Delight Your Marriage

Bethany had been married and things were going along fine, but she didn't feel very connected to her husband on a deep level. She planned to go on a weekend retreat and she was surprised to find out all that she learned. She found out that she and her husband communicate differently. For example, she found out that husbands' preferred method of communication is sex, while that is not wives' first preferred method of communication. This and other generally true understandings gave her the insights she needed to bring her intimacy to a greater level in all areas of her relationship. See all the show notes here: delightyourmarriage.com/122 -- If you enjoyed this episode--I'd so appreciate it if you reviewed and rated the podcast!

Bethany had been married and things were going along fine, but she didn't feel very connected to her husband on a deep level. She planned to go on a weekend retreat and she was surprised to find out all that she learned. She found out that she and her husband communicate differently. For example, she found out that husbands' preferred method of communication is sex, while that is not wives' first preferred method of communication. This and other generally true understandings gave her the insights she needed to bring her intimacy to a greater level in all areas of her relationship. Find all the show notes at delightyourmarriage.com/121

This is our first post in the topical series Orgasm. My guest today Julie Sibert from intimacyinmarriage.com talks about how sexual intimacy is a gift from God and that includes orgasm. He wants us to enjoy this gift. There's plenty we can do to get there. If you're a wife and have never experienced this gift, you'll want to give this a listen and try out Julie's suggestions. Go to delightyourmarriage.com for all the show notes.

We all go through seasons in passion. Sometimes it feels so easy to make love and sometimes its just not. Today I wanted to talk about those seasons that are hard. Maybe its because of children, stress, or medication but sometimes its hard to make sex a priority in your life. I want you to know how I do it. I'm in a season currently where it's not the easiest thing and I want to encourage you that you can do it too. There's good fruit on the other side, it's worth it. Listen in. View all show notes and other articles and resources at delightyourmarriage.com/119

When you're laying in ICU and the doctor says this operation may kill you, there's a lot that might go through your mind. What Kimberly Rae realized is that what she wanted most is to love God and the people around her, instead of doing the "important" things that seem so relevant in our overbooked, overloaded lives. Listen in to hear the hard-fought wisdom of a woman who lives these truths on a daily basis as she fights through life with her illness. She has lots to share on how to strip away the unnecessary and get to the heart of how God wants us to live our lives. You'll be inspired to love Jesus and the people in your care more, but in a balanced way. In a way that is more aligned with scripture than the do-everything & be-everything saga that I have fallen into myself too many times. Find all the show notes at delightyourmarriage.com/116

We live in a hectic time where energy for the people depending on us can easily get to the bottom of our todo list. Especially our husbands. But how do you prioritize? How do you make sure when this life is over and done with that you've been who were supposed to be, to the people you were responsible for? As a wife and mother (of toddlers by the way :) I too feel torn at times. I'm still learning. But there's been a method that has worked for me and I wanted to share that with you. Not that you have to adopt all the strategies that are working for me, but that you might be inspired to create your own. Here's what I do yearly, monthly, weekly and daily to ensure I'm walking the straight and narrow with God before me. Believe it or not, it's actually given me more rest than ever. delightyourmarriage.com

If you haven't yet heard part I of Mona's story. I'll catch you up. She was terribly betrayed by not only her husband but he had an affair with her best friend. The horror of what she went through penetrated every part of her being. And then she healed. Somehow, someway Mona has become a wife who says to other despairing couples "there is hope." Listen in to be transfixed by the story of a woman who walked an incredibly painful road but who has reason to say "you are not alone in your pain, and you can make it too". delightyourmarriage.com

When Mona was approached by her husband, she couldn't believe her ears. His unfaithfulness was a complete surprise. If you had asked her if her marriage could heal from this affair in the beginning she wouldn't have believed it. But God surprised her with healing that she and her husband now help other couples heal from their brokenness as well. A powerful story that led to healing she didn't think was possible. Now she and her husband give hope to other couples walking through journey to healing. Find out all the show notes at delightyourmarriage.com/113

