The Pretender

<p class="ql-align-justify">Jay shares his experience as a home school Dad and how one very difficult question from his son allowed him to appreciate God's love for humanity. Jay also shares the great response he gave to his son to the question – "Why do you still love me?".</p><p class="ql-align-justify"><strong style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">Resources & Links: </strong></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><br></p><ol><li class="ql-align-justify"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSY-6Ofz95I#:~:text=Homeschooling%20occurs%20when%20parents%20or%20guardians%20decide,of%20instruction%2C%20and%20the%20timing%20of%20lessons." rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">What is Homeschooling?</a></li><li class="ql-align-justify"><a href="https://aceschooloftomorrow.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">Accelerated Christian Education (ACE) Curriculum</a></li><li class="ql-align-justify"><a href="https://biblehub.com/romans/5-8.htm" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 204);">Romans 5:8</a><span style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);"> </span><span style="color: black;">"But God demonstrates his own love towards us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."</span></li></ol><p class="ql-align-justify"> </p><p class="ql-align-justify"><strong style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">Quotable</strong><span style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">: "</span>I suppose you are wondering what my answer or response to my son was when he asked me - <strong>"why do you still love me?"</strong> I responded - <strong>"Because I never stopped loving you!"</strong>- Jay</p><p class="ql-align-justify"><span style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);"> </span></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><span style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "</span><em style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">1000 Feet"</em></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><span style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);"> </span></p><p><strong style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">Note:</strong><span style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);"> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at </span><a href="mailto:[email protected]" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 204);">[email protected]</a></p>

<p class="ql-align-justify">Jay and his guest take the approach to discussing the different phases of life through the music we tend to play during the experience. We pick only the top 10 songs on the personal playlist and ask why those songs in that phase and share the lessons and different experiences that influenced that choice.</p><p class="ql-align-justify"> </p><p class="ql-align-justify"><strong>Resources & Links: </strong></p><p class="ql-align-justify"> </p><p class="ql-align-justify"><strong>Koko's Top 10 Playlist</strong></p><p>1. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=982PKhPsIHk" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Sweet Victory - Trip Lee</a></p><p>2. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjeeSc5WVAM" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Lucky Ones - Lecrae</a></p><p>3. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms1uqdX6wXY" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Start Over - Flame Feat. NF</a></p><p>4. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVHrkYBEgFM" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">God's Not done with you - Touren Wells</a></p><p>5. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPvbQYJNfdk" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">So many feelings - (Sho Baraka)</a></p><p>6. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nlJu6EcdUo" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Anything But Country - Andy Mineo</a></p><p>7. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPavY5p52Fo" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Trenches - Touren Wells</a></p><p>8. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aq2uhClXAk&list=RD8aq2uhClXAk&start_radio=1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">IDK - Trip Lee</a></p><p>9. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VIkQ_ntOnQ&list=RD1VIkQ_ntOnQ&start_radio=1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Beautiful Life 2 (Mine) - Trip Lee</a></p><p class="ql-align-justify">10. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmDxJrggie8&list=RDwmDxJrggie8&start_radio=1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Dance with My Father Luther Vandross</a></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><br></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><strong>Jay's Top 10 Playlist</strong></p><p>1. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=982PKhPsIHk" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Sweet Victory - Trip Lee</a></p><p>2. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCF15Bem360&list=RDwCF15Bem360&start_radio=1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Above All Else - Vicky Beeching</a></p><p>3. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N_Gpq6v8as&list=RD1N_Gpq6v8as&start_radio=1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">I See Gold - Ray Boltz</a></p><p>4. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yz9b0Hg31r0&list=RDyz9b0Hg31r0&start_radio=1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">He Won't Faile Me - KJ-52 feat. Zauntee</a></p><p>5. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aq2uhClXAk&list=RD8aq2uhClXAk&start_radio=1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">IDK - Trip Lee</a></p><p>6. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMtdbL7xSgA&list=RDCMtdbL7xSgA&start_radio=1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Pure - Kari Jobe</a></p><p>7. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dp4WC_YZAuw&list=RDDp4WC_YZAuw&start_radio=1&pp=ygUedGh5IHdpbGwgYmUgZG9uZSBoaWxsYXJ5IHNjb3R0oAcB" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Thy Will Be Done - Hillary Scott and the Scott Family</a></p><p>8. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN9J8eqKovY&list=RDiN9J8eqKovY&start_radio=1&pp=ygUid2hhdGV2ZXIgeW91J3JlIGRvaW5nIHNhbmN0dXMgcmVhbKAHAQ%3D%3D" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Whatever you're doing - Sanctus Real&

