#AskAMan

Anonymous started dating the mother of his child about four years ago and says things were great until he lost his job and was in the process of starting a new business.  He cheated on her in the midst of all of this, she forgave him and said they should move as she felt he cheated because of the area in which he lived. She helped him grow his business and he says things got busy in that business and he neglected her to a point that she broke up with him.  She’s currently not allowing anonymous access to their child, he doesn’t want to go the legal route as he feels that could add to the animosity between them & he feels like he owes her a lot for helping him.

Anonymous met her current partner back in 2014 and their relationship was completely platonic in the beginning but they eventually started dating and now they are married.  Her problem is that their relationship is not great as a couple because he just doesn’t meet the standards of what she wants in a partner.  Anonymous feels like he’s a better friend than partner to her, she wants to break it off without ending their friendship.

Anonymous dated a man ten years ago and he was a great partner but things didn’t workout because he was struggling to get it up in the bedroom and he was an over drinker.  It’s been about eight years now and the man has returned into her life and she has decided to give him another chance. Things are going well so far however the problems in the bedroom remain.  They haven’t had a conversation regarding his erection issues, and he has now shared with anonymous that he is HIV positive.

Anonymous says he was in a long term relationship which ended about 3 years ago, he says they tried to make their relationship work a couple of times but it didn’t work out.  Anonymous says he has since been in two other relationships and one of those partners ended things with him saying he isn’t man enough, while the second most recent relationship ended because the partner said he doesn’t have enough money.  Anonymous says he feels like he keeps trying in relationships but wonders why he hasn’t had much luck so far. He adds that he’d like to start building a family.

Anonymous has been with her partner for 11 years, she came into the relationship with one child and they have two children together. Her partner has paid half the lobola.  Anonymous says there’s a lot of negativity happening in their relationship and in a recent incident her partner did not come back home as he was upset with her for “blue-ticking” him.  Anonymous says she was shocked by his reasoning for disappearing and they fought about this, which led to her partner throwing her phone in the toilet and anonymous taking his phone and hiding it.  Anonymous says she went through his phone and found messages between her partner and his sister, in which anonymous says her partner was saying nasty things about her. 

Anonymous says it was love at first sight when he met his partner three months ago. Anonymous says he’s met her family and adds that she’s great with his daughter as well.  Anonymous says when they met, she revealed to him that she had just come out of a 7-year lesbian relationship. Anonymous says she has also told him that she’d like to have a threesome with anonymous and another woman, something anonymous says he’s not interested in doing. Anonymous says they are now in talks to start with lobola proceedings, however, anonymous says his partner is still friends with her female ex. Anonymous’ partner says he has nothing to worry about as they are just friends. Anonymous is taken aback by this because his partner might still be into her ex. 

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner since 2016 and they had a child after a year of being together. Anonymous says they only started living together recently.  Anonymous says things have gotten tense in their relationship because he started getting what anonymous thinks were suspicious messages from a colleague and when he confronted him about those texts, he claimed they were business related.  Anonymous says things are now tense as her partner is denying the cheating. Anonymous is not sure if she’s the one blowing things out proportion.

Anonymous says he’s been dating the mother of his child for 10 years now and he’s looking to get married to her, but he’s not quite sure based on her behaviour.  Anonymous says they fight a lot and says she keeps bringing up past fights. Anonymous says he wanted to start the lobola process last year but she said to him that she’s not ready to get married and instead kept the money that was meant for her lobola.  Anonymous says when he asks about this money she gets upset so he feels like he can’t bring up anymore.

Anonymous says he’s been with his wife for 14 years and they have two children together. Anonymous says their relationship was fine until he cheated on his wife on two separate occasions. Anonymous says she forgave him both times and they were able to move on.  Anonymous says time went by and then his wife started cheating on him. Anonymous says he was able to move on with the relationship after finding out about his wife’s cheating. Anonymous says even though they are still together, he’s struggling to forget about about his wife’s cheating and says he can’t see her in the same way anymore.  Anonymous says another issue is that his wife has become quite flashy, and says this started around the second time he cheated on her and at the time he was making more money.