I have been a wife that thought sex was mostly for the man. And I had to go through a process to change that. Chris' story is a lot like mine in that respect. Today she dives deep into why wives can get in this rut and the season she went through to get out. What You'll Discover: The journey from a reluctant wife to someone who is released in passion Belah's thought process that make you go from a-not wanting to make love tonight, to b-being turned on and ready to go The stages Chris went through to become a wife who enjoys sex for her own enjoyment Considering what you want your marriage to be like eventually, the advice she would give herself if she could. delightyourmarriage.com

What You Will Discover: How seduction can be so fun and exciting in your marriage-bed. The specific steps of seduction and how you can apply it to your intimacy. What seduction what means to him (compared to being in the dark with the lights off). Why intimacy can feel so much better when you're having an active role. How to have confidence in the bedroom. Watch the free 1st video of the DYH video course, here. Find all the resources mentioned at delightyourmarriage.com/111

Parenting our kids around sexual realities can feel overwhelming (and scary, if you're anything like me!) Well, I hope today's conversation with Luke Gilkerson, an expert on the topic, will allow you to breathe a sigh of relief as we learn the fundamentals of raising sexually healthy kids. God gives a lot of insight for us to follow through the Bible and Luke shares with us research that has proven these understandings. If you know young people or are a parent, this episode is not to be missed. You can play a vital, life-saving role in their lives, listen to find out how. Find out all the resources we referenced at delightyourmarriage.com/110

How does a wife move from stressed, dissatisfied, & doing too much for him, to a woman who actually enjoys love making? I talk to expert, Laura Doyle, who is leading a movement of women who started with her own strife-filled marriage. Now she's enjoying a life filled with joy and peace. Well, Laura says we're looking at this whole thing wrong. What if it was easy? What if it started outside the bedroom and what if we enjoyed our whole life more? What if it honored God more? What if we enjoyed sex, as a result? Surprising and potentially life-changing insights are in this episode you won't want to miss. Find all the links and show notes at delightyourmarriage.com/109

My story... Basically this is a show I wish I had listened to YEARS ago! We all have ideas of what we'd like our husbands to do. But for many of us we have a very faulty tactic. Instead of feeling cared for, romanced and cherished, we feel resentful, angry, and alone. This is my story. How I started in marriage, what changed and what has happened. Now, who my husband has become is quite incredible. Find the transcript at delightyourmarriage.com/108

PII: We're one flesh but clearly we're different people. How does that work? The Bible tells us "therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh," Gen 2:24. How do we do that practically? We're listening in to the second half of my interview with Ruth about what it means to let our husband journey alongside us. And be united at the same time. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/107 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/106 "JII" = Journey Interview, Part II Ever wondered how to encourage him to lead? I continue this conversation next week. Check out my story "How To Get Him To Do What You Want" to hear my rocky journeythat has led to a lot of contentment and even (surprisingly the romance and connection I had hoped).

How often do you look in the mirror and judge what is reflecting back at you? How many times have you said something negative about your body? ...this week? Or when was the last time you thanked God for designing "His temple" exactly as it is? In today's episode, we walk through someone else's shoes to understand how it could be different. And why God wants it to be different. Ruth Buezis has a heart for God and sex in marriage. She believes that trusting our beauty and worth matters to our Creator. And the way we feel about ourselves in sex matters to the rest of our lives. She didn't always feel this way, not even close. Listen in for hope and healing. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/106 "JI" = Journey Interview, Part I

Sometimes even with our best efforts, because of our society it can derail our thought-life. Today's guests know that all too well. Mordechai and Ilana have 4 children and are observant Jews, in fact Hasidic Jews. Usually my guests are Christian, but I felt they had such helpful insight for us, that I had to have them on. It's also incredibly encouraging to hear about the culture in which Jesus came and the background from which Paul wrote his letters. You might not agree with all that is said and you might not want to include every idea into your lifestyle. But, I deeply believe this conversation will edify you and help you to love God and His gift of Jesus SO much more. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/105

Though I'm mostly talking about purifying your mind regarding sexual thoughts, this is what I would prescribe anyone battling challenging thoughts. I think we don't talk about purifying our mind enough, especially in regards to sex. I think it may be because of embarrassment or because we think it's not necessary to address it head on. Well, this episode, I do. I address exactly what I wish someone had sat me down and explained to me when I struggling so severely with my sexual thoughts. I give you the why, the how and the science behind changing your thought-life towards what God desires. All the links, resources, general transcript and show notes are available at: delightyourmarriage.com/104

