Autopod Decepticast: A bi-weekly retrospective of the G1 Transformers animated movie and cartoon.

Join your Pretentious Pod Pals of the APDC as they review the season 3 episode, “Five Faces of Darkness IV,” from the 1986 animated classic series, The Transformers! No banter, let’s drink!!! The Tootsie Roll Owl did it!! What are you watching?! Zodiac Killer = Boring!! Blue Drinks and Naked Lunches!!! Galvatron jogging in space!! Shut up and get to the ship!!! Goo!!! Rodimus kills himself!! Matrix flashback!!! Trypticon penis towers!! In the Real World! Script Deviations!! Rate the Scheme!! Iconic Moments!! Buckets of porn in the woods!!!COCKTAIL – 9:33, SHOUT OUTS – 14:10, REVIEW – 22:24, THE REAL WORLD – 1:00:28, SCRIPT DEVIATIONS – 1:12:48, ICONIC MOMENT – 1:18:22

Join your Tiki-toting Trio of the APDC as they review the season 3 episode, “Five Faces of Darkness Part III” from the 1986 classic animated series, The Transformers! Male-pattern Coolio!! 2/3 Chicago COVID!!! Prime Geeki Tiki!!! Channel 5!! Shouts Out!!! Wheelie and Blurr – Worst duo EVER!!! Docking shaft-first into station holes!! Let us…chuckle!!! GROSS!!! Io Facts!! Dallas Corner!!!COCKTAIL – 19:00, SHOUT-OUTS – 24:25, REVIEW – 38:34, REAL WORLD – 1:16:32, SCRIPT DEVIATIONS – 1:25:25, ICONIC MOMENT – 1:29:55

Join your fart-box tongue-punchers of the APDC as they review the season 3 episode, “Five Faces of Darkness Part II,” from the 1986 classic animated series, The Transformers!Do the Dew!!! Raccoons!! Tree talk!! Sand in all your foldy-folds!! It’s a Decepticon stampede!!! Quintessa: Saturn on acid!! Teaspoon: Cybertron’s Chief Dishwasher!! Grimlock: Bozology!! Quintessons: Space Cucks!! Plasma Bath!! In the Real World! Iconic Moment!!COCKTAIL – 18:00REVIEW – 25:08REAL WORLD – 1:05:00SCRIPT DEVIATIONS – 1:22:35

Join your Decepticon Jonestown boys from the APDC as they review the Season 3 premier, “Five Faces of Darkness, Part 1,” from the 1986 classic animated series, The Transformers! It’s a Lemon Party!!! Buy Us a Drink!! Season Three!!! Spin the wheel, see the Faces!! Fuck that memo!!! Wiggidy-ass planet!! Super irresponsible butt-plug!! Munka Spanka!! Carbombya!! Mutated sick puffer-fish!! Desiccated potato!! In the Real World!! Give until it hurts!!!14:40 – Cocktail18:06 – Sunbow Memo22:53 – Episode Review1:27:24 – In the Real World1:44:30 – Script Deviations

We’re back!!! Let’s get scrambled!!! Ghost towns! Camper swapping!! Crazy magnetic field shit!! Strange naming conventions!! Shout-Outs!! What is “sounding?!” Zip-zap the Airbots fight the Stuntrons!! A series of escalations!! Caleb’s a mark-ass mark!! Superion vs. Menasaur!! Satoko Shimonari! Tessho Genda!! In the Real World!! Script Deviations!! It’s all falling apart!! How do we even talk to the Japanese?!!21:00 – COCKTAIL25:25 – SHOUT OUTS!44:05 – EPISODE REVIEW1:51:46 – IN THE REAL WORLD2:00:55 – SCRIPT DEVIATIONS

New Ep#175!!! Join your sideways APDC episode with host Ryan and guests Mike Seibert and Mikel Andrews for Part 3 – THE CONCLUSION of the 2007 Michael Bay Transformers movie review. Do we love it, do we hate it? Inquiring minds want to know! The Allspark Lament Configuration!!! Why do Cybertronians blink?! Prime has a martyr complex!!! Noah’s Ark, Day 39!!! Iconic Moment?! In the Real World!! Ella, ella, ella…!

