Delight Your Marriage

Back 1.5 years ago, Taylor went through the men's program and witnessed God do some important work. Most important: in his heart. But as Jesus says: For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person." If the point of Delight Your Marriage is to help men and women get their heart right, then of course the rest would follow. My encouragement to you today, is focus on the heart. Focus on surrendering your heart to the Lord so He can free you of all of that which you hate. He is God and there is freedom with Him. Blessings, Belah PS - If you're looking for changes like this, we would love to help you on a Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc From another recent graduate: MR Grad: "GOD is certainly using DYM [Delight Your Marriage] to impact lives." Before MR: "Some of the biggest struggles I was facing were that marital intimacy was all but nonexistent. That included emotional intimacy- whether I wanted to see that or not. I have long struggled with pornography... My self-worth was in the dumps. I was always looking for affirmation from my wife and she from me. Neither of us delivered - neither could deliver enough. After MR: "I'm taking ownership. This is my home. This is my marriage. She is my wife. Ours is a union blessed by God. In taking my roles as husband, father, help mate more seriously, my whole family has begun to benefit. The man's role is not to simply coexist, but to lead the marriage and family. I can make a difference in the family by leading to and with God."

You may be on a journey to get a better marriage... But do you know where you are right now? The trouble is when people with a 9/10 marriage give advice to someone with a 2/10 marriage... It doesn't make sense. AND a left turn at the WRONG TIME could lead to disaster. That is why we developed the Marital Health Assessment, a tool you can use to determine if you're on track in your marriage. Or if you need a left turn now or to stay straight for another 37 exits :) I invite you to take this free Marital Health Assessment to determine where you are now so you can wisely choose your next steps! Delightyourmarriage.com/health

We are indeed at war. Now is not the time to walk idly by. Now is not the time to pretend it's all just fine. Now is not the time to think only about ourselves. And your marriage matters during the tribulation. Regardless of who endures the end times (our generation... or the next, or next, or next...) what you do or don't do in your marriage matters. Whether or not Christianity is worthwhile to your kids can be significantly impacted by what they see in your marriage. But what does preparing for the end times PRACTICALLY look like? What does marriage have to do with the end times? Actually, a lot. Well, I am hoping today's episode is entertaining and encouraging. Thank you, Belah PS - We'd love to help you delight your marriage. Your first (courageous, yet super easy -- and worth it!!) step is a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc Men's Graduate Quote: "Your program is so holy spirit inspired. I just continue to be amazed at the content in the teaching. I like that it was very practical and easy to understand. I love that the first and main focus was on our relationship with God before it moved into other areas or even included our wives."

As an Amish growing up, Donny has had quite the journey. Just a couple of years ago after God rescued him from a very difficult place, his marriage actually was fairly good. He found and listened to the podcast for quite a while and felt convicted that he needed to do the men's program. He was content in his own marriage, he just wanted to know if he could recommend it to others. But he was surprised to see how helpful it was to him personally, and his marriage grew even more than he thought possible. :) Things got tricky when some people approached him with concern about the fact that I'm a lady in leadership. Wisely so, he and his wife grappled with and prayed about it. He distinctly felt the Lord speak to his heart about it. I would love for you to hear what he felt the Lord say. I hope his story encourages you. Love, Belah PS - If you would like to see how we can help you, take the courageous step and sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc Delighted Wife Grad Quote: Before DW: "We had a home full of animosity. Chaos. Yelling and fighting. We were not intimate." After DW: "This program has truly changed my marriage forever! This has empowered me to forgive, put my trust in Jesus, and to bring my marriage to the place I never thought possible. I started this program broken and in utter despair. The sadness and the defeat was a physical pain. That weight has been lifted off of me. We still have things to work on, but so thankful for the tools and hope to keep on pursuing toward the marriage I dreamt of!"

As empty nesters, you know how they say you'll enjoy growing old together. Well, Kim says, "We were growing older, but not enjoying it." Kim was suffering in her marriage -- crying on her friend's shoulder. As they prayed that God would change it. Then, that friend told her about the podcast, the one you're listening to. That friend also told her husband. After hearing all the testimonials, he joined the men's program. Kim was kind of annoyed that he did this. Because she also listened to a couple of episodes and it pointed to areas of her marriage that she had wounding around. Things turned around... REALLY beautifully. I know Russ, her husband, and Kim pretty well by now (after two years) and it has been remarkable seeing this couple grow. Their first transformation story was episode 293 (be sure to check that out!). That was the first time I met Kim. It's been amazing to have her in the Delighted Wife program and to see what God has done through it. May this story encourage you. There is hope. If you're suffering and crying on a friend's shoulder... you just never know what God might do. We invite you to take the next step and schedule a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc Blessings, Belah PS - Kim's entire marriage turned around because a friend had the courage to point her to a podcast. What if YOU are meant to be that friend to someone else? I invite you to forward this to someone who may need hope... hope that God still transforms marriages and families. Recent wife grad quote: "Belah has done the most important thing for me which is change the negative beliefs that I have had concerning my marriage and helped me to see from a renewed perspective which has forever impacted my marriage! Both my husband and I am grateful for what this program has done for us. I have attended many marriage seminars and trainings throughout my marriage and this is by far the best investment I have ever made."

My heart goes out to any wife who has experienced sexual abuse. There are so many layers of pain... it's truly horrible. As a husband, the evil that was done to your wife harmed her immeasurably. The person you love the most. And it impacted your marriage, your intimacy, and your life forever. Is healing possible? What if she doesn't "DEAL WITH" her abuse? (Sometimes I hear men say that their hands are tied if she doesn't deal with her trauma.) Can a husband do anything? I believe Bill's story can give you hope. He would say, "Yes." From many years of a full life but an empty marriage, he is thrilled to tell you, there is hope even for your marriage. He has 43 years under his belt. He was a self-diagnosed "podcast addict." :) Always looking to FIX his wife. He knew there had to be a solution. But nothing moved the needle ...until Delight Your Marriage. He said after 3 months of the Masculinity Reclaimed program (MR)... from decades of passionless marriage, they feel "like 60-something teenagers ...we're so in love!" His wife sent me an email after she heard his interview and she confirmed what he said and shared her sentiments as well. I read that on the podcast as well. May you be encouraged for yourself or others! (I encourage you to share this with someone who may need exactly this hope and encouragement!) Love, Belah PS - You're ready to witness God's transformation like Bill? It's as easy as a phone call to a friend, her name is Dana, and she's our Clarity Advisor. :) delightyourmarriage.com/cc Sign up for a free Clarity Call to help you sort through the hard and gain insight on next steps... possibly with us to have a transformation like Bill's! PPS - This episode made my husband cry... that doesn't happen often. I hope it is healing to your heart like it was to his. Quote from a program grad: "I would recommend this program to any husband who feels trapped like I did when I first reached out to Belah. I came into this program looking for someone to 'straighten out my wife.' Truth be told, I needed more help then she did. Belah challenged the narrative in my head. She pushed me to be vulnerable and soft and patient - all things that run counter to our culture. It was not always easy. In fact, it was often very uncomfortable and felt silly. But once I realized it wasn't about me and I committed wholeheartedly, I saw my wife begin to change before my eyes. The changes I made in MYSELF changed my wife. It wasn't always easy and it required more patience than I sometimes had, but in the end it was worth it. Every aspect of my relationship with my wife has improved and that was more than I bargained for. I have a greater understanding of who my wife is and why she is so special to both God and myself. Belah didn't fix my marriage - she did something better. She gave me the tools and the guidance to fix it myself, with God's help. This allows me to continually work on it, improve it, and cherish it after my time [in Delight Your Marriage] is over and for that I will always be thankful."

Clarity is crucial in a marriage because it allows individuals to gain self-awareness, understand their own emotions and behaviors, and without even realizing it, it can help you take responsibility for your part in the relationship dynamics. Maybe you didn't "cause it" but you haven't worked to solve it. When couples face challenges or conflicts, it's easy to blame each other or external factors without examining what is really going on under the surface of the behaviors. A Clarity Call encourages an individual to look carefully at themselves, their patterns, history, and reflect on their thoughts, feelings, actions, and current situation. Sign up for a free Clarity Call today! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc By engaging in a Clarity Call, individuals can identify their own patterns and unresolved issues that may be impacting the relationship. It helps them recognize their own biases, insecurities, woundedness, and areas for personal growth. Through a Clarity Call, individuals can better understand how their own behaviors and reactions may influence the dynamics within the marriage. Believe it or not, a Clarity Call can also foster empathy and compassion. When Dana speaks with an individual -- they take the time to understand their own experiences, process them, and become more attuned to their partner's emotions and perspectives. This increased awareness enables them to approach conflicts with empathy, communicate more effectively, and find solutions that meet both partners' needs. This is why the individuals on today's call said this: "After that call, everything that I went through, it was just like, all the pieces of a major puzzle being put together." "You make it very easy. You make it our lives are in chaos and you guys just speak peace right into that situation and calm it down to where we can unload what we need to unload." "It was a great experience something I'll never forget because it was a great moment that I'll hold dear to my heart for the rest of my life." Sign up for a free Clarity Call today! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc

I'd like to share Kevin's story, mostly in his own words. As always, there is a huge message of hope and transformation available in this story, so I hope you'll listen in! After 28 years of marriage, feeling like roommates, Kevin said "I felt helpless" and "very isolated, very alone" in the struggles he experienced. As a very successful (and busy!) IT exec overseeing teams in India, UK, France, and elsewhere, and really being able to figure out most things on his own... It was confusing to not be able to figure out marriage in the same way. And it was painful to hear his wife caring more about something like Diet Coke than him. Logically, he knew it wasn't true but it sure felt like it at times. He listened to the DYM transformation stories (like this one!). And they sounded too good to be true. But he kept hearing parts of his story over and over again through other people's DYM interviews. He thoroughly checked into the DYM work and dived into the podcasts. Of the work, he said, "the more and more I listened, the more I found and heard the biblical basis of everything and heard the logic." Then, he took courage and had the Clarity Call which he said "the Clarity Call was exactly what it says: it was very clarifying." Once in, of the program: "It was very incremental, very linear, and based in a way where it clicks, where it makes sense." "The feedback loop, the accountability, the camaraderie of all the other gentlemen going through the program, that environment is an extra dimension of learning that I think is important, if not key to success." "It pours all the ingredients together to make things work." "I talked about things I have never talked about with anybody in my whole life during that part of the program." Through the Delight Your Marriage program, Kevin experienced an improvement in his marriage and a greater sense of fulfillment and walk with God. We would love to take the next step with you too. Sign up for a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and we can witness your transformation as well! (And who knows, maybe just like Kevin, you'll be our next transformation story who initially thought it was "too good to be true"!) Love & Blessings, Belah PS -- If you're wondering how healthy your marriage is right now so you can get clear on the aspects to improve, fill out the Marital Health Assessment for a free evaluation of your marriage health so you can take steps to make it even better! delightyourmarriage.com/health PPS -- Take action now and sign up for the Clarity Call. Sign up for a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and we can witness your transformation as well!

