Delight Your Marriage

Part I: If you've felt insecure about yourself, you know the icky feeling that hangs around and corrodes you from the inside. In marriage it's lethal, because you and your spouse are trying to put up a facade and it just brings distance. It robs you both of the connectedness you're meant to share. Today's guest shares how she started out very insecure in her marriage. Conflict would scare her and she felt that if she were honest with him, he'd reject her. Their marriage had a rocky journey and she credits God for bringing them through, otherwise she said they'd probably be divorced. And now they're about to celebrate their 30 year anniversary! Hear how they made it through, and what she's learned. delightyourmarriage.com/138

What You'll Discover: How to surrender to pleasure and feel that entirely Learn to feel you deserve to orgasm Does it make you feel too sexual? Do you feel selfish? Do you feel sex is just for him? How to have a "Discovery Session" with your husband Give yourself permission to learn What daily practices you can do that will help in the moment What ideas you can try in the bedroom to get there delightyourmarriage.com/137

Peace is a vital element to the life God wants for us. If you have strife in your marriage, I have been there and I pray this will give you hope and tools to get it turned around. These are the keys I've learned that have made my marriage so much more peaceful than I ever would have imagined. delightyourmarriage.com/136 ------------------ Belah's book---Delight Your Husband: A Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex---may be the tool God would use to bring light and joy to your marriage bed. If you're at a place of desire for change in intimacy in your marriage--men or women--consider signing up for a free Clarity Call ($500 value!) where you and Belah will dive deep into what's going on in your marriage and help you uncover what is blocking amazing intimacy! From couples that hadn't made love in years to couples who were in an affair--God has brought passion, healing and fun to these marriages! She's currently offering this 40min Clarity Call opportunity to podcast listeners for free! Schedule here.

Part 2: What she thought was just a simple surgery from a chest injury turned into a year of serving and fear and all semblance of control being taken. The threat of her husband's death and his needing constant help shaped her in ways she didn't expect. Julie Dibble has walked a hard road in the most difficult challenge of her marriage. But she remembers a quote "A great work requires a great and careful training". God she believes has trained her through this. But it's not over and she's still fighting to be surrendered to God's plan over her own, every day. Listen in to find inspiration and hope in the journey ahead. Discover the show notes and many more resources at delightyourmarriage.com/135

What she thought was just a simple surgery from a chest injury turned into a year of serving and fear and all semblance of control being taken. The threat of her husband's death and his needing constant help shaped her in ways she didn't expect. Julie Dibble has walked a hard road in the most difficult challenge of her marriage. But she remembers a quote "A great work requires a great and careful training". God she believes has trained her through this. But it's not over and she's still fighting to be surrendered to God's plan over her own, every day. Listen in to find inspiration and hope in the journey ahead. delightyourmarriage.com/134

If you've ever felt like you were the only one not experiencing the ecstasies of sex, you are not alone. I've been there and at least 1/4 of women don't experience orgasm. BUT they can. And today we're talking about how and tips to get you there. It is probably a process but there's a lot of information that will help you get there on this show. Listen in. delightyourmarriage.com/133

Why is amazing intimacy so important? Why should your sex-life be amazing? How do you make your sex life as exciting as it's displayed in our culture? The biggest barrier for women to amazing intimacy Why your attitude matters What your attitude means to your him Actions to take to become sexually free Why it matters to God for you to have an amazing sex life delightyourmarriage.com/132 for the shownotes

She and her husband teach a class to help husbands understand how to love their wife better. Here's her practical advice for men in the bedroom. Ruth Buezis helps men understand women's hearts and their bodies and how those interact. Generally men are expected to be experts in the sex department, but there's so much misinformation and inappropriate stereotypes. She says that men really do want to know what to do. She compares the specific equipment of men's bodies with the female genitalia and shares the parallels in sensation and how to use them. See all the show notes at delightyourmarriage.com/131

Lynn shares in this second half of her interview, about how she healed from the porn addiction of her husband. She says you can forgive an addict too quickly and she tells us what forgiveness really is. She talks about how God walked her through the most challenging time in her life and what changed in her as a result. They survived to 25 years of marriage and it has now become sweet. She also shares sexual intimacy tips that will help any wife...so listen in! Check out delightyourmarriage.com/130 for all the shownotes!