<p class="ql-align-justify">Jay shares his recent experience of losing his beloved dog <strong><em>Ginger. </em></strong>In doing so he explains how much saying goodbye to the dog was more about letting go of a part of his life that he hasn't shared and a reminder that death of man or beast will always be a sad consequence of the fall of man until God restores his own order of life.</p><p class="ql-align-justify"><br></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><strong style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">Resources & Links: </strong></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><a href="https://biblehub.com/ecclesiastes/3-18.htm" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 204);">From dust to dust - Ecclesiastes 3:18-21</a></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><br></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkJGhQANjZo" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Pet loss grief; the pain explained - Sarah Hoggan</a></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><span style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);"> </span></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><strong style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">Quotable</strong><span style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">: "</span><span style="color: black;">I realized I wasn't training my dog; I was training myself. I was learning that life can be messy, but you can still enjoy it, I was learning that you could fail many times at something, but it doesn't mean you are a failure" - Jay</span></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><span style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);"> </span></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><span style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "</span><em style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">1000 Feet"</em></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><span style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);"> </span></p><p class="ql-align-justify"><strong style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);">Note:</strong><span style="color: rgb(46, 46, 46);"> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at </span><a href="mailto:[email protected]" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(0, 102, 204);">[email protected]</a></p>

<p>Jay talks about healing from personal life events from both a physical, emotional and spiritual sense. During times of difficulty, tragedy, failure, illness or any valleys of life; it's often easy to get stuck into the weeds and thorns that life is. It's easier to give up than having to face the aftermath of an event, but ultimately , we must get there to heal. Jay also plays a guitar at the end of the episode!</p><p><br></p><p><strong>Resources: Songs Jay talked about</strong></p><p> </p><p><a href="https://youtu.be/iN9J8eqKovY" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Whatever you're doing - Sanctus Real</a></p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz9xKtRhpjc" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Broken vessels - Hil</a><a href="https://www.vox.com/ad/16772236/the-benefits-of-doodling" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">lsong</a></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong>Quotable</strong>: "Everyone has their own process; everyone has their own time but if we are to continue living in this life - healing must happen." -Jay</p><p> </p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<em>1000 Feet"</em></p><p> </p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at <a href="mailto:[email protected]" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">[email protected]</a></p>

<p>In this episode, Jay recounts a conversation he had with a late friend about suffering and draws perspective from it today.</p><p><strong><em>Dedicated to M.N.M. - Still sadly missed.</em></strong></p><p> <strong>Resources:</strong></p><p> <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%209&version=ESV" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The story of the man born blind</a></p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09a3A3iWB1s" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Afflicted Saint, to Christ draw near</a></p><p> <strong>Quotable</strong>: "…we shouldn't always claim to know or even explain the reason we suffer because frankly we don't know why certain things happen, but we should instead look to God for strength during these trials and challenges." - Jay</p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<em>1000 Feet"</em></p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at <a href="mailto:[email protected]" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">[email protected]</a></p>

<p>Jay recounts his love for basketball and the pain from it. He talks about why he is ready to quit – a true depiction of the impact the recent injury and process of recovery has had on him thus far. A little glimpse on some feelings that pain can bring out in all of us.</p><p> </p><p><strong>Resources:</strong></p><p><a href="https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/520477/jewish/The-Story-of-King-David-in-the-Bible.htm" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The story of King David in the Bible</a></p><p> </p><p><strong>Quotable</strong>: "I have counted the cost, I have embraced the pain for too long, but it has just been one sided, I have given everything to the game, but I feel like the game hasn't loved me back and I have nothing left to give to it anymore." - Jay</p><p> </p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<em>1000 Feet"</em></p><p> </p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at <a href="mailto:[email protected]" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">[email protected]</a></p>

<p>In November of 2016, Jay underwent a surgical procedure to repair his left Achilles tendon after it completely ruptured. He made full recovery in a record 6-7 months and went back to playing his beloved basketball.</p><p> </p><p>Well, seven full years later on the 16th of October 2023; Jay devastatingly went through the same procedure on his other leg. This experience agonizingly has brought so much shock and Jay speaks about it today.</p><p>  </p><p><strong>Resources:</strong></p><p><a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+8%3A35-39&version=ESV" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">What shall separate us from the love of God?</a></p><p><a href="https://utswmed.org/medblog/achilles-tendon-injuries-rehab/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Achilles tendon rupture</a></p><p> </p><p><strong>Quotable</strong>: "It wasn't a pretty conversation but in that moment for all of you in doubt- that very conversation I was having was my faith." - Jay</p><p> </p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<em>1000 Feet"</em></p><p> </p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at <a href="mailto:[email protected]" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">[email protected]</a></p>

<p>In this episode Jay pens a letter of apology to all the people in his life that he let down by choosing his own path. He gets a little personal in saying sorry for the unrealized potential that he left to pursue his own enterprise and how he is at peace with the fruits of that process 7 years later. Everyone of us needs a therapy session, Jay just thought his was saying sorry.</p><p> </p><p><strong>Resources:</strong></p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg1sT4ILG0w" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Am I Wrong (Song Jay referenced)</a></p><p> </p><p><strong>Quotable</strong>: "I have no regrets in my life, I have lived the life I would live over and over again; a life of complete and utter faith." - Jay</p><p> </p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<em>1000 Feet"</em></p><p> </p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at <a href="mailto:[email protected]" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">[email protected]</a></p>

<p>Jay talks to Joseph Kayaya about being yourself, living your life to the fullest, his love for running and we delve deep into his experience with dealing with the death of his Dad as well as mental health. We also get to enjoy more of his trademark daily doses as he shares them on the podcast. </p><p> </p><p><strong>Resources & Links</strong>:</p><p><a href="https://zm.linkedin.com/in/dr-joseph-kayaya-0663a298" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">JK</a></p><p><br></p><p><a href="https://web.facebook.com/DailyDoses21/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Daily Doses</a></p><p><br></p><p><a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/nora_mcinerny_we_don_t_move_on_from_grief_we_move_forward_with_it?language=en" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Ted Talk about grief (Nora McInerny)</a></p><p><br></p><p><a href="https://www.facebook.com/lusakafitnesssquad/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Lusaka Fitness Squad (premier running club)</a></p><p> </p><p><strong>Books mentioned:</strong></p><p><a href="https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Atomic habits</a></p><p><br></p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Money-Woman-African-financial/dp/B08SB8L7ST" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Smart Money Woman</a></p><p><br></p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Richest-Man-Babylon-George-Clason/dp/1505339111" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="background-color: white;">The Richest Man in Babylon</a></p><p><br></p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Habits-Changes-Change-Everything/dp/0358003326" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Tiny Habits</a></p><p><br></p><p><a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/become-unstoppable-yangeni-chendela/1142854854" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Become unstoppable</a></p><p><br></p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Distinctions-Between-Millionaires-Middle-Class/dp/0345500229" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The Top 10 Distinctions Between Millionaires and the Middle Class</a></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong>Quotable:</strong> "It's amazing how far a human body will go when you are clear with your goals" - JK </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<strong>1000 Feet</strong>" </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]</p>

<p>In this episode Jay talks about how life is taking him back to parts of his life that he left behind. He goes in circles talking about going back to old relationships including professional relationships even giving an analogy of puppies and dogs! Yes he was philosophical about this experience until he decided to finally get to the whole point of this episode - sharing how life has helped him reconnect with his own siblings and family through the death of his grandma!</p><p> </p><p><strong>Resources:</strong></p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrxFpcaNlCU" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Going back (Song Jay referenced)</a></p><p> </p><p><strong>Quotable</strong>: "You know what? I also appreciate living the experience of loving someone I don't always agree with or put it this way fighting with someone I love." - Jay</p><p> </p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<em>1000 Feet"</em></p><p> </p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at <a href="mailto:[email protected]" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">[email protected]</a></p>

<p>In this episode Jay talks about the challenges and 'weirdness' of adult friendship. He shares his experience being blacked out by a long-time close friend, how he came to terms with it and how he views friendship now.</p><p> </p><p><strong>Resources: about friendship</strong></p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/60614476" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Billy no-mates (Book Jay recommended)</a></p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/jan/23/men-friendship-banshees-of-inisherin-oscar-ireland" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Men, guard your friendships – heed the warning of the Banshees of Inisherin</a></p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jul/09/when-it-comes-to-banter-men-are-in-their-element-but-that-is-no-foundation-for-lasting-friendship" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">When it comes to banter, men are in their element. But that is no foundation for lasting friendship</a></p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/3mjP26tGlSxRlH5TSCZNgCK/how-i-realised-id-become-a-friendaholic" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">How I realised I'd become a friendaholic</a>)</p><p> </p><p><strong>Quotable</strong>: "A man <em>who has</em> friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend <em>who</em> sticks closer than a brother." -<a href="https://biblehub.com/proverbs/18-24.htm" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Proverbs 18v24</a></p><p> </p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<em>1000 Feet"</em></p><p> </p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at <a href="mailto:[email protected]" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">[email protected]</a></p>

