The Flop House

It's the moment that the bad movie cognoscenti have been waiting for, as we discuss The Boy Next Door. Meanwhile, Stuart explains the "character" he plays, Dan becomes a proponent of the female gaze, and Elliott describes some of the lesser-known sexually explicit Disney cartoons of the 60's.Movies recommended in this episode:CitizenfourFaultsIt Follows

We return to the "romantic fantasy" genre that served us so well (?) with Upside Down as we discuss the Colin Farrell vehicle, Winter's Tale. Meanwhile, Dan explains Aerosmith's magic powers, Elliott implores a horse to help him make his booty call, and Stuart wonders whether he was the one in Spaceballs. Movies recommended in this episode:Run All NightIt FollowsLove Affair, or the Case of the Missing Switchboard Operator

It's the MaxFun drive! And, though Stu is in Puerto Rico, we pulled out the big guns with a return appearance by Hallie Haglund! She adds some much needed perspective to the asshole-dude-based RomCommery of That Awkward Moment. Meanwhile Elliott reveals his hatred of smooth men who have a lot of sex, Dan is, yet again, accused of racism, and Hallie can't get over the similarity between our lead actress and farts.Movies recommended in this episode:Cold in JulyAll Good ThingsMan is Not a Bird

Turns out that being Christopher Nolan's cinematographer is not the same thing as being Christopher Nolan, as we found out when we endured Transcendence. Meanwhile Elliott explains Dan's unusual way of reading, Stuart has a Transmorphers flashback, and Dan sings a little cow opera. Movies recommended in this episode:The Evil ClergymanThe Woman on the BeachSunshine

There's just something about a terrible kids' movie that brings out the best (?) in us, so we dive headfirst into the CGI flop Legends of OZ: Dorothy's Return. Meanwhile, Stuart gives important advice to our kidnapped listeners, Dan inadvertently pitches the new hit movie "Uncatchable," and Bizzarro Elliott makes an appearance. Movies and TV recommended in this episode: SorcererWildLogan's Run

Flop House repeat offender Idris Elba romances Taraji P. Henson in the Valentine's Day favorite No Good Deed. Wait, did we say "romances?" We meant "terrorizes." Meanwhile Elliott tells us of James Bond films of the future, Dan tries to play a game of Radio Zork, and Stuart introduces the new Sweet Amazing Candy Penis.Movies recommended in this episode:RomaHappy ChristmasCoherence

We will never watch anything with nearly three hour bloat again, so enjoy the special snowflake that is us talking about the most recent Bayhem, Transformers: Age of Extinction. Meanwhile, Elliott explains how to find a Transformer's clitoris, Stuart keeps on Castle Freakin' on, and sleepy Dan (sort of) returns.Movies recommended in this episode:Winter LightZRock N Roll Nightmare

Recorded on 1/9/2015 in front of a live, sold out crowd in The Bell House in Gowanus, Brooklyn. A huge thanks to Mr. Matt Carman (1/2 of the excellent zine "I Love Bad Movies") for recording the show and making sure we sound as good as we do.

Merry Cagemas everyone! The store was all out of Left Behind (well... it hasn't been released to video or streaming yet), so we got you a Rage. We hope you're not too disappointed. Meanwhile Elliott reads the Looney Tunes dinner specials, Dan reveals the medical source of his word-slurring, and Stuart just can't stop chewing. Movies recommended in this episode:NightcrawlerFoxcatcherFor a Few Dollars More9 Deaths of the Ninja

Song of the autumn contest winner Jason MacIssac decreed that we should be subjected to legendary season-one-of-American-Idol ancillary flop From Justin to Kelly. Did he take it easy on us, or is there now a bounty on his head? Meanwhile Stuart introduces his innovative new restaurant concept, and Elliott murders Dan on air. Movies recommended in this episode:Inherent ViceThe Hobbit: Battle of the Five ArmiesNine Days of One Year