A wife who knew something wasn't right, but she denied that it could be happening in her marriage. For years, she didn't acknowledge what she had found out. But what was bottled was actually eroding her sense of sense of self and eventually she felt like she was drowning. This is the story of a woman who had a healing process to go through after uncovering her husband's addiction. Its not an easy journey and one that happens far too often. I'm grateful Lynn Cherry shares her story and I think it will bring you encouragement today. Learn more about Lynn at lynnmariecherry.com What You Will Discover Why I was given the "gift of anger" Because Lynn's anger was the catalyst of her change When "recovery" felt like it was just scraping a gaping wound How her husband thought his porn addiction was just affecting him (not her) How there were times she wasn't sure her marriage would survive this The 3 pieces of advice she gives women in her situation Tweetables I felt the tangible presence of lust and then the presence of shame. They were the gift of life, they gave me my purpose. Knowing the truth is the first step to freedom Even when you feel you can't trust your husband, you can trust God.

This is the 3rd installment of our Orgasm Series (click to check out the rest). For far too many women, orgasm is not a source of pleasure and joy it should be. Today's show is talking candidly about how to orgasm, what it takes to orgasm, what can disrupt your orgasm and what you should focus on to orgasm. My guest Keelie Reason gives a great amount of insight and help and you don't want to miss it, listen in! Find all the shownotes at delightyourmarriage.com/128

What is the purpose of marriage? Many people think its happiness. Once that purpose is not being fulfilled many marriages fail. Certainly there are times when marriage is wonderfully happy. But, as every married man and woman knows, there are also times where it is just plain difficult. Today we have the second half of Kim Olachea's interview where she shares the principle things God taught her through her 37-year marriage. Find out more about Kim at proverbwise.com She has lived out the notion that God makes us more holy through our marriage, even when we're not necessarily happy. Find out all the shownotes at delightyourmarriage.com/127

When you got married, you really didn't know who you were marrying. Maybe you knew some things and probably loved them. But as time passes you learned more and more. And as time passes some things change. Illnesses, disorders and disabilities sometimes become reality in marriage. How do you deal with these challenges together? That is our topic today. Our guest, Kim Olachea has weathered and helpful insights that I think will give you encouragement in this area. Find out more about Kim at proverbwise.com Get all the shownotes at delightyourmarriage.com/126

Today's broadcast is our second in the Orgasm Series and it's a goodie! We all have preconceived notions around what female orgasm should be. It may be time to get better and more correct understandings of how it really happens for women. Sandra Glahn interviewed loads of couples and wives to get the data for her book and has great insights to dismantle those lies that may be holding us back from true pleasure in the bedroom. Get all the shownotes at delightyourmarriage.com/125

Sometimes life is so hard. Maybe it's your marriage challenges. Maybe it's other things. I'm here to tell you there is still hope. That you are not alone in your situation. God is a God of hope. And the worry, the anxiety, and the gut-wrenching dread are not inevitable, just because you're in the midst of suffering. Today, there is hope. Listen in to hear more. See all the show notes here: delightyourmarriage.com/124

For Penny, life didn't turn out the way she had planned. Well, her marriage anyway. When they got married, she didn't really understand that she was a broken person marrying another broken person. But eventually it became clear to her that the marriage was beyond fixing. She filed for divorce and her husband agreed. Fast-forward 14 years of heartache and God does something she didn't expect. How can a broken marriage heal? How can your marriage heal? That's what we're talking about to today. Listen in. Check out delightyourmarriage.com/123 for the show notes!

Bethany had been married and things were going along fine, but she didn't feel very connected to her husband on a deep level. She planned to go on a weekend retreat and she was surprised to find out all that she learned. She found out that she and her husband communicate differently. For example, she found out that husbands' preferred method of communication is sex, while that is not wives' first preferred method of communication. This and other generally true understandings gave her the insights she needed to bring her intimacy to a greater level in all areas of her relationship. See all the show notes here: delightyourmarriage.com/122 -- If you enjoyed this episode--I'd so appreciate it if you reviewed and rated the podcast!

Bethany had been married and things were going along fine, but she didn't feel very connected to her husband on a deep level. She planned to go on a weekend retreat and she was surprised to find out all that she learned. She found out that she and her husband communicate differently. For example, she found out that husbands' preferred method of communication is sex, while that is not wives' first preferred method of communication. This and other generally true understandings gave her the insights she needed to bring her intimacy to a greater level in all areas of her relationship. Find all the show notes at delightyourmarriage.com/121

This is our first post in the topical series Orgasm. My guest today Julie Sibert from intimacyinmarriage.com talks about how sexual intimacy is a gift from God and that includes orgasm. He wants us to enjoy this gift. There's plenty we can do to get there. If you're a wife and have never experienced this gift, you'll want to give this a listen and try out Julie's suggestions. Go to delightyourmarriage.com for all the show notes.