I am grateful so many men share their unfiltered hearts with me. It is an honor and a privilege. I find that many men feel extremely misunderstood. And they have numbed their pain just to "get through". The problem with numbing is we don't see the people right in front of us and the pain they are experiencing. What I see so frequently is men who are desperately trying to be the men God designed them to be, but are frustrated with the lack of respect in their marriages. I want to help you understand... 1 - that your feelings here are valid and even God-designed 2 - there is a productive way to handle this gap (Spoiler alert: it starts on the inside of you.) Love & Blessings, Belah PS -- Are you curious about the overall health of your marriage? Respect is a big piece and when it's missing, it impacts the emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy of a marriage. Discover the strengths and weaknesses of your marriage with our free online Marital Health Assessment delightyourmarriage.com/health When you do, we'll send you some free resources and recommendations based on your specific situation and needs. Fill out the free Marital Health Assessment now. delightyourmarriage.com/health Graduate Quote: "It's changed it completely, our home environment is filled with tenderness, compassion, love and respect."

Oh, the pain of frustration, being consistently misunderstood, and having your needs (legitimate needs) consistently trampled upon. Both Jerry and Joyce felt it. And Jerry desperately looked for answers. Delight Your Marriage wasn't his first program -- but unfortunately, the other one gave advice that almost drove his wife to a nervous breakdown. Jerry didn't get out of his marriage, though his frustration level (due to his hurt) was through the roof. The pain was so deep for her, she couldn't even attend the church he pastored. Joyce was considering separation and even talking with lawyers. But then Jerry decided to give Delight Your Marriage a try. Now... a year later, Joyce not only loves her husband again, but "likes him," too. ("Liking" your spouse can be way harder than "loving" them.) She's actually looking forward to raising their small children together and is happy even being a pastor's wife now. The healing that has taken place in just over a year, is now impacting every single person in their ministry and family life. God is amazing and we give Him all the credit for this transformation! We are honored He has used the programs of Delight Your Marriage to help bring about these changes for them. If you're at a similar place (or not quite as extreme), then know there is hope for you, too. There is a price for change like this -- effort, time, financial investment, energy, courage, humility and even getting uncomfortable -- But take it from Joyce... It is worth it. Your next step is to get on a Clarity Call ( delightyourmarriage.com/cc ) to discover how to change you that will impact all those around you (and specifically your marriage). Love, Belah PS - Seriously... It's time to discover how you can be the change agent God wants to use to turn your marriage around, so you love AND like your spouse. delightyourmarriage.com/cc Have a free Clarity Call to gain insight and discern your next steps: delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - If you know a marriage that needs hope like this, will you take the courage and care to forward this episode on? You may be saving a family and faith community in the process. Quote from a course graduate: "The things that I've learned are really priceless when it comes to my marriage… When I first started this program it seemed like my wife didn't even want to talk to me, much less make love to me. Man how things have changed...The changes that I see in my wife are nothing short of a miracle, she has went from being cold and callous, To warm and loving!"

Join us for an inspiring conversation with Jenny, a loving housewife and mother of four from Finland. In this episode, Jenny shares her remarkable transformation journey and the positive impact it had on her marriage. Previously working as a nurse before having kids, Jenny and her husband made a conscious decision to prioritize their family and serve the Lord in a unique way. Through their involvement in a discipleship-making movement, they found Delight Your Marriage, a program that brought significant changes to their lives. Jenny's husband initially joined the men's program and experienced a profound transformation (from her perspective as the wife). Encouraged by his progress, Jenny recognized her own need for growth and decided to embark on her own journey. She realized that she had lost touch with her own needs while prioritizing the needs of her family, often neglecting her spiritual well-being. But she realized she was busy and God spoke to her heart that she was being a "Martha" far more than a "Mary." Through the Delighted Wife program, Jenny discovered the importance of immersing herself in the Word of God, prayer, and worship. These foundational habits reignited her passion for the Lord, restoring her joy for her children, and enabling her to share the Gospel with others. One significant change in Jenny's transformation was her renewed desire for intimacy in her marriage. As she developed a deeper understanding of how women and men were designed, thanks to participation in the program, Jenny felt more comfortable expressing her needs to him. By cultivating new habits and taking small steps, Jenny found her way back to a more fulfilling and vibrant spiritual life. She shares her story as an example of how investing in one's marriage, time with God, and meditating on the Word of God can lead to profound transformation. If you're longing for a more joyful, intimate, and fulfilling marriage, Jenny's story is sure to inspire you. To hear Jenny's full story and learn more about her transformation journey, listen to the complete interview on this episode. If you're ready to take the next step in your own marriage, sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and discover how Delight Your Marriage can help you experience a delightful and intimate marriage like never before. Remember, your marriage is a precious gift that deserves your investment and attention. Don't miss out on the incredible transformation possible when you prioritize your relationship and embrace personal growth. Love, Delight Your Marriage team PS - Ready to experience a delightful and intimate marriage? Take the next step towards transforming your relationship by signing up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc today. Discover how Delight Your Marriage can empower you to cultivate a deep and fulfilling connection with your spouse. Quote from a program grad: "If you're committed to the program and make it a priority, you can be truly successful! Bella has changed our marriage in a really special way."

Mother's Day is almost here! (This Sunday!) Make sure the mom in your life is getting treated really nicely! She is WONDERFUL and deserves to be celebrated! I have a wonderful mom. She sacrificed so much for me. I am forever in her debt. As a mom myself... I believe sacrificing to be a good mom brings her greater joy than if she had never sacrificed at all. Sacrifice. Duty. Responsibility. Sounds antiquated, old-fashioned, and maybe even oppressive...? Am I morally obligated to take care of my kids? Did I assume the responsibility for their well-being when my husband and I enjoyed... ...ehemm... "actions with procreative potential"... which (happily) resulted in a child? I would submit the answer is "yes." I now lay down Feelings and pick up a life built upon proper values. Hopefully, your mom did the same... otherwise, it would have been a very difficult existence for you. The nature of a mother: assuming a role and duty to care for those souls entrusted to her. What does this have to do with wives? In today's society, we often hear that women should only make love if they Feel like it. And they might say it's bad to make love when you don't naturally desire it. When you don't Feel like it. If I used that logic in caring for my children... only when I Feel like it, they'd justly arrest me for child neglect. I am a self-centered, selfish, self-focused, narcissist if I am led by Feelings. Feelings are not my guide. Jesus is. How do I know who Jesus is, so I know what He is like, and what He wants of me? The Bible. Is there any other source that clarifies who and what Jesus asks of me better than the Bible? No. If all that is true... why is it we (ok... maybe it's just me :) struggle like this... Feel down, follow by: laying on the couch...with a bag of Cheetos Feel anxious, follow by: distracting my worries by scrolling through interesting video clips Feel tired / annoyed / down / uncomfortable / frumpy / fat / unattractive / undesireable / lazy / anxious / stressed / cramped / worried / distracted / entertained / even happy..., follow by: heading straight to bed avoiding all manner of intimacy... at all costs. At times, my mouth says: "Jesus is my King," but in real life: "my Feelings rule". (These all certainly have been true, but when I repent sincerely and come back to Jesus' way, He has helped me to stop following the tempting Feelings less and less.) We all need to live by our values from the Bible. The Bible becomes the standard for life and there are a lot of important things about marriage, marital sacrifice, and the purpose of marital intimacy. It would be worthwhile to look these up: Matt 19:4-6, Mark 10:6-9, Ephesians 5:21-33, 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Timothy 5:14, Romans 13:13-14, Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:7, Hebrews 13:4.... and that's just the New Testament! I assume the responsibility of taking care of my children, to fulfill the role of Mom. I assume the responsibility of taking care of my husband, to fulfill the role of Wife. This is not following the world's definition of happiness. It is true happiness. This is in God's will. This is following Jesus. Happy Mother's Day! I bet you wouldn't wish you followed Feelings more and sacrificed less to follow Jesus... in your role as a Mom. I invite us both to hold that same standard for your role as a Wife. You have sacrificed well, happily, and joyfully...and it is worth it! :) Bravo & thank you! The precious souls in your care, thank you! Love, Belah PS If applying this thought process toward your spouse feels convicting, we understand and have been there, too. We're here to help...if you want help, schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc Do Delight Your Marriage programs help? That's a fair question...here's another graduate quote to give you hope: Before the program challenges were: "low sex drive, no physical pleasure from sex, pressure to have sex often, resentful of having to have sex often, insecure body image" After the program: "I now look forward to sex, enjoy it physically, am able to seduce my husband, and we both feeling amazingly satisfied all the time!!" Join us: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