A returning Flop House director guides a cast of returning Flop House stars in an eruption of mediocrity named Pompeii. Meanwhile Stu asks a provocative question about Cenobites, Elliott reveals an early draft of a Robert Louis Stevenson classic, and Dan debuts his new hit character. Movies recommended in this episode:VolcanoHouseboundThe HurricaneThe Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith

Detailed show notes canceled on account of Dan being sick with Mongolian death flu. Movies recommended in this episode:The Woman ChaserShort Term 12Phase IVJohn Wick

Thus we enter November, the month known for having "No" theme. And, appropriately, we watched one of the most generic of modern action sequels, 300: Rise of an Empire. Meanwhile, Elliott lectures on Noid avoidance, Dan makes a public apology relating to one type of music and attacks another, and Stu makes an exciting announcement for enjoyers of comical books.

Shocktober continues/ends with Dario Argento totally forgetting everything he knew about filmmaking (and we don't even like him that much) with Dracula 3D. Meanwhile, Dan reveals the alternate, director's cut ending to Escape (The Pina Colada Song), Elliott out-pervs the pervazoid with his demands for more nudity, and Stuart once again astounds with his facility for accents. Movies recommended in this episode:Shadow of the VampireDuelThe Hitcher

BOOOOOGENS! Welcome to the first episode of SHOCKTOBER 2014 (and the first episode officially under our new podcast network, MaxFun). And because we would never Halloween trick you, instead we're treating you to a guest appearance by Hallie Haglund, sitting in with the OP's, to discuss The Quiet Ones. Meanwhile, Elliott lists all the great MaxFun podcasts, Stuart once again shows his ignorance of all things Internet, and Hallie puts Dan in his place. Movies and TV recommended in this episode: From BeyondThe ReturnedWitchboardThe Hidden

Smalltember continues with perhaps the smallest movie we've ever covered, the bad movie new classic "A Talking Cat!?!" Meanwhile Stuart entertains the lizard representative of Harlem, Elliott gives helpful mnemonic devices for the major German directors, and Dan does some research into the pervy past of the movie's creative team. Movies recommended in this episode:Intimate LightingThe GuestEnemy

The OP's are all back in action, celebrating the all-NEW made-up holiday of "Smallvember." First up, the Christsploitation film "God's Not Dead" filled with the straw-manniest straw men outside of a county fair. Meanwhile Elliott and Detective Columbo disprove the flat Earth theory, Stuart reveals a surprising knowledge of the Christian rock genre, and Dan announces a new contest! Movies recommended in this episode:Jodorowsky's DuneThe Last of SheilaThe One I Love

Thanks to his series of enraged tweets on the matter, we invited comedy writer and pop culture expert Kevin Maher on the show to discuss the enragingly anthropomorphized Walking with Dinosaurs. Meanwhile Dan pervazoids up the Crypt Keeper, Kevin unleashes his dad rage, and Stuart yet again shows his understanding of America's youth.Movies recommended in this episode:Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (1982)Into the Woods (American Playhouse, 1991)Drinking BuddiesCloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

No movie has sexualized pastry so much since American Pie, yet somehow Labor Day is even less erotic than Jason Biggs balls-deep in apple filling. Meanwhile Stuart does some brilliant voice work, Dan loves the versatility of DVDs, and Elliott regales the world with Tales of Ruck.Movies recommended in this episode:The Crazies (1973)The Crazies (2010)Edge of TomorrowAlan Partridge

With audiences primed to be disappointed by a new Hercules movie in theaters, why not be like the Peaches and be disappointed by The Legend of Hercules in the comfort of your own home. Meanwhile Elliott tells us the secrets of the ancient Greek hamburger, Dan has uncanny recall for old Disney cartoons, and Stuart tells sad tales of British totty.Movies recommended in this episode:SnowpiercerThe Lego MovieThe Hunger Games: Catching Fire12 Years a SlaveMuppets Most Wanted Jack Ryan: Shadow RecruitDogtoothZ