We all go through seasons in passion. Sometimes it feels so easy to make love and sometimes its just not. Today I wanted to talk about those seasons that are hard. Maybe its because of children, stress, or medication but sometimes its hard to make sex a priority in your life. I want you to know how I do it. I'm in a season currently where it's not the easiest thing and I want to encourage you that you can do it too. There's good fruit on the other side, it's worth it. Listen in. View all show notes and other articles and resources at delightyourmarriage.com/119

When you're laying in ICU and the doctor says this operation may kill you, there's a lot that might go through your mind. What Kimberly Rae realized is that what she wanted most is to love God and the people around her, instead of doing the "important" things that seem so relevant in our overbooked, overloaded lives. Listen in to hear the hard-fought wisdom of a woman who lives these truths on a daily basis as she fights through life with her illness. She has lots to share on how to strip away the unnecessary and get to the heart of how God wants us to live our lives. You'll be inspired to love Jesus and the people in your care more, but in a balanced way. In a way that is more aligned with scripture than the do-everything & be-everything saga that I have fallen into myself too many times. Find all the show notes at delightyourmarriage.com/116

We live in a hectic time where energy for the people depending on us can easily get to the bottom of our todo list. Especially our husbands. But how do you prioritize? How do you make sure when this life is over and done with that you've been who were supposed to be, to the people you were responsible for? As a wife and mother (of toddlers by the way :) I too feel torn at times. I'm still learning. But there's been a method that has worked for me and I wanted to share that with you. Not that you have to adopt all the strategies that are working for me, but that you might be inspired to create your own. Here's what I do yearly, monthly, weekly and daily to ensure I'm walking the straight and narrow with God before me. Believe it or not, it's actually given me more rest than ever. delightyourmarriage.com

If you haven't yet heard part I of Mona's story. I'll catch you up. She was terribly betrayed by not only her husband but he had an affair with her best friend. The horror of what she went through penetrated every part of her being. And then she healed. Somehow, someway Mona has become a wife who says to other despairing couples "there is hope." Listen in to be transfixed by the story of a woman who walked an incredibly painful road but who has reason to say "you are not alone in your pain, and you can make it too". delightyourmarriage.com

When Mona was approached by her husband, she couldn't believe her ears. His unfaithfulness was a complete surprise. If you had asked her if her marriage could heal from this affair in the beginning she wouldn't have believed it. But God surprised her with healing that she and her husband now help other couples heal from their brokenness as well. A powerful story that led to healing she didn't think was possible. Now she and her husband give hope to other couples walking through journey to healing. Find out all the show notes at delightyourmarriage.com/113

I have been a wife that thought sex was mostly for the man. And I had to go through a process to change that. Chris' story is a lot like mine in that respect. Today she dives deep into why wives can get in this rut and the season she went through to get out. What You'll Discover: The journey from a reluctant wife to someone who is released in passion Belah's thought process that make you go from a-not wanting to make love tonight, to b-being turned on and ready to go The stages Chris went through to become a wife who enjoys sex for her own enjoyment Considering what you want your marriage to be like eventually, the advice she would give herself if she could. delightyourmarriage.com

What You Will Discover: How seduction can be so fun and exciting in your marriage-bed. The specific steps of seduction and how you can apply it to your intimacy. What seduction what means to him (compared to being in the dark with the lights off). Why intimacy can feel so much better when you're having an active role. How to have confidence in the bedroom. Watch the free 1st video of the DYH video course, here. Find all the resources mentioned at delightyourmarriage.com/111

Parenting our kids around sexual realities can feel overwhelming (and scary, if you're anything like me!) Well, I hope today's conversation with Luke Gilkerson, an expert on the topic, will allow you to breathe a sigh of relief as we learn the fundamentals of raising sexually healthy kids. God gives a lot of insight for us to follow through the Bible and Luke shares with us research that has proven these understandings. If you know young people or are a parent, this episode is not to be missed. You can play a vital, life-saving role in their lives, listen to find out how. Find out all the resources we referenced at delightyourmarriage.com/110