This title was hard to come up with. Essentially, I want you to have the tools and mindset to figure out how to set boundaries with yourself and with others when needed. Jesus was the servant of all. He came to serve not to be served. He was the most humble and meek. And yet, Jesus set boundaries. A lot. Here are a couple, but once you read this, you'll probably not be able to read a parable or look at the life of Jesus without noticing His leaning into boundaries over and over again. Jesus disappointed people because his priority was God over people In Mark 1:35-39, Jesus wakes up early to pray, but his disciples come looking for him, saying that "everyone is looking for you." In Matthew 16:21-23, Jesus tells his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer at the hands of the elders, chief priests, and scribes. Peter rebukes him, saying that this should never happen to him. Jesus responds by telling Peter that he is setting his mind on human things rather than God's things and calls him a hindrance. In Luke 14:25-33, Jesus sets the boundary of the cost of discipleship. He says anyone who wants to follow him, essentially compared to their love for Jesus, must hate their family and even their own life. They must carry their own cross, and give up all their possessions. If they're not willing to pay this price, they can't follow him. In John 2:13-17, Jesus clears the temple of the money changers and merchants, telling them to stop making his Father's house a marketplace. He shows anger and uses physical force to set this boundary. Jesus was the servant of all but did not allow anyone to trod on boundaries. So, what if you are trodding on God's boundaries? What if your spouse wants to trod on the boundaries set by God? Sexual boundaries? Disrespect boundaries? Other boundaries? Should you set boundaries with yourself? Should you set boundareis with your spouse? If so, how? Is there a way to have a generous heart and a kind spirit and yet set a firm boundary? This conversation goes into these things that are HARD to tease through. I don't think I have it all right. This is a topic that I feel a bit reticent to release. And I think it will require prayer as you discern how it applies to you. And what your next steps are. Love & Blessings, Belah PS - Let us know if this topic spoke to you and if we can help, email us at belah at delightyourmarriage.com PPS - Quote from a program graduate: "I have become a delighted, playful wife that enjoys and desires sex. My relationship to the Lord, my husband and our daughter has become more intimate."

Pastor David had a rocky start with his marriage. Facing his hurts wasn't what he actually wanted to do. He was nervous to bring it up to his wife -- they share all their finances. So he brought it up to her and said he wants to transform into the man, husband and father he wants to become. Even only 4 weeks into the program, Pastor David's wife commented, "I have noticed a change. Keep it up. It was worth the money." And she is not a physical touch kind of person, which was his highest love language. Yet, even in just those 4 weeks of implementing what was taught in the course, this has increased. It's hard to face our pain, isn't it! It's tough to be vulnerable about the things we struggle with that are closest to our hearts...yes, it takes courage to open those wounds up so that we can get them healed. Husband... wife... you don't have to struggle alone. Do you desire to grow but don't have a safe space to be open and real with what is going on in your heart and marriage? We're here for that...we're a safe place to gently open up that really private, hurting space...or that struggle that you don't dare to share with anyone in your life. We want your heart to be healed. We want to help you break free from the chains that hold you back. We want to breathe life into your weariness, hope into your despair, and help you be the man or woman of God that you long to be in your marriage and family...and ministry. There is hope! We invite you to fresh faith and to follow even closer to the One who is THE way, THE truth, and THE life. We'd love to help. Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see if our program would be a good fit for you. Blessings, Darcy (on Belah's behalf) PS - The Pre-Dating workbook is finally here! If you've been blessed (like David -- who said he already bought 6! and plans to buy more!) by the content from Delight Your Marriage over the years and want to see young people get these tools before they ever get married, get your copy now! https://amzn.to/3NhF8DL

Our interview is about how to get a young person to read/do this workbook that could set them up for a successful dating and married life! --- WOW! I am honored and grateful! My goodness. So, the story goes... yesterday morning Amazon told me that it might be 3 days before the workbook could be live... Pre-Dating Workbook: What you need to know and do before you start dating (and definitely during) Biblical guidance from a marriage trainer and coach https://amzn.to/40Hr21D Eeek! Of course, we've all been counting down the days and the launch day was Friday. So yesterday (Thursday) I sent an ask to my list that they would pray that it would in fact be live on Friday. And guess what posted late on Thursday. By the time I saw it, somehow some clients had picked it up and already had purchased AND already had REVIEWED!!! So, today BEFORE we even told our email list that it was live, it has been named #1 New Release for Christian Youth Ministry!!!! WOW! THANK YOU if you have already purchased! If not, here's the link! https://amzn.to/40Hr21D

Brett is fantastic! Firstly, many men have a similar past that we work with but don't share it openly. I really appreciate Brett's boldness to share and it encourages so many others! That yes, even for your history, there IS HOPE! My favorite quotes: "Now, I can't wait to go home at night." "[I have] closer friendships in MR than what I have in everyday life...It's unexplainable how you feel when you've got guys or brothers reaching out to you." "The biggest thing is my relationship with Lord has grown." His marriage is transforming, healing, and trusting again -- his friendships are deep and encouraging, and as a father, he's influencing his kids for the Lord. (His wife is really liking the changes -- but he hasn't yet shared that he did the program.) His relationship with the Lord is thriving like never before! It's amazing to see what God has done! I hope you will feel encouraged too! Blessings, Belah PS - If you'd like help like Brett, sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - We're very soon to launch our Pre-Dating Video Course & Workbook - What you need to know & do before you start dating (but definitely during). Keep an eye on your inbox!

You are teaching them. Whether consciously or unconsciously, they're observing you and figuring out whether you have something they want. Do they want the marriage you have? Is marriage worth it? Do you have guidance that would actually give them the result they want? If you've been around Delight Your Marriage a while, you know we are passionate about helping marriages get better, SO THAT they can do God's will better in the world. But what if your marriage was set up with the right framework, role modeling, and good habits BEFORE you even started your dating relationship? Since we started teaching marriage, we have always been told that they WISHED they knew this before ever getting married. And it's so true. So many people didn't start out with the tools. They've never even seen a good marriage! But your son or daughter could get a leg up. They could get started on the spouse pursuit journey by having not only a great example (you!) but also the tools clearly articulated for them. What if your son or daughter knew how to find and attract the right partner to help you fulfill your God-given purposes? In our climate that may seem like a tall order! You are teaching your kids whether you like it or not. They learn that you have nothing helpful for them, or they learn that you can give them the tools and insights they need to thrive in their most important human relationship! With all of our work with men and women, we have seen it done well and done very poorly many times. And it is the right time for us to help this next generation START their marriage pursuit well. Ultimately we want them to find, marry, and sustain a wonderful marriage built upon biblical wisdom SO THAT they can do God's will in the earth. Today's podcast is about how you can help the next generation. We'd like your help as we're finalizing a pre-dating resource! If you'd like to offer your wisdom and experience and suggestions, we'd really appreciate your input! Partner with us by filling out this survey How to help the next generation get and stay married? delightyourmarriage.com/dating Blessings, Belah PS - Seriously, I want to know what you think! We're finalizing pre-dating resources now – get in on this! Survey: How to help the next generation get and stay married? delightyourmarriage.com/dating PPS - If you need help on your own marriage for the sake of your kids, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc A recent grad: BEFORE: "Prior to doing MR I often felt alone and that my sexual desire was a problem. I felt my wife often intentionally withheld intimacy from me. It was difficult to discuss because my wife felt I was blaming her and she wasn't enough." AFTER: "Understanding my wife better. Learning Health ways of responding. More and deeper sexual intimacy. More freedom and playfulness The learning and growth has meant I can focus on God better which enables me to be a better version of myself. This has enabled me to focus more on others." If you need help on your own marriage for the sake of your kids, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc

When the crisis occurs outside of your home, if it's not peaceful and healed in your marriage, it becomes an additional stress instead of support in a horrible time. I am not sure if you've lived through war – literally – but if so, you'll relate to Alex. I'll share more about him in a second. Every member of our DYM team witnessed life transformation in their own marriages (first) and then God seemed to give us a need for a position right as He gave us the person who fits that need. But with our need for a tech and automations specialist, the expertise was so specific that it was important we go for someone who is foremost extremely good in their specialized field, as we can't risk the infrastructure of the organization to not work correctly. That's when, last April we hired Alex as our tech and automations consultant. He has amazing experience in the field, with our specific systems, and has worked with hundreds of clients, some businesses making millions per year and one even $50M per year. It was such a relief to hire him. Purely on a professional level, he has been amazing to work with – hardworking, proactive, humble, responsible, and (shockingly) positive. But he was living through war. Literally. His home is the capital city of Kyiv, Ukraine, which was attacked last February. Since, he has endured this horror at his doorstep. Eventually, he and his wife were able to escape to Spain but after a couple of months, they returned to Ukraine to help with generators and getting food and clothing to orphans suffering the bitter winter. As a member of the team – he was the only one who hadn't gone through the program. But unlike anyone who has ever been a candidate for the program, he had seen the full backend. How we handle data, how we set up the program, the many transformation stories and really getting to know our team personally. He also had an opportunity to decide is now a good time to focus on his marriage and take the Masculinity Reclaimed program. During war. He decided... Yes, it was. And his encouragement to you is "don't postpone it... as it won't only affect your marriage but it will have a positive effect on your entire life." All in all, there is hope. Even if you're struggling and the battle rages not only outside your home but inside. It is worth it to get your marriage better so you can withstand the difficulties and even literal wars in this life. We would love to help you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc Blessings, Belah PS - Sign up for a free clarity Call to find out if you're the right candidate to witness the transformation as well: delightyourmarriage.com/cc Another recent grad wrote: "I want to reiterate my appreciation of the whole DYM process: from Dana's Clarity Call, Darcy's logistic support, Bob and Russ's guidance, the shared vulnerability and support of the other men, and Belah's profound wisdom through divine inspiration. I would really recommend this program to all married men. There is so much wisdom and depth to this program that can be applied to intermarital problems that seem almost universal. I wish I had this coaching and information 30 years ago."

