The Flop House

Two is the Cloneliest Number The three peaches spend this episode cloning around about Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones, as part of a podcrawl with Read it and Weep (who took on Episode I) and Proudly Resents (who will be taking on Episode III). Meanwhile, Dan's space gaydar is misaligned, Elliott explains the proper way to steal a cake, and the greatest secrets of Stuart's nerdiness are revealed. Movies recommended in this episode:War WitchInside Llewyn DavisNightwatch

Simulates a real Foodfight, in that it leaves you pained, sticky, and wanting to vomit. Hey, you guys ever think to yourself, "I like Toy Story, but I wish it could be more commercial, ugly, and frenetic?" Welcome to Foodfight! Meanwhile, Dan points out the movie's one "goof," Stuart brings it back to "Just One of the Guys," and Elliott introduces his new "Southern Tin Tin Enthusiast" character. Movies recommended in this episode:GojiraThe Last UnicornWalker

With the glamour and horror of our 200th/MaxFun Drive episode behind us, we return to meat-and-potatoes flophousery with the little seen sci-fi actioner Vice, starring Flop House repeat offenders Thomas Jane and Bruce Willis. Meanwhile, Elliott explains the risks of marrying Shannon Tweed, Dan takes a fantasy trip to the set of the sitcom Wings, and Stuart makes a shocking leap ahead in Radio Zork Movies recommended in this episode: Green Room10 Cloverfield LaneThe Forbidden Room

Sequel to "The Binge" Hey guys, who do you think you're gonna murder during The Purge this year? Meanwhile, Dan argues for greater creativity in purge-crime, Elliott introduces "Spoiler Alert Rod Serling," and Stuart makes us all uncomfortable with his sudden surge in the perv ratings.Movies recommended in this episode:The Phantom of the OperaNight of the DemonsThe GrannyGravityMad Love

Really captures the boredom of waiting at the ATM. Thank you ATM for blowing the lid off the all-too-common crime of ATM serial killing. Meanwhile, Stuart discovers the concept of the spoiler alert, and Elliott and Dan trade impressions of one of the most oft-imitated voices in Hollywood usurping the signature role of another most-imitated-voice in Hollywood.Movies recommended in this episode:BelowAmerican MaryPersonaIn the Mouth of Madness

It's the moment we promised would never happen: we watched Elliott and Dan's stated least-favorite movie of all time, Nothing but Trouble. (Don't worry - despite Elliott's joking claim that if we ever did this film it would be our last, this is NOT our final episode). And to help us out with this special MAX FUN DRIVE episode (donate!), we welcome self-proclaimed minor television celebrity, Mr. John Hodgman. Meanwhile, Elliott breaks out his "Jane Campion accent, Stuart reveals his popcorn secrets, And Hodgman joins in at making fun of Dan's pronunciation. Movies recommended in this episode: The StingWitchtrapBroadcast NewsThe Housemaid

Help, Olympus Has Fallen, and it can't get up! (No detailed notes this week, because 2/3 of the Original Peaches are in Los Angeles this weekend, including the one who writes the show notes and really should be packing RIGHT NOW.)

Unfortunately not the sequel to Topsy-Turvy. Upside Down is a movie about two young lovers from planets with reverse gravity, and we somehow make it through the whole episode without making a joke about 69-ing. Meanwhile, Stuart gets his annual review, Dan can't stop getting all science-y, Elliott discusses auto-erotic time travel, and... we'll let you enjoy the surprise.

Just in time for MaxFun Drive, a little bonus for listeners.

More accurately, bullet "in" the head, and then quickly "out" of the head. Walter Hill has made several great movies in his career. Is Bullet to the Head one of them? Meanwhile, Stuart unveils a new impression in his repertoire, Dan inspires a discussion about the horrors of gorilla sex, and Elliott keeps missing our special celebrity guest.Movies recommended in this episode:Big Brown EyesThe Queen of VersaillesClose Up

The prequel to Teen Witch (we assume). Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters was produced by Adam McCay, so it was clearly meant as a goof, but is that enough? Meanwhile, Elliott makes an indecent proposal, Dan reveals a startling breadth of knowledge regarding Misty Mundae's acting career, and Stuart lays down the pun laws. Also, the OP's receive the GREATEST GIFT IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND.

