#AskAMan

Anonymous says he met a guy last year and they’ve been dating since then. Anonymous says everything was fine until the guy started acting strange.   Anonymous says they once had a conflict & as they were in middle of the fight his partner decided he was leaving, and some other guy came to pick up his partner and they left anonymous at his place.  Anonymous says he tracked his partner on his phone and noticed that his partner went to the other guy’s place. Anonymous also says he found pictures of his partner with that guy looking cozy on the beach.  Anonymous says they met up days later and he confronted his partner about this. Anonymous says his partner was ignoring him, focusing on his phone and this led to them getting into a physical fight.  Anonymous says his partner pressed assault charges against him and he ended up in jail for weeks, before his partner dropped the charges.  Anonymous says his partner reached out to him and they’ve rekindled their relationship. Anonymous says it seems his partner is still hooking up with other people, but despite this he is struggling to let him go. 

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for two years but says they’ve had an issue with infidelity in their relationship since the very beginning. Anonymous says she’s always finding texts on his phone of him chatting with other girls and flirting with them. She says she’s confronted him about this several times, but it keeps happening.  Anonymous says in the middle of all of this he doesn’t want her to chat with other guys. Anonymous says there’s also a particular girl who he can’t seem to let go of.  Anonymous says he is now accusing her of bringing up the past every time she brings up what he did with those other girls.

Anonymous says she met a guy no.1 in January and things quickly sparked between them, and the guy moved into her place soon after they started dating.  Anonymous says the guy lies a lot, for starters, he lied about his age, saying he’s in his early thirties but it turned out he’s actually in his early twenties. Anonymous says though he seemed to have a proper job she’s also realised that he might be scamming people on social media.  Anonymous says guy no.2 is someone she was with before guy no.1, she says he’s trying to get back into her life even though he had ghosted her when they dated previously. Anonymous says guy no.2 has seemingly changed and there could be a chance to rekindle things with him.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for two years, they live together, their families know about each other, and their relationship is moving in the marriage direction.  Anonymous says she recently had a dream that there is something funny happening in their relationship, after this, anonymous says she looked through his phone and found that he’s still following his ex on Tik Tok and has liked all 11 of her posts.  Anonymous says they already had a fight about him following his ex on social media and she thought this was resolved. Anonymous says she’s now confused on how to feel about this.

Anonymous says he met his current partner 8 years ago, after being single for 3 years. Anonymous says they started dating soon after meeting.  Anonymous says his partner came into their relationship with two children and they have since had four more children together, she is currently pregnant with twins.  Anonymous says that the problem in their relationship seems to be his partner’s family as they tend to meddle into their relationship. Anonymous says currently he’s trying to get married to his partner but there are some wranglings regarding the lobola amount anonymous must pay…

Anonymous says she’s a mother of two and she broke up with the father of her children back in 2015. Anonymous says she met another guy shortly after this but the relationship failed because she didn’t want the guy to meet her kids as they were young.  Anonymous says she waited for her kids to grow before dating again and she’s now in a relationship with someone who she has introduced to her kids and they’ve been together for a while now, but anonymous says she feels like he’s closed off and doesn’t share his true feelings. Anonymous says she feels like he’s not emotionally mature enough to be a family man, as he also has a terrible relationship with his own family.  Anonymous says even though he’d like to have a child with her, she’s also realised that he’s lacking when it comes to having paternal instincts.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for a year and after he lost his job last November, the partner moved back to his home town.  Anonymous says after their relationship became long distant, they began to struggle with communication and anonymous says she ended up pushing him away, as she was hiding somethings from him.  Anonymous says this caused a rift between them and he ended having a relationship with someone else and impregnating that person. Anonymous says the guy has told her that he does love the girl he’s impregnated, adding that he’d like to date both anonymous and the other girl.  Anonymous doesn’t know what to do.

