The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

I believe that we are born as beautiful, pure beings, connected to God/Source and full of love – our true selves. Though we never lose our true essence, throughout our lives, we have experiences that wound us and we put on masks to feel safe in this world. This creates a sort of "false self" that covers up who we were really meant to be. But I believe all of us can reconnect with our true selves – our Adult Chairs – and in doing so, live more authentic, peaceful and intuitive lives. This is the heart of The Adult Chair® model and a conscious choice we must make every day! In this episode, I'm sharing some practical ways you can live connected to your true self, including how to notice and work with the challenges that try to disconnect you from who you really are. Listen to discover: ● What connection to self means ● Why staying connected to the true self is so important ● The things that disconnect us from our true self ● The power of feeling our emotions and working with triggers ● The way our daily choices impact our connection with self As I share in a personal story in this show, there will always be someone or something that triggers us, distracts us or tries to pull us away from ourselves. But staying connected to self is a choice! We can decide that no one will take us away from us. And as always, remember this is a journey, and each moment of challenge is an opportunity to notice where you are on your path and how far you've come. You've got this! There really is no better way to live. "At the root of The Adult Chair is our true self." - Michelle Chalfant "Your true self is underneath all these masks, these limiting beliefs." - Michelle Chalfant "When I'm connected to my true self, I'm connected to my inner compass." - Michelle Chalfant "When I'm connected with my true self, I have a connection with God, Source." - Michelle Chalfant "Every time that you sit and work with these triggers and you don't let them take you down, every time you work with them, that trigger begins to lose its power." - Michelle Chalfant "When we're triggered, there's something in it for us." - Michelle Chalfant "A trigger is something we carry with us." - Michelle Chalfant "Holding that connection to the true self, which means staying in our Adult Chair no matter what, is the healthiest place for us to live. It's the most authentic place to live. And it takes work." - Michelle Chalfant "I am not allowing anybody to disconnect me from myself." - Michelle Chalfant "The world reflects where we are. The world is our mirror." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Summer 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close Soon! https://theadultchair.com/certification Episode #364: How To Work With Triggers and Parts https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/364/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Guess what? I got triggered this week. AND I was able to work through the trigger and meet the most beautiful younger part of myself using the tools in The Adult Chair® model. In this episode, I'm letting you guys in on exactly what happened and walking you step-by-step through how I transformed this trigger — and how you can use the exact same process the next time you're triggered. It all started with a relatively simple interaction with my husband, Graham. Though we didn't have a fight, this interaction brought up feelings of anger and rage in me. As I dug into those feelings, I found that a 10-year-old part of me was feeling really scared and unsafe because the interaction reminded her of an unpredictable situation from childhood. And what happened afterwards was SO POWERFUL that it still gives me chills! Listen to discover: ● What triggers are and where they come from ● Why triggers are a HUGE opportunity to heal ● The step-by-step trigger tool I used to transform my trigger ● A powerful script for working with younger, scared parts of self ● How working with triggers can lead to healthier relationships The really cool thing is that instead of letting my anger create a fight between Graham and me, we were able to have a really authentic conversation about what happened, and I left feeling seen and supported. This is the power of doing our work! I wanted to openly share this story to not only equip you with the tools to work through a trigger, but also to show you that the goal isn't to "arrive" or "stop getting triggered." The goal is to do the lifelong work of turning inward to get to know and transform ourselves so we can connect more deeply with self and others. "There are tools within this model that help us to heal and transform whatever is going on in our lives." - Michelle Chalfant "We have so many parts that are within us. So, when you get triggered, remember, it's an unconscious belief that's rising up inside of [you]." - Michelle Chalfant "Triggers are an opportunity for us to see what is unknown within ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant "Oftentimes anger and rage...it's a defense against a more vulnerable emotion." - Michelle Chalfant "Our emotions oftentimes are stacked." - Michelle Chalfant "Nobody can make you feel anything. How you feel is already within you." - Michelle Chalfant "Working with triggers is such an important thing to help us to heal and live with emotional balance…Working with triggers is a way to stay connected to yourself." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Summer 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Now Open! https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Are you ready to have all your relationship questions answered by not one, but two couples therapists…who also happen to be a couple themselves? Linda and Charlie Bloom are psychotherapists who have been married to each other for more than 50 years, and in this week's episode, they're spilling all their secrets about how to have healthy relationships – secrets from both their clinical training and their personal experience of building their marriage. This discussion is like getting weeks of counseling in just one hour! We cover topics like: the role of self-worth in a relationship, how our partners can help us heal childhood wounding, the importance of asking for what we want and need, how to navigate conflict in a healthy way, what to do and not do during an argument, how to repair broken trust, what to do when your partner doesn't want to work on the relationship and the underutilized habits that create great relationships. Though this is PACKED with information, we don't just talk about concepts but give you practical advice on what to do in these situations, from how to hack your brain for more productive conflict to how to appeal to your partner's self-interest to get the relationship you want. Listen to discover: ● The surprising connection between self-worth and healthy relationships ● Why some people have trouble receiving love ● The importance of asking for what we want and need ● Why we marry people like our parents ● How to have healthy conflict in your relationship ● The three words you should never say in an argument ● How to get out of threat and fear states during conflict ● What "committed listening" is and how to show up with more presence ● What is required to rebuild trust when it's been broken ● What to do if your partner doesn't want to work on the relationship ● The most underutilized practice in relationships My favorite takeaway from this episode is that the key to having better relationships is believing it is possible. It's so easy to get caught up in frustration, resentment and conflict and give up on a relationship that has potential (did you know most couples divorce without ever seeking therapy?). But we have so much power in our hands to change the dance of our relationships and make them work. Though it takes two to tango and some relationships do end, Linda and Charlie give hopeful advice that will help you fight for your relationship instead of fighting with your partner – grounded in their own story of healing conflict and growing their love year after year. "We can never give any more acceptance and appreciation to somebody else than we can give to ourselves...We can't give that experience of worth to another person if we haven't internalized it within ourselves." - Charlie Bloom "We learn to love ourselves through relationships." - Charlie Bloom "Don't expect [your partner] to know what's going on with you emotionally. That's your job to share with them what you need." - Michelle Chalfant "When I grew some courage and started to ask [for what I wanted], I got loved in the way I wanted to be loved." - Linda Bloom "There's a part of us that I think is innate within all human beings to want to feel whole, to want to feel integrated." - Charlie Bloom "If we can appeal to the other person's self-interest, that sometimes helps them to get over their conflict phobia." - Linda Bloom "One-hundred percent of the time, defensiveness is activated by fear." - Charlie Bloom "Starting a conversation or an argument with 'you, you, you,' I call it throwing the shield up...That's not a conversation. It's defensiveness." - Michelle Chalfant "A lot of people, they think good communication is required for a good relationship. But they think about speaking. They don't think about the other side and how important the listening is." - Linda Bloom "One of the statistics that breaks my heart is that most people who get divorced never go to one couple's counseling session." - Linda Bloom "If you can respect your partner and what their path is, then all is well." - Michelle Chalfant "Of course we're going to have differences, but they don't have to turn into arguments and conflict." - Linda Bloom LINKS & RESOURCES Linda and Charlie Bloom Website https://bloomwork.com/ "An End to Arguing" (Linda and Charlie Bloom Book) https://www.amazon.com/End-Arguing-Valuable-Lessons-Relationships/dp/1646638085 Linda and Charlie Bloom Facebook https://www.facebook.com/lindaandcharliebloom Linda and Charlie Bloom Instagram https://www.instagram.com/linda_charlie_bloom/ Summer 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Now Open! Use code SUMMER2023 to save $1,500 by April 23 https://theadultchair.com/certification Headspace Try free for 30 days https://headspace.com/adult30 MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://

One of the things I get asked about the most is how parents can help their children grow up to be healthy adults. How do you set your kids up to naturally slide into their Adult Chair, while they are still literally children and adolescents? I decided to put myself out there and talk with my son, Blake – who is now a young adult and coaching clients of his own – about his experiences growing up and what he believes is most important in helping kids get into their Adult Chairs. In this vulnerable and authentic conversation, we talk about both of our experiences during Blake's childhood, from the work I had to do around my own triggers and codependency to the delicate dance parents need between boundaries and allowing their children to have experiences and make mistakes that shape them. Blake also shares that most of the young people he works with feel isolated and like they're not enough, leading them to look for external validation. He talks about how, through honesty, safety and unconditional love, parents can help kids navigate the unique cultural challenges of their time and address the most common questions in every human's heart: "Who am I?" "Am I loved?" "Am I enough?" Listen to discover: ● The balance between surrender and boundaries in parenting ● How to encourage your kids to talk to you and open up to you ● Demonstrating unconditional love, even when you have to discipline your kids ● The common thing all young people (and humans) struggle with ● The greatest gift you can give your kids ● How to help your kids feel their emotions ● Some of the unique challenges that kids today are facing, including porn and technology Blake was growing up during my years of private practice and working with The Adult Chair® model, so I think this is a beautiful story of what happens when parents and children are willing to learn and grow together. I'm so proud of who Blake is today, and I hope this encourages you that you don't have to be a "perfect" parent or have "perfect" kids to raise children who become healthy adults – all you need to do is show up with presence, a lot of love and your own Adult Chair. "Most of the time, people really don't want advice, but what you can do is just offer what you have to say without an expectation." - Blake Chalfant "The culture that we're raising kids in today is scary in some ways. And is not healthy." - Blake Chalfant "We have to surrender, but there has to be a balance of boundaries as well." - Michelle Chalfant "There's a very fine line between things that are gonna really come back to bite them in the ass and then your own projections of how you think they should be." - Blake Chalfant "No one feels like they're enough from a very young age, and we spent the rest of our life trying to fill that void with external validation." - Blake Chalfant "I think that's important too: owning your mistake, apologizing, cause you're modeling that for the kid." - Michelle Chalfant "These beautiful children are with you for a reason." - Michelle Chalfant "You can unconditionally love and support your kids while having extremely firm boundaries." - Blake Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Blake Chalfant Website https://blakechalfant.com/ Blake Chalfant Instagram https://www.instagram.com/blake.chalfant Blake Chalfant YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@BlakeChalfant11 Summer 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Now Open! https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We know that trauma and addiction affect the brain and body in so many ways. But when Dr. Elisa Hallerman overcame addiction and began working with others in recovery, she realized there was something big missing in the conversation about trauma and addiction: how it affects the soul. This inspired her to create a new paradigm for talking about sobriety called "Soulbriety," and it's changing the game for how people heal. In this episode, Dr. Hallerman shares all about what the soul is and how we can heal it from trauma, how she worked through her pain (and how you can too) and how to navigate a "dark night of the soul" to bring greater healing and wisdom into our lives. She also talks about the different types of trauma, how they affect the body and brain and what trauma healing modalities are most effective for different situations. This episode is PACKED with practical information about healing trauma and addiction along with beautiful explanations of how our souls work and the journey each soul takes to grow in wisdom and maturity. Listen to discover: Dr. Hallerman's "Soulbriety" method of healing addiction and trauma What the soul is What trauma does to our soul How to create space to go into your soul and do the work One thing you can do if you're in pain right now Why some people are unhappy even if they have "everything" How to find a good trauma therapist The best trauma healing modalities What a "dark night of the soul" is – and how it can lead to wisdom The stages of the soul journey and how to turn pain into purpose Dr. Hallerman's Recovery Management Agency If you have experienced trauma of any kind or find yourself in a difficult season of growth, this episode will give you hope, a higher perspective and helpful next steps to turn pain into purpose. "I think that everyone has some form of an addiction...We all have that desire to want instant gratification and to want something outside of ourselves to make ourselves feel better." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "I describe trauma as soul loss." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "When we're in pain as humans, the last thing that we typically do is sit, get curious and listen." - Michelle Chalfant "The inner work is really looking at and making what is unknown known." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "Individuals are different, their trauma is different and the way that their bodies and brains interpret that event are going to be different." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "If you have trauma, make sure you are finding the right therapist." - Michelle Chalfant "The dark nights of the soul are the moments in our life where we have to take the time and really have the patience to sit and really alchemize all of that information and that pain. And that is where the wisdom is going to come from." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "What is that piece inside yourself that you haven't yet healed?" - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "When people think we've made mistakes in our lives, it's like 'Are they mistakes? Or can we turn them around and create something beautiful from what we've experienced in the past?'" - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Elisa Hallerman Website https://drhallerman.com/ Dr. Elisa Hallerman Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drelisahallerman/ "Soulbriety" (Dr. Elisa Hallerman Book) https://drhallerman.com/soulbriety/ The Adult Chair® Live – April 14-15, 2023 Attend in-person in Charlotte, NC or Virtually https://theadultchair.com/charlotte/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Throughout our lives, we hear so many voices of others telling us who and how we should be. Societal norms, our parents, our partners…it can feel like everyone wants something for us and from us. To cope with this, we develop limiting beliefs, survival strategies and masks that we wear. We start to think these things are really who we are, and they become our roadmap for life…unless we find the courage to look within and discover who we really want to be. In this episode, I talk with fellow life coach and kindness curator, Dr. Jeremy Goldberg, about how we can break out of the boxes that the world tries to put us in, find what we want in life and create a new reality of kindness on the planet. We talk about how to listen to your "heart whispers" instead of fear, what intuition does (and doesn't) sound like, the role of the ego and the one thing you can do today to break through limiting beliefs. Jeremy is a master of making these big concepts simple through great metaphors and analogies that will help you find more authenticity and peace within. Listen to discover: How one act of kindness changed Dr. Jeremy Goldberg's life How to listen to your heart and find who you really are What the ego is + a bigger perspective on life How to audit your life and find your limiting beliefs Choosing wholeness over happiness Being human is hard, and we're all trying to figure it out one day at a time. When we take the brave step to find our true self, live with compassion and treat our fellow humans with kindness, we not only change our lives…we can change the world! "I believe that beliefs are choices." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "People may not know who they are, but they do know that they're not living the life that makes them peaceful. They know that they're not living from their true self." - Michelle Chalfant "We're all human, and we all have the same exact problems." - Michelle Chalfant "Sometimes if we're unclear about what we do want, we can approach that same thing from the opposite trajectory, which is, 'What do you NOT want?'" - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "It's really hard to change the picture when you're living in the frame." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "Heart whispers, and fear shouts." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "The mind is really loud. Our brains are megaphones of fear, comparison, criticism and judgment. And so, my advice would be to get still and feel God." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "Intuition doesn't come at you with all this fear and screaming at you." - Michelle Chalfant "It's undeniable that your upbringing affects your life. It affects your nervous system. It affects the way that you see the world around you." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "I think a lot of people chase happiness instead of allowing wholeness." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Jeremy Goldberg Website https://www.longdistancelovebombs.com/ Dr. Jeremy Goldberg Instagram https://www.instagram.com/longdistancelovebombs/ Long Distance Love Bombs Podcast (Dr. Jeremy Goldberg Podcast) https://www.longdistancelovebombs.com/podcast "It'll Be Okay, and You Will Be Too." (Dr. Jeremy Goldberg Book) https://www.amazon.com/Itll-Okay-You-Will-Too/dp/0692624724 The Adult Chair® Live – April 14-15, 2023 Attend in-person in Charlotte, NC or Virtually https://theadultchair.com/charlotte/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

