Zen Pop

Why do we think our children need to be busy all of the time? Because WE are busy all of the time. Cathy and Todd discuss why sports and social activities can be good, but too much can be a problem. Kids need to learn how to “BE” instead of thinking they always need to “DO”. It’s OK if our kids get bored – of course we can play every once in awhile, but its not our job to be their constant entertainers. Let them get bored so their imagination has the opportunity to take over – it’s a muscle that needs a work out! If we don’t let them get bored, this muscle is weak. Our children need to learn how to think out of the box and come up with new ideas – where does this come from? The imagination! So open up some space in their lives, let go of the guilt, and let them get BORED.

Cathy and Todd discuss The Hunger Games and why it’s so disturbing – and why does it get a PG-13 rating (kids killing kids!) while the documentary Bully gets an R rating for dropping a few f-bombs? They also discuss why what you read or watch effects how you view the world (so choose wisely!). Todd continues to find things that bug him and adds them to his tournament of “bad”.

The documentary called “Bully” comes out this Friday and everyone is talking about it. From the rating to the relevancy, it’s touched a nerve everywhere. Cathy and Todd discuss bullying, what bullies really want, and ways to support a child who is being bullied (and how to support a child who is bullying!). They also talk about their new idea of “Tournament of Bad” but for Parenting (Todd stole the idea off of his local sports radio’s show 670thescore.com) …..listen, check out the Facebook page, and come up with your own and help us fill out some brackets.

Do you find yourself taking care of your children and helping your parents? Cathy and Todd discuss the challenge of being in the “middle place”, but they also discuss why it can be a really beautiful time. Make yourself a priority so you can be there for the people you love the most! Read Cathy’s Chicago Now blog about her experience with her dad. Upcoming Zen Parenting events: Family yoga – April 13 (2nd Friday of every month) Just Cathy – Workshop for moms – “Raising daughters who love themselves” – April 14th Cathy and Todd – Workshop for dads – “Raising Daughters who love themselves” – May 19th Call The Dailey Method, Elmhurst at 630.832.3245 to register!

Todd and Cathy discuss questions from listeners – for example, how to not be “broken open” by your kids traumas, how to handle a pet dying, how to handle disrespectful or defiant behavior and much more. They also waste some time talking about Friday the 13th and Jason……do you remember his last name? Cathy does! And speaking of Friday the 13th, Cathy and Todd will be teaching family at The Dailey Method, Elmhurst on Friday, April 13th…come if you dare. And, Cathy is teaching a workshop called “Raising Children Who Love Themselves” at the Dailey Method on Saturday, April 14th (12:30 – 3:00) – call 630 832 3245 to register. Need a speaker(s) for your group, book club, school or organization? Cathy and Todd would love to be your presenters! Contact [email protected] for more information.

Yes, Rush has apologized, but that’s after a lot people spoke up and said “this is not OK” – how do we “speak up” in our life without bringing anger to anger? Can we stay conscious and kind even in a divisive situation like this? Or do we go numb and do nothing at all? Cathy and Todd discuss this and also share how they handled the death of their little blue fish Freddy. Cathy and Todd will be teaching Family Yoga at The Dailey Method in Elmhurst on Friday, March 9th – call 630-832-3245 to register. AND, come see Zen Parenting Radio and Tree of Life Chiropractic in the St. Patrick’s Day Parade, Saturday, March 10th at 12:00!

We have more influence than we think. On today’s show we discuss last week’s episode of Modern Family. Haley lost her virginity as a subplot of the show. Was this inappropriate tv, or a vehicle to start an all important discussion. Cathy and Todd go back and forth. Where do you weigh in on the discussion?

Are you a giver? Or, are you an OVER giver? Do you give too much and forget to keep some for yourself? Cathy and Todd discuss Cathy’s latest blog about giving, resentment, the need for self care, and somehow they end up talking about Twilight (Edward can be worked into any conversation…)

On today’s show Todd talks about how love is an ACTION. It may start as a feeling, but then love becomes a VERB. Are you “loving” the ones you love? Are you truly demonstrating how you feel? Instead of focusing on the gifts today, share your love through long hugs, listening, smiling, and holding hands. Allow the ones that matter most to FEEL your love…now that’s a gift! Happy Valentine’s Day 🙂

Todd and Cathy discuss the book Bringing up Bebe: One Mother Discusses the Wisdom of French Parenting and why the author believes American parents “overparent”. They also discuss Cathy’s latest Chicago Parent blog about finding your magic and seeing and validating your child’s magic.