Anonymous says he’s currently dating two ladies, he’s known lady no.1 since 2014 and they have a child together. Anonymous says their relationship was fine until 2019 when she started drinking a lot and it was causing problems in their relationship.  Anonymous says he met another lady, lady no.2, in 2023 and they’ve been together since, even though he’s still with the mother of his child. Anonymous says when he met lady no.2 she was still married to someone else but got divorced and anonymous say his affair with lady no.2 was stated as the reason for lady no.2’s divorce.

Anonymous says she’s in her late twenties and she’s been in a relationship with her partner for about four years but it’s been messy because her partner cheated on her a few times and she forgave him.  Anonymous says she then met another guy while in a relationship with her partner and decided to have an affair with this guy, in retaliation to her partner’s infidelities.  Anonymous says she’s now pregnant but she’s not sure who the father of the child is. Anonymous says her side piece is aware that it’s possible that he’s not the father but her partner has no idea and he’s just happy to build a family with her.  Anonymous is not sure how to move forward.

Anonymous says he’s been with his girlfriend since 2020 and they have two year-old child together.  Anonymous says at some point he lost his job and this when his partner’s behaviour changed. Anonymous says one of the problems he’s found is that his girlfriend has been having relations with other guys while they’ve been together.  Anonymous says he’s now working again and he’s even thinking of marrying his girlfriend but he’s struggling to trust her and is not sure if she can be the right wife for him. 

Anonymous says he’s been in an on and off situation with his partner for a while now. Anonymous says she cheated on him early on in their relationship but he ended up forgiving her and even considered getting married to her.  Anonymous says they then ran into some trouble when they tried to conceive a child and even lost a baby, but anonymous says during that grieving period he found out that she cheated on him with the same guy again. Anonymous says they eventually broke up.  Anonymous says despite them breaking things off he’s struggling to let it go and she keeps coming back into his life. Anonymous says she’s to always come back into his life when he’s busy with someone else, but then disappears when he starts giving her attention again.

Anonymous says when he met his current wife 9 years ago, she had a 1 year-old child. Anonymous says since then he has raised this child as his own.  Anonymous says they are currently separated after he found out that his wife was flirting with a colleague. Anonymous says they are now officially separated however he feels like he shouldn’t be the one to financially support the child as he’s no longer in a relationship with the mother.  Anonymous says they do have one other child together, and he’s only willing to support this child, as the other child has their own father and his estranged wife now has another partner. Anonymous is wondering if he’s taking the right approach to the situation.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for two years, and her current relationship overlapped with her previous relationship.  Anonymous says early in their relationship her partner found out that she was still dating her ex partner. Anonymous says they fought about this and she finally broke up with her ex. Anonymous says their relationship continued but her partner also cheated on her, and said she did it because she struggled to get over the fact that anonymous had cheated.  Anonymous says her partner has struggled to get over the initial cheating and they keep fighting about it. Anonymous says her partner broke up with her yesterday and she’s not sure if she should fight for her. 

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for just over a year now and they have a 14-year age gap between them.  Anonymous says they’ve been speaking about their future and it looks like they could get married but her partner already has 3 children from his previous 3 relationships and he doesn’t seem keen to have more children.  Anonymous says she wants to be with him and build a future with him, but feels like even if he were to have a child with her, he would be doing it reluctantly.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for just over a year now and they have a 14-year age gap between them.  Anonymous says they’ve been speaking about their future and it looks like they could get married but her partner already has 3 children from his previous 3 relationships and he doesn’t seem keen to have more children.  Anonymous says she wants to be with him and build a future with him, but feels like even if he were to have a child with her, he would be doing it reluctantly.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for about 3 years and says when they started dating he didn’t tell her that he was in a relationship with someone else. Anonymous says after she got suspicious, he confessed to her that he does have another partnerback home, where he comes from.  Anonymous says she’s known about the other girl for about a year now and says despite their relationship being great, she’s not comfortable with him having another partner.  Anonymous says he has said that he plans to leave the other woman, but it still hasn’t happened.