New Ep#174!!! Join your sideways APDC episode with host Ryan and guests Mike Seibert and Mikel Andrews for Part 2 of 3 in the 2007 Michael Bay Transformers movie. Do we love it, do we hate it? Inquiring minds want to know! Maggie + Glen = Chip Chase!! Ladiesman 217!!! How’d you get over there so fast?! 14 rads – enjoy the sterility! Driving through L.A. Pee River!! Homemade underwear!!! No more Frenzy, please!!! The B-Squad!! Hi, I’m Mike Seibert!!!

Join your sideways APDC episode with host Ryan and guests Mike Seibert and Mikel Andrews as they review the polarizing 2007 Michael Bay Transformers movie. Do we love it, do we hate it? Inquiring minds want to know! Part 1 of a 3-episode series! Encanto! Generational trauma!! It’s just a Tuesday, my dude!!! Groundhog Day!! Bee’s Bat Symbol!!! This is confusing/doesn’t matter/makes no sense!!! Military porn!! Don’t talk to Officer Not-Judd-Nelson!!! Bring the Rain! Left cheek, left cheek, LEFT CHEEK!!!Movie review starts at 20 mins in

Milk!! Big Ottoman Taints!! Lime-to-the-lemon and lemon-to-the-lime!!! Mental Health: Never use your brain!!! B.0.T.!! I’m confused!! Weird and stupid!!! Swindle!! El Presidente!! Bruticus!! Protectobots!! Why even make it like that!? Slow side-tugs with nubbin’ hands!!! Bundy, Panzram, Shawcross, Crowley!!! Elise Presser and the Dickhead Boys!! Give us our rubles back!!!!HIATUS NEWS - (8:28)SHOUT-OUT! - (10:40)COCKTAIL HOUR - (13:25)PERSONAL BEST & WORST OF 2021 - (19:12)"B.O.T." EPISODE REVIEW - (32:58)Milk!! Big Ottoman Taints!! Lime-to-the-lemon and lemon-to-the-lime!!! Mental Health: Never use your brain!!! B.0.T.!! I’m confused!! Weird and stupid!!! Swindle!! El Presidente!! Bruticus!! Protectobots!! Why even make it like that!? Slow side-tugs with nubbin’ hands!!! Bundy, Panzram, Shawcross, Crowley!!! Elise Presser and the Dickhead Boys!! Give us our rubles back!!!!HIATUS NEWS - (8:28)SHOUT-OUT! - (10:40)COCKTAIL HOUR - (13:25)PERSONAL BEST & WORST OF 2021 - (19:12)"B.O.T." EPISODE REVIEW - (33:29)

Dr. Whatever!! Pooptimus Pee!! Captain Alexis! Invincible humans!! Menosaur!! Young Greig Tansley impressions!! Motormaster and Prime play chicken!! Tuggy-wuggy…sucky-sucky!!! Autobot Stunticons, Roll Out!! Champipple!! Need input!! In the Real World! Iconic Moment!! Script Deviations!! Jesus Christ’s Cave!!!(06:50) Going on break!!!!!!!(20:21) Cocktail of the Week! The MILLIONAIRE!!!(31:08) Episode Review - Masquerade!!!

I sound good, you sound good!!! Keep rockin’ and rollin’!! Hot salami!!! Skit outs!! A unique selling proposition!! Bothys!! Shockwave rides Starscream...YEE HAW!! Bruticus!! Protectobots...because capitalism!! Robbing the grave…everyday!! Megatron likes that sass!! Everything and nothing is going on here!! In the Real World! Iconic moments! Script Deviations!! Rate the scheme!! This episode feels HORNY!!!

We at the APDC were lucky enough to be visited by several special guests this holiday season. We have cut these segments out of our full episode #169 and put them together here for your listening pleasure. PLUS, one extra guest NOT heard from on the main show! Happy holidays!

Here’s a fun fact: It’s the Christmas Special!!! Greig Tansley! Mike Seibert! Alpha Magnus! Bullshit or Not?! Special Calls: Passive Aggressive Bumblebee! Shockwave and his Chicken Nuggies! Who’s the real Jazz?! Starscream needs Olivia Rodrigo tix! Tracks, pleased to meet me! The Ghost of Diminishing Returns! Guadalcanal! Combaticons!! Bruticus!! Devastator!!

