The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

We as a society and individuals don't do grief very well. For most of us, it's something we'd rather just not "do" at all. Even knowing what to say to a grieving friend can leave us tongue-tied and lost. But as much as we wish it weren't true, if we're human, we're going to experience loss at some point in life. And grief takes many forms. It can come with a change in lifestyle, a relationship or job we love or with the loss of a pet, sending a child off to school or of course, the death or loss of a loved one. We all experience loss, but we don't all experience grief...and we need to learn how to experience grief, because like any emotion, it heals when we turn toward it and allow ourselves to feel it. In this episode, I'm talking with two beautiful women, sisters Sharon and Erica, grief specialists who guide others through grief based on their own personal journey of walking through grief together. Their journey started when Erica lost not one but two children, and they found how truly lacking they were for support and resources. They decided there must be a better way and began searching for ways to heal that actually worked. In this episode, Sharon and Erica tell their honest, raw and real stories about loss and what it really looks like to heal. Listen to discover: The true definition of grief and how we all have multiple grieving experiences The difference between experiencing grief and processing grief Why we should not compare our losses with someone else's The main reason people get stuck in grief The importance of teaching our children how to grieve The most important thing you can do for a griever Sharon and Erica are full of such incredible insight and wisdom on what grief actually looks like, how to process it and why the traditional advice just doesn't work. If you're looking for advice on how to talk to or support someone who is grieving or how to heal from your own loss, I know this episode is going to help you see grief in a new way and let you know you're not alone. "Grief is so overwhelming. It's completely debilitating. It affects every area of your life, every single relationship you have. So, who wants that?" – Erica Honore "The most powerful thing you could do is just sit with a griever." – Sharon Brubaker "One of the most disrespectful things you can say to a griever is 'I know how you feel.'" – Sharon Brubaker "Healing from grief is possible. But what happens as a society is that we say you'll never get over that." – Sharon Brubaker "Some days, I'm going to cry. Some days, I'm going to be mad. Some days, I'm not going to know what I feel. But it's all okay." – Erica Honore LINKS & RESOURCES: Healing Start with the Heart (Sharon and Erica's Website) https://www.healingstartswiththeheart.com/ Other Podcast Episodes on Grief https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/?sterm=grief The Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart MORE ADULT CHAIR: The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Codependency is one of those issues that can often come across as selfless to those around us...in fact, it might even earn us praise because we seem so nice and helpful (although at our own expense). But what if I told you that codependency was actually a form of control? This episode today was inspired by a very insightful question from one of our listeners who shared his realization that in his codependency, he was being unintentionally manipulative and controlling. He was showing up as the ever-helpful husband, but he was often doing this from a place of trying to get his own needs met (earning his wife's love, support, etc.). Of course, this was not conscious, and once he had his awakening, he wanted to know how to move forward and learn how to be genuinely helpful and healthy. Codependency is one of my favorite topics to talk about, and in this episode, I'm giving you five simple steps for what to do next when you find yourself asking, "I'm codependent. Now what?" Listen to discover: How we improve our relationships with others when we're codependent Why this is different than intentional or abusive control Five steps to break the pattern of codependency Why realizing you're codependent isn't a bad thing If this is you, the first step is to drop the blame and shame. You weren't trying to be manipulative; you were trying to survive based on what your programming told you to do. Once you realize this, you can step into a whole new chapter in your life...one filled with healthier relationships and a healthier connection to self! "We're controlling and being manipulative from an unconscious place." - Michelle Chalfant "We betray ourselves and change who we are in order to make sure other people outside of us are happy and peaceful. That's how it's manipulative and controlling." - Michelle Chalfant "We need someone who can fact check us." - Michelle Chalfant "That's why so many codependents are so exhausted, because our energy is going out to others all day, every day." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Other Podcast Episodes on Codependency https://theadultchair.com/?s=codependency&pageName=default The Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

The world around us demands so much of us. If we're not careful, it can erode our souls, steal our true selves and get us to believe lies about the source of our worth. We have to become conscious and aware to step into our true power and a whole, awakened life. I have been a huge fan of Dr. Shefali for years. I got SO much out of her work on conscious parenting when my kids were young, and it's no wonder she's become so well known for her work. But her new book might just be my favorite yet — I truly couldn't put it down (it's SO aligned with The Adult Chair®) — and I'm beyond thrilled to have her on the show to discuss how to have a radical (and beautiful) awakening in life. In this conversation, we explore the way our ego and our social conditioning covers up the true self and keeps us from living free lives. This can be especially true for those oriented towards giving, nurturing and connecting. Society takes these gifts and trains us to be outward focused, seeking praise, validation and approval instead of turning inward and claiming who we really are. Dr. Shefali shares her own story of awakening, when she realized that despite her work, she was living in the "matrix" and ignoring her true wants and needs to try to get love from others (what she calls the "beggar" mentality). By going deep into the often difficult work of looking at the ego and the masks we all wear, she was able to strip away the lies and see what was true — and step into the authentic self-love and self-care we all deserve. Listen to discover: Shefali's own radical awakening The trap women (and men) fall into How to stop suppressing the true self What soul erosion is and how it forms The "triple threat" women face in childhood The role of the ego in our life What keeps us from awakening (especially in our culture) This is a profound conversation that will take the blinders off and change what you think is normal, while inspiring you to strive for what is truly possible for you — and for all of us. "We, women especially, need to snap out of our chronic civility, helplessness and unworthiness." - Dr. Shefali "We cannot waste our life never discovering our true self." - Dr. Shefali "When we're told we can only be given worth when we put others before ourselves, now that giving heart leads to an obliteration of ourselves." - Dr. Shefali "We're so disconnected from our true self, we don't know who we are at all." - Michelle Chalfant "The way out is in. We have to go in to heal." - Michelle Chalfant "I want what's on the other side of that wall, but you got to go through the wall, and the wall is our pain." - Michelle Chalfant "We tell ourselves the greatest stories in the world, and we don't know we're telling ourselves stories." - Dr. Shefali "The greatest narcissism is to pretend you're not a queen or a king and not own your voice." - Dr. Shefali Resources "A Radical Awakening" Book and Course http://aradicalawakening.com/ Dr. Shefali Website https://www.drshefali.com/ Free Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

It takes courage to do our work and look at the stuff that scares us, and I believe we all need encouragement and inspiration along the way. And the story I have for you today is SO inspiring! I got to know Susan Gorey as part of The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program. From the beginning, I could feel Susan's strength and her fearlessness around speaking up for what she felt was right. But I also witnessed her unconsciously causing others to feel uncomfortable and unsafe around her. Susan called it putting off a feeling of "broken glass" — a sharpness or sense of conflict or that would sometimes come out in communication. During the certification program, she faced this "broken glass" and some of her deepest fears. This caused her to go through an incredible and fast transformation…and I know it's real, because it's stuck! In this episode, Susan shares what it was like growing up in an environment filled with criticism and conflict and how that childhood wounding caused her to show up later in life — looking for love through masks, feeling like she had to be bold and strong and not always self-regulating her approach to conflict and relationships. Then she shares how she used The Adult Chair and our work together to drop the cement suitcase she was carrying from childhood, go deep into the shadow beliefs she carried and transform from within so her wounding stopped running the show. This is a raw and real episode that shows what truly is possible on this journey of healing! Listen to discover: Susan's story of transformation using The Adult Chair model How she broke a generational cycle of criticism and judgment Her journey of dropping the cement suitcase and no longer living from her wounding How we worked together to bring an experiential shift into her life The changes she has seen in herself and her relationships since her transformation At the end of the episode, I share a very special surprise for Susan that might leave you a little teary-eyed (at least she and I were!). I love Susan's story so much because it's a beautiful example of how we don't have to change who we are when we transform…we actually reveal who we really are. Susan's strength and tenacity are beautiful qualities — and now she and everyone around her gets to experience them from her Adult self instead of the wounded self. Doing our work isn't easy, but as Susan shows, when we're willing to go into the darkness and shadows and walk through them, we can stop living in them and instead find new life on the other side! "We have to clean our slate...because we can only take people as far as we have gone." - Michelle Chalfant "I brought light to my shadowy areas." - Susan Gorey "We all live from our childhood wounding. We all get covered up. That true self gets covered up by all these masks." - Michelle Chalfant "In The Adult Chair, we become conscious of who we are and our wounding." - Michelle Chalfant "What I realized is my wounding, my childhood, my sadness and all of those masks...I didn't have to carry it anymore." - Susan Gorey "We get signs of who we are all the time." - Michelle Chalfant "When we look at our stuff that scares us the most, we come out as transformed people." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Susan Gorey Website https://forwardtogethercoaching.com/ The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: "I Own.") https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We talk a lot about how to set boundaries in The Adult Chair®, but sometimes we forget that we are human and sometimes we cross others' boundaries. The other side of mastering boundaries is learning how to humbly and gracefully receive a boundary when the tables are turned and we're the ones being asked to shift our behavior or approach. It's very easy to perceive boundaries as criticism and go on the defensive, but receiving a boundary is an opportunity to understand someone better and deepen our relationships. When we show up with presence, pay attention to our triggers and respond with grace, we grow as a person and show up in a more intentional and loving way with the people around us. In this episode, we're looking at the other side of boundaries, and I'm walking you through simple steps for how to receive a boundary well and what not to do when approached with a boundary (plus, how to recover the conversation if you do find yourself getting defensive...it happens to all of us!). Listen to discover: Practical steps for receiving a boundary with grace Tips for recentering when triggered How to respond kindly and respectfully What not to do when someone sets a boundary with you How to spot (and get out of) an Adolescent reaction If someone comes to you with a boundary, try to think of it as them sharing with you instead of drawing a line in the sand or putting up a wall. Sharing comes from a place of vulnerability and wanting connection, and it's an honor when someone feels safe enough to share with us...even if it feels a little hard to hear sometimes. It takes practice to receive a boundary with grace, but when you own your stuff, you will find you have healthier relationships all around. "Give them that space to share whatever it is they need to share." - Michelle Chalfant "Get in your Adult and remind yourself, 'It's not about me.'" - Michelle Chalfant "You want to make sure the person that's sharing their boundary with you feels seen and heard." - Michelle Chalfant Resources The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: "I Own.") https://theadultchair.com/membership/ TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Do you find yourself feeling unfulfilled and empty, despite seemingly having everything you need to be happy? Do you crave closer relationships but feel like you can't connect at the deep level you want? These feelings can often be subtle signs of childhood emotional neglect, which is when our parents or caregivers didn't tend to or validate our emotions as children. This sets us up for an adult life where we don't know how to feel our own emotions — which is essential to experiencing joy, passion and connection! In this show, I'm chatting with Dr. Jonice Webb, a psychologist and author and a highly requested guest in The Adult Chair® community, about how to spot childhood emotional neglect and how to begin the process of accessing your emotions as an adult. This show is filled with incredible insights into an issue that unknowingly affects so many of us and how to heal from it. Listen to discover: What childhood emotional neglect is Why invalidating our feelings leads to shame How childhood emotional neglect affects adult relationships What emotional intimacy is Rebuilding from childhood emotional neglect Steps to start your healing journey Childhood emotional neglect isn't necessarily abuse; in fact, it can happen in very loving, well meaning homes. But anything that disconnects us from our emotions — our inner navigation system and a key to living in The Adult Chair — is going to keep us from living the happy, fulfilled life we all dream of. I hope this episode encourages you to look inward and connect with the deepest parts of who you are. That is how you will experience the fullness of life and connection with others! "We need our feelings to survive and thrive in our adult life." - Dr. Jonice Webb "Eventually the child brain just erects a wall so that you don't have to feel anything, and that wall stays there until you take it down." - Dr. Jonice Webb "Men have the equal capacity or ability to feel all emotions because they're human." - Michelle Chalfant "What you have inside is a constellation of how your parents treated your feelings." - Dr. Jonice Webb "Emotions are the expression of your deepest self." - Dr. Jonice Webb "Emotions are our built-in navigation system, and they guide us." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Dr. Jonice Webb Website https://emotionalneglect.com "Running on Empty" (Dr. Jonice Webb book) https://drjonicewebb.com/the-book/ Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

