The Ralph Report

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Blow out the candles! It's THE RALPH REPORT's 8th BIRTHDAY! Plus, meet man who invented CONAN! The actor who inspired THE JOKER! And, the history of the MONEY SHOT!

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Happy New Year! We're BACK with tales from our holidays! We try a classic hot beverage from the 60's! And, how you can win the NEWEST airbrushed T-shirt from god-damned mother-f**king MYRTLE BEACH!

THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, November 3rd, 2025 On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Welcome to NOVEMBER! Our HALLOWEEN weekend recap! We revisit Ralph's connection with Christian Bale! What would you do with Olivia Newton John's CLOTHING?! And, Happy birthday, GODZILLA! Sign up to hear TRR every day! www.patreon.com/theralphreport

THE RALPH REPORT 1751 - Friday, October 31st, 2025 - MASTERED by Ralph Garman

THE RALPH REPORT 1728 - Monday, September 29th, 2025 by Ralph Garman

Here's a special moment from the past ... KASS doing "Fairytale of Hollywood", with our beloved Steve Ashton. (Download version)

THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, December 10th, 2024 On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Another classic holiday TV TUNES TUESDAY! More bizarre tales of Eddie's youth! And, the perfect gift for everyone on your list!

THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, November 19th, 2024 On today's THE RALPH REPORT: All aboard for today's TV TUNES TUESDAY! We get all wound up by today's TONGUE TWISTER! And, HAPPY 90th birthday to MONOPOLY! (I get to be the "race car"!)

THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, July 29th, 2024 On today’s THE RALPH REPORT: A literary MUNCHIN’ MONDAY! Eddie’s BIG WEEKEND! The top stories from COMIC-CON! And our (spoiler-free) reviews of DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

THE RALPH REPORT for Wednesday, July 17th, 2024 On today's THE RALPH REPORT: The origin of the "speakeasy"! Meet the "Dolly Parton of chimps"! The Garmy to the rescue AGAIN! And, "One-Hit Wonder" or "Martin Short character"?! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: We play STOP THE PIGEON! Ralph battles a WIZARD! We twist our tongues around some BUTCH BODIES! And, "Talk Like YODA Day", it is!

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: What are the TEN THINGS that make you "good in bed"? RIP to guitar legend, DUANE EDDY! And, meet the official mascot of THE RALPH REPORT! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: We take to the sea for TV TUNES TUESDAY! Meet the people Ralph hates! Meet the cookie Eddie thinks is too "grown up"! And, HAPPY NATIONAL GIN AND TONIC DAY! Cheers! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Ralph comes out of retirement and asks "Did anything interesting happen on yesterday's show?" We give TV TUNES TUESDAY lots of space! And, we celebrate NATIONAL PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY DAY! (Well, not Eddie.) Subscribe: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: We rock out on a new TV TUNES TUESDAY! Happy NATIONAL 3-D DAY! And, the newest scam ... Can AI let you talk to the DEAD?! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: We salute a princess on TV TUNES TUESDAY! Eddie has more DRUNK THOUGHTS! Who is "Carlos Fantastico"?! And, HAPPY NATIONAL CHEESE DOODLE DAY! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Ralph is BACK from the HIGH SEAS! We've got a yummy ONE-HIT WONDER WEDNESDAY! And, we salute GODZILLA'S DADDY! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Meet the TRASHIEST WOMAN EVER! Me and Mr. Pence present ONE-HIT WONDER WEDNESDAY! And, we remember the Filet O' Fish PIRATE! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: This episode is in the bag! Have no fear, KANYE is here! It's a TV TUNES TUESDAY full of love! And, we celebrate YODEL FOR YOUR NEIGHBORS DAY! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Another AWFUL Christmas song! Holiday TV TUNES and TONGUE TWISTERS! And, time to get building! It's NATIONAL GINGERBREAD HOUSE DAY! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: The best holiday TV TUNE in the galaxy! Your chance to win tickets to the SANTA'S SWINGIN' SACK show! And, our plans to finally become actual ninjas on INTERNATIONAL NINJA DAY! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Want a beer that tastes like your ONLY FANS crush?! We're gonna burn this motha down with today's ONE-HIT WONDER! And, Shatner SINGS again! Subscribe: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: The SAG-AFTRA strike is over! Is there such a thing as TOO MANY Ghostbusters?! And, do you LOVE you car?! No ... I mean REALLY love your car?! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Eddie teaches Ralph about REINCARNATION! Is POLYAMORY for you?! And, meet the WORLD'S WORST PERSON! Subscribe: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Hey, hey, hey! It's TV TUNES TUESDAY! Plus, today's the day to CLEAN OUT YOUR COMPUTER! (Yes, even those pics from that file.) And, hear the story of the WORLD'S GREATEST PRIVATE DETECTIVE*! (* of all those without arms.) SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: We present horrors worthy of FRIDAY THE 13TH! Including, a mysterious GARMY GAME SHOW! Terrifying movies from the VIDEO VAULT! And, the spine-chilling tale of "The Man Who Ate His Own FACE"! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Here's the story of TV TUNES TUESDAY! More chances to win BATMAN: MASK OF THE PHANTASM! It's a CITIZEN OF THE WEEK for the ages! And, we love you on LOVE NOTE DAY!

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Another creature in Australia that wants to KILL YOU! It's a TV TUNES TUESDAY party song! And, HAPPY TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY! Subscribe: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: We'd cross the desert for this ONE-HIT WONDER! The one place in America where NO ONE should live! And, has THE LOCH NESS MONSTER finally been found?! (Spoilers: No.) SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: A sweet and sour MUNCHIN' MONDAY! Who's giving away FREE DVDs?! And, how to STEAL THE MONA LISA! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: You might get lucky with the LAS VEGAS edition of THE GARMY GAME SHOW! Can we stop a family from LOSING THEIR HOME?! And, the TOP 5 most DANGEROUS DRIVING SONGS! Subcribe: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: SEX U. serves it up "ANIMAL STYLE"! Meet the folks who were BORN TO BE ALIVE! And, do we finally have the proof that UFOs are real?! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: The Garmy raises money to help the striking artists! The future of Ralph's Christmas song! We get zapped by today's TV TUNES TUESDAY! And, HAPPY NATIONAL CAVIAR DAY! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: A salute to WRITERS with movie picks from the VIDEO VAULT! The premiere of new remastered REVOLVER music! And, we revisit an old classic from the files of the Garmy Game Show ... "SDRAWKCAB"! Subscribe: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: We turn the world on with our TV TUNES TUESDAY! The stuff of Ralph's NIGHTMARES! And, a bloody battle in the "Ice Cream Beverage Wars": ICE CREAM SODA VS. MILKSHAKE! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: This TV TUNES TUESDAY is in the news! Do we really need a FORKLIFT holiday?! And, what little girl wants a HOBO doll?! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: RIP to The Iron Sheik! Why is it called "SPRING cleaning"?! And, meet the folks who get turned on by BALLOONS! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Today's ONE-HIT WONDER is in the right key! Prospector Larry has a pet MULE?! And, we remember when Bud Light was for REAL MEN by saluting a true American hero ... SPUDS MACKENZIE!

On today's #TheRalphReport: The GARMY GAME SHOW! Buddy Cop movies from the VIDEO VAULT! And, where in the WORLD do men sit down to PEE? SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's #TheRalphReport: Ralph's review of GUARDIANS Vol. 3! (Spoiler free.) Eddie gets too much for a good thing?! And, why do they call them CHOKEBERRIES?! We MUNCH them to find out! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's #TheRalphReport: The wait for ONE-HIT WONDER WEDNESDAY is finally over! What's the going rate for TOE SUCKING these days?! And, PRELL used to be a thing ... What happened to PRELL?! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's #TheRalphReport: We're caught in the middle of a ONE-HIT WONDER WEDNESDAY! Ralph is a WIZARD! And, an interview with comedian TAYLOR WILLIAMSON! (And, his dog, Baby Betty.) SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's #TheRalphReport: It's a mod, mod TV TUNES TUESDAY! Happy NATIONAL PINATA DAY! And, Stallone SINGS! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's #TheRalphReport: A treasure from SHOWBIZ HISTORY! A "blue ribbon" MUNCHIN' MONDAY! And, we're reunited and COVID-free! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's #TheRalphReport: We've got your ONE-HIT WONDER WEDNESDAY right here! To RAT or NOT to RAT ... that is the question! And, another chance to WIN #BatmanDoom on DIGITAL! SUBSCRIBE: WWW.PATREON.COM/THERALPHREPORT

On today's #TheRalphReport: A boozy blind taste-test for MUNCHIN' MONDAY! A shopping mall you're forbidden to whistle in! And, join us in sending all our love to STEVE ASHTON! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's #TheRalphReport : We look at last night's OSCARS telecast! Eddie battles an ARMY of THOUSANDS! And, our MUNCHIN' MONDAY taste-test of some of the newest PEEPS flavors! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's #TheRalphReport : The TEN baby names that are DYING OUT! Arnold goes TERMINATOR on bigots! And, we celebrate the legend of ZORRO!!! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's #TheRalphReport : Steve Ashton's UK UPDATE! The GARMY raises money to FIGHT MS! Remakes from the VIDEO VAULT! And, the GARMY GAME SHOW asks, "DO YOU KNOW YOUR BEARS?!" Subscribe: www.patreon.com/theralphreport

On today's #TheRalphReport : Steve Ashton's UK UPDATE! (Yes, it's ASH(ton) WEDNESDAY!) Eddie goes to WAR with a WHOLE COUNTRY! And, we've got an ANGELIC "One-Hit Wonder" for you! SUBSCRIBE: www.patreon.com/theralphreport