Let’s scrape off that Cosmic Rust!!! Wizards!!! Mikel Andrews: Modern with a Magical Twist!! War for the Mages!! Caleb: Cool Jock!! Aaron: Would rather be an addict than a Perv!!! The Slice is Right!!! Starscream fucks with shit!! Ebola of the metal people!! Pull this rock outta me!! Corrostop! Ingredient X…es no bueno!! Lady Liberty!! Script Deviations! Iconic Moments!! In the Real World!!! Deep Thrusting!!!

S’up!!! TFCon Baltimore Recap!! Friends! Food!! Fandom!!! VOMIT!!!! Shout-Outs!!! Ryan offends the Russians!! Dandelion Wine!! Ryan’s Birthday!! Professor Baggy Clothes!! These aren’t racers, they’re Stunticons!! The Pearl of Bahoudin!! This announcer is insane!! Jungle Love!! In the Real World!! Iconic Moments!! Script Deviations!! For the ROYALTY!!!

It’s a stone groove!! Egos are fun!! Empire of Rust!!! RPGs...roll with it!! Trivia!!! The Coneheads are on a coffee break!! Sticky wings, or sticky humans?!?! Aerialbots...wing-backed wank-jobs!! The Golden Age of Cybertron!! Orion Pax!! Pouty Lips!! Guardian thighs are thicc!! Voice Actors! In the Real World!! Script Deviations!! Rate the Scheme!! Iconic Moment!! She’s no Lucille Jett!!!

Effendi!! Fall Break!!! Are you Parent-Man, here?! We’re at TFCon right now!! Why buy the mouse when you can get the cow for free??! Alcoholic baby-blood!! This is super boring and nothing matters!! Combaticons...who are they, ah, just go with it!! Griffin Fortress?? Voice Actors! In the Real World!! Script Deviations!! Iconic Moment? Am I in hell?? Did I die!?!?

Have you seen this man?!? Shout out to unknown Japanese man!! Vector Sigma is back! Who reactivates me?! Kill me...I should not live!!! The Flint Deli!! Vector Caroli!!! John Kerry is my homeboy!! Soundwave, go to Walgreens!! Stunticons vs Aerialbots!! Menosaur and, fuck yeah, Superion!! In the Real World! Voice Actors!! Iconic Moments! Script Deviations!! Someone should be honest with me!!!

Rama-lama-ding-dong!!! Wolf Cat Man!!! Tryin’ to fix my algorithm!! Shout-Outs! Bop-shu-bop-shu-bop!!! Military grade!!! So much for your security, Prowl!! Mussolini: the Keystone Kops of Fascism!! Space Bridge: open for business! Hooah, we walked toe-first into the zing zone!!! Vector Sigma: old as shit…sucks!!! Disney lemmings on a turntable!!! Voice Actors! In the Real World!! Mary Poppins, with breasts!!! Dip-da-dip-da-dip!!!

Not bad-good…just bad-BAD!!! Hollywood stories!! On my god, so much wrapping paper!!! Hoop deVilles!! Ryan Jett: Master of Finance!! You’re not a vehicle-robot!! Why is there a sky, outside?!? Let’s build a bridge over Dirge!! Megatron has lost his goddamn mind!!! Get those negatives, NOW!!! Script Deviations? Iconic Moments!! In the Real World!! Rate the Scheme!!! Good job, Moist!!

Greig Tansley returns!! Asshole Aussie shit bird trivia!! Astoria: It’s her party and she’ll cry if she wants to!! The Coneheads hate these gazebos!! If a little homunculus punches my colon, I’d probably shit myself!!! Who, whom, him, her?!? Spike is SO THIRSTY!!! Don’t you EVER touch my necklace!! You got city-hands, Mr. Hooper!!! Do the Neutron Dance!! In the Real World! Iconic Moments!! Rate the Scheme!! Back off, Warchild. Seriously!!!

A pop in the dingus!! A new Shout-Out!!! Muff-bang!!! Magic is science we just don’t understand!! Maybe you’re a non-pervert!! Ryan’s van: “Mold Grower” We’re still going to Baltimore, right?! Return to work?!? Hot Spot USA!!! Elita and the Female Autobots!! Alpha Trion’s human nose!! You have two Earth hours!!! Voice Actors! In the Real World!! Script Deviations!! Iconic Moments!! You shut your serviceable mouth!!!