Shocktober continues! On this episode we discuss the Flatliners-esque Lazarus Effect. More specific shownotes canceled on account of Dan's sick. Wikipedia synopsis for The Lazarus Effect Movies recommended in this episode: Viy Pet Sematary The Shallows Shin Godzilla

Producer Luc Besson and director McG made a bet about the number of tones they could cram into 3 Days to Kill, and the audience lost. Meanwhile Elliott does his classic "2000 Year-Old Killer" routine, Dan gets more inappropriately sexual than ever before, Stu introduces the concept of a "neck baby," and TVs Jessica Williams stops by, because why the heck not?Movies recommended in this episode:The LimeyThey Came TogetherObvious ChildThe Sea Wolf

We discuss Last Vegas, which is, of course, a documentary from the far future about the time the elderly Original Peaches and friend went to Las Vegas. Meanwhile Dan unveils his totally original, copyrighted concept, Elliott reveals how he does creep research, and Stu pulls out a letters surprise.Movies recommended in this episode:Stop Making SenseLolaStakeland

BOOOGENS! Shocktober begins with Victor Frankenstein, the movie that posits that maybe we don't actually wanna see the monster that much. Meanwhile, Elliott disrespects the death of several major pop artists, Stu brings up Jackie Chan again, and Dan says some weird things about ears and hot dogs. Wikipedia synopsis for Victor Frankenstein. Movies recommended in this episode: Mr. Right The Howling The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean

Yes, Elliott, it should be called I, Frankenstein's Monster, but that doesn't change the fact that we watched I, Frankenstein. Meanwhile Elliott reveals the secret sex fetishes of Archie Comics characters, we learn Stuart's nicknames, and Dan asks the big metaphysical questions.Movies recommended in this episode:The GrannyThe Wages of FearDeceptive Practice: The Mysteries and Mentors of Ricky JayWhat's the Matter With Helen?

Smalltember/vember continues! On this episode we discuss the feature length ad for a dating website and for God, Christian Mingle. and Stuart explains how to find cartoon porn, Dan checks his website privilege, and Elliott "Weekend at Bernies"es someone very close to him. Wikipedia synopsis for Christian Mingle. Movies recommended in this episode: Mustang The Duke of Burgundy Hard Target 2

Despite being one of the more nothing movies we've ever watched, we somehow crap out what we believe to be our longest episode with G.I. Joe: Retaliation. It's a living. Meanwhile, Dan and Elliott explain what "G.I. Joe" means, and develop President Ziggy, and Stuart reveals he's an evil land developer.Movies recommended in this episode:Raising CainVideodromeDeath Rides a Horse

Smalltember/vember begins with a movie none of us had heard of until a couple of Canadian listeners pressed a blu-ray into our hot little hands: No Deposit. Meanwhile Elliott reveals Ringo Starr's adventures in New Jersey, Stuart sends a giant child straight to the circus, and Dan delivers a line that should NOT be taken out of context. NO WIKIPEDIA SYNOPSIS for No Deposit. So here's a page for Frank D'Angelo. Movies recommended in this episode: Demolition Man A Midsummer Night's Dream Pather Panchali

We discuss Easy Rider: The Ride Back, an object lesson in why you should never let a movie's sequel rights lapse. Meanwhile Dan explains the Flop House fan caste system, Elliott puts the "bar" in barter, and Stuart knows nothing about robots.Movies recommended in this episode:Blade IIThe EastMy Dinner With Andre

1980 was a simpler time, when you could put Clint Eastwood together with an orangutan, not bother to come up with a story, and release it as a major motion picture called Any Which Way but Loose (check out We Hate Movies doing the first film in the "Clint goes ape" series, Every Which Way but Loose HERE). Meanwhile Dan runs through several impeccable celebrity impressions, Elliott explains a rare sex act, and Stu discusses what orangutans did to get orangutan news before Google alerts.Movies recommended in this episode:Blue RuinI Saw the DevilShock Corridor

At the request of charity contest winner Erik North, we discuss the classic (?) 1998 version of Godzilla. Meanwhile Dan tries to explain Dangerous Liaisons, Elliott surprises no one by reading a Godzilla-centered magazine, and Stuart gives you some advice about how to get milk. Wikipedia synopsis for Godzilla. Movies recommended in this episode: Tickled Hitchcock/Truffaut Everybody Wants Some! Harlan County U.S.A. MAXFUN MEETUP at HINTERLANDS.