We hope the psychic damage we endured was worth it do you guys: we finally caved and watched Marmaduke. Meanwhile, Elliott reveals Marmaduke's historical shenanigans, Stuart's Pacific Rim review gets scatological, and Dan would be indulging in blatant Parade-pandering with his Howard Huge reference, if we hadn't recorded before they endorsed us.0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme.0:31 - 41:38 - Wait, this ISN'T a movie about a duke made out of marmalade?41:39 - 42:17 - Final judgments.41:18 - 43:47 - Some brief shout-outs to our podcast friends.43:48 - 55:06 - Flop House Movie Mailbag55:07 - 1:05:42 - The sad bastards recommend.1:05:43 - 1:07:31 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

It's the Jewish magical realism tale that almost made Elliott hate his own Judaism: The Cobbler. Meanwhile, Stuart suffers from cartoon eye degeneration, Dan would like you to know very much that he's a wealthy murderer, and Elliott's singing has started to bleed dangerously outside the letters section. Movies recommended in this episode: The Deer Hunter The Witch Chi-Raq

Ebert was right about you. 0:00 - 0:29 - Introduction and theme.0:30 - 8:00 - We take a long time to reveal something that's revealed in the episode title.8:01 - 40:09 - Nathaniel Hawthorne's timeless classic about bath voyeurism.40:10 - 42:01 - Final judgments.42:02 - 1:00:534 - Flop House Movie Mailbag1:00:35 - 1:05:53 - The sad bastards recommend.1:05:54 - 1:08:11 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Is Seventh Son seventh fun? Perhaps, though we're not sure what "seventh fun" means. Meanwhile, Elliott pitches us on FXXX, Stuart expresses his love for fantasy bullshit maps, and Dan feels terrible about mixing up En Vogue and TLC. We also debut Jonathan Biegen's "That's How it Works (feat. The Flop House)." And a warning for sensitive listeners -- we briefly get serious during the letters section with some talk about suicide. Movies recommended in this episode: Close RangeDiary of a Teenage GirlMiddle of Nowhere

Yippee ki-yay, mother floppers. 0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 39:03 - An old man goes to Russia and crashes a lot of cars.39:04- 43:35- Final judgments.43:36- 47:14- A word from our sponsor.47:15 - 1:00:59 - Flop House Movie Mailbag1:00:01 - 1:04:41 - The sad bastards recommend.1:04:42 - 1:06:22 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Will Cameron Crowe ever rebound from his Elizabethtown slump? Probably not with the even-worse Aloha. Meanwhile, Dan calls out famed painter Leonardo Da Vinci, Elliott can't remember the rich Bazooka Joe cast of characters, and Stu engages in something that's definitely a bit. Movies recommended in this episode: It's Such a Beautiful DaySicarioClass of 1984

A little something extra from our Jaws: The Revenge live screening

If you're a new listener, here's a good place to start!

WOOOOLVERIIIINES! 0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 36:26 - North Korea would've gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!36:27 - 37:47- Final judgments.37:48- 43:47 - A word from our sponsor.43:48 - 57:32 - Flop House Movie Mailbag57:33 - 1:02:11 - The sad bastards recommend.1:02:12 - 1:03:34 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

It's a super-sized, super-fun, super-technical-glitch-filled CONTEST WINNER SELECTION EPISODE! Tom Horstmann requested that we watch the 1986's The Golden Child, AKA "Don't worry about rewriting the screenplay; Eddie Murphy can improvise any action movie into a comedy!" Meanwhile Stuart uncovers the racist motives of the BK Kids Club, Elliott takes down beloved dead comedian Bill Hicks, and Dan advocates the Morvern style of menswear. Movies recommended in this episode: Man UpThe Hateful EightComing to America

For this year's Cagemas we honor both the kindly St. Nicholas Cage, and Star Wars by picking the Cage-Hayden Christiansen joint, Outcast. Meanwhile, Stuart does an ad for Clearasil, Elliott contributes his worst Popeye, and, yet again, Stu and Elliott interrupt Dan when he's trying to do something nice for other people. Merry Cagemas. Special Cagemas and Cagenuka themes courtesy of Jonathan Biegen. Movies recommended in this episode: The Big Short Magic Mike XXL Bone Tomahawk

On this episode we uncharacteristically talk sports, specifically futbol, as we watched the definitely-not-about-a-corrupt-organization FIFA film, United Passions. And who better to join us as we wade into these unfamiliar waters than sports expert and Flop House nemesis, David Kalan. Elliott introduces us to the American Bean Council mascot, Stuart coins an all-new word, Dan instructs you on sportsball Fisher Stevens cosplay, and David tells us a fascinating story about Executive Decision. Movies recommended in this episode: Shaolin SoccerSteve JobsThe Battered Bastards of BaseballBeasts of No NationSicarioBeau Geste