You Should Be Dancing!! Greig from UNT and Mike from MSRP!!! I’ll fight you over pumpkin spice!!! Aut0 Bop!! Dancitron!!! Punk Centurions and Double Dragon guys!! Relax!!! Is there a plot?! Blaster vs Soundwave: All Talk, No Shock!!! Spoiler: There is no plot! Suck My Deck!! Voice Actors! In the Real World!! Script Deviations!! Iconic Moments!!

That’s not quite cricket!!! Snagged like a Javanese tiger!! Michael Trimblett: Cyber Informer!! Change your passwords!! Remember the Boar War?! Dinsmore clone theories! As the Kitchen Sinks!! Buzz Dixon boot-licking!! Hand Lotion Creamy-Cream!!! Voice Actors! In the Real World!! Script Deviations!! Iconic Moments!! Just like the Humane Society!!!

SPACE TRAIN CHUGGER!!! Aaron used to be a gentleman!! Ryan used to enjoy a lot of things!! Caleb!!! BOOM off the jump it’s crazy!! Shut the fuck up and get a lawyer!! Triple changer quadruple cross??! Plasma Heads!! Look what that pipe has done!! I’m stupid I’m stupid!! In the Real World!! Script Deviations!! Iconic Moments!! I’m not Rappaport!! No more thinking... just watching!!!

HOT BOT SUMMER!!! Feeling good...feeling great...how are YOU?? Jeff Bezos of the Sea!! A whole new world!!! Deceptitran: Cowardly, hysterical!! Serious rebellion shit!! Sea Spray and Alana XOXOXO!! Hey you astro-turkeys!! White Rabbit ’85!! That’s the Real World…SUCK IT!! Iconic Moment!! Voice Actors! Script Deviations!! All Hail the Philippines!!!!

Man Made Monster!!! Mixed up condiments!! Baltimore: Down with It!! Reddy Kilowatt: Plug in, I’m ready!! Kremzeek!! Choco rations down two points!! David Wise!! Japan!! APDCDICK!! Script Deviations!! Say You, Say Me!!! Rocky IV!! Rate the Scheme! Iconic Moments!! Runaway Train…CHOO CHOO!!!

Full-Tilt Behavior!! Planetary Cocktails!!! Garfiel—er—Hershel Calendars!!! Shout Outs! COVID cults!! Lord Guy-Cunny! Energon chips – fuel? Money? Yes! Blurr + Alpha Trion = Devcon!! Sleezardo!!! Don’t be a Roman emperor!!! Sloppy buttholes!! Interstellar predatory lending!! Fly the Scoop!!! Caleb does the summaries?! “19!!” Life Force!!! Teddy K!!!

Betrayals!! Who stole my YoCrunch??! Garnished wages! Clogged pipes!! Buttered Sofas!!! Shout-Outs! Gravity News!! Titty City!! Dyson Sphere’s and Vacuums!! Robo-Smashers!!! Megatron’s gigantic binoculars!! Mark Twain!! In the Real World!! Iconic Moments! Script Deviations!! Sounds like a barrel of laughs!!!

Feed me!!! Rum and a Ramble!! Caleb gifts!!! Shout Out to Nick!! Let’s Get OUTTA Here!!! Spike skips school! Morphobots!!! Convoluted Energon Schemes!!! Disgusting Finger Holes! Cold Slither!!! Pointless Insecticide!! Voice actor! Real World Cetacean News!! Caleb ALWAYS shows up!!! Sorry, Mark!!

Play Ball!! Camping! Floating!! The Mayor of Titty City!!! Tootskies??!! Shout Out: The 11-month binge!! Color errors! Zip Zap the kid!! Defund the Authorities!!! Voice Actors!! In the REAL Real World: Ryan’s unhealthy weight loss!! Rate the Scheme??! Iconic Moment!?? Three strikes and you’re out!!

Ringa-Ding-Dang-DONG!!! How’s the weather?! Punk Rock Name Generator!! The Life Life building!! The Flesh Police!!! Sparky’s Garage! New York City: Everyone’s a Car Thief!! Beefsteak!!! If brains were gunpowder…! Raoul!! Stroke Weight!! Voice Actors! In the Real World!! Rate the Scheme!! Script Deviations!! Tracks: Pipe down and hand me that socket wrench!!!

