The Porn Addict's Wife

It's now 2023. So let's talk about resolutions. Trust me. It won't be what you think.

What are you making room for? Too often we feel that we are emotionally at our wits end, and we are full of negative emotion that we've been carrying around for our entire lives. This is called emotional baggage. Sometimes we do this subconsciously, unaware that we are even doing this. And sometimes, we want it because it's familiar and we are afraid of what our lives would look like if we let it go.

We often think that it's only possible to feel peace once we have gotten rid of the adversity. But today I am going to talk about how to feel peace IN adversity. I am going through a few tips to help you reframe the way you experience adversity and give you personal examples to help you apply it. I love you all! Merry Christmas! Don't forget to come join me this week for a free coaching! Sign up here and join me daily from Monday-Thursday at 2pm est!

We often think that the emotion that we are unwilling to feel, the emotion that we are suppressing isn't affecting anyone but ourselves. And that's a lie. Today I want to introduce you to a concept I call the Ripple Effect. I want to invite you to come join me for a week of free coaching! This is my Merry Christmas gift to you and the last time I am doing this event for free! Sign up for Coach Week today through my website and come join us!

Today Rob joined me on the podcast to talk about what it's like when you are in the thick of it. We share about an experience we have had over the last few weeks and tips that have helped us work through it individually and as a couple. The truth is, you have to go through the suck to come out on the other side and have the relationship you want to have. We are going to show you how. Come join me for Coach Week! Join me for a week of free coaching and get all your questions answered! Sign up today through my website!

Sometimes we need to mourn. Sometimes we need to allow ourselves to process grief. But grief and despair are two different things and in this episode I am going to talk about what those differences are and when it's important to allow grief to be processed.

Sometimes we have sneaky thoughts. Thoughts that sound really nice and pretty. Thoughts that seem like they're positive. But they're not. Today I am going to teach you how to recognize these thoughts, why it's important to see them, and go through examples of them so you can begin to see them in your own mind.

With the holidays coming up, I wanted to help you with a few thoughts on how to get through them. Join me today as I give you a few tips and help you apply concepts you've already learned in how to interact with you family to hopefully make it the best holiday season yet! Ready to start taking everything you are learning on the podcast to the next level? If so, then now is the best time to join my coaching program! Not only will you get individual coaching from me, you will also get access to my online course. In this course you will have access to all my videos to help you take what you are learning on the podcast and start learning how to apply it. See all the details here and sign up today!

Have you ever thought that you are back at square one? Or maybe that you should be farther along in your healing than you are? Or perhaps you have thought that the pain you are feeling is so much worse because of how long your husband has been hurting you? Today, that's what I'm going to talk about. I'm going to discuss the way we think about timelines and why it's important to start letting that all go. Don't forget to take advantage of the amazing coaching program price before it goes up on November 15! Get all the details and sign up today!

Do you trust yourself to make good decisions? What actually makes a decision good? Today I am going to talk about self trust and why it's so important to understand-especially when you are struggling with trusting someone else. If you want to learn how to apply this concept in a deeper way, go check out my How To Trust Master Class and get access to all my teaching and coachign on trusting your husband and trusting yourself. Ready to take what you are learning on the podcast to the next level? Come join my coaching program! You get lifetime access to all my coaching calls and content and you get to join the most incredible group of women! Prices go up on November 15 so join today!

Oftentimes, we aren't even aware that we are feeling distrust because it is masquerading as anxiety. These two emotions are very similar and today I am going to talk about what these emotions feel like, why we feel them, and why it's so important to differentiate between the two (and how to do it!). If you are struggling with trusting your husband, come join me for my "How To Trust" Master Class! I will teach you what trust is (and isn't!), the roadblocks we have to trust, how to start trusting your husband again, and the secret to trusting that we often forget! Get all the details here and sign up today! If you've been thinking of joining my coaching program, now is the best time! Prices are going up on November 15 so sign up online today before they do!