PII: Could it be possible, after the gorgeous ceremony and wonderful party, there could be sexual challenges on the tropical vacation? A story that happens too often, but is not often shared: Kellar gives her perspective on the let-down and challenges they faced after choosing to save sex for marriage. But she also gives a lot of hope and practical guidance for other who desire to live holy before the Lord. What she wish she had known, she shares with you. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/103 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/102 "JII" = Journey Interview, Part II

PI: After yet another heartbreak, culminating in a night of drinking and a miserable morning... made Kellar realize she wasn't headed in the direction that would be fulfilling. She was ready to get off the rollercoaster of hurt. And God allowed her to take an opportunity to change her life around. Then she made intentional choices and met a man who she began dating and intentionally choosing saving physical intimacy for marriage. Hear her journey and be inspired in your marriage. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/102 Check out Part II (coming out next week) at delightyourmarriage.com/103 "JI" = Journey Interview, Part I

Has the romance died? Is it hard to remember why you fell in love in the first place? Today, we're talking about how to bring the romance in your marriage back to life. I have date expert, Debi Walter, on to give a myriad of ideas, recommendations and practical steps to get your romance flame burning brightly. It's vital. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/101

If you're single or married, I believe you'll get a lot out of this episode! How do you fall in love? What should you do WAY before you ever meet someone? How do you make changes that you desire? How do you make sure you'll be a good match for each other? AND how do you find this person? Soup to nuts, here is mindset and practical how-to strategy to truly find the love of your life, for keeps. All this and more are covered on my solo show today. It's just you and me, helping you get to where you want to be! Find all the links and show notes at delightyourmarriage.com/100

If you have had sexual sin in your marriage, it's really hard to figure out who to talk to. Not everyone is safe. Today, Jen gets it. Her marriage suffered greatly when her husband's pornography addiction was revealed. She helps us understand what we need in the midst of the crisis. Who we should be sharing our heart to (and who we shouldn't). Listen in for hope and healing in this discussion. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/99

PII: When you have been through it, you have been through it. Jenny shares the second half of her interview where she talks about the big terrible things that can happen in marriage, but then what happens as you pick up the pieces of it all. How do you work through intimacy recovering from her sexual addiction? How do you rebuild a life after cancer? What does it look like to rely on God for your daily bread? Jenny is honest and speaks soothing balm to those who need it after the wreckage. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/98 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/97 "JII" = Journey Interview, Part II

Jenny knows what it's like to struggle to stop & recover from sexual addiction, so do I. Today, we break the back of shame (the devil's #1 tool) and reveal what so many others cover up. Jenny is brave to share a story about sexual addiction that is affecting at least 37% of women. We hear often about the men, but women struggle too. And it's time we talk about the hope there is for women. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/97 "JI" = Journey Interview, Part I

If you're not comfortable starting things off in intimacy, this is a discussion you don't want to miss. Keelie Reason is on a second time to talk about what initiating has meant in her life and how she made a change. We dive into the practical realities of your husband's sexuality and erections. We also talk about how to dismantle your hesitancy. And give you practical how-tos to get started. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/96

Insecurity steals the good things God desires for us. It can rob us of our God-given calling, a life-giving marriage, and a fulfilling sex life (just to name a few). Confidence is vital, in and out of the bedroom. I think there are a lot of reasons we as women need to learn to be confident. It matters, to ourselves, to our husbands and I believe to God. I'll share why, and exactly what I think you can do to be more confident. All the links, resources, general transcript and show notes are available at: delightyourmarriage.com/95

Changes are happening with DYM and I want you to be aware. Feel free to email me your thoughts at belah at delightyourmarriage . com

PII: 1 in 2 of marriages deal with chronic illness, and most of them are invisible (ie: depression). Kimberly shares what life is like when you're dealing with constant challenge in your body. She has an incredible heart and really gives us wisdom whether we're serving a chronically ill spouse or receiving their care. Spoiler alert: There is so much hope in this episode. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/94 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/93