Remember when Chappie fever swept the country, with all those pet Chappies, and tickle-me-Chappies? Meanwhile, Elliott describes a literary-technique-based dystopian future, Stuart continues to explain the Internet, and Dan just checks out for a while. Like, he totally doesn't talk for seven minutes or something. Sorry, it was a long week. Movies recommended in this episode: Dead or AliveDrunk, Stoned, Brilliant, DeadWifePremonition Following an Evil Deed

Think you're too good for the Oxford comma, Men, Women & Children? WELL WE'RE TOO GOOD FOR YOU. Meanwhile Stu explains "X-Men nudity," Dan makes a call for an annotated Flop House, and Elliott explains the music your kids' kids are gonna love. Oh, and also there's a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT. Movies recommended in this episode: SpectreGrandmaThe Ipcress FileRazorback

Every Shocktober must come, sadly, to an end, but not without our longest (and best?) episode of the month. Dan Macabre, Booart Skellington, and Elliott Killin' are joined by Hellie Haglund to discuss "Ouija," the movie that captures the thrill of moving a piece of wood across a board. Meanwhile Stuart discovers the double-meaning to House II, Dan expands his masterful celebrity impression repertoire, which turns the tables on interrupting Elliott, and Hallie insists that Ingmar Bergman was a breast man.Movies recommended in this episode:SecondsCreepMy Best FiendGinza CosmeticsThanks for all the inquiries about the health of Lulu, Dan's cat. Unfortunately, he and Sarah had to put her to sleep after 12 love-filled years. Her suffering is over, and now she's sniffing Hallie's boots in heaven. We miss her.

No show notes because Dan is busy nursing a sick cat.

As part of the MaxFun Great Switcheroo, Justin, Travis, Griffin, and Merle McElroy of The Adventure Zone have taken on Leprechaun: Origins. Meanwhile, if you want to hear the Original Peaches (plus guest star Zhubin Parang) you can find them playing D&D over at The Adventure Zone!

It's the most magical time of the year! SHOCKTOBER! And this year we're kicking off with the millenials-on-a-computer-screen shocker "Unfriended." Meanwhile, Dan reads movie ad copy, Elliott talks Quidditch injuries, and Stuart reveals his poop fears.Movies recommended in this episode:The VisitThe Leopard ManThe Late Show

No show notes on account of Emmys.

No show notes this week.

Straight from Cannes to Lifetime (TM), it's the Grace Kelly biopic, Grace of Monaco. Meanwhile Elliott has a surprisingly deep well of Saved by the Bell knowledge, Dan speculates about Curly's gold, and Stuart finds a new way to leave Dan out of things.Movies recommended in this episode:The DropProject NimObvious Child

Take two faded stars, put them in an Aussie C-picture, and encourage them to improvise wildly, and what do you get? The oddly compelling Drive Hard. Meanwhile Elliott improves various movies by adding a little vitamin C(age), Dan reveals what the H.P. in H.P. Lovecraft stands for, and Stuart almost gets Billy Joel lyrics right.Movies recommended in this episode:My Brilliant CareerBreaker MorantThe Dirty DozenThe Interview (1998)

Show notes canceled on account of SUMMER.

In this episode, Jordan Morris of terrific MaxFun sister podcast Jordan, Jesse, Go! stops by to co-host while Elliott's in England, a move he immediately regretted when we watched Strange Magic. Meanwhile, Dan explains the proper way to drink beer, Stuart evinces his disdain for improv, and Jordan displays his surprisingly deep knowledge of Three Ninjas. Movies recommended in this episode:The Super CopsThe OvernightResults

Will the guys who liked Speed Racer also enjoy the Wachowski sibling's most recent critical flop, Jupiter Ascending? Meanwhile Elliott debuts his new bumper sticker, Dan boringly digresses about The Three Investigators, and Stuart explains why, when incarcerating someone, you should really take their rocket boots.Movies recommended in this episode:CreepFlash GordonBarbarellaThe Visitor

Detailed show notes abandoned this week, as Dan and Elliott are winging their way to Montreal for a wedding!