Are you exhausted from the fight? The struggle? The resist and then fail? Then try, then fail, then good, then fail, then try again, then fail... Maybe you have a few good days, weeks even months... But it's lurking in the background. Waiting to take you down again. And who knows how long you'll be down this time. Maybe it'll be just this once... maybe you'll be down forever. Maybe you'll never get back out. Maybe you'll never be the man God has called you to be. Truly. Maybe you'll squander the life He gave you... And no one knows. And the ones that do, don't understand. Men. I honor you. In your suffering. I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. You are not alone. And there is hope. And there is a way out. It's Good Friday tomorrow. And you know the story. And you know the ending. And you know what happens. And you sing the songs. And you attend the service. And you have heard it all -- maybe you even conduct the service. And you know the stuff -- maybe you've memorized it. You teach it to others. And you believe it. And you're even grateful. Good. That's really good. Really good. And I want to invite you... There is a way out of your prison of shame. Blessings, Belah PS - Seriously. There is a way out.

So... a serious ex-military gent (on his way to becoming a drill sergeant) decided it was time to fix his marriage. Then as a business leader and a leader in the church, people would come to him for marriage advice. Their connection looked good on the outside, but sadly it was lonely. When he started the program, he began to realize maybe he should stop giving marriage advice. He shares in his story how hard, but necessary it was to become humble. Which as, Andrew Murray says, is the chief sin -- all others flow from it. Murray goes on to say, if you think you don't struggle with pride, sadly, you do more than those who are at least aware of it. We all have to fight against pride. Steve decided to take on that challenge. (Maybe his military background helped?) And he decided to listen and deeply consider if his heart, perceptions, and approach have been wrong in his marriage. He not only became humble, but he also became teachable and asked the Lord to change him from the inside. And that caused him to lead as God designed. Well, God is faithful... and did that. And when we seek first His Kingdom -- it's possible He changes things in our world as well (not guaranteed... but what IS guaranteed is we will see eternal riches though!) Steve ended up being so grateful for what God did through the Masculinity Reclaimed program. Before, he admitted that he would feel jealous of his own children because his wife gave them so much attention, affection, and pursuit and he was left with less than crumbs. Now, things have shifted SO much that she pursues him! And he LOVES being around his kids now. He said he feels he is the father they need. He said this program has ultimately changed the trajectory of all 5 of their lives because it has changed their father and the home they grow up in. It's a story in which you'll be inspired and challenged and encouraged. If God can do it for Steve, He really can do it for you. (And Steve's wife didn't do the work... in fact, she didn't even know he took the program! Seriously, it can happen for you too. Have hope. God does miracles still!) Blessings, Belah PS - The only way to get into this program is through a selection process called a Clarity Call. It is free, however, it takes a lot from our team and is a true gift to the one who signs up. If you are ready like Steve was, make the call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc We work with wives in a separate program and God does amazing things there too! delightyourmarriage.com/cc --- A different, recent graduate wrote: BEFORE the DYM program: I didn't enjoy time with her, intimacy was not passionate, physical touch was lacking, we didn't have a connection anymore besides being parents to the same kids. Every day was a struggle, and I often avoided my wife because I wanted to protect myself from attacks AFTER the DYM program: I have rediscovered joy! I am the leader of the home, in terms of mood, spiritual life, finances, relationships, everything. And by leading my house, my wife will become the partner I need and the woman she was created to be. I've become the man my wife trusts, someone she can talk to openly and at length. We enjoy each other's company again & look forward to spending time together. Physical intimacy is no longer a chore, but a way to connect in addition to frequent non-sexual touch. This program is so incredible, it has changed the trajectory of my household forever. " (Wife didn't know he did the program). Let's see if we can help YOU just like this! Sign up now, it's worth it: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

"Unbelievable." (ie: There's no way that's true.) That's how he felt when he heard the transformation stories. He was in a place of desperation. Being in the marriage felt like a chore. But that glimmer of hope that kept him listening to the transformation stories made him wonder if he should take the leap of faith and schedule the free Clarity Call ( delightyourmarriage.com/cc ) Well, he did. His wife didn't know. We don't make these stories up. Maybe your marriage could be next. We invite you to schedule a free, no obligation call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. What do you have to lose? This could permanently change your life. From a graduate: "After 36 years of marriage and being 'settled' (or maybe complacent?) in the rhythm of our relationship, I figured something along the lines of, 'Well, for us this must be as good as it's going to get!' Now, two months and eight modules later, my feeling is, 'If it can be this good already, and I still have four modules to go, where are we going from here?'"

There are so many people I wish I could help when I meet them at the playground, park, at a party... so here it is. Marriage can be tough. VERY tough. And there is a dearth of helpful insight nowadays. My content is focused towards people who follow the teachings of Jesus. But I really want to give you help because, from one perspective, we may not even be able to ask the hard philosophical questions about "is there a God?" or "what is Truth?" if we're bogged down with so much emotional pain in our marriage. So, I tried my best in this episode to give you a roadmap at a very high level of how to rescue your relationship. Whether you follow the teachings of Jesus or not. (Yes, all my training is based on that, but I want to HELP you... so I invite you to listen in because I am very practical.) Maybe you want to stay married because of the kids (good for you!) or you really can't afford a divorce, or you want to keep the commitment you made however many years ago, or you have the slightest bit of hope that you could get back to what you had at first or... fill in the blank. So, how do you do that when your partner has hurt you in so many ways? Well, in this episode, I talk about what husbands need to feel filled up in marriage, and what wives need to feel filled up in marriage. And when you or your spouse is missing this, it is painful and "hurt people, hurt people". So your spouse reacts by hurting you too. I also talk about the very first step you must take, otherwise, your marriage won't be able to grow. I also uproot a cliche and very harmful marital habit. EXTREMELY harmful, if you want to stay married. And most of all I want you to have hope that it can change and that it's worth you putting in the work (yet again) to see to it that your kids have a solid and safe family to grow up in. Love & Blessings, Belah PS - To help you determine the current health of your marriage, take this free assessment at delightyourmarriage.com/health PPS - If you want help in your marriage, click here to schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc A recent graduate of a Delight Your Marriage program said: BEFORE: "No hope of anything beyond glorified roommates. We were lacking in communication, vulnerability, trust, emotional connectedness and of course physical intimacy." [We had a sexless marriage]. AFTER: That she has initiated love-making multiple occasions. We made love 3 days in a row on our anniversary trip and twice in a row on a recent work trip. I feel like I have a system or structure—a way forward—to a better marriage. Whereas before I felt lost, hopeless and stuck. I have loved the program! ... I cannot believe its been 13 weeks!!! WHAT?!" Sign up for a Clarity Call to see if this is right for you! delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Their marital intimacy never seemed to be right. Early on, they struggled with infertility and then a heartbreaking miscarriage. God did give them a baby (praise God!), and then that was another layer of challenge. But she couldn't seem to get intimacy "right." And she knew he wasn't satisfied. And that was a big dig to her confidence. Consistently. Which impacted their relationship. She decided to take the brave step and schedule the Clarity Call (with wonderful Dana). But even just on that call, she felt so heard and cared for. And had a twinkle of hope. Now... She sees sex as pure and good. She already knew that. But somehow, through this work, it went from head to heart. She felt so encouraged by the community. And finally had a judgment-free zone to deeply share. Now she has gotten a great sense of freedom that she didn't have previously, and even encourages adventure in intimacy -- why not!? May Rose's story encourage you. There is hope for you, too. Our team is praying for you and we hope this episode leaves you with encouragement and hope that it can happen for you, too. Love, Belah Here's where you can sign up for a free, non-scary Clarity Call with super kind and friendly Dana at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. From another program graduate: BEFORE the program: "I wanted to leave the marriage or die." AFTER the program: "We are making each other the happiest we have ever been."

If you're a wife...this podcast is dynamite! Wow, I just gotta say...thank You, Lord, for giving our dear Belah such wise insight and for her willingness, humility, and surrender to keep sharing the powerful things that You give her to share with all of us! After listening to this podcast, I feel like I just got a feast at a banquet table! This is a message that empowers our God-given role as wives, breaks it down in simple, yet incredibly insightful and inspiring ways, AND enlarges the vision for the Kingdom of God and how our role as wives plays such a vital role in it all. I truly hope and pray that this podcast speaks to and encourages your heart as it did mine. This will be one of my favorites that gets repeated many times over! Thank you, Belah! Thank You, Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit for Your work in Your people and the incredible love You have for all of us that You show us the way to abundant life...and it is all though an intimate walk with you...a TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP with The King of Kings and Lord of Lords! What an amazing gift! Gratefully, Darcy PS The resource Belah mentioned is available at https://delightmarriage.lpages.co/boundaries-in-sex/ PPS If you'd like to schedule a free Clarity Call, we invite you to do so at delightyourmarriage.com/cc A Delighted Wife client quote: "I'm so happy that I fought for this marriage. We are much better together than apart. We are an amazing team!" When asked if she would recommend the program: "Yes! It works! It has transformed my crummy life to an amazing happy fulfilled life."

My goal today is to inspire a curious heart. Could God have really designed men and women differently? Could your differences truly be HIS design? Could it be that "in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female he created them." Gen 1:27 Could your husband's member be God-designed? Could it be that sex is God-designed? Could there be a reason God's boundaries around this gift are all over the Bible? Could loving your husband well (loving your husband the way he receives love) bring God glory? Love & Blessings, Belah PS -- This is a free Marital Health Assessment to find out how healthy your marriage is in emotional, physical and spiritual intimacy: delightyourmarriage.com/health PPS -- A recent grad wrote: BEFORE: "Not feeling loved by each other. Disconnected hearts (emotionally, spiritually, and physically). Going to bed feeling hurt almost every night. Fighting a lot, even in front of the kids." AFTER: "Forgiven her. Relearned to appreciate all that she is (and make sure she knows). Learned how to protect her heart (make her feel safe). Re-committed to getting to know and cherishing her. In general, feeling close with her on all levels again, which is the outcome I seeking and expected. Though the changes in the bedroom, which were not really my purpose in this, have been beyond my imagination." If you'd like to work in a program (for husbands or wives), your next step is a free Clarity Call.

