Zen Pop

We discuss the importance of the inner world, specifically how this relates to preadolescent/teenage boys. They generally don’t ask for help, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need support. We offer tips and guidance in how to understand and relate to “boy world”. We also discuss the “innerscape” and “outerscape” of a person and why “remembering and forgetting” are part of the consciousness process. REMINDERS: Virtual Relationship Retreat- For individuals, couples, friends, or the workplace. Practice self awareness, develop communication skills, and discover ways to create peaceful and more harmonious relationships. Click here for more details. If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program. Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. Todd’s Men Adventure Retreat is February 28th through March 2nd. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting

In the first half of the show we discuss ideas a blog written by Dr. Mark Goulston on how to increase the happiness of your “couplehood” The 10 habits discussed: 1. Go to bed at the same time 2. Cultivate common interests 3. Walk hand in hand or side by side 4. Make trust and forgiveness your default 5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong 6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work 7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning 8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel 9. Do a “weather” check during the day 10. Be proud to be seen with your partner The second half of the show we discuss a blog written by Kate Hunter titled ” The Age Your Kids Need You Around The Most” Many times parents tend to take a less active role of parenting during the pre-adolecent stage as children begin to spread their wings. Many experts believe this is the time when they need us the most. Todd also submits two entries into the Tournament of Bad- Golden Globes & the phrase “Happy Wife, Happy Life” Resources discussed in this week’s show: Dr. Mark Goulston’s blog 10 Habits of Happy Couples Kate Hunter’s blog “The Age Your Kids Need You Around The Most” Hunter Clark’s interview with Cathy on her “Yoga Stories” podcast Todd’s first blog “11 Mistakes Your marriage Needs You To Stop Making” HeartMath’s Power Of The Heart’s Electromagnetic Field Previous ZPR podcast which discussed the relationship b/w the heart and the brain “Respect for The Scarecrow & The Tin Man”   REMINDERS: If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program. Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard. Click here to purchase your tickets, they are going quickly. Todd’s Men Adventure Retreat is February 28th through March 2nd. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting

We interview Dr. Shefali Tsabary the author of the The Conscious Parent (with a forward written by the Dalai Lama) and her new book Out of Control which questions why and how we discipline children. Some of the issues we discuss with Dr. Shefali: – What are the first steps we can take to become a more conscious parent? – What prevents us from being the parent that we want to be? – Why most discipline strategies don’t work. How parenting our children can help us heal our past wounds. – How to release guilt when we recognize our parenting challenges are less about our children issues and more about our issues. – Can our children be an instrument for our own personal growth? – How do we release the power of natural consequences? REMINDERS: If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program. Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR. We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard. Click here to purchase your tickets, they are going quickly. Todd’s Men Adventure Retreat is February 28th through March 2nd. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting

It’s Cathy’s turn to share what she learned after 11 years of marriage. Her mistakes: 1. Being a martyr 2. Pretending to like things I didn’t like 3. Not trying things I haven’t tried (paradox) 4. Worrying about the small stuff (and not seeing the big stuff)5.Not trusting Todd’s ability to parent 5. Wanting Todd to read my mind 6. Shutting down instead of saying what I felt 7. Not saying thank you and sorry 8. Not admitting to my mistakes 9. Not recognizing that letting go is the best way to love In the second half of our show, we interview our new Partner, Hunter Clark from hunteryoga.com/zen. In our continual effort to provide resources to our listeners, we introduced Hunter’s 28 day Daily Practice Immersion. This program will help our listeners develop a home yoga practice that will fit into your day; help you form the new, positive habit of self-care; and teach you practical ways to relieve stress and relax the body and mind. The first 7 days are free so we encourage you to signup by going to hunteryoga.com/zen REMINDERS: If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program. Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard. Click here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. Todd’s Men Adventure Retreat is February 28th through March 2nd. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting

When I do the annual job of washing the windows in my house, I always say without exception, “I never realized they were that dirty.” I can now see how green the trees are, how blue the sky is. We see the world through our own filter. Our soul needs to to be cleaned as well by doing things such as reading books, working with a therapist, meditating, taking a mindful walk, etc. These are all actions that can give us a better perception of the world. Conversely—if you are filling your thoughts/heart with negative things, that is the world that you will see. If we can all make this shift, our lives will be happier because of it. We share some resources that may help including Mark Nope’s “Book of Awakening” , Gary Chapman’s “5 Love Languages” and the documentary Man on Wire (trailer is below). In the second half of our show (22:48 mark) – I go over 11 mistakes I have made in my 11 years of being a husband. We discuss each one and share some stories. They are (in no particular order): I made up for my ineptitude with grand gestures. I spoke a different language. I fixed her problems. I thought we were the same. I let her pass me by. I did not put her on the calendar I thought we were supposed to grow together. I let things roll off my back. I talked down to her in the presence of others. I made a big deal when I did something nice. I didn’t fight fair. Don’t forget to: If you shop Amazon by going through our website first (there is an amazon link on the bottom right hand of our home page), a portion of your sale will help fund our Be U program. Thanks for supporting us! Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard. Click here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. Todd’s Men Adventure Retreat is February 28th through March 2nd. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIawNRm9NWM

We interview Josh Becker, a teacher for Breakthrough for Men and host of the I Simply Am podcast. Breakthrough for Men is dedicated to making real change in the quality of men’s lives. We discuss why it’s much more difficult to gather a group of men (vs. women) for the purpose of self exploration. Josh helps redefine the definition of manhood – society encourages men to be strong and not vulnerable, intelligent and not thoughtful, powerful and not beautiful. And men are using unhealthy coping mechanisms (alcohol, drugs, sex, gaming, gambling) to to deal with their unrecognized feelings and challenges. Josh can be found here and information on Breakthrough for Men can be found here. How can women help men open up? If and when your husband shows any sense of vulnerability, do not use it against them or make fun of them in any way, and create a safe and trusting environment for your husband to express emotions. Men need to know they’re safe before opening up. How can men open up? Take a look at the people you surround yourself with. Is it based soley upon alcohol and sports? If you find that it’s less fulfilling than it used to be, it might be time to find a group of men that have some other interest. Can’t find one? Check this out – I Simply Am blog/podcast by Josh Becker Todd, Cathy, & Josh play a random question game – find out their answers to these questions: What is one thing you wish you knew 20 years ago that you know now? Who is your favorite teacher? How do you practice self-love? Don’t forget to: Check out our new website & be sure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard. Click here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. The trailer is below. Todd’s Men Adventure Retreat is February 28th through March 2nd. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting

We interview blogger/editor Ben Martin of The Good Men Project. We discuss his blog which asks the question Why is it socially acceptable to speak down to children when we would rarely (if ever) speak to another adult in the same way? Cathy also shares her thoughts on the lessons from the movie Frozen (the trailer can be found @ the bottom of this blog). This movie is all about self acceptance, shining as brightly as we can, and how to utilize our gifts. Cathy and Todd shares some personal experience with feeling freedom after a personal breakup, miscarriages, and forgiveness. We also preview Friday’s Conversations With People We Love with Josh Becker. Ben’s blog can be found here. We also discuss smaller items like google calendar, sleeping in movies, & walking out of movies, the poower of empathy (Brene Brown video clip below) Don’t forget to: Check out our new website & besure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR Vote for us for the Best Health & Lifestyle podcast @ Stitcher We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard. Click here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. The trailer is below. Todd’s Men Adventure Retreat is February 28th through March 2nd. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbQm5doF_Uc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJsvklXhYaE

Among the topics of todays podcast: We discuss a blog title “Is Disney TV poisoning our kids”? Some people thinks so. Some shows are OK, whereas others are just not good for your kids to be watching. Where’s the balance between prohibiting certain shows for your kids and letting them figure out for themselves what is good/bad and then having a discussion about the shows. We contrast the “perfection” of the female actresses of Disney TV vs. what was popular in our day such as the girls on Facts of Life or even current shows such as Modern Family. The blog can be found here The badness of the cartoon “Might Mouse” and the goodness of Captain Caveman. See clips below- Lastly Santa pays a visit to ZPR. What can I say, it’s one of the more interesting interviews we have done. Santa shows up @ the 34:37 mark in the show. Don’t forget to: Check out our new website & besure to sign up to get all new podcast sent direct to your inbox @ ZPR Vote for us for the Best Health & Lifestyle podcast @ Stitcher We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard. Click here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. The trailer is below. Todd’s Men Adventure Retreat is February 28th through March 2nd. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUHShcWlkE8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiw4b0bl8lc&list=PLE63EB85A58406047 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJsvklXhYaE  

We talk with Annie Burnside, author, blogger, and teacher who focuses on spiritual development for individuals and families. In this podcast we discuss the problem with parenting books, why personal growth is the key to parenting, and how to infuse spiritual language and lessons into digestible bites. Annie also talks about raising teenagers and the true definition of success. Towards the end of the show, we talk about the YouTube clip included below. Annie is the author of Soul to Soul Parenting and she offers Soul Circles in the Chicago area. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIsCs9_-LP8 We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard. Click here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. Todd’s men retreat is February 28th through March 2nd. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting

The theme for this week is forgiveness (big and small) and heroes. Cathy and Todd talk about a mugger who apologized to his victim on facebook…35 years later. In the spirit of the holiday season they discuss other forms of forgiveness – to ourselves and others. They illustrate this with the story of the two monks. and they also talk a lot about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. As we age, our heroes evolve – Todd’s hero growing up was Walter Payton, but now he is in awe of others such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and a man named Chuck Feeney. The story about their philanthropic efforts can be found here. We also discuss Nelson Mandela and Malala. » Read more about the apologetic mugger here. » Read more about the two monks here. The documentary called The One percent is mentioned in which Jamie Johnson exposes the life of an heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELodtbfqBCA We also dedicate the show to the life and memory of Nelson Mandela. He is honored in part in this music video from U2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC3ahd6Di3M We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard. Click here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. The trailer is below. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJsvklXhYaE Todd’s men retreat is February 28th through March 2nd. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting

We discuss 4 ways to reduce your holiday stress: Dealing with family, How to cope with a case of the “shoulds”, Setting an intention for the holidays, Register for the 8 days of Holiday Calm Virtual Retreat. Todd features the first of four weekly shout outs to a a holiday movie. This week we feature National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. The Tournament of Bad is in full force as we debate delaying the gratification by listening to holiday music after Thanksgiving – Cathy listens whenever she wants, Todd waits – what do you do? We also play a touching clip that brings Cathy to tears

We talk with Nancy Mullen, social worker, author, pastry chef, and advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth. Nancy worked for several years in the HIV/AIDS field and shifted to her work with LGBT youth in 1998 as the executive director of a small, grassroots agency. She is a sought after public speaker on topics such as LGBT Youth and Adolescent Development and Current Trends in Working with LGBT Youth. She is a blogger and author of Urban Tidepool, a memoir that Nancy describes as “Reminiscent of Lemony Snicket’s “A Series of Unfortunate Events” with a gay twist, a helping of The Glass Castle and a hint of Erma Bombeck.” Cathy’s virtual Holiday Retreat begins on December 9th. Click the link for more info. We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard. Click here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. Todd’s men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting   Thank you for listening!!!

What is Thanksgiving about? Being with family or finding the best deal? Many retailers moved Black Friday deals up a day and now people are expected to work on Thanksgiving or they feel the need to shop instead of relax. We subscribe to not feeding into the frenzy – will you join us? We also discuss a book titled Triumphs of Experience by George Vaillant. The book is the longest longitudinal study of human development. Among the surprising findings: people who do well in old age did not necessarily do so well in midlife, and vice versa. We discuss more from the book and share a clip from the author. We learn a new idea from the author in which he states that the ability to take love in and metabolize it is the key to a successful life. Other random stuff: The Safety Dance, The Fabulous Thunderbirds, and Todd’s disdain for shopping and receving clothes as gifts. Cathy’s virtual Holiday Retreat begins on December 9th. Click the link for more info. We have arranged for a screening of the documentary “Girl Rising” in Lombard. Click here to purchase your tickets as there going quickly. Todd’s men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!  

