The UnMothered Podcast

Often you might hear: “God, why did this happen to me?” I believe there is a difference between blessings and curses and shifts in our lives.But, we are responsible for some of the choices we make. Also, sometimes things happen that we don’t see coming. But through it all God will work it out for you if you allow Him to be in charge. We need to start learning the difference between something you brought on yourself, versus something that was completely out of your control. We have an ego that gets in the way of really listening to God’s path instead of our own. People think that every time a struggle comes about, it must be a curse! Listen to the episode today, and let me know your thoughts. Do you think there are generational curses?Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Do you do things out of genuine kindness or because you think people won’t like you if you don’t help? Are you a people pleaser or perfectionist? Have you ever asked yourself where that started and why? Helping others is a great quality but only if you do it out of love, not guilt or shame. Let’s find out who told you to be perfect at all times, and let’s start learning the word “no” out of love for yourself and others. Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

A year of loss has taught me so many things about how different causes of death affect us and ultimately how we handle grief and loss. Also, the timeline for “getting over it” is this…there isn’t one! You have to allow God AND your body to work through grief. I will walk you through some things I have learned and how I feel about loss after a year of losing 3 loved ones in a short amount of time.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Are you team Lorelai team Emily or maybe even Rory? If you are familiar with the show “Gilmore Girls” you know these characters well. The mother/daughter/granddaughter dynamic had me glued to the show. Whenever there is a mother/daughter storyline, I’m ready to watch and observe. So my question is “which mom is right?” You will have to listen to this episode to find out, but one thing is for sure…there is more than one side to the story.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What do your dreams look like and are you ready to make them happen in 2025? Do you know how much you have helped my dreams come true by supporting this podcast? Grateful is an understatement, but today I want to help you fulfill something in your heart that you have been wanting to do. It’s coming up on a new year and you don’t want to waste it by just dreaming about someday…make it happen! Never forget the people who will support and help you also. They are all around you, they want you to succeed and they will be by your side every step of the way. I am grateful to my peeps for listening to all my crazy thoughts and conversations.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

I will chat with you all next week in the new year, 2025, so exciting! We are having some fun things coming next year, like our 100th episode and so much more. Talk soon peeps!Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Hi peeps! We are taking December off, but we will talk to you all soon in 2025! In the meantime, follow us on Instagram and let us know what topics you want to discuss in the new year. Hope you all have a great holiday season! Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Holidays are naturally stressful for most of us, but add in a narcissistic mom and it becomes a whole other stressor. Part of our generational dysfunction is putting up with stressful situations with our moms year after year with holiday get-togethers. This year it can be different if you decide to stop the old habits. It’s not easy, and I have done it so I know what I speak of. In the long run, it is so worth it. The holidays I share today with my own adult children and grandchildren are filled with joy, lots of laughter, and some exhaustion from my own expectations (which includes way too much cooking!) The new traditions have given me more peace and have made me enjoy this time of year, whereas years before used to make me so anxious. You can restore your holidays too. Listen to some of the tips I share!This is our last episode for the year! We will take a break from the podcast in December but don’t worry because we will return in January with new episodes. Have a happy holiday season peeps!Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How many moms raised their kids in the 90’s purity culture? I sure did, and while I did it with good intentions if I could go back in time, I would have done some things differently. One thing I did do was keep the lines of communication open with my daughters so they knew they could always come and talk to me about anything.Listen in as I discuss this meaty topic that may be an unpopular opinion with some, but may help others with a great way to talk to your kids about life issues.This week's episode came from another listener! I’ve been loving hearing about topics you want to chat about. I’ll leave a link below if you have a topic suggestion!Have a podcast suggestion? Leave us an anonymous topic suggestion here: https://forms.gle/Qnhv53jCkpKNnVtc8 Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What do you do when your mother bad-mouths your in-laws and you tell your husband and now she is angry with you? Well, let's track the reason why she felt the need to talk about them in a cruel manner in the first place. Sometimes we can trust our moms with private information, and sometimes we absolutely can not! In this episode, we will explore this topic from a mom who is dysfunctional and does not have your best interest at heart. This week's episode came from a listener! I love hearing about topics you want to chat about. I’ll leave a link below if you have a topic suggestion!Have a podcast suggestion? Leave us an anonymous topic suggestion here: https://forms.gle/Qnhv53jCkpKNnVtc8 Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Today, we are discussing the “winter arc,” or the last three months of the year, and how we can reset anything that hasn’t worked so far.Just as the leaves change color and fall away, it is also a time for fresh growth. We can do the same with this year's old habits. We can restart and move away from the things that need new growth. This is the thing with the beginning of a new year. We get to dig in and lay low but also regroup and rethink about what's to come. We can start to dream and pray for new beginnings! The good thing about life is it is ever-changing.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor's wife, and mother. She is a regular contributor for ibelieve.com, and crosswalk.com and has written for Focus on the Family, Campus Crusade for Christ, and Christianity Today. She also is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.com.Her new book Hall of Faith is available October 29th! https://a.co/d/2KWCeleLooking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Do you do things in your marriage because it’s what you saw growing up or are you doing things differently because of seeing it go wrong for your parents? So many times we inadvertently do the traditional roles like our parents did. Even if those things are unhealthy, how do we know how to do it differently? Will it blow up in our faces if we ask for what we want in this relationship? These are things we should be talking about before we walk down the aisle, but if we haven’t, it’s not too late, in fact, I would say, you are right on time! Be brave and know that if it works for you and your husband it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s marriage. If it keeps you both happy and content, that is a win in my book! Listen in as I talk about what Mike and I do that keeps us both happy in our marriage roles.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Something that’s weighed heavy on my mind lately, is the subject of grief or sadness and how most people are so uncomfortable sitting with themselves and others through it. How do we get to where we are not rushed through this journey? We will all experience loss, sadness, and grief in our lifetime. Let’s get better at understanding it and helping others to feel loved and heard when it happens.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