Hey remember those DeNiro and Stallone boxing movies you loved? This is also... a movie. We talk about Grudge Match, the movie that pretends DeNiro has a chance against steroidal Stallone. Meanwhile Dan discusses Kevin Hart's need to do only Kevin-branded movies, Elliott uncovers Sean Connery's strange belief he's in every movie, and one of Stu's relatives makes an unexpected appearance. Movies recommended in this episode:The Set-UpUnder the SkinThe Raid 2

Han Solo vs. Commissioner Gordon sounds awesome, until you realize the star of Paranoia is actually a Hemsworth brother. And not the good one. Meanwhile Elliott doubles down on the size of Gary Oldman's penis, Stuart disturbs us by talking about intimate times and Dan introduces the notion of a California Raisins fetish. A note: in this episode Dan confuses Baba Yaga with Strega Nona. Movies recommended in this episode:The Grand Budapest HotelThe VisitorThe Sweet Smell of Success

Kept in the Flop House Vaults until now, and released because we're on the road in D.C., it's the LIVE Fantastic Four show! Visit STUART’S BAR, HINTERLANDS.

Uh, one question, boss: Doesn't Gangster Squad kind of sound like WE'RE the Gangsters?We return to a big, old-fashioned Hollywood flop with Gangster Squad, the movie that takes a bunch of good actors and a promising director and churns out a film thats absurd and deadly dull by turns. Meanwhile Elliott gives Hoagie Carmichael gift advice, Stuart comes out for cast awareness, and Dan is tired and really doesn't keep up his end of the co-hosting duties. This episode brought to you by the letter "H."Movies recommended in this episode:The Roaring TwentiesThe Friends of Eddie CoyleManhunterGrand Piano

Zhubin Parang joins us for the fourth most magical time on the Flop House calandar: Cagemas in July! It's also time for the political conventions, so more extensive show notes are canceled while Dan jets off to Cleveland and Philly.

The solution to "Devil's Kidney Stone." In which Dan makes the mistake of thinking that, because Renny Harlin directed Devil's Pass, it would be crazy and weird, rather than draggy and significantly more boring than reading the Wikipedia page about the real Dyatlov Pass incident. Then, we forgo letters and recommendations to offer a condensed version of our usual Awards Floptacular, because no one (including us) really cared much about the Awards Floptacular anyway.

We just can't stop punishing ourselves with bizarre kids' computer animated films. Will Norm of the North be another Guardian of the Highlands or Foodfight!? Meanwhile Stuart has strong feelings on Tyrion Lannister's political positions, Elliott mangles Sinatra, and Dan is far too distracted by his loud cat. Wikipedia synopsis for Norm of the North. Movies recommended in this episode Shallow Grave Lifeboat Sleeping with Other People Get tickets for our LIVE SHOW in D.C. in August! Visit STUART’S BAR, HINTERLANDS.

Sort of like M*A*S*H, but not about the army and terrible.Consider our debt to "He's the Housecat (Arthur's Theme)" music video contest winner Dan Costales paid in full! Was it worth it Dan? Was if worth the pain you caused, making us watch the pre-Oscar Halle Berry racist stereotype comedy "B*A*P*S?" Meanwhile Elliott continually implies Martin Landau is a vampire, Stuart reveals how all males are sexually threatened by him, and Dan suggests that the Crypt Keeper should've come up with a better B*A*P*S twist. Movies recommended in this episode:The LEGO MovieBeauty is Embarrassing The Sea WolfThe Professionals