Today I am sharing an advanced concept that I taught this last week at my Go Forward Retreat in Nashville. I am going to teach you about what transactional and transformational relationships are, what the difference is, and why it's so important and powerful to shift into transformational relationships-especially with yourself! If you are struggling with trusting your husband, I want to invite you to join my How To Trust Master Class next week! From October 24-27 I am going to teach you what trust really is, the lies we believe about trust, and how to put yourself back in control of the trust in your relationship (rather than leaving it at the mercy of his actions). Sign up here today!

Worry feels really important. Our brains think that worrying about something means that we care about it. But what if that's not true? Today I am going to dive into why we worry, why it isn't useful, and how to stop yourself from worrying! Do you struggle to trust your husband? Do you want to trust him but find that you just don't and you're not sure why? Are you tired of trusting him only to have him do something that completely changes your feelings about him all over again? If this is the case for you, I want to invite you to come to my "How To Trust" Master Class. From October 24-27 I am going to teach you all about how to solve the trust issue in your marriage and put trust back in your control. Get all the details and sign up here today!

Do you ever feel like you are alone in whatever you are struggling with? Maybe it's your husband's pornography addiction but maybe it's your weight or your self improvement or maybe it's you wanting to start your own business or go back to school...there are so many things that we struggle with that we feel alone about. And today, I am going to talk to you about the importance of teaching your brain that you are not alone and the most powerful way to make that happen.

Did you know you're not your body or your thoughts? I know. It seems a little weird. But you are actually your soul. And just as your body and your mind need nourishment and attention, your soul does too. In fact, it requires even more of it. And yet we tend to ignore it. Today I'm going to discuss why it's important to take care of your soul, what your soul truly is, and offer a challenge to begin changing your life. If your soul is ready to go to Nashville and change your life, reserve your spot today! There are just a few spots left and we are going to begin a transformation into who you want to be in just 3 short days. I can't wait to see you there! Ready to start moving forward but aren't totally feeling the Nashville retreat? No worries! You can join my coaching program right away and begin by diving into the online course that I've created that teaches you exactly HOW to begin applying the material from the podcast so that you can begin moving forward today. Sign up today!

Do you ever think that you never would've chosen this? That, had you known about his pornography problem before you got married that you never would've said yes? If you have ever had those kinds of thoughts before, you are not alone. This is super common and something I want to address today! If you want to coach with me one on one, come join me in Nashville. I am hosting an in person exclusive coaching experience and I want to invite you to come. Spots are limited and will sell out so get your spot reserved today.

Do you find yourself worrying that something that happened before will happen again? Today I'm going to talk about why this happens, and why it's important not to do it anymore! Let's go! Come join me in Nashville! If you are ready to apply what you are learning on the podcast and want one on one help doing it, I want to invite you to come to my first ever LIVE event. Grab your best friend and come spend 3 days with me in Nashville, TN. I am going to teach you how to break through the things that are blocking you so you can propel forward into who you want to be. Click here for full details and to register!

Today my book launches! It is called "The Not-Enough Wife-Why We Look Outside Ourselves And How To Stop". And it's really good. Today I am going to talk about what inspired me to write the book, a little bit of the journey I had in writing it, and what each chapter is about. I would love your support by heading to Amazon and purchasing it and writing a review to let me know what you think! I love you ladies! This is for you!

Do you worry about your husband relapsing if he's alone? Yeah. Most of us have. This one is for you. I am going to break down why our brain is so worried about this, why it's not helpful, and how to work through it when it happens to you. Don't forget to sign up for FREE COACHING! Come join me this week for a week of free coaching calls! Register here today and get help applying everything you are learning on the podcast! Ready to take all of this to the next level? Come to Nashville! I am hosting an intimate, in person retreat in Nashville, TN from October 13-16 and I want you to come. This is your chance to get the personal attention you want from me plus make incredible new friends in one of the most fun cities! Get all the details and sign up here! Hurry! Spots are going to sell out!

We try to manage other people's emotions a lot. And it sounds really nice. Like, "I just don't want to add to his stress" or "I don't want to make her feel anxious". Today I'm talking about why this doesn't work, why we want to do it, and why it's important to stop. Don't forget to register for Coach Week! It's a week of free coaching with me and it starts next week!

