The Flop House

We make up for our lost movie minute with our longest supplemental episode yet, about how the Oscars are always wrong.

Dan's surgery kept him from writing up detailed show notes, which is lame, we know. But come on. Between that and Oogieloves, hasn't he suffered enough?

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme0:32 - 22:00 - Watch out for Nicholas Cage. That motherfucker is BANGKOK Dangerous.22:01 - 34:35 - We get bored of talking about Bangkok Dangerous, and quickly digress into talk of AVP2, pornography, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Zombie Strippers, Return of the Jedi, and Hitman (with a little more Bangkok Dangerous thrown in as anti-spice)34:36 - 39:28 - Final judgments39:30 - 46:59 - Letters from listeners.47:00 - 52:35- The sad bastards recommend.52:36 - 53:54 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 40:59 - When we were paperboys, we remember a lot less rough sex.41:00 - 42:38 - Final judgments42:29 - 54:32 - Flop House Movie Mailbag54:33 - 1:03:00 - The sad bastards recommend. 1:03:01 - 1:06:55 - The gang's an asshole to Dan, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 34:36 - That kid's really turning over a new leaf. A NEW LEAF. GET IT? Aaaaah, you don't get it.34:37 - 37:20 - Final judgments37:21 - 38:06 - Plugs38:07 - 54:29 - The only helpful edition of the Flop House Movie Mailbag54:30 - 1:01:28 - The sad bastards recommend. 1:01:29 - 1:03:00 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme0:32 - 2:00 - We reintroduce ourselves, after our long winter's nap.2:01 - 33:51- In the long tradition of dance films, this is certainly one of them.33:52 - 36:40 - Final judgments36:41 - 43:25 - Letters from listeners.43:26 - 54:33 - The sad bastards recommend, New Year's special - our top five films of the year.54:34 - 55:50 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 42:19 - Hey, Len Wiseman's never made a bad action film starring his wife Kate Beckensale, right? Right?42:20 - 45:14 - Final judgments45:15 - 47:30 - Plugs47:31 - 57:19 - The only helpful edition of the Flop House Movie Mailbag57:2- - 1:04:00 - The sad bastards recommend. 1:04:01- 1:05:48 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Christmas specials under the microscope.The music you hear in this episode is Hark the Herald Angels sing, as performed by Doug Hammer on the album Noel, courtesy of feelslikechristmas.com, which provides free Christmas music for personal and nonprofit use.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 5:04 - We spend the first five minutes talking about a movie about toys that WASN'T the one we watched, released more than a decade ago.5:05 - 11:14 - We make a brief feint at discussing Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, but quickly get sidetracked by Willy Wonka and old-time character actors.11:15 - 35:41 - We finally manage to focus on the topic at hand, the horrifying tale of a sentient toy store and its insane inhabitants. What's that? It's a kids' film? ...You sure?35:42 - 40:05 - Final judgments.40:06 - 44:10 - Copyright infringement, listener mail, and discussion of nude Lea Thompson.44:11 - 46:34 - The MOST IMPORTANT SEGMENT EVER.46:35 - 54:38 - The sad bastards recommend.54:39 - 58:30 - Goodbyes, outtakes, and theme.

More trailers for the biggest winter releases.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:15 - Mustaches are much discussed.2:16 - 32:22 - We talk about the Katherine Heigel rom-com 27 Dresses, and show our affinity for the material by staying on-topic almost never. Also: boobs.32:23 - 36:30 - Final judgments, in which 27 Dresses manages to SHATTER the Flop House categories.36:31 - 46:17 - The sad bastards recommend. Plus, we learn another famous person Elliott has had tangential interactions with. And also: even more boobs.46:18 - 48:46 - November-December is Flop House listener pledge drive season - but you don't have to pay us in cash-- just recruit new listeners.48:47 - 51:30 - We write the great lost sex comedy, "Lustache."51:31 - 52:55 - Goodbyes, theme, outtakes, and a whole heck of a lot more boobs.