Anonymous says she’s been with her husband for 17 years since they were in high school and they’ve been married for about 8 years.  Anonymous says post high school she studied further, got her qualifications and has been financially stable since then, on the other hand she says her husband lacks ambition and hasn’t worked much this whole time that they’ve been together, which means she’s been supporting their household, which now includes two children as well.  Anonymous says she eventually broke things off with him as things got toxic in their home but eventually got back together with him. Anonymous says their relationship never really got better and describes her husband as being emotionally and financially abusive…

Anonymous says she’s been in a relationship with her partner for 3 years and says their relationship couldn’t be better, however, anonymous says she started cheating on her partner, with someone who lives on the same street as her mother.  Anonymous says she then found out that her side piece was cheating on her and they broke things off. Anonymous says even though things are great with her partner, she finds herself hurt by what happened with her side piece and she’s struggling to let her go.  Anonymous says she is really happy with her partner and doesn’t want to leave her.

Anonymous says his friend broke up with his partner 2 months ago, after the break up, anonymous says he started chatting with his partner’s ex and they hit things off.  Anonymous says things quickly got serious between him and his friend’s ex and that’s when he decided to tell his friend that he’d like to his ex. Anonymous says his friend told him he doesn’t approve of this relationship and their friendship would be over if anonymous continued to date his ex.  Anonymous says they have slept with each other’s flings in the past, so he thought his friend would be ok with this.  Anonymous says he’s not sure who to choose, as he’s in love with his friend’s ex but also finds some value in his friendship, as they are a part of a group of friends.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for just over a year now and they’ve known each other for about 10 years altogether.  Anonymous says they were initially in a long-distance relationship and things were great but his behaviour changed when she moved to the same area as him.  Anonymous says she feels like even though she’s goegraphically closer now, he doesn’t pay much attention to her, shows little support and hardly initiates conversations with her.  Anonymous says they don’t even talk much now and she doesn’t know what to do.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for two years and everything was fine between them from the on set but things changed after she became pregnant.  Anonymous says after finding out about the pregnancy they moved in together but his character changed and they started fighting a lot, to a point that he moved out of their place.  Anonymous says most recently he asked him for money to do a pregnancy scan but this turned into a fight and her partner accused her of using him for his money, saying anonymous doesn’t even care about his kids.  Anonymous says she doesn’t know where that is coming from as she’s never relied on him financially and in fact he was unemployed when they started dating.

Anonymous says mid last year she found a lady on social media who she liked but only DM’d her earlier this in January and confessed her feelings.  Anonymous says it turned out the lady also liked her and so they started dating online, as they’ve never met. Anonymous says their relationship was going well until Anonymous wasn’t in a good mood one day and took those emotions out on the lady.  Anonymous says things weren’t the same since that day, and the lady eventually broke things off with her. Anonymous doesn’t know what to do as she loves this lady a lot!

Anonymous says she met guy no.1 last year at her new church after moving to a new province. Anonymous says they started dating shortly after their first interaction.  Anonymous says things were good between them until she went back home to visit and says when she came back to her new area she realised that his energy had changed, and upon searching on his phone, she found that he was still chatting to and spending time with  other girls.  Anonymous confronted him about this and he explained that he did already have thing with one of the girls while they started with their thing…

Anonymous says she’s been with her current partner for 5 years and says he’s a great partner and takes care of her, and he’s even paid lobola for her.  Anonymous says her problem is she feels a void in her relationship, and says there’s no spark and passion, it’s just boring. Anonymous says she likes him but doesn’t think he’s the one.  Anonymous says one of the issues in their relationship is that they don’t have a good communication.  Anonymous is not sure if she should fight for the relationship or just break up with him.

Anonymous says she met her current husband when they were in high school, but they couldn’t really be together at the time. Anonymous says over the years they’d meet up and hook up, but never really became official.  Anonymous says they went their separate ways at some point and during that time she  had a baby with someone else. Anonymous says they eventually got together and they got married.  Anonymous says her partner used to cheat on her a lot with different people, and says she initially brushed it off as something men do, but as time went by it became too much for her, and she separated from her husband. Anonymous says he’s been asking her to forgive him for a while now, and she’s not sure if she should get back together with him.