Anonymous says he’s been dating a lady, who’s married to someone else, for about 5 years now. Anonymous says when he told her about his dreams to open his own business, she volunteered to raise the funds for him for the business.  Anonymous says they got the funding but he didn’t want  to have the business registered in both their names as he was scared of what could happen if the lady’s husband found out about their affair. Anonymous says they decided to register the business under his name and this lady’s best friend’s name.  Anonymous says time went by and the lady is now looking to divorce her husband, the problem is now the lady’s best friend…

Anonymous says after being single for two years, he met a guy in September last year, and two weeks into their relationship, the guy told him that he had a spiritual calling and would be going to initiation for about 6 months.  Anonymous says the guy wasn’t allowed to have visitors while at initiation but they kept in contact by calling each other. Anonymous says the guy was then not allowed to take calls and this affected their relationship, leaving anonymous feeling lonely.  Anonymous says during this time he met someone else, guy no.2,  and they instantly fell in love. Anonymous says he’s in a relationship with guy no.2.

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for about two years now. They never moved in together but would stay at each other’s places for extended periods. Anonymous says his partner got into the habit of leaving his place and staying at her own place every time they fight. Anonymous says during one of the times his partner moved out he started entertaining another lady who he says became a confidant to him, anonymous says he eventually slept wit this lady and when he didn’t continue the relationship with this lady, she shared screen shots of their chats with anonymous’ partner. Anonymous says his partner is obviously upset about the chats that she’s seen and they are currently fighting about this. Anonymous says he loves his partner and he’s not sure on how to go about repairing their relationship.

Anonymous says she’s known her husband for 8 years and they’ve been married for 6 of those years. Anonymous says her relationship with her partner is toxic and says the biggest issue is finances.  Anonymous says she earns more than her partner and says he also doesn’t contribute much to their household finances. Anonymous says she feels like she has been financially and verbally abusive towards her partner, calling him useless for not taking care their family.  Anonymous says it’s not that he earns less, it’s that he doesn’t spend much money on their family, and has instead accumulated a lot of debt.  Anonymous says she feels like she needs to end the relationship but her heart won’t let go and she can’t financially afford to leave the relationship right now.

Anonymous says her partner recently went through her phone and found nude pictures of her with her ex on her phone.  Anonymous says her partner was upset after finding the pictures, which were recently sent by her ex. Anonymous says her partner also saw a message where she suggested to her ex that they have a threesome.  Anonymous says they went to therapy to try and resolve this issue, however, in a recent incident, her partner tried to call her but he got upset when he couldn’t reach anonymous because he just imagined that anonymous was busy with the ex.  Anonymous says her partner has been deeply affected by this and seems to be pulling away from her. Anonymous says she’s serious about him and doesn’t know how they can move forward from this. 

Anonymous says he has been dating his partner for about 3 years now and says she has been very supportive of him from the time they started dating as he had just graduated.  Anonymous says he got into the e-hailing business and when he decided to start driving his own car, she helped him get the car and they agreed that he would pay her back for the car and they would change the ownership of the car to his name later.  Anonymous says he has since got two more cars on his own but when he tried to change the ownership of the first car from his partner’s name to his own name, she was avoiding doing this, which led to him checking the details of the car, and that’s when he found out that the car is owned by his partner’s husband, and he had no idea that she was even married.  Anonymous is worried about the car situation but he’s also not comfortable with continuing the relationship with his partner knowing that she’s married.

Anonymous says he met a guy last year and they’ve been dating since then. Anonymous says everything was fine until the guy started acting strange.   Anonymous says they once had a conflict & as they were in middle of the fight his partner decided he was leaving, and some other guy came to pick up his partner and they left anonymous at his place.  Anonymous says he tracked his partner on his phone and noticed that his partner went to the other guy’s place. Anonymous also says he found pictures of his partner with that guy looking cozy on the beach.  Anonymous says they met up days later and he confronted his partner about this. Anonymous says his partner was ignoring him, focusing on his phone and this led to them getting into a physical fight.  Anonymous says his partner pressed assault charges against him and he ended up in jail for weeks, before his partner dropped the charges.  Anonymous says his partner reached out to him and they’ve rekindled their relationship. Anonymous says it seems his partner is still hooking up with other people, but despite this he is struggling to let him go. 

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for two years but says they’ve had an issue with infidelity in their relationship since the very beginning. Anonymous says she’s always finding texts on his phone of him chatting with other girls and flirting with them. She says she’s confronted him about this several times, but it keeps happening.  Anonymous says in the middle of all of this he doesn’t want her to chat with other guys. Anonymous says there’s also a particular girl who he can’t seem to let go of.  Anonymous says he is now accusing her of bringing up the past every time she brings up what he did with those other girls.