In my 25 years of private practice, the #1 issue I worked on with clients was feeling their emotions. Whether someone was anxious, reactive and raging or numb to the world, the question they were all asking was, "What the heck do I do with these emotions?" I've been there too. And it breaks my heart, because experiencing emotions is one of the gifts of being human. But the good news is that all of us can reclaim this part of ourselves and learn to feel our emotions. And when we do, it unlocks all kinds of possibilities in life! In this episode, I'm breaking down why it's so important that we learn to feel our emotions and some practical ways to do that. I'm also addressing some of the common fears and discomfort around feeling emotions (like, "What if I get stuck in this emotion?") and helping you understand why this is your birthright – and how it can improve your relationships, your intuition and your life! Listen to discover: ● Why it's so important to feel your emotions ● Why most humans struggle with this ● Four practical ways to feel your emotions ● How to connect with your inner child ● How to overcome blocks in feeling emotions No one is born without emotions, but along the way, we learn to suppress them – and in turn, disconnect from who we really are. Feeling emotions is the key to connecting back to yourself and one of the foundational pillars of being a healthy adult. I hope this episode helps guide you back to this essential part of you. "We'd have a completely different world if we were all able to tune into what our emotions are." - Michelle Chalfant "We become whole humans when we feel our emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "We're all born to feel emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "When we feel our emotions, it is a gateway into our intuition. We have enhanced intuition when we are in tune with and know what we are feeling emotionally." - Michelle Chalfant "Instead of asking yourself, 'What do I think?" ask yourself, "What do I feel?'" - Michelle Chalfant "Empathy is when we're able to tune into another person and feel what they're feeling. It's a beautiful skill to have." - Michelle Chalfant "Connecting with the inner child is simply activating an energy." - Michelle Chalfant "There's so much power in feeling our emotions." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Free Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild BRAND NEW: The Adult Chair® Live – April 14-15, 2023 Attend in-person in Charlotte, NC or Virtually https://theadultchair.com/charlotte/ Headspace Try it free for 30 days https://www.headspace.com/adult30 MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You just met the new love of your life, and after a season of single parenting, you're so excited to build a life with your new partner and create a beautiful blended family. But you don't just have yourself to think about. Between their kids, your kids, exes and in-laws, forming new bonds and creating healthy dynamics can be, well, complicated. Not only do you want to be a great parent or stepparent to your blended family, but you're also navigating brand new territory with your partner, from different parenting styles to setting healthy boundaries. Certified Adult Chair® Coach, Amber Jones, has lived this as a mom and stepmom to a blended family of six children, and in this show, she drops a wealth of wisdom on how to create connected blended families from your Adult Chair. We talk about the nitty gritty of boundaries with exes, building relationships with stepchildren, parenting roles, when to introduce your children to a new partner, and how to deepen your relationship with your partner. And, like everything in The Adult Chair®, we know that the true work happens within, so Amber also walks us through how to work with our own triggers, the importance of self-worth and why navigating blended family dynamics can be such a beautiful opportunity to work on ourselves. Listen to discover: Amber's story of navigating divorce, dating and remarriage in a blended family of six kids When to introduce your kids to a new partner How to navigate different parenting styles The two most common struggles for blended families The importance of centering the relationship and the "couple bubble" How to deal with pressures from outside the relationship How long-term relationships can be a mirror for growth The power of gratitude in your relationship Tips for increasing connection with your partner Amber is a wonderful relationship coach, and whether you're part of a blended family, considering dating again, dating someone with children or just looking to strengthen your relationship, kids or no kids, this episode is for you! "We both really believe that the relationship is the foundation of the whole family." - Amber Jones "You have to be a unified front." - Michelle Chalfant "Your self-worth has to be very intact. You have to know that you're worthy and that your partner loves you and that you're good enough." - Amber Jones "I think that when it comes to exes, it's really the responsibility of the partner whose ex it is to manage and handle the ex. " - Amber Jones "You've got to be #1 on each other's list." - Michelle Chalfant "The biggest problems that I see are because of other people outside of the relationship causing issues within the relationship." - Amber Jones "I think there's so much power in those words of just saying, 'I believe you. I believe your experience.'" - Amber Jones "Triggers are a gift because they show us our inner beliefs about ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Amber Jones Website https://www.amberjonescoaching.com/ Amber Jones Instagram https://instagram.com/amberjonescoaching/ Episode #98: Transforming Triggers https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/98-transforming-triggers/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We've all felt it: the extra tense political discussions, the harsh climate on social media and the overall division between people. It often feels like half the planet is living in a different world and we just can't seem to understand each other. This isn't just in our heads. Studies show that empathy has declined 40% since 1979, and today, one third of people say they can't easily see the point of view of somebody else. We have to learn how to listen, hear and respect each other again. The good news is that we can all learn empathy! My guest today, Rob Volpe, has mastered the art of empathy both in his personal relationships and through his work in market research. Since his job is all about listening to people and creating connections, he's learned to identify the specific attitudes and behaviors that help people hear each other and feel heard – and he's here today to empower us with five simple steps to building more empathy in our life and world! Listen to discover: ● What empathy actually is ● The wonderful things empathy can fuel in our lives ● The difference between emotional empathy and cognitive empathy ● What to do if you have a partner who doesn't have a lot of empathy ● The difference between empathy and agreement ● Shocking stats about the decline in empathy ● The factors driving our current empathy crisis ● 5 steps to build more empathy today Empathy is something we talk a lot about but have trouble defining and practicing. We also tend to think it's a quality someone either has or doesn't – when in reality, we are all capable of empathy, and we all need to consistently practice our empathy skills. You don't have to naturally feel the emotions of others to be empathetic. By setting aside our judgments, asking good questions and listening with curiosity, we can stop talking past each other and learn how to really love each other, even when we disagree! "Empathy as it's defined is about connecting with other people on either an emotional or a cognitive level to understand the lived experience of somebody else as if you were them." - Rob Volpe "Empathy is needed for healthy relationships." - Michelle Chalfant "We just want to be seen, heard and know that we're enough." - Rob Volpe "It's not about agreeing. It's about witnessing and really seeing and hearing them." - Michelle Chalfant "One third of adults could not easily see the point of view of other people." - Rob Volpe "We're living what I call 'chin up'...and when we're chin up and living in the head space, we're ready to defend. We're not listening." - Michelle Chalfant "We just need to take the time to listen to one another and hear what the other person is saying and not be so defensive." - Rob Volpe LINKS & RESOURCES Rob Volpe Website https://www.5stepstoempathy.com/ "Tell Me More About That" (Rob Volpe book) https://www.amazon.com/Tell-More-About-That-Conversation/dp/1774580896 Rob Volpe Instagram https://www.instagram.com/empathy_activist/ Rob Volpe TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@empathyactivist The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Cheers. Salud. Skol. Wherever you are in the world, it seems like alcohol punctuates every celebration. But have we stopped to ask if alcohol is really good for us? Or have we paused to get curious about why we drink – and when it moves from genuine enjoyment to unhealthy numbing out? Recently, I've noticed more people having conversations about sobriety, from giving up drinking entirely to swapping a few cocktails for mocktails, and I thought it was time we talked about alcohol through the lens of The Adult Chair®. In this episode, I'm chatting with Laura McKowen, who has written extensively about getting sober and runs a global sobriety support community. She openly and vulnerably shares her story of using alcohol to numb her emotions, why and how she got sober and what her life looks like now. We talked about how our culture normalizes excessive drinking, all the emotions that come up when getting sober and ways to tell if you might have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. If you're at all "sober curious," you're going to love hearing her perspective! Listen to discover: ● Laura's story of getting sober and why she chose to stop drinking ● How drinking culture normalizes excessive drinking ● Busting health myths about alcohol ● The connection between alcohol and anxiety ● How Laura's life got better when she got sober ● The way we use alcohol to numb our emotions ● How to develop a healthier relationship with alcohol, whether you choose to cut it out completely or enjoy it in moderation Like everything in The Adult Chair, we aren't talking in terms of "do" or "don't" or "good" or "bad," but about bringing consciousness into the decisions we make. My goal for this show is not to tell you to stop drinking, but to encourage you to take a closer look at when you drink, why you drink and how you drink so you can truly live life to the fullest: present, awake and alive! "I knew I liked to drink a little too much. I loved it a little too much." - Laura McKowen [When offered a drink after a bad day] "I don't want a glass of wine. I would like to come talk to you about my emotions though." - Michelle Chalfant "We end up recreating our life in a way that decenters alcohol...my life is still my life." - Laura McKowen "When you are drinking even a little more than you want to, it keeps you from facing the truth." - Laura McKowen "Alcohol provides a really great shield to just sort of skim across the top of life." - Laura McKowen "I was in a lot of emotional pain. I know that's exactly why I reached for alcohol." - Michelle Chalfant "We don't get away with not feeling things. It goes somewhere." - Laura McKowen "Shame disconnects us from our humanity and the humanity in other people." - Laura McKowen "The not drinking wasn't the cure....it was actually connecting with other people in a meaningful way and healing in relationship with people that allowed me to heal." - Laura McKowen LINKS & RESOURCES Laura McKowen Website https://www.lauramckowen.com/ Laura McKowen Instagram https://www.instagram.com/laura_mckowen/ "Push Off From Here" (Laura McKowen Book) https://www.lauramckowen.com/books The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

There is an old Irish proverb that says, "A good friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have." While some people thrive in a big group and others prefer to have a few close friends, there isn't a human on the planet who doesn't need friends! But making friends seems to get harder as we get older. Gone are the days of finding a BFF because you happened to sit next to each other on the school bus. Friendship in adulthood takes intentional effort. In this episode, I talk to psychologist and friendship expert, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, about how to create deep, meaningful relationships as an adult. We talk about why love is so much more than just romantic partnerships, how our attachment style impacts our friendships and the "recipe" for a deep friendship. Dr. Franco shares lots of practical tips on how to feel more confident in social situations, places to make new friends, conversation starters and how to get over the fear of rejection. Listen to discover: ● The importance and power of friendship ● How your attachment style impacts how you make friends ● How to make friends as an adult ● The ingredients required for organic friendships to form ● The "liking gap" and how it impacts the way we show up with others ● A method for initiating conversation ● Why you shouldn't fear rejection Though busy schedules, family commitments and adult responsibilities can make friendship more difficult, connection really boils down to two things: repeated interactions and shared vulnerability. When we understand this, along with our own attachment style, we can take conscious steps to find our people – no matter where we are in life. "How we've connected has shaped who we are...then who you are affects how you connect." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "Research finds, for example, that even learning about attachment theory shifts your attachment a bit." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "Being secure is not about never feeling insecure. It's about having an alternative secure voice too and leaning into or buying into the more secure side of you." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "That's one of my biggest tips when it comes to making friends: assume people like you when it's ambiguous." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "When we really work with our attachment styles, it can really just change the whole way we see the world." - Michelle Chalfant "If you're an adult and you don't have that [infrastructure for meeting new people] anymore, you can't assume it's going to happen organically. You have to try." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "Find a community that's going to give you repeated unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "You also have to overcome covert avoidance. And covert avoidance is our tendency to show up physically but check out mentally." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "People are less likely to reject you than you think." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "It's not so much about what you say. It's about the fact that you are opening up conversation." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "Rejection is just part of the process of connection." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "I think we need to remind ourselves too that if someone doesn't like us, it might have nothing to do with us." - Michelle Chalfant "I think there are so many ways that sometimes what we think is a rejection, the other person is actually thinking of as consideration." - Dr. Marisa G. Franco "Oftentimes, it's not about us. It's about something that other person is going through." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Marisa G. Franco Website https://drmarisagfranco.com/ "Platonic" (Dr. Marisa G. Franco book) https://drmarisagfranco.com/about/platonic-the-book/ Dr. Marisa G. Franco Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drmarisagfranco/ The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/adult65 Use code ADULT65 for 65% off + free shipping MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