I know you guys love all things Enneagram (and I do too!), so I'm thrilled to bring back our resident Enneagram expert and dear friend of mine, Ramona Reid. Ramona, who is also an Adult Chair® Certified Coach, has always done a beautiful job weaving together The Adult Chair® with the Enneagram, helping us understand how our inner child and childhood wounding shapes our personality type and how our Adolescent fear manifests depending on our Enneagram type. But the point of the Enneagram is not to put you in a box of personality...it's to help you see the ways you're already stuck so you can transform and become a more whole, authentic self! Each type also has the healthiest, highest version of their type (aka The Adult Chair) where the beautiful gifts and virtues of each type bring healing to the world...for example, Type 1's integrity, Type 2's love, Type 8's power and Type 9's peace. So, in this episode, we're focusing on what healthy looks like for each Enneagram type, so you can better understand what life looks like for you when you are in your Adult Chair! Listen to discover: A breakdown of all nine types and their highest versions What The Adult Chair looks like for each Enneagram type How to tell when you're becoming healthier Why we all access healing differently I hope this episode gives you a guide to see when you're living in your Adult Chair and reminds you of the beautiful gifts you uniquely bring to the world! "When we're in our Adolescent...our way of being is coming from the illusion that there's something missing....When we start to realize that we are in fact the source of this thing that we think is missing...that's when we start being in our Adult Chair." - Ramona Reid "The only way we can really get there is to identify the feeling behind the doing." - Ramona Reid "I don't think time heals. I think really getting in there and being curious and working with our emotions is what heals wounds." - Ramona Reid "This is what The Adult Chair is all about. That's why we've got all the aspects of what a healthy Adult looks like, so we can reach and point our energy towards that." - Michelle Chalfant "You're not going to lose those parts of yourself. You're going to lose the part of yourself that acts out by not wanting to be scared." - Ramona Reid "The next thought is the conscious thought from the Adult perspective." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Ramona Reid Website http://www.mynashvillecenter.com/ Episode #51: Find Your Authentic Self at the Heart of the Enneagram with Ramona Reid https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/51/ Episode #114: Deepening The Adult Chair® Using The Wisdom of the Enneagram with Ramona Reid https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/114-deepening-the-adult-chair-using-the-wisdom-of-the-enneagram-with-ramona-reid/ Episode #176: Childhood Wounding in the Enneagram with Ramona Reid https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/176/ Episode #205: Stress and Your Enneagram Type with Ramona Reid https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/205/ Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/ TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We've talked a lot about narcissistic abuse and the emotional effects of it on this podcast, but we haven't dug into how this experience affects the brain and how neuroscience and healing from narcissistic abuse go hand in hand…until today! In this episode, we're diving deep into this very important topic with Dr. Rhonda Freeman, who is an expert on the brain, neuroplasticity and trauma and who brings a message of hope to anyone wondering how to heal. Dr. Freeman is a neuropsychologist who works with patients with neurological conditions and brain trauma, and after her own experience in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, she began using her knowledge of the brain to help survivors of abuse and trauma heal. This is an absolutely fascinating episode that gives an inside look into what is actually going on in the brain during and after an abusive relationship, how the healing process works and the hopeful science that shows why anyone can change their brain after trauma. Listen to discover: How a romantic relationship with an unhealthy person changes the brain The effects of narcissism on children Why anyone can heal and how the healing process works The prefrontal cortex and trauma How to get back into a balanced brain state The importance of bodywork in changing the brain One of the most interesting things Dr. Freeman talks about is how abusive situations activate parts of the brain that wouldn't be activated otherwise...for example, the bonding system and threat system being triggered at the same time. When we can see what's going on at a brain-chemistry level, it helps us understand why these situations are truly so unique and damaging...and why none of it is your fault! But the hopeful side is that the brain is constantly changing and being shaped by new experiences, so with the right tools, you can heal and transform your brain and get back to a healthy, balanced state...and this episode will show you how! "In general, experiences change our brains." - Dr. Rhonda Freeman "The brain will do whatever it takes to protect you." - Dr. Rhonda Freeman "We're bonded...and even though we're in threat, we can't let go." - Michelle Chalfant "You have to have others to heal." - Dr. Rhonda Freeman "Pay attention to your intuition. If it feels off, don't sweep it under the carpet." - Michelle Chalfant "Bonds don't necessarily mean love." - Dr. Rhonda Freeman Resources Dr. Rhonda Freeman Website https://neuroinstincts.com/ Dr. Rhonda Freeman Instagram https://www.instagram.com/neuroinstincts/ BrainHQ (Brain Training) https://www.brainhq.com/ Diner Dash (Video Game with Cognitive Benefits) https://www.crazygames.com/game/diner-dash TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

As you know, codependency is one of my "things." Fortunately, it's less of a thing these days, but I understand firsthand what it's like to spend years so focused on others that we lose our sense of self. That's part of why we talk about this so much on the podcast — so many people suffer for years not knowing about codependency, and I'm passionate about helping you get free...quickly and simply! My guest today, Darlene Lancer, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author and expert on codependency and relationships. She has worked with couples and individuals for 30 years, and she shares SO much valuable information in today's show about what codependency looks like, how to begin recovery, the connection between shame and codependency and practical steps to becoming a healthy, whole you. Listen to discover: The three stages to codependency recovery The shame and codependency connection Shame attacks and how to get out of them The importance of mindfulness in recovery How to start feeling your anger as a codependent The connection between codependency and attachment styles 10 ways to love yourself Darlene closes the show with her 10 tips for loving yourself, and let me tell you, they are so beautiful! I remember when I was beginning my healing journey and being told I needed to learn self-love but having no idea where to begin...and these tips are exactly where to start! I hope this is an enlightening and empowering episode for anyone ready to unlearn codependency and learn to love themselves. "We become alienated from who we really are because of faulty parenting, and we keep trying to fill up that emptiness or feel more alive by trying to connect to something outside ourselves." - Darlene Lancer "Self-esteem in action is being self-empowered." - Darlene Lancer "A parent's most important job is to reflect their child." - Michelle Chalfant "Codependency is based on faulty beliefs." - Darlene Lancer "The unconscious doesn't distinguish between messages it hears from the outside and messages you tell yourself." - Darlene Lancer "When we realize what's going on, it's like Act 2. And it's a very exciting time." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Darlene Lancer Website https://www.whatiscodependency.com/ Episode #249: The Power of Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/249/ Episode #253: Codependency and Anger with Michelle Farris https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/253/ The Adult Chair Membership - April "I Believe" Month https://theadultchair.com/membership/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Everyone wants a caring, loving family, right? But is it possible for close to become too close? "Enmeshment" is a term that's been gaining more traction recently, and it describes family systems that are intertwined in unhealthy ways. These families appear very loving from the outside, but that love is often based on guilt and obligation...and usually the family doesn't even know this about themselves! My brilliant guest today, Dr. Ken Adams, is pulling back the veil on enmeshment and helping us understand what it is and when and how it forms. One of the leading researchers and teachers on this topic, Dr. Adams helps us understand when closeness crosses a line, how to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy family structures and how to break free and develop secure attachments to your partner, friends or other relationships you've created. Listen to discover: What enmeshment means How it forms in childhood The effects enmeshment has on a spouse or partner How to change the family system Why getting free is something you have to do for yourself Often, enmeshment is rooted in a lonely parent who substitutes their child for their partner. This leads to adult children who feel a sense of obligation to the parent's well-being, even at the expense of their own needs or the life they've created. The good news is that this doesn't have to be an either/or scenario. It's possible to love your family without feeling tangled up with them, and you CAN redefine the relationship and become free to be who you're meant to be — including a great son or daughter. "The love contract is defined by obligatory guilt and loyalty, not about freedom to love." - Dr. Ken Adams "The empathetic, sensitive soul in the family gets globbed onto by the lonely parent." - Dr. Ken Adams "Enmeshment has a direct impact on romantic availability." - Dr. Ken Adams "Emancipation is not a negotiation." - Dr. Ken Adams "The idea of cracking [the false self] open and becoming the true self is terrifying because we don't know who we are without that mask." - Michelle Chalfant "It feels like your spouse is having an affair, but it's with their mother or their father." - Michelle Resources Dr. Ken Adams Website https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/ Dr. Ken Adams YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzFj2abP0cx8tEO1eLyjbDA "When He's Married to Mom" (Dr. Ken Adams book) https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/when-hes-married-to-mom/ "Silently Seduced" (Dr. Ken Adams book) https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/silently-seduced/ The Adult Chair Membership - April "I Believe" Month https://theadultchair.com/membership/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

This 5-minute meditation promotes relaxation, healing, and self-love. It's a wonderful meditation for emotional healing and/or physical healing or for anyone seeking greater peace in their lives.