We’ve all been there. You gave all the right hints. Shared all the right stories. And to your utter dismay, he apparently retained absolutely none of it. Well, today we’re breaking down the walls of confusion and hitting you hard with insights you don’t want to miss on exactly what your desire from your spouse, what he desires from you, and how to get what you desire. All of this in the context of biblically solid principles that will leave you inspired to be more like Jesus in your marriage. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/93

PII: When we don’t have a shared vision, everything feels important. It feels vital to win the argument, to get our point across, and to nitpick at the problems in our spouse. But, once we are intentional about envisioning a shared legacy we want to leave, everything comes into proper focus. Kimberly shares how creating goals as a couple has revolutionized the way she and her husband interact with each other. It was one of the biggest turning points in my marriage and continues to ground us as a couple. This episode is not to be missed! All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/92 Check out Part I: Dealing With Anger at delightyourmarriage.com/91

PI: If your spouse’s go-to response is anger, it’s not easy. How can you guide the conversation into peace and even encouragement when it has such strong emotions? Or what if you’ve established a pattern of anger and hurt in your marriage? Well, today I have Kimberly to talk about the experience she and her husband went through around anger and how she learned that there specific ways to put your marriage back on track. What can you do to turn the tide? All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/91

Have you been a victim of sexual sin? Porn, infidelity, or even past sin prior to marriage can put a wife into a whirlwind of hurt and pain. Kay understands that heartache, she herself happened upon her husband’s addition 6 years into it. How did she make it through? How could her marriage survive such betrayal? Kay, a trained counselor, gives amazing insights and suggestions for the wife who is hurt and how to move through that hurt into healing. This episode may be the hope you’ve been grasping for. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/90

PII: All of us face severe challenges in this life. And we all will (if we haven’t already) experience grief. God does give the grace to receive comfort through our marriages in the times we need it most. But it isn’t automatic and it needs to be fostered intentionally. This is the second half of my interview with Penny and she shares very practical step by step instructions on how to grow in your emotional intimacy together. She also shares what sexual intimacy is like during grief and how to help yourself and your spouse in the midst of that. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/89 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/88

Though none of us are promised tomorrow, there is so much pain in loss. And when we or someone we love goes through grief it can be so hard to know how to relate. 85% of marriages break apart because of some kind of trauma. Today we hear from Penny who bravely shares her experiences that have helped her to minister to so many hurting, because of what she went through. I encourage you to listen to hear how healing and grace can be part of your story of grief. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/88

We live in a comparison culture, but that is not what God calls us to do in marriage. You have your spouse. Heather talks about discovering who her husband truly is through intentional effort. And discovering who she is and how they tick together as a unit. We all have to refocus our energy on the gifts we received in her husband. Find out how. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/87 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/86

Have you had a desire or a dream that has been delayed? It’s amazing what God wants to do in the times when we’re waiting and the seasons that we don’t have what we’ve set out for. Heather shares the difficulty of her dreams being unattainable right now. The vision for her life is still in her heart but hasn’t happened yet. She shares about a trap we can all get in when we’re discontent and comparing our lives to others. And God wants us to be walking with purpose and contentment in the seasons where we aren’t “there” yet. Listen in and find out how. Find out more about Heather and their ministry at preengaged.com Click this special link to get a free course “Beyond "You'll Just Know": 7 Indicators You May Have Found the One!” All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/86

It’s so easy to run away from the hard topics. It’s easy to hide and guard ourselves from our spouses even in intimacy. Melanie shares how God changed her marriage to be one that works through the difficult times and is grateful for how He changes her through them. Sex is vital in the process of growing unified as a spouse and we dive into how to grow in that unity. Listen in to be encouraged regardless of where you are with your marriage, God wants to grow you and your spouse towards Him and towards each other. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/85 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/84

From a wife who saw sex as a chore to a woman who feels free and enjoys frequent intimacy in her marriage. How did she get there? Well, it didn’t happen overnight, but Melanie was able to come to place where her past didn’t define her marriage anymore. And she was shocked to find God wanted her to find freedom in a place she had never known. Listen in to discover how God transformed her heart and made her sexually free. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/84