0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme.0:31 - 37:37 - The Original Peaches ring out 2012 and ring in the New Year with the man who has given us so much: Nicholas Flopolas Cage.37:38 - 40:10 - Final judgments40:11 - 57:57- Flop House Movie Mailbag57:58 - 1:06:20 - The sad bastards recommend. 1:06:21- 1:08:13 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

We present this alternate, much shorter, version of the Al Pacino film 88 Minutes.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme.0:32 - 35:10 - Fan favorite Hallie Haglund subs in for Stu in our discussion of the jukebox gloss-fest, Rock of Ages.35:11 - 39:28 - Final judgments39:29 - 56:58 - Flop House Movie Mailbag, with the very first letters DUET.56:59 - 1:03:36 - The sad bastards recommend. 1:03:37- 1:04:59 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme.0:31 - 5:02 - We explain why we're the dynamic duo this week, and talk about how much we miss Stuart. Also: we engage in the name-droppiest name dropping yet, as Elliott tells the story of the time he met PRESIDENT ELECT BARACK OBAMA.5:03 - 32:52 - We talk about 88 Minutes, the movie that is a worse example of real-time filmmaking than Nick of Time, and a far worse example of post-mortem semen-swapping than Presumed Innocent.32:53 - 37:25 - Final judgments, plus a brief side-track into dream analysis.37:26 - 45:43 - The sad bastards recommend. 45:43 - 46:32 - We talk about Stuart some more. Jeez! Why don't us guys get a room, already!46:33 - 49:03 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Stuart's harrowing tale of survival is now a zany comedy starring Seth Rogan.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 41:07 - Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter takes us on a 100% accurate tour through American history.41:08 - 42:32 - Final judgments42:33 - 43:40 - All Things Comedy plugs43:41 - 58:17 - Flop House Movie Mailbag58:18 - 1:05:07 - The sad bastards recommend. 1:05:08 - 1:06:22 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:39 - Introduction and theme.0:40 - 41:28 - It's a Flop House event! We've been waiting so long for the DVD release for M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening that we jump right in and don't stop talking about it for forty minutes. (Would I call it a "Flop House happening?" No. That would be dumb.)41:29 - 44:17 - Final judgments on The Happening.44:18 - 48:30 - What the heck. Final judgments on M. Night, too.48:31 - 56:40 - The sad bastards recommend. 56:41 - 58:26 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In the first edition of Name Droppin', Elliott talks about working with Ian McShane.

Due to Election Day and vacation travel scheduling, show notes for this episode are unavailable. Our apologies. Here is a picture of a funny cat: http://tinyurl.com/mhstpx

0:00 - 0:37 - Introduction and theme.0:38 - 1:54 - The whole team is back together again, so to celebrate they ramble off-topic for a while.1:55 - 37:13 - We talk about Prom Night, a shocking expose about the incompetence of the Bridgeport police department.37:14 - 40:35 - Final judgments.40:36 - 49:27 - We explain why we haven't had the Flop House contest winner on, announce a winner of the Ewe Boll contest, and Dan shamelessly plugs his own project.49:28 - 52:54 - The sad bastards recommend. 52:55 - 54:30 - Goodbyes, theme, outtakes, and many, many sound effects

Detailed show notes canceled on account of hurricane.

We give you directions on how to make your own Flop House at home.

What do you get when Stuart is out of town on vacation, Elliott is busy transitioning from one high-stress television comedy job to another high-stress television comedy job, and Dan is having Internet problems? A rerun! Hey, at least we don't do it as much as LOST. (Well, as much as they used to... before their uninterrupted seasons... lets pretend that joke was still relevant and move on). In this, one of our favorite episodes, we discussed Bratz-- a movie that was so unexpectedly delightful in its badness that it became the gold standard for Flop House film ratings. Enjoy.

0:00 - 0:36 - Introduction and SHOCKtober theme.0:37 - 31:33 - Quoth The Raven, "Wouldn't it be cool if Poe, like, fought a serial killer?!"31:34 - 36:09 - Pumpkin spice flavored final judgments36:10 - 54:18 - Flop House Movie Mailbag54:19 - 59:35 - The sad bastards recommend. 59:36 - 1:01:58 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:45 - We welcome back Elliott Kalan, make fun of Stuart, and reintroduce Ritch Duncan.2:46 - 40:22 - We make up for our spottily-released late summer shows by making this our second-longest episode ever and spending far too much time discussing Wild Hogs-- possibly more than the screenwriter took to write it.40:23 - 44:30 - Final judgments.44:31 - 49:10 - We congratulate Elliott on some huge news, and spend a little time discussing the Ewe Boll contest (with a brief R.I.P. for Dan's local video rental place).49:11 - 55:56 - The sad bastards recommend.55:57 - 57:28 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 31:34 - Isn't it always the way? You meet the man of your dreams, and God gives you butt cancer.31:35 - 32:44 - Final judgments32:45 - 41:55 - Some thanks, some plugs, but most importantly: our BIG ANNOUNCEMENT.41:56 - 54:33 - Flop House Movie Mailbag54:35 - 1:00:53 - The sad bastards recommend. 1:00:54 - 1:02:45 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 37:37 - A movie as bloated and overlong as Battleship deserves one of our most bloated and overlong discussions, right?37:38 - 40:07 - Final judgments40:08 - 42:33 - A plug for our live panel show, and a discussion that honestly probably should have been cut from the podcast.42:34 - 55:54 - Flop House Movie Mailbag55:55 - 1:29:59- The sad bastards recommend. 1:30:00 - 1:04:55 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