We were inspired by a 60 Minutes segment about a group of billionaires who took “The Giving Pledge”. It’s headed up by Bill/Melinda Gates and Warren Buffet, and the only requirement is to give away at least half of your fortune. Sometimes it’s easy to look at the super rich and say, “Well if I was that rich, I would do the same thing.” The bottom line is that most people in the U.S. are rich compared to other people around the world. We must ask ourselves, are we doing everything we can to help others? The 60 Minutes is below. One of the billionaires is a man named Jeffrey Skoll. He produces documentaries with the hopes to bring about social change. This led to a discussion about our own favorite documentaries with a link to the trailers below: Girl Rising– The movie tells the stories of nine girls from nine countries. Their stories reflect their struggles to overcome societal or cultural barriers. Register to view the “Girl Rising” screening in Lombard IL on January 21st here I Am– In the film, Shadyac conducts interviews with scientists, religious leaders, environmentalists and philosophers including Desmond Tutu, Noam Chomsky, Lynne McTaggart, Elisabet Sahtouris, David Suzuki, Howard Zinn, and Thom Hartmann. The film asks two central questions: What’s Wrong With the World? and What Can We Do About it?. It is about “human connectedness, happiness, and the human spirit”,and explores themes including Darwinism, Western mores, loneliness, the economy, and the drive to war. Get “I Am” here. Miss Representation– The film interweaves stories from teenage girls with provocative interviews from the likes of Condoleezza Rice, Lisa Ling, Nancy Pelosi, Katie Couric, Rachel Maddow, Rosario Dawson, Dr. Jackson Katz, Dr. Jean Kilbourne, and Gloria Steinem to give an inside look at the media and its message. The film’s motto, “You can’t be what you can’t see,” underscores an implicit message that young women need and want positive role models, and that the media has thus far neglected its unique opportunity to provide them. The film includes a social action campaign to address change in policy, education and call for socially responsible business Get “Miss Representation” on Netflix here We only need 66 more people to “tip” this showing of 10×10 – Girl Rising! I think we can make it happen, so click below, reserve your ticket NOW (don’t wait, we need the reservation to green light the showing), and then get excited about a documentary that is SO worth your time. Click here to reserve your seats. http://gathr.us/screening/6453 Resource of the week mykidsadventures.com – My Kids’ Adventures™ is an online magazine designed to make it easy for busy parents to create adventures with their children anywhere Todd’s men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!    

Conversations With People We Love- We interview a self admitted former bully. Mark Schultz is a friend and somebody who told Cathy and I that we had to watch the documentary Bullyand then interview him on his experiences as a former bully with the hopes that we can all learn a little bit from his experience. He shares with us how he became a bully and the unlikely person who showed up to change his ways. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUy2ZWoStr0 Todd’s men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!  

We are talking about bullying…. again, but this time it’s about the adults (Rich Incognito/Jonathan Martin story). We discuss “man code” and the culture of the NFL, but recognize that many cultures have a “code” that is expected to be kept. It’s easy to direct anger at the an individual, but we are reminded that most bullies were a victims at some point in their lives. We also discuss end of life decisions as a result of a news story from last week. As Todd ages, he further differentiates the difference between one’s physical body, emotions, and heart. Are we our body? This video from Nick Vujicic might help inspire you. Tournament of Bad- Todd takes issue with the new bubble wrap. Finally we answered a question from a listener tring to recapture the closeness with her daughter that is eluding her. Todd’s men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th. Please email @ [email protected] for details. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!  

Are you sure about that? Parents of boys say this to us a lot, but this can be a matter of experience or expectation. Sure, it may feel true in many situations, but not hearing a peep from your boys about anything doesn’t mean that nothing is going on – they may just be less comfortable expressing their emotions and asking for help. Maybe a girl does become more frustrated or unsure about emotional experiences or relationships, but this is entirely normal and healthy. They are often more connected, tapped-in, and caring when it comes to people and life. Not such bad traits, right? Instead of telling them they are dramatic and oversensitive, let’s learn how to support, soothe, and guide them so they can feel good about their gifts and who they are. And when it comes to our boys, let’s allow for emotional expression and demonstrate that it’s OK to ask for help. By the way- Todd gets frustrated when other men tell him about all the drama when it comes to raising daughters. The term “drama” carries a negative energy or something to avoid, so Cathy suggests “framing and naming”. We respond to something based on how we view it, so if we think girls are over dramatic, then we fight against or think it should be different. If we believe emotions are normal and that our job is support emotional expression, then we won’t be so triggered by our daughter’s emotional experiences. We can call our girls dramatic and oversensitive, or we can call them intuitive, connected, and heart-centered. Totally different response based on how we define them. We also discussed a blog titled “He said he was leaving. She ignored him.” In it the writer takes a different approach to her marital issues and low and behold it worked. He tried to blame her for his pain and unload his own feelings onto her and she simply didn’t take it. Listen in to see how it all went down. Finally we answered a question from a listener regarding her concern over her daughters’ modeling job. She was worried that the wrong message was being sent regarding her inner beauty vs her outer beauty. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!  

Do you ever feel like you don’t have time to live your passion? You are not alone. That’s why we invited Chicago musician Gerry O’Keefe to talk with us about living his passion while taking care of work and family business. We discuss how to keep your passion despite the responsibilities we have as a parent, employee, spouse, etc., his new album titled “Whatever Suits You”, Van Halen, David Cassidy, not allowing the negative to penetrate our mindset, and finally The Monkees Be sure to listen in to a “sing-off” between amateur vocalist Todd Adams vs professional vocalist Gerry O’Keefe. Who wins? You decide. If you live in Elmhurst, make sure you see Gerry O’Keefe perform at HB Jones on Saturday, November 9th at 7:30! It’s a fun and all-ages show. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!  