What does marriage look like after hearing that he doesn’t love you? Well, Amanda’s story will inspire, convict and encourage you to stand with God as you fight for your marriage. How do you do that? It might not be easy, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything. Listen in to hear how God transformed her heart and what her marriage looks like as a result. Become one that stands for what God wants for you. This is Part II of my interview with Amanda Taylor of mendourmarriage.com. Listen to Part I (Episode 82) or delightyourmarriage.com/82 All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/83

Amanda sat at the table in disbelief as her husband said the words she never thought she’d hear. He shared that he was no longer in love with her. “This is the man I had trusted with everything. I never once doubted his loyalty.” But through this horror, God surprised her and changed her and her marriage in ways she never would have expected. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/82

Hi there! Belah here. Today is Part II of my interview with Keelie Reason of lovehopeadventure.com. Keelie shares how important it is to have mentors in your life and surrounding your marriage to help guide you. When you’re intentional about your friendships they can mean the world to your marital health. Listen in as Keelie shares about her keys to marital success and how important it was watching and learning from her own parents doing marriage everyday. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/81 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/80

Hi there! Belah here. Today, I have with me Keelie Reason with lovehopeadventure.com. Have you had those times in your marriage where you feel kind of stuck? Maybe its because of external circumstances, but it just doesn’t seem to be working like it used to. Well, Keelie shares about a season in her life that caused her to have to figure out who she is and stop relying on her husband’s career for her identity. Find out how they moved through the most difficult season of their marriage and what she learned through it. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/80

Hi there! Belah here. Today is Part II of my interview with Larry Hagner of gooddadproject.com. After Larry shared such a moving story in his Part I, he shares why his marriage is strong in the midst of challenges. Communication is the foundation of a healthy marriage: communication with God and each other. But communication is more of a skill, but it isn’t hard. It just requires action and Larry walks us through how to do it. All the links, resources, and show notes available at:delightyourmarriage.com/79 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/78

Hi there! Belah here. Today, I have with me Larry Hagner with gooddadproject.com. Larry has a heart for fatherhood and he knows how important his marriage is as the foundation of his family. Larry shares a very personal story about his family. When he and his wife were pregnant with their fourth child they found out some distressing news about their child. This launched the two into very challenging next weeks onto what to do for their baby. Larry shares what he learned and how God has been faithful throughout. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/78

Hi there! Belah here. Today, I have with me Dr. Corey Allen to talk about a difficult issue that is happening in at least 25% of marriages. Dr. Allen talks about the medical and mental obstacles that men may need to move past in order to have a healthy and enjoyable sex life. He gives practical ideas on how to boost intimacy with your husband of any drive. I also share a little inspirational Christmas & New Years message & update for you at the end. All the links, resources, and show notes available at: delightyourmarriage.com/77 Check out Delight Your Husband: The Christian wife’s manual to passion, confidence & oral sex by Belah Rose gum.co/dyhbook get 25% off from now til Christmas, use the code “christmas” gum.co/dyhbook

Hi there! Belah here. Today, I have with me Juana Mikels of choosinghim.com. Juana shares in Part I the very difficult beginning to her marriage. But she shares in this episode that things in her marriage still require her to rely on God. She says she depends on God's grace in her husband to be the leader of her family. Listen in as she shares insights around what keeps her trusting God and allowing Him to use her even while feeling faithless...God is faithful. Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/75

Hi there! Belah here. Today, I have with me Juana Mikels of choosinghim.com. Juana is a wife and mother of 4; her youngest daughter was born blind. She shares about her marriage that almost fell apart. Neither were believers when they married. It’s an incredible story of how they were separated for a long time and what God did to bring them back together. Juana encourages us to honor and cherish the man He has given us. For all the shownotes visit us: delightyourmarriage.com/75

Hi there! Belah here. Today, I have with me Tony Ingrassia of powerofpurity.org. Tony had an incredibly challenging childhood and first years of marriage. You can hear in Part I the pain his wife and he endured. Now you can hear what happened through God’s grace to their marriage. What principle things God has taught Tony along the way. All the links, resources, and show notes available at:delightyourmarriage.com/74 Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/73