Feeling stuck in life is one of the worst feelings. It can feel helpless, hopeless and confining — like no matter what we do, nothing is going to change and we have no options. But this is a story from the ego! From our Adult, we know we ALWAYS have choices. That doesn't always mean we love every option or we get the exact outcome we want, but we are never stuck. We can always make the next best choice. Many of our listeners have written in asking about how to get unstuck, move forward or get their joy back, so today I'm sharing five simple steps to start getting change from the inside. These steps are easy but PACKED with power. If you try these and don't see a change, I want to hear about it — I'm that sure they will help you! Listen to discover: Five simple (but powerful) steps to getting unstuck What keeps us from making the changes we want How to reconnect back to ourselves The power of nature and a gratitude practice in getting unstuck How to stop talking and start doing Everything in your life begins with a dream. It starts with your imagination, daydreaming and really feeling how the life you want could feel (this is how we begin to shift energy). Then it becomes reality as your intention and action align. The answer never comes from the outside. We have to patiently take one step forward at a time, knowing change takes time (but that it can be faster than we think). The life you deserve and are waiting for is right at your fingertips, and you can get there with these simple steps. "If you don't know yourself, how in the world are you going to change?" - Michelle Chalfant "Oftentimes when we're stuck it's because we're not creating." - Michelle Chalfant "What you talk about comes about." - Michelle Chalfant "The only thing that's stuck is your thinking." - Michelle Chalfant "From our Adult Chair, we know we have choices." - Michelle Chalfant Resources 14 Days to Peace and Balance Journaling Prompts https://theadultchair.com/14days 5-Minute Self-Love Meditation https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/5-minute-self-love-meditation/ Episode #254: Change Your Life With Breath With Nevsah Karamehmet https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/254/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Would you believe me if I told you that 90% of unexplained illnesses could be traced to one simple thing...something you do every day? Believe it or not, they can, and that thing is breathing. Studies have shown that hundreds of different ailments that can't be traced back to a known cause can often be connected to dysfunctional breathing. The good news is that breathing is SO simple and easy to work with (all it takes is about five minutes a day), and in this episode, I'm interviewing the perfect person to help you get started. Nevsah Karamehmet is a breathing expert and a wealth of knowledge on the science behind the breath and how it impacts every system in our bodies. In this episode, she shares how breathing affects our thinking and ability to process emotions, what healthy breathing really looks like and how to change your life through your breath. Listen to discover: The connection between breath and psychology The science behind healthy breathing How balancing the inhale and exhale balances the nervous system Why breathwork is a great introduction to meditation The connection between different types of breathing and different health issues Simple exercises to help you start breathing better I know what Nevsah is saying is true, because I've had this experience working with a personal trainer on my lower back. He connected my pain back to my breathing and has me doing breathwork to heal a physical issue. How much more is our breathing also affecting our thoughts, feelings and emotions every day? Breath is the essence of life, so it's absolutely something we need to learn how to do. Nevsah gives us a few really basic exercises to begin with that are SO easy and can make such a huge difference in our overall well-being. Every human needs to hear this episode! "Breathing affects our psychology. The way we breathe affects how we think." - Nevsah Karamehmet "There is no correct way to breathe on the mechanical level...We all have different breathing habits. Some of those habits are helpful and some of those are harmful." - Nevsah Karamehmet "If your breathing is flexible, then you are healthy." - Nevsah Karamehmet "When we don't stop the emotions, they pass through us." - Michelle Chalfant "In my breath journey, I became an Adult." - Nevsah Karamehmet Resources Nevsah Karamehmet Website https://www.nevsah.com/ Breath Coaching Federation https://www.breathcoachingfederation.org/ Breath Hub App https://breathhub.app/ Nadi Shadan Breathing Technique https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1jb7l2Uf7c Belly Breath Technique https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q9WTzqQTns&t=2s TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Those who struggle with codependency often struggle with anger as well...but not in the way you might think. Unlike ragers or those with explosive anger, codependents tend to stuff and suppress anger to please others and avoid conflict...often not even knowing what they're feeling themselves. This is just as unhealthy! We need anger to guide us towards our needs and connect us to our experience. Anger, when expressed in a healthy way, can also lead to healthier relationships as we begin telling others how we feel and resolving problems before they turn into resentment. Today, I'm talking with Michelle Farris, a licensed psychotherapist and anger management specialist, who is sharing her experience of learning to own and communicate her anger. She talks about how codependency forms, why feeling our anger is important and how to begin overcoming the fear of conflict and expressing yourself in relationships. Listen to discover: Concrete examples of what people pleasing looks like The importance of validating emotions Beginning recovery from codependency How to catch the first thought and regulate anger (while still owning it) How to communicate your anger in a healthy way Anger is such an important human emotion...I think of it as rocket fuel to propel us towards what we want. When we're codependent and don't know ourselves, anger can be a key way to tap into our core needs and desires. It's not selfish to look inward...and what you tap into inside of yourself might surprise you. "Whenever we hit a road bump, I always remember there's going to be a huge gift on the other side of that." - Michelle Farris "Healthy anger is us owning how we feel in the moment." - Michelle Farris "When we stuff our anger, we're denying our own experience." - Michelle Farris "I think of anger as rocket fuel. It really helps to push us forward in life." - Michelle Chalfant "We don't cross the finish and feel 100% healthy. We are all a work in progress. But the thing you want to be doing is making sure you're walking forward on your journey." - Michelle Chalfant "As you get healthier, you will attract healthier people into your circle." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Michelle Farris Website https://www.counselingrecovery.com/ Michelle Farris Facebook https://www.facebook.com/CounselingRecovery/ Michelle Farris Instagram https://www.instagram.com/counseling_recovery/ Episode #11: Codependency: I'm Ok If You're Ok https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/11-codependency-im-ok-if-youre-ok/ Episode #127: Codependency: Ending the Addiction to Help Others https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/127-codependency-ending-the-addiction-to-help-others/ Episode #172: The Joy of Codependency https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/172-the-joy-of-codependency/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Wow — I was blown away by the response to last week's episode (#251) with my one and only, Graham Chalfant. It seems like so many could relate to our relationship dynamics and the learning and work we've done over the years...and so many of you also asked how we started doing the work and making changes in our relationship. In this week's episode, I'm focusing the conversation back on the self and how we can each choose to show up differently in our relationships from our Adult Chair. We can't make anyone change, but if we think of relationships as a dance, we can change the way we're dancing, which gives our partners the opportunity to shift and fall into step with us. This is true for all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones. Listen to discover: My story of changing the dance in my own marriage How to change the tone of your relationship by doing your own work Finding your self-worth and setting boundaries in relationships How to be more open and relational We all bring our wounds, expectations and "stuff" to a relationship. When we do our work, we not only transform our own lives but we change the tone of our relationships, inviting friends and partners who are a true match for us into a new way of relating to each other. Everything — including strong, connected relationships — starts within! "If you want to change your relationship with anybody, you've gotta change the dance." - Michelle Chalfant "We are always attracting in other people based on our unconscious programming." - Michelle Chalfant "You've gotta see yourself as a very beautiful, precious diamond, and when you can see yourself like that, boundaries become more natural." - Michelle Chalfant "When you own your stuff, it sets you free." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Episode #251: How Feeling Your Emotions Can Change Your Relationship with Graham Chalfant https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/251/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Everyone wants connection — we're hardwired for it as humans! But we can only connect as deeply with others as we've connected with ourselves. Strong relationships start by going within, feeling our emotions and being willing to open up and share with our partners. On this week's podcast, I have a very, very special guest...my husband! We're talking with you today together and sharing some very personal details about our marriage and how feeling emotions has changed our relationship for the better. Graham comes from a background where emotions weren't expressed, and I come from an Italian family that was very expressive. For so many years, we both saw the other as not emotional enough or too emotional. Learning to feel, honor and share our emotions has deepened our connection so much and been so transformational for us. In this episode, Graham shares what helped him learn to process his emotions, how that's changed his response to different situations and the changes we've both seen in our relationship. Listen to discover: How relationships can help us overcome childhood issues when we approach them with consciousness The importance of raw, open communication in a relationship Somatic processing and the power of feeling emotions in the body Navigating anger and stress in a relationship How feeling emotions deepens intimacy (both emotional and physical) By the way, Graham did all of this work on his own (no bonus points for having a spouse who is a therapist and coach!). Which means YOU can do this too! We're all born with the ability to feel our emotions, but we have to tune in with intention instead of running away from them. When we do, we'll find they stop coming out sideways and are instead an invitation into deeper connection with others. "When we engage in a relationship with another human being, our childhood issues are going to rear up. That person is here to help us work through those childhood issues." - Michelle Chalfant "Once our youngest child left the house, then it all slowed down and it became more apparent to me that I needed to figure out this 'feeling' thing." - Graham Chalfant "I learned I could just sit with it and in 30 seconds, that heaviness would literally melt away." - Graham Chalfant "Everybody has the ability to feel emotions. At some point along our life journey, we turn them off and turn them down." - Michelle Chalfant "When you feel an emotion without building a story around it, the emotion goes through you in 90 seconds." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Episode #42: Inviting Your Relationship into The Adult Chair with Michelle and Graham Chalfant https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/42-inviting-your-relationship-into-the-adult-chair-with-michelle-and-graham-chalfant/ Episode #49: Am I Fraud? Imposter Syndrome & You! https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/49-am-i-a-fraud-imposter-syndrome-you/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston New Dates: September 16-18, 2021 https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

One of the biggest complaints I hear from clients is, "I wish my partner/parent/friend/whoever would be more empathetic!" We often look down on or get frustrated with those we don't feel are empathetic enough, but empathy isn't a trait you either have or you don't...or a trait that makes someone good or bad. Like any healthy habit, it's a skill we learn...and anyone can learn it if they want to! Everyone wants to be heard and understood, and this is why empathy is such a beautiful skill in life: it's a tool that helps us connect more deeply with others and show them we care. In this episode, I'm giving you four simple steps that you can use to begin practicing and building empathy with any relationship in your life! Listen to discover: The definition of empathy Four simple steps to build empathy How to get started with feeling emotions Things you can ask the other person to show you care Why showing empathy is different than prying When you practice empathy, you open your own heart and emotional body. You deepen connection with others but also yourself! Being able to show empathy is deeply connected to our ability to feel our own emotions. And since feeling emotions and being present are core parts of The Adult Chair, as you do your own work and live in your Adult Chair more often, don't be surprised when you find that empathy begins to come more naturally. It's all part of being healthy! "If you don't listen well to others and automatically go into "fix it" mode, you may need to brush up on your empathy." - Michelle Chalfant "Offering empathy to another human being will get you much further than fixing them." - Michelle Chalfant "Deep listening with empathy can change someone." - Michelle Chalfant "Empathy is a skill that can be learned." - Michelle Chalfant Resources TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Compassion is something we have when we live in our healthiest Adult self, but how easy is it for you to turn around and offer that compassion to yourself? Most of us speak very differently to ourselves than we would to a friend, especially when we make a mistake or are going through a hard time. But self-compassion is an essential part of healing! In fact, studies show that truly effective therapy is improved by increasing our self-compassion so we can live with more love and less anxiety and stress. My guest today, Dr. Kristin Neff, is one of the world's leading self-compassion experts and one of the first to conduct scientific research on the benefits of self-compassion and how it can change your life. I LOVED our conversation, which covers everything from what self-compassion is and how to cultivate it to the inner critic, anger, gender roles and the way society often makes it difficult to cultivate self-compassion. Listen to discover: What self compassion really is The three core components of self-compassion Emotional and behavioral self-compassion practices Why self-compassion is not selfish When anger is constructive and loving Why self-compassion is essential for overcoming depression, anxiety and stress Self-compassion is not selfish. In fact, studies show that when we show ourselves compassion, it actually increases our compassion for others! Life is messy and none of us is perfect, which is why approaching the journey — both ours and others' — with gentleness and kindness is so important to being healthy! "The biggest problem with self-esteem is it's contingent on success." - Dr. Kristin Neff "The word 'compassion' by definition is a connected stance." - Dr. Kristin Neff "I know from practicing The Adult Chair, where we're mindful, we practice self-compassion, we're living in the moment, we're tuning into the moment...it gets easier." - Michelle Chalfant "What reminds you to practice self-compassion is your suffering." - Dr. Kristin Neff "I really changed myself through self-compassion." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Dr. Kristin Neff Website https://self-compassion.org/ "Fierce Self-Compassion" (Kristin Neff Book - Pre-Order) https://www.amazon.com/Fierce-Self-Compassion-Harness-Kindness-Thrive/dp/006299106X The Adult Chair Membership: $1 offer Use promo code "ANITA" to try your first month for $1 February Theme = "I Love." https://theadultchair.com/membership/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Narcissistic abuse is, I believe, one of the most toxic experiences out there. While NO kind of abuse is ok, narcissists can be extremely subtle, sneaky and manipulative, making them difficult to spot. Anyone who has been in a relationship with one knows how confusing and damaging it can be. My guest today, Meredith Miller, is a holistic coach who helps people heal themselves from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. After experiencing abuse from a narcissistic parent for nearly 38 years, she has a deep understanding of a narcissist's traits, how to rebuild a sense of self and how to turn the experience into an opportunity for healing and growth. Meredith shares her own story of abuse and healing, and we talk about SO many important topics, from what narcissistic abuse is to the myths around abuse and how to start healing. Listen to discover: How to identify abuse (and steps to take to get out) Navigating toxic families and people Tools for healing trauma Setting boundaries and reprogramming the subconscious mind How to navigate narcissistic partners as a parent How to go "no contact" (if that's right for you) There is SO much incredible information packed into this hour! Meredith truly gets it, and I'm so grateful for the gift of her time and expertise in helping the world recognize and transform the effects of abuse. "You can't share your hopes and dreams with toxic people." - Meredith Miller "It's so important that we stop, pause, work on our own healing and transform those programs." - Michelle Chalfant "The trauma awakens you to this whole new potential...we start to discover the parts of ourselves that weren't hurt." - Meredith Miller "When you give explanations for boundaries, toxic people just see that as points to keep negotiating with you on." - Meredith Miller Resources Meredith Miller Website https://www.innerintegration.com/ Meredith Miller Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/inner-integration-podcast/id1418633395 Meredith Miller YouTube https://www.youtube.com/innerintegration Meredith Miller Instagram https://www.instagram.com/inner_integration/ Meredith Miller Facebook https://www.facebook.com/InnerIntegration/ The Adult Chair Membership: $1 offer Use promo code "ANITA" to try your first month for $1 February Theme = "I Love." https://theadultchair.com/membership/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Episode #179: I'm in a Relationship with a Narcissist https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/179/ Episode #196: Spotting Covert Narcissism https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/196/ Episode #207: The Narcissism and Codependency Connection with Ross Rosenberg https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/207-the-narcissism-and-codependency-connection-with-ross-rosenberg/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Decisions, decisions. We are all faced with dozens of choices every day — some that we make without a second thought and others that can leave us wrestling with all our options or get us completely stuck. When we are in the Adolescent Chair (the seat of the ego), decisions can feel intimidating or impossible, not only because we're worried about making the "right" choice, but also because it comes with the other traps of the ego: ruminating thoughts, negative self-talk and stuck parts. Getting into the Adult Chair and bringing in consciousness completely transforms the way we approach and make decisions! In this episode, I walk you through the reasons you might get stuck making a decision, hands-on tools for easier decision making (I love a good pros and cons list) and tools you can use to find blocked parts and get more confident in whatever decision you choose. Listen to discover: Reasons why you might struggle with decision making The downward spiral of self-judgment that can keep us from making decisions Practical steps to get unstuck and make conscious decisions A parts work process to work with blocked parts Choice is a gift, and with these steps, you will find that you can enjoy easy decision making and make the most of the many beautiful opportunities you are offered in life! "This is why we have such a difficult time making decisions: the ego is unconsciously whispering to us 'Don't do that. That's not safe.'" - Michelle Chalfant "The ego can run wild if we're unconscious." - Michelle Chalfant "If you can feel at least 80% [ready to make a decision], it's ok to have a little bit of fear." - Michelle Chalfant "When you bring consciousness into your reality when it comes to decision making, your life will change and you will find that decision making becomes easier than you imagined." - Michelle Chalfant Resources The Adult Chair Membership Use promo code "ANITA" to try your first month for $1 https://theadultchair.com/membership/ TAC Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Each week on this show, I aim to bring you ideas, expertise and tools to make psychology simple and to introduce you to new healing possibilities. But my goal has never been just to share knowledge. My goal is transformation...to make it easy for you to do your work and become who you were meant to be using this model! I love bringing you stories of others who have been able to take what they've learned here and put it into practice to see REAL change in their lives. As others model the model for us, we see how easy it is to use, get ideas for how to apply it and are motivated to keep doing the work because we see how it truly can transform! When I heard Anita share her story in The Adult Chair Membership group, I knew this was one I had to share with you. Anita grew up in a dysfunctional family and has been working to heal her internal programming using The Adult Chair over the last year. The holidays in particular are difficult for Anita because her family didn't celebrate Christmas, even though she always wanted to as a child. She felt a lot of loss, shame and disappointment around the end of the year. But this year, she completely transformed her holiday experience by working with her inner child and creating a magical Christmas for her and her husband. In doing so, she was also able to work through some triggers and view her relationship with her parents in a healthier way. I'm truly blown away by the work she has done, and I know you will be so inspired by her story. Listen to discover: Exactly how Anita used The Adult Chair to transform a negative experience How to work with the inner child to reclaim joy How to stayed grounded and in fact and truth in conversations with family Anita's "gratitude, guidance and grace" daily practice "We get programmed with what our 'norm' is, and until we bring consciousness and awareness, we can't change it." - Michelle Chalfant "Because I've been working so intently with The Adult Chair model this year, that's why I think this holiday experience was totally different." - Anita "When you can bust your stories, or the stories that happen in the Adolescent Chair from our ego, we stay in the present moment, it takes you out of the trigger and it's over." - Michelle Chalfant "Gratitude brings you to presence." - Anita Resources The Adult Chair Membership Use promo code 'Anita' to try your first month for $1 https://theadultchair.com/membership/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant **** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