There are so many different aspects of being an emotionally healthy adult. We're complex, connected beings, and our bodies, our minds, our emotions, our spiritual lives…they all play a role in how we feel every day. It all matters! One of the areas we don't talk about enough is our hormones. Hormones impact SO many of our bodily and mental functions, and we've been kept in the dark about them for too long! Everyone deserves to understand this part of themselves! In this episode, I talk to hormone health educator Candace Burch to help us understand all things hormones…and wow, is she a WEALTH of information! We talk about how hormones impact our lives from our teenage years all the way through menopause, the symptoms of hormonal imbalances and all the related topics when it comes to hormones: birth control, fertility, anxiety, acne, PCOS, stress and SO much more. You will walk away with a much better understanding of the role of each hormone in your body and the empowered choices you have when it comes to balancing your hormones. Listen to discover: The classic signs and symptoms of hormone imbalances Some of the things that can contribute to hormone balance Hormonal changes you can expect in each stage of life The key female hormones and the importance of adrenal health How to approach hormone testing and replenishment/supplementation The root cause of PCOS This show focuses on female hormones since they are so complex, but I hope it is helpful for all of us to recognize that our internal chemistry and the cyclical nature of our bodies are not to be ignored. When we learn to work with our bodies, trust our intuitions and get support when we're feeling out of balance, we can take more ownership of our health through every stage of life. "Painful periods are not normal." - Candace Burch "So many women are not aware of the symptoms or they become their symptoms." - Candace Burch "The whole concept of hormone imbalance is relatively new." - Candace Burch "Ovulation disruption is one of the big reasons people become hormonally imbalanced." - Candace Burch "When you talk about health or hormonal health in any case, it's always about nutrient dense proteins, good nutrition." - Candace Burch "That's key: keeping blood sugar stable." - Candace Burch "There's this inevitable road to hormones shifting, but they shouldn't be shifting like a roller coaster." - Candace Burch "I think a lot of people don't even know how to relax anymore." - Candace Burch "The adrenals are key to everything really." - Candace Burch "There are not a lot of studies with intermittent fasting with women." - Michelle Chalfant "Progesterone is the great balancing hormone." - Candace Burch "Estrogen has so many functions. We need it." - Candace Burch "I'm a fan of hormone replenishment when testing takes place first, in measured doses." - Candace Burch "High cortisol at night is really problematic." - Candace Burch "I think most PCOS is very much linked to insulin resistance and an imbalance of blood sugar." - Candace Burch "Anyone that has PCOS doesn't need to feel helpless and hopeless." - Candace Burch "I think women have to trust their intuition." - Candace Burch LINKS & RESOURCES Candace Burch Website https://www.yourhormonebalance.com/ Use code ADULTCHAIR50 for $50 off hormone testing Your Hormone Balance Instagram https://www.instagram.com/yourhormonebalance The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When it comes to standing up for ourselves and setting boundaries, there are few places where this is tougher than with our family of origin. Family brings a whole different dynamic to the table: our foundational attachments, our childhood programming, group expectations and our natural loyalty to our parents. The most successful and strongest people I know can still fall into old patterns or feel like younger versions of themselves around their parents and family. In this episode, I'm talking to my friend, Rebecca, whose family would often criticize her when she would set boundaries. Despite being a successful adult and parent herself, Rebecca often felt small and at the whim of her parents' emotions. After a conflict around this issue, Rebecca was invited to a holiday gathering with her mom and dad, and she decided it was time to take empowered steps to change her family dynamics. She turned inward and got clear about what her boundaries were and her plan in case her boundaries were crossed – and she had an entirely different experience at that get together! She connected to a deep sense of self-worth, power and her ability to take care of herself that still radiates from her today. In this show, she's sharing how she did it using The Adult Chair® model and how you can do it too! Listen to discover: ● How Rebecca learned to stand up for herself and change her family dynamics ● The inner work Rebecca did to get clear on her boundaries ● What an embodied boundary feels like ● Why taking care of ourselves and setting boundaries can lead to healthier relationships What I love about Rebecca's approach is she didn't just ask herself what her boundaries were; she asked herself how she wanted to feel. This helped her stay connected to herself, and it gave her an embodied sense of strength and power. You can feel her grounded energy just listening to this conversation, and she has so many amazing takeaways to share with us – this one is a must listen! "I didn't know what a true boundary was before all of this." - Rebecca "My parents never respected me as an adult." - Rebecca "If they were happy, I was happy." - Rebecca "I don't like labels, but it does help us to understand why people show up the way they do." - Michelle Chalfant "I need to take care of myself because no one will take care of me." - Rebecca "We can't set effective, strong, clear boundaries if we don't know what we value inside and who we are on the inside." - Michelle Chalfant "No one is going to make me feel any other way than how I want to feel. And if they do, it's not selfish to not want to be here." - Rebecca "I hear someone that is choosing their reality versus allowing others to dictate their reality." - Michelle Chalfant "I have the power to change this. I just have to work. That's the thing – you have to work." - Rebecca "Words are powerful...I want my children to understand your words can take you places and can move mountains and can make you feel amazing, if you know how you want to feel." - Rebecca "Unless you have the energy within, then you can't set a firm boundary." - Michelle Chalfant "What's ok for you doesn't have to be ok for anybody else." - Rebecca LINKS & RESOURCES The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Our society today is facing an epidemic of anxiety. Despite technology that promises to make our lives faster and easier, it seems that we're more anxious than ever. In 2020, Google searches for "anxiety" reached an all-time high. We have to look beyond the diagnosis of anxiety and seek to find the root cause of why so many people are living with such high stress and dysregulation that are creating anxiety. There is something bigger going on here. And since we're whole humans, we need to look at the whole picture – mind, body and spirit – when thinking about how we heal and manage anxiety. My guest on this show, Dr. Ellen Vora, is a psychiatrist who takes a functional medicine approach to anxiety, looking at mental health factors and physical health factors, such as sleep, digestion and blood sugar, that can add up to throw us out of balance and contribute to feelings of anxiety. She also helps us to distinguish between feelings of anxiety that come from a physical imbalance vs. true anxiety, which comes from our inner compass telling us something truly isn't ok. Listen to discover: What's causing our current epidemic of anxiety The connection between sleep and anxiety Why blood sugar imbalances can cause "false anxiety" The difference between true anxiety and false anxiety The many reasons for cell phone-induced anxiety Spirituality and anxiety management A psychiatrist's honest opinion about psychedelics, medications and anxiety We need to start taking a "layered" approach to treating and managing anxiety by looking at the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual elements of our lives and how they work together to create stress or health. This hopeful approach to anxiety empowers us all to make choices that support our well-being, even in the face of real personal and mental health challenges. "I was sort of taking the temperature of our society, and the temperature right now is anxiety." - Dr. Ellen Vora "False anxiety is anxiety that is not our true essence." - Dr. Ellen Vora "It's not just one thing that we have to look at." - Michelle Chalfant "Genes plays a role, but that keeps a lot of us feeling stuck and feeling destined to be anxious....it's more dynamic than we appreciate." - Dr. Ellen Vora "Our problems, our stressors are still valid. It's just that if we had a snack and our blood sugar was more stable in that moment, we would be more resilient in the face of our stressors." - Dr. Ellen Vora "Our mind is the consummate meaning maker." - Dr. Ellen Vora "It's not like we have to dramatically change everything that we do, but we just want to make informed choices." - Dr. Ellen Vora "We don't get to gluten free or decaf coffee our way out of our true anxiety." - Dr. Ellen Vora "I would have my clients sit in their bodies and feel what was going on, and their physical symptoms would start to change." - Michelle Chalfant "[Anxiety] is the physical manifestation of unfelt emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "It's our body that's able to listen and really dial in and tap into a deeper knowing." - Dr. Ellen Vora "It's turning toward the anxiety instead of turning away from." - Michelle Chalfant "We reach outside of ourselves to 'fix us'…and it doesn't end it. We've gotta get to the root." - Michelle Chalfant "We need to change our narrative of what is materially possible." - Dr. Ellen Vora "We're never stuck. We are never broken." - Dr. Ellen Vora LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Ellen Vora Website https://ellenvora.com/ Dr. Ellen Vora Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ellenvoramd/ "The Anatomy of Anxiety" (Dr. Ellen Vora book) https://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Anxiety-Understanding-Overcoming-Response/dp/0063075091 The Self-Worth Meditation Bundle https://theadultchair.com/worthy MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Do you envy people who can speak up for themselves easily – without stress or guilt? Or do you wish you could go through life with more freedom – not always worried about what others think or if you're getting it right, being able to make mistakes and move on? If you struggle with perfectionism and people pleasing, this type of life might feel like just a dream. But the truth is that perfectionism and people pleasing are just parts of you – parts that have a good reason for being there. And when you understand how they got there, the role they serve and the attention they need, you can transform them…and live that free, bold, courageous life you long for! In this episode, I'm chatting with life coach Amy Green Smith about her journey of overcoming people pleasing and perfectionism, building self-confidence, learning to speak up for herself and creating a life filled with joy! Amy breaks down why perfectionism and people pleasing are both survival strategies that we learned to keep us safe and how they are connected to beliefs about ourselves. We talked about practical ways to start shifting these beliefs, set boundaries, cultivate more authenticity and boldly stand up for ourselves with kindness! Listen to discover: The root of perfectionism and people pleasing The connection between codependency and people pleasing The situations that can lead to perfectionism The different ways we can experience our inner critic based on sensory processing Practical steps to transform perfectionism and people pleasing Why boundaries matter so much – because our self-worth depends on them! Steps to setting healthy boundaries, with beautiful conversational examples How to cultivate deep, authentic friendships I love the way that Amy connects all of the topics in this episode back to self-worth. Boundaries, accepting compliments and true connection with others are all important because they are part of our self-worth. She also models how standing up for ourselves isn't confrontational and can be done with radical acceptance…even with people we strongly disagree with. If you're ready to understand why you people please or why you feel like you have to be perfect – and what you can do to begin to shift these patterns in your life – press "play" now for a fun, insightful show! "Both perfectionism and people pleasing are symptoms. They're manifestations of a deeper-seated belief about self." - Amy Green Smith "People pleasing is genuinely anytime we are so highly invested in the opinions of other people that we actually shapeshift, twist and contort at a cost to self." - Amy Green Smith "It's rooted a lot in us just genuinely wanting to take care of ourselves." - Amy Green Smith "One of our primary human needs is for one of belonging." - Amy Green Smith "We have emotional feelings that don't feel great, we try to rectify them with physical feelings." - Amy Green Smith "People pleasing is actually a defense mechanism. It's an iteration of our fawn response." - Amy Green Smith "Do not let your silence make you a liar." - Amy Green Smith "Is there anyone that I'm always frustrated with, that I'm always upset about, that I'm building a story about, but have refused to talk to them about it? That is usually a people pleasing dynamic that's happening." - Amy Green Smith "Boundaries can be set with anger and rage...[but] they're not healthy boundaries." - Michelle Chalfant "If it's worth complaining about, then it's probably worth taking action on." - Amy Green Smith "Every time you choose to silence yourself...you send a subconscious message to your mind that your wants, opinions and needs just don't matter as much as someone else's." - Amy Green Smith "You can respect one another without agreeing." - Amy Green Smith "You don't have to agree. Just respect me." - Michelle Chalfant "You can have two completely different opinions about something and still be in relationship with that person." - Michelle Chalfant "It's hard for us to actually be with the goodness in our life." - Amy Green Smith "The receiving piece is huge." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Amy Green Smith Website https://amygreensmith.com/ Amy Green Smith Instagram https://instagram.com/heyamygreensmith The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You landed the dream gig, got the promotion, submitted your book for publishing, had an amazing first date. So, why do you feel so insecure, unsure and even unworthy? Hello, imposter syndrome! Imposter syndrome, or feeling like a fraud, is something that everyone struggles with from time to time — yep, even those super successful people you look up to. It's that feeling that you don't really deserve the recognition or opportunities you've earned or you worry you're not really good enough for them. It often sounds like, "If they only knew…" Imposter syndrome can pop up when something good happens in our life or it can hold us back from ever going after our dreams. In this episode, I'm breaking down exactly what imposter syndrome is, where it comes from and the concrete steps you can take to work through it and overcome it! Listen to discover: What imposter syndrome is Where it comes from Practical steps to stop feeling like a fraud or an imposter Feeling like a fraud is part of the human experience. But because this feeling causes us shame, we hide it and then end up thinking we're the only ones. It's time we talk about it openly — and talk about what you can do so it doesn't hold you back any longer! I hope the steps in this episode are steps you can turn to anytime you feel imposter syndrome creep up. "If you feel this way, don't feel like you're the only one." - Michelle Chalfant "It's the feeling that you're a fraud, that you don't deserve compliments, praise or success that you rightfully earned." - Michelle Chalfant "When we have imposter syndrome, we feel like our success happened by chance or by luck." - Michelle Chalfant "It's like we're carrying around this big, dark secret that we want no one to know about." - Michelle Chalfant "It's critical to have self-worth. This is one of the ways that we work ourselves out of feeling like a fraud or an imposter." - Michelle Chalfant "When we can become witness to it, we give ourselves another perspective." - Michelle Chalfant "Don't let your rouge thoughts run your life." - Michelle Chalfant "When we change our thoughts into positive, conscious thoughts about who we are, it feels better." - Michelle Chalfant "What we're not great at doing is accepting and owning our accomplishments." - Michelle Chalfant "These are your accomplishments. They're yours. Claim them. Be proud of them." - Michelle Chalfant "Self-worth is key to changing your mindset about being a fraud." - Michelle Chalfant "Self-worth is all about value." - Michelle Chalfant "Imposter syndrome is much more common than you would think." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

At the start of a new year, we all wonder what the year will hold for us. Even with the resolutions and intentions we set, there's also that element of uncertainty around the things we can't control. What will come our way? What will shift for us? This goes beyond just us as individuals. Our planet also goes through shifts and transitions with the rhythms of nature and the universe – and on this show, I'm talking with astrologer Rachel Lang to learn more about what might be coming for all of us here on earth in 2023 and beyond. Before giving her predictions for 2023, Rachel breaks down what astrology is and why it's so much more than what many people think. She helps demystify some of the thought processes and patterns behind it and explains some of the shifts that could be coming in the universe. And, to help illustrate just how complex and deep astrology charts can be, I'm putting myself out there and letting her read my chart on air. Curious to find out what might be going on in my life this year? Listen to find out! Listen to discover: What astrology is and what it is not Why it's much more in depth than birth dates and horoscopes What an astrology chart even is Some of the things happening on the planet in 2023 and beyond A real-time reading of Michelle's chart for 2023 Astrology is much deeper than just your birthday or your horoscope in the newspaper. It's about the rhythms of nature and the patterns we see in the heavenly bodies – and what that can mean for trends in the universe and in each of our lives. Whether you love astrology or are a self-proclaimed skeptic, this episode will give you some interesting things to consider and some insights into what this year might hold for you. "Any time we open ourselves up, we have the opportunity to really help others." - Rachel Lang "It is the least woo woo of all the things that are considered woo." - Rachel Lang "It's a study of archetypes." - Rachel Lang "Everything has some kind of symbolic resonance." - Rachel Lang "You can use astrology for just about everything." - Michelle Chalfant "If we would work with the cycles of nature instead of against them, then I think personally we wouldn't have a lot of the problems that we have right now." - Rachel Lang "Everything affects everything else." - Rachel Lang "It's about space, but ultimately, it brings us to a place of presence on the earth." - Rachel Lang LINKS & RESOURCES Rachel Lang Website https://rachellangastrologer.com/ Episode #94: An Astrologer's View of New Year Transitions with Rachel Lang https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/94-an-astrologers-view-of-new-year-transitions-with-rachel-lang/ The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Journaling is truly a self-discovery tool. It helps us to find who we really are – what we want, what we value and what we feel – underneath the false self. In fact, "journal" and "journey" come from the same root word. To journal is like taking a journey into the self! Journaling is one of my go-to practices for transformation. It's so powerful for learning more about yourself, processing your emotions, getting things off your chest, finding clarity and getting unstuck in life. And it's totally free to do! What's not to love? In this episode, I'm giving you the scoop on the powerful ways journaling works to get you into the flow state and uncover deeper knowledge and answers about yourself and your life. You'll get tips for how to start a journaling practice and how to get the words flowing, even if you don't feel like a writer or aren't sure what to write. Listen to discover: Powerful reasons to journal Why journaling is such an important tool for transformation The different ways you can journal How to start journaling, even if you're not sure what to write Having a journal is like having a best friend who listens to you without judgment. It's a place to process your inner world, move stuck energy and gain clarity and answers about yourself and your direction in life. Tune in to learn how to get started with this powerful practice today! "The journaling prompt will take you on a deep dive into the self to help you get clearer about who you are." - Michelle Chalfant "It is such an incredible way to discover who you really are." - Michelle Chalfant "Journaling is a self-discovery process." - Michelle Chalfant "When you feel really emotional about something, you can journal about it." - Michelle Chalfant "Journaling can be almost like a best friend." - Michelle Chalfant "When we journal, it's an energy. It actually is moving us forward in life." - Michelle Chalfant "Anything that resonates with you, do it. Experiment." - Michelle Chalfant "Journaling is a gateway." - Michelle Chalfant "Anything that comes to your mind – anything at all – start there." - Michelle Chalfant "There is no right or wrong when you journal." - Michelle Chalfant "The prompt begins your journey." - Michelle Chalfant "You will find direction and guidance through journaling." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Free 2023 Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/journal MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

In my 25 years of practicing as a therapist and holistic life coach, I found that there was one common root cause behind many of the issues my clients were facing: low self-worth. From codependency to difficulty with decisions or boundaries, not having a strong connection with the inner self was often the driving force behind these challenges. Most of us have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for worth and validation, and building up a strong sense of who we are on the inside takes practice. One of the simplest and most powerful places to start is with self-validation. Self-validation is when we notice who we are – our actions, thoughts and feelings – and we affirm ourselves. It's not bragging or comparing ourselves to others but rather speaking truth to ourselves and cheering ourselves on…which not only builds up our sense of self-worth but also leads to healthier relationships as we stop looking to others to validate us. In this episode, I'm sharing more about the power of self-validation and simple steps for how you can begin a practice of doing this every day. It literally takes seconds to do, and over time, it will change your life! Listen to discover: What self-validation is and why it's important The connection between self-validation and self-worth What self-validation looks like in real life Steps to starting a practice of self-validation The difference between self-validation and narcissism or bragging No one can make us feel or believe something we don't believe about ourselves. So, if we don't have a sense of our own self-worth, no amount of validation from others is going to give us what we need. It's an endless cycle of approval-seeking that never fills us up. That's why we have to lay a foundation of self-worth and believe in our own goodness so that when others validate us, we can actually let it land and show up more authentically – as the true self that we know and love. "Self-validation starts a domino effect to help heal all of these things because self-validation starts to build self-worth." - Michelle Chalfant "Self-validation is when we notice what we're doing or thinking or feeling and we acknowledge it, we own it and then we give ourselves a pat on the back about it." - Michelle Chalfant "If you want healthy relationships, start out by self-validating. It is unhealthy for us to rely on external validation." - Michelle Chalfant "Self-validation is the healthy way to feel good about self." - Michelle Chalfant "When you add that validation that takes seconds, my internal self gets built up, my self-worth gets built up, my sense of self becomes a little bit more positive." - Michelle Chalfant "It's your job to share with others what you need." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Free 2023 Journaling Challenge - Starts January 1! https://theadultchair.com/journal MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Whether you love manifesting or you're still a little skeptical, I want you to consider one thing: if the Law of Attraction really is a law of nature, like gravity, is it possible that it is working in your life whether you know it or not? Is it possible that your unconscious beliefs are shaping your reality in ways you don't realize – or want – simply because you haven't chosen another way of thinking? This was the reality of Dr. Joe Vitale's life when he was homeless and living on the floor of the Dallas library. A lifelong learner with a love for books, he would spend hours in the self-development section, trying to figure out what was keeping him stuck in life. He realized he was carrying a tremendous amount of limiting beliefs, including the belief that he needed to suffer to be successful, and these beliefs were the very reason he was in the circumstances he was in. As he changed his beliefs, he changed his entire life from his finances to his career, and today he's a wildly successful author, actor, musician and guru on the Law of Attraction – and I was so honored to speak with him on today's show. Dr. Joe helps explain the Law of Attraction and how it works on a practical level, showing how what we focus on is what we get, and walks us through a beautiful Hawaiian process for healing ourselves and those around us. I asked him all the tough questions and got all of the answers for you, so you can look at this concept through a new lens and start creating the life you want! Listen to discover: How Dr. Joe went from being homeless to being a wildly successful author, actor and musician – just by shifting his beliefs Where to start getting the life you want What the law of attraction is and why it can work for you (even if you don't think so) The importance of choosing love instead of fear for creating the life you want Why your unconscious beliefs make all the difference in manifestation The power of the ho'oponopono prayer and how to use it At the end of the day, the Law of Attraction is based on the idea that we see and get more of what we focus on. Wouldn't you rather focus on love than on fear or hate, no matter what – and especially if doing so was directly connected to the reality you were living? This is an awesome show to help you get started on that path and begin to see that miracles ARE possible! "The inner work is what got me here." - Dr. Joe Vitale "In order to change the outside reality, you gotta go inside." - Michelle Chalfant "You're not purposely, consciously choosing most of these beliefs. Most of them you've absorbed." - Dr. Joe Vitale "The 'how' is the number one thing that stops people." - Dr. Joe Vitale "Fear and hate are two of the most powerful manifesting emotions that there are." - Dr. Joe Vitale "Emotion is fire for creating what you want." - Dr. Joe Vitale "The law of attraction is how your brain works. It is bringing to you what you're focused on." - Dr. Joe Vitale "I love working with the unconscious mind because that is where, to me, the magic is." - MIchelle Chalfant "It seems to me the only limits we have are mental constructs." - Dr. Joe Vitale LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Joe Vitale Website https://joevitale.com/ Zero Limits Living (Joe Vitale TV Show) https://zerolimitslivingtv.com/ "Zero Limits" (one of many Joe Vitale books) https://www.amazon.com/Zero-Limits-Secret-Hawaiian-System/dp/0470402563 "Homeless to Billionaire" (Andres Pira with Dr. Joe Vitale book) https://www.amazon.com/Homeless-Billionaire-Principles-Attraction-Opportunity/dp/1946633860 Free 2023 Journaling Challenge - Starts January 1! https://theadultchair.com/journal MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

