#AskAMan

Anonymous says he met his current partner, lady no.2, in 2021 while he was dating lady no.1 whom he had impregnated but their relationship was tanking because he felt disrespected by lady no.1 who eventually started dating someone else. Anonymous says problems started happening in his relationship with lady no.2 because she had STIs and it was left unexplained where they were coming from. Anonymous says he eventually went through her phone and found dodgy messages between his partner and other guys. Anonymous says they took a break from having sex because of all of this and during that he started having a sexual affair with someone else on the side, his partner found out, but they dealt with it and continued with their relationship. Anonymous says he has since found other texts between her and another guy, he adds that he’s currently going through a loss and she’s not even there for her. Anonymous says this situation reminds him of his previous relationship and he’s not sure if he should move on.

Anonymous says she met an older guy a while back and she fell deep in love with him. Anonymous says last year she found him with another lady at his place, however she forgave him for this and they continued dating. Anonymous says she moved closer to him to be with him and he even got her a job, however, Anonymous says things have faded between them and he doesn’t really talk to her anymore. Anonymous says she’s hurt by this and wants to move on but she’s struggling to deal with her feelings for him and doesn’t want to let him go because despite his behaviour, she’s in love with him. Anonymous wants to know how to get over her feelings.

Anonymous says she met her current partner last October and they have a 9 year age gap. Anonymous says he now wants to marry her and she’s keen but her partner’s mother is not giving them her blessing. Anonymous says her partner’s mom thinks her son still needs to grow and have fun with his age mates, however, anonymous says her partner’s father approves. Anonymous says she did find things from other girls on his phone but they resolved that as it was just exes that wanted him back. Anonymous says they want to move forward with this but the mother is in their way and she’s not sure if she should move forward with the wedding either way.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 12 years and says their relationship has been good. Anonymous says they had to move to separate provinces because of their jobs and says things have now gone pear-shaped. Anonymous says the guy started ghosting her earlier this year and just ignored her out of nowhere. Anonymous says he reached out to her only her birthday just over month ago, and when she posted a status saying she was in hospital he reached out to her checking if she’s ok. Anonymous says she took that opportunity to confront him about his cagey behaviour and that’s when he revealed that he had impregnated another woman. Anonymous says she’s hurt by this and doesn’t know how to react, she adds that she feels like keeping him around so she can avenge this and make him feel what she feels. Anonymous says they haven’t spoken for 2 months now.

Anonymous says she’s been dating her current partner for just under two years now. She says everything was cool in the beginning of the relationship however as things went by he became verbally abusive and they would get into a lot of fights. Anonymous says after a recent fight she confronted him about his behaviour he defended his behaviour and said that anonymous is over sensitive and if she can’t handle his behaviour, she’ll have to leave him. Anonymous is not sure if she is being sensitive or if he’s just bad for her and she should just leave.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner since the second half of last year and says while they were on vacation last year with a group of friends she accidentally found saw a message from a girl who had sent anonymous’ partner images of herself in a bikini. Anonymous says she eventually told him about the picture messages she saw and he explained to her that he wasn’t interested in that other girl and she was obsessed with him, something anonymous confirmed after getting a thorough look at the texts. Anonymous says months later her partner has told anonymous that he feels like he walks on egg shells around her since the incident. Anonymous says her partner has told her that he’s not sure if he wants to continue with the relationship as he feels like she smothers him.

Anonymous says he’s in his mid-twenties and he is currently a student. Anonymous says they’ve been together for four years with his partner and finances have become an issue in their relationship. Anonymous says after he didn’t buy her anything for her birthday, she complained and said anonymous doesn’t do anything for her and doesn’t buy her things, something anonymous disputes. Anonymous says he’s a student and not financially capable of fulfilling the financial expectations that his girlfriend has of him. Anonymous is not sure if he should continue being in a relationship with her as it seems she might need someone who is more financially capable.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 7 years and they have two children together. Anonymous says they took their kids to the clinic this morning and while there she asked her partner to fix their child’s pants and he didn’t like this saying that he didn’t like that she asked him in front of another man as this made him feel small. Anonymous says he added that she’s always making him feel small in front of other people. Anonymous says she understands that he’s going through a lot as he’s unemployed and going through some financial issues with his family, however, she’s not sure how to deal with this.