God gives us opportunities to change all the time. Change the way we think, the way we are, the way we understand the world. And it saddens me when so many of us choose to assume this is as good as it gets and that we're not going to be able to do anything to make it better. Nothing in the world has ever improved with that kind of thinking. Ever. To me, that's a very negative mindset called "wallowing." I think it's childish, in fact. (I say that with conviction because I've been there far too often myself!) I think God wants us to take our power back, stand on our own feet, and decide to improve what we are discontent about. Yes, there are sad and bad things going on in the world. But as followers of Jesus, we DO something about it. We link arms with a mission or organization doing the work that needs to be done, like the Good Samaritan picking up the beaten man and paying for him to get better at the inn. He didn't start his own inn, he paid someone else to do the work that needed to be done. He partnered with someone to help this man get better. We have the opportunity to change things for the better, all the time. So, in your marriage, you need to do one or the other: 1 - Use discontentment to motivate you to change your marriage Delight Your Marriage can help with this! Look at us like the "inn". You don't have to create something from scratch; we know how to fix it, by God's grace. Join a program and use your discontentment to change the whole thing! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc) OR 2 - Choose to no longer be discontent, and instead, be grateful for what you have and live in God's purposes in other areas of your life. You may be quite surprised that things get better as you choose a life of contentment and purpose in God's will. Ultimately, take responsibility for your heart and what you choose to meditate on. Don't be a "Discontent Debbie" or a "Wallowing Walter!" It's not what God has for you. And I think it has eternal consequences... Be a wise gardener of your mind and heart, so that you can have a life and joy that brings honor to Jesus. Blessings, Belah PS - Would you like to improve your marriage? Are you willing to let the Lord grow in you more of His love, grace, and power in your most important human relationship? Would you like our help? If so, schedule a free Clarity call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc To fan the flame of hope, a quote from one of our program graduates: "DYM [Delight Your Marriage] has been a great blessing to our marriage! After several years of feeling "stuck" in patterns in our marriage that left both of us feeling alone, hurt, unheard, and without much hope of any real and lasting change, I have found the material, ministry culture, and most importantly, the faith at work through the team of DYM to be exactly what I needed to take real steps of faith in practical ways that mattered to my wife and our marriage."

Hi, dear sisters. My husband felt inspired to share some thoughts with you. Actually, I was trying to communicate something to wives that I just kept re-recording and re-recording and I just couldn't get it right. So I brought in the big guns. Yes... my husband is here to communicate what I couldn't. I invite you to see how to CATCH what may be most important for you to hear. May God work in your heart as you listen so that you will remember what He wants you to hear through this. Love, Belah PS - If you are ready to find out how healthy your marriage is, I invite you to find out through this free resource: Marital Health Assessment: delightyourmarriage.com/health PPS - If you're ready to transform your marriage, join a free Clarity Call (it's such a blessing) at delightyourmarriage.com/cc Recent Delight Your Marriage program graduate's testimonial: "After listening to the podcasts for a couple of years, I had hope that this might be a source of real change. But now that I have participated in MR [Masculinity Reclaimed], I can say that my hopes at the beginning have been greatly exceeded... In my experience, DYM [Delight Your Marriage] is one of the most Christ-honoring and Spirit-empowered ministries that I have benefited from after following Jesus for 26 years. DYM would be the first ministry I would recommend to transform a marriage in a real and lasting way."

Roy was married 25 years with 5 kids. And they had a good marriage. They love the Lord and seek to serve Him with all. Intimacy was tough though. And every time he brought it up, she would get defensive, or feel like she wasn't good enough, or like he'll never be satisfied. Anyone else feel that way? He had heard about Masculinity Reclaimed for a couple of years and finally decided it was time. He kept hitting a wall. And if you're in that place, I want you to know... It's legitimate that issues around intimacy hurt. They hurt deeply. But Roy got to a place where trying to change her wasn't working. And so, he decided it was time to look at himself. He knew going into the program if he let his wife know, in the beginning, she would put many, many more walls up... So, he decided to go forward without her knowing. Because, as he said, this was a coaching program FOR HIM. He had to talk to someone. It was either therapy or a coaching program. (And he said she doesn't really like therapy either). Anyway... that's where things started. But, in 12 weeks, God did something amazing. If you're a man looking/grasping for hope and/or you want the tools for changing your marriage, I invite you to listen. If you're a woman who will listen with a curious heart to find out how men really feel about intimacy, I invite you to listen. Love & Blessings, Belah PS - Would you like to work on your side of your marriage? I invite you to sign up for a free Clarity Call here at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. PPS - How healthy is your marriage, really? Take the free Marital Health Assessment here! delightyourmarriage.com/health Quote from a Masculinity Reclaimed Graduate: "I've learned so much, your course helped me figure out so many things I've been struggling with in my life and I've really been able to make sense of pain and emotions that I haven't figured out until now. There are many more great things that have come from doing your course!"

Is what you're doing in your marriage right now working for you? Do you feel hopeless? Are you lonely in your marriage? If you believed that your actions alone could make a difference, if you knew the tools to use to make a difference in your marriage, would you be willing to use them? Tom's story is inspiring and is not unique to graduates of Delight Your Marriage programs. Praise God, the tools given to married individuals through our programs have moved so many marriages into places of hope, joy, and a much greater degree of the abundant life that God wants for us to live out as His people. It is not easy. It requires us to have humility, faith in what God can do with a yielded obedient heart, perseverance, and a desire to please our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. If any of this resonates with you, we invite you to sign up for a free Clarity Call right here. We hope that Tom's story gives you hope that marriage could be more and motivates you to a willingness to do the work of building a better marriage and family...as much as it depends on you. Love and prayers, Darcy (on behalf of Belah) Quote from a Graduate: "The MR [Masculinity Reclaimed] program was the best thing I've ever done for my marriage, hands down! Wish I'd taken it years ago. Just amazing to see the work God can do in a person's heart, if that person is willing to do the work and make the changes needed. I hope everyone who goes through the program tells their friends about it. I for one will be spreading the news about DYM [Delight Your Marriage]!! Why wouldn't I, when it changed my life??"

Is there dignity in humility? Is there dignity in humiliation? Initially, you might think not. But then we have to take a moment to consider the cross. An excruciating death, reserved not for Roman citizens, but for rebels and slaves... because it was SO SO humiliating. And yet, the God of glory, the One who DESERVES all glory and honor... HUMILIATED Himself not only to come as a baby, giving up His power, constraining Himself to human form, and giving up His rights in an infinite number of ways... to then suffer the humiliation, the pain... for the joy set before Him. Not because we deserved it, ...but because it is a testament to HIS surrender to the Father's will that He endured the cross. This is why you are humble and a servant to your spouse, ...because humility is the VERY dignity of Jesus. Humility is what Jesus Himself modeled. Why do you close your mouth when you want to criticize your spouse? Why do you pause instead of, "let them have it," when they deserve to be dressed down for their bad behavior? Why do you go out of your way to make them feel special, even though they haven't done it for you? Why do you forgive them for the pain they have caused you? Why are you joyful even though they don't add to it in the ways they know you'd love? Because you are walking in the humility that Jesus Himself invites you to. Every single day, in your marriage, you are invited to walk in His humility. What does humility look like? Jesus. Was He a pushover? No. Was He passive? No. But was He an extravagant servant? Most definitely. So, are there boundaries to humility? Yes. I invite you to have a curious heart if God has something for you here. I reference the book "Humility," by Andrew Murray, a lot in this episode. I also reference the Bible a lot. (I highly recommend it :) Love & Blessings, Belah PS - Have you already downloaded our intimacy framework so that you can love your spouse the way they receive love? If not, go to delightyourmarriage.com/framework PPS - Are you ready to be the spouse God has called you to be, but need some guidance about what that looks like? To schedule a free Clarity Call, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see if our programs could be what you need. A Graduate's Testimonial: "I would recommend this program to a fellow Christian who is looking to make their marriage better in all aspects. The intimacy aspect is important but there were so many other ideas and realizations around other ways to better my marriage. I appreciate so much Belah's enthusiasm and honesty. There is a lot of great info and expertise in here. She did an amazing job propping guys up and being positive which was infectious!"

"It's my spouse who needs to change." If you've said this or thought this...you are right. So now, no need to listen to anything because there's nothing for you to do but wait around in a grumpy mood 'til your spouse decides to do something. :) Maybe there's another opportunity here. Maybe we can be (as our team member Kyle says) "playfully curious" about this response. Why do we assume it's all on our spouse? What questions are we... a-refusing to ask b-unaware that we need to be asking c-too distracted to think about it :) (Oh, was that your email/TikTok/IG/Facebook/text message notification that just went off? :P ) Today's episode is to help you honestly look at where your marriage is, and discern if and how your partner is the issue. And, if and how, with playful curiosity, you might have an opportunity in your situation, as well! Love & Blessings, Belah PS If you want to see if we can help you in your marriage and honestly evaluate where you can work in your marriage, we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call by clicking here. Quote from Masculinity Reclaimed Graduate: "I have spent much more money trying to rekindle my marriage with no results. I have 2 failed "Romantic Vacations" and a bathroom remodel to prove it. I spent less on this and had fantastic results. This might possibly be the best investment of my life."