Think about that thing you want to do but haven't done yet. That's what we are talking about today. Buckle up, ladies, this is a tough love episode about why you don't have the life you want or why you aren't doing the things you want to do-spoiler alert-It's not the reasons you think! Today I am diving into both making decisions and taking action, why it's crucial to do both, what not doing both looks like, and what's standing in the way of doing both. I'm sharing some of my personal examples and how I applied what I've learned about thoughts and emotions to move me forward. Come with me! Don't forget to register for Coach Week! This is a week of free coaching I am hosting via Zoom from September 6-9 and I want you to come! Sign up for free today! If you're ready to take everything you're learning on the podcast and take it to a whole nother level, come join me in Nashville. I am hosting an in person, intimate, 3 day retreat in Nashville TN from October 13-16 and I want you to come join me. We are going to take everything you've been learning and go deeper. You'll get coaching, classes, and one on one attention from me in a way that I've never offered before. Spots are limited so sign up today! Details and registration available here.

I know many of us feel this way. We want to open up to someone about our husband's pornography use but it's not our secret to tell, right? Well, maybe not. Today I'm going to address this concern and offer some thoughts that I hope will help you decide to open up and do so in a way that works for both you and your spouse. Ladies, come join me for Coach Week! September 6-9 @ 3pm est! I will be hosting live coaching calls each day in celebration of my book being released on September 6! Sign up for FREE by clicking here! Come join me in Nashville! I am hosting a live retreat in Nashville from October 13-16 and I want you to come! The intimacy of this experience wille enable you to get one on one attention and coaching from me all while joining the most incredible group of women who are ready to welcome you! Click here for sign up details!

Today I am giving ya'll a sneak peek of my book that is coming out September 6! The book is titled The Not Enough Wife (Why We Look Outside Ourselves And How To Stop). This book is for any woman who has felt like she isn't enough. Not skinny enough, sexy enough, smart enough, gracrious enough...the list goes on and on. In this book, I am going to teach you why so many of us believe this about ourselves, why it's so important to change it, and how to start changing it right away. Women spend so much time fearing, stressing that they're not enough. And I'm going to teach you exactly how to change that once and for all. Head to my website today to sign up for my email list to be the first to know book release details AND to sign up for my FREE Book Launch Coach Week from September 6-9!

Our brain often wants someone to blame. And it often doesn't want to blame him. As crazy as that sounds. Today I'm going over who our brain often wants to blame ( In laws, our past self, his past self) , why it happens, and why it isn't helpful.

Most of us try to avoid confrontation. Our brains don't like it because of the emotion it brings up. But, sometimes, confrontation is exactly what we need. Otherwise, we stay in conflict. Today I am going to explain what this looks like when we are in conflict with another person as well as when we have internal conflict, why it's important to confront, and how to do so. Are you coming to Nashville?! Come join me and 14 other amazing women for this incredible, in person coaching experience. We are going to break through the mental barriers that are keeping you stuck where you are and push past into who you want to become. If you are ready to find out who YOU are again (not just who you are in relation to your husband's pornography use), this is the event for you! Click here to find the details and reserve your spot!

Learning how to think of your spouse with compassion is one of the greatest tools that you can learn to help you start improving your communication and the way you think about him and his pornography use. Today I am going to talk about why it's so important, a common mistake that many make when starting to transition to compassion, the biggest mental barriers to getting there, and more. Come join me! Ladies! Come join me in Nashville! I am hosting a girl's weekend getaway in Nashville, TN from October 13-16! This is an intimate gathering designed to get you the one on one attention you've been craving as well as the support from like minded women! This is an experience you won't want to miss! Get all the details and sign up here! Hurry! Spots are going fast!

A very special bonus episode with all of the details you need about the upcoming retreat I am hosting in Nashville TN in October! If you are thinking about joining, listen in! And then sign up right away because there are only 15 spots total and they are going to sell out! I can't wait to see you there! Click here for full event details and to sign up!