Anonymous says she met a guy no.1 in January and things quickly sparked between them, and the guy moved into her place soon after they started dating.  Anonymous says the guy lies a lot, for starters, he lied about his age, saying he’s in his early thirties but it turned out he’s actually in his early twenties. Anonymous says though he seemed to have a proper job she’s also realised that he might be scamming people on social media.  Anonymous says guy no.2 is someone she was with before guy no.1, she says he’s trying to get back into her life even though he had ghosted her when they dated previously. Anonymous says guy no.2 has seemingly changed and there could be a chance to rekindle things with him.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for two years, they live together, their families know about each other, and their relationship is moving in the marriage direction.  Anonymous says she recently had a dream that there is something funny happening in their relationship, after this, anonymous says she looked through his phone and found that he’s still following his ex on Tik Tok and has liked all 11 of her posts.  Anonymous says they already had a fight about him following his ex on social media and she thought this was resolved. Anonymous says she’s now confused on how to feel about this.

Anonymous says he met his current partner 8 years ago, after being single for 3 years. Anonymous says they started dating soon after meeting.  Anonymous says his partner came into their relationship with two children and they have since had four more children together, she is currently pregnant with twins.  Anonymous says that the problem in their relationship seems to be his partner’s family as they tend to meddle into their relationship. Anonymous says currently he’s trying to get married to his partner but there are some wranglings regarding the lobola amount anonymous must pay…

Anonymous says she’s a mother of two and she broke up with the father of her children back in 2015. Anonymous says she met another guy shortly after this but the relationship failed because she didn’t want the guy to meet her kids as they were young.  Anonymous says she waited for her kids to grow before dating again and she’s now in a relationship with someone who she has introduced to her kids and they’ve been together for a while now, but anonymous says she feels like he’s closed off and doesn’t share his true feelings. Anonymous says she feels like he’s not emotionally mature enough to be a family man, as he also has a terrible relationship with his own family.  Anonymous says even though he’d like to have a child with her, she’s also realised that he’s lacking when it comes to having paternal instincts.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for a year and after he lost his job last November, the partner moved back to his home town.  Anonymous says after their relationship became long distant, they began to struggle with communication and anonymous says she ended up pushing him away, as she was hiding somethings from him.  Anonymous says this caused a rift between them and he ended having a relationship with someone else and impregnating that person. Anonymous says the guy has told her that he does love the girl he’s impregnated, adding that he’d like to date both anonymous and the other girl.  Anonymous doesn’t know what to do.

Anonymous says she’s been with her husband for 17 years since they were in high school and they’ve been married for about 8 years.  Anonymous says post high school she studied further, got her qualifications and has been financially stable since then, on the other hand she says her husband lacks ambition and hasn’t worked much this whole time that they’ve been together, which means she’s been supporting their household, which now includes two children as well.  Anonymous says she eventually broke things off with him as things got toxic in their home but eventually got back together with him. Anonymous says their relationship never really got better and describes her husband as being emotionally and financially abusive…

Anonymous says she’s been in a relationship with her partner for 3 years and says their relationship couldn’t be better, however, anonymous says she started cheating on her partner, with someone who lives on the same street as her mother.  Anonymous says she then found out that her side piece was cheating on her and they broke things off. Anonymous says even though things are great with her partner, she finds herself hurt by what happened with her side piece and she’s struggling to let her go.  Anonymous says she is really happy with her partner and doesn’t want to leave her.

Anonymous says his friend broke up with his partner 2 months ago, after the break up, anonymous says he started chatting with his partner’s ex and they hit things off.  Anonymous says things quickly got serious between him and his friend’s ex and that’s when he decided to tell his friend that he’d like to his ex. Anonymous says his friend told him he doesn’t approve of this relationship and their friendship would be over if anonymous continued to date his ex.  Anonymous says they have slept with each other’s flings in the past, so he thought his friend would be ok with this.  Anonymous says he’s not sure who to choose, as he’s in love with his friend’s ex but also finds some value in his friendship, as they are a part of a group of friends.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for just over a year now and they’ve known each other for about 10 years altogether.  Anonymous says they were initially in a long-distance relationship and things were great but his behaviour changed when she moved to the same area as him.  Anonymous says she feels like even though she’s goegraphically closer now, he doesn’t pay much attention to her, shows little support and hardly initiates conversations with her.  Anonymous says they don’t even talk much now and she doesn’t know what to do.