Anonymous says she’s been dating her partner for the last 6 years and says she came into the relationship with one child and they have one child together. Anonymous says finances are an issue in their relationship as she does everything in the house despite him earning much more than her. Anonymous says she also feels lonely in her relationship because he’s distant and sometimes doesn’t even sleep in their bed and they haven’t had sex in 2 years. Anonymous says she’s HIV positive and feels like he might be staying with her because he feels sorry for her because of her status. Anonymous doesn’t know if she should stay in the relationship.

Anonymous says he met a lady in April 2021 and they started dating even though she already had a boyfriend. Anonymous says a month after their relationship started, the lady requested that anonymous impregnate her. Anonymous says two months after the request was made she fell pregnant, but anonymous says he didn’t take this seriously. Anonymous says they then started fighting a lot and he asked her if he’s the father and anonymous says she said he is the father as she had broken up with her boyfriend. Anonymous says they ended up breaking up with this lady and she got back together with her boyfriend. Anonymous says the lady later told him that he’s not actually the father and her boyfriend is the father. Anonymous says he moved on from this but says dreams that his current partner is having are alerting him and he wants to find out if this is his child. Anonymous says the lady is now married to the guy so he doesn't know how to tackle this.

Anonymous says after 3 years of being with her partner she ended up cheating on him because of his lack of communication, he even disappeared for about 3 months. Anonymous says they ended up breaking up because she cheated on him, however, they’ve now gotten back together years later but anonymous says they seem to be struggling to build their new relationship because he’s struggling to trust her after what she did in their previous relationship.

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for 8 years and says he recently found out that his partner has been cheating on him with a guy that he knows for about 5 months. Anonymous says they are still trying to work on their relationship after this but he’s struggling to move on as he feels like she’s lying to him about the reasons why she cheated on him. Anonymous says her excuse for cheating on him is that the guy was offering her a job and she was just using him to get a job - a job she still doesn’t have. Anonymous is struggling to believe this and doesn’t know what to do.

Anonymous says she’s been with her boyfriend for almost 10 years and after finding out that he cheated on her multiple times she started cheating on him and has been having that affair for about a year. Anonymous says after testing for HIV with her side they started having unprotected sex. Anonymous says she isn’t on any pregnancy prevention methods because after 10 years with her partner she never fell pregnant, however, she is now pregnant and says based on when she slept with her side, she believes he’s the father of the baby. She’s told her side about the pregnancy but doesn’t know how to go about telling her partner.

Anonymous says she’s been dating her current partner for two years on and off. Anonymous says the guy is rich and when he wanted to marry her after two weeks of knowing her she was suspicious and suspected that he was trying to do this for witchcraft related reasons, so she held back a bit on their relationship and said no to the marriage proposal but months later they continued with a more casual relationship. Anonymous says they eventually got serious in their relationship but she found out that he married someone else while they were still more casual. Anonymous says she’s continued to date him for a year knowing that he’s married and says she’s willing to become a second wife but she’s not sure if that’s the right thing to do on her part.

Anonymous says she’s been with her husband for almost 7 years now and they have one child together and anonymous has two of her own kids. Anonymous says her partner is constantly cheating on her and it’s been happening throughout their relationship. Anonymous says she’s been confronting him about this and it led to him kicking her out of their house last December, saying he’s done with their marriage. Anonymous says she keeps going back to him and can’t help it. She doesn’t know how to move forward from this situation.

Anonymous says his partner has a lot of male friends, which is something he noticed as their now 6 month relationship developed. Anonymous says he told his partner that he’s not happy with her having male friends and thinks she should drop her friends of the opposite sex. Anonymous says despite them discussing this issue, she continued to go out with a particular male friend who takes her out for dinners. Anonymous says she keeps hiding the meet ups she has with this guy. Anonymous says they did break up but she wants to get back together and he doesn’t know if he can handle the fact that she has male friends and wants to keep them despite his discomfort.