Do you ever feel emotionally depleted? Like you have nothing left in your emotional reserves? How does that happen? How do we prevent it from happening? What do we do when it happens? That is what this episode is all about. I'm going to explain what your emotional energy baseline is, how to raise it, and why it's so important to be aware of. Join me for my first ever IN PERSON retreat in Nashville, TN! This is an intimate experience designed to help you uncover the things that are keeping you stuck as the porn addict's wife and help you break through them so that you can start becoming the woman you want to be. Spots are limited so sign up today!

What is a trigger? What is going on in our brains when a trigger happens? And how do we change it!? That is what this episode is all about! Buckle up ladies, because this is a good one! (Spoiler alert-things outside of you can't create your feelings).

Ladies, join me today on a very special episode. This weekend, I am processing emotion and I am taking you along with me. I am sharing an experience I had this weekend and how it brought up some emotion from over 10 years ago and how I dealt with it alone and with my husband. This is a vulnerable episode that I hope you learn from.

Today I am going to bring together what we talked about last week and discuss what that looks like in relationships. How do we emotionally invest in a relationship when the other person seems to not be doing any work on their end? I'm going over the biggest lie that our brain believes about this and sharing why it's so important to recognize. Don't forget to sign up for my email list to be the first to know when tickets go live for our Nashville retreat in October! I can't wait to see ya'll there!

There are two kinds of emotional investment-one that will produce the results that you want (a better marriage, a goal weight, a dream job) and one that won't. Today I am breaking down what emotional investment is, the two main types and the patterns they create, and why it's so important in order to achieve those goals you want.

What thoughts do you have about your husband? And how is that affecting your relationship? Today I am giving a few examples from clients about negative (and positive) thoughts we often have about our husbands that prevent us from moving forward.

So many of us struggle with making decisions. And it's all because of what we are thinking. Today I am breaking down how to make decisions in 4 simple steps and what our brain often does in those steps to make making decisions so difficult! Whether it's deciding what to wear or where to send your kids to school or even to stay married, this is a simple formula you can follow to make any decision in your life.

Do you struggle making decisions? Do you want to make a decision but feel like you "can't" or "don't know what to choose"? Today I am breaking down what indecision really is, the problems with it, why it's so appealing, and offering a small tip to help you start changing.

What do we do when we want two seemingly opposite things? Especially when we can't decide which one is "better"? How do we choose? How do we look at that? Today I am going to dive into what this looks like, how our brain likes to make decisions and what to do when you want to opposite things. (If you are struggling with trust, this is for you!) Come join my FREE Trust Workshop! May 23-25 @ 1pm est! Sign up here for free and join us!

If your husband is struggling with depression (as so often goes hand in hand with addictive behavior), it can be super tough to know what to do. Do you recommend therapy? Is it ok to talk to him about it? Am I supposed to leave him alone? Our desire to help and our desire to not make anything worse often lead to an internal conflict that leaves us feeling hopeless and frustrated. Today Rob and I talk about what to do and not to do based on our 10+ years of marriage and working through his depression. Please pass this episode along to anyone who may be in a similar situation so they can find something helpful for them! Don't forget to sign up for my FREE Trust Workshop! May 23-25 @ 1pm est! Register here today!

Sometimes when we go through something traumatic, we forget to allow ourselves NOT to think about it. In fact, our brain thinks it is super important for us to constantly have it on our minds. But this often leads to anxiety and hyper-focus that creates emotional overwhelm and exhaustion. Today I'm going to talk about why this happens and why it's important to let it go. Sign up for my FREE Trust Workshop! May 23-25 @1pm est via Zoom. Click here to register today!

The thoughts we think about ourselves, our relationships, our fears and emotions...all of those create our story. And the story we tell ourself about our life creates our security blanket. It makes us feel warm and safe. But it also prevents us from going forward. Today I'm going to dive into this with specific examples and explain why becoming aware of your security blanket is so important to growth.

When our brain thinks there is a problem, it often chooses one of these 3 mindsets in order to handle it. Today I am going to dive into what each of these 3 mindsets are, the problem with the first 2, and why it is so important to get to acceptance. This is a deep episode that you will not want to skip! Let's go!

Let's Celebrate! This is the podcast's 100th weekly episode and I am so excited about it! Today I am going to share with you how I started and what that looked like to where we are now and the lessons I've learned along the way. I am so excited for everything that is in store and I am so grateful to all of YOU for making this happen!