It’s OK not to cry when your baby shows up for the first time. Don’t let your wife make a list when she goes away for a long weekend. It might take awhile for you to fall in love with your new baby. After the baby shows up, you are not going to have sex for a long time. Morning sickness blows. And more….

The “angry jar” vs the “emotional vomit” – Which one is best the best way to raise a happy, healthy child? Cathy and Todd also discuss Cathy’s WGN radio interview on nursing in public and the inherent contradiction between the sexualization of women in the media vs. the overall discomfort of seeing a woman nurse in public.  

In the movie The Breakfast Club, Allison says that when you grow up, your heart dies. Is there any truth to that? Cathy and Todd discuss how to keep PLAY and keep your heart alive. They also discuss how movies and television paint the picture of a sad, dangerous and lonely world. It’s time to reconnect with your kid or teenage self and have a little fun!

What is the Best way to deal with emotions? Two heavyweights battle it out. In this corner, it’s Parenting Unplugged and their “Anger Jar”. In the other corner, it’s Zen Parenting Radio and their “Emotional Vomiting”. The tale of the tape tells one story. This episode tells another. Where do you weigh in?  

Have You Heard of The Movie “The Tree of Life?” Cathy and Todd saw it and it prompted an awesome dialogue about parenting, childhood, grieving, and even creation – reviews are mixed, but these hosts loved the spiritual nature of the film. Are you looking to go a little deeper this year? This show is a great kick start! They also introduce their new partner, Tree of Life Chiropractic Center – fabulous coincidence don’t you think?

Todd and Cathy discuss how men’s testosterone levels are decreasing because they are more hands-on with their kids. But some things tend to stay the same – Todd didn’t lift a finger getting ready for Xmas and Cathy carried the load as usual – can anyone relate? Cathy also had a deep awareness (shocker!) about why Todd balances her out – and why she balances him out. By the way, that line was from the Enjoli perfume commercial, 1980. I did change the words a little…

Cathy and Todd talk Christmas, getting parts stolen off their car, Todd’s inability to say he is sick, and Cathy’s night out at the B96 Jingle Bash with Jason Derulo and Enrique Iglesias. They also pose the question, why is December the only month we feel so giving and connected? Why can’t we take the holiday spirit year round?

Why do some parents make their kids sit on Santa’s lap? Are your holidays chaotic? Cathy and Todd want to know why….do you feel like you have to go to the cookie exchange and you have to see Santa? Instead of the have-tos, celebrate the season YOUR way! They also discuss the importance of being present for the season and for the gift opening. Todd decides he wants to “control” gift opening this year, but Cathy doesn’t agree. How do you manage the craziness of gift-giving?

Todd & Cathy have seen infants and toddlers being taken to movies like The Dark Knight, Breaking Dawn and other adult-themed shows. Todd’s reaction caught Cathy by a bit of a surprise. Is your reaction different? Cathy’s latest Chicago Parent blog has more, but from her perspective. Chicago Tribune’s John Kass thinks ZP Radio’s partner Poofin is a “stupid” toy…..we don’t think he understands the purpose! It’s more than just a pillow, it’s a scrapbook, it’s a conversation piece, it’s a comfort toy…..we love what Poofin has to offer – it allows children to recognize what they love and what they feel and it allows them to share themselves with others – what could be better? Need a great holiday gift for an expecting parent, a new parent, an experienced parent or a grandparent? Purchase Cathy’s “Self-Aware Parent Gift Set” – it includes both of her books signed, a white blank journal, an angel ornament, and it’s wrapped and ready to give…and it’s only $25! Click here to purchase.

Pizza is a vegetable? You heard it right, at least according to our lawmakers. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-katz-md/pizza-vegetable_b_1114027.html Todd finally vents about Congress and their misguided motivation regarding a news story that came out and his new idol Dylan Ratigan. See why @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlSd9OURbCE How does Cathy reacts to getting flipped off during a moment in traffic? She turns into a duck. Remember the ducks and what we can learn from them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwK-FYx58to What’s to blame for Todd stomach ache? A plateful of Howard Stern.