Hoo boy does Johnny Depp certainly have a mustache in Mortdcai! Meanwhile Dan reads copy off a beer for some reason, Elliott invites George Lucas to stop by, and Stuart recommends a surprising film.Movies recommended in this episode:Mad Max: Fury RoadNeed for SpeedStuart Wellington mystery recommendation

In the words of Homer Simpson, we've got a hankerin' for some spankerin', as we discuss 50 Shades of Grey. Meanwhile Stuart delivers a eulogy for the rappin' granny, Elliott explains the laziness of British elocution, Dan reveals a porn tale from his past, and we include perhaps our best outtakes ever.Movies recommended in this episode:What We Do in the ShadowsLucyDownhill Racer

We've seen him 3D, but are we ready for Dracula: Untold? Meanwhile Stuart demonstrates his innovative mixology, and Elliot and Dan reveal the surprising Dracula-centric details of the Mad Men finale.Movies recommended in this episode:Donnie BrascoSpringDracula: Pages from a Virgin's Diary

It's the moment that the bad movie cognoscenti have been waiting for, as we discuss The Boy Next Door. Meanwhile, Stuart explains the "character" he plays, Dan becomes a proponent of the female gaze, and Elliott describes some of the lesser-known sexually explicit Disney cartoons of the 60's.Movies recommended in this episode:CitizenfourFaultsIt Follows

We return to the "romantic fantasy" genre that served us so well (?) with Upside Down as we discuss the Colin Farrell vehicle, Winter's Tale. Meanwhile, Dan explains Aerosmith's magic powers, Elliott implores a horse to help him make his booty call, and Stuart wonders whether he was the one in Spaceballs. Movies recommended in this episode:Run All NightIt FollowsLove Affair, or the Case of the Missing Switchboard Operator

It's the MaxFun drive! And, though Stu is in Puerto Rico, we pulled out the big guns with a return appearance by Hallie Haglund! She adds some much needed perspective to the asshole-dude-based RomCommery of That Awkward Moment. Meanwhile Elliott reveals his hatred of smooth men who have a lot of sex, Dan is, yet again, accused of racism, and Hallie can't get over the similarity between our lead actress and farts.Movies recommended in this episode:Cold in JulyAll Good ThingsMan is Not a Bird

Turns out that being Christopher Nolan's cinematographer is not the same thing as being Christopher Nolan, as we found out when we endured Transcendence. Meanwhile Elliott explains Dan's unusual way of reading, Stuart has a Transmorphers flashback, and Dan sings a little cow opera. Movies recommended in this episode:The Evil ClergymanThe Woman on the BeachSunshine

There's just something about a terrible kids' movie that brings out the best (?) in us, so we dive headfirst into the CGI flop Legends of OZ: Dorothy's Return. Meanwhile, Stuart gives important advice to our kidnapped listeners, Dan inadvertently pitches the new hit movie "Uncatchable," and Bizzarro Elliott makes an appearance. Movies and TV recommended in this episode: SorcererWildLogan's Run

Flop House repeat offender Idris Elba romances Taraji P. Henson in the Valentine's Day favorite No Good Deed. Wait, did we say "romances?" We meant "terrorizes." Meanwhile Elliott tells us of James Bond films of the future, Dan tries to play a game of Radio Zork, and Stuart introduces the new Sweet Amazing Candy Penis.Movies recommended in this episode:RomaHappy ChristmasCoherence

We will never watch anything with nearly three hour bloat again, so enjoy the special snowflake that is us talking about the most recent Bayhem, Transformers: Age of Extinction. Meanwhile, Elliott explains how to find a Transformer's clitoris, Stuart keeps on Castle Freakin' on, and sleepy Dan (sort of) returns.Movies recommended in this episode:Winter LightZRock N Roll Nightmare

Recorded on 1/9/2015 in front of a live, sold out crowd in The Bell House in Gowanus, Brooklyn. A huge thanks to Mr. Matt Carman (1/2 of the excellent zine "I Love Bad Movies") for recording the show and making sure we sound as good as we do.

Merry Cagemas everyone! The store was all out of Left Behind (well... it hasn't been released to video or streaming yet), so we got you a Rage. We hope you're not too disappointed. Meanwhile Elliott reads the Looney Tunes dinner specials, Dan reveals the medical source of his word-slurring, and Stuart just can't stop chewing. Movies recommended in this episode:NightcrawlerFoxcatcherFor a Few Dollars More9 Deaths of the Ninja

Song of the autumn contest winner Jason MacIssac decreed that we should be subjected to legendary season-one-of-American-Idol ancillary flop From Justin to Kelly. Did he take it easy on us, or is there now a bounty on his head? Meanwhile Stuart introduces his innovative new restaurant concept, and Elliott murders Dan on air. Movies recommended in this episode:Inherent ViceThe Hobbit: Battle of the Five ArmiesNine Days of One Year