To start 2021, we are talking all about simple, hands-on tools and practices that you can incorporate into your life to help you get into your Adult Chair — now and all year long. Today, we're talking about one of my favorites: Chinese medicine. Chinese medicine is a beautiful, holistic view of healthcare that helps us find balance on the emotional, physical and spiritual level. It incorporates acupuncture, herbology, bodywork, movement and diet along with meditation and other grounding practices to bring health to your entire self. At the root of all Chinese medicine practices is the idea that we are interconnected beings and true wellness comes from treating the whole person and not just symptoms. I love this approach! In this episode, I talk with Brodie Welch, an acupuncturist and expert in Chinese medicine. We talk about presence, consciousness and processing emotions along with physical tools such as Qi gong and herbs. You might be surprised by the way these overlap with many of the ideas in The Adult Chair! Listen to discover: How Chinese medicine helps the body create health by finding balance How to find patterns and treat them holistically Why it's important to look for connections between how you're feeling and where those feelings manifest in the body What Qi gong is and its benefits Simple self-care actions that you can take each day to live more in balance Brodie also walks us through a simple Qi gong exercise on the podcast that will help you get into balance in the moment (and maybe try a new practice you haven't tried before!). "It's a way of looking at the world and the body as an ecosystem...Chinese medicine sees the body as this interconnected system of different kinds of energy." - Brodie Welch "No state of our physicality doesn't have an emotion that goes with it." - Brodie Welch "It's not about treating a condition. It's about treating a person." - Brodie Welch "You don't have to make this giant leap into someone that you're not...If we can shift a tiny bit today and then the next day, we're going to find a great change." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Brodie Welch Website https://brodiewelch.com/ Free Qi Gong Resource https://brodiewelch.com/calm/ Brodie Welch Podcast https://brodiewelch.com/podcast/ TAC Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Every day, our minds are taking in thousands of sights and sounds that can either bring us stress or calm….sometimes without us even knowing it! But what if we could intentionally use tools like sound and music to bring relaxation, presence and calm into our lives? In this episode, I'm chatting with the fascinating Cheryl B. Engelhardt, a New York-based composer who creates beautiful music designed to boost our brain state and promote healing in our lives. After battling panic attacks and transforming her own anxiety using tools like meditation and a gratitude practice, Cheryl combined her science and music backgrounds to compose arrangements that help us process our emotions, get into the flow state and find more balance in our lives. Cheryl uses her awareness of biological factors like resting heart rate and different types of brain waves along with her own success with affirmations and mindfulness to create intricately designed tracks that affect the listener at the emotional level. Listen to discover: Cheryl's amazing story of overcoming anxiety and pouring what she learned into her musical career How music can help you get in the flow and reduce distraction The science behind how music affects your brain state, mood and more The connection between music and emotions I love the way Cheryl has crafted each song on her new album "Luminary" to focus on releasing or attracting different things like confidence, abundance and love. And I'm telling you...this music puts you in such a focused and present state that you can feel right away! Music, like energy, is frequency and vibration, so it only makes sense that music has the power to impact us at a deep level. What a gift to have a tool that all of us can access and that allows us to balance our brains and heal anxiety just by listening! "Two months into starting a daily meditation practice, I had my last panic attack." - Cheryl B. Engelhardt "Gratitude flips that and gratitude starts to have you say 'What's good here?'" - Michelle Chalfant "The music is matching the energy of the emotion and then it's pulling you up." - Michelle Chalfant Resources "Luminary" Album https://www.iamaluminary.com/ Cheryl B. Engelhardt Instagram https://www.instagram.com/cbemusic/ Cheryl Engelhardt Facebook https://www.facebook.com/cbemusic/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We're all human and we all make mistakes. Unfortunately, sometimes those mistakes hurt people we love and can even create distance or damage in our most important relationships. When a relationship is suffering, there's nothing we want more than to heal and restore it, but many of us don't know where to begin. We might have our own feelings of guilt and shame to overcome or believe the other person never wants to see or talk to us again. But as long as we are alive, there is hope of change! Relationships can and do heal all the time, and you have the power to repair the damage done and move forward in an even stronger relationship than before. In this episode, I'm giving you eight simple steps for healing and transforming the relationships in your life. In it, I give the example of one of my clients who was working to repair her relationship with her kids, but the advice here applies to EVERY relationship...spouse, friend, family, coworker, you name it! Listen to discover: Eight steps to healing a broken relationship How to start the process of repairing the relationship if there's been a disconnect What a true apology looks like How to change the relationship through actions instead of words How to forgive yourself — the most important step no matter what happens in the relationship If you're living on this planet, chances are you've hurt someone and want to know how to make it right. Tune in to discover a practical step-by-step guide to begin the process of healing...for yourself and others! "If someone is willing to repair a relationship and put the time and effort into repairing the relationship, I always have hope." - Michelle Chalfant "Forgiveness allows us to get unstuck and to move on for ourselves. It's freedom!" - Michelle Chalfant "There is great power in accepting what is...if you are not accepting where things are, you are in resistance of truth." - Michelle Chalfant "When you stay with just today in the present, this is where all things can change...including, and most importantly, your perception of yourself." - Michelle Chalfant Resources The Adult Chair Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings The Self Series theadultchair.com/self More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

"Help! I think I've ruined my kids' lives!" I can't tell you how many times I've heard this from clients, listeners and even my own inner critic. No one gets a trial run at parenting, which leads to a lot of self-doubt among parents. We're all learning as we go, and it's easy to wonder if we're doing it right or if we should just go ahead and start a therapy fund for our kids to work through the issues we created. Well, this episode is here to help you put your fears to rest and help you become the healthiest (NOT perfect) parent you can be. I'm breaking down my seven tips for healthy parenting from your Adult Chair (hint: they're more about you than your kids) and hopefully providing a little reassurance that you're normal and no, you haven't ruined your kids lives (wait until you hear the not-so-proud parenting moments I share!). Listen to discover: What a parent's job actually is Seven steps to become a healthy parent Why there's no such thing as perfect Finding compassion for yourself and your kids How to handle it when your kids trigger you Setting boundaries and how to respond when your child makes a mistake Whether you feel like you've screwed up or you're just starting out and trying to get it right, I promise that it's never too late. When YOU become healthy and live in your Adult Chair, your kids will see it modeled and become healthy too. Check out this episode to get simple, practical tips you can put into action to change the way you parent today. "Humans learn from experience far more than they learn from words." - Michelle Chalfant "Our job as parents or caregivers of these beautiful little beings is to be guard rails for them...kids are supposed to make mistakes while in the loving protection of your home." - Michelle Chalfant "You can't change something without owning where you are and accepting it." - Michelle Chalfant "Boundaries help our kids feel safe." - Michelle Chalfant "Don't keep your kid on a one-way expressway. Let them be who they came here to become." - Michelle Chalfant Resources The Adult Chair Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings The Adult Chair Membership (December = "I Forgive" Month) https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Dr. Shefali (Conscious Parenting) https://drshefali.com/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Who is ready to get rid of the anxiety of 2020 and move into a more empowered 2021? I know I am! Anxiety is something all of us have felt during this crazy and difficult year. Maybe for you it's a familiar feeling that has been turned up to full blast or maybe you're finding yourself battling with anxiety for the first time in your life. It can feel consuming and hard to break out of. But you have more power than you realize...power to transform your anxiety and move forward into a more healthy, peaceful and balanced life no matter what is going on around you. In The Adult Chair, we define anxiety as "the physical manifestation of unfelt emotions." Thoughts create emotions, emotions get pent up inside the body and then these (often unconscious) emotions rattle the nervous system. We have to get to the root of this for anxiety to change! In this episode, I'm giving you two simple steps and five tools to do just that. These will show you how to work through your emotions, calm anxiety and walk into a more empowered future. Listen to discover: What really causes anxiety The two quick and easy steps you can take to begin calming your anxiety now Five free tools you can use at home to eliminate anxiety How to feel empowered during and after anxiety During the episode, I walk you through a mindfulness exercise so you can actually begin calming your nervous system and lowering your anxiety WHILE you listen! That resource is at minute mark 10:28-13:34 so you can go back and find it anytime you need it. I hope this episode gives you straightforward action steps that you can take to get rid of anxiety and live with more freedom and a sense of power in your life! "Becoming really, truly aware of what anxiety is is step #1 to really getting into your power." - Michelle Chalfant "The ego says, 'Do more and you'll feel better.' But it doesn't work. It's an illusion." - Michelle Chalfant "When we sit and just think and think and think about what's going with us, it's a treadmill. It doesn't solve anything." - Michelle Chalfant "Taking action is what brings our power in." - Michelle Chalfant Resources 14 Days of FREE Journaling Prompts https://theadultchair.com/14days The Adult Chair Membership (December = "I Forgive" Month) https://theadultchair.com/membership/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