Failure is important right? We learn a lot from failure, right? Then why do we try to protect our children from ever failing? We have a discussion between the relationship between failure, confidence, narcissism, self worth, etc. The people who have made the largest impact on our world had significant failures, too. We also discuss families who send their kids to an “athletic boarding school” Is this an effort to give their child the best opportunity to succeed, or is it deeper than that?   Don’t forget to listen in to our bi-monthly podcast called- “Conversations with People We Love” This week we speak with Chicago’s own singer/songwriter Gerry O’Keefe about the delicate balance between following your passion and responsibilities of work/family. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

In the Jewish tradition there are two different words that describe fear. The first is called Pachad– “projected or imagined fear,” or the “fear whose objects are imagined.” The second is called Yirah– the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to. We discuss the video below from Tara Sophia Mohr describing the differences. We then discuss healthy ways to overcome fear: Analyze your fear Acknowledge it, name it, write it down. Keep a journal. Define it contours- where did it begin? What triggers it? how does it affect you? What power does it have? Sometimes it can be healthy, recognize when it’s not. Imagine the outcome you desire. Take control of your fear Baby steps Deliberately encounter it. you might realize it’s not as bad as you thought. Be prepared to deal with failure Ride the wave. If you’re doing something- keep the momentum going. Don’t give up. Don’t let others hold you back. Change the way you think about fear Make it a source of fascination. Learn from it. ask why it holds so much power See it as an opportunity. Who would you be if you didn’t have this fear? Give fear a place in your life Let yourself be afraid. It’s an emotion just like joy or sadness. Go easy on yourself Celebrate your victories We also discussed inherent differences between men and women as it has to do with the decision on whether or not to shine. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

Well, you’ve come to the right place. In our very first bi-monthly “Conversations with People we Love”, we talk with Heather Criswell, author of “How to Raise a Happy Child” . Crawl inside the mind of Heather, a noted “kid whisperer”, and see how she discovered (through 25 years and 30,000 children) what works with every child, in every situation, every time. Heather also shares some of her own struggles and she discusses how language can be particularly important when talking with your child, especially around issues such as body image. Heather is an inspiring person that you should know! We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

Science now tells us that if we react to our children’s “failures” with compassion instead of criticism, our kids will have a greater likelihood of succeeding. We discuss these ideas and the book Self Compassion by Kristin Neff. We also discuss the different ways men and women measure acts of love. The good news for the guys is that we use a point system, the bad news is we haven’t been keeping score the right way. We announce the beginning of our bi-monthly installment of ZPR called, “Conversations of People We Love”. Our first show will debut on Friday, October 18th – we will talk with Heather Criswell- author of the book “How To Raise a Happy Child” We also include a few entries into our tournament of bad. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

A listener emailed and said her husband becomes agitated when she discusses personal growth or suggests listening to our podcast. We discuss the importance of honoring where your partner is in this moment (maybe he doesn’t want to listen to the podcast), and still speaking up about your own needs (but he can appreciate that you enjoy it). Change can be scary, but it’s a necessary and normal part of everyday life. Self awareness is not always about being dissatisfied with yourself or others, it’s about recognizing potential and being cognizant of everyday choices. This allows us to live from a place of peace and contentment. Do you really know what Grand Theft Auto is really about? Are you aware that you get points for killing, selling drugs, and sleeping with prostitutes? We continue our conversation about the affect these games have on young minds. The insanity of it all is perfectly described in this Saturday Night Live segment. We announce the beginning of our bi-monthly installment of ZPR called, “Conversations of People We Love” Our first show will debut on Friday, October 18th with a conversation with Heather Criswell- author of the book “How To Raise a Happy Child” We also include a few entries into our tournament of bad. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

Do you have a spouse who travels? Are both the exit and reentry a challenge? Do you feel appreciated for what you do while your spouse is away, and does your spouse feel appreciated for the hard work involved in work travel? We discuss the importance of validation and communication when your partner travels, and why it’s important to say what you need. We also discuss the importance of prioritization and how we need to allow our partner to arrive at their own conclusions instead of forcing them to act. Todd recognized how his ego got in the way of a big decision, and he shares why and how he decided to shift. We also discuss the genius of Louis CK as he talks about his kids, technology, and the importance of sadness. The entire clip can be found here. We also give some practical advice on how to curb our addiction to our phone, technology, ipad, etc written byAdina Kalish Neufeld. The entire article can be read here. Interested in having Cathy/Todd speak at your school or scout meeting? Email us @ [email protected] Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on THIS Thursday, October 3rd Todd is running a Men’s Adventure Retreat on March 7th thru 9th. Email [email protected] for more information Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy’s books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!

We discuss the 5 different love languages based on a book by Gary Chapman. The discussion will help you decide your dominant love language and help you figure out the love language of your children (and spouse!). This can be the first step toward a deeper and more understanding relationship with your family. Todd also discusses a feel good story about a homeless man named Glen James and what he did to change his own luck. Interested in having Cathy/Todd speak at your school or scout meeting? Email us @ [email protected] Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Todd is running a Men’s Adventure Retreat on March 7th thru 9th. Email [email protected] for more information Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy’s books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

We discuss “Rachel’s Challenge”, a presentation for schools that focuses on kindness and self-awareness. This program that has reached over 19,000,000 people. Each day 160,000 students do not go to school because they are bullied, teased and harassed. By turning the story of a tragic death at Columbine High School into a mission for change, Rachel’s Challenge is helping create safer learning environments and making a world-wide impact. Rachel’s Challenge is a series of student empowering programs and strategies that equip students and adults to combat bullying and allay feelings of isolation and despair by creating a culture of kindness and compassion. The programs are based on the writings and life of 17 year-old Rachel Scott who was the first student killed at Columbine High School in 1999. Rachel left a legacy of reaching out to those who were different, who were picked on by others, or who were new at her school. Within this discussion we discuss the 5 things we can do right now to become better parents: Look for the best in others Dream big Choose positive influences Speak with kindness Start your own chain reaction We also discuss Todd and Skylar’s battle over a banana, and we answer an email from a listener whose 5 year old is struggling with going in the classroom during church. Interested in having Cathy/Todd speak at your school or scout meeting? Email us @ [email protected] Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Todd is running a Men’s Adventure Retreat on March 7th thru 9th. Email [email protected] for more information Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy’s books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