Anonymous says he met a lady in 2023 and their relationship was soaring until the father of her child, who wasn’t present when anonymous met the lady, came back into the picture last December. Anonymous says the lady started communicating more with the father of her child at that point. Anonymous says the lady then attend a family funeral after the the father of her child’s brother past away. This led to the lady rekindling things with the father of her child and she essentially got back together with him.

Anonymous says he and his girlfriend started dating in 2018 and he says he was clear from the onset that he wants to have a child, she was ok with that only if they got married first, something anonymous says he wasn’t ready for.  Anonymous says years later he started having an affair with one of his partner’s friends and that went on secretly for a while. Anonymous says he brought up having a child again, and again his girlfriend said no and told him he could go outside and impregnate someone else.  Anonymous says after the fight with his girlfriend, he slept with the friend without protection and she fell pregnant with his child.  Anonymous says he confessed this to his partner and after meeting with her family they ended up breaking things off, but anonymous has now managed to patch things up with his girlfriend who says she’ll only get back together with him on one condition…

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 6 years, they have a child together and she came into their relationship with another child. Anonymous her partner is terrible with money and doesn’t include her in his financial decisions when he has money.  Anonymous says before he lost his job and didn’t have money, he would go out partying with friends and would cheat on her, but come back crying for forgiveness.  Anonymous says he’s now unemployed and broke and his behaviour has changed, he’s a better partner, shows her love and things are generally good.  Anonymous is worried that once he’s back on his feet, he’ll go back to his old ways and she’s no sure if she should leave him even though things are great right now.

Anonymous says she met a guy while working at a religious organisation years ago and something developed between them but before anything could happen the guy told anonymous that they couldn’t be together due to his position in the organisation.  Anonymous says the guy married someone else about a year later after he told her they couldn’t be. By the time he got married, anonymous had already moved to another province because of work.  Anonymous says she also got married, and after some time the guy contacted anonymous and told her that he missed her and was sorry for everything that happened.  Anonymous says he told her that he was willing to divorce his wife for her but he couldn’t because of his position. Anonymous says they met up and their relationship got sexual but the guy started avoiding her after this.  Anonymous says it’s been a year since he started ignoring her, but she’s struggling to get over him.

Anonymous says she met a guy a month ago and they immediately hit things off. Anonymous says three days into the relationship she snooped around and found out from one her friends that the guy is dating one of her friends in their neighbourhood.  Anonymous says she confronted him about this, however, they’ve continued to date as she says he won’t let her go. Anonymous says she also wants to break things off with him because he might be involved in dodgy businesses.  Anonymous says she also has another guy that she dated previously, who she really likes, but he is married.   Anonymous says dating is showing her flames and she doesn’t know what to do.

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for about 5 years, they live together and he’s even paid lobola partially. Anonymous says his partner was pregnant at some point but unfortunately she had a stillbirth. Anonymous says things changed in their relationship from this point. Anonymous says she started drinking and partying more, and would blame anonymous for her stillbirth. Anonymous says he broke things off with her because it was too much but got back together with her months later after she asked him to forgive her.  Anonymous says she continued to be messy and he has now moved out again. Anonymous says he loves her and still wants to be with her but he’s not sure if it can work between them.

Anonymous says she met her partner in late 2023, she says they started as friends and it eventually turned into a romantic relationship. Anonymous says from the onset, they were honest with each other, had great communication and even shared about their past relationship traumas.   Anonymous says things have now taken a turn in their relationship after she found suspicious texts between him and another lady on his phone. Anonymous says she confronted him about this, he said they would talk about it, but that’s never happened.  Anonymous says the communication in their relationship has broken down and she doesn’t understand where they are at in their relationship.  Anonymous just wants him to be open and honest with her so she can better understand what’s happening between them.