What if you had far more say over your life than you realized? What if you could create the reality you want...just by changing your perspective? As we learn more about energy and consciousness, one thing is becoming clear: our biggest limitations are the ones we put on ourselves, and with awareness, so many possibilities open up to us! In this episode, I interview the fascinating Dr. Dain Heer about expanding consciousness and creating our reality. A practitioner of a method called Access Consciousness, Dr. Dain shares his incredible story of going from feeling unhappy and wanting to die to experiencing unbelievable peace in his life using the tools and techniques of the Access Consciousness model. Listen to discover: How to change the default mode network of the brain How to shift the electromagnetic signals of negativity and judgment (and how this changes everything!) How to clear emotions and beliefs you picked up from others Simple tools and techniques to remove limitations How to view this season in the world as a chance to become better This episode ends with Dr. Dain leading us through an Access Consciousness process and let me tell you, it was powerful! I hope this episode helps open your mind and shift your perspective to see the possibilities all around — and most importantly, within — you. "Not only do I have a level of peace that's growing in my life, but when it wants to go away, I've got a way of changing it." - Dr. Dain Heer "98% of your thoughts, feelings and emotions are things you're picking up from other people." - Dr. Dain Heer "Your point of view creates your reality." - Dr. Dain Heer "Everything is energy. We've got to pay attention to our thoughts and our feelings and our emotions and our beliefs." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Dr. Dain Heer Website https://drdainheer.com/ Access Consciousness Website https://www.accessconsciousness.com/ The Clearing Statement Website http://theclearingstatement.com/ The Adult Chair Gatherings https://theadultchair.com/tacgatherings More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

It can be really tough to talk about guilt. No one wants to focus on a mistake they've made, and it can be especially hard to own and admit when we've done something wrong if we're wracked with shame and beating up on ourselves. But guilt can be a very healthy emotion when it comes from The Adult Chair — when it's a path to healing rather than self-shaming. In this episode, I walk through the ways guilt serves us and how it can be a tool to let us know when we need to repair relationships. I'm also breaking down how you can tell when guilt is irrational or unnecessary and how to release guilt once you've made amends. Listen to discover: The difference between shame and guilt When guilt is healthy and when it is unhealthy Steps for working through guilt How to (truly) apologize and repair a relationship How to stop ruminating on guilt and move forward Recognizing false guilt I see so many people who struggle with unhealthy guilt, whether they feel guilty for something they didn't do or can't forgive themselves when they've done something wrong...especially during the holidays and this pandemic. Guilt should never be all-consuming like this...and it doesn't have to be when you: Own it Apologize Take action and Let it go from your healthy Adult Chair "There's a big difference between guilt and shame. People often fall into shame and label it as guilt." - Michelle Chalfant "It's a choice to continue to beat up on self." - Michelle Chalfant "It's ok if other people are upset and disappointed if you're making a choice to protect yourself and your family." - Michelle Chalfant Resources StoryWorth Storyworth.com/adult $10 off your first purchase More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

I believe you can find peace no matter where you are in life, and I believe that because I have lived it! I spent the first part of my life living with anxiety and depression every day, and now I wake up most days in a state of peace...one that I would have never thought possible during my days of anxiety. And while there isn't a magic pill to find peace, the good news is that we have a choice and can take small steps every day to live in greater peace. Today, I want to share my step-by-step guide to cultivating peace with you — the exact practices I use to stay in peace in my life. These steps are practical, quick and easy to practice, but they make ALL the difference. Listen to discover: How the ego responds to emotions (and why that creates problems for us!) How our stories and assumptions get us out of balance How to honor and truly feel your emotions Why you are the only one who can take care of you The five steps you can do today to find greater peace Here are the five steps I share in the episode. Listen to find out exactly how to practice these, starting today! Slow down. Put your feet on the floor and ground. Breathe (slowly). Check in with yourself (body and emotions). Journal to process what you are feeling. Happiness is fleeting, but peace is a state of being that we can choose and sustain. I hope these five steps give you the tools you need to stay in peace and balance in any season of life. "One of the things that we do when we have an emotion that's rising up inside of us is we speed up. Because what's happening is the ego is trying to solve the "problem," which is the emotion that we're having." - Michelle Chalfant "When we sit in our healthy Adult Chair, we know emotions are not a bad thing. They are a beautiful gift." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Care/Of Takecareof.com Use code ADULT50 for 50% off your first order More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Food is such a beautiful part of life. It's a way of connecting with others and bringing enjoyment to your life. Unfortunately, we live in a world that makes it difficult to have a healthy relationship with food. We are met with the pressure to look a certain way, a lack of education about how to truly nourish our bodies and mixed messages that encourage both excess and deprivation — neither of which are healthy! The holidays take this struggle with food and body image to the next level. We might miss out on a celebration or connection with our family because we're filled with guilt and fear around food or we might lose control and later regret the way we lost sight of our goals for ourselves. It's a frustrating cycle that takes all the fun out of this beautiful season! So, in preparation for this season of feasting and celebration, I'm bringing back the lovely Jessi Jean, who is an eating psychology coach and such a grounding voice on how to have a healthy relationship with food. In this episode, Jessi talks about what a healthy relationship with food looks like, how to check in to make sure you have a balanced relationship with food and strategies for keeping that balance throughout the holidays (good news: pie is still on the menu!). Listen to discover: The importance of your mindset going into a holiday food scene and how to prep your mind Tangible strategies for feeling in control of your eating (while still celebrating!) Her "future pacing" hack for eating intentionally at the holidays How to respond to a "food pusher" and how to pull yourself out of a binge Questions to ask to check in on your relationship with food As Jessi says in this episode, it's not what you do with food that's the problem; it's how you feel about it. The important thing is to stay in touch with what's important to you, tune into all your senses and truly enjoy the experience of the holidays! "We can't control what our loved ones are going to say. We can't control what they are going to do. But we can control our reaction and our response." - Jessi Jean "Practice being unapologetic in your decisions with food." - Jessi Jean "You teach people how to respect you by the way that you respect yourself." - Jessi Jean "When you take something away, there's the thinking that there's a lack and that triggers something inside us." - Michelle Chalfant "Anything we do that is guilt and shame and fear-based...we take a good thing and make it toxic." - Jessi Jean Resources Episode #153: Binge Eating with Jessi Jean https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/153-binge-eating-with-jessi-jean/ Jessi Jean Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jessijeannn Jessi Jean The Dear Body Podcast https://risewithmeco.com/podcast/ Jessi Jean Food Freedom Program https://risewithmeco.com/ 30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

The holidays are almost upon us...and if holidays didn't already come with stressful situations, now we get to navigate the holidays in 2020! A contentious election with families split across political lines, delicately balancing celebrations with COVID-19 concerns and the general stress of this year have the potential to add chaos to an already busy time of year. But with The Adult Chair, you have the tools you need to stay calm, centered and balanced even in the middle of the holidays. No one can steal your joy or your power unless you let them, so in this episode, I'm giving you three essential steps to staying in your Adult Chair...all the way from the time the Thanksgiving turkey is carved until the clock strikes midnight on New Year's. Listen to discover: 3 steps to staying healthy during the holiday season How to refuel and recharge even on busy days The power of acceptance in dealing with difficult people or situations The difference between acceptance and agreement The importance of boundaries The key to having a healthy holiday season is to not lose yourself among the demands of others. This is why most of us struggle at the holidays — there is so much competing for our attention (plus, old, unhealthy patterns that we get pulled back into) that we lose connection with ourselves and we feel stressed, frazzled and lost. So, this year, if you only remember one thing, focus on staying connected to yourself. Remember who you are, and you can have a really lovely holiday season. "The moment that we lose our emotional balance and slip into story and assumption, we have lost our joy and our power and our happiness." - Michelle Chalfant "Have hope that [someone] might change some day, but drop your expectation of them to change." - Michelle Chalfant "The moment we can accept someone fully, the triggering becomes far less." - Michelle Chalfant Resources 30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/ The Adult Chair Membership (November Theme: Boundaries) https://theadultchair.com/membership/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