Cathy and Todd discuss the importance of gratitude – for the week of Thanksgiving and for the entire year. They also discuss the truth behind anger, how to handle our children’s disrespectful or defiant behavior, and how to stay parental rather than resort to kid-like behavior.

Today on Zen Parenting Radio Todd and Cathy discuss the Penn State scandal, Cathy’s latest Chicago Parent blog, and how to keep our children emotionally safe. It’s time to focus on what we CAN do – it doesn’t help to be fearful or untrusting – instead, we can open up communication in the home by respecting our children’s instincts and respecting what they have to say. We need to listen more and talk less.

Cathy and Todd discuss the difference between loving yourself and being vain as discussed in Cathy’s latest Chicago Parent blog. There’s also some tensions as Todd’s been walking out of the room mid discussion with Cathy. Is it multi-tasking or rude? Tune in and find out.  

Today on Zen Parenting Radio – are you looking for love, grace, and peace? You don’t need to look outside of yourself, it already lives in your heart! Todd and Cathy discuss Cathy’s most recent Chicago Parent blog about the power of our heart center – let’s embrace it and teach our kids to do the same!

Cathy and Todd discuss forcing your children to apologize. Is there a better way to handle this? They discuss the balance between teaching manners as socially acceptable behavior vs using the situation as a teachable moment and to go a little deeper. You could read about it in her Chicago Parent blog as well.

Todd and Cathy discuss uncomfortable conversations and why they are so important – they focus on Cathy’s recent Chicago Parent blog….do we fight and pretend it didn’t happen, do we totally avoid, or do we handle disagreements with openness and bravery?

Todd and Cathy discuss the controversy surrounded Walter Payton and discuss Cathy’s new Chicago Parent blog titled Sweetness in Life: Lessons from Walter Payton – is he really “tainted” like the commentators say, or can we see him as a human being with flaws – aren’t we all? They discuss how parents need to embrace their flaws, how we all need to understand our “shadow” and they do a fantastic rendition of Kumbaya.

Todd and Cathy discuss Cathy’s article about Mindful Parenting in the October issue of Chicago Parent . They talk in depth about the 3 simple ideas (breathe, find quiet, smile) that lead to more calm, less chaos, and greater connection to the moment. Speaking of talking in depth – is your book club, bunko group or group of friends interested in talking deep about parenting, self awareness, or simply enjoying life? Contact Cathy at www.cathycassaniadams.com or [email protected] – she can run a discussion group right in the privacy of your home! And if you are looking for the perfect gift for a birthday party, check out www.poofin.com – it’s a wonderfully unique gift that allows children to communicate who they are – it’s also a comforting and cuddly toy for every night or overnights. Movie line –”I am a golden god. And you could tell Rolling Stone Magazine my last words were… I’m on drugs!!!!

Praise is great, but what are you praising? Is it the end result or the effort? Todd and Cathy discuss praise and how to influence a child’s desire to aim higher instead of lower. Big talks about homework, test scores, and reaching for the stars…..

Do you notice that your child likes to follow and listen to other people? Do you wish your child would be more of a leader? Today Cathy and Todd discuss why children “conform”, why this makes parents so uncomfortable, and how to view being a “follower” in a different way. Poofin.com – get your favorite picture and customize a charm! Go to the “Poofin Factory” and watch the Poofin be made…it’s worth a look! Movie line -“I had no idea you could milk a cat.” “Oh yeah- you could milk anything with nipples.” “I have nipples Greg- could you milk me?”

Supporting our children when they are afraid Does it make your uncomfortable when your children are afraid? Do you find yourself telling them to stop being afraid rather than comforting them when they need it most? Listen today as Todd and Cathy discuss children’s fear and anxiety and how we can deal with it in an effective and compassionate way. Poofin.com Don’t forget to use our coupon code “zencharm” Movie quote – “’Over’? Did you say ‘over’? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!”

Todd and Cathy discuss why kids have tantrums and how to look at them differently…..instead of feeling out of control, can we feel compassion and understanding? And really, adults have tantrums, too, we just call them by a different name, like feeling “impatient”, “stressed” or “overwhelmed”. Cathy and Todd also discuss how to avoid tantrums (adult and child!) by discussing and processing feelings in the home.

