without the help of the podcast and just our talk opens my eyes up to what God wants for me and what direction and guidance he is showing me so thank you so so much!"