It's that time of year again…the holidays are here, and with them come all the delicious food and treats. I'm ALL about treating ourselves and eating for enjoyment, but there can also come a point where it's no longer fun. You probably know the feeling: the sugar crash, the sluggishness, the fatigue, maybe even body aches or indigestion or mild depression. It turns out there's a reason behind this: what we eat is deeply connected to our brain chemistry, our hormonal balance and our mental and emotional health. And it's different for everyone. On the show today, I talked to functional medicine nutritionist Andrea Nakayama about the connection between nutrition and mental health and how we can make mindful choices that support our health and happiness this holiday season. We talked about understanding our food triggers and our inherited beliefs about food and our bodies, the way sugar affects our brain chemistry, the root causes of chronic disease and why understanding your unique makeup and your story is critical to making conscious nutrition decisions. This is a fascinating conversation about how nutrition can actually affect our psychology and how we can develop holistic, sustainable habits that are rooted in a deep connection to self. Listen to discover: What functional medicine is & the role of a functional medicine nutritionist in overall health Understanding our inherited beliefs about food and the reasons why we eat the way we do Raising awareness to our food triggers The role of sugar in our brain chemistry and psychology The three roots of any chronic condition Ways to enjoy sugar or sweetness without negatively impacting your hormones or brain chemistry Epigenetics and its connection to disease that can trigger mental health issues Why it's so important to enjoy our food To be 100% clear, this episode is not about labeling food as good or bad or about how our bodies look. It is about understanding how our brains and bodies FEEL when we eat. We were made to eat and enjoy food! And true enjoyment comes when – like everything else in The Adult Chair® – we stay connected to ourselves, bring things into awareness, live embodied and make conscious choices that support our health – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. "Everything is connected, we are all unique and all things matter." - Andrea Nakayama "There's never one root cause." - Andrea Nakayama "Systems biology tells us that everything in the body is connected, the psychology is connected to the physiology, the gut/brain, the gut/hormones, the detoxification and the hormones...it's all connected." - Andrea Nakayama "We have to remember that we are our best judge, we need to tune into ourselves, what do we need intuitively." - Michelle Chalfant "Understanding all of that, your relationship to your body and the way you eat, is a critical part of the equation." - Andrea Nakayama "There are reasons we may be eating sugar or consuming sugar that feel like they're about regulating things, when they may be contributing to a dysregulation." - Andrea Nakayama "There's nothing good or bad about the food." - Andrea Nakayama "It's not about the food. It's about the food and you." - Andrea Nakayama "No two people are the same." - Michelle Chalfant "We've got to pay attention to our moods…what happens to ourselves, to our emotional state, our mental state, when we are eating these foods." - Michelle Chalfant "I think one of the mistakes is the elimination, elimination, elimination, elimination of food without the internal physiological healing." - Andrea Nakayama "Sugar is like the band aid that gives us the quick feeling of, 'Now I'm boosted," or 'Now I'm motivated,' but it's not the long-term solution." - Andrea Nakayama "It's kind of remarkable to me how complicated the relationship with food has gotten." - Andrea Nakayama "There's so much trauma that's influencing chronic health concerns." - Andrea Nakayama LINKS & RESOURCES Andrea Nakayama Website https://www.andreanakayama.com/ 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close December 16, 2022! https://theadultchair.com/certification Free 2023 Journaling Challenge - Starts January 1! https://michellechalfant.com/journal/ Episode #237: Healthy & Balanced Eating During the Holidays with Jessi Jean https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/237/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Resistance. Like gravity, it's such a common part of the human experience that few of us stop to acknowledge it, but it's a force that exists in all of our lives. It's in the fear that pops up when we go to move forward in life. It's in the inner critic, the imposter syndrome and the voice telling us we can't. It's in the writer's block, the snooze button, the procrastination and the distraction. It's the force that pushes against our creativity and our efforts – especially the big dreams that are part of our soul's mission – and none of us is immune to it (nope, not even the greats in their fields). The people who accomplish great things aren't people who don't experience resistance; they're the ones who can recognize it and choose to act anyway. I was so honored to have one of my favorite authors, Steven Pressfield, on the show to talk about the dynamics of resistance in our lives. As a writer, Steven understands this force intimately, and some of his most famous work, like "The War of Art," has focused on the topic of resistance: what it is, where it comes from and how we can stare it in the face and move forward anyway. In this episode, he shares his own 27-year journey of working with his ego to publish his first book, what he's learned along the way and how he continues to dance with resistance to pursue his soul's calling. Listen to discover: What resistance is and where resistance comes from How to take action even with resistance (and why we shouldn't expect resistance to just "go away") The many different forms resistance can take How to work with resistant voices like the inner critic The mindset of an amateur vs. a pro (and how you can start thinking like a pro from the start) How to handle rejection and failure and get back up again The danger in resistance is failing to recognize it. It's so easy to listen to that negative inner voice and truly believe that something is too hard and we shouldn't do it. By naming resistance and even listening to what it's trying to tell us, we can begin to separate our calling from our egoic fears and make the conscious choice to act anyway. When we do, we might realize it's not nearly as hard as we thought it would be. "When I would hear those voices trying to distract me or those voices telling me I'm unworthy, I would say to myself, 'Well, that's not me talking. Those aren't my thoughts. That's resistance.'" - Steven Pressfield "I'm convinced that resistance is a force of nature." - Steven Pressfield "No matter what your passion is, resistance is going to pop up." - Michelle Chalfant "When you feel massive resistance to something, you know that's the thing you gotta do." - Steven Pressfield "The more resistance you have, the more in line with your soul's mission that you are." - Michelle Chalfant "The bigger the dream, the bigger the resistance." - Steven Pressfield "We will think, 'Well, let me wait until the fear goes away and then I'll do it.' But the reality is that the fear never goes away." - Steven Pressfield "Once you take action, resistance will recede." - Steven Pressfield "Resistance has no strength of its own." - Steven Pressfield "Resistance takes the form of a voice in your head. And the mistake we make...is we think it's our voice." - Steven Pressfield "You certainly cannot argue with resistance. The only way is to dismiss it." - Steven Pressfield "The ego, it's based in fear. It's trying to protect us on some level." - Michelle Chalfant "When we build something big and we're here to help others, resistance is gonna pop up and rejection and failure. It's gonna happen. You keep going anyway." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Steven Pressfield Website https://stevenpressfield.com/ Steven Pressfield Instagram https://www.instagram.com/steven_pressfield/ "The War of Art" (Steven Pressfield book) https://www.amazon.com/War-Art-Through-Creative-Battles/dp/1936891026 "Govt Cheese" (Preorder: new Steven Pressfield book) https://store.stevenpressfield.com/product/govt-cheese-signed-copy/ 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close December 16, 2022! https://theadultchair.com/certification Free 2023 Journaling Challenge - Starts in January! https://michellechalfant.com/journal/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When we face challenges in life (and we all do), it can feel like the whole world is against us. Whether we blame ourselves or others for our problems, it's natural to think of our struggles as weakness. But what if the challenges in our lives are actually a doorway to our strengths? What if they give us the opportunity to build resilience and uncover our superpower – the unique way we're meant to make a difference in the world? Amberly Lago is living proof that our struggles can become our strengths. After building a career in dance and fitness, her life dramatically changed when she was hit by an SUV while riding her motorcycle. In an instant, she went from having a full, active life to undergoing 34 surgeries, spending six years in and out of the hospital, almost losing her leg and living in constant pain. She had every reason to be discouraged, to believe her life was over and to feel like a victim. But instead, she tapped into her "why" and chose to live a life of victory – and today, she is a wildly successful coach and motivational speaker who helps others find their superpowers in the midst of life's difficult times. In this powerful and inspiring conversation, Amberly and I talk about falling and getting back up again, how to find your superpower and how to overcome blocks, fears and dead ends in life so you can thrive! Listen to discover: Amberly's powerful story of overcoming challenges and building her resilience Simple, powerful habits that can pull us out of negativity and depression The power of resilience How to find your superpower What to do when you feel stuck, blocked or at a dead end in life How to take the first step right now, even if you feel blocked or scared It's so easy to hear an inspiring story like Amberly's and think she must have special superpowers, but the truths of her experience are universal. We all face challenges, and we all get to choose whether we will let them overwhelm us or we will overcome them. We all run into fear, blocks and resistance, and we all get to choose to pursue our purpose anyway. You have everything you need within you to face whatever life throws your way, and I hope this episode inspires you to keep going and encourages you that the difficult moments of life can be turned into superpowers! "I think to really thrive and to tap into your superpower of resilience and thrive, sometimes it is so super simple of just getting back to basics." - Amberly Lago "Gratitude is alchemy." - Amberly Lago "I think that when we start asking ourselves the right questions – like 'Why?' 'What is your why?' 'What is your purpose?' – we can get through the hows." - Amberly Lago "I really, truly believe that the human spirit is powerful beyond measure." - Amberly Lago "Success is built on relationships, and proximity is power." - Amberly Lago "I don't rely on motivation. I rely on resilience." - Amberly Lago "When we read, we learn about the world, we learn about other people. But when we write, we learn about ourselves." - Amberly Lago "[When we journal] it's like we discover what's on the inside." - Michelle Chalfant "It's normal to feel scared. That means you're doing something really important." - Amberly Lago "So much of it is mental and emotional work...It takes practice." - Michelle Chalfant "I have learned to talk to myself instead of listen to myself." - Amberly Lago "Everybody has resistance that pops up." - Michelle Chalfant "You don't quit on yourself." - Michelle Chalfant "If you can't say that you need help, reach out and see how you can be of service to somebody." - Amberly Lago LINKS & RESOURCES Amberly Lago Website https://amberlylago.com/ Amberly Lago Instagram https://www.instagram.com/amberlylagomotivation/ Free Download: How To Tap Into Your Superpower of Resilience and Thrive Text GRIT to 818-214-7378 "True Grit and Grace" (Amberly Lago book) https://www.amazon.com/True-Grit-Grace-Turning-Tragedy/dp/1683506235 Episode #202: Turning Tragedy Into Triumph with Amberly Lago https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/202/ 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close December 16, 2022! https://theadultchair.com/certification Free 2023 Journaling Challenge - Starts in January! https://michellechalfant.com/journal/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

All of us have an inner critic – the part that reminds us of our limits and our failures and tries to "keep us in line." It's that voice inside your head that can be critical, judgmental and even mean. Though it's just one part of who we are, the inner critic is one of those parts that can be especially painful and stressful to deal with. Not only does the inner critic impact our sense of self-worth, but it also keeps us stuck and small in life (although it thinks it's keeping us safe). We will often find this part standing between us and the dreams that are in our heart, telling us all the reasons why we can't or shouldn't. That is what Adult Chair® Coach Jenny Jansen encountered when she was considering joining The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program. She knew her heart was telling her to take the leap, but her inner critic dialed the volume up and tried to keep her stuck in fear. In this episode, Jenny tells the story of how she used The Adult Chair® to work with and transform her inner critic and how that was the first step toward living a life where she feels purposeful, energized and successful. Jenny shares a detailed example of doing her own parts work, helping illustrate what this work looks like in real life and how transformational it is. Listen to discover: How Jenny transformed her inner critic from her Adult Chair The tools Jenny used to work with her inner critic A beautiful parts work example from Jenny's work How Jenny overcame her fears about The Adult Chair Coaching Certification and became an amazingly successful coach As Jenny worked with her inner critic, she discovered that underneath the blame and shame it was throwing her way was fear. This is usually the case for our Adolescent parts – they are afraid and want to keep us safe. When we turn towards them with our healthy Adult voice and let them know they're ok, they transform. Jenny's story is a powerful example of how the goal is not to get rid of parts of ourselves but rather to integrate them into our whole self, with our healthy Adult in charge. "I feel like my inner critic was born when I was born." - Jenny Jansen "When I turned toward it, I realized there was so much fear underneath." - Jenny Jansen "The more you turn away from that voice, it gets louder." - Michelle Chalfant "When we're able to turn toward those parts and get to know them, they morph." - Michelle Chalfant "A lot of times, we mix up feeling safe with feeling familiar." - Jenny Jansen "What is it going to take to move your body path in line with your soul path?" - Jenny Jansen "When we take these risks and work with these inner parts and walk through our fears, we become more authentic. We live more from our true self, our true essence, and we have an experience of it." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Jenny Jansen Website https://www.trueconsciousliving.com/ 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close December 16, 2022! https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