Todd and Cathy discuss miscarriage, share their own personal experiences and focus on the need for grieving, healing and supporting each other through this kind of loss. They also discuss how giving birth is viewed as a “medical issue” rather than a natural process and highly recommend the documentary The Business of Being Born. Movie quote: Give a different line from the same movie via facebook and enter to win a free book… “What is it?” “It’s a gun rack.” “A gun rack… a gun rack. I don’t even own “a” gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do… with a gun rack?” “You don’t like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you’re not careful, you’re going to lose me.” “I lost you 2 months ago. We broke up. Are you mental? Get the net!”

A birth plan is a great idea, but can you really “plan” how your children are born? Cathy and Todd talk about their birth stories, their thoughts regarding natural birth, and they share life lessons learned through the birth process….

Quit telling your kids how great the school year is going to be….if they feel anxious, let them be anxious! They don’t need you to tell them how great it’s going to be, they just need your support and validation. Instead of telling your kids how to feel, let them to you how they feel and know that with your love, they will work through it. AND, Todd gets deep about attending an American Idol concert with this dad….things were a little pitchy Dawg!

Do you find yourself agonizing over the past or worrying about what could happen in the future? Do you wish you could be more present for your children instead of always thinking about “what if”? You are not alone. Listen as Todd and Cathy discuss what it means to be here now and how to practice mindfulness in our everyday parenting experiences. Parenting Resource of the week – Kandle Kidswear (www.kandlekidswear.com) – a local and sustainable company using American Apparel organic shirts and sew on appliques made from recycled plastic bottles – cute and fun shirts for kids. Movie line – “Give me my Firebird keys.” “You must chill. You must chill. I have hidden your Keys… Chil!l” “I love you man.” “Allright, I love you too. go to sleep.” “We’re full on buds.”  

In this episode Cathy and Todd ask each other deep questions and surprise each other with their answers….it’s a great way to keep a partnership interesting! You can also use questions (from the book “If”) with your children…..stay connected and build relationships through question asking. Click here to learn more about Cathy’s Book Release Open House! http://www.cathycassaniadams.com/book-signing Movie quote – “It ain’t show friends, it’s show business.”

Are you a knit picker? Do you point out flaws in the hope that it will lead to change? If you really want to see a change, start pointing out the strengths…..as they say, what you focus on grows! Listen as Todd and Cathy discuss how to improve relationships by being a cheerleader rather than a nitpicker. Parenting Resource of the week – Parent2ParentU Facebook Page and website – https://www.facebook.com/pages/Parent2ParentU/364139551483 Abbreviated Movie line – “The space goes … downtown baby … ” (got to listen to the show to get the full effect)  

What are your children really trying to say?   Do your children use swear words or use strong language like “hate” or “kill”? Todd and Cathy discuss what your children are really trying to convey…..can we help them find different ways to express how they feel or appropriately ask for what they need? Parenting resource of the week – Pagatim.fm! Check out all the great podcasts on Pagatim (www.pagatim.fm)…..Parenting Unplugged, Dads Unplugged, Single Parents, Luvmour Family Relationships, Transforming Diabetes, Hybrid Life, and Launchpad Radio….so much great information for conscious families! Movie quote of the week – Life moves pretty fast- if you don’t stop and look around once in awhile- you might miss it.

Today Todd and Cathy talk about the “weird one”, the “emotional one” or the “truth teller” in the family – as parents can we be more accepting of our children’s differences, traits, and difficulties? Is something really wrong with them or do we need to find new ways to understand, appreciate and connect? Parenting resource of the week: Cultivating Radiance by Tamara Gerlach…..all about finding your inner radiance and sharing it with others. Beautiful stories, quotes, and suggestions that guide you to your highest potential. Check out www.tamaragerlach.com Movie quote of the week, “go get your shine box.”  

Video Games- The supreme court just said that any kid any age can purchase any game they want. What’s your take? Is there a difference b/w Space Invaders and Grand Theft Auto? How to use video games to your parental advantage Like what you heard? Have Cathy present to your group- more info can be found @ http://www.cathycassaniadams.com/speaking-presentations Parent Resource of the week- Looking to get family pictures taken? Look no further http://cherylpacyna.zenfolio.com/ Last but not least- listen to Todd’s best Schwarzenegger impersonation

Why are so many children diagnosed with disorders and given powerful medications that may not even be necessary? Listen as Todd and Cathy discuss the epidemic of over diagnoses and how parents can be more aware of what is indeed “normal”. They reference this recent article in Newsweek – http://www.newsweek.com/2011/06/19/mommy-am-i-really-bipolar.html And their “parent resource of the week” is Square One Organics (www.squareoneorganics.com), frozen organic superfoods for babies and kids.

Todd and Cathy discuss FOOD, our conflicting emotions about food, why it can be difficult to feed our kids. As parents we need to understand how we feel about food so we can pass on a positive message to our children. It’s time to get smart about eating and let go of the guilt! Food is our first line of defense when it comes to health, but it should also be a pleasurable experience. How do we do this? Listen today! Also check out our Parent Resource of the week Siv Sjöholm Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/pages/Success-Is-Vitality/151492724868603 Website www.SuccessIsVitality.com    

What are the top 5 deathbed regrets? Listen to this show and learn…..just a hint, most of them are about enjoying the moment, “being” instead of “doing” and choosing happiness over stress. Simple, right? Then why doesn’t everybody live this way? Listen as Cathy and Todd discuss the way to really integrate this wisdom and change your life for the better. Check out our parenting resource of the week – Soul to Soul Parenting: A Guide to Raising a Spiritually Conscious Family by Annie Burnside – www.annieburnside.com Want Cathy’s new book? Go to www.cathycassaniadams.com or Amazon.com….it’s called The Self-Aware Parent Two: 23 More Lessons for Growing with Your Children…..buy Cathy’s first and second book for only $20 at www.cathycassaniadams.com/buy-the-self-aware-parent-books

Cathy and Todd discuss the breastfeeding-in-public controversy and talk about the laws and issues surrounding nursing. There are varying opinions about breastfeeding based on personal history, experiences, and access to current information….Cathy and Todd challenge you to have respectful discussions about this issue – listening and learning is the key to normalizing this often contentious subject. To pre-order Cathy’s new book, The Self-Aware Parent Two: 23 More Lessons for Growing with Your Children, click here – www.cathycassaniadams.com Ask Cathy to come to talk to your book club, organization, or just gather a group of friends at your house….let’s discuss self care, parenting, and how to enjoy life to the fullest! Contact Cathy at [email protected] or click here for more information – www.cathycassaniadams.com/speaking-presentations

What do YOU want? Cathy and Todd discuss why it’s important to let go of the way your family did things. Be open to what your partner brings to the table and create a family based on what works best for both of you. Getting married and having children is another stage of development….your relationships with your family of origin (and inlaws) will change, but you can still remain loving, grateful, and connected.  

Cathy and Todd discuss the importance of allowing for pain, sadness, and grief, and how to be the best possible listener for your kids and other loved ones. If you or your family is dealing with crisis, divorce, death, or just overall challenges, this show is for you.  

Listen as Todd and Cathy share their pet peeves and then discover new and more positive ways to view these annoyances. Cathy finds some strengths, but Todd is challenged to understand the concept. They continue to discuss that everything can viewed differently and that sometimes the most difficult issues (your daughter is bossy and stubborn) can have a different viewpoint (she is a natural leader who won’t be swayed by peer pressure because she knows how to hold her ground).  

Are you stuck in old patterns and fearful of what’s ahead? Cathy and Todd encourage you to be present in the moment and go with the flow….life is exciting and constantly flowing, so learn to flow with it. This is especially important as your children grow and change…will you stay stuck, or will you allow them to evolve?

Fear is normal. It’s normal for children to be afraid. Instead of telling them to not be afraid, let’s help them find tools to deal with their fear. Speaking of fear, Todd scared his daughter when he dressed up as Cookie Monster….his intentions were good, but it didn’t quite work out the way he planned…… Here’s the link to Cathy’s blog that we mention on the show – http://www.chicagoparent.com/community/the-self-aware-parent/2011/march/let%27s-be-clear—what-do-we-really-want-for-our-children