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for two years and everything was fine between them from the on set but things changed after she became pregnant.  Anonymous says after finding out about the pregnancy they moved in together but his character changed and they started fighting a lot, to a point that he moved out of their place.  Anonymous says most recently he asked him for money to do a pregnancy scan but this turned into a fight and her partner accused her of using him for his money, saying anonymous doesn’t even care about his kids.  Anonymous says she doesn’t know where that is coming from as she’s never relied on him financially and in fact he was unemployed when they started dating.

Anonymous says mid last year she found a lady on social media who she liked but only DM’d her earlier this in January and confessed her feelings.  Anonymous says it turned out the lady also liked her and so they started dating online, as they’ve never met. Anonymous says their relationship was going well until Anonymous wasn’t in a good mood one day and took those emotions out on the lady.  Anonymous says things weren’t the same since that day, and the lady eventually broke things off with her. Anonymous doesn’t know what to do as she loves this lady a lot!

Anonymous says she met guy no.1 last year at her new church after moving to a new province. Anonymous says they started dating shortly after their first interaction.  Anonymous says things were good between them until she went back home to visit and says when she came back to her new area she realised that his energy had changed, and upon searching on his phone, she found that he was still chatting to and spending time with  other girls.  Anonymous confronted him about this and he explained that he did already have thing with one of the girls while they started with their thing…

Anonymous says she’s been with her current partner for 5 years and says he’s a great partner and takes care of her, and he’s even paid lobola for her.  Anonymous says her problem is she feels a void in her relationship, and says there’s no spark and passion, it’s just boring. Anonymous says she likes him but doesn’t think he’s the one.  Anonymous says one of the issues in their relationship is that they don’t have a good communication.  Anonymous is not sure if she should fight for the relationship or just break up with him.

Anonymous says she met her current husband when they were in high school, but they couldn’t really be together at the time. Anonymous says over the years they’d meet up and hook up, but never really became official.  Anonymous says they went their separate ways at some point and during that time she  had a baby with someone else. Anonymous says they eventually got together and they got married.  Anonymous says her partner used to cheat on her a lot with different people, and says she initially brushed it off as something men do, but as time went by it became too much for her, and she separated from her husband. Anonymous says he’s been asking her to forgive him for a while now, and she’s not sure if she should get back together with him.

Anonymous says he met a lady in 2023 and their relationship was soaring until the father of her child, who wasn’t present when anonymous met the lady, came back into the picture last December. Anonymous says the lady started communicating more with the father of her child at that point. Anonymous says the lady then attend a family funeral after the the father of her child’s brother past away. This led to the lady rekindling things with the father of her child and she essentially got back together with him.

Anonymous says he and his girlfriend started dating in 2018 and he says he was clear from the onset that he wants to have a child, she was ok with that only if they got married first, something anonymous says he wasn’t ready for.  Anonymous says years later he started having an affair with one of his partner’s friends and that went on secretly for a while. Anonymous says he brought up having a child again, and again his girlfriend said no and told him he could go outside and impregnate someone else.  Anonymous says after the fight with his girlfriend, he slept with the friend without protection and she fell pregnant with his child.  Anonymous says he confessed this to his partner and after meeting with her family they ended up breaking things off, but anonymous has now managed to patch things up with his girlfriend who says she’ll only get back together with him on one condition…

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 6 years, they have a child together and she came into their relationship with another child. Anonymous her partner is terrible with money and doesn’t include her in his financial decisions when he has money.  Anonymous says before he lost his job and didn’t have money, he would go out partying with friends and would cheat on her, but come back crying for forgiveness.  Anonymous says he’s now unemployed and broke and his behaviour has changed, he’s a better partner, shows her love and things are generally good.  Anonymous is worried that once he’s back on his feet, he’ll go back to his old ways and she’s no sure if she should leave him even though things are great right now.