This episode was back from the very beginning of 2019. Wow! It's STILL relevant. And even when I re-listened, I was struck by a specific exercise that put life in great perspective. I encourage you to do the same -- for God's glory to ultimately be experienced in your marriage, family, and life! In the long view of your 100 years on earth, what is going to matter in THIS season? I had an abrupt and unsettling realization when I had a parent-teacher conference a few weeks ago. Though I believe I was discerning God's will and way for my life, I don't believe I was pursuing it in God's timing. And that is one of the central themes around today's podcast. What is your season (mine is a quarter inch) in the grand scheme of life? And what matters most right now? From there, what do you do with that understanding? How does it become practical and lived out? Blessings, Belah PS If you'd like to see if we can help you in your marriage, we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call here. From a Masculinity Reclaimed graduate: "My confidence with my wife is now enabling me to be her rock much more effectively. (Before DYM [Delight Your Marriage] I would often blame myself and pull away when we had disagreements). Thank you and Belah and the whole Team for being there!! God specifically used MR 1 [Masculinity Reclaimed] and 2 [MR Graduate group] to transform me into a much better man and husband in a way I did not think possible!"

This was meant to be a light & encouraging holiday podcast episode. Then, it turned into a heavy and warning-type episode. You'll be around souls this holiday. Souls, that maybe you don't feel fully at peace with. Souls, that maybe you have been wronged by. Souls, that maybe you still feel the sting of the pain they inflicted on you. This is spoken for no specific person...except, definitely for me. Also, maybe for all of those I work with. And maybe every person who has ever told me about their marriage struggles. And maybe everyone else I know, too. So, yeah... take this one personally. May God stir His truth in you. This is the good news: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." This is the terrifying truth... "But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Jesus said this in the gospel of Matthew 6:15 (NIV). Here's the deal... I follow Jesus and need Him to save me. I NEED him to forgive me. And according to that verse, if I don't forgive others... I have no hope of eternal salvation. May that sober us up this holiday to forgive every person, every single one. So, I needed to hear this. And, I NEED to live this in EVERY single relationship. It's a command. I needed to be reminded of it. I hope you did, too. Love you with great love -- in courage and integrity, Belah PS -- If you'd like to see what more God wants to do in your marriage, sign up for a free Clarity Call delightyourmarriage.com/cc

This was originally published a while back--but we highly recommend you listen again as you're praying through and discerning what God has for you in the new season of 2023. … I love New Years because everything feels fresh and energized. Even though, practically speaking, it's the same as every other day, you just have to start training yourself to use a new number at the end of your dates. But I am all about using whatever energy there is to increase my chances of growth and change--in God's will. So, that's what today's podcast is about--becoming stronger in your vision. It's about realizing that you're going to stand before Jesus and He'll be curious what you did with your days…which lead to weeks…which lead to years, and then decades. We must be cautious about how we spend our time and spend it in priority to God's will. I will show you the specific document I have used since 2013 and review at least quarterly to align my life with how I perceive God wants me to live. I will also discuss the process I use to discern God's will for my life every quarter. I think we need to be considering God's will consistently in our lives and move toward it more and more everyday. I think you'll love the conversation and I look forward to hearing from you! Blessings, Belah PS If you'd like the free resource I mentioned to help you understand how to love your spouse the way they are craving, go to delightyourmarriage.com/framework PPS If you'd like help in your marriage, you are invited to schedule a free Clarity Call here. This call is invaluable in helping you to examine and evaluate where you currently are in your marriage and whether or not our courses could be helpful to you. From a Clarity Call participant who decided not to take the course(s):: "Thank you and thanks for your guys' help. I honestly couldn't have done it without the help of the podcast and just our talk opens my eyes up to what God wants for me and what direction and guidance he is showing me so thank you so so much!"

This is the next part of Communication Secrets and I think it's an important addendum. We talk about what to do when you're disappointed with your spouse. When you want them to change. When you feel they were irresponsible. I have two examples for you: 1 - When a friend was irresponsible and God brought conviction even when He kept me from saying anything. 2 - When I was irresponsible (I know---unbelievable!) and God brought conviction even when my husband didn't say anything. I hope this brings you encouragement, direction, and skills as you attempt to live God's way in your marriage. Love, Belah PS - If you'd like to see if our programs would be a good fit for you in helping you grow in your marriage, we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call. From a Masculinity Reclaimed graduate: "For the first time EVER we had whole-hearted sexual intimacy, 2 or 3 times total. This was something that I had no idea even existed and it was barely believable. It was so amazing. We haven't argued in months. Based on a DYM [Delight Your Marriage] podcast that I listened to before starting MR [Masculinity Reclaimed], I began the process of responding in ways that fully prevented arguments, so it's been more than 12 weeks without an argument. That was a massive game-changer for me and our relationship. God has called me to a far deeper level with His word than ever before. The Holy Spirit has downloaded significant insight regarding how to love. This was done as a combination of scripture, DYM [Delight Your Marriage], and clarity provided during prayer."

… So much stress revolves around communication. I've been there! My husband and I have miscommunications everyday. Today, for example, I was telling him about a sore in my mouth and he was sure I was talking about Europe. That is silly and allowed for laughter. But what about when someone is lost and just hoping for the other to quickly look up directions. Or, when you're in a stressful situation, and one of you is incomprehensible (to you). Well, I want to invite you to reframe what good communication is. I want to invite you to consider what really matters in communication with your spouse. I try to debunk some unhelpful cliches: "Your spouse should be your best friend," or "You have to be compatible with someone to be happy," or "If you don't connect on common interests, you'll die a miserable, lonely, painful death." Alright, that last one isn't a cliche I've heard! (but maybe have felt?) Let's get some fun back in our lives and let miscommunication be the fodder! Blessings, Belah PS If you need immediate help in your marriage and you've seen some changes from podcasts so far, now is the time to let that inertia grow into long term transformation with training and tailored support. So if that's what you need, get on the phone with a Clarity Advisor and they'll see if we are the right fit for your situation: delightyourmarriage.com/cc Quote from a Masculinity Reclaimed graduate: "I just wanted to thank you again for your help in building the intimacy [my wife] and I have discovered. Last night [my wife] wore lingerie, was passionate, and we had amazing sex. You played a huge part in helping us get there. In a thankless world, I want to give you a big high five and thank you for all of your insight."

Since Thanksgiving is coming up and we're around people we love, but sometimes have strained relationships. We wanted to repost this episode so you can apply it to your family relationships and your spouse. We love you and wish you a peaceful and grateful-filled Thanksgiving!! … Sometimes we look at our blowups and wonder -- how did we even get here? How did a wrong turn, an unpaid bill, an unwashed dish, or a burnt potholder... turn into World War III? What happened here? And why is this kind of nonsense tearing our family apart at its foundations? It's because you're not really fighting about a potholder. You're fighting about all the unmet expectations from the years and years of pain you've experienced. And so is your spouse. How do you get out of this cycle? And more important: what does Jesus require of you in this cycle? What does it matter in eternity whether or not you succumb to these kinds of blow ups? Well, my goal is to give you a bit of fear of the Lord to decide you are going to be a real follower of Jesus and the blow ups aren't gonna fly. I hope you'll listen in with an open heart and a desire to grow and be edified. And ultimately a desire to grow closer to God's will for you. Blessings, Belah PS - Two things: 1 - If you haven't yet checked, there are a ton of helpful free resources here: delightyourmarriage.com/free 2 - If you need immediate help, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc to get a free Clarity Call where someone from my team will speak to you deeply about your specific situation and see if we can help. If it can happen for others, it could happen for you, too! From a MR graduate: "We have prayed, we have read books, we have listened to podcast, and we have sought counseling, both individually and as a couple. They sometimes produce a little hope but we repeatedly fall back into old habit cycles. I needed to try something different. This program provides a different approach through a team coaching framework. I wanted different strategies and individually focused feedback. I have become a better person. Period. I am more patient, kind, loving, gentle. I am actively seeking the Fruits of the Spirit in practical behaviors. I am more forgiving and less apt to be offended. My wife SMILES AT ME OFTEN WHEN I WALK IN THE ROOM. We have more laughter and playfulness in our home. She holds my hand and cuddles with me. She tells me with her words and shows me with her behaviors that she enjoys making love to me."

Often preparing for Thanksgiving is the real STRESS. So -- guess what!? Make love now, so you have a connected, peaceful, and truly enjoyable Thanksgiving next week. ... Duty sex…this is such a huge challenge for SO many couples - on both sides of the aisle! Husbands and wives, how does our personal approach to sexual intimacy affect our spouse? Does sexual intimacy within our marriage lead us toward one another or away from one another? And if it often or sometimes leads us away from each other, is that our Creator's intention? How do we fix this? Can it be fixed? The fact of the matter is, the answers to these questions can be hard to come by! There just isn't a lot of guidance out there for couples who want a God-honoring sexual relationship in their marriage! If sexual intimacy is a gift from our Creator - and we know that ALL of His gifts are good - then why is this area of our lives so often filled with hurt and pain? Does it really matter whose fault it is? Playing the blame game doesn't fix the problem, does it. Can one spouse change the dynamics in our marriages? YES - a thousand times, YES!! We've seen it! We've experienced it! Here at Delight Your Marriage, God has blessed Belah with a lot of really good advice and encouragement for couples in this specific arena. Yes! There are principles that we can learn and apply to help us grow in our relationships - not just in the area of sexual intimacy, but in the overall connection within our marriage. This is what Delight Your Marriage is all about! Okay, now this is THE bonus piece of information here that we hope you don't miss because it can be cliche or common to our ears: THE key of loving others well is to be filled up with Jesus' love and to lean into loving Him well! He IS love! As we grow in His love, the fruit of the Spirit becomes more abundant in OUR lives! I Cor. 14:1 "Pursue love…" Would you pause right there and snatch that and think on it for a bit? I'm dead serious! You know, we're similar to a tree. Have you seen a branch on a tree that is partly broken off? What does the branch generally look like? A lot of times the leaves are shriveling up, right? The health of the branch is directly correlated to how well the branch is connected to the trunk of the tree. Are we feeling shriveled up? Are we feeling unfruitful? Are we struggling to experience the abundant life that Jesus has offered to us? …That's a good gauge that we need to check our attachment to The Vine. Do you need some guidance, accountability, and encouragement to grow in these areas? We want to help you! ... We are not currently offering a free men's course, as this is a repost of this episode, but we do invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call with our course advisor. This is an opportunity for you to be heard...to share your story, to evaluate where you are in your marriage and life journey, and whether or not our courses may be the right fit for you or not. We love you and wish you a peaceful and grateful-filled Thanksgiving!! On behalf of Belah and the rest of our team, Darcy Office Manager PS From a Masculinity Reclaimed graduate: "Today my wife and I celebrate our … Anniversary, and thanks be to God our marriage is better than it has ever been. As I sat this morning writing my daily gratitude's and LTP's (going strong), I am overcome with gratitude for how helpful your ministry has been. Going through the program last fall was truly one of the most transformational hinge times in my life - first drawing myself closer to the Lord, and only from that coming first did we experience some unbelievable changes in our marriage. By Gods grace, we've always had a "good" marriage - free from major issues or troubles, but since have learned how wonderful God really intends for this union to be. Ups and downs persist, they always will, but DYM has helped show me the tools & knowledge to navigate them and have a thriving and God honoring marriage. I am forever thankful for DYM. Thank you for following your calling and your dedication. Have a wonderful weekend and God bless!!!" We share these testimonies because God is SO good and He wants good in your marriage, too! We want to inspire hope and faith in you! Nothing is too difficult for Him!

