#AskAMan

Anonymous has been with his wife for about two years now and they are in a long-distance relationship. They recently had a fight because he found out, for the first time, that she’s in communication with the father of her child. While their chats were mostly about their child, there are also texts where he refers to anonymous’ wife as “my love”, however, she doesn’t reply in the same way.  They got into a fight because of this and he ended up saying to her that this is why he didn’t want to marry someone who already has children. She was hurt by this and has now blocked anonymous.

Anonymous and his partner have together for a while and they live together.  They often go out together and recently, while they were at a party, his girlfriend joined her friend, who was with some other guys.  He spotted her flirting with one of the other guys and at some point it looked as if she wanted to leave the party with the other guy. This angered anonymous, he confronted her, and even got physical with her, and they needed up going home together.  He’s frustrated and angered by this behaviour and it’s even led him to violent acts and thoughts against her.

Anonymous and her partner were together from the time they were in varsity and they have a child together.  She got a job first and made more strides in her career, while he struggled and was doing well financially which affected their relationship. She ended up breaking up with him because of his financial problems. She then met a woman, who she fell in love with, things were going well in that relationship but she ended up going back to her ex because of her need to have her child living with their mother and father.  This has now become a cycle and she doesn’t know what to do.

Anonymous has been dating a guy for about a year and a half now and he’s a great partner for the most part but the thing that annoys her about him is that he seems to be a bit of a pathological liar, especially when it comes to his finances….

Anonymous says there’s lots of drama in her mother-in-law’s life. Not only is she hiding her relationships with younger men, she’s also in fraudulent dealings that have affected her son, who’s anonymous’ partner…. Her mother-in-law seems to always go out of her way to derail her partner from getting work or making things work for himself.  She doesn’t understand this behaviour and it’s now putting a strain on their relationship. Her and her partner are also intertwined in spiritual rituals that have complicated their relationship. 

Anonymous has been married to her partner for four years now and says they resolved some of the issues they had before they got married but those seem to be coming back into their relationship.  She feels like her partner is too relaxed about how other women behave around him, he downplays it when they get touchy with him, with some of it happening in front of her.  There’s also messages that she’s seen on his phone that she feels cross the line. He has given her full access to his phone. She’s worried about why they are so comfortable behaving that way with him.

Anonymous rekindled things with her ex about a year ago. He broke up with her the first time they dated because he felt like he couldn’t provide for her “as a man” should. After getting back together they spoke about expectations they have of each other but she now feels like he’s expecting too much from her, especially in terms of house chores.  They don’t live together and he expects her to perform all kinds of chores at his place and she doesn’t understand this. She wonders if this is a red flag.

Anonymous got back together with her ex recently after they broke up back in 2018 after he said to her that he didn’t feel like he was emotionally available.  Things initially went well after they rekindled their relationship but then he started pulling away from her. She thinks he’s feeling pressure and emasculated by her because she’s doing better than him financially and in her career. 

Anonymous feels like she’s not satisfying her partner sexually, and thinks the reason is because his previous partner had stretched her labia.  She’s now thinking of stretching hers as well so she can satisfy him, but she’s not sure.   She also thinks this is the reason why he’s cheating on her.

Anonymous has known his friend and colleague for about three years now and says when they initially met they were both in relationships.  Their friendship has grown a lot over the last couple of years and he has realised in recent months that he has romantic feelings for her.  They are now both single and he adds that she is struggling to let go of her abusive ex, and she’s also currently engaging with other potentials sexually.  He doesn’t want to jeopardise their friendship by revealing his feelings for her.

Anonymous has been with his partner for over a year now after they met on social media. They have a big age gap between them, he’s in his 30s and she’s in her 50s. Their relationship is generally fine but she has two children in their twenties, and she’s always hiding anonymous from her children and other people in her life.  She’s also very paranoid and is always accusing him of cheating on her, because she’s struggling to believe that a guy as good looking as anonymous would be with her. 

Anonymous was with her baby daddy for about 11 years, and they currently have one child together, after losing their first child.  The father of her child was constantly cheating on her and it all became too much for anonymous, so she broke up with him, especially because she wa now rekindling things with her ex partner.  Anonymous is now back together with that ex partner but he is struggling with the fact that anonymous has a child with another guy.