We discuss a blog titled The Conversation You Must Have With Your Sons by Carina Kolodny. One out of five college girls are sexually assaulted. As parents we do everything we can to help our daughters make smart decisions and stay out of difficult situations. Are we having conversations with our sons about making responsible decisions? Or does this kind of conversation feel unnecessary or uncomfortable? Cathy fires back at the people who say the lyrics to Robin Thickes’ “Blurred Lines” are not that bad. We also play a clip from Dylan Garrity talking proclaiming the similar message in his own words. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xHp5iTtWRc We address three different questions in the email bag concerning: Talking to other parent who speak a different language A 3-1/2 year old who does not listen A 3 year old son who “fake” cries Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Todd is running a Men’s Adventure Retreat on March 7th thru 9th. Email comments@zenparentingradio for more information Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy’s books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

What does it mean to “succeed”? To us it means self awareness, connection to the whole, and sharing your gifts and talents. On this show we share a few ways to help your child find greater success. 1) (6:10) Send them to overnight camp. Benefits- Give your child a sense of independence that is hard to duplicate in their normal day to day lives. It’s a safe setting They can “shed” their old selves and be who they are There is less focus on appearance It’s a place where children can feel grounded They connect with nature Give them a different set of social circles to count on when one is not going well 2) (17:35) Let your child be sad even when it doesn’t make sense Todd tells a story of Camryn feeling homesick even though Cathy’s blog- The three myths about introverts 3) (23:20) “Influence” who your child is friends with Decide if a child/group either drain or fills your child up The delicate balance between prohibiting and discouraging certain friendships Understanding/connecting with other parents 4) Other Random Topics (33:09) Friday the 13th discussion (37:28) Resource of the week www.Kids-in-mind.com Evaluator of movies for kids (39:35) Tournament of Bad Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy’s books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

We discuss an article in Psychology Today titled What Happy People Do Differently The Real Rewards of Risk- When anxiety is an optional state A Blind Eye to Life’s Vicissitudes- The benefit of seeing the forest but not the trees The Unjealous Friend- We’re buoyed by others’ good fortune A Time For Everything- The upside of negative emotions The Well-Being Balancing Act- Pleasure and purpose work together Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy’s books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

8 things to help deal with back to school anxiety Why Ashton Kutcher’s stock skyrocketed for Todd One man’s message to his daughter- “I hope you have great sex” 4:27 Anxiety is normal. Sometimes parents tell their kids not to feel anxious. Listen Ask questions Be engaged Own your role in the situation Know you’re not alone It gets easier Advocate for your child in dealing with “inschool” sadness Ask for support for teacher 12:16 Chidren’s disappointment with classroom assignments. Todd balances understanding their disappointment with the privileges that our daughters enjoy. Girl Rising Documentary http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJsvklXhYaE 17:58 Ashton Kutcher gives an amazing speech @ the Teen Choice Awards Opportunity looks a lot like hard work Being Sexy Build a life, don’t live one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNXwKGZHmDc 26:00 Different definitions of smart Einstein quote- Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it’ll spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 34:02 Oops I made a mistake, that’s all. (Cathy cries) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lB3fi7opDBc 36:29 Dear Daughter: I hope you have awesome sex by Ferrett Steinmetz We discuss this blog and the differing opinions on it 44:28 Isn’t it Ironic? by Alanis Morisette Should it be called something different http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jne9t8sHpUc 46:30 Tournament of Bad Louisiana ladder- somebody actually won it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwlQ6bzCPL0   A Night Out for Moms-to-be! August 22nd 6:30-9:00 Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy’s books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

What can Taylor Swift teach our daughters? 3 more things every parent should know Hunger Games Camp- Good idea or bad idea? Time Stamp 1:39 Taylor Swift Concert Review 5:14 Men/Boy perspective on music 10:05 Habit #9 The secret to parenting is knowing when to let go 14:30 Habit #10 Trust yourself, you’re the expert on your child 16:20 When people dump their fear upon you 17:35 Stories Todd hears about what will happen when his daughters become teenagers 20:20 When kids begin separating from you 23:48 Todd’s secret to being more present with his kids 25:30 A Beginners Mind- looking at the world through the eyes of a child 27:45 Habit #11 Taking the long view (Don’t sweat the small stuff) 32:13 Hunger Games Camp- Good or Bad? 36:50 Debate on competition 43:02 Tournament of Bad Links relating to today’s show- 11 Things I wish every parent knew by Stephen Cowan Blog of hunger games as well as video http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/real-life-hunger-games-themed-camp-exists-florida-154400216.html A Night Out for Moms-to-be! August 22nd 6:30-9:00 http://www.chirotree.com/moms-to-be-night-out/ Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Men’s Group invitation- email Todd @ [email protected] Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy’s books for 1/2 off by sending us an email.   We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

We discuss how feeling “bad”, whether it’s emotional or physical, is actually not so bad. Should grief be a diagnosable disorder or is it normal human emotion? Movie quotes from Airplane, Talladega Nights, and Billy Madison Talking about patience as a virtue and Todd Todd sings “Patience” (G n Roses a cappella) Time Stamp .30 Looking at your kids illness differently 1:58 11 Things I wish every parent knew by Stephen Cowan 2:24 A symptom is the body’s way of letting us know something has to change 9:30 The craziness of the temperature fluctuations of a pregnant woman 12:45 The gift of pain 15:30 Grief is a diagnosable disorder? 18:00 Free Parenting presentation on Monday, August 12th 21:10 Be Prepared and put your children in a position to succeed 24:15 Our daughters like to impersonate Cathy- our kids are absorbing everything (positive and negative) that’s going on around them 26:26 Anger is a second tier emotion 28:36 Gary Zukav interpretation on anger 31:53 Be prepared and be patient with your illness 33:20 Differences ways we can view physical and mental illness (NAMI) 39:20 Tournament of Bad 42:45 Bis Markie a capella via Todd Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy’s books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. Upcoming FREE class at The Dailey Method, Elmhurst – Getting Ready for Junior High (for parents with kids 9 or older) We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!  