Anonymous says she met a guy 4 years ago and 5 months into their relationship he told her that he was in a relationship with someone else, after initially denying this fact. Anonymous says he told that her was with the mother of his child and they live together but their relationship is not great.  Anonymous says despite this fact, he’s a great partner who takes care of her and is always there for her which makes it so difficult to leave him.  She says 4 years later she doesn’t even know where he lives, he’s promised her that their relationship will eventually turn into something more but she’s not tired of the situation.

Anonymous says he his ex partner in varsity in 2019 and they started dating back then. Anonymous says post varsity, they moved in together and he was taking care of both of them financially at the time.  Anonymous says their relationship was tumultuous, there was infidelity and lots of other conflicts in their relationship.  Anonymous says he then got a job opportunity in another area and their relationship became long distant. This added fuel to the fire and they ended up breaking up.  Anonymous suspects that she might have been cheating on him while they were still together. He’s tried to get back together with her, but it hasn’t worked out.  Anonymous wonders if he did the right thing by giving up on their relationship, especially because they have a child together.

Anonymous called last year and told us that her husband can’t seem to keep a job as he finds jobs and then resigns unreasonably after a short period of working.  At the time anonymous was advised to stand by her man, bring in the family and also check if there could be witchcraft involved.  It’s 7 months later since she called Ask a Man and she says she’s tried all that and it doesn’t seem to be helping. Anonymous says she wants to give up now.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 3 years now and and she gave birth to their child late last year.  Anonymous says after giving birth she found out that her partner was cheating on her. Anonymous says they patched things up after the infidelity, however, she’s struggling to move on from the cheating.  Anonymous says she still loves him and wants to be with him but needs help with forgiving him and moving on from his cheating.

Anonymous says she’s been married to her husband for 10 years and they’ve known each from childhood as they grew up in the same area.  Anonymous says a few years ago, while her and her husband were going through a rough patch, she met someone else and says the connection with this person was strong and passionate.  Anonymous says they’ve eventually worked things out with her husband and she agreed with her husband to let the  other guy go and focus on them.  Anonymous says she never really stopped thinking about this other guy and he has now made contact with her after about a year and a half, and their connnection is very intense. Anonymous says things are great with her husband but she feels like the other guy could be the one and wonders if she can live with never trying with this guy.

Anonymous has currently been with his partner of 10 years and they are in a customary marriage. Anonymous says his partner only realised after the fact that because they completed the lobola process they couldn’t sign a prenup as they are already in a customary marriage.  Anonymous says his partner said at the time that she would never be happy in their relationship as she wanted to be married out of community of property because she doesn’t want anonymous’ children to benefit from her assets.  Anonymous says years later his partner separated from him as she wasn’t happy. Anonymous says time has gone by and his partner is still saying she’s not ready to get back together with him.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 10 years and he’s paid half the lobola to her family and 3 years ago and they now also have a child.  Anonymous says her partner once cheated on her and after going their separate ways for about 6 months because of this, she eventually forgave and they got back together.  Anonymous says it’s years later now and he’s been acting dodgy over the last few months. Anonymous says he tends to go out with friends and disappear on her without explanation. Anonymous says they fought about his behaviour last week and he left again and as it stands right now he doesn’t know where he is.  Anonymous says she doesn’t know if she should stay in this relationship, as she suspects that he could be cheating on her again.

Anonymous says he met his ex wife 20 years ago in varsity and they immediately clicked but things came to an end when she dropped out of school. They reconnected 15 years later and ended u getting married.  Anonymous says their relationship was great, however they went through a lot: she lost her parents in consecutive years and he got sick. Anonymous says it became a lot on them and they ended up divorcing.  Anonymous says some time has gone by and they started talking to each other again and sparks are flying. Anonymous says they could get back together, but he’s not sure if he can risk  his heart.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 5 years, they’ve been living with each other for 3 years and they have a 1 year-old child.  Anonymous says she has an 8 year-old child and spoke to him about her child moving from her grandmother and living with them. Anonymous says her partner then went home to see his family and when he came back earlier this year, anonymous’ older child had moved in to their place.  Anonymous says since he’s been back, he’s been offish and she thinks he doesn’t like her older son. This tension led to them fighting and anonymous eventually moved out of that place and back to her own house.  Anonymous says they are not really speaking and are even making arrangements for visitations. Anonymous is not sure how to move forward