Here’s the Church!! Here’s the Steeple!!! The God’s Must Be Crazy!!! Nothing Beats Wilkins Coffee!! Famous Movie Devils!! Hung Solo Rap-It-Hole!! Teen Wolf Penis!!! B-B-B-Buzz Dixon!!! The Sky God: A Giant Grift!! Astrotrain: Off the Rails!!! Omega Supreme: Robert Palmer?! One Star Review from Trax!! In the Real World! Script Deviations!! Rate the Scheme!! Iconic Moment!! Some Learn, Some Don’t!!!

Queens of Cosplay continues!! Double fisting!!! Sea Spray and Perceptor: A Fight to the Finish!! Golden Godhood!! Beachcomber drops the ball!!! The big boys take a dip!! In the Real World, Cartoon Crushes!!! Iconic Moments! Rate the Scheme!! SEW SUE ME!!!

From Gym Buddies to Queens of Cosplay: Hayley and Bono, Part 1!!! Favorite nerd properties! Anime lessons from young Millennials!! Trivia! Drinks!! Cats!!! Polyphagia!!! Autobots: Here comes the C-Squad!! Beachcomber is a Disney Princess!! Autobots make good prisoners!! Decepticon shooting spree!! Bad physics!! Respect my idea!! I wish Mirage was here!!!

We can’t read all this shit!! Garbage Pail Kids!! Ryan: Normal Sized Man!!! Blaster and Shockwave: Bookends!! Auto-bootlegging!! Voltronic Galaxer!! Decepticons: On the Moon!!! Megatron: Bitch-slaps Blaster!! Optimus Prime: Air-Traffic Controller!!! Who do you think you are…Marconi?!? Bizarro: I love you!!! Iconic Moment! Script Deviations!! Rate the Scheme!! Where did Caleb go!?! One two three, buckle my shoe!!!

Alpha Magnus!! Mr. Jingeling!! Let’s drink some smarf!!! Who builds a henge anyway?! Greedy for a fuel-up!! Medieval Times-travel trope!!! Masters of the Gridiron!! Spike: keeping it casual!! Aaron: notorious poon-hound!!! Hostage cows!!! Citrus Bitches!!! Wizards!! Dragons!! Moonshining cousins with a racist car!!! In the Real World! Iconic Moments!! Rate the Scheme!! Script Deviations!! Gotcha!! Zorch!! Whoosh!! Zow!!!

We’re livin’ in the past!!! Distracted by scotch!! Cocktail bombs!!! Shout-Out!! Be like Brian!! Hoppin’ the train to Cybertron! Buy Ryan’s van!!! Shockwave hide and seek!! Hold the door, Spike!! Finally...the Dinobots! Carly’s car! Carly’s ankle!! Me Swoop can transform! Ancient Cybertron!! Herner Werzog...? In the Real World! Rate the Scheme!! Iconic Moment!! I take the potato from you!!!

For those of you who have listened to our Holiday Special Ep#143, you know we were visited by 7 of the Icelandic Yule Lads over Christmas. We have cut all those segments together and offer it up here, pasted together. If you haven’t heard #143 yet, check there first to avoid spoilers! Happy upcoming end of this awful year.

Home Alone…again!! Ryan’s orphan dreams! Clark Griswold's Egg Nog!! Icelandic Yule Lads!!! Feline Fashion Police!! Nothing is doing anything!!! ICELANDIC Yule Lads!! FUN-A-RAMA! Sparkplug attends WRENCH-CON!!! Me, Slag, no like anything! Top That!! Powerglide gets aHEAD!! Shockwave holds himself!! I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore!!! Santa Claus: The Movie!! If there’s hair, there’s crabs up there!!! ICELANDIC YULE LADS!!!

Hot Buttered Justice!!! Is this beer?!? 70s-hot Sally Field!!! Shout Outs!! Decepticon Day Parades!! Laserbeak want a cracker!?!? People of Earth, this is Megatron…ANY QUESTIONS!?!?! Shawn Berger: Dog Lunch!!! Voice actors!! Script Deviations!!! Better Off Dead!!! Rate the Scheme!! Iconic Moment!! ITRW!!! SLAVES!!!!!!