(Alliteration is such a... joy--isn't it? :) Hoping that gave you a needed chuckle... But seriously... Mick's story is GREAT! He is a dynamic, charismatic, and tell-it-straight kinda guy. When his marriage was shallow in terms of connection, emotionally and intimately, he jumped at an opportunity that seemed on target. Well, the MAIN change was his heart. He shares some particulars on why that was so vital in the outward changes of his marriage. But, he began to realize who God actually is calling him to be as a husband. So... with lots of smiling he shared that they enjoyed (like never before...ever) "full-blown, wholehearted sexual intimacy...truly unbelievable." Mick's transformation is truly awesome. But he really took responsibility. He wasn't interested in waiting to see what happens in his marriage. He was ready to do the work and take 100% responsibility AND accountability for himself. His heart…his change…his commitment to Christ, and then…living it out in his marriage. Is there hope for you? Yes! We serve "the God of hope." (Rom 15:13) In fact, He wants you to "overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Same verse ^) I encourage you to listen to Mick's story and witness God's transformation in him. Maybe you need this. Maybe a friend does…and you get to be the one to share it with them (like a friend shared it with his wife, and thus God did THIS in his marriage AND HIS KIDS!!!!) Love & Blessings, Belah PS -- We'd love to see if we can serve you in a Clarity Call where you dig into your specific journey and we help you clarify the challenges, where you're going, and WHY. And if we genuinely feel you'd be the right fit, we might invite you in (our Clarity Advisor is reimbursed regardless of the end result -- because this is truly our gift to you.) Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc Quote from a graduate: So... with lots of smiling he shared that they enjoyed (like never before...ever)... "full-blown, wholehearted sexual intimacy...truly unbelievable."

If you've ever seen a headline (one of mine or someone else's), "They did [this] and got [this]" you may have experienced a "transactional trigger". My motivation is to attract people who need transformation in their marriages. What I call "missional marketing", some may call "bait and switch", which is kind of true, too. You may be someone who came for a certain outcome, but you listened and found out that to get that [thing], you have to change who you are - including your motivations. For many, it works (by God's grace). But, initially, it may have triggered transactional thinking for you. This can lead you to believe that you're guaranteed a certain result if you do [X] for your spouse. Here's what I hope for you. I hope that you'll start your journey with an expectation of an incredible marriage and sex life and end your journey with a completely different set of motivations: to love your spouse the way Jesus loves them. Unconditionally. Whether they do X or not, you get to love them the way Jesus does. The cool thing is... Humans are designed to respond very differently to unconditional love. Humans heal. Humans let down their guard. Humans start to act differently when they know the rug won't be pulled out from under them at any moment. The desperation ends. Peace and freedom begin. And marriage can become pretty amazing. BUT your motivation should be to love your spouse unconditionally and enjoy--every moment--every smile--every laugh--every miscommunication--every peculiar habit--enjoy life alongside this wonderful God-designed being you get to love. Blessings, Belah PS If you would like help in your marriage, we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call with our course advisor. We truly care about you and your marriage and this call will help us and you evaluate if we can help you in your marriage. Schedule a free Clarity Call here. For the free resources, click here. PPS From a graduate: "It has transformed my relationship with my wife and with my coworkers and those I supervise. It has given me tools to listen and pray better and got me into the habit of daily gratitude. Every married man, regardless of how healthy or unhealthy your marriage, will benefit from the MR [Masculinity Reclaimed] program."

I used to think I only respected someone if they deserved it. Whether that was my husband or the young adults I worked with. Which meant I didn't treat them with respect. Maybe not blatant disrespect as I saw it. But more neutral. Though I have come to find out "neutral" is generally not good. My natural tendency if I don't have the correct heart (that God created everyone and they should be treated with respect) is being mean. Maybe it's our human nature? Anyway, what I discovered is if I'm trying to tell my husband what's best for him, how he should improve, or what to do... He's busy being mad at me rather than listening to the Holy Spirit and discovering his own journey to growth. (We want our husbands to be the spiritual leaders right? Then we've gotta stop being their spiritual leader. ​​And give them the space and support and encouragement to do it for themselves.) But he was so untrustworthy. Inconsistent. Unhelpful. Unreliable. Irresponsible. And worse... I was doing everything and unless I would nag, push, correct, complain, teach, criticize... it wouldn't get done. I was so exhausted. It wasn't until I decided to 1-​​forgive ​and no longer hold his past over his head---let him be a new man in my eyes, ​ 2-​let God change my heart according to His will, ​ 3-​change my words, and ​ 4-​behave respectfully... Did I witness my husband transform. And He changed without my "brilliantly helpful" input. I also speak to women who have experienced betrayal in the form of pornography, an affair or something else. My heart breaks for you. I would love to hold you in your legitimate anger and pain. And I want to give some guidance on what I think is helpful next steps. I encourage you to listen with an open heart and see if God has a nugget of wisdom that you need in your life. Blessings, Belah PS If you need immediate help, please schedule a Clarity Call ($300 value) for free at delightyourmarriage.com/cc A Clarity Advisor will walk through your specific situation with you and help discern if this is the right fit for you to witness God's transformation of your marriage. delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS From a Delight Your Marriage wife: "It's been so amazing! I still call it a rollercoaster, because there are ups and downs, but the ups are way more than the downs now and that's a huge win! I honestly was at a place where I didn't like my husband a lot of the times... I now WANT to spend time with him, miss him when we're apart, initiate intimacy, and enjoy intimacy!"

When I look back on my life — when I see what is currently unseen — when I see Jesus face to face — when all has been revealed… I am convinced I will be BLOWN AWAY by the love I never realized He truly had for me. In the Bible, it says that God feeds the birds. (Mt 6:26) He FEEDS the birds. I was observing birds yesterday in the park. There are tons of them, flitting around, this way and that. And yet the God of the universe cares about His creation, so much so, that He Himself feeds the birds! He is intimately aware of your life and what you're going through. And He is feeding you. He is clothing you. He is giving you far more than just that. He wants you to realize that in every good AND in every suffering, He remains good. There is SO much you (and I) cannot see. He allows suffering for His reasons only He can see. But when you trust this truth that He is the one that gives everything that is right in your life — it allows you to see the suffering better. You can endure the suffering with a peace, a joy, and a contentment that is important. In fact, when you have that peace/joy/contentment during the suffering, you will accomplish at least some of the important purposes He has for that suffering. Make no mistake, God cares about your suffering. God cares about the rejection you feel from your spouse. He cares about your loneliness in the one supposedly "safe relationship" – your marriage. He cares about the lack of intimacy. He cares about the lack of warmth. He cares when your spouse ignores the cravings of your soul that you were designed to have. He cares. And IN THIS He is good. If we only knew how much He truly loved you… He would risk you possibly turning away from him due to that suffering because He has bigger purposes. Remember… Higher than the heavens are above the earth are His ways higher than our ways, are His thoughts higher than our thoughts. We do NOT have to understand. We DO have to trust His goodness. That starts with realizing, if the God of the Universe feeds each of these birds, that means he makes each of my breaths happen, each of my blood vessels moves when they are meant to. It means He causes my son to smile at me. It means He causes my eyes to even see the sunset. It means that He not only knit me together in my mother's womb for 9 to 10 months… But He didn't stop. He is still in me. He is still designing, directing, causing all these things to go well in me. EVERY good gift is from Him. Even the ones I don't take time to notice. When my arm breaks it should remind me that He was the one that caused it to thrive every other day. If we only soaked in the truth of His love, we could more easily trust it during the suffering… He is still good. If we only knew His love. If we only knew His love. If we only knew His love. May you know the love of Christ. May I know it, too. Love & Blessings, Belah PS If you would like help with your marriage, we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call with our advisor. This call allows us to help you evaluate where you are in your marriage, and whether or not we are a good fit for you. Click here to schedule a free call. PPS When a graduate of Masculinity Reclaimed (MR) was asked: Do you recommend MR? "I do far more than recommend it, I advocate for it and fortunately one couple has joined both MR [Masculinity Reclaimed] and DW [Delighted Wife] as a result. Why - because MR is filled with lots of explanations of what and why things need to occur, but it's also very heavy on HOW to do things, which is missing from all other marriage content out there. Plus, Belah's insight is extraordinary. When she was describing in podcasts about why men enjoy oral sex I stopped and remarked to myself, that's 1000% correct. I never thought about it, but she's 1000% correct. So the degree to which Belah has insight and understanding into the male and female psyches is extraordinary. Massively improved our marriage. Brought me closer to God. Helped me see my wife in an entirely different way. Set us on a path to healing. Facilitate mind-blowing, real-deal sexual intimacy (aka wholehearted sexual intimacy) and helped me get better at being vulnerable, sharing my vulnerability, and be more sensitized to when my wife is being vulnerable. With more time I can easily think of more things. I never once questioned if what I spent on MR was worth it, because without question it was."