Anonymous has been in a relationship with a married man for the last three years and says it’s been a rollercoaster. She has now met a new man, who’s single, seems great, and ticks a lot of boxes. She would like to pursue something with this new guy but says she’s struggling to let go of her married boyfriend.

Anonymous has been with his partner for about 10 years now and says their relationship has been generally good. A few weeks ago, while at a party, he met another lady, they hit it off, and he started having an affair with this lady. While he is just having a fun sexual relationship, this lady, who is married, wants things to get more serious between them. Anonymous is not sure what to do as the only reason he entwined this affair is because the sex between him and his partner has become dull.

Anonymous and her partner have been married for three years now and they’ve been together for 5 years overall.  She lost her job about a year ago and has been struggling to get something new, leaving her partner to be the sole breadwinner.  Her problem is that she feels like he’s not financially ambitious enough, and when she suggests businesses they can get into to improve their finances, he’s not very responsive. He doesn’t seem to be interested in investing in their future and that’s frustrating anonymous.

Anonymous and her partner have been married for three years now and they’ve been together for 5 years overall.  She lost her job about a year ago and has been struggling to get something new, leaving her partner to be the sole breadwinner.  Her problem is that she feels like he’s not financially ambitious enough, and when she suggests businesses they can get into to improve their finances, he’s not very responsive. He doesn’t seem to be interested in investing in their future and that’s frustrating anonymous.

Anonymous has been with his partner for about 6 years now after knowing each other at work for about 3 years as friends, as she was in a relationship at the time. They started dating well after she broke up with the father of her child. They agreed to have a child together from the beginning of their relationship, but they’ve struggled to conceive.  He cheated on her with another lady starting late last year and that lady is now pregnant.

Anonymous has been with her partner for about two years now, after coming out of a 13-year relationship that produced two children.  This weekend, when she happened to be using his phone, she found voice notes from some other lady that were suspicious, she got angry and hit her partner.  She comes from a toxic and violent background which she thinks has led to her aggressive behaviour towards her partner.  She’s hit her partner on two separate occasions and feels terrible about this. She doesn’t want to continue reacting this way and wonders how she can fix herself and repair their relationship.

Anonymous has been with her husband for 6 years now and they have two children together.  Her partner started acting off towards her about 3 years ago and then at some point he even stopped sleeping in their room without much of an explanation.  He eventually opened up to anonymous and revealed that he wasn’t comfortable around her as he felt like she has bad energies and those energies are affecting him spiritually, going as far as calling her a witch.  They are now separated, after she moved out of their home. He wants her back but anonymous says he’s not addressing his spiritual issues, as he’s not even speaking to his family and thinks everyone around him wants to dim his spirit.

Anonymous and her partner have been together for seven years now and they have two children together.  She found out that he was cheating on her last year but she forgave him after he made an effort to win her back, and they are now engaged.  Things have now gotten weird in their relationship and he has become sexually avoidant. She’s not sure what to read into this.

Anonymous has been with her partner since the beginning of last year and they have one child together.  They moved in together, six months into their relationship, and her partner’s brother also moved in with them.  Her partner has other two other children that live else where, however, her partner has now suggested that one of his children move in with them but she’s worried about the financial impact of this as they currently live on his salary, with some support from his brother. 

Anonymous has a large package and it’s causing trouble in his love life.  The women he likes never want to continue being in a relationship with him because of their sexual experience with him. However, the women he meets at bars for fun enjoy his larger size but he’s not interested in a lot of them.  Anonymous wants to know how to deal with this. 

Anonymous met a guy back in 2016 and after two years of dating they decided to have a baby, and they ended up having twins.  Her partner questioned the paternity of the twins, they got a paternity test done and it was confirmed that they are his children. Anonymous felt disrespected by him and ended their relationship, after months of tension in their relationship as a result of the questions regarding the paternity of the children.  Seven months after they broke up, she found out that he had gotten married to someone else post their break-up, she confronted him about this but it ended up with them having an affair and having another child.  He now wants to introduce anonymous and their children to his wife so that they can have a healthy relationship. She doesn’t know what to read into this. 

Anonymous is ten years younger than his partner, she has three children and he has one daughter.  He would like to have more children of his own, however, she can’t physically bare more children and he would like to have a male child of his own who will carry his legacy.  He loves his partner and appreciates her contribution to his personal & professional development, however, this is a major drawback of staying in this relationship.