Ryan Reynolds' abs are RIPD like lettuce. We ease Elliott back into the Flop House groove with a movie right in our wheelhouse: the Men in Black/Ghostbusters-lite disaster R.I.P.D. Meanwhile Dan introduces the concept of ghost hats, Elliott uses the new recording space for its foley possibilities, Stu rails against shark-drummer racism, and the whole gang does their impeccable Boston accents.Movies recommended in this episode:Who's That Knocking at My DoorSudden DeathRay Harryhausen: Special Effects TitanCaptain Phillips

Elliott is back from his brief sabbatical. Will the possible evil-doll-antics of The Boy make him regret it? Meanwhile Stuart makes people's days better with a choking hazard, Dan's bachelor lifestyle is depressing, and Elliott shares why he has the cleanest poop in town. Wikipedia synopsis for The Boy. Movies recommended in this episode Mistress America De Palma The Face of Another Fright Night

First confession: she peed in the pool. Hallie closes out her monthlong residency subbing for the newly-dad-ified Elliott with a doozy. It's Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor. Meanwhile Stu can't seem to pronounce Kim Kardashian correctly, Dan advertises his new calendar concern, and Hallie outlines a proper musical exercise routine. Media recommended in this episode:True DetectiveYou're NextLovelace

Hallie rejoins us, while Elliott is briefly away, to determine whether any tears were jerked by the Nicholas Sparks tearjerker, The Choice. Meanwhile Stuart reveals the Hamburglar's m-o, Dan discusses the strange things he's slept on, and Hallie explains the romantic troubles of dating someone on the metric system. Movies recommended in this episode Mr. Arkadin Entertainment Cross of Iron

It's the Flop House crew vs. the Dream Team in an all-out dance/bad movie fight to the finish, as we discuss Battle of the Year. Meanwhile, Stu challenges our missing co-host for synopsis supremacy, Dan discusses Vincent Van Gogh's battle with his own body, and Hallie drops the world's best rooster pun.

Live from Cake Shop as part of NYC Podfest. It's Gods of Egypt.

Go away, Getaway Hawkey Holidays to all the little Flop House boys and girls. Your present is the movie-length chase scene Getaway. Meanwhile, Dan takes on the liberal media, Stuart gives one of his patented Flop House asides, and Elliott reminds us all of Dorf's amazing performance in Don't Look Now.Movies recommended in this episode:The Hobbit: The Desolation of SmaugThe GetawayRoninThe Ballad of Cable HogueOur Town

On this episode we discuss the should-be-more-hateable tale of young aspiring DJ douches We Are Your Friends. Meanwhile, Elliott describes a Golden Girls party at length, Stuart burns Broadway, and Dan slowly dies. Apologies for the wonky audio. Due to his cold, Dan may have made a recording mistake with the microphones. Movies recommended in this episode: In the Blood Krampus Captain America: Civil War The 13th Warrior Portrait of Jason

You can have my Christmas when you pry it from my cold dead hand. Hey, remember when we all used to celebrate Christmas? Last Ounce of Courage takes us back to that magical time. Meanwhile, Stu is upset at the way Wolverine treated his Christmas gift, Dan fails to have perspective about his knee, and Elliott reveals the Jesus/Ducktales crossover. Movies recommended in this episode:TargetsStokerMy Name is Nobody

This episode is part three in a podcrawl with the guys at Read it and Weep, and at Too Beautiful to Live, covering the entire Look Who's Talking trilogy. We got to handle the thrilling conclusion, Look Who's Talking Now. Meanwhile we discover what's in the file titled "Things Stuart Knows," Dan reveals his shameful Simpsons past, and Elliott pitches "Fiddler on the Wolf Goes West." Movies recommended in this episode: Ricki and the Flash The Invitation China 9, Liberty 37

JAYDEN WILL BE RECOGNIZED. It's the movie they tried to pretend M. Night Shyamalan had nothing to do with: After Earth. Meanwhile, Elliott introduces us to the Crypt Keeper's brother, Stuart meets his Phantasm hero, and Dan just needs to explain a few things first. Movies recommended in this episode:Bad MiloBlue is the Warmest Color99 River Street