<p>In this episode Jay reflects on his recent depression and health issues, as well as how he lost his creative ability and enthusiasm for writing. He talks about an interesting technique suggested by a friend to regain it all back. What technique was this, you might ask - Doodling!</p><p>Finally Jay shares his entire doodle list that included all the activities he did just to stay afloat.</p><p> </p><p><strong>Resources about the technique of Doodling:</strong></p><p> </p><p><a href="https://psychcentral.com/blog/life-goals/2017/09/doodling-benefits" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">What are doodles and their benefits?</a></p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.vox.com/ad/16772236/the-benefits-of-doodling" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Benefits of doodling</a></p><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.forbes.com/health/healthy-aging/doodling/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Doodle your way to better mental health</a></p><p> </p><p><a href="https://mindfulartstudio.com/art-journaling-for-healing-doodle-and-de-stress/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Art Journaling (doodle and de-stress</a>)</p><p> </p><p><strong>Quotable</strong>: "But what I figured out through this novel idea from my super friend - was more confounding: That throughout the process of my mental struggles and physical health I was doing the same thing - I was incoherently doing [different] things to try and get better." -Jay</p><p> </p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<em>1000 Feet"</em></p><p> </p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at <a href="mailto:[email protected]" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">[email protected]</a></p>

<p>Jay talks to his identical twin brother Ralf about the experience of leaving Africa to settle in Europe, his experience with the difficulty of childbearing and the the challenges of dealing with different cultures and mental health. They then share the secrets and stories of identical twins!</p><p><br></p><p><strong>Resources & Links:</strong></p><p><a href="Jay & Ralf's favorite courier" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">MacSpeedys (Jay & Ralf's 'sort of' favorite courier)</a></p><p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zion_Williamson" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Basketball player - Zion Williamson</a></p><p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lonzo_Ball" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Basketball player - Lonzo Ball</a></p><p><a href="https://www.kickscrew.com/collections/kobe-bryant" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Nike Kobe line (Jay & Ralph's favourite shoes)</a></p><p><a href="https://www.adidas.com.ph/dame-7-floral-shoes/FX7446.html" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Adidas Dame 7 floral (shoe Jay bought)</a></p><p><a href="https://www.decathlon.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Decathlon (Jay & Ralf's favorite store)</a></p><p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rome" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Rome, Italy</a></p><p><a href="https://www.werunrome.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">We Run Rome (Annu</a><a href="https://www.werunrome.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">al 10k run in Rome)</a></p><p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panettone" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Panettone (traditional Italian Christmas bread)</a></p><p><a href="https://www.hamburg.com/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamburg" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Hamburg, Germany</a></p><p><a href="https://www.gisreportsonline.com/r/eu-migration-crisis/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Europe's Migrant crisis</a></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Quotable:</strong> "Your relationship and marriage cannot be defined by having or not having a child....We let go [of the fact that we were struggling to conceive] and we immersed in each other." - Ralf </p><p><br></p><p>"What's the point of having a child if your marriage relationship and the fundamentals of your home are broken?....invest in your relationship" - Ralf</p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Show notes: </strong></p><p>3:17 - Shoes & basketball</p><p>20.15 - Moving to Europe and the challenges of dealing with racism</p><p>58.13 - Ralf's story about his difficulties in child bearing</p><p>1:10:27 - his take on mental health</p><p>1:35:16 - The secret life of twins</p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<strong>1000 Feet</strong>" </p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]</p>

<p>In this episode Jay reflects on his recent unplanned hiatus and life as he shares his strange illness, tragic death of a friend and gratitude through it all. Safe to say he is back!</p><p><br></p><p><strong>Resources:</strong></p><p><br></p><p><a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Corinthians%2012&version=NIV" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Thorn in the flesh</a></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Quotable</strong>: "<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." -Paul the Apostle (II Corinthians 12:10</span></p><p> </p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<em>1000 Feet"</em></p><p> </p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at <a href="mailto:[email protected]" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="color: black;">[email protected]</a></p>

<p>Jay talks to Alice-Mulo about her art, advocacy work in mental health and about her adult therapy coloring book (Free your mind, free yourself) - a first in Zambia.</p><p><br></p><p><strong>Resources & Links:</strong></p><p><a href="http://iamwithoutaface.org/artists/alice-mulo/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Alice-Mulo</a> </p><p><a href="http://iamwithoutaface.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">'Free your mind free yourself' adult therapy coloring book</a> </p><p><a href="https://www.facebook.com/fortitudeartsgallery/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Fortitude gallery</a></p><p><a href="http://iamwithoutaface.org/exhibition/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Alice's work exhibitions</a></p><p><a href="https://osisa.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">OSISA</a></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Alice's social media handle:</strong></p><p><a href="https://www.facebook.com/fortitudeartsgallery/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Facebook</a></p><p><a href="https://twitter.com/alicemulo_f?lang=en" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Twitter</a></p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/alicemulo/?hl=en" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Instagram</a></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Quotable:</strong> "No matter how hard it gets, show up for your dream every time." - Alice-Mulo </p><p><br></p><p><strong>Show notes: </strong></p><p><br></p><p>7:29 - I am without a face project</p><p><br></p><p>14:46 - Adult art therapy coloring book book (Free your mind Free yourself)</p><p><br></p><p>42:52 - her own struggle with mental health</p><p> </p><p>59:55 - Business, entrepreneurship and Fortitude Gallery</p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<strong>1000 Feet</strong>" </p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]</p>

<p>Jay continues the conversation with Tabo about her journey of life; they talk about how she copes with life's various challenges, they talk about her career and the power of a woman as a home maker and she also shares her experiences in starting a business and much more</p><p><br></p><p><strong>Resources & Links:</strong></p><p><br></p><p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solwezi" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Solwezi, NW, Zambia</a></p><p><a href="https://www.discoverpermaculture.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Permaculture, Geoff Lawton</a></p><p><a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31:10-31&version=KJV" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Virtuous Woman (Proverbs 31:10-31)</a></p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/green_pole_farm/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">GreenPole Farm</a></p><p><a href="https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/know-your-strength-for-more-success-are-you-a-connector-a-maven-or-a-salesman.html" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Connector</a></p><p><a href="https://www.facebook.com/redvelvetcakesandmore/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Red Velvet cakes and more</a></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Quotable:</strong> "Submission is not a weakness, submission is an honor" - Tabo </p><p><br></p><p><strong>Show notes: </strong></p><p><br></p><p>Mental Health (2:19)</p><p><br></p><p>Homemakers and the life of a career woman (8:20)</p><p><br></p><p>Entrepreneurship (24:08)</p><p><br></p><p>Green Pole Farm (37:00)</p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<strong>1000 Feet</strong>" </p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]</p>

<p>Jay talks to Tabo about her journey of life; the challenges she has faced as woman in her aviation career, her time living in Western Australia, returning home to Africa and the challenges that presented for her family. She also shares her experiences in starting a business and much more</p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Resources & Links:</strong></p><p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solwezi" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Solwezi, NW, Zambia</a></p><p><a href="https://www.zambiatourism.com/towns/livingstone/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Livingstone, Zambia</a></p><p><a href="https://www.zambiatourism.com/towns/lusaka/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Lusaka, Zambia</a></p><p><a href="https://pch.health.wa.gov.au/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Princess Margaret Children's Hospital</a></p><p>Shenton Park Hospital</p><p><br></p><p><strong>Quotable:</strong> "You've gotta push in life until you get what you gotta get" - Tabo </p><p><br></p><p><strong>Show notes: </strong></p><p><br></p><p>Life & love in Australia (7:30)</p><p><br></p><p>Coming back home to Africa (20:27)</p><p><br></p><p>Victims (41:30)</p><p><br></p><p>Mental Health (1:01:26)</p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<strong>1000 Feet</strong>" </p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]</p>

<p>Jay talks to Mrs. Pretender herself, his wife Serah about how she has walked with him through this journey and she airs out how she has borne the brunt of the pain as well as what helped them hold it together in their most difficult times..</p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Resources & Links:</strong></p><p><br></p><p><a href="https://www.aceministries.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">School of Tomorrow Homeschool curriculum</a></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Quotable:</strong> "I think As a parent if you decide to have a child, it's your responsibility to make sure that your child is brought up well" - Serah </p><p><br></p><p><strong>Show notes: </strong></p><p><br></p><p>Ryan and the story that changed our lives forever(9:47)</p><p><br></p><p>The effect of quitting his job on her (21:08)</p><p><br></p><p>Mental health (40:51)</p><p><br></p><p>Home education (56:40)</p><p><br></p><p>I got a life too (1:05:50)</p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "<strong>1000 Feet</strong>" </p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Note:</strong> I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]</p>

<p>The Pretender podcast is back for a new season. Here's a Preview of what's to come in season 2.</p>

<p>In this excerpt from episode 16, Jonathan talks about how at one point in his journey he was really down and fighting for survival, how he almost gave up. Then he also challenges believers and Christians to come in the open and be real with their struggles..</p><p> </p><p>Listen to the full episode <a href="https://afripods.africa/episode/the-real-life-journey-of-jonatha/1c101820-5827-4e5b-b2ed-3092f5d9143f" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled 1000 Feet</p><p> </p><p>Note: I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]</p>