The Drunken Botanist!! This episode was upsetting!!! Megatron cradles Berger in his hands!!! Autobots, GO HOME!! Tomatoes! Tanks for the memories!!! Alex Jones doesn’t remember his kids!! Serial Killer News: Robert Pickton!!! A football stadium kangaroo court!! Starscream is everywhere!!! Megatron-brand Fusion Canon Computer Cursor!! Whispers are careless!! Edges of razors!!

Back in the Ark!! Happy Birthday, Ryan!!! Monkey Scrotums!! 1 star reviews. Starscream gives the suk-suk!! But the Mayans!!! Let’s drive to South America!! The Deception Plan: Let’s get drunk!! The Autobot Plan: Let’s get small!! Optimus’s Plan: Let’s build a useless tiny force field!!! Tell that to Sully Sullenberger!! Ride the evil impulses!! Script Deviations!! In the Real World!! We ain’t Good Fellas!!

The episode is kicked off with a discussion of G1 Movie Madness Panel from TFCONDC2019 that was re-broadcast for this weekend's TFcon2020 online experience. Next, it's a special preview of APDC #139, in which bothe MIKE SEIBERT, ALEX JONES, and the APDC team cover the unfortunate mental breakdown of RED ALERT in AUTO BERSERK. The bulk of the episode was SEARING HOT SPILLED MCDONALDS COFFEE in the form of our 3rd party panel coverage. What are the duo looking forward to? What needs to be taken to a landfill? What are the POLITICS of who DID and who DID NOT present at the show? Listen now!

The beef is over!!! Mike Seibert returns!!!! Zhuzhed-up White Russian…On the other hand…!! News Sounder Trivia!!! NEGAVATOR!!! Red Alert: Manchurian Candidate!!! Ravage-vision!! The Autobots are lemmings!!! Ravines!! Megatron has morons on his team!! Gary Busey as everyone!!! Red Alert: More damaged than we thought!!! Script Deviations! Iconic Moments!! Favorite NES Games!!! NEGAVATE!!!!

It’s Spooky Season!! Jellystone Park! Blue-collar Bloodsuckers!! Mariah Carey trivia!! Make me a Screaming Viking!! Shout outs!! Squirt Talk!!! Grapple and Hoist: Thicc Bois!!! Produce the Power Tower!!! Who put a camera there?!? The Constructicons: Green and Purple Apostates!! Buster the Hardhat, “Who...Me...Mine?!” Autobots shoot some hoops!! It’s all about temperature and timing!!!

Do you believe in the power of a curse!?!? Well…that’s respectable!! Pizazzimus Maximus!! Dino Trivia! Let’s do the Time Warp Again!!! Get those hairy fucks back through the wormhole!!! Laser Speculum!! More butt cracks please!!! Tank-on-tank action!! Ryan loses his mind!!! Linnea Quigley is the best!! TANK YOU!!!!

We are thunderstruck!!! Dinobot Island…mysterious energy readings!! The new character floodgates are open!! Powerglide, Perceptor, Blaster, Tracks, Red Alert...and many more!! Bunglbee’s ding in the caboose!! Stop these Dinobot Dumbasses!! Mitt Romney’s yellow-stained Jesus pajamas!! More room for, “Big Sludge!” The tops in air-rescue talent is on its way!! Dinobots are illiterate!?!? Voice Actors! In the Real World!! Rate the scheme!! Iconic Moments!! Real Missouri bullshit!!!

100 year-old Aunt Update! Ryan’s van update!! Inquiring minds want to know!!! Tool sharing!! Shit Bucket!! Chow Line!!! Insecticons…We’re not talkin’ termites!! Foraging the Ozarks!! Soundwave’s a slave!! New voice actors!! In the Real World! Script Deviations!! Iconic Moments!! We’re starting to foam at the mouth!!!

From Grandma’s, givin’ the suck-suck!!! Thanks Earnie!! Frakes or Fiction?! What are you thinkin’? What are we drinkin’!?! Booty Boxes!!! Make up your fucking mind, AKOM!! Stop the drill before everything explodes!! Load and unload…that’s the story of my life!! Sunstreaker…WTF!?!? DeVito-units!! “Mix-Master” origin stories!! In the Real World! Script Deviations!! Sartonian Simpletons!!!