Brene Brown’s definition of Critical Awareness and dealing with our constant need to be productive. Time Stamp 2:20 Critical awareness 4:08 Body Image 10:03 Todd’s no shower story 15:15 Categorize and differentiating children’s fears 19:10 Addicted to productivity 28:38 Debate on different definitions of meditation 33:03 #4 & #5- from Things I wish every parent knew 39:30 Kids are your your spiritual teachers 45:04 Tournament of Bad Give us a review on iTunes and receive both of Cathy’s books for 1/2 off by sending us an email. Upcoming FREE class at The Dailey Method, Elmhurst – Getting Ready for Junior High (for parents with kids 9 or older) We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected]   You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting   You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/   Thank you for listening!!!

Topics: We discuss the problems with society’s version of masculinity vs. the hopes we have for our sons. We also discuss a few of the 11 things one doctor wished every parent knew. The Mask You Live In Trailer 11 Things I wish Every Parent Knew Time Stamp: 1:05 Redefining Masculinity 2:38 Be U- Helping Children Become Emotionally Intelligent Leaders 5:15 Clip #1 from The Mask You Live In- society’s stereo-types of what it means to “be a man” 9:26 Clip #2 from The Mask You Live In- Statement from man who is in touch with his emotions 17:40 Ted talk clip 19:30 Clip #3 from The Mask You Live In- The word “Love” is not used in the household 24:26 11 Things I wish Every Parent Knew by Dr. Stephen Cowan 27:15 Growth and development are not a race. 30:28 Creating family traditions encourages strong roots and a healthy life. 35:00 We grow in cycles 38:12 The Cabin in the Woods Review 43:52 Link to get books for ½ off 45:08 Recap on “Be U” 45:47 Tournament of Bad Links Miss Representation Documentary Trailer The Cabin in the Woods Trailer Kevin Breel Ted Talk: Confessions of a Depressed Comic We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

Topics: The Science of happiness, fathers who expect more from their sons, and using medical marijuana for sick kids We discuss two videos regarding the science of happiness: 4:24 The Science of Happiness 7:41 Showing gratitude is one of the keys to happiness (Soul Pancake Video) 8:45 Different ways to show gratitude without the guilt 9:30 Bon Jovi Concert Review 11:27 Tom Shadyac– Figure out what you do best and make that your way of giving back 13:38- We address the critics who say it’s not worth anything unless we “struggle” 16:30- Understanding yourself to make yourself a better person 18:16 Ted Talks – The science of happiness discussion 21:27 Cathy’s blog- Happiness vs Joy 26:41 Notes from the Universe Resource 29:11 Fathers who expect more from their son and treat their daughter as a princess 37:50 “Glee” Star dies 40:20 Parents using medical marijuana for their sick kids We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected] You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/ Thank you for listening!!!

Turning your children’s failures into positive experience, When children blur the lines between fact and opinion and how we can help them. If you want to make your life less chaotic, then you need to make a shift in your perceptions. We discuss what imaginal cells are in a butterfly and how we can learn from them. Both how it affects our own life as well as how we’re connected to one another. We get some help from the way one of our favorite authors Bruce Lipton. Go visit your parents or go to jail. That’s what they’re doing in China. More can be read about it here. We discuss whether or not this has a place in our culture. Time stamp 3:03 The swimming pool with the kids- Whose job is it? Mom or Dad? 4:15 Recollection of some of the finest moments of National Lampoon Vacation 13:40 Turning your children’s failures into positive experience 16:40 Understanding the negativity of the daily news and how it can propel us to the change the world 21:53 When children blur the lines between fact and opinion and how we can help them 24:38 The dangers of when our children start to question their own belief systems 26:45 Sheryl Sandberg- the wisdom of teaching our girls to be great leader 28:35 “Be U” Class information created by Todd/Cathy 29:20 Discussion of a new law in China prosecuting children for not checking in on their parents. See more here 34:00 ZPR has formed an alliance with Vitamix. If you’re interested in free shipping, please enter our coupon code 06-007296 36:35 Utilize the “search” function on our podcast to focus in on what the topics you’re interested in 37:05 Tournament of bad- voices that drive us nuts and people saying their busy 39:23 Cathy’s Chicago Parent column about boredom being a good thing Clips related to this episode: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AntZlE3cxiY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKsz0nBVvFI  

The word you need to incorporate into your parenting- “WAIT”. On todays show we discuss the following blog which can be found here. An excerpt from this blog… Parents need to slow down, stop comparing, and wait. This word, “wait,” is used too rarely in today’s frenetic lifestyle. Magda Gerber, a renowned child therapist and infant specialist, considered waiting to be a fundamental part of her child care philosophy. Parents don’t wait for their babies and children often enough, since we’re always in a mad rush for them to achieve, perform, and do us proud. By waiting for children to accomplish things in their own time, we acknowledge that each child has their own “unique developmental timetable.” Janet Lansbury explains the different ways in which parents should wait for their children. Here are some of her tips: Wait for development. “Readiness is when they do it,” Wait before interrupting. Allow your child to become an independent self-learner. Wait for problem solving. Children are capable of doing many things on their own. Wait for discovery. “When you teach a child something, you take away forever his chance of discovering it for himself.” (Jean Paiget) Wait for feelings to be expressed. Allow the child to process them before we react to our own emotions. We also talk about how we dealt when one of our children had their first experience with failure by not making the traveling soccer team. Girl Rising is a documentary about girls in other countries that fight for the rights that we take for granted in this country. It will be showed @ Old Orchard on Monday, July 22nd at 5pm. A preview can be found here If you’re interested in having a screening close to you, Text “Rise” 55155 to get more information to bring to your local theater. We give our review on two different movies “Monsters University” and “This is the End” 1st 10 people to write a review for us on iTunes gets both of Cathy’s books @ ½ price. Email us @ [email protected]