It's that time of year again…the holidays are officially upon us! This is a happy time, but it can also be really triggering…especially for those of us who struggle with people pleasing and codependency. This time of year puts us around more people than usual, and more demands are placed on us during this time…a combo that is like kryptonite for those who are addicted to other people. No wonder the holidays are so exhausting! On today's show, I'm helping you figure out how to stay in balance this holiday season, with practical steps you can take today (yes, before the first family gathering even begins!). We're talking about how to catch ourselves when we're getting pulled into others' wants, needs and demands; 3 tips to connect back to self and how to set boundaries – with scripts for common, uncomfortable holiday situations. This is not about healing this tendency overnight, but it is possible to get activated less, even over the next four weeks of the holiday season. And with time, these practices can totally transform you out of people pleasing and codependency…and into a life of peace! Listen to discover: Why the holidays can be such an exhausting time for people pleasers and codependents What codependency is How to bring people pleasing and codependency into balance Three practices you can use to avoid exhaustion this holiday season (and how to implement them in tangible ways) Boundary scripts for holiday gatherings The tricky thing about people pleasing and codependency is that they make us so focused on others that we might not even know we have these habits! If you're always exhausted and you don't know why, take a look around and ask if this could be you. As I share in this episode, the first step towards healing this is awareness, so why not try the steps and see how you feel when you do? This might just be your best holiday ever! "I don't believe that we can 'heal' or transform our codependency in just a few short weeks…but you can begin the journey of transforming these habits." - Michelle Chalfant "What we really want to do is rewire the brain for balance." - Michelle Chalfant "Codependency, it's an addiction." - Michelle Chalfant "We're just living our lives exhausted and putting our attention outside of self." - Michelle Chalfant "It's really about connecting back to you." - Michelle Chalfant "We are doers instead of just being and being ok with self." - Michelle Chalfant "I'm not suggesting that you stop being a caring person. What I am suggesting is that you start with you first." - Michelle Chalfant "It's going to feel uncomfortable, but this is where the rewiring of our brains begins…It's beautifully uncomfortable." - Michelle Chalfant "The practices are going to change how you act and react and respond." - Michelle Chalfant "If you practice these things I just mentioned to you, boundaries become easier." - Michelle Chalfant "[Boundaries are] sharing with others what I feel and what I need." - Michelle Chalfant "Boundaries are your right." - Michelle Chalfant "The authentic you is in there. It's just covered up. This is how you uncover and discover the true, authentic you." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Open Now! https://theadultchair.com/certification Tanasi https://tanasi.com/ Use code ADULT for 50% off your first order MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We all know the feeling: someone says or does something, and we feel our heart rate go up, the heat rise in our body, and the anxiety or anger take over. We just got triggered! A trigger is an emotional reaction that we have to someone else's words or actions. They often catch us off guard and can flood us with "negative" emotions, and if we're not being conscious, our first reaction is usually to blame the person who triggered us. But triggers aren't about others; they're always about us! And after years of working with my own, I can honestly say that triggers are a GIFT! Triggers reveal unconscious beliefs to us – limiting, untrue beliefs that shape our reality and hold us back in life – and give us a chance to heal them. When we have the tools to work through them, we can harness the healing and awareness they hold for us instead of shoving them down, spiraling into negativity or lashing out at others. In this episode, I'm giving you the scoop on what triggers are, how they form and what they can tell us about ourselves, plus my go-to, hands-on steps for working with them. Listen to discover: What the heck a trigger is – and why triggers are a gift How triggers get formed Why your triggers and unconscious beliefs affect your life and your reality The role of projection in triggers Practical steps to work with triggers Triggers are never fun, but we don't have to get swept away by triggers or let them hijack our emotions. When we develop the skills to work with them, we can live with more peace and balance in every part of our lives…and get to know ourselves a lot better along the way. "[Triggers] are really key to our growth." - Michelle Chalfant "Our triggers are our responsibility." - Michelle Chalfant "Triggers belong to ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant "If someone outside of you is acting like that, it will not bother you unless you have the same quality inside of you." - Michelle Chalfant "The more we work on our stuff, the less we get triggered." - Michelle Chalfant "That's why I love triggers: because when we're triggered, it's like this belief that's been in the dark gets lifted out of the dark and into the light." - Michelle Chalfant "They help us to know the unknown that's deep inside of us." - Michelle Chalfant "When we get in touch with these unconscious beliefs, our lives begin to change." - Michelle Chalfant "You have to go into what scares you. That is how you transform it." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Happy Birthday, Michelle! Review The Adult Chair® Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Open Now! https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Realizing your partner is a narcissist or emotionally abusive and making the decision to leave can be one of the most liberating experiences of your life. But what if you're forever tied to this person because of a child you share together? What if you can take yourself out of the relationship but can't take the narcissist out of your life? Co-parenting with a highly toxic or abusive person adds a whole new dynamic to parenting and divorce. Your child needs more support than ever — and so do you as you heal. You not only have to figure out how to move forward, but you also have to learn how to handle high-conflict interactions with your ex without letting it drag you back into the old patterns that harmed you. Sarah Kamoto is a coach who specializes in helping people co-parent through high-conflict situations. After leaving the narcissistic father of her young child, she has walked this path and navigated everything from how to help your child process the unhealthy dynamics they're witnessing at the toxic parent's house to what to do when your ex tries to turn your child against you. In this episode, we dig deep into narcissistic relationships — the signs of a narcissistic relationship, why we experience grief when leaving, dating after leaving and so many questions I get asked about narcissism — plus how to thrive even when you have a high-conflict ex to contend with. Listen to discover: Common signs that you're in an emotionally abusive relationship The dynamics between narcissists and their adult children The process of grief when recognizing and leaving a narcissist Why it's counterproductive to confront a narcissist The difficulties of co-parenting with a toxic ex & how to navigate them Helping your children become emotionally healthy even with a toxic parent How to respond when your ex tries to turn your kids against you Scripts for talking to your children about divorce without pitting them against your ex Everyone deserves to have a beautiful life. You weren't put here to experience abuse or have your sense of self eroded. You, your children and your entire family can thrive after a narcissistic relationship, but it all starts within. It starts with you doing your work so you can model something different for your children and take the higher path even when your ex tries to tear you down. I hope this episode gives you new tools for growing your self-worth and practical ideas for navigating complex co-parenting situations. "They basically try to destroy who you are as a person." - Sarah Kamoto "They don't ever take responsibility, and they blame you for everything." - Michelle Chalfant "It's a slow erosion." - Sarah Kamoto "I realized that I couldn't have had self-love if I allowed someone to treat me in this way without setting my own boundaries." - Sarah Kamoto "I don't think emotionally healthy people end up in these relationships. You only become emotionally healthy when you've been forced to do this work." - Sarah Kamoto "Isn't the fact that you want more and deserve more enough?" - Sarah Kamoto "It's a lot easier just to switch victims and move on to somebody else than to actually go and do the inner healing work." - Sarah Kamoto "I think anything is possible. And for me it boils down to, 'How aware are you?'" - Michelle Chalfant "Life is too short. I want to live a beautiful life. Everyone deserves to live a beautiful life. We were not put on this earth to be treated in this way and downtrodden and abused." - Sarah Kamoto "Not all people with narcissistic traits are abusive." - Sarah Kamoto "You're trying to parent and you're trying to heal and you're trying to co-parent with somebody who is high conflict." - Sarah Kamoto "You need to differentiate who you are from who the other parent is." - Sarah Kamoto LINKS & RESOURCES Sarah Kamoto Instagram https://www.instagram.com/narc_proof_and_thriving/ Sarah Kamoto Website https://narcproofandthriving.com/ 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Open Now! https://theadultchair.com/certification Tanasi https://tanasi.com/ Use code ADULT for 50% off your first order MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You get an idea, you have something you want to do or you become aware of a change you want to make. The first thing you feel is excitement…and then suddenly, the fear hits. Your mind starts racing with all the bad things that could happen if you move forward with your idea. Some of these concerns might sound legitimate, which just adds to the confusion. How can you tell if you're making a decision out of fear or out of wisdom? How can you connect to your soul to know if something is right for you or not? In this episode, I'm giving you a quick and easy five-step process to overcome fear in decision-making. Using this process, you will learn how to identify the specific fears you have, how to figure out which of them are true (and which are just stories) and how to get out of your head and intuitively make a decision from your heart. Listen to discover: Why fear comes up when we are trying to make a decision How fear keeps us from making good decisions A five-step process to and overcome fear in decision-making How to make decisions from a heart-centered place instead of a fear-centered one Here's the thing: it's normal to feel fear when making a big decision, and at the same time, fear isn't always a sign that we shouldn't move forward. When we learn to unwind our stories and get into our bodies, we can tell the difference between empty fear and intuitive guidance and learn to make the decisions that are truly best for us. "We think that it's real, all of these fears, but what we find is most of them are not. They're just stories we're telling ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant "Write down as many as you can until you have exhausted that part of your brain that's kicking out all the fears." - Michelle Chalfant "The idea is you want to be able to see what thoughts you're having around the decision." - Michelle Chalfant "If it's not 100% fact and truth, you're gonna cross it off the list." - Michelle Chalfant "When you feel it in the body, it anchors in your new truth." - Michelle Chalfant "Fear is a stimulating emotion." - Michelle Chalfant "That takes us out of fight or flight. That puts us in the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the rest and relax. Then we can think clearly again." - Michelle Chalfant "Sometimes when we make decisions, there's a little bit of fear there. If fear is there, it doesn't mean that we shouldn't move forward." - Michelle Chalfant "We want to make soul-driven decisions." - Michelle Chalfant "We don't make the right decisions when we're only in our heads." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Open Now! https://theadultchair.com/certification Tanasi https://tanasi.com/ Use code ADULT for 50% off your first order MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

If you've spent any time in the therapy or self-help space, you've probably heard amazing stories from leaders and teachers who have had some sort of spiritual awakening. To the average person, these types of experiences might seem far off – something reserved for the gurus or super spiritual among us. But in my work, I want to know if all humans can awaken to their true self and how we do that. Andrew DeGregorio was not a guru when he had his awakening. An average 30-something guy who wasn't necessarily on a spiritual quest, his life totally changed when he had a near-death experience that led him to connect with something bigger than himself. As he went through a season of immense suffering following his injury and turned inward to ask deeper questions about himself, he began to recognize how much he was living from survival- and fear-based strategies and how much conditioning was covering up his true self. Then, one day, he had an indescribable experience of connecting with his true self and the pure Love we all come from, and he never looked back. Today, he helps others heal and return to their true selves through personal development, energy work, nervous system work and so much more…and he's walking proof that, yes, any of us can awaken! In this episode, Andrew shares his experience of awakening and the deep wisdom from his own journey. We talk about the ego, soul, God, the universe and how we can get out of projection, our programming and fear and live from a love-centered and soul-centered place every day. Listen to discover: Andrew's powerful story of awakening to his true self after a near-death experience What the ego is and the role it plays in our life Practical (and often counterintuitive) ways we can begin to awaken The energetic dynamics of projection and how it affects relationships What the soul is (the stuff we're actually made up of as humans) How our souls and personality work together to create our purpose How to create a soul-driven and love-driven business Navigating pain and depression from a soul-centered place This is such a deep conversation where we talk about some of the biggest questions of life and the universe, but it felt so practical and grounded (that's part of Andrew's magic!). As you listen, I invite you to open your mind and stretch your beliefs. I believe that simply asking these types of questions is one of the most important things we can do. When we open our mind to the possibilities that exist and surrender to something bigger than ourselves, we might be surprised at what we discover about ourselves, others and even God. "Awakening is a good word. That was a process that began to happen to me." - Andrew DeGregorio "I took radical responsibility for my reality and moving out of this victim mentality." - Andrew DeGregorio "In that moment, I had an experience of the truth of what I am, of what we are." - Andrew DeGregorio "When you see all the things that you're not, eventually you're going to realize the thing that you are." - Andrew DeGregorio "We walk around thinking we're this person, but we're actually not that at all." - Michelle Chalfant "When we come out of our conditioning, we start to realize there's a lot more to reality." - Andrew DeGregorio "Where we source our action…really matters. What's the energy behind our action?" - Andrew DeGregorio "We can choose to begin to awaken by turning inward within ourselves." - Andrew DeGregorio "The true self is in all of us, but it's covered up." - Michelle Chalfant "We actually need each other as mirrors." - Andrew DeGregorio "A simple request when there's projection involved becomes an attack."- Andrew DeGregorio "Slowing things down is really key." - Michelle Chalfant "The soul has a mission that it's here to do." - Andrew DeGregorio "If we are depressed, and we can just have that intention of surrendering to God while taking some action and really having compassion for ourselves and finding somebody that can support us, I think anybody can come back from it." - Andrew DeGregorio "Surrender is not complacent." - Andrew DeGregorio LINKS & RESOURCES Andrew DeGregorio Website https://www.andrewdegregorio.com/ "The Knock" (Andrew DeGregorio Book) https://www.amazon.com/Knock-Unexpected-Wake-Up-Call/dp/1949003051 The Adult Chair® Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When is a relationship worth fighting for and when is the only answer to walk away? Is it possible to work through dysfunctional patterns with a partner and get the outcomes you want? You know that I always say if there is physical abuse, GET OUT! But dysfunction exists on a spectrum, and just because someone has a personality disorder or dysfunctional traits doesn't mean they will always become abusive. In fact, many people in difficult relationships don't want to leave…they want to figure out how to make it work. Darlene Lancer, a licensed therapist and narcissism and codependency expert, joined me on the show today to help break down what abuse is, why abusive relationships are so hard to leave and the situations where someone with narcissistic traits can change and become a good partner…and when it's time to walk. She explains the five different types of abuse, the surprising and subtle ways it can show up and how our own childhood dynamics and emotional health play a role in how easily we can see and remove ourselves from abusive dynamics. Darlene also explains why some non-abusive people with narcissistic personality traits can learn how to be supportive partners and communicate in better ways and why it's necessary for codependents to build self-worth and change the dance with their partners. Listen to discover: Whether or not a narcissist can change What trauma bonding is and how it originates Why abusive relationships are so hard to leave The 5 different kinds of abuse Examples of subtle and not-so-subtle abuse The dynamics of codependency and narcissism Why people fall for dysfunctional partners and how to create healthier patterns in relationships This episode is not an invitation to try to change anyone. People – and especially narcissists – have to be self-aware and want to change for themselves before any transformation can happen. This episode is designed to help you understand the relationship between narcissism and codependency and what abuse looks like so you can more easily identify when it's time to get out vs. when there might be hope of working it out. "All mental illness exists on a continuum." - Darlene Lancer "If you suspect you're being abused, you probably are." - Darlene Lancer "When you're in a dysfunctional relationship, the person that you're with will want to isolate you." - Michelle Chalfant "[Narcissists] are all about impression management. Because of their inner low self-esteem and shame…they want to make you admire them." - Darlene Lancer "An abuser isn't abusive all the time." - Darlene Lancer "If it feels off in some way, it probably is." - Michelle Chalfant "Narcissists' demands are relentless, and you'll never satisfy them." - Darlene Lancer "Projection is a confession." - Darlene Lancer "Blaming and shaming is pretty universal with abusers. And the problem is that codependents have shame of their own." - Darlene Lancer "Some idealization is normal, but when it clouds the negative behavior and it overtakes your reason, then that's a sign of some problem within us." - Darlene Lancer "A narcissist...doesn't see people as separate from them where a codependent doesn't see themselves as separate from others." - Darlene Lancer "Codependents, they want to get along, so they'll compromise. And you keep compromising away until you disappear." - Darlene Lancer LINKS & RESOURCES Darlene Lancer Website https://darlenelancer.com/ "Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist" (Darlene Lancer Book) https://www.amazon.com/Dating-Loving-Leaving-Narcissist-Relationships/dp/0578373181/ Episode #257: Unlearning Codependency with Darlene Lancer https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/257/ National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/help/ The Adult Chair® Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville Tanasi https://tanasi.com/ Use code ADULT for 50% off your first order MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Kute Blackson is no stranger to miracles. Growing up the son of a spiritual leader in Ghana, Africa, Kute witnessed healings and transformation that were nothing short of awe-inspiring. But when he realized it wasn't his calling to take over his father's ministry in the way his family expected, it led him on a challenging and transformational journey of his own: one in which he discovered the magic of surrender and how it can heal our lives. In this episode, Kute delivers so much wisdom about what surrender really is (it's not passive like you might think ), the role of the ego in our lives, why the challenges we face are an essential part of our soul's journey and how to let go and live open to the possibilities – the miracles – life holds for us. Listen to discover: ● Kute's story of courageously following his calling even in the face of adversity ● Why challenging experiences are essential to our soul's growth ● What surrender actually is and why it's so powerful ● How to tell when we're in the flow ● What to do when you feel stuck and are struggling to surrender ● Where resistance comes from ● Why surrender requires grieving what we think we know and how it opens us up to more love and joy Each of us is here with a purpose, and even the difficult moments in our lives hold something important for our growth. When we can relinquish control and what we think our lives should look like, we discover that there are divine possibilities beyond what our mind can even think of or dream up…and what a truly exciting, miraculous journey that is! "Those challenges [don't] mean you're on the wrong path. It sometimes means you're on the right path; you just have to go through, on a human level, the soul test." - Kute Blackson "Forgiveness frees you." - Michelle Chalfant "It doesn't mean that when something difficult is in your path, it's not God-inspired, soul-inspired." - Michelle Chalfant "Life is a university for our soul's evolution…We're always succeeding when we're learning the lessons, even if it's difficult." - Kute Blackson "In our culture, we have this misconception that surrender is weak." - Kute Blackson "In true surrender and letting go, what if you actually got more than you could have intended and planned with the limited concept of your own mind?" - Kute Blackson "Surrender is when we stop trying to force life to fit into our limited idea of what we think it should look like." - Kute Blackson "Many of our goals are often projections of unmet needs from our childhood." - Kute Blackson "The mind is constantly seeking to understand why…which is another form of control." - Kute Blackson "It's the journey that brings us the happiness." - Michelle Chalfant "Many times people think that they're feeling the feeling, but they're actually thinking about the feeling." - Kute Blackson "To truly surrender requires the willingness to move through the portal of grieving." - Kute Blackson LINKS & RESOURCES Kute Blackson Website https://kuteblackson.com/ Kute Blackson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kuteblackson/ "The Magic of Surrender" (Kute Blackson Book) https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Surrender-Finding-Courage-Let/dp/0593189094 Kute's Bali Retreat https://www.boundlessblissbali.com/ The Adult Chair Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You guys know I'm a huge believer in meditation for its emotional and spiritual benefits. It's one of the greatest tools I've found for personal growth and living a more peaceful life. But it turns out that meditation also has a major impact on the brain, from our fear response to how well we sleep at night. In this show, we take a deeper look at meditation through the lens of neuroscience alongside neuroscientist and brain expert Ariel Garten. In this fascinating show with a fascinating guest, Ariel talks about what meditation is (and what it's not), the benefits of meditation and how it positively affects the brain – backed by tons of research and data. And in case the studies she cites aren't enough, she actually invented a smart headband called Muse that monitors brain activity and gives you biofeedback to help you calm your busy mind, sleep better and measure the real benefits of a meditation practice! How cool is that?! This episode will give you the scoop on all the science behind fear, how our brains get wired for anxiety, how the brain contributes to sleep and the power to choose thoughts that heal our brain instead of hurting it. Listen to discover: What meditation is and what it does for the brain How to get started with a meditation practice The benefits of meditation (with data to prove it) The amygdala, the fight or flight response and how it connects to meditation What happens to the brain during sleep + the two mechanisms that govern sleep The 5 essentials of a good night's sleep The neuroscience of anxiety I absolutely love when science helps back up and explain ancient wisdom, and there's no arguing with the info Ariel shares. We NEED to be meditating as humans! If you don't currently meditate, start small (even 5 or 10 minutes a day has major brain-boosting benefits) and consider using tools like Muse to help you build a habit. I promise you won't regret it! "Meditation is not a weird or woo woo thing. Meditation is a practice or a training that leads to healthy and positive mind states." - Ariel Garten "Meditation is a practice. It's not something we can ever master." - Michelle Chalfant "Meditation is about learning to observe your thinking and then be able to make a different choice." - Ariel Garten "Our amygdala is really there to save us from the bad things in the world, but it goes way overboard." - Ariel Garten "Just eight weeks of meditation led to actual change in the brain." - Ariel Garten "The trick with anxiety is just to realize it's just a broken alarm." - Ariel Garten "In meditation, you have the thoughts that come. You rise up above them. You notice that you're having thoughts and you don't get sucked in." - Ariel Garten "We forget how powerful we are, that we can actually choose our thoughts." - Michelle Chalfant "We fall victim to our thoughts all the time." - Michelle Chalfant "One of the things that may be happening in somebody who has a hyper-reactive emotional state is that they've spent a long time engaging with that emotional state." - Ariel Garten "The thoughts in your mind and the emotions in your body don't need to trap you into yourself and into a small way of living your life." - Ariel Garten LINKS & RESOURCES Muse https://choosemuse.com/ Use code POD10 for 10% off Muse Social Media @choosemuse Ariel Garten Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ariels_musings Untangle (Ariel Garten podcast) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/untangle/id1073460738 The Adult Chair Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We were all created with a purpose, but so many of us feel disconnected from who we are and why we're here. We get bogged down by everyday life, social pressure and the need to make money, and we get stuck in survival mode. Many of us don't even know what our passion is! But you were made for more! You were made to live a life of joy and passion that lights you up inside…and it's never too late to find that. In this show, I'm giving you five hands-on steps to uncover your passion and purpose in life. This episode will take you on an exciting journey of self-discovery that will reconnect you back to yourself in a profound way and discover why your beautiful soul is here on this planet. So, grab a pen and paper and follow along with me, or listen for the tips and do the exercises at a later date. But I promise, if you go through this process, you WILL discover more about what your purpose is…and how to start taking action towards it! Listen to discover: 5 hands-on steps for finding your passion and purpose 3 lists you can make to uncover your passion today Affirmations for finding your passion and purpose How to keep fear and inaction from getting in the way Our purpose in life isn't rigid. It might be more than one thing. It might change over the years. The way we live it out might evolve. This is why it's so important that we learn how to tune into our intuition and take the next step on the illuminated path in each season of life. When we let go of exactly what it should look like and instead embrace the exciting journey of life, we will be able to respond to the nudges we get from our soul and experience the joy of living in the flow…our unique path, designed around our gifts, passions and purpose. "Hopefully, your purpose lights you up and you feel passionate about it." - Michelle Chalfant "The body knows why we're here." - Michelle Chalfant "Use your heart and your body as a navigation system that will lead you down a path to help you to find your passion and purpose." - Michelle Chalfant "Every soul on the planet has gifts." - Michelle Chalfant "What you hear, you have to take action on." - Michelle Chalfant "That soul, it's connected to something way bigger than us. It's got a vision for our whole life." - Michelle Chalfant "You are wise beyond your knowledge." - Michelle Chalfant "Life is happening through you all the time." - Michelle Chalfant "Feel your fear and do it anyway." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Certified Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the Waitlist! https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Grief, anger, sadness, fear…YUCK! I don't know anyone who likes to feel these emotions. I get emails from you guys all the time asking how to get rid of "negative" emotions like these. But are these emotions really negative? Or do they serve a purpose in our lives? While some emotions might feel more unpleasant than others, I personally don't believe any emotion is negative. All emotions are part of the human experience and carry information for us. However, they can create negative experiences in life when we get stuck in them. The problem isn't the emotions; it's that we don't know what to do with them! In this show, I'm teaching you how to work through the full range of emotions you were designed to experience as a human and how to get unstuck if you find yourself lost in anger, grief or fear. You'll discover practical steps for feeling your emotions in a way that allows them to move through you, no matter how you saw emotions modeled growing up. Listen to discover: Why "negative" emotions serve a purpose in life The messages we receive about emotions as children What causes emotions to get stuck Practical steps to feel emotions and move them through you Emotions are simply energy that moves through our body and creates sensation. And on the spectrum of emotions from love to fear, some feel better than others…but because they are energy, they can ALL move through us (and move through us quickly). Problems arise when emotions come up that we don't want to feel. We avoid them and shut them down, which makes us more likely to get stuck in these "negative" experiences. That's why we have to start going INTO our emotions, no matter how uncomfortable it might feel. When you do this, you'll be surprised how quickly they move through you...and what powerful insights they might hold for you. ​​"We're human, and humans were created to have emotions. We were created to have a range of emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "There's an energy to emotions that rises up and passes through us." - Michelle Chalfant "I don't even like to call emotions on the fear end of the spectrum 'negative.'" - Michelle Chalfant "Anger propels us forward." - Michelle Chalfant "Energy is always in motion, and emotions are energy." - Michelle Chalfant "Something that keeps emotions stuck is a story." - Michelle Chalfant "Just let it go and be present with whatever is coming up." - Michelle Chalfant "When you put pen to paper, you're tapping into your unconscious world." - Michelle Chalfant "There's power when someone is witnessing what's going on in our inner world." - Michelle Chalfant "If you feel the energy of peace, it's neutral." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES The Adult Chair Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