While our go-to image of mental health might be a couch in a therapist's office, the world is slowly changing (and I'm SO glad it is!). Don't get me wrong...I'm not anti-therapy (I'm a therapist myself), but I think it's only part of the equation. I believe we need more. I believe true healing must be holistic, looking at our experiences from every angle and using methods that heal body, mind and spirit. Dr. Nicole LePera is a kindred spirit when it comes to holistic healing, the creator behind one of my favorite Instagram accounts @the.holistic.psychologist and a self-healing guru that I am thrilled to finally bring on the show! Drawing from psychology, spirituality, the mind/body connection and more, Dr. LePera believes mental wellness is for everyone and we all have the power to heal ourselves with the right tools (can I get an amen?). In this episode, Dr. LePera shares her own story of transformation, her philosophy of self-healing and tools you can use to regulate your nervous system, figure out who you are and what you need and change limiting patterns in your life by turning in and tuning in. Listen to discover: The power of consciousness and being in the present moment The nervous system's role in healing The importance of breathwork The power of journaling to create consciousness and set intentions How to update and rewire programming Interdependence and how to be healthy in relationships Dr. LePera believes healing begins by going inside and connecting to self, and I couldn't agree more (it's ALL about awareness)! If you're on a journey of transformation, I hope this episode encourages you to look at your healing through a holistic lens and reminds you that you have the power (and tools) you need right where you are. "We need to understand the whole being in an integrative way, and I believe we need to expand the tools we're practicing outside of therapy as well." - Nicole LePera "You can be awake but still not be fully in the body and conscious about what you're doing." - Michelle Chalfant "There isn't one universal way to heal." - Nicole LePera "My goal is to empower within so we can cope with the ever-changing without." - Nicole LePera "With conscious effort, every single day, a little bit of something...we do find that people can change. We REALLY can change." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Dr. Nicole LePera Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/ Dr. Nicole LePera Website https://yourholisticpsychologist.com/ 30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Emotions are my love language, and I'm all about learning to really feel our emotions...every single one of them. But some emotions are easier for us to feel than others, and there's one that I find most people struggle with: anger. Anger often scares us because it's intense, and when it's unmanaged, it can lead people to do some pretty hurtful things. But anger isn't a bad thing (in fact we need it), and I think it's time we start talking about it a whole lot more. Our guest today, Dr. Christian Conte, is one of the world's leading experts on anger and emotional management. Dr. Conte has worked with top athletes, MMA fighters, people in maximum security prisons and some of the toughest people on the planet to help them integrate anger and other uncomfortable emotions in their lives, and he is full of wisdom to help us do the same thing. Not only do we explore how to manage our emotions in this episode, but we also talk about Dr. Conte's "Yield Theory," a powerful tool to cultivate more empathy for others, and ways we can use this empathy to create healthier relationships with anyone in our life. Listen to discover: How to see emotions as a signal of what we need in life and how to process them in healthy ways The two emotional systems we all have The power of extreme empathy and learning to see the world through other people's minds How to give each other presence vs. going into "fix it" mode The importance of non-attachment in shifting our perspectives and understanding our emotions Letting go of past hurt and anger and healing relationships Anger is like fire. It can be destructive if not contained, but it can also be the fuel that powers us to recognize what we need and move forward in life. I hope this episode will help you get more comfortable with anger and other intense emotions, learn how to integrate them in a healthy way and become a more whole person as a result! "Emotions come and go. Actions cannot be undone." - Dr. Christian Conte "Your brain is being impacted by everything you encounter." - Dr. Christian Conte "The reason people get stuck in emotion is we get stuck in the story about the emotion." - Michelle Chalfant "We need anger to fuel us and to make us move forward in life." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Dr. Christian Conte YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC47w9g7lESxzqefb5vWkN1Q Dr. Christian Conte Website http://www.drchristianconte.com/ Dr. Christian Conte Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Dr-Christian-Conte-905015942910441/timeline/ Dr. Christian Conte Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drchristianconte Dr. Christian Conte Twitter https://twitter.com/Dr_Conte Walking Through Anger - Dr. Christian Conte book https://www.amazon.com/Walking-Through-Anger-Confronting-Emotionally/dp/1683642589 The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ 30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

"Codependency." You finally have a word to describe why you've been feeling so overwhelmed and drained your whole life. And while I'm not the biggest fan of labels, sometimes having a term to describe your experience can be the thing that makes all the pieces fall into place and the light bulb go off. But having a "label" is only the first step. That's why one of the biggest questions I get asked, especially around codependency, is "So, what do I do about it?" Codependency is something I understand extremely well, because it was a constant companion for the first half of my life. I know how painful it can be and the feelings of regret that can arise when you discover you're codependent. But I also know codependency doesn't have to be the end of the story. You CAN change this pattern in your life, and in this episode, I'm telling you exactly how to do that. Listen to discover: What codependency is Signs of codependency What do next to start getting healthy 5 practical steps to transform codependency You didn't choose codependency, but starting today, you can choose to end it! Instead of feeling regret for time lost, look at today as the first day of the rest of your life. I'm here to help you take that next step into health and freedom! "If you're human, you have things to work on. Healthy people work on their stuff." - Michelle Chalfant "Nobody throws us in the victim chair. We choose it." - Michelle Chalfant "You have to take care of you and your life. It's no one else's job." - Michelle Chalfant "There's a fine line between being really caring and codependent, and when you're codependent, you can't see that line." - Michelle Chalfant Resources 30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/ The Adult Chair Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ Green Chef www.greenchef.com/adult80 $80 off your first box + free shipping More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We all know a bad relationship can wreak havoc on our lives, from our self-esteem to our goals and dreams. But most of us don't know that the effects of a bad relationship can linger long after the breakup. Yes, relationship PTSD is a real thing! PTSD (or post-traumatic stress disorder) is not just reserved for the traumas of war or the "big" obvious traumas. Anyone can suffer from PTSD, and if you have lived in a toxic or abusive relationship for any amount of time, you might find yourself suffering from fear, stress or hypervigilance in relationships even after you've "moved on." On today's show, I'm bringing back my friend, Tracy, who has shared in past episodes about her marriage with a narcissist, the process of leaving that relationship and beginning to date again. As she began exploring new relationships, she caught herself unconsciously bracing for the worst or expecting new partners to act like her ex. She had no idea she had PTSD until she and I talked about what was going on — and today, she is bravely and vulnerably sharing her experience to help shed light on this important topic. Listen to discover: The difference between "little t" trauma and "big T" trauma and why both can create PTSD What PTSD is The signs of relationship PTSD The role of the body in healing PTSD Practical tools and tips to overcome PTSD Not only does Tracy help us understand what relationship PTSD is and how it can show up in our lives, but she also shares her journey of healing and what she has used to make AMAZING and fast progress in overcoming PTSD. This episode is packed with tools from The Adult Chair that will help you heal stored trauma and move forward into a brighter and happier relationship future. "When you have fear about a past event that has already happened, that's the biggest sign to me." - Tracy "With trauma we're stuck in the past, and the body doesn't understand that we've moved forward in time." - Michelle Chalfant "Instead of being who we really are, we become that person who walks on eggshells to not upset them and we lose ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant "I had to be ok with myself outside of that relationship." - Tracy "The right person will wait for you." - Michelle Resources Episode #179: I'm in a Relationship with a Narcissist https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/179/ Episode #199: Dating from The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/199/ I'm Ok Course https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/CnJRzrVL/checkout 30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/ The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

It's hard to find words for the times we are living in today. Interesting, scary, stressful, angry, strange...it feels like one minute we can have it together and the next be hijacked by anxiety. There is so much coming at us, so much to navigate and so much to sort through as we try to figure out what is true and what is not. It's A LOT for any body and brain. Though our minds are easily distracted and swayed, the good news is that we CAN live in peace and balance even in uncertain times...and we all have a choice in the matter. In this episode, I chat with Shann Vander Leek, host of the Anxiety Slayer podcast and an expert on how to calm anxiety no matter what is going on. She explains why we're all feeling so anxious right now and gives us hands-on steps to stop anxiety in its tracks...everything from music to getting outside to a simple gratitude practice. Listen to discover: Practical ways to combat anxiety even in times of uncertainty How to get grounded quickly How to move energy in the body The power of "Joy Spotting" Powerful tools like high vibe music, supplements and small daily practices that lead to big changes Whether you're feeling anxious from the collective events of the world or walking through a tough situation in your personal life, these practices are quick, easy and free and here to help you get back to peace...from within. "It's really best to take things day by day and hour by hour to stay as calm as you can during these uncertain times." - Shann Vander Leek "The faster the mind goes, the more out our body we are and the more anxious we are." - Michelle Chalfant "You cannot be joyful if you're in judgment." - Shann Vander Leek "Every single thing to help us with anxiety is an internal job. It's about a choice that we have to make." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Anxiety Slayer https://www.anxietyslayer.com/ EFT Resource https://www.anxietyslayer.com/eft Joy Spotting Gift https://transformationgoddess.com/joy-spotting-gift/ Episode #142: All Things Anxiety with Shann Vander Leek https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/142-all-things-anxiety-with-shann-vander-leek/ Coffee Jazz YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNQ9q1dUxUU Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer (book) https://www.amazon.com/Braiding-Sweetgrass-Indigenous-Scientific-Knowledge/dp/1571313567 The Magnesium Miracle by Carolyn Dean (book) https://www.amazon.com/Magnesium-Miracle-Revised-Updated/dp/034549458X The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ 30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

From the outside — and to herself — Tonya looked like she had it all together...until one day, all the "spinning plates" fell and she collapsed. That moment led Tonya to a therapist's office where she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety that had been simmering under the surface unnoticed for years. She found herself battling suicidal thoughts with stress manifesting in her body in many different ways. Determined to not let it be the end of her story, Tonya began searching for a quick way to transform her depression on her own. She prayed for a "knife" that could quickly cut through her depression and was led to The Adult Chair podcast, which allowed her to completely transform in a matter of months. In this episode, Tonya shares her inspirational story of how she used the tools in The Adult Chair to completely shift her outlook on life and get healthy FAST (and for free!). Listen to discover: How Tonya cut through depression in less than a year The tools that were most effective in working through depression The importance of self-talk and shifting skewed thought patterns Her journey of knowing who she is and learning to love herself Today, Tonya is happy, healthy and on her way to becoming an Adult Chair Certified Coach. I'm so excited to see the way she helps others transform through her own experience of walking through and transforming depression and anxiety. "The Adult Chair was my knife to cut through layers and layers of trauma." - Tonya "One of the biggest things is to be a story buster. Something happens and we interpret it negatively, and that leads to anxiety." - Michelle Chalfant "Accepting it doesn't mean you like it or you're never wanting change. Acceptance releases us from pushing against." - Michelle Chalfant "The same walls we use to protect our image are the same ones that imprison us in our pain." - Tonya Resources The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ 30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Do you ever catch yourself setting a goal…and then doing the exact opposite? Maybe it's deciding to get in shape…and then reaching for the chocolate cake. Maybe it's getting into a healthy relationship…and then cheating on your partner. We can be our own worst enemy sometimes, sabotaging ourselves and our goals. But like anything else, self-sabotage is just a part of us… and it's actually an easy one to transform! In this episode, I'm breaking down how to get into your Adult Chair and find your self-sabotaging parts. I share a client example from one of my sessions and walk you through a process to help you find your own self-sabotaging parts so you can end it for good!! Listen to discover: What self-sabotage is Why we might self-sabotage How to look at self-sabotage through the lens of each Chair How to use parts work to stop self-sabotage (using a client example) I really believe you can live the life you dream of when you find and shift the subconscious parts that keep you from feeling whole and complete. That's the power of this work...for self-sabotage or any other part! "The Adult decisions are solid, grounded, they are coming from this present place and they are clear." - Michelle Chalfant "What we want to do, regardless of what is going on in your life, is we want to get in touch with the part that is disturbing or disrupting our goal." - Michelle Chalfant "The goal is to bring your Adult Chair more present in your life. You're grounding more of those parts when you can merge them back into your Adult self." - Michelle Chalfant "You really can live the life you want instead of a life run by the old subconscious programs in your Adolescent Chair. Reach for the connection to these parts, and you can transform self-sabotage and anything else that's in the way of you feeling whole and complete." - Michelle Chalfant Resources The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Closed Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ Care/Of http://www.takecareof.com Use code ADULT50 for 50% off your first order More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Buckle your seat belts, because our guest today is today is about to take you on a trip deep into the human mind — and help you understand how to naturally treat everything from depression to ADHD. I first heard about Dr. David Rabin when my husband gave me an Apollo Neuro, a wearable sensory device that Dr. Rabin invented to naturally calm the nervous system. After digging more into his work, I knew I had to invite Dr. Rabin on the show — and wow, he might be the most genius person I've ever talked to! Dr. David Rabin is a neuroscientist and psychiatrist who specializes in treating anxiety, depression, stress, PTSD and trauma using traditional and alternative methods like the Apollo Neuro and therapeutic psychedelics, which are showing breakthrough results in clinical trials around the country. With a deep understanding of how the mind works, Dr. Rabin breaks down ideas like consciousness, the subconscious mind, trauma and the stress response in an easy-to-understand way. He helps us understand WHY our minds function like they do and gives us simple techniques for change — both medicinal and non-medicinal. Listen to discover: Breakthrough medicines for depression, anxiety and more that are currently going through clinical trials Common misconceptions around psychedelic medicines What "default mode" is and how to change your neural pathways (even without psychedelics) The fastest non-psychedelic way to rewire the brain The impact of chronic stress on the body (and how stress recovery works) The revolutionary Apollo Neuro sensory device changing the game for stress, ADHD and more Science today is SO exciting to me. These breakthrough, natural treatments are rooted in a deep understanding of neuroscience and human consciousness and have so much potential for healing. Dr. Rabin is a WEALTH of knowledge, and I hope you enjoy learning from him as much as I did! "The real meaning of the term [psychedelic] is 'mind manifesting.'" - Dr. David Rabin "It makes all of that content that's stored beneath our awareness all of the sudden accessible. We can start to look at that content in an unbiased, non-judgmental way and recognize that this is all part of us that we're ignoring or leaving behind in the background." - Dr. David Rabin "The process of self-healing is to accept and love and be grateful for all the parts of ourselves, even and especially the parts that we've been told are not acceptable or not welcome." - Dr. David Rabin "We have the ability to make ourselves sick by changing the way we describe ourselves and the way we think about ourselves and the way we think about our lives. Similarly, we have an equal ability to make ourselves or help ourselves heal by changing the way we think about ourselves as agents of healing." - Dr. David Rabin Resources Apollo Neuro (15% for Adult Chair fans!) https://apolloneuro.com/adultchair Dr. David Rabin Website https://www.drdave.io/ Dr. David Rabin Twitter https://twitter.com/daverabin Dr. David Rabin Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drdavidrabin/ Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS) https://maps.org/ ProjectCBD https://www.projectcbd.org/ Ketamine Psychotherapy Associates https://ketaminepsychotherapyassociates.com/ The Third Wave https://thethirdwave.co/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