Anonymous saying she’s recently moved to a new city  and then things ended in her relationship with her previous partner because of the distance.  Anonymous says she’s now met someone new, soon after the break-up, but feels like maybe she’s rushing into things after the break up.  Anonymous says she feels like the new guy is different to the other guys she’s dated. She feels like he’s dominant, but also bordering on being controlling. Anonymous is not sure if she’s just feeling this way because she’s fresh from a break-up.

Anonymous called last year having troubles in her relationship and adding that she would like to be in a throuple type of situation where she would be with her man, at the time, and another woman, all dating each other at the same time. Anonymous says after calling into the show, she decided to take a break to work on herself, as she felt like she was attracting the same type of guys she doesn’t want to be with.  Anonymous says she’s been doing well on this journey but now feels like she’s still attracting the same type of men that she feels are not good for her and treat her poorly…

Anonymous says she met and started dating her partner in 2020. Anonymous says a year later in 2021 the guy started the lobola process in order to marry her.   Anonymous says they were blessed with a baby in 2022, but after giving birth she found out that her partner was cheating on her while she was at home nursing their new baby.  Anonymous says they separated after the infidelity incident, and got back together after family intervention months later. Anonymous says she’s recently given birth to their child.  Anonymous says her partner is now currently driving her car but she’s noticed, via tracker, that he’s been making some questionable trips to BNBs and when she tracked him down and confronted him about this, he denied having an affair…

Anonymous says she’s speaking on her friend’s behalf…  Anonymous says she met a guy who’s son plays soccer with her son. They knew each other but only started talking when the guy gave anonymous a lift with her son to soccer practice.  Anonymous says the lifts continued and feelings grew between them, even though the guy has a girlfriend. Anonymous says they caught feelings for each other and started having a relationship.  Anonymous says the problem is that he tends to disappear on him and then comes back all lovey lovey. Anonymous is not sure how to deal with the situation.

Anonymous says she’s been dating a guy for about 2 months, after meeting him in November last year. Anonymous says she started dating this guy a while after her previous relationship with her ex who says is a narcissist.  Anonymous says weeks into the relationship he started showing signs of narcissism. She says his behaviour is reminding her of her ex and it’s turning her off. Anonymous says she’s slowly fazed him out of her life and he’s been trying to get back in.  Anonymous says he has now resorted to saying that it’s ok if they don’t to date, they can just have sexual relationship and he’ll pay her for this.  Anonymous says she still kind of likes him and finds herself confused by this offer and the meaning of their relationship.

Anonymous says she has two kids from different fathers and says she’s now in a new relationship with a new guy who she says loves her and her kids.  Anonymous says things have been going well in their relationship until the mother of her partner’s two children found out about their relationship and has now sent those two children to come live with anonymous and her partner.  Anonymous says she loves her partner’s kids but says she’s struggling with now raising 4 children, and says she bares most of the burden of taking care of the 4 children.  Anonymous doesn’t know how to deal with this.

Anonymous says she was married for 5 years and divorced her husband in 2023. Anonymous says later that year she got into a long distance situationship with a new guy.  Anonymous says communication is a bit of a problem in their relationship, she says he tends to disappear for days without saying anything and she leaves things that way but he has complained that he feels like her behaviour indicates that she is not that into him.  Anonymous is wondering if she really is disconnected in the relationship, she says every other aspect of the relationship is good, and doesn’t know what to do.