If there's one thing that most cases of narcissistic abuse have in common, it's that the narcissist has an incredible ability to blindside their victims. Nearly every story starts out with someone meeting a wonderful, charming person until suddenly their dark side comes out. Sometimes the abuse can be so subtle that the victim doesn't notice it's happening until it's broken them down. The gaslighting can be so intense that even the strongest person can wonder if they're the crazy one and if it's all their fault. Narcissism is so, so sinister. This was what happened to Melanie Tonia Evans after she married what seemed like a wonderful man, before she even knew what a narcissist was. His abuse eventually pushed her into a breakdown that became a moment of healing, as it revealed to her the unhealed places in herself. Today, she has developed her own energy healing method to heal trauma at the soul level – beyond the conscious mind – and help others recover from narcissistic abuse. In the episode, Melanie talks about the keys to recognizing and healing from narcissistic abuse, how her experience with narcissism led her to healing her own self-worth and inner child and how she eventually learned to love who she really was and become whole. Listen to discover: The dynamics of a narcissistic relationship How Melanie discovered the unhealed places in herself that attracted her to a narcissistic partner Why it's so hard to leave a narcissist How to heal from narcissistic abuse in your inner world Next steps when leaving a relationship with a narcissist The difference between a survivor and thriver The #1 mistake people make when trying to recover from narcissistic abuse I'm so thankful that narcissism is more widely talked about. While the narcissist is cunning, with the tools to recognize narcissism and become our emotionally healthy true selves, I hope more and more of us can see through the narcissist's careful image and stop being blindsided by abuse. "What really scared me the most was how I started tolerating behaviors I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be tolerating." - Melanie Tonia Evans "One of the biggest realizations I had in that epiphany moment was that he was treating me identically to how I'd been treating myself." - Melanie Tonia Evans "I had plenty of understanding from the chin up, but I wasn't standing in who I was." - Melanie Tonia Evans "When the person leaves, the narcissist does go after the person that leaves, and it's not pretty." - Michelle Chalfant "There's got to be a sense of the inner strength and empowerment in order to leave." - Michelle Chalfant "The narcissist is a black and white individual." - Melanie Tonia Evans "You're either serving the false self, where you're amazing. And if you want to get away or you're not, well then you are absolute trash." - Melanie Tonia Evans "The victim often looks like the perpetrator." - Melanie Tonia Evans "We actually thrive, not despite what happened to us, but literally because of what happened for us." - Melanie Tonia Evans LINKS & RESOURCES Melanie Tonia Evans Website https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/ Melanie Tonia Evans Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program https://courses.melanietoniaevans.com/p/narp Melanie Tonia Evans Masterclass https://www.recoverhealthrive.com/ The Adult Chair Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Anne Moss Rogers will never forget the day she got the news that no parent wants to hear: her son had died. And then a second piece of news came like a punch to the gut: he had died by suicide. Anne Moss and her husband knew he had been struggling with alcohol and drugs, but they didn't realize he had been using substances to mask thoughts of suicide. On top of their loss and grief, they were forced to wrestle with the questions that often come in the wake of suicide: Did they miss the signs? Was there more they could have done? How could such a wonderful person like their son feel so hopeless? In this episode, Anne Moss shares her powerful story of surviving and healing after her son's death, how she overcame the questions and guilt that come when someone close dies by suicide and her work as a mental health and suicide prevention speaker, reaching others who are hurting and educating people on the signs of suicide. Anne Moss uses her expertise to pull back the curtain on a tough topic that we often want to sweep under the rug and gives practical advice on how to talk about suicide, how to help someone who might be contemplating suicide and how to process grief following a suicide. Listen to discover: Anne Moss's story and how she has processed the grief of her son's death How Anne Moss overcame the guilt and questions surrounding her son's death The increasing rates of suicide among young people and what might be driving it The signs that someone might be contemplating suicide What to say and what not to say to someone contemplating suicide Correct language for describing suicide Tips for parents concerned about their children Suicide is becoming a rising cause of death, especially among young people, and while it's a tough topic to talk about, it's one that is too important to ignore. In fact, 86% of people who think about suicide let their intentions be known in some way. Anne Moss's advice in this episode helps us know how to approach this topic with empathy and boldness and how to walk alongside a child or friend who might be struggling. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, please call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org/ to talk to someone who will offer you support and understanding with zero judgment. You don't have to walk through this alone. "Our love isn't what prevents suicides." - Anne Moss Rogers "They don't leave because they don't love you...they leave because they are in pain or a place of deep despair." - Anne Moss Rogers "It is really hard for a lot of humans to walk in and sit with someone in their tragedy." - Anne Moss Rogers "Time removed [grief's] fangs." - Anne Moss Rogers "You cannot push pain away. You have to go straight into it to heal it." - Michelle Chalfant "I'd rather somebody be mad at me than dead." - Anne Moss Rogers "Your job is to listen with empathy...allowing another person to feel heard is the absolute greatest gift you can give to another human." - Anne Moss Rogers "86% of those who thought about suicide let their intentions be known in some way." - Anne Moss Rogers LINKS & RESOURCES Anne Moss Rogers Blog www.emotionallynaked.com Anne Moss Rogers Website https://annemossrogers.com/ "Diary of a Broken Mind" (Anne Moss Rogers book) https://www.amazon.com/DIARY-BROKEN-MIND-Mothers-Haunting/dp/0998788163 Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call or text 988 https://988lifeline.org/ The Adult Chair Workshop Nashville: November 3-5, 2022 https://theadultchair.com/nashville MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