How does a wife move from stressed, dissatisfied, & doing too much for him, to a woman who actually enjoys love making? I talk to expert, Laura Doyle, who is leading a movement of women who started with her own strife-filled marriage. Now she's enjoying a life filled with joy and peace. Well, Laura says we're looking at this whole thing wrong. What if it was easy? What if it started outside the bedroom and what if we enjoyed our whole life more? What if it honored God more? What if we enjoyed sex, as a result? Surprising and potentially life-changing insights are in this episode you won't want to miss. Find all the links and show notes at delightyourmarriage.com/109

My story... Basically this is a show I wish I had listened to YEARS ago! We all have ideas of what we'd like our husbands to do. But for many of us we have a very faulty tactic. Instead of feeling cared for, romanced and cherished, we feel resentful, angry, and alone. This is my story. How I started in marriage, what changed and what has happened. Now, who my husband has become is quite incredible. Find the transcript at delightyourmarriage.com/108

PII: We're one flesh but clearly we're different people. How does that work? The Bible tells us "therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh," Gen 2:24. How do we do that practically? We're listening in to the second half of my interview with Ruth about what it means to let our husband journey alongside us. And be united at the same time. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/107 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/106 "JII" = Journey Interview, Part II Ever wondered how to encourage him to lead? I continue this conversation next week. Check out my story "How To Get Him To Do What You Want" to hear my rocky journeythat has led to a lot of contentment and even (surprisingly the romance and connection I had hoped).

How often do you look in the mirror and judge what is reflecting back at you? How many times have you said something negative about your body? ...this week? Or when was the last time you thanked God for designing "His temple" exactly as it is? In today's episode, we walk through someone else's shoes to understand how it could be different. And why God wants it to be different. Ruth Buezis has a heart for God and sex in marriage. She believes that trusting our beauty and worth matters to our Creator. And the way we feel about ourselves in sex matters to the rest of our lives. She didn't always feel this way, not even close. Listen in for hope and healing. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/106 "JI" = Journey Interview, Part I

Sometimes even with our best efforts, because of our society it can derail our thought-life. Today's guests know that all too well. Mordechai and Ilana have 4 children and are observant Jews, in fact Hasidic Jews. Usually my guests are Christian, but I felt they had such helpful insight for us, that I had to have them on. It's also incredibly encouraging to hear about the culture in which Jesus came and the background from which Paul wrote his letters. You might not agree with all that is said and you might not want to include every idea into your lifestyle. But, I deeply believe this conversation will edify you and help you to love God and His gift of Jesus SO much more. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/105

Though I'm mostly talking about purifying your mind regarding sexual thoughts, this is what I would prescribe anyone battling challenging thoughts. I think we don't talk about purifying our mind enough, especially in regards to sex. I think it may be because of embarrassment or because we think it's not necessary to address it head on. Well, this episode, I do. I address exactly what I wish someone had sat me down and explained to me when I struggling so severely with my sexual thoughts. I give you the why, the how and the science behind changing your thought-life towards what God desires. All the links, resources, general transcript and show notes are available at: delightyourmarriage.com/104

PII: Could it be possible, after the gorgeous ceremony and wonderful party, there could be sexual challenges on the tropical vacation? A story that happens too often, but is not often shared: Kellar gives her perspective on the let-down and challenges they faced after choosing to save sex for marriage. But she also gives a lot of hope and practical guidance for other who desire to live holy before the Lord. What she wish she had known, she shares with you. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/103 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/102 "JII" = Journey Interview, Part II

PI: After yet another heartbreak, culminating in a night of drinking and a miserable morning... made Kellar realize she wasn't headed in the direction that would be fulfilling. She was ready to get off the rollercoaster of hurt. And God allowed her to take an opportunity to change her life around. Then she made intentional choices and met a man who she began dating and intentionally choosing saving physical intimacy for marriage. Hear her journey and be inspired in your marriage. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/102 Check out Part II (coming out next week) at delightyourmarriage.com/103 "JI" = Journey Interview, Part I

Has the romance died? Is it hard to remember why you fell in love in the first place? Today, we're talking about how to bring the romance in your marriage back to life. I have date expert, Debi Walter, on to give a myriad of ideas, recommendations and practical steps to get your romance flame burning brightly. It's vital. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/101