Anonymous says she got married to her partner in 2020 after a year of being together and just before they had their first child.  Anonymous says at the beginning of their marriage she noticed that he wasn’t being fully transparent about his finances and she confronted him about that and that’s when he came clean and revealed details of the money he’s spending on his mom.  Anonymous says as time went by, her husband’s mother started calling anonymous, telling her that since she came into her son’s life, he doesn’t support her financially like he used to before he got married to anonymous.  Anonymous says her partner’s mother and other family members don’t have boundaries and are often rude when speaking to anonymous. Anonymous says she’s spoken to her partner about this but he doesn’t seem to be confronting his family about their behaviour.

Anonymous says she met an amazing guy last year in July, after breaking up with a man who she says was toxic and a serial cheater.  Anonymous says the relationship with the new guy has been going well but recently she unblocked her toxic ex and he ended up calling her and they spoke on the phone.  The issue now is that anonymous’ current partner found out about this call and is now angry at anonymous for unblocking her ex and not telling her current partner about this call.  Anonymous says she had told her partner about her ex and how horrible he was to her. Anonymous says her partner is now not speaking to her and won’t hear her out, she doesn’t know what to do.

Anonymous says she started dating her partner in 2009 while she was in matric. She says the relationship went well and they eventually got married and now have 3 kids together.  Anonymous says in 2022 while she was pregnant with their third child she found out that her husband had impregnated someone else. Anonymous says this caused a rift in their relationship and she ended up in a situation where she was fighting to get him back and he was refusing.  Anonymous says her husband then lost his job and she took him back in her life an supported him, even when she lost her job, she used the little that she had to help him.  Anonymous says he then found a job, but left her and moved back home to his family’s home, where the lady he impregnated lives.  Anonymous says he’s supporting the children financially but their relationship is strained and she doesn’t know what to do.

Anonymous says she got married to her high school sweetheart in 2017 and says their relationship was generally great. Anonymous says they had a child in 2019, but things got weird in 2023 when his behaviour changed and he was always irritable and seemed to be annoyed by her. Anonymous says the communication in their relationship also faded.  Anonymous says she eventually caught him cheating on her and after she confronted him about it, he said nothing and just moved out of their home. Anonymous says he’s still with the lady he cheated on her with and has even introduced that lady to his family.  Anonymous says she’s struggling to move on.

Anonymous says he got married to his wife back in 2017 and shortly after they got married she started having an affair with her ex. Anonymous says he confronted her about this and she asked him for forgiveness, which he gave her but told her that something was broken between and that there would be consequences of her actions.  Anonymous says 5 years after his wife cheated on him, he ran into his high school sweetheart and he started having an affair with her. Anonymous’ wife now knows that he’s having an affair with his ex and he feels like he’s more in love with his ex than he is with his wife.  Anonymous says he never got over the cheating and doesn’t know how to move forward from here.

Anonymous has been with her partner for about 10 years and they have a child together. When she called in last year she shared how she felt like her partner was not contributing financially in their household.  Anonymous says that situation has persisted and another thing is that they are in a civil marriage but their families are not aware of this situation.  Anonymous says he keeps coming up with financial excuses about why they can’t have an African traditional marriage, but she just doesn’t understand this. Anonymous is worried she might have made a mistake by marrying him.

Anonymous says she met a guy during our singles week here on Break Away last December. Anonymous says after he slides into her DMs things went well and she says he even involved her in many aspects of his life.  Anonymous says when the guy was looking for a new apartment, he roped her in and asked her to pick the apartment as she would also live there with him.  Anonymous says he’s said “I love you” to her and wants to introduce her to his family. Anonymous is worried that things are moving too fast between them.

Anonymous says he was with his ex for a while and they even ended up buying a house together. Anonymous says during the course of the relationship, his partner cheated on him several times and he kept forgiving her until he couldn’t.  Anonymous says they ended up breaking up, however, they still live in the house together and the mood in the house is very tense and they are struggling to live with each other. Anonymous says selling the house is hard because of the current market conditions in their area. Anonymous feels stuck in this situation and doesn’t know what to do.