As humans, we tell ourselves stories all the time, every day. As we go through life, we try to make sense of our circumstances by making assumptions, filling in blanks and telling ourselves stories about why things are the way they are. The problem? 97% of the time, these stories aren't true! These untrue stories and assumptions that we believe create SO much unnecessary stress, anxiety and pain…they can even destroy our relationships. In this show, I chat with my good friend and fellow life coach, Claudine Sweeney, about the time that stories and assumptions almost ended our 15-year friendship. This hilarious story is an incredible example of how easily we can all fall into story and the domino effect assumptions have on our lives and our relationships. It's only because we chose to be truth seekers that we were able to clear up the misunderstanding and save our friendship! In this show, we're sharing practical tips for how you can bust stories and live as a truth seeker…and save yourself a whole lot of stress, pain and drama in the process! Listen to discover: The (now) hilarious story of how Claudine and I almost lost our friendship ALL because of assumptions Why our brains so easily create stories How our past experiences can feed our stories and assumptions Steps to bust stories and unwind assumptions How to change your life by choosing better, more conscious thoughts The power of giving others the benefit of the doubt and seeking a higher perspective Stories and assumptions are a vicious cycle because once we have a story in our mind, our ego collects all the evidence to validate that story. We suddenly only see things that reinforce our beliefs. It takes courage to slow down, question our thoughts and ask others for clarity, facts and truth…but it's what we do from our Adult Chair! We don't just make assumptions about our own lives; we make assumptions about others around us all the time. We assume we know what type of person someone is and what type of experience they've had in life because of where they live or what they look like or stereotypes and prejudices we hold. How often do assumptions lead to anger, division and even hate? By being curious, giving people the benefit of the doubt and leading with love, we not only change our lives and our relationships, but we might even change the world. "Stories and assumptions are things that plague every aspect of our lives." - Michelle Chalfant "And all of the sudden that lack of invitation becomes this whole story and there's so many assumptions and it can really destroy relationships." - Claudine Sweeney "We collect data to reinforce the story…The eyes and the brain will sort for anything to reinforce what my belief is." - Michelle Chalfant "What we do as healthy adults is we learn to bust those stories." - Michelle Chalfant "Our pasts come into play here." - Claudine Sweeney "Blame is all from the ego." - Michelle Chalfant "[We] believe our feelings are fact and truth." - Claudine Sweeney "97% of the time that we're in stories and assumptions, they're incorrect." - Michelle Chalfant "If someone comes at us and treats us in an unkind way, we have to consider the circumstance." - Michelle Chalfant "I challenge and encourage my clients to get curious, not critical." - Claudine Sweeney "We fall victim to our negative, unconscious thoughts." - Michelle Chalfant "When I learned that my thoughts generated my emotions…it was mind-blowing and absolutely changed my life." - Claudine Sweeney LINKS & RESOURCES Claudine Sweeney Website https://claudinesweeney.com/ Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We've all heard that relationships are hard work…but why are they so hard? And what does healthy hard work look like versus putting up with behavior we shouldn't? Dr. Stan Tatkin has a unique approach to answering these questions by looking at relationships through the lens of psychobiology. This means understanding how our brain, our body, our nervous system and our survival instincts can contribute to and work against healthy relationships. Yes, it's as fascinating as it sounds! In this episode, we talk about how our self-preservation instincts can keep us from experiencing deep relationships and sabotage our happiness, how attachment and projection work, why we pick partners that feel familiar to us and how we can work against the brain's tendency to "get used to" our partners and keep the spark alive! Listen to discover: How our survival brains sometimes work against us in relationships Why we pick the partners we do Why relationships change after marriage What projection is and how it works The power of a purpose-centered relationship Practical habits for getting out of self-preservation mode and working towards the good of your relationship How to handle conflict in a relationship The biological reason relationships lose their spark and why curiosity is a game changer Dr. Tatkin talks about how great partnerships are built not just on love and emotions but shared values, principles and goals. When the partnership develops its own identity and vision, it helps us look beyond ourselves and seek the good of the whole instead of just the good of ourselves. This way of thinking and the habits that go along with it create powerful loyalty, intimacy and love that grows with time. This episode will help you work with your human nature to build stronger, more mutually fulfilling relationships with your love…and who doesn't want that?! "[Secure functioning relationships] are built on full equality, parity, fairness, justice, sensitivity, collaboration and cooperation. That's a very simple idea that's hard to do." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "When we are threatened or under-resourced, under stress, we are more likely to act and react automatically." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "We have brains that are always aware of what's missing...what we don't have." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "We are picking partners that look familiar, feel familiar in some way." - Michelle Chalfant "It makes sense that we would pick somebody that's familiar enough to get close to but stranger enough to be interested in." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "We are in projection all the time." - Michelle Chalfant "We've never lived outside our heads, and we never will. It's all perception." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "When being in a relationship, one has to surrender that their perception is correct, that their reality is correct, in favor of the relationship." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "We're inter-dependent, which means we have the same things to lose and the same things to gain." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "[Our partner is] a stranger that we're always trying to get to know." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "Humans have a hard time with ownership and apologizing." - Michelle Chalfant "A purpose-based relationship is a commitment to do the right thing when it's the hardest thing to do." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "When you become ordinary is when I look for the unique and novel in you. That's my job." - Dr. Stan Tatkin LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Stan Tatkin Website https://www.thepactinstitute.com/ Dr. Stan Tatkin Retreats for Couples https://www.thepactinstitute.com/retreats Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We all experience emotions, but most of us don't really understand what emotions are. These feelings can drastically alter our day, our life and our experience in the world, yet they're intangible and often messy and confusing. It's no wonder many of us try to avoid them altogether. Well, get ready to have your mind blown and to see emotions in a whole new light in this brilliant episode with Dr. Joan Rosenberg. Dr. Rosenberg began her study of emotions when she was trying to figure out what made some people confident in life, and her finding was surprising: confidence didn't just come from a sense of self-esteem but from our ability to handle uncomfortable emotions. As she dug deeper into the human emotional experience, she uncovered a world of surprises around our understanding of emotions and how we can better process, experience and master our emotions. We talked about why emotions are so uncomfortable for us (it's not why you think), what a compliment really is and why it matters so much, what drives fear, anxiety and grief, our fears around emotions and how we get stuck in emotion. Dr. Joan also shares her formula for feeling, experiencing and expressing the eight core emotions in an authentic way that helps them truly move through us. Listen to discover: The unexpected key to building confidence "The Rosenberg Reset" formula to build confidence The 3 things that cause our uncomfortable feelings to linger (it's not the feelings themselves!) Steps to build more confidence The true power of a compliment (this one left me speechless) What's actually underneath fear and anxiety Why we need to both feel AND express our emotions As much as I talk about emotions, I was still left speechless more than once in this episode as Dr. Rosenberg got to the heart of what is really beneath certain emotions and my perspective was shifted in so many ways. This is a truly empowering show that will help you live a more balanced and confident life. "We need to learn as humans how to feel our emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "The ability or the capacity to handle unpleasant feelings really is the foundation of confidence." - Dr Joan Rosenberg "I think of confidence as the deep sense that you can handle the emotional outcome of whatever you face or whatever you pursue." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg "We're one interconnected whole...The brain is always feeding information to the body, and the body is always feeding information to the brain." Dr. Joan Rosenberg "It comes down to handling short-lived bodily sensation waves." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg "100% of the time that sensation morphs and vanishes if they stay with it." - Michelle Chalfant "We metabolize feeling by feeling it and expressing it." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg "If you want to stop your ruminating thoughts, you have to feel the emotion that's underneath the rumination." - Michelle Chalfant "I think of the ability to speak up as the superglue to confidence." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg "A compliment is a reflection of you back to you." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg "What looks like arrogance is insecurity." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg "Disguised grief is the gap between what we wanted, what we needed, what we felt we deserved and what we really got." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Joan Rosenberg https://drjoanrosenberg.com/ "90 Seconds to a Life You Love" (Dr. Joan Rosenberg book) https://www.amazon.com/Seconds-Life-You-Love-Authenticity/dp/1478999764 Dr. Joan Rosenberg TED Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKy19WzkPxE MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You think you're a good person, you genuinely love your partner and you try to do the right thing …so why are you struggling in your relationship? Why do you and your partner feel unhappy, disconnected and maybe even headed for divorce? These are the questions Matt Fray asked himself after his marriage ended. He knew he was a decent guy. He knew he had loved his wife, been faithful and done the things he thought he was "supposed" to do in a marriage – yet one day she came to him and asked for a divorce. As he walked through the grief and pain of that experience, he began a journey of self-reflection and blogging to try to understand what went wrong and how people can truly have healthy relationships. What he uncovered was a series of small habits and dynamics that added up in his relationship and eroded trust and safety over time…and that these dynamics exist in nearly all relationships, including relationships made up of good people who really do love each other. Now, he's on a mission to help good people become good partners by understanding the root of relationship problems and how to fix them. In this episode, Matt reveals the invisible habits that kill relationships, how we can turn our relationships around and how to build trust, safety and lifelong love. Listen to discover: Matt's story of his marriage ending and what he did next The habits and blind spots that damage and even destroy our relationships The three ways we invalidate people unintentionally Why defensiveness can be so damaging The importance of empathy and consideration in relationships How to break the cycle of invalidation and build trust and safety Nothing in life is static. Either we're cultivating our relationships and on a trajectory of trust or we're neglecting our relationships and on a trajectory of breakdown. Too often, we can't see this trajectory until it all falls apart. I love Matt's work because he's helping us open our eyes to the invisible ways we're either creating or damaging our relationships, even when things seem "fine," and giving us one of the most important gifts a person can have: the power of choice to do things differently and change the trajectory we're on. "There's so much power in that 'I'm not alone' experience." - Matt Fray "That's when healing truly began — when I took ownership and responsibility for my lot in life." - Matt Fray "When you think you're a good person, it's so easy to not accept responsibility for harm that's being experienced by someone else."- Matt Fray "Very good people who really, truly love each other can do this to one another." - Matt Fray "Once you associate invalidation with the erosion of trust, then you can make the conscious decision to validate." - Matt Fray "When we go through something unusual, it is our job to share, 'You know, I really need help with this,' and it's our partner's job to show up and say, 'I've got you.'" - Michelle Chalfant "It's not about being right – it's being there in it with that person." - Michelle Chalfant "The low-hanging fruit…is 'I'm not going to invalidate.'" - Matt Fray LINKS & RESOURCES Matt Fray Website https://matthewfray.com/ "This Is How Your Marriage Ends" (Matt Fray book) https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Marriage-Ends-Relationships/dp/0063072254/ "The Mask You Live In" Documentary https://therepproject.org/films/the-mask-you-live-in/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

The world around us demands so much of us. If we're not careful, it can erode our souls, steal our true selves and get us to believe lies about the source of our worth. We have to become conscious and aware to step into our true power and a whole, awakened life. I have been a huge fan of Dr. Shefali for years. I got SO much out of her work on conscious parenting when my kids were young, and it's no wonder she's become so well known for her work. But her new book might just be my favorite yet — I truly couldn't put it down (it's SO aligned with The Adult Chair®) — and I'm beyond thrilled to have her on the show to discuss how to have a radical (and beautiful) awakening in life. In this conversation, we explore the way our ego and our social conditioning covers up the true self and keeps us from living free lives. This can be especially true for those oriented towards giving, nurturing and connecting. Society takes these gifts and trains us to be outward focused, seeking praise, validation and approval instead of turning inward and claiming who we really are. Dr. Shefali shares her own story of awakening, when she realized that despite her work, she was living in the "matrix" and ignoring her true wants and needs to try to get love from others (what she calls the "beggar" mentality). By going deep into the often difficult work of looking at the ego and the masks we all wear, she was able to strip away the lies and see what was true — and step into the authentic self-love and self-care we all deserve. Listen to discover: Shefali's own radical awakening The trap women (and men) fall into How to stop suppressing the true self What soul erosion is and how it forms The "triple threat" women face in childhood The role of the ego in our life What keeps us from awakening (especially in our culture) This is a profound conversation that will take the blinders off and change what you think is normal, while inspiring you to strive for what is truly possible for you — and for all of us. "We, women especially, need to snap out of our chronic civility, helplessness and unworthiness." - Dr. Shefali "We cannot waste our life never discovering our true self." - Dr. Shefali "When we're told we can only be given worth when we put others before ourselves, now that giving heart leads to an obliteration of ourselves." - Dr. Shefali "We're so disconnected from our true self, we don't know who we are at all." - Michelle Chalfant "The way out is in. We have to go in to heal." - Michelle Chalfant "I want what's on the other side of that wall, but you got to go through the wall, and the wall is our pain." - Michelle Chalfant "We tell ourselves the greatest stories in the world, and we don't know we're telling ourselves stories." - Dr. Shefali "The greatest narcissism is to pretend you're not a queen or a king and not own your voice." - Dr. Shefali Resources "A Radical Awakening" Book and Course http://aradicalawakening.com/ Dr. Shefali Website https://www.drshefali.com/ Free Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild More Adult Chair The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Do you know what anxiety really feels like? I'm not talking about the emotions of fear or stress, but what it feels like in your body. So many of us live with anxiety and don't even know it because it's SO physical. It's even easy to mistake it for physical disease, like heart issues or digestive issues. That was the case for Abbe Greenberg and Maggie Sarachek, two soul sisters who are both mental health professionals and the founders of Anxiety Sisters, a supportive community for those living with anxiety. Though they can now see how their anxiety began showing up in early childhood, for years, they bounced from doctor to doctor and even spent time in the hospital before realizing the root cause of their suffering was anxiety. This began their passion to help raise awareness around anxiety and help anxiety sufferers learn how to live full, happy lives – anxiety and all. We had an incredible conversation about all things anxiety and how to heal it, and I resonated with so many parts of their story…these ladies are the real deal! Listen to discover: Our stories of recognizing and healing anxiety How anxiety manifests as physical symptoms The power of acceptance in managing anxiety Why connection is key to healing anxiety How to pack a "spin kit" so you'll be prepared when anxiety strikes The difference between anxiety and a panic attack How to overcome phobias and agoraphobia I know I have a lot of favorite topics, but anxiety is one I really feel we can't talk about enough. Too many people in the world are suffering from anxiety without even knowing it, and we have so many tools – from our support system to our sensory system – to help us find peace and balance in life. It's not about never feeling anxious again, but learning how to find your own brand of happiness and how to take charge so anxiety no longer runs the show. "I still didn't have the vocabulary or the words to make these connections of what I was feeling and how that was connected to anxiety." - Maggie Sarachek "Anxiety becomes really debilitating when it's in the driver's seat." - Abbe Greenberg "I think there is this process of accepting anxiety." - Maggie Sarachek "Acceptance doesn't mean anything other than, 'This is where I am.'" - Michelle Chalfant "Our brand of happy is anxious happy." - Abbe Greenberg "Anxiety can no longer sneak up on you. And when it can't sneak up on you, it takes away two thirds of its power." - Abbe Greenberg "No two people have the same exact anxiety and panic." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Anxiety Sisters Website https://anxietysisters.com/ Anxiety Sisters Facebook https://www.facebook.com/anxietysisters *Home of a Tuesday night book club + supportive community The Spin Cycle (Anxiety Sisters Podcast) https://anxietysisters.com/podcasts/ "The Anxiety Sisters' Survival Guide" (Anxiety Sisters Book) https://anxietysisters.com/anxiety-sisters-survival-guide/ The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We all have limiting beliefs that hold us back in life. But what if you've experienced significant trauma as well? How do you distinguish between a trauma response and limiting or negative thinking? How do you find the power to heal when things have happened that were out of your control? My guest today, Michael Unbroken, has an intense and powerful story of overcoming unspeakable trauma, growing up with abuse, addiction and homelessness. At one point, he wanted to end his own life. But he made a decision to live, and in doing so, discovered that the only path forward started within. In this incredible conversation, Michael shares how he was able to break the cycle of trauma in his life and consciously choose a different path for himself. This is an inspiring and vulnerable conversation that will challenge you to take ownership of your life, treat yourself with grace and kindness and live life fully! Listen to discover: Michael's incredible story of healing from trauma and turning his life around The steps for overcoming limiting beliefs How to get past fear and start living your life How to actually change your life (and why you have to get out of the way first) The power of vulnerability The importance of a mentor Transforming limiting beliefs starts with taking ownership of the way we think about life, no matter what we've been through. What happened to us is not our fault, but it does become our job to take responsibility for it and make a choice to create the healthy, whole life we want to live. We all have the power to do this, and I hope this episode inspires you to find everything that's possible for you. "It's never going to be one thing that changes your life." - Michael Unbroken "What you think becomes what you speak. What you speak becomes your actions, and your actions become your reality." - Michael Unbroken "If we're sitting waiting for someone to rescue us, we're in the seat of the victim." - Michelle Chalfant "We have to create different. We have to create better. If we want a different life, we have to make different choices." - Michelle Chalfant "It will change everything about the fabric of your experience of this life when you're willing to be real." - Michael Unbroken LINKS & RESOURCES Michael Unbroken Website https://www.thinkunbroken.com/ Michael Unbroken Podcast https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/ Michael Unbroken Instagram https://www.instagram.com/michaelunbroken/ Michael Unbroken Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MichaelUnbroken/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Sometimes, it takes losing everything you know to start over and begin the journey of healing. Caroline Strawson is an internationally recognized trauma-informed therapist and coach who helps her clients recover from narcissistic abuse and complex PTSD and create thriving lives. Her journey began with her own story of loss when, in a very short period of time, her mother passed away, her narcissistic husband left her and their two young children and she discovered he had gotten them into $100,000 of debt, leading to the loss of her home and the life she had built. Facing PTSD, anxiety, depression, self-harm, guilt and shame, Caroline turned inward and took a close look at herself, her life and her relationships – and has since become a leader in trauma-informed recovery and healing from abuse. In this conversation, Caroline shares her story of overcoming narcissistic abuse, how she finally recognized the abuse and how she began the journey of healing. She offers deep insights into how childhood wounding forms, how we develop "protector parts" and how those parts can lead to struggles like codependency and narcissism. She is a wealth of knowledge on trauma, how we get stuck in life, and how to move forward. Listen to discover: The source of childhood wounding and trauma How our nervous system is designed to protect us Why codependents and narcissists are magnets for each other (and why it's easier for the codependent to change) How we can feel compassion for wounded people without accepting abuse Why people stay in abusive relationships and how to help a friend in an abusive relationship The difference between PTSD and complex PTSD How to begin building self-worth even if you're still in an abusive relationship Whether you've been in a relationship with a narcissist or not, you will get SO much out of this episode and gain a greater understanding of why you do what you do, what is going on in your brain in relation to trauma, and how to heal your wounding so you can form healthier relationships with self and others. "Initially I was waiting for that epiphany of him changing to then be ok for me to move forward. And of course, that isn't the case. Because we can't change anybody." - Caroline Strawson "Trauma isn't a person. It's not an event. It's what I feel and what I'm saying to myself about those events." - Caroline Strawson "Our system all of the time is working to keep us safe, keep us alive, protect us, and move us away from the biggest perceived pain." - Caroline Strawson "No narcissist is born. They are created from their childhood." - Caroline Strawson "The codependent is giving, giving, giving trying to soothe their self-worthiness wounds. The narcissist is like, 'Give it to me. I'll take, take, take,' to soothe their self-worthiness wounds." - Caroline Strawson "I think of narcissism on a scale." - Michelle Chalfant "When we're in these relationships, our reality is so distorted. To build self-worth is to then start seeing reality much clearer." - Michelle Chalfant "Grounding and getting all five senses online also helps us with our reality. We stop doubting ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Caroline Strawson Website https://www.carolinestrawson.com/ Caroline Strawson Facebook https://www.facebook.com/carolinestrawson/ Caroline Strawson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ "Divorce Became My Superpower" (Caroline Strawson Book) https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Caroline-Strawson/dp/1726255549 MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