If you're single or married, I believe you'll get a lot out of this episode! How do you fall in love? What should you do WAY before you ever meet someone? How do you make changes that you desire? How do you make sure you'll be a good match for each other? AND how do you find this person? Soup to nuts, here is mindset and practical how-to strategy to truly find the love of your life, for keeps. All this and more are covered on my solo show today. It's just you and me, helping you get to where you want to be! Find all the links and show notes at delightyourmarriage.com/100

If you have had sexual sin in your marriage, it's really hard to figure out who to talk to. Not everyone is safe. Today, Jen gets it. Her marriage suffered greatly when her husband's pornography addiction was revealed. She helps us understand what we need in the midst of the crisis. Who we should be sharing our heart to (and who we shouldn't). Listen in for hope and healing in this discussion. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/99

PII: When you have been through it, you have been through it. Jenny shares the second half of her interview where she talks about the big terrible things that can happen in marriage, but then what happens as you pick up the pieces of it all. How do you work through intimacy recovering from her sexual addiction? How do you rebuild a life after cancer? What does it look like to rely on God for your daily bread? Jenny is honest and speaks soothing balm to those who need it after the wreckage. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/98 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/97 "JII" = Journey Interview, Part II

Jenny knows what it's like to struggle to stop & recover from sexual addiction, so do I. Today, we break the back of shame (the devil's #1 tool) and reveal what so many others cover up. Jenny is brave to share a story about sexual addiction that is affecting at least 37% of women. We hear often about the men, but women struggle too. And it's time we talk about the hope there is for women. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/97 "JI" = Journey Interview, Part I

If you're not comfortable starting things off in intimacy, this is a discussion you don't want to miss. Keelie Reason is on a second time to talk about what initiating has meant in her life and how she made a change. We dive into the practical realities of your husband's sexuality and erections. We also talk about how to dismantle your hesitancy. And give you practical how-tos to get started. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/96

Insecurity steals the good things God desires for us. It can rob us of our God-given calling, a life-giving marriage, and a fulfilling sex life (just to name a few). Confidence is vital, in and out of the bedroom. I think there are a lot of reasons we as women need to learn to be confident. It matters, to ourselves, to our husbands and I believe to God. I'll share why, and exactly what I think you can do to be more confident. All the links, resources, general transcript and show notes are available at: delightyourmarriage.com/95

Changes are happening with DYM and I want you to be aware. Feel free to email me your thoughts at belah at delightyourmarriage . com

PII: 1 in 2 of marriages deal with chronic illness, and most of them are invisible (ie: depression). Kimberly shares what life is like when you're dealing with constant challenge in your body. She has an incredible heart and really gives us wisdom whether we're serving a chronically ill spouse or receiving their care. Spoiler alert: There is so much hope in this episode. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/94 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/93

We’ve all been there. You gave all the right hints. Shared all the right stories. And to your utter dismay, he apparently retained absolutely none of it. Well, today we’re breaking down the walls of confusion and hitting you hard with insights you don’t want to miss on exactly what your desire from your spouse, what he desires from you, and how to get what you desire. All of this in the context of biblically solid principles that will leave you inspired to be more like Jesus in your marriage. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/93

PII: When we don’t have a shared vision, everything feels important. It feels vital to win the argument, to get our point across, and to nitpick at the problems in our spouse. But, once we are intentional about envisioning a shared legacy we want to leave, everything comes into proper focus. Kimberly shares how creating goals as a couple has revolutionized the way she and her husband interact with each other. It was one of the biggest turning points in my marriage and continues to ground us as a couple. This episode is not to be missed! All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/92 Check out Part I: Dealing With Anger at delightyourmarriage.com/91

PI: If your spouse’s go-to response is anger, it’s not easy. How can you guide the conversation into peace and even encouragement when it has such strong emotions? Or what if you’ve established a pattern of anger and hurt in your marriage? Well, today I have Kimberly to talk about the experience she and her husband went through around anger and how she learned that there specific ways to put your marriage back on track. What can you do to turn the tide? All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/91

Have you been a victim of sexual sin? Porn, infidelity, or even past sin prior to marriage can put a wife into a whirlwind of hurt and pain. Kay understands that heartache, she herself happened upon her husband’s addition 6 years into it. How did she make it through? How could her marriage survive such betrayal? Kay, a trained counselor, gives amazing insights and suggestions for the wife who is hurt and how to move through that hurt into healing. This episode may be the hope you’ve been grasping for. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/90