We discuss the story about a mom “spy” who told her 12 year old daughter she could spend time with her her friends, but also said she had to stay within a designated area. If she left the area, she was supposed to call her mom and let her know. The mom dropped off her daughter and then pulled the car around the block and parked out of sight so she “spy” or still see her daughter. The group of kids eventually left the designated area and the girl did not call her mom. Mom called the girl’s cell phone and said, “Where are you going? You were supposed to call me if you left the spot.” The child responded, “Where are you?” The mom said, “Never mind where I am, just let me know where you are going.” Was this mom right, wrong, or somewhere in between? We also discuss a 90 second video which can be seen here – it exemplifies what we miss when we’re addicted to technology. We continue to discuss our “Be U” program for 5th grade boys and girls. Finally, we discuss why Joe Torre receives “Father of the Week” honors as well as two topics in the Tournament of Bad- Fruit flies and Cathy writing checks to herself.

Cathy and I talk about sibling bullying. Is it accepted more because it’s part of living with brothers and sisters? Or maybe because bullying was part of our household growing up? We discuss a USA Today Article entitled “Bullying By Siblings Just As Damaging” Keep in mind it’s not just physical, it’s psychological as well. We give our two cents as well as some tools how to recognize if bullying is a problem and what to do about it. We also discuss an article titled “Coaches Pushing the Envelope with Offers to 8th Graders” Coaches of high profile programs offering scholarships to students as early as 7th grade. Is this a good thing? Or a bad thing? I explain why Phil Mickelson did something as father last week that I’m not sure that I could have the discipline to do. Read the story here. Are you or do you know a divorced parent? We give our second tip in our series where we give an idea to parents who are divorced to lead a healthy and happy life as a divorced parent. We have a follow up discussion to a podcast we did in March of last year entitled “Are You in The Middle Place” We have parents who are aging and have your kids who need all of our time and attention and we’re stuck in the middle. We give a new perspective on how best to cope with being pulled in opposite directions (parents/children, happy/sad) Lastly we continue our conversation regarding why we are struggling getting boys to register for our “Emotional Intelligence” Class this fall. PS The Tournament of Bad- Hair of the Dog and why drinking beer is socially acceptable @ 7:30AM

This week Cathy and Todd focus on two things: Emotional Intelligence and Summertime Blues. What is the importance of raising emotionally intelligent boys? They are offering a class for 5th grades (10 boys/10 girls) and the girls filled up almost immediately. The boys have been more of a challenge to recruit. They discuss why, and they specifically cite Cathy’s latest blog about why we need to let our sons feel. They talk about their 5 year old who decided she didn’t want to play in her soccer game over the weekend. There are many different ways this could be handled, and Cathy and Todd definitely have different perspectives. How would you handle it? It’s time for the kids to go to camp, but they don’t want to go. Could it be Summertime Blues? Todd and Cathy discuss how to empower the kids so they want to go rather than making them feel shame and guilt. They also discuss why parents who are divorcing or separated should never speak negatively about each other. This is an important way to protect your child from unnecessary pain. Finally, Todd is all bent out of shape when Jacey wants to wear glasses as an accessory (she doesn’t need them), but Cathy doesn’t care. Why does this bother Todd? Would it bother you? In the Tournament of Bad Todd takes issue with seagulls in the Walmart Parking Lot, the dreariness of the post office, and littering.

Cathy and Todd introduce you to their new program titled Be U: Helping 5th graders become emotionally intelligent leaders. Kids are always being told to focus on their IQ, but what about their Emotional Intelligence? Do they know their value and importance? Do they know how to work with others? Do they know how to manage their emotions? This 6 session program (offered in Elmhurst, IL) targets 5th graders to help them feel grounded in who they are before they head off to middle school. If you live in the are and you are interested in learning more about your child’s emotional intelligence, email [email protected]. Also, do you ever find yourself saying, “They say this is the best one.” or, “They say you shouldn’t do that.” Who is “they” anyway? Is it one article, a team of experts, or an opinionated neighbor? Do we just do what others tell us to do or do we use common sense and tap into what feels right? Cathy and Todd discuss the “they” phenomenon, and why people give their power away and/or forget to trust themselves. Plus they discuss Bruce Lipton’s Biology of Belief, why Chicago fans are the greatest, and why Cathy gets frustrated when Todd says he is “in charge” of the girls, but then heads outside to mow the lawn.

My guess is that your answer is, “I hope so” or “Of course I am”. Sometimes what we wish for our kids is different than how we treat our kids. An example of this trust issue happened to me at Great America when I waited in line with my daughter to get on a roller coaster only to find out when it was our turn to board that she was too afraid to get on. There are two extremes of handling this situation- either force your child through guilt, shame, or fear to get on, or you can say nothing at all and exit the line. On this podcast I share if what I did helped her learn to trust herself and the long term ramifications of either extreme. We explain the dangers of “labeling” your children as “good/bad” or “easy/challenging” and how that can affect who they are as they grow up. Plus, one of our listeners wants some advice regarding teenagers. While we don’t have any of our own (yet), Cathy explains the similarities between a three year old and a thirteen year old and the idea of universal principles. Lastly, I call myself out for not honoring Memorial Day and the inconsistencies between my thoughts and my actions. Todd

Is it naïve to be positive, or is it naïve to be negative? This is the question surrounding the short video entitled “This is Water”, an audio from author David Foster Wallace’s commencement speech. It’s backed up by meaningful and thought provoking video, reminding us to consider that if we view the world differently, we can change our own reality. Cathy and Todd discuss the common “monotony” of an adult day, and how we can make choices to live a more beautiful life, and recognize that we are indeed smack dab in the middle of the “good old days” Have your kids watched Star Wars yet? Cathy and Todd discuss the appropriate age to watch this classic movie, and why you should talk to your kids about the plot and characters beforehand. They also discuss their 5 year old’s recent restaurant meltdown, one of their favorite movie clips about “choice”, and why they love Andy Bernard from The Office.  