Do you feel broken? Dirty? Ashamed? These are all normal feelings for a victim of sexual trauma. Do you know what feelings Lisa now has? Freedom. Confidence. Trust. One in four, or even one in three women, have been victims of sexual abuse. One in six men have been. So, many of us need the HOPE for healing Lisa gives us. Was it instant? Was it easy to confront? Was it comfortable to start this process? No. She had to have courage to get out and join a healing process to get to the other side where God ultimately wanted her to be. You will love her story and the encouragements she gives. Especially the one and most important thing that she wants you to know, if you've been abused. Love & Blessings, Belah PS - If you'd like to get "vision", the opportunity for "intention" and the "means" to transformation (as Dallas Willard says)... I invite you to sign up for a Clarity Call. You'll work with a Clarity Advisor to discern that vision. delightyourmarriage.com/cc Looking forward to seeing how God heals you!

"Betrayal to a marriage is what dynamite is to a door" says Gary Thomas. Obliterating all trust, safety, dreams... Could there be hope? Could there be restoration? And... How could this have been prevented? This is what we discuss on today's episode. If these are your questions, Gary gives a lot of insight I think you'll want to listen in to. What can you do as a couple to right the ship? What can you as a couple do to come together and see how to build your marriage with strength and solidness -- keeping any explosives far, far away. Check out Gary's work and his new book at garythomas.com -- (also he has many other books that you'll want to check out!) Love & Blessings, Belah PS -- We'd love to help you heal your marriage no matter what the issue is, and if you're looking for a program to come alongside other men and/or women, I invite you to go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc to speak to a Clarity Advisor to see how we can support you. PPS -- A recent grad wrote: "Massively improved our marriage. Brought me closer to God. Helped me see my wife in an entirely different way. Set us on a path to healing. Facilitate mind-blowing, real-deal sexual intimacy... ...filled with lots of explanations of what and why things need to occur, but it's also very heavy on HOW to do things, which is missing from all other marriage content out there. Plus, Belah's insight is extraordinary. I never once questioned if what I spent on MR was worth it, because without question it was." Husband or wife, sign up for a Clarity Call now: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Are you getting close to marriage and the looming thought of a healthy sex life gives anxiety? I invite you to listen in to these two women who were virgins when they got engaged (one is now married) and hear how they processed through the anxiety. And now on the other side of the program, they have a confidence and a relaxed sense around something that used to be very difficult to even think about. Maybe you or someone you know needs insights around marriage and intimacy before they start this journey. I hope this conversation blesses and encourages you! Belah PS -- If you want to see how we can serve you in your particular situation, sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS - A woman in the Delighted Wife program shared this recently: This programme is Christ-centred, led by an amazing loving, wise, compassionate, trustworthy team. They have all 'been there' in marriage challenges themselves so speak with humility and empathy. There's lots of laughter too which is so good. This programme is about sex but so much more. If a person engages and does the work it will be deeply transformational. This may not be in the way they expect... I wish I had this programme just before and in the early years of our marriage.

Enrollment for the program closes tonight, Masculinity Reclaimed delightyourmarriage.com/minvite ----- Today's podcast episode... If perverted masculinity is overly aggressive or on the other side, overly passive... what is it actually SUPPOSED to look like? What is a strong man? What is a true man of God? What is the masculinity God desires of you? That's the topic Kyle and I discuss today. Lots of really fresh ideas, insights, frameworks, and also very, very old ways of viewing the nature of how God designed men. Kyle is super -- you're going to love his insights and heart after the Lord. Gosh, I'm excited for you to hear what it's all about! If you've been praying about our 3-month program, Masculinity Reclaimed... the program CLOSES TONIGHT, if you'd like to join, now is your time... delightyourmarriage.com/minvite

Wow -- God is so good. Men are joining the 3-month program Masculinity Reclaimed because they're ready to become the men that God has called them to be (and as it turns out... that is very attractive to their wives... the results are intimate, as you'll hear.) I want you to listen to these transformation stories (several shortened stories that haven't been on the podcast before, so you can hear what God is doing!) If you're ready to take the leap and say I am going to risk the money and invest the time and effort for the next 3 months to see the results that God is clearly doing in others' lives and marriages I invite you to check out all the details and register here. delightyourmarriage.com/minvite Prayers of hope for you, Belah & Delight Your Marriage team PS -- If you are moved at all by these transformations, I encourage you to check out the details here. delightyourmarriage.com/minvite

Is Jesus the Lord of your life in EVERY area? Are you trusting God in everything except your marriage? Are you saying, "Yes, I will follow," but then when Jesus says to sacrifice for your spouse, that's where you draw the line to do it your own way? Is your emotional intimacy with your spouse in God's hands? Is your spiritual intimacy with your spouse in God's hands? Is your physical intimacy with your spouse in God's hands? Or, have you decided (like I too often do, sadly) "God, in this area, I can do it my way"? God is really interested in your marriage. Your spouse is the closest relationship to you. Whom you can influence the most -- and they influence you the most. So... if you decide to do marriage your own way, that's a big deal. I was recently reminded that when I don't TRUST God, I suffer... often, unnecessarily. When I don't trust God, and I try to do it my own way...the work that God was in the middle of doing -- behind the scenes -- I can ROYALLY mess up! The lesson I invite you to learn from my fumble is: TRUST God in your situation. TRUST God in the way He set up marriage and your role (husband and wife) and witness God move in your emotional spiritual and physical intimacy. He has a way. If you're suffering doing it His way, there is a reward on this side (or the other side) of eternity. But, as I was reminded of, we may suffer because we are doing it OUR way. And I encourage you to make sure you're doing it His way. IMPORTANT: Make sure you ARE doing your marriage and intimacy God's way, so you and your wife don't unnecessarily suffer. (That's the biggest sadness I see with men I work with, they didn't have to suffer, they just didn't know...) This is where I (shamelessly) plug our FREE Masculinity Reclaimed: Foundations course! (Because I know it can help you!) We are in the middle of it, but there's just enough time for you to catch up - if you sign up now. It won't be available much longer -- delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining (Also, if you already know you're going to join the 3-month Masculinity Reclaimed Program, we officially open enrollment Saturday, September 17 -- if you join the first day you get an extra Kick Start training -- where I'd love to spend time walking you through how to "win" MR and get yourself set up for amazing success -- by God's grace. You can join right away here: Masculinity Reclaimed Coaching Program) If you don't need help in your marriage -- will you pray for this free training -- that the men who need hope would sign on and witness God's transformation for many? And most importantly, that each man would draw closer to Jesus. Thank you for your prayers. May God help you to TRUST Him in your specific situation. He continues to teach me, and I hope that encourages you! Love & Blessings, Belah PS -- The free men's training is going away soon. Sign up, and catch up here: delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining

**Masculinity Reclaimed: Foundations course is starting Monday, September 12, 2022 -- it's on-demand training but will only be available for about a week, so register now: delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining** -- I've been posting a lot of resources for men, so this one is for the ladies (and the curious men :) I used to be very confused on what my husband needed from me. A lot of women that I have worked with feel like it comes down to a clean house, hot meals and happy kids. And when that's not enough for him, it feels very unfair. That she is doing ALL of this and he's still grumpy and unsatisfied. She may even have intimacy as a part of their lives, but he still doesn't seem to care. What is missing? Well, it took a while, but by God's grace through trial and error, learning from mentors, books and courses... now I'm at a spot where I can give you the keys I wish I had! And I made it into a handy acronym so it's easy to remember: RAWS. Super simple. But, not easy. See that's God kindness. I've noticed, that in order to love our spouse well, we wives have to deny ourselves and choose to love our God-given assignment (our husband). And that choice, every day, makes us more like Him. He's not like us, he's not designed like us. God made your husband unique and special. And it's my privilege to let you hear from my husband and what he recommends to us. Also, for the curious gents who plan to listen -- he's got some GREAT advice for you too! I hope this blesses you! Love, Belah PS -- Women if you want to go further in this, we have a community of women who support and love each other on this journey to heal their marriage, honor God, and love well. If you're interested to find out if this is right for you, sign up for a Clarity Call and a kind, empathetic Clarity Advisor will listen to your story and be able to give you guidance on your next steps. delightyourmarriage.com/cc PPS -- For the men who want direction for your next steps, join the free Masculinity Reclaimed: Foundations course, which is starting on Monday, September 12, 2022. It's an on-demand training but has lots of interactive bells and whistles. It'll only be available for about a week, so register now! delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining

(My boys make an audio appearance on today's episode). I thought it was appropriate because Robert and I both got choked up towards the end of this interview -- you'll hear why. Robert has more kids than me. Not 2, 3, 4 or 5... He has 7. Robert also has about 7 times more energy than I do. Which is why I'd like him to write a book. (Please, Robert, we all need it.) His wife was actually the one who invited him to Delight Your Marriage. And felt sure he would learn what he needed for her. And... I have got to hand it to her :) I think she was right! But I also have to hand it to Robert, because he totally humbled himself, did the work. Changed himself -- and God did beautiful things in their marriage! I can't wait for you to listen in to their story! If you're a husband -- he gives tons of ideas and thoughts about what you can do to change things. He started his journey with the free training, that we're offering just around the corner -- September 12, 2022. You'll need to be signed up -- you can do so here. Love and Blessings, Belah PS -- You might tear up too. PPS -- Gents, grab a tissue while you sign up for the free training! Or if you're a lady or a gent, and you want to get on a call 1:1 to see how we can help you, you can sign up for a Clarity Call here.