You know when you reach your breaking point? And you think, "How did I get here?" Today I am going to give you the secret to preventing this from happening-no matter the circumstance. I'm going to dive into what emotional overwhelm is, the secret to preventing it, and tell you why this is so important in your life! If you want help applying what I teach in this episode, come join my coaching program! Not only do you get one on one coaching from me, you also get to join an incredible group of women so that you know you are not alone. Come join us today!

Have you ever thought, "Life's not fair"? Or "It's not fair that he has this pornography addiction and I'm the one dealing with the emotional fallout of it"? Most of you have. And that's ok. But I want to show you today how that is not a useful way of thinking...and it's using the word "fair" incorrectly. This is a tough love episode today ladies that, if you listen and apply it, will completely change your entire mentality! Come join me in coaching! Prices are going up on April 1 so now is the perfect time to join! Click here to sign up today for liftime access!

What is forgiveness? What does it look like? How do we do it? Why don't we do it? What prevents us from forgiving? Today I am going to dive into this and let you know exactly how to do it and what to do! This is not one to skip! Follow me on IG @jolenewinncoaching Click here to join my lifetime coaching program before the price goes up on April 1! Click here to schedule a free consultation call to secure your spot in the men's group starting April 14!

Today Rob joined me on the podcast to talk about the men's group that is beginning on April 14! In this episode we go over why we are starting it and what makes this program so incredible for those who are struggling with a pornography addiction. If you are ready to uncover the source of your pornography addiction and eliminate it for good, simply click here to join the group! Want to know a little bit more about what the approach is for this group? Great! Simply click here to join the free webinar we are hosting next Thursday, March 24 @1pm est: How To Overcome A Pornography Addiction.

Did you know that healing can happen without feeling like you're running on a hamster wheel? That it can even be done with ease? I'm not saying it'll be EASY, but there are things you can do that will certainly make your healing journey filled with more EASE and less mental exhaustion. Today I am going through a few that you can immediately start implementing in order to make your healing process erase all the mental anxiety and drama! If you've been thinking about joining my coaching program, there is no better time than right now! My introductory program price is going up beginning April 1 so click here to join today!

I LOVE hearing other couples who are working through pornography addiction and I am so excited to bring you Chandler and Jade's story! Chandler is the mastermind and owner of an accountability app for porn addicts called RELAY and he and his wife were gracious enough to come on the podcast and share their story. Give this young couple a listen because they have some powerful shifts in mindset that are incredible! Be sure to go follow them on IG @joinrelay! Our very first men's coaching group is NOW ENROLLING! It will begin on April 14 and will run for 4 months so if your husband is ready to overcome his pornography addiction once and for all, sign up today! Have him click here to sign up for a free consultation call and we will get his spot saved! Hurry! There are only 7 spots left! If you have been thinking of joining my coaching program, there's never been a better time! The Lifetime Program introductory price is ending soon and prices will be going up on April 1! Join today by clicking here and signign up for lifetime access!

Do you know the difference between being betrayed and feeling betrayed? Today we are going to talk about it and go into why it is so crucial to know the difference! If you are ready to take what you are learning on the podcast and apply it so that you finally move forward, I want to invite you to come join my coaching program. This is where you take WHAT you are learning on the podcast and start understading HOW to apply it in order to move forward. Simply click here to join today for lifetime access!

I had the privilege of talking with Kristen Jenson, the author of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures and the owner of Defend Young Minds. She and I discussed how to talk to kids about pornography, how she got started in her business, how she wrote these books, and all the resources she has for you as parents! I am so grateful to her for the work she does and her willingness to sit down and share her wisdom with me! I know it will help all of you who have kids so listen in and go follow her through the links below! Her IG @defendyoungminds Website: https://www.defendyoungminds.com/

What is intimacy? What is preventing you from feeling it right now? What can you do to fix it? I'm answering all of these questions on this episode today so get ready! And come join my program for the full class I taught called "Intentional Intimacy" and for one on one coaching with me! Let's go forward ladies!