Sticks & Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me – is it true? We think yes, and we think no. Our friend’s daughter came home saddened by a classmate who said something mean – mom replied with, “words schmerds, don’t worry about it.” And her daughter said, “But those words hurt me.” We talk about the paradox of the importance and unimportance of words – they are powerful IF you give them significance. You may feel the initial pain of words, but do you integrate it as truth or do you let it go? We also discuss the “syrup incident”- One of our daughters decided to make Cathy feel guilty about not buying syrup for the waffles. Not the best way to start the day. Did she accept the guilt? Listen to hear the story. Then we talk about the “worry box” and how it might benefit you and the rest of your family. Did you love 80’s tv shows? Cathy and Todd share one of their favorite 80’s sitcom themes.

In a blog by Jill Kirby titled “If This Is Average, Then I’ll Take It” We discuss that in a “bell shaped” curve, most kids are academically average, yet very few parents are willing to accept this. We continue discussing how a kid might be average in the classroom, yet have other special gifts. Could they be good enough? And is good enough something you can handle? It is our job as parents to nurture and help our children discover their own special talents and gifts. We also discuss the continuous requests from certain listeners for Cathy to “lose her S%&*” and just be mad, mean, and negative. Cathy tactfully defends her position on her view of the world. Cathy and I both explain our approach to our podcast and why having “rose colored” glasses on most of the time might not be such a bad way to spend the day. We also aim to bring ourselves as well as our listeners to be “in the know” regarding technology. Did you know that most kids consider Facebook and email a communication vehicle of the past. When did I become so old? We end the show with our bad 80’s songs as well as an entry into the tournament of bad.  

Jason Collins comes out as the first openly gay current NBA star. We discuss why this will help our culture to continue to evolve to be one of inclusiveness instead of one of exclusion. We also talk how this will positively affect all young boys and girls who are gay now might be able to look at this situation and imagine possibilities of their own life that were otherwise more difficult to see. We discuss Senator Rob Portman from Ohio changing his position on gay marriage after his son came out. Cathy tells a story of some reformed skinheads that she saw on a follow up show of The Oprah Winfrey Show I bring some information of why it might not matter where your kids go to college. As parents, we labor over our kids studies on a daily basis. I relay an interview I heard on NPR’s Planet Money where they interview Charles Wheelan author of Naked Statistics. In it the author discusses why where you go to college may have less importance than originally thought. This created a platform for Cathy and I to discuss other things we can focus on in addition to academics as well as what the definition of success might actually be. Lastly- I tell a story over the weekend of how my two older daughters disappointed me and how I may have had as much responsibility as they did. We also give our entries into the new segment- Bad 80’s songs as well as the Tournament of Bad Todd

The Butterfly Effect, you have heard of it right? What you do has ripples and effects others around the world. In the wake of the Boston Bombings, and all of the activities that have taken place since, it appears that there is no better display of the Butterfly Effect to be seen right now. Cathy and Todd talk about how teaching your children about this idea can lead them down the road to success and goodness. The foundational components of goodness in children can be visualized through their emotional intelligence, self-awareness, compassion, appreciation of nature. That teaching begins at home. Also on the show, have your children made you forget who you used to be? This week Todd took his sister out to dinner for the first time in a good long while and it made him realize that his kids have unknowingly changed the relationship that he has with his birth family. Have other parents out there had the same awareness? What are some things that can be done to avoid the loss of relationship that you had before your children decided to show up? They also give their two cents on the aftermath of the bombings in Boston and the non-stop news coverage that always accompanies these tragic events. Are you somebody that is glued to the TV during these heartfelt times? If so- do you have an awareness of how this may affect your children? Cathy gives her perspective on how she talked to her 5, 8 and 10 year old. Cathy is offering a virtual retreat focusing on The Beauty of NOW beginning April 29th. Click here for more info. Finally, they discuss bad 80’s songs that we all listened to and we ask ourselves- why?

Cathy and Todd follow up on last week’s ADHD discussion because they received some not-so-happy feedback from some listeners. They address the fact that often times when a child is medicated, it can be a very difficult and well thought out decision, it’s not always thought of as a quick fix. But in too many cases, it’s the first choice, and that’s where a new perspective or different options may make a difference. They also take issue with a Colorado school that implemented a no running/yelling rule during recess on the play ground. How is this possible? Isn’t the whole point of recess to run, yell, and play? No wonder children have issues with managing their own behavior in the classroom – they aren’t allowed to get their energy out during recess! Todd pats himself on the back when he gives to a honorable charity, but it hasn’t always been an easy decision, he’s been conned into giving to false charities in the past. But it’s not worth it to be cynical, we need to keep an open heart and mind. Cathy and Todd announce the winners of the Tournament of Bad March Madness contest, and then finish by addressing one of their listeners questions about a sweet, but sometimes aggressive 7 year old. Sometimes he’s just too rough, and mom doesn’t know how to handle it.

Are there “alternative” ways to deal with ADHD other than popping a pill? Cathy and Todd discuss the significant number of children that are diagnosed with ADHD (6.4 million children) and why 2/3 of them are given a prescription. Todd recalls a recent experience where he witnessed a 40+ year old bully a 10 year old boy – he wishes he could have the moment back and do it differently. Todd and Cathy face-off on the best way to “teach” their 10 year old daughter the social norm of introducing herself to others. Cathy is offering “The Beauty of Now” virtual retreat” just in time for Mother’s Day – give this gift to yourself. Starts on April 29th. Click the link to find out more.

Cathy and Todd talk about sibling rivalry, how it’s good “life practice”, and the differences between what’s normal and when it’s a good idea to interfere. They also talk about family meetings and how to get everybody on the same page (before the kids tune you out). Todd talks about Lisa Reagan‘s article titled “Why and How Do We Shift” (in Pathways to Family Wellness Magazine) where she shares four different ways to open up to personal transformation.