We honor the modern-day Ed Wood with a contest.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:30 - We introduce our guest co-host, leggy comedienne Sara Schaefer.2:31 - 35:29 - We each give our vantage points on the film Vantage Point. See what I did there? I made you want to shoot yourself.35:30 - 38:40 - Final judgments. 38:41 - 43:28 - We announce the WINNER OF THE FLOP HOUSE CONTEST!43:29 - 47:17 - The sad bastards recommend. (Also, according to our web research, the second movie Sara recommends-- the one where she can't remember the title-- is probably Butcher Wing.)47:18 - 52:11 - Sara plugs some stuff, and Stuart demonstrates his complete misunderstanding of the concept of plugs.52:12 - 53:29 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Apologies for the lack of more detailed show notes, as 2/3 of the Flop House are busy traveling for the GOP and Democratic conventions.

We talk with the listeners, walk with the listeners.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 35:10 - At least Passion Play is the first Megan Fox movie that's not bad BECAUSE of Megan Fox. That's gotta be worth something, right?35:11 - 38:26 - Final judgments38:27 - 55:05 - Flop House Movie Mailbag55:06 - 59:24 - The sad bastards recommend. 59:25 - 1:00:27 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 1:57 - We take a moment to discuss Stuart's choice of attire.1:58 - 38:02 - We discuss the film One Missed Call, the movie that asks the question, "Can anything be all bad, if it involves Ray Wise?"38:03 - 41:09 - Final judgments.41:10 - 49:21- The sad bastards recommend. 49:22 - 51:45 - More on the Flop House contest, and goodbyes.51:46 - 52:30 - Theme and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:36 - Introduction and theme.0:37 - 33:57 - It's not much of a Ghost Rider movie, but at least it has spirit.33:58 - 38:55 - A recap supercut, followed by Final judgments38:56 - 53:35 - Flop House Movie Mailbag53:36 - 1:00:35 - The sad bastards recommend. 1:00:36 - 1:02:21 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:47 - We have our usual difficulty getting down to business.2:48 - 30:30 - Would 10,000 B.C. have been better if it had starred Ringo Starr and Shelly Long? Yes. Yes it would.30:31 - 34:13 - Final judgments.34:14 - 36:45 - A brief digression about the films of Brendan Fraser.36:46 - 46:13 - The sad bastards recommend. 46:14 - 52:57 - A greater explication of the Flop House contest, surveys, podcasty business, and goodbyes.52:58 - 53:39 - Theme and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 3:57 - After a brief interjection from "The Top House," we take on the perversion of Greek mythology, Immortals.32:55 - 36:20 - Final judgments36:21 - 51:50 - Flop House Movie Mailbag51:51 - 1:01:52 - The sad bastards recommend. 57:19 - 59:22 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:37 - Introduction and theme.0:38 - 3:57 - Some talk of Dan's stubble and much talk of his national TV debut3:58 - 32:45 - A discussion of A Thousand Words, the movie that we assume resulted from Eddie Murphy not wanting to learn a lot of lines.32:46 - 35:53 - Final judgments35:54 - 51:50 - Flop House Movie Mailbag51:51 - 1:01:52 - The most interrupt-y sad bastards recommend ever!. 1:01:53 - 1:04:25 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:29- Introduction and theme.0:30 - 2:12 - We re-introduce guest host Zhubin Parang2:14 - 36:55 - Hey look everyone! It's a dopey thing that people have based their whole philosophy on.36:56 - 40:34 - Final judgments40:35 - 56:46 - Flop House Movie Mailbag50:18 - 1:01:13 - The sad bastards recommend1:01:14 - 1:02:49 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes

0:00 - 0:48- Introduction, live show reminder, and theme.0:49 - 4:23 - More nonsense than usual.4:24 - 36:18 - When you think "bounty hunter" you think Katherine Heigl. 36:19 - 38:55 - Final judgements38:56 - 50:17 - Flop House Movie Mailbag50:18 - 58:52 - The sad bastards recommend. 58:53 - 1:00:03 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:31- Introduction and theme.0:32 - 2:15 - Stu talks Puerto Rico and celebrity beefs 2:16 - 36:29 - 'Allo 'allo, it's me, Danyul Craig, wot's all these Cowboys & Aliens, then?36:30 - 37:50 - Final judgements37:51 - 53:00 - Flop House Movie Mailbag53:01 - 59:21 - The sad bastards recommend. 59:22 - 1:00:30 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:35- Introduction and theme.0:36 - 9:15 - Our guest, Al Madrigal, regales us with tales of what it's like to actually appear in a Flop House-quality film. 9:16 - 49:40 - A discussion of The Last Godfather, a Korean comedy star's attempt to conquer the American market. As crossovers go, it's at least as successful as "Rappin' Rodney."49:41 - 51:27 - Final judgements51:28 - 1:02:00 - Al talks Craigslist moviemaking, and the sad bastards recommend. 1:02:01 - 1:04:26 - A plug, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:44 - Introduction and theme.0:45 - 3:50 - We waste a little time celebrating a meaningless milestone3:51 - 44:04 - A discussion of America's filmmaking apex: Tango & Cash44:05 - 1:00:00 - The Flop House Movie Mailbag1:00:01 - 1:06:431:06:44 - 1:08:00 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:36 - Introduction and theme.0:37 - 5:37 - We discuss In Time's "Olivia Wildegate" scandal5:38 - 34:34 - The Three Musketeers has inspired at least twenty full-length film adaptations and many more sequels, shorts, and cartoons. It is timeless tale, impossible to ruin. This film does its damnedest. 34:35 - 38:19 - Final judgements38:20 - 51:20 - Flop House Movie Mailbag51:21 - 1:00:09 - Our longest recommendations in a while1:00:10 - 1:03:00 - Plugs, theme, and outtakes.

But there was time! Time enough... at last!

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 34:00 - We discuss The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences' top honor. You know, the one they entrusted to Billy Crystal.34:01 - 44:29 - We bestow the most coveted of all awards: The Floppies.44:30 - 1:00:02 - Flop House Movie Mailbag1:00:03 - 1:07:40 - Some year-end recommendations from 20111:07:41 - 1:10:02 - Plugs, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:50 - The peaches reacquaint themselves with each other and this thing called "podcasting."2:51 - 30:20 - We discuss Nic Cage's latest Flop House joint, Trespass, which approached Delgo levels of failure.30:21- 34:18 - Final judgments34:19 - 50:00 - Flop House Movie Mailbag50:01 - 57:29 - The sad bastards recommend.57:30 - 1:02:04- Plugs, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 6:41 - We introduce our special guest, fellow Daily Show writer Zhubin Parang, and extend thanks to all who came to the live show.6:42 - 37:15 - We discuss Nic Cage's latest Flop House joint, Trespass, which approached Delgo levels of failure.37:16 - 39:50 - Final judgments39:51 - 52:55 - Flop House Movie Mailbag52:56 - 57:00 - The sad bastards recommend.57:01 - 59:27- Frackcast, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:30 - A lot of nonsense about bears.0:33 - 2:56 - The usual bullshit.2:57 - 32:08 - Conan hears the lamentations of the Flop House.32:09 - 38:24 - Final judgments38:251 - 52:34 - Flop House Movie Mailbag52:35 - 54:36 - We plug our LIVE EVENT.54:37 - 57:01 - The sad bastards recommend.57:02 - 58:35- Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:56 - The usual bullshit.2:57 - 36:23 - Look! Up in the air! It's a Granny Smith apple! It's Kermit! No, it's the GREEN LANTERN!36:24 - 40:20 - Final judgments40:21 - 52:55 - Flop House Movie Mailbag52:56 - 56:25 - We plug our LIVE EVENT.56:26 - 57:52 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.