In 1974 when Sharon Salzberg discovered meditation, there were no meditation apps, mainstream teachers, corporate retreats or scientific studies backing the practice like we have today. Largely considered a Buddhist practice, meditation was relegated to Eastern thought and spiritual gurus. But for Sharon, who grew up in the hustle and bustle of New York City and went through a number of traumatic experiences as a child, it was a lifesaver — a tool that showed her she could take ownership of her life and transform her own suffering. After studying in India for several years, Sharon became a meditation teacher and one of the first people to bring meditation into the mainstream, demystifying the practice with her secular and modern approach. I have followed her for years, and I am THRILLED to feature her in this episode — one that is so packed full of wisdom from this master teacher. In this episode, Sharon shares what meditation is and what it isn't and the many wonderful things meditation can cultivate in our lives, including self-compassion, healthy ways to process pain, the ability to fall and get back up again and a profound connection with ourselves and others. She also helps to break down how to get started meditating and why everyone should be doing it. Listen to discover: The heart of the practice, which might surprise you How meditation is a life exercise and skills training Why there is no failing in meditation The difference between a mindfulness practice and a loving kindness meditation What causes suffering Navigating uncertainty, fear and anger during these challenging times And SOO much more! Whether you've meditated for years or are considering starting, I know you will love the countless nuggets of wisdom in this episode. And if you're on the fence, I encourage you to take Sharon's advice and just try it! Don't give up after 10 minutes or look just at the practice time itself, but instead look at your life and how differently you respond to yourself, your relationships and life's challenges. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised! "We're not trying to blank out or drop parts of our experience. We're cultivating the ability to be with our experience differently. We don't have to take every thought to heart. We don't have to follow every thought into action. We don't have to hold onto an emotion as if it's the only thing we will ever feel." - Sharon Salzberg "It's the practice of letting go and being able to begin again." - Sharon Salzberg "We don't all share the same degree of pain. But we all share vulnerability." - Sharon Salzberg "You're not supposed to stop your thoughts; you're supposed to witness." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Sharon Salzberg Website https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/ Sharon Salzberg Facebook https://www.facebook.com/SharonSalzberg/ Sharon Salzberg Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sharonsalzberg/ Real Change (New Book) https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/realchange/ Real Happiness (Sharon Salzberg Book) https://www.amazon.com/Real-Happiness-Meditation-28-Day-Program/dp/0761159258 Faith (Sharon Salzberg Book) https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AG0BRCE/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i3 Inner Child Resource (contains 2 free meditations) https://theadultchair.com/innerchild Free Meditations https://theadultchair.com/meditations/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We're all human and we all make mistakes. Unfortunately, sometimes those mistakes hurt people we love and can even create distance or damage in our most important relationships. When a relationship is suffering, there's nothing we want more than to heal and restore it, but many of us don't know where to begin. We might have our own feelings of guilt and shame to overcome or believe the other person never wants to see or talk to us again. But as long as we are alive, there is hope of change! Relationships can and do heal all the time, and you have the power to repair the damage done and move forward in an even stronger relationship than before. In this episode, I'm giving you eight simple steps for healing and transforming the relationships in your life. In it, I give the example of one of my clients who was working to repair her relationship with her kids, but the advice here applies to EVERY relationship...spouse, friend, family, coworker, you name it! Listen to discover: Eight steps to healing a broken relationship How to start the process of repairing the relationship if there's been a disconnect What a true apology looks like How to change the relationship through actions instead of words How to forgive yourself — the most important step no matter what happens in the relationship If you're living on this planet, chances are you've hurt someone and want to know how to make it right. Tune in to discover a practical step-by-step guide to begin the process of healing...for yourself and others! "If someone is willing to repair a relationship and put the time and effort into repairing the relationship, I always have hope." - Michelle Chalfant "Forgiveness allows us to get unstuck and to move on for ourselves. It's freedom!" - Michelle Chalfant "There is great power in accepting what is...if you are not accepting where things are, you are in resistance of truth." - Michelle Chalfant "When you stay with just today in the present, this is where all things can change...including, and most importantly, your perception of yourself." - Michelle Chalfant Resources The Self Series https://theadultchair.com/self More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

"Help! I think I've ruined my kids' lives!" I can't tell you how many times I've heard this from clients, listeners and even my own inner critic. No one gets a trial run at parenting, which leads to a lot of self-doubt among parents. We're all learning as we go, and it's easy to wonder if we're doing it right or if we should just go ahead and start a therapy fund for our kids to work through the issues we created. Well, this episode is here to help you put your fears to rest and help you become the healthiest (NOT perfect) parent you can be. I'm breaking down my seven tips for healthy parenting from your Adult Chair (hint: they're more about you than your kids) and hopefully providing a little reassurance that you're normal and no, you haven't ruined your kids lives (wait until you hear the not-so-proud parenting moments I share!). Listen to discover: What a parent's job actually is Seven steps to become a healthy parent Why there's no such thing as perfect Finding compassion for yourself and your kids How to handle it when your kids trigger you Setting boundaries and how to respond when your child makes a mistake Whether you feel like you've screwed up or you're just starting out and trying to get it right, I promise that it's never too late. When YOU become healthy and live in your Adult Chair, your kids will see it modeled and become healthy too. Check out this episode to get simple, practical tips you can put into action to change the way you parent today. "Humans learn from experience far more than they learn from words." - Michelle Chalfant "Our job as parents or caregivers of these beautiful little beings is to be guard rails for them...kids are supposed to make mistakes while in the loving protection of your home." - Michelle Chalfant "You can't change something without owning where you are and accepting it." - Michelle Chalfant "Boundaries help our kids feel safe." - Michelle Chalfant "Don't keep your kid on a one-way expressway. Let them be who they came here to become." - Michelle Chalfant Resources The Adult Chair Membership (August Theme: Acceptance) https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Dr. Shefali (Conscious Parenting) https://drshefali.com/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Before studying the Law of Attraction, Christy "had it all" but still felt really unhappy and unfulfilled. As she began seeking, she discovered meditation and eventually the Law of Attraction, both of which led her to recognize how her inner dialog was creating unhappiness in her life. As she worked to shift her own life, she began to realize the power of her thoughts in creating her reality and that she felt called to share this gift with others. Since then, Christy has become a life coach, teacher and Law of Attraction guru, and I'm thrilled to share her wisdom with you on today's podcast. In this episode, Christy not only shares the principles behind the Law of Attraction but also how and why it works at an energetic level. She explains the way that common thought patterns or words we use with ourselves are keeping us from getting what we want and how to change those patterns to attract what we are seeking. If you are feeling stuck and not manifesting the life you dream of or if you're interested in learning more about creation and how to transform your life, this is the episode for you! Listen to discover: What the law of attraction is and why it works How we work as receivers, containers and senders of energy The ways we send out energy through what we say, think, expect, feel and act Why you might be experiencing blocks in manifestation The role of guilt in our lives and the power of forgiveness Three questions we need to ask to pivot our lives "I could actually choose my thoughts to be different even though 'what it is' is the way it is." - Christy Whitman "If you feel resistance of any kind, that's energy." - Christy Whitman "When you say words that are based in lack, anything that starts in lack is going to end in lack. When you're starting with words that are words of abundance...then that whole creation starts from there." - Christy Whitman "Most of us walk around in this very unconscious state with these automatic thoughts just going, going, going. We're not even aware. So, slowing down and becoming aware is so key." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Christy Whitman Website https://www.christywhitman.com/ Christy Whitman Free Resource https://www.watchyourwords.com/ Christy Whitman Facebook https://www.facebook.com/christywhitmaninternational/ Christy Whitman Instagram https://www.instagram.com/christywhitman1 14 Days to Peace and Balance https://theadultchair.com/14days More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