In this episode, we chatted with Jessica Van Roekel about rejection and how it seeps into our childhoods and adult lives. What happens when you start believing the lies that rejection can bring? And what does God want you to feel about rejection? Listen in as we discuss how it can affect friendships, careers, and the lens of how we see others. Jessica Van Roekel loves the upside-down life of following Jesus as she journeys to wholeness through brokenness. As an author, speaker, and worship pastor, she uses her gifts and experiences to share God’s transformative power to rescue, restore, and renew. She longs for you to know that rejection doesn’t have to define or determine your future when placed in God’s healing hands. Jessica and her husband have two adult daughters spreading their wings, a son in college and a high school daughter, fluttering their wings as they edge closer to the nest. Connect with her at welcomegrace.com.Website:https://welcomegrace.comhttps://reframingrejectionbook.comTo Order Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes EverythingAmazon: https://a.co/d/1yINcrVDownloadable Freebie: Reframing Rejection with Wisdom from Philippianshttps://shiny-unit-32871.myflodesk.com/p552p5ly77Free gift, 3-Day Reframing Rejection Challenge, for new subscribers to my twice a month devotional, Grace Notes:https://shiny-unit-32871.myflodesk.com/vrsy5vmtyvSocial Media:https://www.instagram.com/jessica.vanroekel/https://www.facebook.com/jessicavanroekel.authorhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UC95IGRLVBwx5vYX6R2hwApgLooking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

This episode is so special to me because Kristi Lowe is on the podcast. She shares her unmothered story with others to help share that you are not alone in your mommy issues. Kristi is a Christian author and speaker and hosts the Even If Podcast. She knows life rarely goes according to plan, family dynamics are complicated, and mental health is no joke. She lives in Lubbock, Texas with her family and rescue dogs. I’m so excited to have another woman sharing her unmothered story with us!Follow her on Facebook @kristiglowe, IG @kristilowe or www.kristilowe.com.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

I was so excited to talk with my new friend Kim Hardy today. This episode dives deep into mental health and how to recognize the incorrect narratives we have for ourselves. She is an author and speaker passionate about giving women hope through Biblical truth. She seeks to inspire, renew, and restore hurting women so they can thrive and live joy-filled lives. Kim loves to read, write, and spend time outdoors. She is married to her knight in shining armor who keeps her laughing.I hope you enjoyed this episode peeps, and if you want to connect with Kim head to her website or Facebook page!Facebook: FacebookWebsite: Kim Hardy | Sunflowers of Hope Ministry | motivational speakerAmazon: Fighting My Battles with God on My Side  https://a.co/d/2o9bVrdLooking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

This week's episode came as an anonymous request through my weekly newsletter, Tuesday Talks With Phylis (link in bio to sign up or head to my website!).Let’s talk about the do’s and don’ts of letting our children be a part of our mothers’ lives and what do you do when your toxic mom wants to be a part of your children’s lives?Can we let them have a relationship with their grandchildren even though we have a dysfunctional one? If there is a special relationship that your mom has with her grandchildren, you can set a boundary around it. But if she isn’t respectful of your rules or intentions then I think you need to set some limits.Listen to your kids! If they are not comfortable being around her, respect that too. Your children will find their voice if they feel safe with you and know how to speak up. Don’t use your kids as pawns in this family game. Listen and watch. We are not trying to be cold mamas that just cut off our moms for no reason. There is no easy answer to each individual situation, and I won’t be someone who will say “Do it this way or else!” What I know about God is that He will take things we don’t understand and do what he plans all along. We can’t be in control of every little thing, but we can have hope that maybe our children’s relationships can be beautiful. If not, then we can be the safety for them that they need to stay away from someone who could hurt them. The choice is ours, with prayer, common sense, and thought. I’m praying you find peace with all of this!Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