It can be difficult to stay positive in today's world. Not only do we all have an inner critic trying to send negative self-talk our way, but with 24-hour news coming at us, social media, polarization, and fear and anger in the world, it is so easy to get pulled into energy that doesn't serve us or uplift us. It's no wonder that so many of us struggle with mental health, anxiety, and depression. Ione Butler also struggled with depression most of her life and went on a self-healing journey to learn how to overcome it. On her journey, she realized how much negativity she was seeing in the world around her and how bad it was making her feel, so she went on a mission to start a content platform with only uplifting content. The standard for what makes it onto the platform is simply, "Does it make you feel good?" Learning to get really conscious about what she consumed, finding passion and joy in the everyday moments, and building healthy daily habits transformed Ione's depression, and on today's show, she shares how she did it. This episode is full of practical, grounded, accessible tips (like exercise and watching social media intake) that we ALL can use to cultivate a lifestyle of mental and emotional well-being. Listen to discover: - The tools that helped pull her out of depression - The ways social media affects our inner well-being - Post-traumatic growth and how we can turn trauma into positive change - How to find passion and joy in the day to day - Tips for overcoming depression and ruminating thoughts - The power of "reverse engineering" your life Whether you're struggling with anxiety and depression or simply feeling weighed down by the state of the world around you, remember that you are what you consume and you have the power to choose things that nourish you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. "The biggest change was recognizing those thoughts aren't true. I can change those thoughts." - Ione Butler "We are what we consume...Everything we take in has an impact." - Ione Butler "I think we all need to pause and ask ourselves, 'How does it make you feel?'" - Michelle Chalfant "Our stories are so powerful...However, when we get stuck in them, we just spin in circles." - Michelle Chalfant "Recognizing the impact the thoughts were having and changing the thoughts was a big one." - Ione Butler "Every little bit helps, and it changes us." - Michelle Chalfant "Everything begins with a thought. And the question is, "Are you going to believe that thought or not?'" - Michelle Chalfant "Our mind is a tool." - Ione Butler LINKS & RESOURCES Ione Butler Website https://ionebutler.com/ Uplifting Content Website https://upliftingcontent.com/ "Uplifting Stories" (Ione Butler book) https://www.amazon.com/Uplifting-Stories-Tales-Inspire-Every/dp/1982138238 "The Power of Now" https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808 The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Whether it's eating healthier, getting exercise, starting a meditation practice or staying socially connected, figuring out what to do to be happy might be simple – but actually doing these things and living in a way that lets us experience happiness is much harder. When we know there are things we can do that will make us healthier and happier, why do we struggle to actually do them? Why do we get caught in a cycle of chasing happiness instead of choosing joy, even when we know better? This is what Gretchen Rubin wanted to understand when she began studying happiness and why people form the habits they do. It turns out that it has everything to do with how we relate to expectations. Gretchen discovered that there are four different "tendencies" that tell us how different people approach habits and expectations – whether we question expectations, comply with expectations, rebel against expectations or uphold them from within. We are born with our tendency and there's no right or wrong way to be, but our ability to pursue happiness and form habits is directly connected to which tendency we're wired with. In this episode, Gretchen describes each of the four tendencies in detail and ways to work with your type to go after the life you want. She also talks about habit formation and the different approaches to starting a new habit, so you can figure out which one works best for you! This is so fascinating and has major implications for how we structure our lives, how we work with each other in business and relationships and so much more! Listen to discover: Concrete steps we can take to start boosting our happiness The "four tendencies" personality framework The Upholder, The Obliger, The Questioner and The Rebel – four different ways we all respond to inner and outer expectations How your tendency impacts how you form habits How to overcome resistance and work with your tendency to be as successful and happy as possible Misconceptions about happiness and techniques to form better habits Though it's true that everyone is different in terms of what makes us happy, we're also all different in how we get to the things that make us happy. When we understand our wiring, we can overcome resistance and set ourselves up to achieve the life we want, in a way that is uniquely ours. "Our physical experience is always going to color our emotional experience." - Gretchen Rubin "The key to happiness is relationships." - Gretchen Rubin "Don't suit other people. Suit yourself." - Gretchen Rubin "I'm a big believer in the genetic roots of personality." - Gretchen Rubin "We can work with each other to help us all achieve our aims, but sometimes we have to provide a different way from what would work for us." - Gretchen Rubin "Your communication style would change once you know this." - Michelle Chalfant "Happier people are more interested in the problems of the world." - Gretchen Rubin "You have to take care of yourself. You have to put yourself first." - Michelle Chalfant "When you're not indulging in a temptation, it goes away." - Gretchen Rubin LINKS & RESOURCES Gretchen Rubin Website https://gretchenrubin.com/ Happier Podcast (Gretchen Rubin podcast) https://gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/ Gretchen Rubin Books https://gretchenrubin.com/books/ The Four Tendencies Quiz https://gretchenrubin.com/fourtendencies The Happier App https://the-happiness-project.com/pages/happier-app Gretchen Rubin Facebook https://www.facebook.com/GretchenRubin Gretchen Rubin Instagram https://www.instagram.com/gretchenrubin/ Gretchen Rubin LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/gretchenrubin Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We live in a world that's both more connected and more disconnected than ever. With things like Zoom, FaceTime, and social media, we can get in touch with others with the click of a button. But we also have an epidemic of loneliness. We scroll by each other without really engaging with each other. Even in our most intimate relationships, we can easily find ourselves co-existing without connecting at the heart level. The busyness of our world will naturally cause us to drift apart from each other without intentional effort, so a few years ago, my husband and I started building small "rituals of connection" into our week. These are moments – like our weekend coffee chats – that we've set aside to be fully present with each other and share more vulnerably, authentically, and from the heart. During one of our recent coffee chats, we had a beautiful conversation about how we can create more connection in our relationships with each other and others, and with Graham's permission, I recorded our conversation to share with you all. In this conversation, we talk about the power of intentional connection, how important true connection is for maintaining trust and happiness in relationships, and how you can build moments of connection into a busy schedule. Graham shares one of his favorite tools to take a conversation deeper and how this tool can help people who might feel threatened by intimacy begin to flex their vulnerability muscles and move into a deeper relationship with their partner. Listen to discover: How you can build rituals of connection into your relationship Exercises to get the conversation flowing and create a deeper connection How to build up your ability to share emotions Ways to encourage your partner to share their emotions more Staying centered even when having a tough conversation The power of masterful listening and responding instead of reacting How to create more safety in your relationships It's so easy to work and live alongside others but never really connect. If you've ever found yourself in a relationship or surrounded by people but still feeling lonely, this is why! But with small, intentional steps, we can totally transform the nature of our relationships and find those soul connections we're all looking for. This episode gives an inside look into how two normal, busy people are practicing this together, and I hope it encourages you to start this journey with the ones you love – friends, family, partners, anyone! "Drop inside and...drop below the chin. Get curious about what's going on in the body." - Michelle Chalfant "If you can't identify [the emotion], just get the sense of what's going on in your body and share that." - Michelle Chalfant "Expressing that is easy for everybody, and it's a great opening to deeper conversations." - Graham Chalfant "If we as humans had ideas about the range of emotions that we can feel, we would say more than, 'I'm mad, sad, glad, afraid or ashamed.'" - Michelle Chalfant "We have so many emotions we can feel, but we're not brought up to feel more emotions than those typical five." - Michelle Chalfant "See if you can't sit down with the person in your life and just touch base with a couple words." - Graham Chalfant "It would be a huge improvement for most couples and people in relationships to touch base once a day or a couple times a week." - Graham Chalfant "We're getting in the habit of exchanging energy in this way." - Michelle Chalfant "You want to always own your experience...that is a much more open way of inviting in that other person to discuss it versus putting that person in defense." - Michelle Chalfant "Swooping in and fixing when someone feels bad is the worst thing that you can do for a relationship." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4 MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

As human beings, we are hardwired to heal. Think about it: if you get a cut or a scrape, your body naturally repairs itself. If you get a cold or flu, your immune system kicks in to fight off the invader and keep you healthy. Healing is our birthright…so if we're experiencing disease, it's a sign that something is blocking our natural ability to heal. Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary is a neurologist and Ayurvedic medicine expert who looks at healing through the lens of energy and harmony, bringing the mind, body, and soul into balance so the body can do what it was designed to do: heal itself. Though the cause of disease can be physical, such as a toxin, or emotional, such as unprocessed trauma, the key isn't to treat symptoms but to go in and remove the blocks in our energy so healing can once again flow through the body. Dr. Chaudhary calls this "quantum biology," using energy, sound, and frequency (since we are made of energy after all) to change our bodies at the cellular level. In this absolutely fascinating episode, Dr. Chaudhary talks about the science of Ayurveda, the emotional connection to chronic disease, why sound and frequency has such power to heal and how we can flip the script on how we think about health and wholeness in today's world. Listen to discover: The roots of Ayurveda and why it's about living in harmony and balance Why health is our birthright The root of sickness and why the source of sickness can be physical or emotional The choices and changes we can make to live in more harmony and health Understanding the biology of energy and how science is catching up to ancient ideas about energy What "sound medicine" is and the different types of mantras you can use for healing A demo of Dr. Chaudhary's chakra mantra Next steps you can take to put Dr. Chaudhary's approach into practice Because of her neurology background, Dr. Chaudhary has an amazing ability to take these ancient concepts and ground them in science, helping us bring these beautiful ancient practices into our modern world. This show gives me so much hope for the future and reminds me why the work we're doing in The Adult Chair® is so powerful: because healing our trauma changes us at the cellular level. "It just woke me up to a way of integrating the view of the body and mind to create health in a much more efficient way." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary "That's how we're supposed to live: in harmony and balance with everything." - Michelle Chalfant "This was an approach to living where health was the natural repercussion of living with consciousness about our relationship with the planet and our relationship with each other." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary "When you understand who you really are and when you get to that part of union with nature, the laws of nature change." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary "If we're constantly healing, then what's keeping us sick?" - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary "Our normal set point is of excellent health." - Michelle Chalfant "In my experience, anything that has been chronic over time has a psychological component." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary "The body is a map to the mind." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary "Our cells are singing...and when we become diseased, they change their tune." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary "The chakra system is the highway where all of these energetic systems suddenly collide." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary "The sounds that you yourself make in terms of your thoughts, the words that you speak, are shaping your health." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary Website https://drkulreetchaudhary.com/ "Sound Medicine" (Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary book) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062867334 Healthy Directions https://www.healthydirections.com/dr-kulreet-chaudhary Chakra Mantra Demo starts at 53:45 in the episode The Adult Chair® Membership (June Theme: Grounding) https://theadultchair.com/membership/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Whether you love manifesting or you're still a little skeptical, I want you to consider one thing: if the Law of Attraction really is a law of nature, like gravity, is it possible that it is working in your life whether you know it or not? Is it possible that your unconscious beliefs are shaping your reality in ways you don't realize – or want – simply because you haven't chosen another way of thinking? This was the reality of Dr. Joe Vitale's life when he was homeless and living on the floor of the Dallas library. A lifelong learner with a love for books, he would spend hours in the self-development section, trying to figure out what was keeping him stuck in life. He realized he was carrying a tremendous amount of limiting beliefs, including the belief that he needed to suffer to be successful, and these beliefs were the very reason he was in the circumstances he was in. As he changed his beliefs, he changed his entire life from his finances to his career, and today he's a wildly successful author, actor, musician and guru on the Law of Attraction – and I was so honored to speak with him on today's show. Dr. Joe helps explain the Law of Attraction and how it works on a practical level, showing how what we focus on is what we get, and walks us through a beautiful Hawaiian process for healing ourselves and those around us. I asked him all the tough questions and got all of the answers for you, so you can look at this concept through a new lens and start creating the life you want! Listen to discover: How Dr. Joe went from being homeless to being a wildly successful author, actor and musician – just by shifting his beliefs Where to start getting the life you want What the law of attraction is and why it can work for you (even if you don't think so) The importance of choosing love instead of fear for creating the life you want Why your unconscious beliefs make all the difference in manifestation The power of the ho'oponopono prayer and how to use it At the end of the day, the Law of Attraction is based on the idea that we see and get more of what we focus on. Wouldn't you rather focus on love than on fear or hate, no matter what – and especially if doing so was directly connected to the reality you were living? This is an awesome show to help you get started on that path and begin to see that miracles ARE possible! "The inner work is what got me here." - Dr. Joe Vitale "In order to change the outside reality, you gotta go inside." - Michelle Chalfant "You're not purposely, consciously choosing most of these beliefs. Most of them you've absorbed." - Dr. Joe Vitale "The 'how' is the number one thing that stops people." - Dr. Joe Vitale "Fear and hate are two of the most powerful manifesting emotions that there are." - Dr. Joe Vitale "Emotion is fire for creating what you want." - Dr. Joe Vitale "The law of attraction is how your brain works. It is bringing to you what you're focused on." - Dr. Joe Vitale "I love working with the unconscious mind because that is where, to me, the magic is." - MIchelle Chalfant "It seems to me the only limits we have are mental constructs." - Dr. Joe Vitale LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Joe Vitale Website https://joevitale.com/ Zero Limits Living (Joe Vitale TV Show) https://zerolimitslivingtv.com/ "Zero Limits" (one of many Joe Vitale books) https://www.amazon.com/Zero-Limits-Secret-Hawaiian-System/dp/0470402563 "Homeless to Billionaire" (Andres Pira with Dr. Joe Vitale book) https://www.amazon.com/Homeless-Billionaire-Principles-Attraction-Opportunity/dp/1946633860 The Adult Chair® Membership (June theme: Grounding) https://theadultchair.com/membership/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

I'm sure we all have an image that comes into our minds when we think about psychedelics – probably something related to hippies, jam bands, and wild colors and shapes. But what if there's something more to these substances? What if they could be powerful tools for healing? I know, I know: when I first heard people ask that question, I was skeptical too. I thought of psychedelics as drugs, and I definitely don't advocate for drug use or numbing out instead of feeling emotions. But when I started researching the history of psychedelics and how they are being used in therapeutic settings, I began to open my mind to their possibilities, and I invite you to approach this episode with an open mind as well. My guest today, Paul Austin, is a young entrepreneur leading the charge on making responsible, therapeutic use of psychedelics more understood and accepted. As Paul explains in the episode, the reason psychedelics have such healing potential is that they make the unconscious mind manifest, so we can see our shadow beliefs and understand the "why" behind some of the patterns in our lives. They can help us process trauma without activating the fear response in the brain and help us see life from a new perspective, which can heal anxiety, depression, PTSD and other issues at the source. Paul does an amazing job breaking down the most common psychedelics, exactly how they work in the brain and what the experience is like with each one. We talk about the importance of intention, environment, and dosage (we are NOT advocating for using these at, say, Bonnaroo) and why it's essential to have a therapist with you in the experience. Listen to discover: What a psychedelic actually is A breakdown of the common psychedelics The importance of using these substances in a therapeutic setting for proper dosing, guidance, and integration of the experience Demystifying the psychedelic experience How various psychedelics work in the brain and what each one is helpful in treating What microdosing is and how it works Psychedelics are an intriguing topic that I actually get asked about a lot, and I hope you guys enjoy this research-driven episode that just might change your mind about these powerful plant medicines. "The word 'psychedelic' literally means 'mind manifesting.'" - Paul Austin "Psychedelics are phenomenal ways that we can heal unknown aspects of self." - Michelle Chalfant "There's a way to do this appropriately and consciously and in a healthy way." - Michelle Chalfant "What ketamine does neurologically, or to the brain if you will, is that it does a phenomenal job of dissolving the ego." - Paul Austin "A lot of these mental health conditions, whether it's anxiety, depression or OCD, are caused by rigidity in the brain." - Paul Austin "That inner healing intelligence that's so often shut down, psychedelics often help to bring that to the forefront." - Paul Austin "We look at things one way. And with a psychedelic, you get to look at it from a higher perspective and from a different perspective." - Michelle Chalfant "Oftentimes the healing potential from psilocybin is because you're basically facing your trauma head on." - Paul Austin "Having someone to help you integrate is hugely important. You have to have a therapist or a guide or someone that sits with you." - Michelle Chaflant LINKS & RESOURCES The Third Wave (Paul Austin Company) https://thethirdwave.co/ Paul Austin Website https://www.paulaustin.co/ Paul Austin Instagram https://www.instagram.com/paulaustin3w/ Paul Austin Twitter https://twitter.com/PaulAustin3w Episode #228: Breakthrough Treatments For Anxiety, Depression And Stress with Dr. David Rabin https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/228/ Fantastic Fungi https://fantasticfungi.com/watch/ "A Really Good Day" https://www.amazon.com/Really-Good-Day-Microdosing-Difference/dp/1664458972 Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant