The Flop House

For this year's Cagemas we honor both the kindly St. Nicholas Cage, and Star Wars by picking the Cage-Hayden Christiansen joint, Outcast. Meanwhile, Stuart does an ad for Clearasil, Elliott contributes his worst Popeye, and, yet again, Stu and Elliott interrupt Dan when he's trying to do something nice for other people. Merry Cagemas. Special Cagemas and Cagenuka themes courtesy of Jonathan Biegen. Movies recommended in this episode: The Big Short Magic Mike XXL Bone Tomahawk

On this episode we uncharacteristically talk sports, specifically futbol, as we watched the definitely-not-about-a-corrupt-organization FIFA film, United Passions. And who better to join us as we wade into these unfamiliar waters than sports expert and Flop House nemesis, David Kalan. Elliott introduces us to the American Bean Council mascot, Stuart coins an all-new word, Dan instructs you on sportsball Fisher Stevens cosplay, and David tells us a fascinating story about Executive Decision. Movies recommended in this episode: Shaolin SoccerSteve JobsThe Battered Bastards of BaseballBeasts of No NationSicarioBeau Geste

Remember when Chappie fever swept the country, with all those pet Chappies, and tickle-me-Chappies? Meanwhile, Elliott describes a literary-technique-based dystopian future, Stuart continues to explain the Internet, and Dan just checks out for a while. Like, he totally doesn't talk for seven minutes or something. Sorry, it was a long week. Movies recommended in this episode: Dead or AliveDrunk, Stoned, Brilliant, DeadWifePremonition Following an Evil Deed

Think you're too good for the Oxford comma, Men, Women & Children? WELL WE'RE TOO GOOD FOR YOU. Meanwhile Stu explains "X-Men nudity," Dan makes a call for an annotated Flop House, and Elliott explains the music your kids' kids are gonna love. Oh, and also there's a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT. Movies recommended in this episode: SpectreGrandmaThe Ipcress FileRazorback

Every Shocktober must come, sadly, to an end, but not without our longest (and best?) episode of the month. Dan Macabre, Booart Skellington, and Elliott Killin' are joined by Hellie Haglund to discuss "Ouija," the movie that captures the thrill of moving a piece of wood across a board. Meanwhile Stuart discovers the double-meaning to House II, Dan expands his masterful celebrity impression repertoire, which turns the tables on interrupting Elliott, and Hallie insists that Ingmar Bergman was a breast man.Movies recommended in this episode:SecondsCreepMy Best FiendGinza CosmeticsThanks for all the inquiries about the health of Lulu, Dan's cat. Unfortunately, he and Sarah had to put her to sleep after 12 love-filled years. Her suffering is over, and now she's sniffing Hallie's boots in heaven. We miss her.

No show notes because Dan is busy nursing a sick cat.

As part of the MaxFun Great Switcheroo, Justin, Travis, Griffin, and Merle McElroy of The Adventure Zone have taken on Leprechaun: Origins. Meanwhile, if you want to hear the Original Peaches (plus guest star Zhubin Parang) you can find them playing D&D over at The Adventure Zone!

It's the most magical time of the year! SHOCKTOBER! And this year we're kicking off with the millenials-on-a-computer-screen shocker "Unfriended." Meanwhile, Dan reads movie ad copy, Elliott talks Quidditch injuries, and Stuart reveals his poop fears.Movies recommended in this episode:The VisitThe Leopard ManThe Late Show

No show notes on account of Emmys.

Straight from Cannes to Lifetime (TM), it's the Grace Kelly biopic, Grace of Monaco. Meanwhile Elliott has a surprisingly deep well of Saved by the Bell knowledge, Dan speculates about Curly's gold, and Stuart finds a new way to leave Dan out of things.Movies recommended in this episode:The DropProject NimObvious Child

Some of the top bits and tangents from the first 75 episodes, suggested by fans. Apologies for the sound quality on some of these -- it was early on and we were learning.

Show notes canceled on account of SUMMER.

In this episode, Jordan Morris of terrific MaxFun sister podcast Jordan, Jesse, Go! stops by to co-host while Elliott's in England, a move he immediately regretted when we watched Strange Magic. Meanwhile, Dan explains the proper way to drink beer, Stuart evinces his disdain for improv, and Jordan displays his surprisingly deep knowledge of Three Ninjas. Movies recommended in this episode:The Super CopsThe OvernightResults

Will the guys who liked Speed Racer also enjoy the Wachowski sibling's most recent critical flop, Jupiter Ascending? Meanwhile Elliott debuts his new bumper sticker, Dan boringly digresses about The Three Investigators, and Stuart explains why, when incarcerating someone, you should really take their rocket boots.Movies recommended in this episode:CreepFlash GordonBarbarellaThe Visitor

Detailed show notes abandoned this week, as Dan and Elliott are winging their way to Montreal for a wedding!

Hoo boy does Johnny Depp certainly have a mustache in Mortdcai! Meanwhile Dan reads copy off a beer for some reason, Elliott invites George Lucas to stop by, and Stuart recommends a surprising film.Movies recommended in this episode:Mad Max: Fury RoadNeed for SpeedStuart Wellington mystery recommendation

Show notes/timecode delayed on account of busy weekend.

In the words of Homer Simpson, we've got a hankerin' for some spankerin', as we discuss 50 Shades of Grey. Meanwhile Stuart delivers a eulogy for the rappin' granny, Elliott explains the laziness of British elocution, Dan reveals a porn tale from his past, and we include perhaps our best outtakes ever.Movies recommended in this episode:What We Do in the ShadowsLucyDownhill Racer

0:00 - 0:37 - Introduction and theme.0:38 - 4:10 - We introduce our guest, Tom Silvestro, and gripe more about our ongoing technical problems.4:11 - 27:58 - Should you let this Priest touch you?27:59 - 31:40 - Some special SHOCKTOBER final judgments31:41 - 40:29 - Flop House Movie Mailbag40:30 - 53:39 - The sad bastards recommend53:38 - 55:27 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 6:43 - The technical difficulties saga continues.6:44 - 30:01 - You'd think there would be a lot to talk about in a three hour film, wouldn't you? You would be wrong.30:02 - 35:30 - Final judgments35:31 - 51:52 - Flop House Movie Mailbag51:53 - 56:20 - The sad bastards recommend56:20 - 57:32 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

We've seen him 3D, but are we ready for Dracula: Untold? Meanwhile Stuart demonstrates his innovative mixology, and Elliot and Dan reveal the surprising Dracula-centric details of the Mad Men finale.Movies recommended in this episode:Donnie BrascoSpringDracula: Pages from a Virgin's Diary

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 4:17 - We discuss our recent technical difficulties.4:18 - 27:57 - You'd think there would be a lot to talk about in a three hour film, wouldn't you? You would be wrong.27:58 - 33:00 - We summarily dispense with final judgments, to discuss Stuart's SURPRISE GIFT to Dan and Elliott33:31 - 47:45 - Flop House Movie Mailbag47:46 - 54:44 - The sad bastards recommend / plug.54:45 - 55:52 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Just bloopin' around.

It's the moment that the bad movie cognoscenti have been waiting for, as we discuss The Boy Next Door. Meanwhile, Stuart explains the "character" he plays, Dan becomes a proponent of the female gaze, and Elliott describes some of the lesser-known sexually explicit Disney cartoons of the 60's.Movies recommended in this episode:CitizenfourFaultsIt Follows

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 2:23 - Elliott's public airing of grievances.2:24 - 39:26 - We find a surprising amount to say about the wish-fulfillment fantasy, Limitless.39:27 - 41:30 - Final judgments.41:31 - 58:07 - Flop House Movie Mailbag58:08 - 59:13 - A speed round of the sad bastards recommend59:14 - 1:00:21 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

It's the MaxFun drive! And, though Stu is in Puerto Rico, we pulled out the big guns with a return appearance by Hallie Haglund! She adds some much needed perspective to the asshole-dude-based RomCommery of That Awkward Moment. Meanwhile Elliott reveals his hatred of smooth men who have a lot of sex, Dan is, yet again, accused of racism, and Hallie can't get over the similarity between our lead actress and farts.Movies recommended in this episode:Cold in JulyAll Good ThingsMan is Not a Bird

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 5:28 - Tales of Cobra Commander and Twin Sitters5:29 - 32:05 - Zach Snyder somehow finds a way to ruin sexy schoolgirls fighting robotic samurais. 33:37 - 35:32 - Final judgments.35:33 - 50:59 - Flop House Movie Mailbag51:00 - 58:00 - The sad bastards recommend58:01 - 58:43 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 5:48 - We discuss our GLOWING Onion AV Club mention.5:49 - 33:34 - Nothing starts a franchise better than a movie clearly only designed to start a franchise. Case in point: I Am Number Four.33:37 - 35:10 - Final judgments.35:11 - 51:09 - Flop House Movie Mailbag, complete with exhuastingly-long theme.51:10 - 57:17 - The sad bastards recommend57:18 - 58:45 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Turns out that being Christopher Nolan's cinematographer is not the same thing as being Christopher Nolan, as we found out when we endured Transcendence. Meanwhile Elliott explains Dan's unusual way of reading, Stuart has a Transmorphers flashback, and Dan sings a little cow opera. Movies recommended in this episode:The Evil ClergymanThe Woman on the BeachSunshine

0:00 - 0:38 - Introduction and theme.0:39 - 31:15- We officially turn this bad movie podcast into a Nic Cagecast, with our discussion of Drive Angry.31:16 - 33:36 - Final judgments.33:35 - 48:15 - Flop House Movie Mailbag48:16 - 52:45 - The sad bastards recommend52:46 - 53:53 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:41 - Introduction and theme.0:42 - 8:29 - Stuart helps Dan deliver some big news by setting up a bit at length and then seeming totally uninterested in the payoff.8:30 - 29:35 - We seem to have less to say about The Roommate than any prior film.29:36 - 35:22 - Final judgments.35:23 - 54:01 - Recommendations are BUMPED for our longest Movie Mailbag yet.54:02 - 58:40 - The sad bastards recommend58:41 - 59:51 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

There's just something about a terrible kids' movie that brings out the best (?) in us, so we dive headfirst into the CGI flop Legends of OZ: Dorothy's Return. Meanwhile, Stuart gives important advice to our kidnapped listeners, Dan inadvertently pitches the new hit movie "Uncatchable," and Bizzarro Elliott makes an appearance. Movies and TV recommended in this episode: SorcererWildLogan's Run

Flop House repeat offender Idris Elba romances Taraji P. Henson in the Valentine's Day favorite No Good Deed. Wait, did we say "romances?" We meant "terrorizes." Meanwhile Elliott tells us of James Bond films of the future, Dan tries to play a game of Radio Zork, and Stuart introduces the new Sweet Amazing Candy Penis.Movies recommended in this episode:RomaHappy ChristmasCoherence

The gang had to take the week off, but Matt Carman and Kseniya Yarosh from the zine "I Love Bad Movies" (ilovebadmovies.com) are here to tell you about an exciting LIVE FLOP HOUSE EVENT, that the floppers are preparing in partnership with the I Love Bad Movies team. http://bit.ly/je68Vc

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 5:56 - The usual gang takes a few moments to reacquaint themselves, after a month of guest hosts, and begin unintentionally insulting everyone.5:57 - 35:45 - If you're gonna make a not-so-great movie, do everyone a favor and stick Nicholas Cage and Alfred Molina in it.35:45 - 39:00 - Final judgments.48:31 - 55:35 - Recommendations are BUMPED for our longest Movie Mailbag yet.55:36 - 57:42 The final letter segues into thrilling news of our first LIVE FLOP HOUSE EVENT!57:43 - 59:08 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

We will never watch anything with nearly three hour bloat again, so enjoy the special snowflake that is us talking about the most recent Bayhem, Transformers: Age of Extinction. Meanwhile, Elliott explains how to find a Transformer's clitoris, Stuart keeps on Castle Freakin' on, and sleepy Dan (sort of) returns.Movies recommended in this episode:Winter LightZRock N Roll Nightmare