The Adult Chair is a powerful model for healing our wounds and becoming more empowered in our lives...but it has the power to change more than just ourselves. When we have the tools to navigate life's challenges and respond differently to life, it can change everything around us! In today's episode, I'm interviewing my friend April, who is sharing how The Adult Chair model helped her walk through one of the most difficult seasons of her life, first transforming her marriage that was in trouble and then almost losing her son in a terrible car accident. Through these uncertain and tragic situations, April found she was able to shift her perspective and not just change her response to life's challenges but also transform her marriage and family. She shares how the model was easy to understand and applicable enough for her and her husband to use together and the surprising peace and clarity she had when she got the call no parent wants to get. April's practice of busting stories, clinging to truth and being present through life's challenges is hope and inspiration for all of us and a real-life example of how The Adult Chair can be used to help us transform whatever life throws our way. Listen to discover: How The Adult Chair helped April and her husband get the breakthrough they were looking for in their marriage How busting stories and assumptions and connecting with their needs has helped April and her husband cultivate a new connection they didn't think possible How April stayed grounded and in the moment even in the middle of shock and tragedy Avoiding the "what ifs" and worst-case scenario thoughts of the Adolescent How we can teach our children to live in their Adult Chair by modeling it as parents The power of owning our needs and learning to receive "It's not uncommon for us both to make up stories and assumptions in our marriage. It's very easy to make up stories about each other (like) 'Oh, he's too busy; he doesn't care.' Or on the other hand, he's thinking 'I'm not worthy; she's not attracted to me.' When really the truth is, I'm exhausted or he's exhausted." - April "Having a true need and being able to share that with another is such a beautiful, deep way to connect." - Michelle Chalfant "It's important that we remember it doesn't come naturally right away...but I have found that tools over time do develop." - April "Your brain wasn't able to go back to the old you, which might have gotten freaked out and panicky, because the neural pathways are very much more now 'Let me go back to fact and truth.'" - Michelle Chalfant Resources Episode #210: Improving and Deepening the Connection with Your Partner https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/210/ Episode #146: Healthy Relationships https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/146-healthy-relationships/ Episode #148: Healthy Relationships Part 2 https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/148-healthy-relationships-part-2/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Are you ready to shift out of procrastination, perfectionism and people pleasing? I can't imagine anyone that doesn't have their hand up! In today's show, we are diving into The Adult Chair model and looking deeper at our "parts." Though this episode focuses on some of these common parts that I hear many of my clients talk about, it really is a crash course in what parts work is and how to start working with your parts on your own, even without therapy! Things like procrastination, people pleasing and perfectionism are inner unconscious parts that can run the show until we bring them into awareness to transform. Today I am going to show you how to use The Adult Chair model to find and transform your inner parts that are driving you to do things or act in ways that are limiting you. Listen to discover: What parts work is How to identify the dominant parts you want to shift A step-by-step process for finding these parts, dialoguing with them and transforming them A real-life example from a client so you can see this process in action This is full of practical tools and examples that will empower you to work with any part that is causing problems and transform it using the power of your Adult. As always, I have included easy-to-use steps for you to work with this concept today and begin your transformation right away. Get ready for shifts with today's episode! "If you want to make changes in your outer world, you have to make changes in your inner world." - Michelle Chalfant "When people say, "I am overwhelmed," "I am a perfectionist," or "I am a procrastinator," that's not true...it's not who you are." - Michelle Chalfant "Awareness is key to our transformation. If we don't know that we're doing something or showing up in a certain way, how the heck are we supposed to change it?" - Michelle Chalfant "Do not guess and think you know why or what these parts are going to say or why they're feeling what they're feeling. Go inside of you and ask that part these very pointed questions." - Michelle Chalfant Resources The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/new-york/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Why do people cringe at the suggestion of setting a boundary? So many people respond with, "I don't like confrontation" when I suggest a boundary. Setting boundaries is tough to do if we were not modeled healthy boundaries growing up. Even if we came from a pretty healthy family, few people grew up with healthy boundary modeling. In today's show, I talk about what boundaries are, how to set them, examples of healthy versus unhealthy boundaries and the four keys to setting healthy boundaries. Listen to discover: The difference between a boundary and a confrontation Examples of healthy and unhealthy boundaries Four steps to setting boundaries What to do when boundaries backfire What boundaries are not and what to do if you are in a toxic relationship Boundaries are rooted in our sense of self and come from our internal guidance system. They are a necessary part of our lives and a key to healthy relationships and learning how to speak up for what we want. This show is filled with tools and tips to help you to start better taking care of yourself, learning how to set a simple request and teaching other people how to treat you. "When I hear people say 'It's not important that I speak up for myself,' or 'I don't need to set a boundary,' I hear 'I'm not that important.'" - Michelle Chalfant "A boundary is letting another person know what is ok with you and what is not ok with you." - Michelle Chalfant "If you don't know who you are, what in the world are you defending or setting a boundary against?" - Michelle Chalfant "Get crystal clear with your wants, your needs and your desires and speak them." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Episode #212: Boundaries Crash Course https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/212/ Episode #193: Boundaries in Relationships with Nedra Glover Tawwab https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/193/ Episode #184: Boundaries, Empowerment and Finding Truth https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/184/ Episode #174: Building Self-Esteem https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/174-building-self-esteem/ Episode #173: Am I in a Toxic Relationship? https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/173-am-i-in-a-toxic-relationship/ Episode #160: Boundaries and Defenses https://theadultchair.com/podcast/160 Episode #80: How Do I Feel My Emotions? https://theadultchair.com/podcast/80 Episode #26: Boundaries vs. Confrontation https://theadultchair.com/podcast/26 Self Series theadultchair.com/self Care/Of https://takecareof.com/ Use code ADULT50 for 50% off your first order More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

By nature, all of us have the Child, Adolescent and Adult parts of ourselves...but these parts can look very different depending on our personality and life experience. Through the lens of the Enneagram, we can understand more about our personality and the ways we show up in stress and in health, and in this episode, Enneagram coach Ramona Reid breaks down how the wounds we received as a child affect our personality later in life. Our Enneagram type is often influenced by the message we did not hear as a child, and we form a personality or mask to make up for that wound. This might look like trying to be good and perfect, getting big and strong or trying to keep the peace with everyone around us, but it's always an ego response. Ramona does a beautiful job tying the Enneagram into The Adult Chair model and helping each of us understand what our Child, Adolescent and Adult might look like based on our type. Listen to discover: The three Enneagram centers and the nine types The message each type didn't receive as a child and the wounding each type carries The mask each type creates to cover that wounding What the core essence (healthy Adult) looks like for each type How to recognize our triggers and move towards presence This show was as cool as it was informative! Even if you have never heard of the Enneagram, you will benefit from listening as it will deepen your understanding of your wounding and how you are showing up in the world. If you want to listen to the other shows that Ramona has been on to deepen your understanding of the Enneagram, see the show notes below. They are all brilliant shows! "The point is not to never be triggered again. It's to understand that triggers are human and they're mine...I want to learn how to encounter them with more accountability and integrity and love for myself and my inner child." - Ramona Reid "Everyone's just sort of doing the best they can, and then we internalize that. When we're little, we think, 'This is about me,' and we create separation from our essence." - Ramona Reid "As children, we are sponges and absorb everything around us...and it becomes ours. It's why you've got to observe everything and pay attention to what's going on inside of you." - Michelle Chalfant "The work from my perspective is getting in touch with what's actually going on. Notice where our minds are going, where our hearts are going, out of presence...when we're able to be present, that's when our core essential qualities will show up." - Ramona Reid Resources Ramona Reid Website http://www.mynashvillecenter.com Ramona Reid Radio Show http://www.holisticrevolution.com Episode #51: Find Your Authentic Self in the Heart of Your Enneagram https://theadultchair.com/podcast/51 Episode #114: Deepening The Adult Chair Using the Wisdom of the Enneagram https://theadultchair.com/podcast/114 Episode #205: Stress and Your Enneagram Type https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/205/ Book: Sacred Enneagram - Christopher L. Heuertz https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Enneagram-Finding-Unique-Spiritual/dp/0310348277/ The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July! https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Use code FREEMEMBER Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/ Self Series theadultchair.com/self The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/new-york/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We can never have enough self-esteem. So many of us didn't have healthy self-esteem role models growing up, so we are embarking on this journey now. The good news is that it's never too late to learn to love yourself...and it's a life-long journey, so you will have plenty of people along the path with you! Using The Adult Chair, building healthy self-esteem is not only possible, but it can also happen quickly. In this episode, I'm giving you practical steps for changing how you view and speak to yourself and easy practices you can use to build self-esteem every day. Listen to discover: Self-discovery questions you can ask yourself to see how healthy your self-esteem is Why creating a practice of building self-esteem is so important The four steps to building self-esteem How to control your thoughts and shift your self-talk How to work with your parts and bust the stories that keep you from loving yourself I will always be working on my self-esteem because I believe it's something we can always have more of! With the help of The Adult Chair model, we can live our lives to the fullest and create happiness we never thought possible. Enjoy your journey of building up your new sense of self and empowerment in your Adult Chair! "Our thoughts drive our emotions up or down. We need to raise our awareness to our thoughts and watch what's coming in and out of our mouths or in and out of our brains."- Michelle Chalfant "These parts are not blocking our progress. They simply want and need our attention." - Michelle Chalfant "If the story you're telling yourself makes you miserable...you have the power to change it." - Michelle Chalfant Resources 5 -Minute Self-Love Meditation https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/5-minute-self-love-meditation/ Episode #84: Raising Self-Esteem https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/84-raising-self-esteem/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/new-york/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July! https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Use code FREEMEMBER Self Series theadultchair.com/self Green Chef https://www.greenchef.com/adult80 $80 off your first month + free shipping More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Relationships with narcissists are insidious. They begin one way, and over time, very slowly and covertly, they change and become poisonous. We wake up one day and wonder what we did wrong and how we got here. We blame ourselves and can even feel embarrassed to tell others. In today's very vulnerable show, Tracy shares her story of being married to a narcissist, how his toxic behaviors subtly increased over time and how it affected her sense of self. After marrying who she thought was a wonderful man, her life drastically changed and she began doubting herself. She fell into a depression, lived with anxiety and lost her sense of who she was. Tracy walks us through her story of waking up to the abuse and getting out of the relationship. We offer advice for others who are in these types of relationships, including what you can do and how to begin to build yourself back up and find your true self again. Listen to discover: How quickly relationships with a narcissist can shift and how confusing they can be Why subtle abuse is so easy to miss How narcissists whittle down self-esteem and create self-doubt Steps you can take to protect yourself or leave if needed How refinding yourself after a difficult relationship can be fun and exciting The importance of community and friends who can give you a reality check when you're feeling self-doubt "You think, 'I don't have negative feelings about myself,' but something in my body was telling me I wasn't good." - Tracy "I saw what his father was doing to him, but I didn't see what he was doing to me." - Tracy "He chopped away your belief in yourself, the self-love you had, your self-worth." - Michelle Chalfant "You deserve to be happy. You are a good person. If you feel good about what you're doing and you're confident in who you are, be aware of that and remind yourself of that and step out of the picture for a while." - Tracy Resources 5 -Minute Self-Love Meditation https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/5-minute-self-love-meditation/ Episode #84: Raising Self-Esteem https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/84-raising-self-esteem/ Episode #173: Am I in a Toxic Relationship? https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/173-am-i-in-a-toxic-relationship/ Episode #174: Building Self-Esteem https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/174-building-self-esteem/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/new-york/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July! https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Use code FREEMEMBER The Self Series theadultchair.com/self BOMBAS https://bombas.com/adult 20% off your first order More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We all have different ways that we connect and bond with others, and in psychology, we call this "attachment style." For example, some of us are anxious in our bonds, always making sure the relationship is ok. Others of us pull away when we feel we are getting too close with someone else. Our attachment style is HIGHLY influenced by our childhood and how we bonded with our caregivers growing up, and it's so important to understanding how we interact in our adult relationships! In this episode, I interview the incredible Silvy Khoucasian, a relationship coach and attachment style expert, about the different attachment styles and how we bond in relationships. Understanding your attachment style can be one of the most helpful tools for understanding how you show up in relationships and seeing the patterns that you might otherwise be tempted to blame on your partner. Listen to discover: What attachment theory is and why it matters The four attachment styles How the different attachment styles interact with each other How your attachment style creates patterns in your relationships today How to set boundaries for each attachment style Repairing shame and moving forward in relationships It was such a joy having Silvy on the show as she breaks down attachment theory in a simple, easy-to-understand way. As Silvy reminds us, our attachment style is not our fault, and it's important to be gentle with ourselves as we learn and heal these patterns. Everyone is deserving of love and capable of having secure, healthy relationships no matter their attachment style — but it's up to us to do the work! I hope this episode helps you on your journey towards healthier relationships. "Along that journey, it's important to start reflecting on, 'What are some ways I can start to bring healthier behaviors into the picture?' or at least, 'How can I communicate the tendencies that push people away or block connection?'" - Silvy Khoucasian "It doesn't matter who we pair with as long as both people are willing to see their unhealthy behaviors...it takes both people being really honest about those things." - Silvy Khoucasian "Starting to pay attention to whether our boundaries are serving us or if they're actually getting in the way of the kinds of relationships we want can be really helpful and can be paired with certain attachment styles really well." - Silvy Khoucasian "As you do the thing that's going to help you heal it, it's going to be uncomfortable." - Silvy Khoucasian "You have to know yourself, then you have to be able to tell your partner who you are and what you need. We react instead of expressing, 'Hey, this is what I need.'" - Michelle Chalfant Resources Silvy Khoucasian on Instagram @SilvyKhoucasian Boundaries Offering https://bryanreves.com/boundaries-silvy/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/new-york/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July! https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Use code FREEMEMBER More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com