Anonymous says before he met his current girlfriend he had had his heart broken and had decided that he would never fall deeply for anyone. Anonymous says despite this he slowly fell in love with his partner who he met in 2021. Anonymous says he found her partner with one child and a year into their relationship he made a request that they have a child together. Anonymous says his partner was not ready for financial reasons and when they both finally had work they decided to try and anonymous’ partner did fall pregnant but she ended up aborting the baby despite him being against that. Anonymous says after all this he met someone new and impregnated that lady. Anonymous says he initially kept this child a secret from his partner but ended up telling his partner about the child. Anonymous says this has affected their relationship and he now suspects that his partner is cheating on him.

Anonymous says she hasn’t had a relationship with her father for about 15 years and recently she asked him for help and he couldn’t help her which triggered her and her trauma. Anonymous says this has highlighted how she struggles to deal with men and doesn’t know how to relationship with men, especially the father of her child because of her childhood trauma. Anonymous says she wants to learn how to love herself and be able to love fully in relationships.

Anonymous says he’s been with his girlfriend for 8 years now. Anonymous says they had an abortion early in their relationship because of the circumstances at the time and that is now affecting their relationship. Anonymous says both him and his partner want to have a baby however he says his partner says she doesn’t want to have a baby with him because she feels like he forced the abortion on her and she’s also worried about anonymous’ toxic family. Anonymous says his partner still wants to be in a relationship with him despite this. Anonymous says he doesn’t understand what to do in a situation like this.

Anonymous says he’s been with his girlfriend for 4 yers now and things have been fine in their relationship, but the issue is his girlfriend’s mother. Anonymous says he was trying to get his girlfriend a gift and went to his girlfriend’s mother for advice on the gift, however, anonymous says while he was there his girlfriend’s mother was making subtle advances at him and they ended up sleeping with each other, anonymous says he is now having an affair with his girlfriend’s mother. Anonymous says he's tired of this situation and doesn't know how to get out of it.

Anonymous says he’s been in a relationship for 4 years and he says they have two kids with his partner. Anonymous says he liked a different lady before meeting his partner but that lady friend zoned him and he moved on. Anonymous says that lady then came back into his life while he was already with his current partner and he had a bit of an affair with the lady. Anonymous says the affair ended when his wife fell pregnant but his partner later found the messages between him and this lady. Anonymous says they got passed this with his partner but as time went by his partner got very angry and always lashing out at him. Anonymous says they went through a few things after this, emotionally and financially, which strained the relationship, anonymous even had an affair with someone else. Anonymous has now broken up with his partner, but is not sure if he should get her back.

Anonymous and his partner have been together for a year now. Anonymous says his partner is great, however, recently he saw his partner’s social media status and she had posted about how she buried her previous long term partner and hasn’t been the same ever since. Anonymous says he was taken aback by this status and they don’t really talk about her past relationship. Anonymous confronted her about the status and she has apologised to him for how it made him feel. He’s not sure if he’s overplaying the whole thing.

Anonymous says she’s been in a relationship with a man for a year, she’s 56 and he’s 59, she has two kids and he has 5 kids. Anonymous says she makes more money than the guy and he’s constantly spending her money on him and his grown up kids. Anonymous says she feels like he’s using her because she’s financially more capable. She’s loves him but isn’t sure if he loves her in the same way.

Anonymous says says he dated girl no.1 from 2017 to 2021, he then started dating girl no.2 in 2022 and things faded between them earlier this year, they are still together but they are not really on good terms. Anonymous says he’s now back to having a relationship with girl no.1, however girl no.1 is now in the process of being “lobolad” by another man who she now has a baby with. Anonymous says they are still carrying on with their affair with girl no.1, he’s not sure if he should remain in this situationship with girl no.1.

Anonymous says his partner caught him cheating on her late last year with another woman, which he did in reaction to her cheating on him. Anonymous says they initially broke up after this but got back together looking to work things out. Anonymous says since they’ve been back together his partner keeps bringing up the fact the he cheated on her and she doesn’t seem to be getting over what happened. Anonymous says he wants to be with her but doesn’t know if he can live like that.

Anonymous says he’s married with 3 kids and is currently dating 3 different women and has been with them for a few years now. Anonymous says they all support him financially and they know he’s married. Anonymous says he’s tired because this puts him on a very hectic schedule of handling all 4 of his partners and he doesn’t know what to do.

Anonymous says she met her partner in September last year and they moved in together in January of this year, and got married in February. Anonymous says everything has been fine however she feels like her husband is lazy, she basis this on the fact that he keeps quitting his jobs and doesn’t give any valid reasons. Anonymous says this puts a huge financial burden on her. Anonymous says she’s calling today because he has once again quit his job, she doesn’t know what to do because he’s generally a good husband in all other departments.

Anonymous says she got married to her now ex husband in 2019 despite him finding out that she had cheated on him in the early stages of their long distance relationship. Anonymous says just before they got married her partner cheated on her and impregnated another lady. They continued their relationship and got married. Anonymous says this time last year she found out he was cheating on her again and broke up with him. Anonymous says she started a new relationship with someone else but ended it and got back together with him, however he still cheated again and they’ve gone their separate ways. Anonymous says he continues to reach out to her and she also tends to stalk him on social media. Anonymous says she’s now started talking to him about getting back together again, however he’s in a relationship with someone else and has promised anonymous that he’ll leave the other woman for her. Anonymous says she feels like this happened because she cheated at the beginning of their relationship. They are still married.

Anonymous says he met his partner late in 2022. Anonymous says 4 months into their relationship his ex started texting him because the ex had a miscarriage during their relationship and she needed them to do a cleansing for that miscarriage. Anonymous says his partner found out that he was in contact with his ex and he explained the reason for this, which she understood but told anonymous to now cut all contact with his ex. Anonymous says months later after seeing his ex, he started texting with her again and his partner found out about these texts which caused a rift between them, however they managed to keep the relationship going. Anonymous says while on a recent vacation he realised that his ex might be watching his social media stories, which led to him posting more of his partner for the ex to see. Anonymous told his partner about this and she later got upset and says she feels like he’s just using her to get to his ex. Anonymous says his partner wants to end their relationship and he doesn’t know what to do.

Anonymous has been with his partner for 16 years and they now have 3 kids together. Anonymous says he did start lobola proceedings before they moved in together however the process wasn’t completed because he focused on buying a home for them in their village. Anonymous says he’s since tried to complete the process of lobola but says his partner’s family has been postponing having a meeting with his family. Anonymous says a few months ago his mother passed away and his partner didn’t come and she didn’t even send his kids to come and bury their grandmother. Anonymous says his partner then suddenly moved out of their home and moved to her parent’s house with the kids. Anonymous says her partner’s mother then told him that her partner is sick but they shared very little information with him. Anonymous says he managed to get his kids to come back home so they can go to school and 2 weeks ago she came back to their house unannounced. Anonymous says she’s still not sharing information about why she was gone. Anonymous is note sure if the relationship is worth salvaging.

Anonymous says she feels like she’s constantly getting cheated on in relationships. She says she keeps giving her all in her relationships but her partners always cheat on her. Anonymous has also shared about being abused in one of her relationships and adds that her partners also leave her for women who are more economically successful than her.

Anonymous says she’s had a long friendship with guy no.1 and over the years they’ve hooked up a few times but they are mostly just friends and anonymous is not interesting in dating guy no.1. Anonymous says in 2020 she started things with guy no.2 and they were living together during the pandemic and their relationship was going well and she eventually moved in with guy no.2 because she was waiting for her own place. Anonymous says things got shaky with guy no.2 in 2021 because of her relationship with guy no.1 and they spent most of that year trying to rebuild their relationship. Anonymous says later that year she found out that guy no.2 had been dating another person for two years while they were together. Anonymous says they tried to work on their relationship but they ended up breaking up. Anonymous says they rekindled things in 2023 but she realised he was still cheating on her with other women. Anonymous says she's wondering if she should remain in this relationship.

Anonymous has been with his partner since 2007 , however, he says he cheated on his partner in the early days of their relationship which he thinks has led to her being sceptical about marrying him even now years later. Anonymous says their relationship has been generally ok however he lost his job in 2019 and she became the sole breadwinner which led to him realising that she has a gambling problem. Anonymous says they’ve had various financial challenges over the last few years that have strained their relationship and anonymous says she hides a lot about her finances. Anonymous says his partner has now asked him to get a vasectomy but he’s not sure he wants to do it for his partner who doesn’t want to marry him. Anonymous feels like he’s not being heard in the relationship and doesn’t know what to do about all these issues they are having.

Anonymous says she met the father of her child back in 2017 and she moved in with him early on and they had a child together. Anonymous says he had started the lobola process but their relationship soured and they broke up. Anonymous says she moved back home after this and their first child died while they were separated. Anonymous moved back to the same city and they started dating again. Anonymous says things tensed up in their relationship because they couldn’t agree on how they want to live and the type of home they want to live in. Anonymous says she moved to her own place and built herself a house since he was refusing to do this. Anonymous says they separated but they got back together and he moved in with her at her house as he was now broke. Anonymous says they are now separated again because she found him speaking to a strange woman on the phone. Anonymous says she doesn’t know if she should stay with him as she also feels like he’s taking advantage of her because she’s now more financially capable than he is.

Anonymous says she’s currently separated from her husband, who she’s been with for almost 20 years. Anonymous says over the years in their marriage they’ve had issues with her husband’s family who don’t approve of anonymous. Anonymous has insinuated that her husband has been cheating on her many times over the years and they’ve had many issues. Anonymous says she has since separated from him and months after their separation he is now texting her and claiming that he misses anonymous. Anonymous has now reconnected with another guy in the middle of their separation and they are now dating. Anonymous says the new guy is a bit too much and demands a lot from her. Anonymous says she still loves her husband and doesn’t know if she should let go of him or continue with the new guy.

Anonymous says she’s been married to her husband for the last two years and all has been well however a few days ago she was able to see messages on his computer of him chatting to another lady. Anonymous says she confronted the lady and this lady then told anonymous about the relationship she has with anonymous’ husband. It turns out he’s been dating this lady since last September, to a point where this lady even fell pregnant. Anonymous says this all happened while she was pregnant with their now newborn baby. Anonymous is not sure what to do about this.

Anonymous says her relationship with her partner was fine until she gave birth to their child and he changed on her and wouldn’t even update her about his whereabouts and would avoid her. Anonymous says she confronted him about his changed behaviour and he promised to change but he didn’t really change. Anonymous says she’s recently found out that his behaviour changed because he had actually entered into a new relationship with someone else and impregnated that person. Anonymous says she’s walked away from him and wants to know how to go about moving on from this relationship.

Anonymous says he was married to his ex for 8 years. When they came into the relationship she had two children and he had one child. Anonymous says he became and ill and his wife couldn’t handle it and asked for a divorce while he was in hospital. Anonymous says his ex then went on her own but her son, who was also ill at the time, stayed with anonymous. Anonymous says a couple of years after his ex wife’s disappearance, her son is now thriving and she has come back in the picture wanting to have a relationship with him. Anonymous says his step-son doesn’t want anything to do with his mother, despite anonymous encouraging him to do so, anonymous doesn’t know what to do.

Anonymous says she had an on and off relationship with her high school sweetheart because their families were against it, claiming that the two were related. Anonymous says she eventually got married to someone else and they have children together. She says things soured in her marriage and she rekindled things with her high school sweetheart and she was ready to leave her marriage for him, but he died a month ago which spoiled her plans to leave her husband. Anonymous says she has now been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and moved back home after her husband said he would’ve never married her had he known she has mental health struggles. Anonymous is not sure if she should still leave her marriage.

Anonymous says she’s in her early 30s with a 5 year-old son. Anonymous says she’s trying to get back into the dating game but says she thinks she struggles with getting in touch with her feminine side in relationships and instead she’s very masculine and wonders if she’s not giving men the chance to be a “man” in the relationship. Anonymous says she suspects she’s this way as a result of her being sexually abused when she was 6 years old.

Anonymous has been with her partner for 10 years and says her mom never approved of their relationship from the beginning. Anonymous says they’ve had a child for the last 3 years and her family has still not changed their attitude towards her partner. Anonymous says she moved out of home because of the tension her relationship was causing at home and found her own place, however, she says her moving out of home changed the dynamics in her relationship and shortly after she moved, her partner broke things off with her saying he needed time by himself and to heal from everything that’s happened. Anonymous says her now ex says he still loves her and she sees him everyday when he comes to see their child. Anonymous says she doesn’t know if she should keep pursuing something with him.

Anonymous is married with 4 children and she’s been with her partner since high school 20 years ago. Anonymous says in the beginning years of their relationship, anonymous’ partner cheated on her and she wanted to leave but he convinced her that he was serious about her by completing the lobola and finalising their marriage. Anonymous says the issue now is that her husband lost his job and as he was struggling to find his feet they consulted with a traditional healer who told anonymous and her husband that the lady anonymous’ husband had an affair with affected has put some sort of spell on him that won’t allow him to become financially successful.

Anonymous is in love with two guys. She says she met one guy while they were volunteering for an organisation, she says they lost contact with guy no.1 after he disappeared for weeks. Anonymous met guy no.2 at her new job and she decided to go with it as guy no.1 was not getting back to her. Anonymous says things are great with guy no.2 who takes care of her. Anonymous says 9 weeks after disappearing she ran into guy no.1 at her local shopping complex and he hadn’t told her he was coming back, anonymous says his excuse was that he lost anonymous’ no. and that’s why he couldn’t get hold of her while he was gone…

Anonymous says she dated a certain lady, lady no.1, back in 2011 and they never actually broke up, their relationship just faded. Anonymous says they recently reconnected and lady no.1 told anonymous that she’s currently married but she’s frustrated in her marriage and wants to have a relationship with anonymous. Anonymous says they then started dating but along the way anonymous says she had to find her own girlfriend because lady no.1 is married and not giving anonymous all the attention she needs. Anonymous says she told lady no.1 that she now has a girlfriend and lady no.1 is not happy with this. Anonymous says lady no.1 has asked anonymous to break up with her girlfriend, but lady no.1 refuses to divorce her wife. Anonymous says things have gotten sour between them and she doesn't know what to do.

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for a few years and they moved in together in order for her to be closer to her tertiary institution. After she was done, she moved out as their parents said they need to do things right way in order to live together. Anonymous says they had some troubles in their relationship and he says he’s been verbally abusive towards her which affected their relationship. Anonymous says he also felt like his partner was too sensitive even when he’s trying resolve conflicts in their relationship. Anonymous says he eventually broke up with his partner out of frustration. He now wants her back and says she’s being advised not to get back together with him. Anonymous says he’s not sure if he should continue pursuing her.

Anonymous says she has 3 kids with three different guys. She says things are ok with the father of her first child as they were together at a young age. Anonymous says she broke up with the father of her second child after he cheated on her after she fell pregnant. Anonymous then moved on and had a third child, she says things were initially fine with the father of her third child but they’ve now broken up because of his cheating ways and the way he treated her second born child.

Anonymous says he got divorced in 2021 and after about a year and half last year he started dating again. He says things were fine but her partner started behaving in a weird manner, not taking his calls and avoiding him. Anonymous says they now live together but earlier this year she started ignoring him more and wasn’t as responsive to his calls and messages. Anonymous says she then complained about him sending her ‘check-in messages’ and asked him to stop. Anonymous says he started spying on her phone and found out that she was in fact chatting with three other men. Anonymous says she seems to have dodgy dealings with these guys and she’s also currently having an affair with one of them.

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner since around 2017 and says this past Good Friday he visited her place and after she left for work he stayed behind, and wanted to surprise her by cleaning her place. Anonymous says as he was doing that he found ARVs hidden in a shoe box. Anonymous says about two months have gone by and he hasn’t gotten the courage to speak to her about this.

Anonymous says when she called us last year she had broken things off with guy no.1 who had slowly stopped giving her attention and she moved on from him. A few months after that she started dating another guy no.2, who was the perfect partner until she discovered that he was lying about being in the process of divorcing his wife. Anonymous says she broke things off with guy no.2, she got reconciled with guy no.1 but things ended because guy no.1 wasn’t happy about how messy her situation was with guy no.2. Anonymous says she went into depression after all this and she now feels like she’s struggling to date other men.