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 6:57 - We're so delighted by our special MYSTERY GUEST (whose identity is ruined in the show description) that we take even longer than usual to get to the point.6:58 - 47:29 - In-between discussions of Batman villains, we find a little time to talk about Knight and Day.47:30 - 48:30 - Final judgments.48:31 - 54:50 - The sad bastards recommend. 54:51 - 56:34 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Recorded on 1/9/2015 in front of a live, sold out crowd in The Bell House in Gowanus, Brooklyn. A huge thanks to Mr. Matt Carman (1/2 of the excellent zine "I Love Bad Movies") for recording the show and making sure we sound as good as we do.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 4:28 - We introduce guest host Andy Rocco, and challenge him to justify himself.4:29 - 47:22 - We find a surprising amount to talk about in Gooby, almost managing to keep to the topic.47:23 - 50:06 - Final judgments.50:07 - 55:57 - The sad bastards recommend. 57:58 - 58:57 - Plugs, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 30:55 - We discuss the Battle: Los Angeles prequel, Skyline. What, it's not a prequel?30:56 - 34:20 - Final judgments.34:21 - 53:05 - Donations and Flop House Movie Mailbag53:06 - 56:27 - The sad bastards recommend. 56:28 - 57:26 - Plugs, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Merry Cagemas everyone! The store was all out of Left Behind (well... it hasn't been released to video or streaming yet), so we got you a Rage. We hope you're not too disappointed. Meanwhile Elliott reads the Looney Tunes dinner specials, Dan reveals the medical source of his word-slurring, and Stuart just can't stop chewing. Movies recommended in this episode:NightcrawlerFoxcatcherFor a Few Dollars More9 Deaths of the Ninja

0:00 - 0:53 - Red carpet introduction0:54 - 35:51 - In contrast to EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET and our usual tendency to hate on things, we actually didn't mind the Oscars. 35:52 - 45:25 - Flop House Movie Mailbag45:26 - 48:20- A brief pledge drive48:21 - 55:56 - Dan tells the greatest story in American letters. Suck it, Twain and Hemmingway.55:57 - 59:47 - Plugs, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Song of the autumn contest winner Jason MacIssac decreed that we should be subjected to legendary season-one-of-American-Idol ancillary flop From Justin to Kelly. Did he take it easy on us, or is there now a bounty on his head? Meanwhile Stuart introduces his innovative new restaurant concept, and Elliott murders Dan on air. Movies recommended in this episode:Inherent ViceThe Hobbit: Battle of the Five ArmiesNine Days of One Year

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 20.0px; font: 13.0px 'Trebuchet MS'; color: #cccccc} 0:00 - 0:35 - Introduction and theme 0:36 - 33:09 - We spend a little time discussing Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time and way too much time discussing Duckberg and its inhabitants. 33:10 - 36:53- Final judgments 36:54 - 53:14 - A super-sized Movie Mail Bag, including some Oscar talk 53:15 - 58:29- The sad bastards recommend 58:30 - 59:41 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes. Go to www.flophousepodcast.com and click on our shiny new donate button to support the show.

0:00 - 0:39 - SEXY Introduction and theme0:40 - 3:27 - We work ourselves up into discussing the movie with some of our usual gibberish.0:28 - 36:41- Cuddle up tight with your loved one and share your most romantic pair of earbuds for this discussion of Valentine's Day.36:42 - 39:37- Final judgments39:38 - 52:41 - An epic Flop House Movie Mailbag52:42 - 57:33- The sad bastards recommend 57:34 - 59:25 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

A returning Flop House director guides a cast of returning Flop House stars in an eruption of mediocrity named Pompeii. Meanwhile Stu asks a provocative question about Cenobites, Elliott reveals an early draft of a Robert Louis Stevenson classic, and Dan debuts his new hit character. Movies recommended in this episode:VolcanoHouseboundThe HurricaneThe Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme0:33 - 36:30- Sure M. Night Shyamalan makes amazing Flop House movies as a director and as a writer, but can he bring that same anti-magic as a producer?36:31 - 38:18- Final judgments38:19 - 39:25 - Pause for station identification39:26 - 44:55 - The Flop House Movie Mailbag44:56 - 51:02- The sad bastards recommend (Including a very special fantasy recommendation)51:03 - 54:38 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 4:00 - We re-introduce guest host Lou Fernandez of Lou Reads the Internet for You.4:01 - 34:20 - We talk about the Kutcher-Heigel collaboration that America's 12-year-olds were clamoring for.34:21 - 36:35 - Final judgments40:07 - 47:45 - We expand our flop purview to include The Great White Way, as Lou relates his experience seeing Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark47:46 - 56:42 - The sad bastards recommend. 56:43 - 58:07 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Detailed show notes canceled on account of Dan being sick with Mongolian death flu. Movies recommended in this episode:The Woman ChaserShort Term 12Phase IVJohn Wick

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme.0:32 - 33:37 - How much air could an airbender bend if an airbender could bend air? The answer is surprisingly dull.33:38- 40:06 - Some highly digressive final judgments40:07 - 54:58 - The Flop House Movie Mailbag54:59 - 58:46 - The sad bastards recommend. 58:47 - 59:26 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.