We talked with Cheryl Lutz today about being a pastor’s wife, being a recovering people pleaser, and some of her own mother's issues. Cheryl Lutz is an inspirational speaker, certified biblical counselor, Bible teacher, and podcast host. She is likewise the author of Securely Held: Finding Significance and Security in the Shelter of God’s Embrace, the 2024 1st place Selah award winner in the Christian Life category.Her mission is to assist Christian women in breaking the power of others; opinions and find their significance and security in God. Cheryl and her husband, Alan, live in a quaint cabin snuggled in the North Georgia Mountains, a good gift from their Abba Father. They have four adult children and one son-in-love. Cheryl is a proud Mimi to Elle, Luna, and Yoda, their two granddogs and grand-cat! Please reach out to Cheryl on her website and let her know how she can serve your women’s group! CherylLutz.comSocial Links:Instagram: https://www.instagram.comcheryllutz_securelyheldFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/SecurelyHeld/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cheryl-lutz-31755b58/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@cheryllutz_securelyheldLooking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Part of breaking generational dysfunction is to stop allowing the excuse of, “But it’s your family.” When do we stick by family because it’s family, and when do we have to decide on something better? Over the years I’ve come to a realization that loving families show up and it’s a safe place, not a place that makes you more miserable when you are around them.Knowing that unless THEY (your mom or family member) want to repent and change AND show that difference over time, you are not required to “hang in there”. That serves no purpose and you will never change the dynamic of your future life or family.Stand strong in this journey of breaking generational dysfunction. Remember you have a community here. If you haven’t joined “The Unmothered Community” our private group on Facebook is growing each day, and I have a lot of new plans for these amazing, strong women in the future. Just answer 3 questions and you are welcome to join us! Family is not just the people who gave birth to you, but people who show up and love well! Check out the book I mention: "But It’s Your Family…: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath" by Dr. Sherrie Campbell: https://bit.ly/3X387yj (this is a affiliate link)The movie mentioned is “Hillbilly Elegy” which is the true story of VP Candidate JD Vance.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

I had the pleasure to interview my good friend Christine Trimpe on the podcast today! She told her origin story of how this journey of being an author, speaker, and coach began.Her story starts with a mountain she wanted to climb but couldn’t because of her weight. From struggling with debilitating sleep patterns to a multitude of health issues, she knew something needed to change. When she started diving into her faith more not only did her weight improve but her emotional health did as well.Christine wants to help you call on your faith that will free you from the physical, emotional, and spiritual burdens you can no longer drag up whatever mountain you’re trying to climb. Her free guide is linked below and does ‘SugarFreed Me’ coaching. Check it out today!Connect with Christine:The “Crush Your Cravings Guide” gift: Crush Your Cravings: The Ultimate Wellness Guide for Christian WomenCheck out her program SugarFreed Me: https://christinetrimpe.com/weight-loss/Invite Christine to Speak: Christine Trimpe, SpeakerWebsite: www.christinetrimpe.comSocial media links:&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChristineTrimpeLLC&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachchristinetrimpe/&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Twitter: https://twitter.com/KetoChristineMI&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;YouTube: @ChristineTrimpe https://youtube.com/christinetrimpe&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/coachchristinetrimpe/&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christine-trimpe-07123299/Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/"

Can the things that were said to you as a child create a negative narrative as you become an adult?&nbsp;When I was watching the show Bridgerton on Netflix, the plot of the series stood out to me. The son had always held a narrative over his head because of actions or words that were said to him when he was younger. There is no need to have held a spot in your body and mind that has made you make decisions that could negatively impact your life.&nbsp;We need to be able to slush out information that no longer serves us and get to the truth of what is holding us back because of it. We can learn to have beautiful, raw conversations with honesty and love. Then we can change the generations so that our behaviors are better suited for the future. Our parents didn’t know better, or even if they did and they were being vindictive because of something, like a divorce, we can allow ourselves to question their motives and not deny ourselves the happiness we deserve!One last thing, in this episode I touch on the show Bridgerton on Netflix. I kept referring to ‘Colin’ as the son I was referring to, but it was really ‘Antony’ that this storyline was about, whoops!Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Over the past few years, I’ve been studying the different types of toxic moms. Imagine my surprise when I started studying about toxic parenting and realized my mom was emotionally immature AND narcissistic!&nbsp;I never knew what to expect from my mom from one day to the next. It was exhausting trying to figure it all out. It made so much sense, but also it hurt to see that her characteristics were so manipulative.&nbsp;As I look through each of these problems, I have a story to match each of them. I bet you do too. I pray you find a way to keep working through this and start making change worthy behaviors where you don’t get bogged down with your mom’s immature, toxic behavior.&nbsp;Know that immature parents have been raised by immature parents. This has to stop with you! You must be the chainbreaker in your family! God has given you this assignment, do it well and show the family you raise that those kinds of behaviors will NOT happen in your home.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that you can self-sabotage by letting your triggers control you.Let’s talk about the everyday life habits that may keep you stuck negatively. Are you allowing your scared feelings to control you and prevent you from becoming the confident, strong woman you are meant to be? How can we find some ways to slowly change our thinking patterns so we can start living life in a positive view?I’m all for recognizing when something feels “off”, but I’m also aware of people I meet that are so untrusting because of things that have happened in the past that they trust no one or nothing! I see people questioning every tiny thing that isn’t even relevant to what is actually going on and then they in turn never get to participate the way others do because of their fear and paranoia.&nbsp;The best thing to start with is the power of ‘The Pause’…take your time with your thoughts before you speak them out.&nbsp;Write out things you would like to start changing. It can be small or big. Don’t limit yourself. Ask God to show you what changes you need to make and let him guide you. Journaling and praying go hand in hand. Don’t skip this step! He has shown me so many times the direction I should go and I wrote it out in my journal.Don’t let your fear keep you in the same place this year. Start small and start deciding what you want to do.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How do we find the heart to heal those who have hurt us? We will explore what it means to forgive people who hurt you deeply. Do you need to forgive them? Should you? What does that look like? Let’s talk about this.I was asked in my private Facebook group of my Unmothered women, what to do when they are having a hard time wanting to heal a relationship with their mom and sometimes with their siblings. This can be a tricky, touchy subject. I want to be sure we are always doing something that will begin OUR OWN healing process and not focus on revenge or bitterness. Our healing depends on getting real about what the situation is and how we can work through it.&nbsp;Your own healing is THE most important part of the healing relationship. It doesn’t matter if they want to join you on this journey. Oftentimes they probably won’t. You must not stifle the progress you need to make in order to heal.&nbsp;The way they accept the process will tell you a lot about whether you should continue a conversation about this or not.Are you wanting the healing to make yourself feel better (comforted temporarily), or do you really want to change the relationship, when is it time to take a break or walk away in love?Always decide whether the thing you want is moving you towards your own healing process and God’s healing or if it is just a temporary fix.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

As I was channel surfing I stopped on The Bachelorette. I never watch this show anymore, but of course, I was curious! I swear God wanted me to hear this, Gabby Windey was on a date and they were talking about family.His parents had been married forever and loved each other fiercely. She started telling him about her fractured relationship with her mom! How when she graduated her mother wrote her off …she started to cry..it broke my heart. She excused herself and was crying to the producers. They asked her what “triggered” the reaction.If we look at the history of where your parents came from, chances are there has been a lot of dysfunction for many generations. It may have started with them, but it ends with you! You have the potential to end the cycle of dysfunction and unhappiness.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most women don’t even acknowledge that their mom is a narcissist or may be toxic.&nbsp;In order to start your healing journey, you have to NAME the pain that has been done to you in your childhood.&nbsp;And I want to note, I’m not giving out professional advice! Apart from being a certified coach, I am not a doctor or therapist, so please take this as my personal opinion and as my own personal experience in this matter.However, I have studied ways to recognize if your mom may be a narcissist:She has to have everything perfect and nothing is ever her fault.&nbsp;They will find fault in you over and over though.They don’t live in reality. They live in “their” world as they know it.&nbsp;They always minimize the experience.&nbsp;&nbsp;Many times we make excuses for our moms because it is too painful to admit they are flawed, or we feel like a bad daughter if we say something derogatory. This doesn’t help the situation and it won’t make it different by you ignoring it.The definition of madness is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result. Your mom is who she is, and you need to find out who you are and what you need and desire in this relationship.&nbsp;There is no reasoning with them, so just remember to not play along with their games.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Let’s dig into a deeper conversation about some signs and qualities that I’ve started to notice about people with narcissistic tendencies. A big question we must ask is, where it comes from (possibly) and what are some signs of things you yourself may be suffering from being around or living with a person who is narcissistic.Upon my reading and studying, I’ve come across a few signs that show your mother might be narcissistic.&nbsp;Explosive or extreme angerCompulsive or inhibited sexualityExtreme shame, guilt, or self-blame (which is a tactic to make you feel sorry for them)Sense of difference from others; i.e.; specialness, or feeling like no one else can understand them) We learn to survive at the expense of sacrificing our own needs. We become people who attempt to help control the environment, this is something I know well. And it is a job that is not yours to hold.The list goes on and on, but the one thing you have to remember is you may become disassociated with who you naturally are. You are taking on so many different personas it’s hard to know your own opinions or desires in life.&nbsp;So what to do with all this information?Having a strong faith will for me, always be the number one thing towards wholeness. It gives me purpose and meaning and most of all hope in life. I know that God has wasted nothing through my journey and to be able to move forward towards my goal of being a healthy person with God at the helm is comforting for me. He can give me strength and peace that humans can’t always give me.&nbsp;Taking the time to move through our past with therapy or someone safe to walk with you towards a more honest future. The things that have been done to you are not your fault, and it was hard, but you don’t have to stay there. Take your time to find a trustworthy person to partner with you.Here is an affiliate link to the book I mentioned: Understanding and Loving a Person with Depression: Biblical and Practical Wisdom to Build Empathy, Preserve Boundaries, and Show Compassion by Stephen Arterburn (Author), Brenda Hunter (Author): https://bit.ly/465Bgf6Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Hi peeps! We are taking July off and decided to re-publish our most downloaded episodes for you to listen to! We will be back in August with new episodes and don't forget to follow me over on Instagram to keep up.What was it like growing up in your home?&nbsp;In my home, I felt like I was constantly dealing with a teenager or even a child. While at the time I just thought this was ‘normal’ I later understood that it wasn’t. When you grow up with a parent who is emotionally immature and can’t be the adult in the family relationship it can feel like their needs are paramount to yours. They are physically there, but not mentally. There was no room for me to feel anything, and that is why I am so passionate about finding my voice even to this day.&nbsp;Our feelings count!&nbsp;We keep hoping it will get better. We make attachments where there shouldn’t be any. With her. With others. I figured out a lot of my need for recognition comes from this. However, just because you grew up this way, doesn’t mean you need to parent in the same way. Break off these generational patterns. Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Dr. Michelle Bengtson is an international speaker, a national and international media resource on mental health, and the bestselling, award-winning author of Hope Prevails, the Hope Prevails Bible Study, Today Is Going to Be a Good Day, Breaking Anxiety's Grip, and The Hem of His Garment. She is also the host of the award-winning podcast Your Hope-Filled Perspective. A board-certified clinical neuropsychologist in private practice for more than twenty years, Dr. Bengtson blogs regularly and offers a wide variety of resources on her website, DrMichelleB.com.&nbsp;https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson/https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/https://twitter.com/DrMBengtsonhttps://www.amazon.com/author/drmichellebengtsonDon't forget peeps, we are taking July off! We will be replaying the most downloaded episodes during that month and will have new episodes in August, enjoy the summer!Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

As we watch young adults graduate from high school and college, the question comes up again; does having a diploma make you smarter and more successful?&nbsp;Can you maneuver through the world without schooling? And can different types of education or life skills can help you thrive?I always have mixed feelings at this time of year. So many emotions have played into my skilled learning and how the education I have currently taken has made such a difference in my life. That, however, has not always been the case. Growing up with no parents caring if I even graduated from high school set me up for struggle.&nbsp;I think there is another side to this too. I see some parents putting ALL their time and energy into making sure they can have bragging rights on how smart their child is, only to see said child grow up and still not be able to handle the “real world”.&nbsp;&nbsp;All their achievements were to make their parents proud, and now they don’t know what they want to do or who they are.&nbsp;Be proud of your kids no matter what! It’s so exciting to see them start their life journey. Always let them know you are the safe place for them, encourage but don’t parent like they are 5 years old.&nbsp;They will come back to you and be so grateful that you believed in them!Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Given the passionate social media opinions about the Harrison Butker speech, I thought this would be a great conversation to have with you all, being that it is about motherhood.&nbsp;It’s the age-old debate: are we more fulfilled being a mother, or are our careers more important than staying at home? Let’s talk about the stay at home mom being the most rewarding job on earth (or so he said).Every woman has worth.&nbsp;Can we please stop saying one thing is more glorious than the other? We don’t know people’s stories or histories. Can we stop the shame? No one should feel guilty for their own journeys and choices. And the most important thing to remember is God is responsible for that journey.Our life is not a “one size fits all” kind of place. Get $20 off your Wildgrain membership via the referral link below: https://wildgrain.com/a/refer-a-friend/redeem/tttrtmnxffcuymvgtl2azfbopchmvrk6paccgadg/8487Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Just because we are strong doesn’t mean we are healed.&nbsp;Do people think you have it all together because they perceive you as strong?&nbsp;How many times have people told you how strong you are or how normal you seem after they know about your hard childhood? We aren’t as strong as you think. We have had to be strong to survive.&nbsp;There is a difference.When hard things happened to me over the years, I kept going. I survived. And in that time, I built up a wall of strength that people saw as brave.&nbsp;When we learn to regulate our emotions, we can let down our guard and not have to stand strong.&nbsp;Trust plays into this too.&nbsp;We are always a work in progress. Good for you for learning to survive through strength until now. Check out Wildgrain: Get $20 off your Wildgrain membership via the referral link below: https://wildgrain.com/a/refer-a-friend/redeem/tttrtmnxffcuymvgtl2azfbopchmvrk6paccgadg/8487Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Even in the best of families, we have a tendency to put our opinions or traumas onto our children.&nbsp;We have patterns of behavior that can be instilled in them and when they grow up, they might recognize it’s not healthy, or they might end up with the same traumas themselves. How do we break this pattern off?&nbsp;I realized that I had unconsciously done something wrong as I watched my daughter experience some unknown fear with great exaggeration and I immediately realized she had learned that awful behavior from me!&nbsp;Always remember that your children, little or grown up respect and love you. We are the ones that are doing something new for the generations so it is all new.&nbsp;We set the tone and standards.&nbsp;Do things that will set a peaceful pace for families that will last a long time.&nbsp;We are going to make mistakes, that’s human. What is different is the ability to ask for forgiveness when we have passed something on that needs to be broken from us….and them.Don't forget to check out Wildgrain!Get $20 off your Wildgrain membership via the referral link below: https://wildgrain.com/a/refer-a-friend/redeem/tttrtmnxffcuymvgtl2azfbopchmvrk6paccgadg/8487Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Mothering is one of the most important and confusing jobs you will ever have!I have been watching a few women on Instagram who are either new mothers or pregnant with their first child. Having raised my girls, I feel for these women, and at the same time I just want to hug them and let them know “there is no perfect way” and “you will make mistakes!” and it will all be okay.&nbsp;There are so many emotions that motherhood brings.&nbsp;Some days it feels like it’s all too much. Add on the feelings we have from the trauma we have grown up in, and it can be a total stress. Then add on the fact that we don’t have a mom to go to for advice, and it’s just sad and anxiety filled.Make room for time to ask yourself why you are feeling what you are feeling. Are you being triggered by past childhood things that are coming up now that you are a mom? Take the time to explore these feelings. Don’t ignore them. They are important and they are trying to tell you something. It will make you a more present mom.Surround yourself with helpful moms. Make sure they uplift, not drag you down. This is a good time to find moms who are a bit ahead of you in the motherhood game.Always ask God to guide you. Talk to him first thing in the morning. Ask for patience, clarity, hope, and calmness as the day begins. When those stressful moments hit, you will be able to remember that you do not always have to be in control, someone bigger than you is in control, He loves you.And if no one else has told you today; YOU ARE DOING GREAT MAMA! Keep doing the work…your kids will thank you someday…Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Lori Morrison is a committed advocate for strengthening physical, emotional, and spiritual safety in our churches. She's a former church staffer, and retired private investigator, as well as an author, podcaster, and speaker. She shares real stories at the intersection of faith and true crime to highlight actionable steps any of us can take in our faith communities.&nbsp;She hosts the popular podcast The Unlovely Truth, follow her along by clicking the links below:&nbsp;https://www.facebook.com/theUnlovelyTruthhttps://www.instagram.com/theunlovelytruthpodcast/https://www.linkedin.com/in/theunlovelytruth/My Amazon author pagehttps://theunlovelytruth.com/Contact her:[email protected] to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

When you’ve grown up in trauma and have normalized some behaviors, you miss what is known as “red flag” in others.I’m giving full credit of this episode to Nate Postlethwait. because he talked about this on one of his posts and it got me thinking. One of the things we as women tend to do when we have grown up in trauma, is we think we know people (or should I say men) and we get into relationships that the average person would see as “red flags” but we have learned to normalize this behavior.&nbsp;Over the years, I’ve learned to always help yourself first when coming out of a trauma filled family or relationship. It’s imperative that you are healthy first before you allow someone into your life.&nbsp;Also, never feel embarrassed if you have allowed someone to take advantage of you. We always think we can “fix” others because a lot of the time, we have had to do this in our childhoods. We have big hearts, there is nothing wrong with this, except to say, give your heart to the person who is worthy of it.&nbsp;This may be a good time to seek out therapy OR&nbsp; if you are ready to take a step forward and just need someone to come alongside you, this is where coaching can be a beautiful partnership!&nbsp;I love helping women find their stride in life. Having someone be your true cheerleader may be the only push you need to help you start growing more confident in thinking in a new way and knowing that God will help you out of any hard situation! We are hosting a giveaway! We are giving away one of these cute hats that say the name of my coaching program ‘Patience and Grace’ and my book “Unmothered” to one lucky winner!Here is what you need to do…✨ Leave a review for my podcast ‘The UnMothered Podcast’ on Apple Podcasts and take a screenshot of it before you press ‘submit’✨Send me the photo via DM or leave your IG handle on the review so we can get in touch with youThe giveaway starts Thursday, May 2nd, and goes until Friday, May 10th! The winner will be chosen and contacted on Monday, May 13th. DM me if you have any questions💕Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How do you define the black sheep in the family? Has this label been placed on you because you don’t abide by the dysfunction in your family? There is a difference between being the troublemaker or the truth-teller. If you are just trying to survive in a highly abusive family situation, you learn to fight and stand on your own.&nbsp;Do you always make the right decisions? Not always, but who does when they are young? When I think about how we get labeled as troubled or a hard child, I think we should look deeper into the family dynamics instead of automatically blaming the child.So what can we do if we are the one that has always been labeled in this way?As I’ve said before, journal out any thoughts or struggles you still may have regarding this issue. You might be surprised at how much stuff comes up. Remember, you are not what other people tell you; you are who God has said you are.&nbsp;He has a purpose and a plan for you, even if you have to walk through rough waters to get there. Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

I'm so excited to chat with Linda Goldfarb today on all things LINKED® Personality System! I became a LINKED® Personality Coach a couple of years ago, and I love this program.Whether sipping frothed coffee with friends, hiking with her hubby Sam, engaging in deep conversation with her children and grandchildren, or speaking truth with gentle boldness, Linda Goldfarb strives to be transparent and authentic.Linda is a multi-book, award-winning author, award-winning podcaster, international speaker, conference speaker, professional emcee, board-certified advanced Christian life coach, and co-founder of the LINKED® Personality System.Linda grew up in a military family, traveling frequently as the girl filler between bookend brothers. Her adventures living among numerous cultures gave Linda a diverse understanding of the world, which she considers an advantage as a servant-daughter of the King.Known as the kind of person who draws you in immediately, Linda’s voice makes you feel welcome, safe, and seen. When she shares her energy, experiences, and expertise, you lean in—not wanting to miss a single word.Linda and Sam are the proud parents of four adult children, numerous grandchildren, and one great-grandson. They live on the edge of the Texas Hill Country with their rescue pups, MeMe and DJ. Linda credits faith, humor, and personality awareness to growing their relationship into a thriving adventure lasting over 38 years.“My life is far from perfect, and that’s where Yeshua met me, loved me, and saved me. For Him, I’m eternally grateful.”Join Linda over at: https://www.lindagoldfarb.com/Shop her books on Amazon here: https://bit.ly/4d4h81aLooking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How can you keep your faith through impossible circumstances?I recently watched an award-winning movie and it got me thinking about how long I could keep my faith alive and trust that God could perform a miracle.&nbsp;I think of our circumstances in our time. We feel completely smothered in our pain or situation. Not being able to breathe or have hope. I coach some people who feel that way. We never know what our threshold is until we are in it.&nbsp; As I have walked through immense grief these last few months (and still am walking through it!) it seems as if I can’t do it anymore, but God gives me a strength I couldn’t possibly do on my own.&nbsp;Some tips when your life is feeling overwhelming:&nbsp;When things seem impossible, look for the possible. You might be surprised at how strong you can be.Can you depend on friends to support you? Some of that strength comes in the form of friends constantly reaching out and holding your broken or hopeless heart well. They won’t have all the answers, but they can walk beside you and hold you up.Don’t be afraid to pray for a miracle. Ultimately, it’s God’s will but He doesn’t mind us asking. We will accept the path He gives us, even if it’s not the way we want it. We don’t see what He sees and knows. Keep trusting.We have a choice to live fully alive and trust God loves us and wants the best for us, or we can feel defeated every day. The choice is how we live it out.&nbsp;I pray you pick the first choice. I know I will…always!Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Looking back through the chapters of my first book, 'Unmothered,' it surprised me how honest I was in writing it!I poured my heart into it so others could see the truth of my challenging story, and I prayed it would inspire them to be honest about their own experiences.I've come to realize that the purpose of this book is to permit others to never be ashamed of their difficult stories and to have faith that God will use it all for good. We are survivors with a purpose.Later this year, I plan to release my second book. It will accompany my memoir and feature the six life lessons from my one-on-one coaching program, Patience &amp; Grace.I hope this book will guide you in starting the journey to heal your childhood heart. Sign up for my newsletter to receive updates on the book!Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Sara Cormany is a wife, mom, and follower of Jesus. A former speech educator and a storyteller at heart, Sara has long had a passion for helping others tell their stories---be it as a teacher, an editor, a writing coach, or a project manager in the publishing industry. She is an award-winning author and speaker whose days are traced by the grace of a good God. Although chronic illness has been part of her life for over twenty years, Sara’s journey is proof that a hard story can still be a good story.&nbsp;Sara, her husband, and their four children live in Kansas City, Kansas. While she has contributed to multiple compilations and collaborative works, including the award-winning She Writes for Him: Stories of Living Hope. Even When is Sara’s first solo title.&nbsp;Join her on the journey at www.saracormany.comPurchase her book here (this is an affiliate link): https://bit.ly/3PCBfteLooking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

If you’ve never watched the popular Netflix show Love Is Blind then you won’t understand this episode as much, but bear with me. I will be deep-diving into a few people from this show and even if you’ve never seen it, you might get what I’m talking about.&nbsp;The premise of the show is can you go into a relationship blind, never seeing what the physical side of a person looks like, or can you just love their insides alone?My short answer is, I don’t think so. Love is so much more in depth than physician attraction, or talking behind a screen about deep things and thinking you can maneuver the real world. Your job, friends, family, faith, etc all of the parts that make you unique are blended into seeing if someone can get along with you.The moral of this story is to take care of yourself first before you can include anyone else to come and share your life. The baggage from our past, the beliefs we have put in our heads, none of it will make for a good relationship with a spouse if you don’t take the time to clean out your junk.&nbsp;Love is a beautiful thing, but is it blind? Let me know your opinion in the comments below!Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Do you ever think about what kind of impact you leave on people?Let's discuss how important your legacy is to people you come in contact with, relative or not. I have given so much thought to this as I have tried to manage the uncomfortable feelings of my brother’s suicide. The legacy he has left on his family, me, my children, his children and grandchildren. They have this tainted version of how he struggled in life and death.&nbsp;The good things he was are overridden by his last days.&nbsp;We have a responsibility to make a difference if we believe our life has purpose and meaning. We could even have the possibility of affecting strangers along the way who we can impact positively by our words or deeds.&nbsp;What you put into the world creates a pattern of what you leave with the world.&nbsp;Ask God to show you where you will need to improve on your attitude, habits, or hurts. If you have been carrying a lot of stuff that is stopping you from being the person you want to be, then today is the day to let it go. Be brave in what your legacy is.&nbsp;You will never know the difference you could make in leaving an impression or hope in someone’s life. Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

We know about our physical health, but how about the emotional side of our physical health? On today’s episode, I’m interviewing Rachael Morris. She is a certified holistic health coach as well as a certified nutrition and macro coach. She’s been health coaching clients for 10 years and has helped hundreds of women develop plans to help their chronic health issues and break past barriers that keep them stuck in their health and weight. She’s a mom of two amazing kids and 2 dogs as well as a wife to her husband Justin of 12 years and currently lives in Tomball, Texas.&nbsp;On April 1st, she is starting a new program and registration is now open! You can contact her on Instagram at @rachaelmorrishealth https://www.instagram.com/rachaelmorrishealth/Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Cherie Denna’s mission is to empower individuals to find a deep sense of belonging and belovedness in Jesus Christ in their everyday lives. She draws from her extensive experience in women's ministry, relapse prevention, prayer counseling, and recovery to inspire audiences to remove imposters from their lives.&nbsp;Her newly released debut book, Beloved Outcast: The Quest for True Belonging, is a must-read for those trapped in seemingly inescapable circumstances who desire a victorious life of freedom. Cherie’s platform reveals the realities of living on the fringes of society, enmeshed in organized crime and the outlaw biker culture, all while following God's call to spread the Gospel.&nbsp;She finds joy in witnessing the power of God's truth through freedom, deliverance, and healing. Cherie influences the world through writing, speaking, women's ministry, and guiding others in sharing their hard stories. She enjoys frequent sea-habilitation, frothed coffee, and exploring lighthouses with her husband.Purchase the book here (this is an affiliate link): https://bit.ly/49KRRXALooking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What kind of communicator are you with your kids? Are you a screamer or ignoring Mom?&nbsp;How you grew up can determine certain traits that may need to be broken within yourself, only if you recognize them.I was having a conversation a few days ago with another mom, and it occurred to me that when it comes to us moms and how we have been raised, one of the dysfunctions that can carry down through the generations is discipline.&nbsp;Give yourself grace. Rules change as your kids get older. Every day brings a new perspective and it can be confusing and exhausting. You are doing the best you can, and if you are putting in the work to search out new ideas and parenting skills you will be better with time.Being understanding and loving, especially during the heat of the moment will set the stage for your child feeling safe and wanting to do better with you. Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Do you trust the judgment of your children as adults? When we as moms can’t get out of our way to allow our adult children to live their own lives how can that impact our relationship with them?&nbsp;So many times I have sat in places at parties, family gatherings, and such where I overhear or have conversations with well-meaning mothers about their adult children. And too many times I hear them make excuses for why their opinion is right over their adult child’s. Even when their children are parents themselves, these moms can’t help themselves.But I have a question for you, do you have the ability to listen and NOT correct? Do you trust their ability to live on their own terms, even if you don’t fully agree or approve of it?You want to have honest, loving conversations and relationships with your adult children. The only way to do this is to let them make their own opinions and you shut down your expertise. It doesn’t mean you can’t ever have an opinion, it means you have to pause and think if this conversation needs to be had or if you can let it go.The goal is to be proud of the individual person they have become. To have awesome conversations without the “I’m the parent so I know best” attitude. You can have great conversations of honest talk, laughter, and holding of their stories where they feel safe telling you something hard without judgment.&nbsp;You can do this!Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Jacqueline Julia is a single mom of 2 young boys. Her first marriage ended in divorce and in a second marriage, she began to see signs of narcissistic abuse. She is currently separated and working through the healing process. This has led her to a new passion for helping to heal other women through their own struggles of trauma. She is receiving her education as a mental health coach. Follow and contact Jacqueline over on Instagram @jacquelinejulia https://www.instagram.com/ms.jacquelinejuliaThe books mentioned in the podcast, these links are affiliate links which means I will get a small kickback from the purchase at no extra cost to you.&nbsp;:&nbsp;The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist by Debbie Mirza: https://bit.ly/3w819yhBoundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life: https://bit.ly/3FqZjJMLooking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

If you grew up with a scarcity mentality, can you have a healthy relationship when money comes in?&nbsp;At the beginning of January, I did a fast with my church. I decided to take 3 weeks off from watching TV. When I came back to it, my daughter and I watched the new Netflix game show “The Trust”.&nbsp; I began to realize that most people who aren’t ready for big windfalls of money end up back in the same place of striving when they don’t know how to handle it.&nbsp;The girl in the show Julie resonated with me. I saw her greed and pain. She didn’t understand that money is not the “end all” of happiness. Over time she learned that lying and deceiving did her no good.&nbsp;You will never be happy with just money alone. It will make your life more comfortable in some ways, and bring problems in others. But, If you don’t respect money, you will never know how to handle it when that windfall comes in. You must always share your wealth. It is a gift. It is a blessing.If you are in a position where you already have money and don’t trust anyone, start questioning the “why” and find some help! Nothing is more sad than someone who has money and is miserable with their life.&nbsp;It’s time to place it in perspective.&nbsp;&nbsp;Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.